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Jim Hoft’s Patriotic Thought For The Fourth

Shorter Jim Hoft: ABOVE: Jim Hoft demonstrates his preferred method for finding dates Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit: White House Garden Tests Positive For Lead Wouldn’t it be hilarious if the First Family gets lead poisoning from their own garden? ‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all […]


Shorter Jim Hoft

ABOVE: Pam Geller (Atlas SHRIEKS!!!!!) and Jim Hoft (Gateway Nitwit) Wikipedia Scrubs Dear Leader’s Page Clean of Critical Entries Obama is just like Stalin and Mao because someone at Wikipedia is deleting from Obama’s entry any references to the true fact that Obama was born in Kenya and is ineligible to be President of the […]


“Unreal” Story from Hoft Shockingly Turns Out To Be, Well, Unreal

ABOVE: Jim Hoft, in front of GZ chip displaythat will become the GZ Muslim triumphalvictory culinary center and halal snack aisle Jim Hoft, The Gateway Dumbshit, offers another of his breathless dispatches on the perfidy of liberals who are, apparently, giving the keys to Fort Knox to the Mooslim terrorists while snatching innocent Christian infants […]


Sherlock Hoft and the Adventure of Black Peter

ABOVE: Sherlock “Jim” Hoft Sherlock Hoft, aka “The Gateway Pundit,” has broken out his detective cap, toy pipe and junior gumshoe magnifying glass and applied his super sleuthing skills to tracking down the malefactors who hacked Sarah Palin’s Yahoo email account. And guess who he’s discovered behind it? The scary Negro, that’s who! Quoting one […]


Sherlock Hoft And The Adventure Of The Egg-Splattered Face

ABOVE: Jim “Gateway Pundit” Hoft tries to look like Jeff Gannon* — fortunately while fully-clothed. Jim Hoft, who probably hasn’t read a book not published by Regnery since he read the first four pages of Tom Sawyer in high school, has decided that he is a literary sleuth. So Jim recently performed a careful hermeneutic […]


Here’s A Hint, Jim: It Starts With The Letter “G”

Jim Hoft, a motivational speaker and alleged model, is over at his blog The Gateway Pundit getting all riled up about Stewart Zamudio, the former Army National Guard member who once appeared in recruiting commercials but now is having the temerity to speak out against the invasion of Iraq. Hoft is so beside himself that […]


It’s Almost Like They’re Tired of Hand-Waving Their Monstrous Creations Away or Something

When you’re a middle-aged middle-manager suburban fuck trying to look like an extra from Deliverance, something’s gone terribly wrong with your life. Jim Hoft, Goatse Pundit: Horror!… Neo-Nazi #Occupy Phoenix Protester Goes on Shooting Rampage – 5 Dead* Shorter (or the last port before jungle): The fact that JT Ready once annoyed a bunch of […]


The Professor Is In

While wading through Don “Jim Bob” Surber’s shiite at his eponymous blog, it struck me that it is quite possible that Surber has done something most people would think impossible. He appears to be getting dumber. Like many, I had thought that Surber had dug himself to the bottom of the stupid hole, but I […]


Headlines. How Do They Work?

ABOVE: Jim Hoft guards snack aisle fromMuslim bomb plot Jim Hoft’s blog, the Gateway Dumbshit, recently disappeared mysteriously from First Things, the Roman Catholic site which once hosted it, and popped up minutes later at Kelsey Grammer’s Rightnutwork. Although no one peeped a word about Hoft’s sudden realignment, one can only speculate that Hoft was […]


Nutrition And Beauty Advice From Arnold Alkon

“Sneaky little sadlynautses” Hey, I was wandering around the Internetz this morning when I saw our good friend Amy Arnold Alkon out digging one of his famous shit moats. So I decided to pay a visit to our favorite Los Angeles transvestite and see what’s cooking in the advice goddess business. First, Arnold was upset […]