More fun with bitter wingnut virgins
I tell ya, there’s nothing more creepy enjoyable than to read a bitter winger complain about the state of the dating scene these days. It gets even better when the winger in question puts all the blame on one side (i.e., women) for his lack of success. We can see this phenomenon in effect over at the Modern Conservative blog, where a wingnut calling hisself “The Stranger” bemoans the lack of “real” womenfolk populating the Yoo-Ess-Uv-Ay:
by The Stranger
Turn on the TV these days and what you see mostly are strident, angry women. In your face, particularly if it’s the face of a male. Sarcastically putting the males in their places. Lately, and increasingly, punching the lights out of the men when its called for and sometimes when its not – just to let the men know who the bosses are these days: WOMEN: THE NEW MEN!!!
Why is it that in most commercials being shown on TV the man is the goofball, the doofus? In family commercials Dad is the dummy of the household, butt of derision, the one who is lame, who needs to be brought up to speed, often by the kids in the family. And if they’re not the ones doing it, then there’s the man of the house – MOM!! – the authority figure, the one who wears the pants (think Hilary Clinton) – the one with the BALLS (again, think Hilary Clinton). Poor dad – he no longer knows best. Its all about mom now.
The silent majority, the oppressed, the disenfranchised, life force being discriminated against, and disrespected today – are men.
Indeed — why are there so few men in positions of power these days? It’s not enough that both presidential candidates are men, or that men comprise the majority of big-bucks CEOs, or that most members of the Supreme Court and elected members of Congress are men. No, none of that shit means nothin’: women got all the power today, man, as evidenced by the fact that I saw a couple of movies and I watch too much television. Dudes got it rough!
Man as hero – where has he gone? The closest thing we have these days to a heroic man are ….. males who appear to be geeks and nerds.
You don’t say. I’m surprised you don’t feel more flattered to be portrayed as heroic, then.
The real endangered species these days are guys who are admirable, comfortable in their own skins, masculine without trying to be – guys, in short, who feel no need to jump up and down on couches ( uhh – he ain’t one of ‘em).
Men who aren’t afraid to running around the woods dressed like elf mages, who bravely hurl deadly spell packets at villainous intruders, who have 17 strength and 16 dexterity…
In my opinion the losers in this equation are the women. In the name of equality and feminism- women have begun to act like men. Look at an old episode of Murphy Brown. Then look at a current episode of a show that’s on TV today, Boston Legal – and compare Candace Bergen in both shows. Formerly she sounded, in the quality of her voice, like a woman.
Yeah, but you crazy buggers hated her anyway because her character dared to have a kid out of wedlock…
Today she sounds like a MAN. Look at the clothes she wears on the show (again, think Hilary Clinton). She’s become manly…. A manly woman: The NEW WOMAN.
What’s being lost is the polarity between the sexes. La Difference: The celebration between the male energy and the female energy.
OK, we’ve definitely moved from “sorta based a little bit on some thread of reality” territory straight into “fuck it, I’ma make this shit up as I go” territory. I give him three paragraphs at the most before he starts breaking out the phrenology charts…
Men have noticed this. But aren’t saying anything, because its not politically correct. Today, political correctness means celebrating feminine empowerment (think Sex and The City, Desperate Housewives, Army Wives ad nauseum), woman as goddess etc. – all the Oprah bs.
You’ll notice what all these shows have in common — that’s right, they all feature sexually assertive women. Now I think we’re really getting to the core of Mr. Stranger’s anxiety — he’s done a-scurred of womenfolk who enjoy TEH SEXXXOR.
Men are hungry for women who make them feel good. About them being men ….about them being themselves….about there being women in the world that they can be friends with, associates with and sometimes lovers with….relishing all those qualities that women have always possessed that have captivated, and elevated us as men that I no longer see absolutely any trace of on afternoon talk shows or in my living room any more watching TV.
Oh, but this is charming! Women, in Mr. Stranger’s calculus, are supposed to spend their lives making men feel good about themselves! To act as a booster to their self-esteem! To help them avoid the perils of self-blame and shame spirals! Who knew that wingnuts had taken such a shine to the fruity-assed self-esteem movement???
I saw a Country & Western Awards show on TV some months ago. I noticed that all the women performers (Reba &co,) were singing songs that all had the same message: “I am woman, hear me roar” …“ I’m a powerful woman who doesn’t need a man” blah, blah, blah. At one point in the show Country superstar George Strait sang a song “HOW ABOUT THEM COWGIRLS.” And just for a moment – there it was! A man singing about the beauty that is WOMAN. Celebrating it ….singing about it/ admiring and loving the all that is the feminine energy in a country song. WOW!! He nailed it! He stopped the show.
You’ll notice that all of Mr. Stranger’s examples of manhood/womanhood so far come from watching television. I don’t know about the rest of you, but teevee is generally the last place I want to go when I want to be in touch with, you know, reality and whatnot.
I saw the faces of the men AND THE WOMEN in the audience. It was a moment – a baptism of LOVE / POLARITY and MUTUAL ADMIRATION- a celebration of the polarity between the male and the female energy!
OK, WTF. When did this turn from a bitter wingnut rant into a third-rate Ms. Cleo advert? Do I dare to hope that Mr. Stranger will end this post by writing, “And if ya want advice on dat relationship, chile… CALL ME NOW!!!”
The truly, truly great love stories that I have seen in a motion picture theater like CASABLANCA, A PLACE IN THE SUN, GONE WITH THE WIND, (The French Film) HAPPY NEW YEAR, SOUNDER, SLEEPLESS IN SEATTLE, (even) THE ENGLISH PATIENT to name just a very few – are all centered around a man and a woman who love one another and whose love, each for the other is a COMPLEMENT the audience bears witness to that is the very essence of the grace that exists at the very center of who and what we are as human beings, male AND female: TOGETHER.
Sleepless in Seattle??? Are you fucking kidding me??? The movie where Meg Ryan bloody stalks the dude she’s after??? That movie is a good example of true love????
Yes, indeed and Amen, too. We need more a that kind of celebratin’. We need more a that: men being just men – and women actin’ like …. well, then, there, now …… ACTIN’ LIKE WOMEN….INSTEADA’….. LIKE MEN.
There’s nothing I can really add to this, since it’s hard to argue with a guy on a CAPS-LOCK RAMPAGE like Mr. Stranger is. And really, why bother arguing with someone who’s so obviously the Perfect Man: insecure, has an affinity for fruity movies, prone to fits of emasculated rage, talks about relationships using bizarre New Age bullshit… I mean, hellllllllooooooo, ladies!!!!
Hey, Stranger (if that is your real name) – chicks don’t dig whiny guys. So quit whining already.
Wanker.
At one point in the show Country superstar George Strait sang a song “HOW ABOUT THEM COWGIRLS.” And just for a moment – there it was! A man singing about the beauty that is
WOMANCOWS.Fixed.
This guy really does base 110% of his worldview on television shows. I wonder if he’s ever gone anywhere out of uniform?
Dude, I don’t think your lady problems are Candace Bergen’s fault. I think it might be related to you wearing your costume from the dinner theatre production of “Spartacus! The Musical!” all the damned time. It’s not as chick-magnet-y as you might think.
I have never forgiven the man who took me to see ‘Sleepless In Seattle’ on a date. Jim, if you’re out there, I still hate you for those two hours.
Why is it that in most commercials being shown on TV the man is the goofball, the doofus?
Boy that is a new one. I don’t think I’ve ever heard that complaint before at all.
Those aren’t actually pics of him, just to be clear… they’re what I imagine he looks like though…
Why is it that in most commercials being shown on TV the man is the goofball, the doofus? In family commercials Dad is the dummy of the household, butt of derision, the one who is lame, who needs to be brought up to speed, often by the kids in the family. And if they’re not the ones doing it, then there’s the man of the house – MOM!! – the authority figure, the one who wears the pants (think Hilary Clinton) – the one with the BALLS (again, think Hilary Clinton). Poor dad – he no longer knows best. Its all about mom now.
Because mom is the person that tends to actually buy the things in those commercials so, you know, they’re is supposed to appeal to her.
Moron.
Well I still want to see the guy in that second photo riding around on this: http://www.scootervillemn.com/scooters/kymco/grand_vista_250.html
Brad
You have quite the archive of Geek Gladiators photos. They pop up constantly. I mean, I’m certain there’s a logical explanation. Right?
“woman as goddess etc. – all the Oprah bs.”
Someone misses his ‘Leave it to Beaver’ bs.
There’s no more polarity between the sexes because women have been known to assert themselves on occasion and a soap commercial has a dad who’s an idiot. This is why THE STRANGER sits at home all day watching television. The wo-MEN out there are frightening, what with their pants and shoes and other manly accoutrements.
Seriously though, I’ve never had any trouble identifying Candice Bergan as a woman, no matter how she talks. There are certain subtle hints that reveal this, though I admit that leaving the house occasionally gives me an unfair advantage over THE STRANGER in this regard.
The images of Kali are a nice touch. So scary!
Wait a minute… did this guy just hold up Gone with the Wind as a movie about true love with man and woman complementing each other? This is yet another example of “are you sure you were watching the same thing I was?”
.relishing all those qualities that women have always possessed that have captivated, and elevated us as men that I no longer see absolutely any trace of on afternoon talk shows or in my living room any more watching TV.
I’m not sure what the distinction is here. Does he only watch afternoon talk shows in the bedroom? Not up until four or five?
Does he only watch afternoon talk shows as part of the studio audience?
How is watching tv in his living room different from watching afternoon talk shows? Dammit, I gotta know!
And as part of the larger question, all of the things he says he wants he could have in a relationship with a strong, independent, assertive woman. Umm, if she only didn’t scare him and cause him to piddle all the time.
‘Cause dood. VERY few women find that sexy.
Oh, there are a few. But you’re gonna ruin a lot of pants and evenings out hoping to find them…
mikey
Speaking of virgins, Virgin Ben Shapiro is getting married tomorrow. Call him the Virgin Ben while you still can.
Jrod
There’s no more polarity between the sexes…
You know, that Time Cube guy has a similar rant.
When I watched “Gone with the Wind,” I couldn’t get over the fact that Scarlett couldn’t see that Ashley Wilkes was gay, gay, gay. I guess Mr Stranger saw something different–the director’s cut, maybe.
What is that freak talking about? A Place in the Sun is about a man who murders a poor woman who is pregnant with his child so that he can marry a wealthy heiress.
Why do I have the feeling that this guy would have trouble getting a date with a paid escort? I really think he needs to establish a warm and lasting bond with his right hand, ’cause that is the only date he will ever have.
Yeah, like they’re supposed to like in those commercials from Budweiser during football games.
I think this post was written after he bought two crates worth of axe body spray and because of the masculization of women, the chicks didn’t dig him.
I’m trying to remember a time when afternoon talk shows were about elevating men. Maybe Springer, since it’s easy to feel elevated over a couple ugly trailer-trash rednecks getting into a fistfight over the affections of an equally ugly trailer-trash woman who ends up choosing the circus midget from the sideshow that’s always milling about on his stage.
Er… um, so I’ve heard anyway.
I’m also hard pressed to think of anything less “captivating” about a women than a complete lack of assertiveness and self-esteem, but then again I don’t spend my days hiding from fembots under the couch cushions.
Men are a majority?
He’s got a point. Why isn’t Michelle Obama six inches taller and a hundred pounds heavier than Barack, just like those wacky 70s black sitcoms? Everybody together now: DY-NO-MIIITE!
Now now, let’s not blame the suit. I’m sure GWAR has groupies, and furries are notoriously horny.
Dood, you totally don’t want to know what he was doing when he started with the run on sentences. As for why the CAPSLOCK key got stuck a few times…
Isn’t “modernconservative” an oxymoron?
Speaking of virgins, Virgin Ben Shapiro is getting married tomorrow. Call him the Virgin Ben while you still can.
Well, you probably still have a while. It’ll take him at least a week to read the “how-to” book he bought for the occasion.
Remember when Queen Amidala and Anakin totally got married? That was rad. Plus, she was pregnant, which means they had sex. But that was why she had to die, because she was a dirty slut who betrayed Anakin.
Remember when Princess Leia totally almost had sex with Luke Skywalker? That was rad. But, thankfully she didn’t, because they were brother and sister. But I still beat off thinking about it.
Remember Final Fantasy? That chick was totally hot. Even though she was a cartoon. I totally found some websites that had her getting reamed by a ten foot dragon shlong and some manga zombies. That was rad.
Someone should do a large-format coffee table book on a year in the life of a GWAR groupie.
Because when it comes to bodily fluids, the possibilities are endless…
mikey
“Sounder”?
That would be this Sounder?
Uh —
Just thought I’d point out that the guys who crucified Jesus wore those same uniforms.
Turn on the TV these days and what you see mostly are strident, angry women.
[Question: Why are men not “strident” when they’re angry?]
In your face, particularly if it’s the face of a male.
He wishes.
Sarcastically putting the males in their places. Lately, and increasingly, punching the lights out of the men when its [sic] called for and sometimes when its [sic] not – just to let the men know who the bosses are these days.
’cause God knows it should be the other way around, and women have never ever had to sit through that sort of thing on TV and in movies.
The silent majority, the oppressed, the disenfranchised, life force being discriminated against, and disrespected today – are men.
Okay. Okay Brad, you had me goin’ there for a minute. You’re just makin’ shit up, right? Cuz this was just a leetle too over the top. Nice try though!
“Turn on the TV these days… Sarcastically putting the males in their places. Lately, and increasingly, punching the lights out of the men when its called for and sometimes when its not – just to let the men know who the bosses are these days: WOMEN: THE NEW MEN!!!”
Yeah, cos Wilma, Betty, Jane Jetson et al. were just so fucking deferential to Fred, Barney, and George. Things sure have changed.
Here’s an idea, Jackass: if you don’t like what’s on the teevee, turn the fucker off.
Silly Teh Stranger,* surely you know the Rainbow Velvet Abortosexual Mafia has taken over Madison Avenue. As part of our cunning plan to ANNIHILATE sock hops, puppy love, traditional marriage, and human life on Earth, we are gradually turning straight males in to figures of derision. Soon no woman will be able to look at a straight man without thinking “Yuck, whatta doofus,” and she’ll run off with her best friend from college, they’ll get hitched and sit around laughing at the time they nearly married a yucky doofus such as yourself.
Bwaha, motherfucker!
* I trust his handle bears no relation to A. “French Sissy Surrender Monkey” Camus’ L’Etranger.
AG would love to go on a date with this guy. Oh man. AG would totally re-adjust that little attitude by dessert!!
Also, I swear I’ve seen the exact same schtick about guys being portrayed as doofuses in another Wingnut vivisection.
But that would mean Teh Stranger is a plagiarist. Never mind.
“I’m surprised you don’t feel more flattered to be portrayed as heroic, then.”
This is a grave insult to well-meaning geeks and nerds everywhere. This will not stand.
The fact that mikey would LOVE to go on a date with Adorable Girlfriend has surprisingly little to do with the fact that she is adorable.
Although, frankly, if she was Mutant Burn Victim Girlfriend the ardor might be noticeably lower.
But honestly. It’s way more about the “Girlfriend” part than the “Adorable” part.
Honest…
mikey
The number of original arguments in this theme were nicely summed up back at the top, there by noen:
The reason commercials show dad-as-doofus is because it sells. Unless The Stranger is against the free market…
“The Stranger” also posts at Little Zio’s Movies.
Bean-Girl has some issues:
I don’t know but I think that back-ass magazines will survive.
See, this is completely logical.
The only sustainable way to preserve a liberal democracy for future generations is perpetual war.
Peace, as a goal, is wrongheaded and unproductive. Teach your children to hate, to kill, to enslave, to die hard with their guts in the dirt, and the future of america, with her values of “liberty and justice for all” is ensured.
Wait. You don’t suppose there’s something WRONG with that theory, do you?
Nope. Can’t see it…
mikey
Wow! Marxists, Islamofascists AND regular Fascists (not even liberal) to?!? That’s quite a line up of evil. And all to steal my HDTV! If I had one that is. Hey, does that mean that when they do their fascist, according to sharia redistribution of wealth that I’ll be able to get one for free? Better not tear out those ads then…
One-Adam-12, see the man, possible Posting While Drunk . . . .
This reads like a college kid who isn’t getting any with his lame high school moves and it’s all THEIR fault, the bitchez . . . .
Wow. Oh wow.
WTF is he talking about? That there’s nothing on TV showing women in submissive roles, who’s only purpose of existence is as sex objects? Dude must not be watching much TV. His examples of female empowerment are Sex and “why do we talk about men all the time, Desperate Housewives and Army Wives? I guess all that practice at ignoring reality can seriously affect the way you see things.
I’m sorry, I still can’t get over that the Virgin Ben is getting married. How many times will he have to apologize to his bride on their wedding night? The mind boggles.
Something isn’t adding up here. On the one hand women have all the power over men and yet women are also acting like men. Men, according to this guy, are dorks, losers and victims. If women are acting like men wouldn’t this make them dorks, losers and victims too? Women have all the power and yet “women are the real losers.”
I’m confused.
If he’s not one of those True Forced Loneliness guys, he will be soon.
If he’s not one of those True Forced Loneliness guys, he will be soon.
That can’t be…is it real?
The Stranger must have hated those episodes of Battlestar Galactica with Michelle Forbes as the ballsy Admiral Cain.
“Oh my gosh! A ruthless woman in command of a powerful battle cruiser! It’s the end of the universe as we know it!”
Why is it that in most commercials being shown on TV the man is the goofball, the doofus? In family commercials Dad is the dummy of the household, butt of derision, the one who is lame, who needs to be brought up to speed, often by the kids in the family.
Yes, this is true… but then again when were commercials a reflection on reality? Also, this is only happens in commercials where the man is married. As others pointed above, those commercials are like this because their target audience is the housewife.
Another interesting thing to note about commercials is when they feature a black woman, she’s usually a no-nonsense matriarch who’s either cleverly trying to find a better deal or sees through the guise of someone trying to sucker her (usually her own children or a purveyor of “brand X”). Again, the commercial is aiming toward its demographic.
Hmmm.
Wonder if The Stranger knows “Place in the Sun” starredMontgomery Clift?
According to Clift’s biography written by Patricia Bosworth:
“”Monty had drifted into countless affairs with men and women. It suited his personality to have sex with a variety of partners. After the accident, Monty was often impotent, and sex became less important to him. His deepest commitments were emotional rather than sexual anyway, and reserved for old friends:””
Turn on the TV these days and what you see mostly are strident, angry women.
[Question: Why are men not “strident” when they’re angry?]
MzNicky, I think the ‘man’ equates business attire, a 6-pack and muscular arms on a woman with anger. Strength=rage.
Brandi,
Yikes.
This dork really knows how to telegraph his insecurity.
As George Smiley said, turn off the teevee. This guy should really get out of the house. Is he saying he can’t even find a ‘traditional’ woman at church? Why doesn’t he go to an evangelical church’s singles night or look for a girl on ‘Hannidate’? Such places must be full of non-manly women similiar in temperment & looks to Ann Coulter, bay buchannan, Mary Matlin, Michelle Malkin, et al. they aren’t strident (or angry) at all! if these women are too intimidating for him, may I suggest he peruse a mail order bride catalog? Even he ought to be able to handle one of those women who are only looking for a man who can provide them the financial stability they can’t find in their impoverished 3rd world countries.
Cheeto-munching dork.
I keep on wanting to find a nice joke here in the thread, but it’s all so shockingly sad that it’s just not funny. Normally I’d like to be laughing at these jerks, but… it’s just awful.
I shudder when I think what this guy imagines a “traditional” woman to be.
I really love the fact that he upholds Queen Latifah as proof that he’s into black chicks.
Out of all the women to hold up and say “now there’s a lady who DIGS MEN…”
Nobody tell him. He’ll explode.
If he’s not one of those True Forced Loneliness guys, he will be soon.
I suspect Pastor Swank of authoring that site. That is some “English” that has been tortured, renditioned, and sent on a secret flight to Bulgaria.
Napolean Dynamite wept.
Well, you probably still have a while. It’ll take him at least a week to read the “how-to” book he bought for the occasion.
“Wedding Night for Dummies”?
That can’t be…is it real?
If they’re faking it they’re faking it to a degree that would be crazy in itself.
The big fat guy’s a particular favorite among snarky bastards I know.
Followup: big fat guy’s name is apparently Dwayne Holloway and according to WHOIS lookup the TFL domain name is registered to him.
[Starts to fill out subscription card]
They might, Rabbit. They might.
Completely off topic, but every fucking time I see Dougie fucking Feith (currently on 60 minutes) I want to stave his smirking, ass-cheek-squeezed face in with a three-foot length of one-inch rebar.
God, what a little shit.
I’m largely a pacifist, too. Him and Kristol, though, make me seriously reconsider that stance any time I see them.
Hey, would turning Feith’s head into tomato paste make me one of those manly-men The Stranger is talking about?
I’m convinced this guy calls himself “The Stranger” because he likes to sit on his hand until it goes numb before beating off with it.
I honestly almost did an Edit->Find for the words ‘Asia’ and ‘Japan’ on the original article. It comes one or two arguments away from every wingnut (or proto-wingnut) justification I’ve ever seen for the (Call Said, I’m busting out the Big O) Orientalist Idealization of Asian women as some ideal standard of femininity which American women are not meeting.
Can someone punch this whiny queen right in the cock?
-Emily Post
I’m largely a pacifist, too. Him and Kristol, though, make me seriously reconsider that stance any time I see them.
I wish I could meet Bill Kristol some late night in a dark alley on the South Side of Chicago. Of course, I’d have to bring a jack handle and a tire iron with me – you just never know when someone might have a flat.
I’m convinced this guy calls himself “The Stranger” because he likes to sit on his hand until it goes numb before beating off with it.
Whoa, I never thought of that. Not even when I was a teenager. How about half-strangling yourself while you beat off–has that been tried?
Unless you’re a woman, in which case you’re just another example of the decline of civilization.
No comment on TFL. Even I’m not cruel enough to mock those sorry pathetic idiots.
They must realize that TFL also stands for Total Fucking Loser. They must see or hear it 20 times a day.
Offended by the portrayal of a tv commercial dad as goofy? WTF? Is that even possible? The depths of his insecurity are bottomless.
Also, Virgin Ben is getting married tomorrow? Who gets married on a monday? Or is this another Seb induced time rift?
@Billy Joe, would love to see The Stranger order himself up a bride from the Ukraine and spend the rest of his days getting his ass kicked by her.
Who gets married on a monday?
The marriage was a business decision.
I was upset when I discovered my wife had become one of the New Men, thus relegating me to the role of the woman. But then I realized that, as the woman, I was now the New Man!
Take that, liberal media social engineering agenda!
Will said,
July 7, 2008 at 2:07
Speaking of virgins, Virgin Ben Shapiro is getting married tomorrow. Call him the Virgin Ben while you still can.
Is he marrying Pastor Swank?
real men take it in the ass.
Fact 1: Advertisements are tailored to the show (or type of show) during which they air. This is why Saturday morning cartoons have sugary cereal ads and the Lifetime channel has more than its fair share of Tampax ads.
Fact 2: A common tactic for advertising feminine products (during feminine shows, see #1 above) is to belittle the male character. This is seen mainly in commercials for laundry detergent and other “female” products. It makes female viewers feel better about themselves (and hopefully they will associate this feeling with the advertised product).
Conclusion: “Stranger” must be solely be watching shows intended for the female audience (like Oprah, Ellen, etc.). You don’t see those male-humiliating commercials during Monday Night Football. Why not? Because advertisers know better than to insult their intended audience. In fact, those shows usually feature commercials where not-so-bright (but very young and cute) women fawn all over dorky guys because of the aftershave they use, the beer they drink, or the car they drive. Obviously, Stranger has not watched any shows intended for men in quite some time.
And what does he want? A return to the Reagan years where woman wore blazers with shoulder pads bigger than those used in the NFL? Are these the feminine images or yore he longs for?
“…life force being discriminated against…”
…and polluting the purity of our precious bodily fluids.
And what does he want? A return to the Reagan years,,,
Think ‘Eisenhower’.
Shut up, you insensitive bastard.
Wouldn’t that make him “The Strangler”?
Besides, I don’t think he can afford both the gladiator outfit and the pair of wetsuits.
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=the+stranger
LOL.
sapper said,
July 7, 2008 at 5:38
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=the+stranger
LOL.
This seems to be more information than I needed.
Stay offa my lawn, you durty kidz!
Experience?
.
Experience?
Could be, could be… or they just saw how well it worked to have the State of the Union address featuring one.
Hey, The Stranger is a completely respectable newspaper that employs Dan Savage and some of my friends. DO NOT ASSOCIATE!
It takes a special kind of obliviousness to miss what is actually the norm in popular cultural fiction–nerdy, semi-attractive men married to stunning women. Thank God. I’m not sure what I’d do without Bob Newhart to show me the way.
Advertising, like most other things in this country, is controlled mostly by men. If women really set the cultural agenda, our buddy “The Stranger” wouldn’t know what hit him. The occasional douche commercials during “The View” would be the least of his worries.
My guess is this guy is expressing the dissonance he is feeling from living the Lightning Bolt! Lightning Bolt! lifestyle while having ad libitum access to YouPorn.
He’s worried that all those manly castrating bitchez are going to judge him and find him wanting, just like what happens to those hapless shitheels he identifies with on the TV.
I’ll bet he owns a handgun.
Well, I dunno. Anyone seen The Bill Engvall Show? And it’s true – lack of apostrophes notwithstanding – that no sitcoms emulate Father Knows Best anymore.
From the Arthur’s Viking site Dos and Don’ts for Manly Men:
DO – Have a chew in all night. If a chick hates tobacco she is not worth your time or effort.
wonder how that’s working out for him?
It takes a special kind of obliviousness to miss what is actually the norm in popular cultural fiction–nerdy, semi-attractive men married to stunning women.
and then there’s this guy
Wonder why these wingnut guys don’t ever mention him?
What is that freak talking about? A Place in the Sun is about a man who murders a poor woman who is pregnant with his child so that he can marry a wealthy heiress.
A Place in the Sun, was also based on a novel, An American Tragedy, by Theodore Dreiser, who also wrote a book called Sister Carrie about a Midwestern Girl who makes good in the Big City, and not by being shy, retiring, and scrupulous either.
(Even worse, at first I thought he was talking about the movie Duel In The Sun in which Gregory Peck and Jennifer Jones literally kill each other in a freaking duel in the sun.)
Seriously, I kind of doubt he’s ever actually watched Gone With the Wind. After all, Scarlett was always in trouble with the folks in her social class because she was acting like a man, running her own business and in general being the agressor, marrying men for money and vengeance. And that marital rape scene . . . of course, that’s probably why he thinks they complemented each other.
FFS
I was upset when I discovered my wife had become one of the New Men, thus relegating me to the role of the woman. But then I realized that, as the woman, I was now the New Man!
Hey, that’s pretty neat. We should hook you up to a generator.
real men take it in the ass.
Friend of mine was fond of saying that if God hadn’t meant for men to be occasionally fucked in the ass, he wouldn’t have put the male g-spot (the prostate) up there. He might be onto something.
And I ain’t been laid in three years. Should I worry about snapping and turning into one of these miserable dipsticks soon?
100 Cats was actually me, but I’m digging the 100 Cats nym so much I might just switch to it.
100 Cats is guilty of egregious comma abuse. Maybe I don’t wanna be her after all.
DO – Have a chew in all night. If a chick hates tobacco she is not worth your time or effort.
I once went to the World Champion Tobacco Spitting contest in Neshoba County, Mississippi. It was sorta weird, actually, ’cause they had all different categories like 18-34, juniors, seniors, little kids and, yes, a women’s category. Folks took it seriously, too, and some were even getting warmed up and psyching themselves up for competition. Rednecks are like that.
Anyhow, the women’s division was basically every female competing, from a 13-year-old to a half-dozen Tops dippin’ mawmaws. Years later, I told an entirely different friend from the one mentioned above about all this, including seeing the women with big ol’ dips in their mouths, drawing back and hurling a little gob of brown liquid into a cup 10 feet away. He was intrigued by such a girl, said he, because he figured if she kept that mess in her mouth all day she’d let him put anything in it at night. He was always saying shit like that.
Should I worry about snapping and turning into one of these miserable dipsticks soon?
No, because you’ve actually been laid.
“Gone With the Wind” that’s probably why he thinks they complemented each other.
Umm, part of the deal with “Gone With the Wind” was that Scarlett and Rhett actually didn’t have much in common other than having the hots for each other – over the arc of the story, Rhett first says that he and Scarlett share the same values of “me-first” and being survivors and pragmatic in defiance of the idealism of their peers and the common wisdom of their society, but as it moves forward, he learns that he actually is different than she is and he can’t stand her values. S he gives up Teh Hot Sex, and leaves her. You can belive that her “Tara…tomorrow is another day!” is all about the good earth of hojme, or you can believe that she is the fucking Queen of Denial, but in the end, its just a story about two people who were hot for each other but ended up not liking each other very much.
100 Cats is a pretty good nym.
I was thinking about Lucky Cat.
And – BTW, can I ask? Is “nym” what you young people now call that made-up name we use to sign our posts with?
“Speaking of virgins, Virgin Ben Shapiro is getting married tomorrow.”
So no insulting him on his wedding night. It’s not very often that a man finds the cardboard cut-out of his dreams.
heehee
WOW that was something! Well my two cents say he is shallow and only wants a “hot girl” but doesn’t know that you have to act like they are your ugly little sister to gettum naked. I would also guess that his mom wheres the pants in the family, but now thinks that a womans place is in the kitchen doing what she is told. (like her sitting around at home will pay the bills in the world I live in with us both working we can just make the bills each month) Also he flip-flops on himself at the end about being friends and lovers with women. I mean these are the same people that love rape jokes after all…….. (sigh)
The cry baby shit is old but the right are full of whiners after all.
And – BTW, can I ask? Is “nym” what you young people now call that made-up name we use to sign our posts with?
I think so. I’ve seen it referred to as such. But then again, I’m long into geezerhood and may not be aware of all the proper internet traditions.
You kids get offa my lawn.
Pretty much only women watch television any more. So who knows what goes on in there.
Nobody’s mentioned that he seems to have missed some plot elements in Casablanca too. Sure, Rock and Ilsa love each other. But… Ilsa doesn’t really love her husband, and she didn’t sit around mourning his (exaggerated) death very long before getting together with Rick in Paris, and she was all set to ditch Victor in Casablanca but Rick wouldn’t let her because he knew she’d eventually dump him too out of regret. These are not really exemplary wingnut values, here.
And his example of Gone with the Wind is just ridiculous. Scarlett doesn’t love anybody, she just wants Ashley because he’s the only thing she ever wanted that she didn’t get, and she certainly doesn’t love Rhett, but she does realize that they share a lot of the same (not so good) values. This guy sits around at home all day watching movies and TV and not understand them at all.
what men really need, in the heartland, is for the effete ghost of multicultural feminism to be exorcised out of the American male by a savage rogering, which, in case he finds it unappealing and insufficiently manly, will reaffirm his bedrock manliness. really. a rough, no holes barred prostate-shattering pegging, all the while showing no outward display of enjoyment (or pain, for that would be wimpy and effeminate). then, and only then, will man take his rightful place in the pinnacle of society, after an arduous ritual of sodomized submission that he will have proven NOT to enjoy. if one’s masculinity and respect for tradition is to be beyond any doubt, it should preferably be performed on a weekly basis, so as to prove to his fellow men he does NOT in fact like it in the butt.
Remember Final Fantasy? That chick was totally hot. Even though she was a cartoon. I totally found some websites that had her getting reamed by a ten foot dragon shlong and some manga zombies. That was rad.
My inner geek is annoyed at this.
Brad wrote:
Needs more Tron.
“Yoo-Ess-Uv-Ay” is the most wonderful four-word hyphenation I’ve seen yet that contains no real original root words.
Ahhh, twue wove…
And as part of the larger question, all of the things he says he wants he could have in a relationship with a strong, independent, assertive woman. Umm, if she only didn’t scare him and cause him to piddle all the time.
Stranger’s Mom was a lovely woman, deeply feminine — er, female polarity — who wore high heels and pearls even while doing housework. She always encouraged him to spend more time with his fellows, whether FRPing in the basement or LARPing on the weekends, and she even reassured him that the great (and very *manly*) Mickey Mantle wet his bed until he was practically pubescent. Oh, if only modern women could take Angela Lansbury as a role model instead of Candice Bergen!
He got few comments on his rant, but “Cara” kicked his butt…
“GSD said,
Can someone punch this whiny queen right in the cock?”
I think you need someone with good martial arts training for this.
After all, we are talking about a very small target.
My liege the wenches are growing restless and have growing inyourfaceness. They say we are dolts and worthless. Can we not reclaim the teevee stations to stop them getting all witchy.
Shouldst we burn a couple? Only Dwayne lost the matches and Elmore got to go home soon and he’s driving the war chariot Subaru.
Kthnxby
Stranger apperently wants men to be more like Jimmy Cagney and less like Arthur Lake.
The Stranger (america’s hometown newspaper tm) sponsors a homemade pornography contest. maybe this guy is an aficionado of Gay Zombie Porn
I feel so many of the problems in the country would be solved if we could just create a twenty-four hour TV channel airing only the shows dorky rightwingers want to watch. Then maybe they’d calm the fuck down and stop waging war on the rest of us by voting for sexist, racist, homicidal idiots.
And, yes, Sadly No does have an impressive array of embarrassing nerd pics. This might *seem* like a funny even handy tool for the site, but consider what might happen if you die and your family discovers dozens of picture albums full of this stuff on your hard drive. I’m thinking unmarked grave at best.
You’ll notice that all of Mr. Stranger’s examples of manhood/womanhood so far come from watching television.
To be fair, the chicks in Warcraft are totally empowered too.
my two cents say he is shallow and only wants a “hot girl” but doesn’t know that you have to act like they are your ugly little sister to gettum naked.
Yeah. That other guy sure is shallow.
Candy and g: As a fellow geezerette, I thought “nym” was simply shorthand for “pseudonym.”
Oh, and Red @ 4.45 = TEH WIN.
“modern conservative”, now there is an oxymoron.
Perhaps this Stranger should read Camus “L’étranger”.
But of course conservatives only need one book which tells them everything: the friggin bible.
nym = not your mom
Somehow I doubt that this Stranger’s pistol ever gleamed in the sun. If you know what I mean.
I thought that was the whole point of TV Land. But it would only work if there were a way to completely bar their access to what the rest of the world was watching, listening too, saying and thinking. It isn’t about the things that the fRighties want to watch. It’s about complaining about the things that other people watch. Because … um … because … The Children. Yeah. Won’t somebody think of the children?
So, if women are the new men, who are the new women? Children? Monkeys? Midgets? I need closure, The Stranger.
I’ve mentioned this on here before, but this kind of drivel is not new. My grandfather hates Arsenic and Old Lace because he thinks it makes men look foolish. Yes, my grandfather, who is still alive by the way, wants Frank Capra and Cary Grant to get off his lawn.
When you believe the role of art/entertainment is simply to reinforce your own values, nothing is ever going to be good enough for you.
I spent several hours yesterday lolling about on the couch watching Snapped.so I think the Stranger is lucky not to have a girlfriend. Who wants to go to sleep every night worrying that some crazy bitch is going to shoot you in the head while you’re sleeping?
this kind of drivel is not new
Ancient Greek guys hated Lysistrata, too.
So, if women are the new men, who are the new women? Children? Monkeys? Midgets? I need closure, The Stranger.
Men. The whole thing is just a transparent plea for Hillary Clinton to quit teasing and fuck him up the ass already.
“Mommy” in The Family Circus— a hot conservative MILF!
How do shows or commercials showing smart, attractive women constantly cleaning up, literally and figuratively, after lazy schlub couch potato husbands empower women? “Sure, you’re basically unpaid household help, but you’re secretly superior so revel in it without doing anything about it! BTW, you missed a spot…”
I tell ya, there’s nothing more
creepyenjoyable than to read a bitter winger complain about the state of the dating scene these days. It gets even better when the winger in question puts all the blame on one side (i.e., women) for his lack of success.I dunno. Before I met the lovely woman who is now my wife, I was a bitter moonbat wont to “complain about the state of the dating scene these days” and place “all the blame on one side (i.e. women)” for my lack of success. But the way I figured it, the problem wasn’t that women weren’t acting “feminine” enough but that they didn’t act enough like men.
What kind of man says to a woman “I like you, but not in that way” (well unless she’s ugly or crazy or something). If a woman is hawt, smart, etc., a (straight — pardon the heteronormativeness of this comment) guy might not jump into bed or marriage with her, but he would be perfectly willing to date her, see what she’s like, get to know her, etc. — before deciding “oh, I could never marry her … it just wouldn’t work out”.
But, while I am neither a model of attractiveness or mental health, I don’t think I’m ugly or insane or anything. Yet, I cannot count how many times my clumsy attempts at asking women out were met with “I like you, but not in that way”. It turned out the prejudices of these women were correct as we are now all happily married and it probably wouldn’t have worked for me with anybody but my wife …
But still, the women involved were acting out of prejudice in terms of a man having to have just the right “manly quirks”, ask her out in the right way, etc. And where did they get these ideas? Well, from stereotypes about heterosexual roles in which men are supposed to act a certain way and women are supposed to act in a certain way. Perhaps some of the stereotypes have changed that “women are the new men”, but not all of them … the Henry Higgens in me when I was a bitter, single dood didn’t say women were the new men but rather asked “why can’t a woman be more like a man?”
You mean you wanted a woman to sleep with you, not call, and then drop by three weeks later at midnight?
Christ on a crutch, I pity any woman who might ever get suckered into some sort of relationship with this knuckle-dragger. The long and short of it is that real women are waaaaaay too threatening to this painfully insecure guy’s precarious ego. The only solution is for him to book a ride on the Way-Back Machine to a time when women knew their “place.” Also: someone’s got mom issues, I’m just sayin’.
Newsflash, Hillary dropped out of the race a month ago. No need to bust her balls about having balls, but it is nice to see that your over the Clenis.
Top movie this weekend: Hancock
Opening this week: Hellboy2
Top 3 movies so far in 2008: Indy, Iron Man, Sex & the City
TV.com’s Top 5 shows: Heroes, House, Scrubs, Prison Break, Friends.
Top network primetime telecasts since 2000: 9 Superbowls and the ’07 NFC Championship game.
Incidentally, Tom Cruise’s last 5 movies:
Lions for Lambs, MI3, War of the Worlds, Collateral and The Last Samurai.
Or as the wingtards like to say “why let the facts get in the way of a good argument”. Fucking idiots.
If he’s not one of those True Forced Loneliness guys, he will be soon.
OMG that’s hilarious. Looksism! It’s like the wingnut version of Ampersand. Fucking golden.
well, to be fair, american women ARE a bit of a problem.
More fun. At the end of his crazed rantings he goes all new-age-y with the absolute GRACE of the male and the female energy COMPLEMENTING ONE ANOTHER. Fucking tantric hippie wannabe.
But, get this – his avatar of the hyper-masculinized woman, the image he picks to represent the forces preventing male and female energies harmonizing – is Kali.
well, to be fair, american women ARE a bit of a problem.
Oh? to whom?
The Guess Who.
I’m cracking up at the “what a sexist pig!” comments on the Cagney clip. Ummm… there’s a reason why the movie’s called Public Enemy. Cagney’s character ain’t exactly full of unicorns and candy colored rainbows.
Wow. What a diff 33 years makes.
BTW, needs more cowbell.
Didn’t Bogey walk off into the fog with Claude at the end of Casablanca?
You’re telling me that whiney dudes who watch TV evidently ALL THE TIME, experience difficulty meeting women?!
So, the still-virgin Ben gets married and this guy can’t get a girlfriend. So he’s even LESS a babe-magnet than Virgin Ben! Man, that’s gotta HURT! That’s like being less macho than PeeWee Herman!
Yes, my grandfather, who is still alive by the way, wants Frank Capra and Cary Grant to get off his lawn.
I bet he hates His Girl Friday, too. And yet Cary Grant was the ideal leading man for thirty years despite playing opposite really strong female characters. Mae West, Katherine Hepburn, Rosalind Russell, Eva Marie Saint. . .all playing characters who had jobs and maybe even wore pants sometimes.
Gay Zombie Porn
something else I never needed to know existed, along with clown p0rn and furries. thanks Internet!
But still, the women involved were acting out of prejudice in terms of a man having to have just the right “manly quirks”, ask her out in the right way, etc.
Um, sorry to burst your bubble, but no one is obligated to be attracted to and go out with you, no matter how “not ugly and insane” you think you are. Women get rejected too, and not just unattractive women, either, no matter what fantasy world you’ve conjured up for yourself.
Rule 34
The pictures on this page are poorly laid out — they bump up right against the text. Is it just me?
I always wondered who would be fool enough to buy something from a spam Viagra ad.
I wonder how The Stranger feels about My Fair Lady? True you have superior male brains making a coarse Cockney lass into a real lady but the protaganist also asks why a woman can’t be more like a man.
This is how women should behave in movies. Catering to a man’s every need, and worshipping the ground he walks on. </The Stranger>
What kind of man says to a woman “I like you, but not in that way” (well unless she’s ugly or crazy or something). If a woman is hawt, smart, etc., a…guy … would be perfectly willing to date her… I cannot count how many times my clumsy attempts at asking women out were met with “I like you, but not in that way”. …the women involved were acting out of prejudice in terms of a man having to have just the right “manly quirks”, ask her out in the right way, etc
So, to recap: As long as a woman is “hawt” and smart, you’re willing to date her. However, a woman declining to date you, a self-described non-model of “attractiveness or mental health,” indicates stereotypical prejudice on her part. Got it.
Women get rejected too, and not just unattractive women, either, no matter what fantasy world you’ve conjured up for yourself. – unrelatedwaffle
There are two things that help build up a wonderfully unhealthy sense of entitlement in the Nice Guy(TM). One is that (e.g. in high school) everybody tells the budding Nice Guy(TM) that “you’re smart, your not unattractive and your nice … maybe the girls you know now aren’t interested, but once you get to [e.g.] college, the young women there will go for you because you are nice, and smart, etc.”. The other thing is that every single Nice Gal(TM) said Nice Guy(TM) knows is going out with someone — maybe they’ve been rejected, but their rejection rate is 100%. Occassional rejection is one thing. But 100% rejection is another: how many “nice” women get rejected by 100% of the men they make a play for (vs. how many “nice” men get rejected by 100% of women)?
Also, rejection means something different if you kinda flirt with someone but they don’t ask you out (you can always convince yourself that they didn’t get the message) than if you ask someone out and they say “you’re a nice guy and all … and I like you, but not in ‘that’ way”.
Of course, I fail to see how woman acting even less like men would solve this problem. I’m with Henry Higgens on this 😉
*
As to MzNicky’s point … I was referring back to my college and grad school days where about 99% of the woman you meet are hawt and smart. I’m no looker, but I’m sure I’m not in the bottom 1% of males looks-wise. There may be a double standard here in terms of me saying “I’ll date a woman who is hawt and smart … and I would expect a woman to date me”. But, if you grade on the curve, what I claim is entirely fair.
So, to recap: As long as a woman is “hawt” and smart, you’re willing to date her. However, a woman declining to date you, a self-described non-model of “attractiveness or mental health,” indicates stereotypical prejudice on her part. Got it.
Also, the notion that guys are incapable of declining dates with smart hawt women is pretty dumb too. What if you’re already in a committed relationship, what if she’s not your type (e.g. you’re a wingtard and pathologically afraid of assertive women), what if you’re currently obsessing over some other girl, what if you’re gay, what if you just got out of a horror story of a relationship and aren’t ready for another one, what if you just have problems with any type of commitment, what if you have self-esteem issues and can’t believe that the girl is being serious, what if your self-esteem issues run the other way – and you know that you can do a lot better?
What if you just don’t like her in that way?
What if she’s a Yankees fan?
After rinsing the sauerkraut out of her breath and justbefore scraping the crust from her eyes, K-Lo continues her roll by offering this nugget:
McCain-Bennett 2008 [Kathryn Jean Lopez]
That’s Bennett as in Bill Bennett.
Yes, with K-Lo overseeing the ship and Jonah and VDH back in town today, NRO continues its quest to out-Onion The Onion.
And it’s only Monday morning folks.
As for myself, I prefer VAWTs over HAWTs for rooftops. Wait, what were we talking about again?
Bayville-
As I’ve said, I’ve just about lost the ability to mock K-Lo. She’s gotten to the point where she just breaks my heart.
That’s right, ladies, I’m a Nice Guy(TM, patent pending, void in Tennessee)! Who wants some of this?
(just kidding, married)
Dragon-King Wangchuck,
What if you’re already in a committed relationship
I should have prefaced this that I was talking about single, uncommitted guys.
what if she’s not your type (e.g. you’re a wingtard and pathologically afraid of assertive women)
Wingtards aren’t “real men”. That’s why they doth protest too much 😉
what if you’re currently obsessing over some other girl
Then you’ll definitely go out with the hawt, smart girl just to “get back at” that other girl (*).
what if you’re gay
I did preface my (hopefully reformed) NiceGuy(TM) rant with an apology for its heterocentricity.
what if you just got out of a horror story of a relationship and aren’t ready for another one
See (*) above.
what if you just have problems with any type of commitment
That’s a related issue — people nowadays don’t get the idea of dating. Contrary to what some people seem to think (this belief was endemic where I went to undergrad … because many of the students came from cultures in which dating didn’t exist) that “to date is to marry”. It’s just a date … so why would you say no?
what if you have self-esteem issues and can’t believe that the girl is being serious, what if your self-esteem issues run the other way – and you know that you can do a lot better?
Both have happened to me … but on the rare occassion where the woman asked me out I still said “ok” even if something else was going on and I suspected as much (girl needed a “merkin”, girl was seeing who else was out there while “on a break” from long term bf). As to the other side … only once or twice did I figure I could do better (although, relationship-wise, I ended up doing better beyond my wildest dreams).
What if you just don’t like her in that way?
I know guys who indicate that but because they were extremely picky about looks and really did not find the woman in question attractive … or they were gay and didn’t realize it about themselves yet.
What if she’s a Yankees fan?
Ok … you’re right. I’m wrong. There are reasons why a guy would reject the advances of a gal he thought was hawt and smart. Although one could argue that if she’s a Yankees fan, she can’t be all that bright, can she? 😉
Actually, I know a couple in a mixed marriage. He’s a Mets fan, she’s a Yankees fan. Amazingly, it can work out!
Also, rejection means something different if you kinda flirt with someone but they don’t ask you out (you can always convince yourself that they didn’t get the message) than if you ask someone out and they say “you’re a nice guy and all … and I like you, but not in ‘that’ way”.
So you’re saying the latter never happens to women? Women do ask men out, it is the 21st century, and you don’t have to ask someone out to have them give you the “just friends” speech.
But 100% rejection is another: how many “nice” women get rejected by 100% of the men they make a play for (vs. how many “nice” men get rejected by 100% of women)?
Holy cats, Batman, it’s Spurious Statistics Man! I’d say given the population of the United States is about 51% female, and if 84.8% of them are “nice” vs. 23.1% of men that are “nice,” then no nice men are getting laid ever, anytime, and it’s all because those women are too durn picky, and can’t they put on some makeup and a skirt once in a while?
Wow. Even though I am familiar witgh all internet traditions including Rule 34 and associated lemmas, corollaries and whatnot, I ran across a site that is so pathetically funny (and tragically sad) that I have to share it with you. (SFW at first glance but I couldn’t force myself to look at very much of it)
Stumbling across it while browsing this post and commentary seems an eerie bit of synchronicity. To me, anyway.
You know, the idea that a woman needs a man to complete her is a pretty outdated relic of a less enlightened age. Sure there are remnants of it still around – people who constantly harp at their daughters for grandkids for example.
What if, you are a straight, nice guy, not drop-dead gorgeous but not hideously deformed either, that just isn’t interested in female companionship at the moment? If it’s okay for women not to be constantly hunting for a husband, it’s okay for guys not to be constantly hunting for a quick lay (just exaggerating the stereotypes). There are plenty of people who just don’t want that kind of relationship, and I don’t think that that makes them broken in any sense.
As for myself, I prefer VAWTs over HAWTs for rooftops. Wait, what were we talking about again?
But what do you prefer on Obama’s head?
PeeJ,
Thanks! I’ve been looking for a clearinghouse of “just because I like sucking cock, that doesn’t make me gay” information. It’s for a, uh, friend.
PeeJ said,
July 7, 2008 at 18:18
I saw this on Wiki the other day—is it like self-hating homos but without the religion? (I can’t really look right now, I have eyes on my screen)
Feh. For realself-hating homos without the religion, none compares with gaypatriot.org–“the internet home for the gay conservative”.
I ran across a site that is so pathetically funny (and tragically sad) that I have to share it with you. – PeeJ
For a moment (due to the URL), I thought this site was some sort of site for people who have a fetish for non-Jews.
Women do ask men out, it is the 21st century – unrelatedwaffle
21st Century not available in certain states and localities including Orange County, CA.
(alas, thanks to shows like “The OC” people have really, really mistaken view as to what the real “OC” is actually like).
—is it like self-hating homos but without the religion?
It’s not like, it is. Seems as long as you don’t do teh buttseks, it’s not gay. Who knew?
Contrary to what some people seem to think (this belief was endemic where I went to undergrad … because many of the students came from cultures in which dating didn’t exist) that “to date is to marry”. It’s just a date … so why would you say no?
I think you are just going to have to accept that it is an individual choice. Every single time. There is never a social obligation to spend an evening with someone if you don’t think that it is worth your time.
If gay-sex = anal-sex then
gay community = anal community
But that’s not the buff guys in the buff on the parade float. An anal community is a group of people who feel the need to add “(spelled with a zer0)” a hundred times per page.
Sorry, when I read that again, it sounded really harsh. I still don’t think that a person can be socially obligated into dating.
I trust his handle bears no relation to A. “French Sissy Surrender Monkey” Camus’ L’Etranger.
It fuckin’ better not–that’s my favorite novel. It’s already suffered the indignity of having Bush pretend to have read it; there’s no need for this loser to pile on.
The fact is, haha, eat it, libs:
http://www.lasvegassun.com/news/2008/jul/05/ap-exclusive-us-removes-uranium-from-iraq/
http://www.lasvegassun.com/news/2008/jul/05/ap-exclusive-us-removes-uranium-from-iraq/
RB, you are too kind cutting the quote off there.
I was busy not being gay by sucking a lotta cock.
Speaking of sucking a lotta cock to distance yourself from all the gayness – there’s a g0y terrorism link!
Whooo! It’s the fucking A-rabs thay are the white supremacists!
Oh, and the cartoon strip thing? I can’t believe they actually managed to make Garfield less funny.
Note: thay = that. Thus thay-secks is that-secks.
Also eatin’ ain’t cheatin.
Also eatin’ ain’t cheatin.
Unless you’re Clenis.
Next, on the Lifetime Movie Network: “Mother, May I Sleep With Stranger?” A heroic, harrowing tale of one woman’s quest to mercy fuck a guy in order to spare the rest of womanhood from hearing his stupid-ass whining.
Also eatin’ ain’t cheatin.
Um, neither, I believe, is beatin’…
mikey
There once was a man from Bombay
Who sat slurping at nut-sacks all day
He said “Mmph mmph mmph mmph
“Mmph mmph mmph mmph mmph mmph
“Mmph mmph mmph mmph mmph mmph I’m not gay!”
Actually, I know a couple in a mixed marriage. He’s a Mets fan, she’s a Yankees fan.
But what about the children? Will no one think of the children?!
Just so we’re clear – any youthful indiscretions I may have had with members of the opposite sex do not in any way make me a heterosexual. I will set up a webpage if I have to.
The English Patient….fruity……egads! I love that movie! what does this say about me!?!? I guess I need to go get fitted for my ArchMage costume. Shit, and I had a date tonight. Great post y’all. I don’t read Sadly, no! to feel better about myself, per se, but it almost never fails. Thanks.
Teh Stranger’s analysis fails to recognize that television commercials and the shows that fill up the time between them are created by men for the purpose of attacting the household spending decision-maker. So, teh stranger makes the classic error of being bewitched by the feminized superstructure while failing to see the underlying masculinist deep structure.
Hint to teh stranger: follow the money and for god sakes stop watching so much teevee.
In the West, government may consider using the same body of laws against such fundamentalists as was used in the 19th century against another group that spread terror in the name of a religious ideology: The KKK
Umm…in what universe did the government prosecute the KKK in the 19th century?
…and like all shows on Lifetime, the lead female character either gets killed or kills someone else. I’m thinking it will be the latter.
I’d call him a douchebag but he would accuse me of “feminizing” him.
So I’ll stick with Brad and say he’s just a bitter virgin and there’s no mystery why.
Maybe we could hook up K-Lo and The Stranger. They could both watch george bush’s codpiece and maybe work enough excitement between the two of them for some mutual masturbation?
Wow. That’s a really ugly image. Sorry.
I’m wondering how little contact with women someone must have had to form such opinions.
Maybe we could hook up K-Lo and The Stranger. They could both watch george bush’s codpiece and maybe work enough excitement between the two of them for some mutual masturbation?
Truly a Todd Solondz moment.
Umm…in what universe did the government prosecute the KKK in the 19th century?
In the magical Universe of totally-not-gay cocksucking!
Let me truncate the previous quote to extract the maximum stupidity:
Yup, it’s teh mooslem-hadeen that’s all filled with hate and not the g0y-b0yz at all. Those guys that are into other guys except for the arsephucking are totally rational and hold reason as the highest of all qualities, except for maybe lack of a gag reflex.
Just so we’re clear – any youthful indiscretions I may have had with members of the opposite sex do not in any way make me a heterosexual. I will set up a webpage if I have to.
Lots of graphics please. Also I have some spare blink tags lying around.
But back to The Stranger:
Hey if acting like a guy is the ticket to loser-dom, maybe The Stranger should act more like the delicate fairy princesses that he wants women to be. Oh wait, he is. Well played you passive-aggresive nagging overly-sensitive-because-it’s-that-time-of-month New-Age flake. Now get me a beer.
I would like some more photos of gladiators, please.
Might you have anything in your files of Fabio?
Umm…in what universe did the government prosecute the KKK in the 19th century?
Actually the Grant administration cracked down on the Klan during Reconstruction, using federal troops and federal juries.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Civil_Rights_Act_of_1871
The claim that the Klan was a religious terrorist group is a stretch though, to put it mildly……
Okay, maybe someone here’s willing to listen to some George Strait and can tell me WTF he’s talking about. Here’s the chorus of his male-female unity song:
Or IOW:“They are women, hear them roar” …“They are powerful women who don’t need a man” blah, blah, blah.
Also I have some spare blink tags lying around.
Don’t do it, pedestrian, they’re WELL-USED, iykwimaityd…
Perhaps he thought Strait was talking about the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders…. I’m sure Stranger “admires” them greatly every Sunday afternoon in front of his teevee.
Woohoo! The Stranger is actually a sort of sub-blogger over at the Modern Conservative. The real show is Christopher Cook, and man, it’s a shame NWOTW was already given out. Here’s a piece that I’m sure will warm the cockles of your – um – whatever cockles are associated with:
It’s just a date … so why would you say no?
Because you’re pretty sure, from previous interactions, that it would bore or irritate or embarrass you to spend several of your precious free hours with someone you really DON’T like — and could never envision yourself liking — in “that way.”
For all men’s talk about how they’d just like to spend some time “getting to know” a woman, there is always a sexual interest…or the guy’d never ask a given woman out in the first place. If you ask someone out, it’s a declaration of romantic interest, and going on a date is acquiescing to that courtship, or at least acknowledging and essentially encouraging your sexual/romantic interest. I can’t think of any woman who would want to do that when she feels no sexual/romantic attraction to you whatsoever.
Face it, women are harder to attract than they are attractive.
Wow, a perefect description of “liberal Fascism” for the inhabiatnts of Bizzaro World
I kind of assumed the Klan fell apart before the Feds had a chance to go after them in the 19th century.
The Klan did become a religious terrorist group, in a way, but this was after their resurrection in 1915. The original Klan only targeted blacks and carpetbaggers, whereas their reincarnation pretty much targeted anyone who wasn’t a WASP.
Real men don’t wear gladiator outfits. Here in the Heartland, they carry fully erect M1A1 Battle Rifles™, ready to do battle with the Islamosexual terraists (who have built a loose alliance with the rabid pelicans AND badgers), right here in the USA of America.
liberal historical revisionism on the subject of what fascism was and is.
LIBERAL historical revisionism? Cheese Louise on Pumpernickel.
Stop the world I wanna get offf.
liberal historical revisionism on the subject of what fascism was and is.
Yes… like all those “liberals” who documented the history of fascism right when it was happening.
From the Stupid And Evil Get More Stupid and More Evil Department, Rush Limbaugh Division:
“The A.M. radio host will be paid about $400 million to continue serving up his daily dose of conservative patter through 2016. His $50 million a year paycheck represents a raise of about $14.4 million a year over his current contract, which was paying him $285 million over eight years and was set to expire in 2009.”
From his website:
“America’s Truth Detector; the Doctor of Democracy; the Most Dangerous Man in America; the All-Knowing, All-Sensing, All-Everything Maha Rushie; defender of motherhood, protector of fatherhood and an all-around good guy.”
What they meant was “America’s Serial Lair, the Doctor of Deceit, the Least Credible Man in America; Non-Knowing, Non-Sensing, Non-Anything Dipshit Rushie; single, thrice-divorced adulterer, never had kids and an all-around good guy to his drug mules and underage sex slaves.”
Fixed.
What if, you are a straight, nice guy, not drop-dead gorgeous but not hideously deformed either, that just isn’t interested in female companionship at the moment? If it’s okay for women not to be constantly hunting for a husband, it’s okay for guys not to be constantly hunting for a quick lay (just exaggerating the stereotypes). There are plenty of people who just don’t want that kind of relationship, and I don’t think that that makes them broken in any sense.
This thinking makes no sense to self-proclaimed Nice Guys. They judge everyone else by their own motives, and see their point of view as the only possible one. They’re like starving men who can’t understand why another person would turn down a huge steak, because if they’re starving, no one else has already eaten.
Face it, women are harder to attract than they are attractive. – Julia Grey
And it’s this dichotomy that drives many a Nice Guy(TM) up the wall. A Nice Guy(TM) doesn’t just (or at least this Nice Guy(TM) didn’t just) have a sense of male entitlement; there was also a sense of envy at what the vast majority of his female peers had: the ability to actually attract members of the opposite sex. From the Nice Guy(TM)’s point of view, part of what’s so unfair is the ease by which Nice Gals(TM) can attract men compared to the difficulties a Nice Guy(TM) has.
And did Junk Science just mention steak? I wouldn’t turn down steak 🙂 Actually, there are ethical arguments based on the converse of that observation: you shouldn’t turn down a steak even if you are not particularly hungry because if you turn down a steak, then you might come to think even a starving man would turn down a steak. As the saying goes “if a rich man decides he can survive without meat, he’ll soon think a poor man can survive on stones”.
Although he has no kids, Rush isn’t fixed to my knowledge. That is a wonderful idea, though. Where’s my gardening shears…
I’m a bit lost with that “steak” analogy.
They’re like starving men who can’t understand why another person would turn down a huge steak, because if they’re starving, no one else has already eaten.
By a similar twist of logic, the wine and cheese are complimentary, unless you look too hungry; then your bum ass is out on the street.
This thinking makes no sense to self-proclaimed Nice Guys. They judge everyone else by their own motives, and see their point of view as the only possible one. They’re like starving men who can’t understand why another person would turn down a huge steak, because if they’re starving, no one else has already eaten.
Speaking of Nice Guy motives, if you’re hanging around being nice to some chick, in the hopes that she’ll suddenly see the light and realize how great you are – that’s acting like a deceitful shitbag. If you’re interested, tell her – if she isn’t then move on. It’s not like lying to her constantly about your motives is “nice” behavior.
For balance – all you bitches that have some sort of weird thing for guys who are definitely not good for you – STFU about how bad you get treated and how there are no nice guys out there. It’s not the bad boys that have a problem with commitment, it’s the women who are picking outrageously inappropriate partners. Admit to yourself that you need the drama more than the relationship, and then please don’t inflict your suffering on others. That type of behavior is way too similar to exhibitionist who flash unsuspecting passers-by.
Maybe someone needs to tell both Teh Stranger and DAS that neediness is only attractive to users. I’ve been out of the market for several millenia, but I do remember the rule of thumb that you should never do anything to get laid that you’d find sexually off-putting in someone trying to get into your… good graces.
You know, comsympinko, I never realized before how much money that fat bag of shit is actually paid. I never really thought about it, I guess. It simply enrages me that this worse than worthless detriment to humanity is raking in that kind of money while Katrina survivors are still homeless, people in Iowa may never be able to live in their homes again, students struggle under crushing debt loads, and, say hey and by the way, people are still fucking dying in our glorious freedom initiative in Iraq. It’s disgusting. It’s vile in the truest sense of the word.
For balance – all you bitches that have some sort of weird thing for guys who are definitely not good for you
Speaking as a veteran of the stripper, the dealer, the singer and the Satanist I’d like to say that it ain’t just the ladies who have foolish ideas about what a decent relationship might be like. See references for more.
Speaking as a veteran of the stripper, the dealer, the singer and the Satanist I’d like to say that it ain’t just the ladies who have foolish ideas about what a decent relationship might be like. See references for more.
Absolutely, and it’s not just Nice Guys that pretend like they only interested in friendship with the person they’re having sex dreams about.
Especially when everyone knows the ONLY movie made about True Love was the Princess Bride…
For balance – all you bitches that have some sort of weird thing for guys who are definitely not good for you – STFU about how bad you get treated and how there are no nice guys out there. It’s not the bad boys that have a problem with commitment, it’s the women who are picking outrageously inappropriate partners. Admit to yourself that you need the drama more than the relationship, and then please don’t inflict your suffering on others.
To get all sociological, a lot of women are raised to believe that the only way Nice Girls should get an adrenaline rush is from dating deeply inappropriate partners. All the stupid hormone-highs male adolescents got from substance abuse, insanely risky stunts, misuse of machinery and aggressive posturing at other gangs of young males — the stuff of the old joke about the four most dangerous words out of a redneck’s mouth being “Hey, y’all — watch this!” — their sisters were supposed to get from a close personal involvement with someone addicted to substance abuse, insanely risky stunts, the misuse of machinery & aggressive posturing. Those Drama-Seeking Human Missles as the female equivalent of Evel Knievel, except that *some* percentage of them can be re-trained (will eventually re-train themselves) to find safer, less anti-social methods of getting their kicks, just as most (well, some) arsehole adolescent males eventually outgrow their Saturday-night’s-alright-for-fighting fixation.
For balance – all you bitches that have some sort of weird thing for guys who are definitely not good for you – STFU about how bad you get treated and how there are no nice guys out there.
I don’t see the “balance” in equating women who are being abused by their partners and men who whine about how hard it is to get laid. Abusive pricks don’t always reveal themselves as such until you’re too far in with them to get out easily. Blaming the victim isn’t going to help anything, and it certainly isn’t going to route more pussy to the kind of guys who blame abused women for choosing to date assholes instead of “nice guys.” If you feel that you have to choose between abusive assholes and guys who tell you you’re a bitch who got what you deserved by dating someone who wasn’t them, it’s easy to see how you can decide there really are “no nice guys out there.”
Maybe someone needs to tell both Teh Stranger and DAS that neediness is only attractive to users.
What’s great about most of these guys is that if someone really did ask them out, they’d decide she was a desperate loser and definitely beneath them. It’s only the 99% of women who won’t spit in their direction who are worth their time.
Absolutely, and it’s not just Nice Guys that pretend like they only interested in friendship with the person they’re having sex dreams about.
See Hag, Fag
Especially when everyone knows the ONLY movie made about True Love was the Princess Bride…
And wuv, tru wuv, will fowow you foweva… So tweasure your wuv.
Hey Mr. Stranger,
I think the only kind of woman that you are looking for belong to polygamist cults. Why don’t you go join one? They are all white supremesists, too.
You JACKOFF!!
What’s great about most of these guys is that if someone really did ask them out, they’d decide she was a desperate loser and definitely beneath them.
These are the same guys who go to the meat market type of bar and hit on women who are hopelessly out of their league, looks-wise, and ignore the chubby or otherwise less attractive women who might just be interested in them . . . well, if the guy has a personality, anyway.
I’ve had this happen to me at a bar, both as the better looking of a pair of friends at a table and as the less good looking friend. Believe me, men who do this, come over the table and start hustling you and offering to buy you drinks and meantime acting like your friend doesn’t exist do not endear themselves to either woman. If you can’t treat my friend with respect then fuck you. I don’t want to know you.
Invariably, these are the type of men who complain about how nice guys finish last.
I don’t see the “balance” in equating women who are being abused by their partners and men who whine about how hard it is to get laid. Abusive pricks don’t always reveal themselves as such until you’re too far in with them to get out easily. Blaming the victim isn’t going to help anything, and it certainly isn’t going to route more pussy to the kind of guys who blame abused women for choosing to date assholes instead of “nice guys.” If you feel that you have to choose between abusive assholes and guys who tell you you’re a bitch who got what you deserved by dating someone who wasn’t them, it’s easy to see how you can decide there really are “no nice guys out there.”
Okay. I was harsh, and there are absolutely women who were taken in by deceitful scumbags – calling those women bitches is way out of line and you are bang on for calling me on it.
But that isn’t the group I’m talking about. I’m talking about women who are only interested in shitbags. You know that grade A self-absorbed sociopath, calls his wife a trollop-y cunt, that type? Always has women fawning over him. Why? Some women are stupid bitches. I’d also like to say at this point, they have a right to be stupid bitches. If that’s what turns them on, well it’s not like they’re trying to fuck children or animals. My problem is when they start pissing and moaning about how shitty guys are. I know that’s part of what gets them off, the whole – pity poor me. Well, that should not be considered socially acceptable behavior. It’s dragooning others into your personal sexual gratification. If you can see that the asshole is an asshole, and you’ve strength enough to whine about it – DTMFA.
STFU about how bad you get treated and how there are no nice guys out there. It’s not the bad boys that have a problem with commitment, it’s the women who are picking outrageously inappropriate partners. Admit to yourself that you need the drama more than the relationship – Dragon-King Wangchuck
Actually part of the problem with Nice Guys(TM) (I know I had this problem when I was a Nice Guy(TM)) is that we tend to go for Nice Gals(TM). Most women don’t have these issues. It’s the Nice Gals(TM) that have this problem about “picking inappropriate mates” … because fundamentally they are the same as Nice Guys(TM) in that they are very passive-aggressive about establishing relationships.
Except, due to gender roles in heterosexual dating (pace unrelatedwaffle and The Stranger, sex roles in establishing dating relationships are sadly alive and well), what happens next plays out differently for the men and for the women (at least in the straight community … I have no idea what happens in the gay dating scene and am actually somewhat curious as to how Nice Guy/Gal(TM)-ness plays out there).
The passive-aggressive man is too passive to actually ask gals out, so he tries to “become friends first” and ends up “acting like a deceitful shitbag” (for the reasons you point out) which drives away the women in question. OTOH, the passive-aggressive woman is too passive to assert herself and ask guys out but tries to get out her aggressions second-hand, ending up with aggressive jerks (as pointed out by Anne Laurie).
And then the Nice Gal(TM) asks “where all the nice guys have gone” whilst the Nice Guy(TM) wonders why nice gals won’t go out with him. The Nice Gal(TM) would do well to answer her question by thinking about “that nice guy whose a good friend, but I kinda suspect he’s somewhat of a deceitful shitbag who’s really after getting into my pants” whilst the Nice Guy(TM) might consider how much he’s fallen into the trap of Nice Guy(TM) entitlement.
Good god, why do we have sex with humans at all? They’re idiots.
What’s great about most of these guys is that if someone really did ask them out, they’d decide she was a desperate loser and definitely beneath them. It’s only the 99% of women who won’t spit in their direction who are worth their time. – junk science
I can think of about 4 times (up until I met the woman who is now my wife) where a woman showed obvious and not merely passing interest in me. The first time was a lesbian looking for a “merkin” (although she was very clear that, should she not find Ms. Right, she’d see if she about giving men a try again and upgrading her merkin to merkin with benefits, shall we say). The second time was a woman who was on a break from her boyfriend and playing the field, and I stumbled out there. The third time was someone with whom young lady #2 set me up after she decided to go back to her bf. The fourth time was someone who contacted me from a single’s site.
I did not think women #1 or #2 were desparate loosers or beneath me. In cases #3 and #4, I did develop an appreciation for how it felt to be in the situation of saying “I like you, but not in that way”, which presumably helped give me empathy toward being on the other end — being a rejector — and probably did help me grow out of Nice-Guy-ness. However, it also “confirmed” my worst suspicions as to what that phrase met — because the women involved were indeed, I felt, “beneath me” … and did that mean that I was beneath 99% of woman socially?
OTOH and FWIW, once I was well under way in growing out of Nice Guy(TM)-ness, I did end up finding someone far better than even woman #2 who was, in many ways, quite a catch. So I guess Anne Laurie has a point about whom neediness attracts (and conversely about whom neediness repells).
Good god, why do we have sex with humans at all? They’re idiots.
I actually reached that conclusion and didn’t for about four years. I have to say I didn’t miss it at all. Ironically, I met my current partner when I was no longer looking. But honestly, I think most people would be far better off if they’d forget about sex and start looking for a friend they could live with, if they just can’t stand to be alone. Me, I didn’t mind being alone. It’s a lot less complicated and you don’t have someone else using your bathroom.
I live alone.
No partner. No spouse. Not kids. No pets. No potted plants.
Once I figured out that the one thing I most certainly DIDN’T want was a “relationship”, with all it entails, then it was just a matter of getting a little older.
Now all the women I see are either divorced and independent and don’t want a “relationship” either, or married and can’t have one (with me).
It’s perfect. We have our dates, we have our moments of passion, and we have our lives.
It isn’t all downhill when you start to get old…
mikey
I have to note that I was a single parent, which of course causes all sorts of complications. Lots of guys out there for whom that is a problem. As you get older, if you won’t date women or men who come with baggage, it really narrows the field. Also, as a parent, if you’re a good or even halfway decent parent, it makes taking a chance a daunting proposition.
The passive-aggressive man is too passive to actually ask gals out, so he tries to “become friends first” and ends up “acting like a deceitful shitbag” (for the reasons you point out) which drives away the women in question.
I must admit that this describes my early dating behavior to a T.
My two actual sexual relationships have not started by my choice. Once I agreed to be roommates with a very attractive young woman. The ‘roommates’ part didn’t last very long, and we both felt a lot of relief when we finally decided to jump each other’s bones. Separately, we had both been fantasizing for months. My current girlfreind, on the other hand, simply took the initiative in our dating, and I decided I was OK with it.
So there are ways out of seemingly intractible Nice Guy™ issues. I’m sure there are ways out of hard-core Nice Gal™ habits as well.
All of you liberals need a good slap in the face.
All of you liberals need a good slap in the face.
With what?
What’s this, a serious conversation? ::shudder::
Are you sure this isn’t a parody? He claims to have seen “Gone With the Wind”(1939) and “Casablanca”(1942) in the theatre. Wouldn’t that make him about 90?
Actually given that not one of the movies he listed could be seen as a traditional love story involving a man and woman who complimented each other, I don’t think he saw ANY of them at all. I think he pulled random titles out of his ass.
As for Virgin Ben, well, I’m a bit surprised that any woman who’s read his column could contemplate spending the rest of her life waking up next to his whiny ass, but I guess that means there’s someone for everyone(provided they don’t look like a troll). Maybe the long-held theory that once he finally has sex, he’ll stop being such a smug, clueless little prick will prove correct.
We can only hope…
I must admit that this describes my early dating behavior to a T.
Mine too. My Nice-Guy™ness was further compounded by the fact that a) I was raised in a very socially strict family / community, so my ideas about “courtship” were outdated and weird and b) I had no goddam ability to read social signals. At all. I found out much too late in a few cases that I’d had fairly clear passes made at me which I failed to recognize. I also kept pestering women who weren’t into me but who were too tactful to spell it out in a way I could understand. I never got stalkery but in retrospect I know I annoyed the hell out of a few of them.
I too have had the most success with assertive women who took the initiative, though I did finally learn how to recognize which women were interested in me and how to interact with them. Short of their bashing me over the head and dragging me into their cave, so to speak.
I wish I could figure out some way to express what I’ve learned to the current crop of young Nice Guys™ – but if they’re like I was they wouldn’t comprehend the advice even if they could be bothered to listen.
With what?
What do you think?
Will said,
July 7, 2008 at 2:07
Speaking of virgins, Virgin Ben Shapiro is getting married tomorrow. Call him the Virgin Ben while you still can.
—————————-
The virgin Connie Swail?
I kind of assumed the Klan fell apart before the Feds had a chance to go after them in the 19th century.
In the late 19th and early 20th centuries various southern “heritage” groups waged a long (and successful) campaign to erase “Yankee bias” from schoolbooks, including the fact that the federal government stepped in to crush the KKK and protect southern blacks. Can’t be thinking that the anti-Klan act set a precident that might endanger Jim Crow laws…
From my defacto defunct blog: Do Women Prefer Bad Boys?
Why do we have sex with humans at all?
Would you rather be a robot-lover like The Ole Perfesser?
I wish I could figure out some way to express what I’ve learned to the current crop of young Nice Guys™ – but if they’re like I was they wouldn’t comprehend the advice even if they could be bothered to listen.
Teach romance a class at your local adult ed. center?
Short of that, or having kids, I don’t really see how either.
Would you rather be a robot-lover like The Ole Perfesser?
Do vehicles count?
Very interesting post Julia. May I ask, what was that graphic at the top from? An old painting?
Teach romance a class at your local adult ed. center? Short of that, or having kids, I don’t really see how either.
Heh. I doubt I’d be qualified to teach a romance class, but I’d do better at that than Gee Dumbya would as a high school history teacher.
Oh well. If an opportunity presents itself, maybe I can save some young dipshit like I used to be some grief. But I guess it’s one of those things that people have to learn, or not, according to their abilities and circumstances. I feel like I was lucky to catch whatever fraction of a clue I did – my brother, though now married these 15 years, never outgrew it. He’s still pissed at the women who turned him down when he was young.
But knowing what I used to be like makes my laughter at bitter wingnut virgins a bit strained. Not that I don’t laugh.
But knowing what I used to be like makes my laughter at bitter wingnut virgins a bit strained. Not that I don’t laugh.
Yes, It’s a bit hard for me to laugh at anti-social, fantasy-role-playing-obsessed nerds, myself.
Although, the gob-smacking self pity of many of the people profiled on this site does tend to help the humor factor.
I need someone to define “Nice Guy” for me. I’m getting that uncomfortable ol’ binary feeling here. “Bad Boys” vs. “Nice Guys”? What is that about?
“Bad Boys” vs. “Nice Guys”?
Well, maybe, but I don’t think it was intended that way. To me, “Nice Guys™”, and “Nice Gals™” were more descriptions of a certain syndrome that afflicts some people.
“Bad Boys” vs. “Nice Guys”?
It’s not binary: the Nice Guys are the passive-aggressive knobs who think they’re the polar opposites of the Bad Boys but are simply manipulating in different ways.
MzNicky—
I can’t claim to be an expert on it, in fact, I had never heard of it until I heard it discussed here and even then I had no idea what it was. So I don’t know if this from Urban Dictionary is any good. If it is, it’s certainly something I can’t relate to at all—I am gay and what’s more I am in a relationship where both of us hold some unconventional ideas about sexual attractiveness. Near as I can tell, the nearest thing that gay males have to this phenomenon is the “fag hag” (as was pointed out upthread), but even then…I just don’t understand the whole thing, I guess.
So I don’t know if this from Urban Dictionary
Definition #1 is the classic Nice Guy whine, although you can be this sort of schmuck regardless of your looks.
I think Pandagon takes a ride on the Nice Guy merry-go-round every once in a while to the great shame of everyone involved.
Very interesting post Julia. May I ask, what was that graphic at the top from? An old painting?
Yes, and I’m afraid I don’t remember who painted it.
I think Pandagon takes a ride on the Nice Guy merry-go-round every once in a while to the great shame of everyone involved.
Yeah, although Pandagon seems to be describing something a bit different from what DAS, SamFromUtah and I were on about. The Pandagonians use the term to mean a male who attacks women from behind a shield of “niceness”. I was more focussing on the awkwardness, and lack of assertiveness, that many people feel when trying to date.
Hey! Nobody EVER accused me of being a Nice Guy.
I guess for the first time I feel kinda good about that?
mikey
They’re talking about a certain kind of put-on that people use. I’m talking about an actual problem that lots of people have.
What SamFromUtah said! Ask my wife about how shy I was!
The closest thing we have these days to a heroic man are ….. males who appear to be geeks and nerds.
Thank you. I’m glad someone is finally acknowledging that we are the real heroes. After all, we are responsible for pretty much every advancement in science and technology. And contrary to what you might have learned from Budwiser commercials, we are quite popular with the ladies.
Ask my wife about how shy I was!
He was so shy he couldn’t yell “FIRE” in a crowded theatre and so everyone died. The End.
Pandagon seems to be describing something a bit different from what DAS, SamFromUtah and I were on about.
I think that’s so, although at times they seem to be discussing pretty much the same thing viewed very uncharitably. I’m not familiar enough with that blog’s conventions to know which it is.
I used to get laid all the time when I was into that “new age bullshit”…now…not so much…hmmm…[lightbulb]
I think that’s so, although at times they seem to be discussing pretty much the same thing viewed very uncharitably.
Yes.
It’s not binary: the Nice Guys are the passive-aggressive knobs who think they’re the polar opposites of the Bad Boys but are simply manipulating in different ways.
Gotta agree that a lot of self-proclaimed “Nice Guys” are, well, trolling way out of their class. For every Nice Guy I’ve known who lamented his inability to “just be with someone I could really *share* my life with”, I’ve known at least two women who were rejected as potential sharers by said Nice Guy for not being up to his standards. Once you’re old enough to legally drink, you should have developed some idea of your approximate physical / social / pecuniary attractiveness, and made peace with the idea that you’re going to have to trade, say, a really unpleasant laugh & encroaching male-pattern baldness for less-than-silicone-perfect breasts & a Mary Kay jones. The fact that just about every single human being between the onset of puberty and the dawning realization that binge drinking seems like a lot more fun than it actually turns out to be is incapable of understanding this trade-off is… one consolation to those of us old enough not to be worrying about Our Perfect Match any more.
“Nice”: a useless adjective that spells mediocrity.
“He’s nice.”
“She’s nice.”
“I’m nice.”
“You look nice.”
“He’s a nice singer.”
“That was a nice movie.”
“That’s very nice of you.”
Confident people don’t walk around bleating “I’m a nice guy.” The ones that do aren’t pleasant or interesting; they’re whiney like those guys over on that “she’s forcing me to be a victim” site.
He was so shy he couldn’t yell “FIRE” in a crowded theatre and so everyone died. The End.
Well, technically it was only smoke, so yelling “FIRE” would have been inaccurate. By the time you could actually SEE the flames, well, nuff said.
of course it was only Shrek 3, so it was no great loss.
“Niceness is an over rated quality. Being nice is the way a man pays his way into a party when he hasn’t the guts to be tough or the class to be brilliant”
–Jonathan Hemlock, “The Eiger Sanction”
mikey
of course it was only Shrek 3, so it was no great loss.
Do kids count as people? I think not.
hey, it’s Monday night. The Virgin Ben got married today. Do you think? maybe? Could it be???
Do kids count as people? I think not.
Nope. Put ’em on a spit over medium coals, baste ’em with herbs and butter.
They’re FOOD!!
mikey
The Virgin Ben got married today. Do you think? maybe? Could it be???
My hyper-senses detect increased boner activity in that locale. Now they don’t.
If he really likes to play dress-up in military uniforms I can think of one he could try. Might have a few problems with the weight standard, though.
http://www.goarmy.com
Apologies to sagra for trying to reopen the ugly pit of serious conversation, especially now that we’ve emerged to cannibalism, dying in a fire, and Protein Dickslaps.
I mentioned that I didn’t have a problem with dumb bitches who chase the bad boy, provided they don’t inflict their drama on others. Well, I feel similarly about nice guys. Sometimes it takes a while to sort out your own feelings. Sometimes it does genuinely take a bit of time to work up enough nerve to ask a girl out. And sure, the younger and less ecperienced you are, the longer these things take. But you gotta be realistic – don’t con yourself into believing that what you’re doing is for her. You’re acting like a selfish ass. Just remember that everytime you don’t tell her how you feel, you are treating her just as bad as the shitbag jock who takes her for granted all the time.
What’s a reasonable period? Hard to say, because again it varies – but if anybody else has managed to guess what’s going on, then you’ve taken too long.
Part Two.
Thanks for the old blog link Julia Grey. It’s an interesting read getting the view from the other gender. I also believe that part of the problem is that these women also have the same issues that the guys they chase have. Fear of commitment. That’s why they choose “emotionally unavailable” men. They don’t actually want a committed relationship, but are afraid to admit that due to their socialization – the horrible belief that anybody not in a long-term monogamous pair-bond is somehow a blight on civilized society.
As for your question as to whether or not any adult man should entertain these fetishes? My answer is – only for purposes of sexual gratification, and you aren’t too creeped out by it. IOW, not in the company of others.
Y’know, I know what you are saying here Mikey. But, to me, most people are not brilliant & never will be. Most people are just mediocre. And there is nothing wrong with that. The brilliant ones are outliers, and so are the morons.
Also, if someone is bleating about how they are “nice”, then that is of course really stupid. And if it’s a man who rejects women because they aren’t goddess-y beautiful, then I don’t think they are really nice. Nice is nice. Nice is better than mean, to me, anyway.
I see it simplistically sometimes.
Part Three.
Speculating about Ben Shapiro’s sex life is fucking gross.
Okay, that wasn’t all that serious.
I see it simplistically sometimes.
I think you’re seeing it exactly right. Being nice is like being a lady or having class. If you have to tell people you are, then you aren’t.
As a great man once said, “It’s nice to be nice, to the nice.”
It isn’t all downhill when you start to get old…
True dat, Mikey!
The Spousal Unit and I would not be celebrating our 30th-or-15th anniversary if we hadn’t gone into it with a clear understanding of our joint and separate limitations. Ergo, we have cats & dogs, but no kids or houseplants; if it isn’t mobile enough to remind us when it’s dinnertime, it’s not going to survive long at Mathom Haul…
Cargo.
We wants it.
It is our precious.
Give it to us.
My hyper-senses detect increased boner activity in that locale. Now they don’t.
Funny, I just sensed a woman in that locale saying she had a headache.
At times I’ve acted with Nice Syndrome(TM). The worst part of it was, I knew it was stupid, but I couldn’t help myself anyway. In my defense, when you hang out with a large group of these people, it’s hard to not have that rub off on you.
It’s forgivable if we’re talking about people in their late teens/early twenties, only because that’s the time period where it takes time to get used to the real world and to stop being whiny assholes. Once you’re in your mid-twenties, you’ve had plenty of time to figure things out by then.
And getting back to the Stranger, I think the polarity’s reversed on his Chick-Magnet(TM).
Always Low Prices!1!
Dear WordPress,
Why do you always tease me so in preview? It looks like it worked, but then it didn’t.
Well, we’ll see who’s crying and holding a big bag of dicks when I leave you!
Melissa McEwan can eat a bag of dicks.
If she thinks that there’s such a small difference between Obama and JiSM3 then she doesn’t understand what more like Roberts and Alito means for women’s rights.
And while I agree that women have have a pretty crappy deal, it’s not anywhere near as bad as what the Iraqis are now living with. Imagine how pissed off she’d be if someone told her that they were voting for the anti-abortion pro-life evangelical because he promised a bigger tax cut.
Sporkey:
™
McEwan:
Eat a bag of dicks.
Sorry to go off-thread here but does anyone else out there share my freakout over this shift of the convention venue so they can bring “ordinary members of the public” there to watch Obama get the nomination? I’m picturing GOP dirty tricksters pretending to be unpatriotic hippies who wipe their asses with the flag, all of it with the aid of the DLC (who will likely support Mccain anyway, when he takes on Lieberman as his VP), the whole thing made to look like 1968 deja vu by Tweetie and the rest of the “liberal media”. Anyone else see it that way?
It is our precious.
Not sure what there is to object to about that post. Spell it out.
Meta down the looking glass.
Know what? If you can’t say your position without twisted references and code words, I’m pretty sure you don’t have anything of value to contribute.
We’ve had just about enough of people who tell us we can’t understand the issues.
Fuck that. Fuck you.
You got a position? Here’s a wacky non-bush way to do it.
Spell it out, and tell me why I should care…
Yeah?
Didn’t think so….
mikey
Not sure what there is to object to about that post. Spell it out.
Small point – here’s her descriptions of the two candidates:
Big point – Misogyny, Misogyny, Misogyny, Misogyny, Misogyny. Fuck, we get it already. Hillary was treated like shit – welcome to the real world. But what the fuck does that have to do with choosing McCain over Obama?
Holy shit. 100 more years, could be a thousand. Sure Barry’s hedging on withdrawl, but he’s a hell of a lot closer to ending the Iraq bullshit than McCain or Hillary are.
Does she honestly believe that the bullshit press hasn’t been taking a fucking dump on Jeremiah Wright’s most famous parishoner?
Does she honestly believe that getting the equal rights amendment is more important than a million dead Iraqis?
Is women’s rights so fucking important that she’s willing to burn everything down – and for what? Like the fucking Hillaroids keep fucking saying – show me the proof. What evidence do they have that Clinton would have been any better on women’s rights? Because she’s got a vagina? How very fucking sexist.
Oh that’s right, they don’t listen to Clinton anymore, she’s endorsed Obama.
Fucking bag of dicks for McEwan, and the charred remains of some car bomb victims as a sauce for it.
Except, due to gender roles in heterosexual dating (pace unrelatedwaffle and The Stranger, sex roles in establishing dating relationships are sadly alive and well),
What? I’m kind of flabbergasted that you totally missed every point I made. I was arguing against gender roles in dating, such as the man asking the woman out, thus “traditionally” being the only one subject to rejection.
The passive-aggressive man is too passive to actually ask gals out, so he tries to “become friends first” and ends up “acting like a deceitful shitbag” (for the reasons you point out) which drives away the women in question. OTOH, the passive-aggressive woman is too passive to assert herself and ask guys out but tries to get out her aggressions second-hand, ending up with aggressive jerks (as pointed out by Anne Laurie).
I dislike these generalizations, because they sound more like a movie plot than any actual people I’ve ever met. Sure, some guys try to become friends with a woman instead of asking her out, but not all women are “driven away” by this behavior. In fact, many relationships begin after the couple has been friends for a long time, and when the woman realizes the man’s feelings, she is often more than willing to date him. What could be more flattering?
From the Nice Guy(TM)’s point of view, part of what’s so unfair is the ease by which Nice Gals(TM) can attract men compared to the difficulties a Nice Guy(TM) has.
This line of reasoning is very inwardly-focused. Nice Guy is making a huge assumption about how easy it is for Nice Gals to attract men, never having had the experience himself. I’m sure just as many Nice Gals are frustrated at how Nice Guy can be less attractive, less accommodating, and well, less nice than the surrounding women but still be accepted.
Gawdang! Choo pipples chor do hab lossa timezez on ur hanzez.
We kan haz nu tred plz?
ob. ℗ℴℴ℗
But what the fuck does that have to do with choosing McCain over Obama?
I don’t see that calculus anywhere.
Does she honestly believe that the bullshit press hasn’t been taking a fucking dump on Jeremiah Wright’s most famous parishoner?
This is the “but Obama” response to anything about Hillary, which is as tedious as the “but Clinton” to anything about any Republican. Maybe she does, maybe she doesn’t. Ask her.
Does she honestly believe that getting the equal rights amendment is more important than a million dead Iraqis?
Why not ask her? She was talking about other issues.
Is women’s rights so fucking important that she’s willing to burn everything down – and for what?
I believe the article says no.
Obama’s a compromise candidate, just like Hillary would have been to anyone mildly leftist. It’s not a big deal to call him out on issues that matter especially if his opponent is clearly a disastrous choice.
It’s not crazy to be concerned about misogyny. The war’s more important, I agree, but there are all sorts of tipping points. FISA might have been one for a lot of people and that’s unlikely to make anyone die, whereas abortion issues might.
I’ve calmed down a bit, so here goes:
I don’t see that calculus anywhere.
Okay, you’re right. She says right there in that article that she’s voting Obama, but she doesn’t like it. I apologize. I’ll share the big bag of dicks with McEwan, she keeps half for giving ammo to the ratfuckers.
This is the “but Obama” response to anything about Hillary
Yes it is. And if you don’t think it’s justified, than maybe you missed Hillary Misogynist Watch post #fourhundredandfifteenthousand over at Shakes.
Why not ask her? She was talking about other issues.
Is my point. She’s always talking about other issues. No wait, I didn’t mean the plural.
I just checked VoteSmart, and they tell me that Obama and Clinton have identical voting records on Women’s Issues and Abortion Issues for the years when Obama was a senator.
Hillary
Obama
I just don’t get it.
It’s really not about Hillary Clinton.
Nor is it about Barack Obama.
It’s about me. My tribe. You. Your tribe, your kids, the people you love, the things you hope for, the things you dream of, the things you believe.
One of them is the best choice. OF THE TWO.
Neither is ideal. When Obama rolled on FISA legislation, it pissed me off. But I can’t have what I want. I can have Obama. Or I can have McCain.
I’m not all kinds of fired up to work for the Obama campaign, but I still know he’s WAY better than McCain.
And that I don’t get another choice.
Sucks to be america. But then, we’re pretty much done for anyway…
mikey
Fuck me. Can we get another post, PLEEEEEZZZ?
There’s an excellent joke in this long thread.
So this guy goes to his psychiatrist and says, “Doctor! Doctor! I’m having those dreams again! They’re terrible! Necrophilia! Sadism! Bestiality! Can’t you help me?” And the doctor says, “I tell you and tell you, and you won’t listen. You’re just beating a dead horse.”
I’m not all kinds of fired up to work for the Obama campaign, but I still know he’s WAY better than McCain.
You know, here’s the thing I want to ask some folks. Have any of you ever run for a leadership positionof ANYTHING??
And this is not to mean I’m challenging you, or trying to say you don’t have a valid opinion.
But I really want to know – have you ever had the experience of being “the person in charge” of any kind of organization made up of lots of different people?
If not school board member, or town council member, how about president of the garden club, or the stamp collecting club. No, I’m really not trying to be snarky or condescending.
Because it’s a very very strange things to be. Seriously. You are in a different place the minute your name gets on the letterhead.
And certain positions are more difficult than others. I was a member of my local labor union’s executive board for 8 years. Everybody loved me. In my 8th year, I ran for President – mostly because no one else wanted the position. I ran unopposed. Nonetheless, the first month I assumed office, certain people – not many – who had been my friends, my colleagues, my fellow union members suddenly saw me as a person with a hidden agenda, a person on a power trip.
When they received form letters I signed – form letters whose wording was unchanged from those sent by the previous President – they leapt to conclusions that the word choices revealed some kind of hidden attitude I held personally toward them!!!
I actually ended up enjoying my one term as union local President, but, boy, I realized very quickly that just by virtue of holding a certain office, you are held to a very different standard than you are as a normal schmoe. It’s startling. And even if you’re used to a more minor role in quasi-politics, like board member or secretary or trustee or shop steward, there’s a weird threshold where when you cross it, suddenly people treat you differently.
Some people love it. I might have persisted if my own life circumstances hadn’t taken me out of that milieu. some people totally fail at it. Other people are challenged by it and succeed.
Alright, never let it be said that the Dragon-King couldn’t drop an argument until it was a couple dozen comments too late.
So, Devil Rays – what like they signed a deal with Satan or something?
They changed their name to the Rays. They’re walking on sunshine.
It’s gone beyond that. Comparing Obama to fucking George W. was when LadyInstapundit truly set sail for fail.
They’ll come around, or they won’t. It’s not worth giving a shit over anymore, so I’ll stop.
Oh, I really should add that if you preen around like fucking McKinney is the best choice for your voice, well, sod off. You aren’t worth taking seriously.
g, here’s another topic.
Angie Merkel:
1) Relieved that Boosh is leaving in 196 days, or
2) Totally fucking out of her mind with joy that Boosh is leaving in 196 days.
P.S. Lest We Forget.
Yo, Harper.
My job in November is to help remove the Republicans from the White House and reduce their presence in Congress. That’s how it’s been my whole voting life.
They changed their name to the Rays. They’re walking on sunshine.
Okay, horrible admission time. I gave up on MLB when the average game broke four hours. I guess I just have a short attention span (except when it comes to dead horses).
How the fuck does someone make a post without a”screenname says – ” thingee at the top?
My job in November is to help remove the Republicans from the White House and reduce their presence in Congress. That’s how it’s been my whole voting life.
Amen.
Where do you see that?
Oh, I see. Their names are their lead-in sentances. 5:50 and 5:49.
g, they just got long names with no home page.
hey, can I just share something of my day?
Today I was in a meeting with my boss and some other people talking about marketing something.
And my boss said that he had attended a fireworks show in his local small-city neighborhood, and he’d had a really good feeling about it, and he wanted to imbue the good homey-town feeling to the thing we were marketing (which, to be fair, was an appropriate connection).
so he told the marketing people and me that, while he remembered the Village People singing “YMCA” back inthe 70s, on the 4th of July, sitting with folks waiting for fireworks to start, having a local DJ whip up the crowd with songs and goofy games and such – my boss revealed that he was totally surprised at the fact that people actually physically act out the Y – M – C – A letters.
Apparently, my boss had never seen this before.
Wow. How fucking out of touch can a person be? I’m not entirely sure, now, that my boss understands the underlying concept behind the Village People.
Wow, it sounds like your boss hasn’t seen a baseball game in decades. I wonder what he’d have to say about “In the Navy.”
it sounds like your boss hasn’t seen a baseball game in decades
that was exactly my thought. Not even on TV!
Fuck it. I took that comment down. It isn’t worth the bullshit.
Besides, if you bust people for saying horrible shit and making stupid arguments in public, they just get back at you in private.
Besides, if you bust people for saying horrible shit and making stupid arguments in public, they just get back at you in private.
Ah, so we’re back to talking about the history and meaning of all our old, thankfully dead relationships then?
You guys think we can hit 1000 comments? We can. Yes, we can.
Looking for love in all the wrong places . . . .
Why aren’t those who shun contemporary women looking in the more likely places for a mate?
Family update
For heaven’s sake, Stranger, what are you waiting for?
How’s the history thread doing?
Back sort of on topic, good God, I wish what the opposite sex thought of me was my biggest problem in life at the moment. Oh for the days.
Someone plz. point this out to HTML, because he would be, uh, interested in it:
An explanation of why William F Buckley is as great a civil rights hero as Martin Luther King Jr.
S’riously.
Brad said,
July 7, 2008 at 1:45
Those aren’t actually pics of him, just to be clear… they’re what I imagine he looks like though…
It ain’t over ’til the fat wingnut whines….
lolly said,
July 7, 2008 at 2:31
“Speaking of virgins, Virgin Ben Shapiro is getting married tomorrow. Call him the Virgin Ben while you still can.”
Well, you probably still have a while. It’ll take him at least a week to read the “how-to” book he bought for the occasion.
If the “how-to” book is the wingnut-approved Van de Veld’s “Ideal Marriage,” the Virgin Ben will remain virginal indefinitely.
In re Matt T’s 6:44 comment:
God put the prostate gland there to test our faith. You know, like the dinosaur fossils.
At least, that’s what my priest told me, right before he fucked me in the ass.*
*Strictly a fanciful jest. I have never been fucked in the ass by a priest, and, until I meet one who looks like Kevin Anderson on “Nothing Sacred”, I never will be.
Righteous Bubba @4:49:
thank you.
Sex is simply one of those things the Wingnuts screw up.
Like child-raising, spirituality, and the economy.
If someone starts from a position of whiny entitlement, then devotes a lot of time to denying the whining and the entitlement while defending entitled whining, there is very little time left over for either actual thought or actual feeling.
Because any attempt to experience the actuality creates cognitive dissonance, and they never have the guts to follow it down and resolve it. At core, every one of them possesses the deep nagging feeling that something is terribly wrong.
And they don’t have the self-awareness to realize it’s them.
When I look at the relationships in this crowd, I see a lot of sucking up to power, that must leave the less powered in the position of suck up or go dateless. Sucking up comes naturally to the women in their society, but grates on the men, who have been told they can’t do that.
So they harbor resentment for those who they see as a) encouraged to suck up, and b) already powerful, and only noticing those who suck up to them. Which is their true virgin/whore dichotomy, which has nothing to do with virgins or whores.
The Whores are the ones who effortlessly suck up, having accepted their lower than dirt status. The Virgins are the ones who get sucked up to.
Which leaves a low-power male in these setups to brood endlessly on their gun collection; the visible substitute that is all they are left with.
And we know how that ends.
mikey: It isn’t all downhill when you start to get old…
Liar.
When I see people dressed in armor like that, it makes me so very tired.
Fed eyes extending emergency loans for Wall Street
Because some people deserve more help than others.
That’s how things work in a
trickle downtrickled on economy.Fed eyes extending emergency loans for Wall Street
Because some people deserve more help than others.
I understand the logic. The big financial institutions are the pillars of the economy – if they collapse, we all go down with them. I just don’t understand why taxpayers aren’t getting anything in exchange for their money. If we have to bail out a failing company, we bought it. That sucker’s been nationalized. As for the previous owners, who deserves to be in the breadline more – the people who got laid off due to the bad economy, or the people who piloted the economy into the side of a cliff?
OK, y’all. TBogg has a post about Mary Grabar’s published short story.
Go read it. It’s trash-a-licious! It’s craptacular! And I can’t comment at TBogg’s place, so we’ll have to talk about it here.
OK, y’all. TBogg has a post about Mary Grabar’s published short story.
Now that’s some primo shit.
Wow. MaGra’s opus reads like Ann Althouse minus alcohol.
Bill S said, “He claims to have seen “Gone With the Wind”(1939) and “Casablanca”(1942) in the theatre. Wouldn’t that make him about 90?”
My babies mama was just reminding me the other day that our first ‘date’ was seeing Casablanca at Radio City Music Hall. She had bought the tickets and I was late. She was standing there fuming that she had blown $20 on tickets and she thought I was standing her up. If I had been any later, she never would have let me impregnate her… Boy am I glad I got there!
Jeff Goldstein said,
July 8, 2008 at 0:10
All of you liberals need a good slap in the face.
And all you conservatives need ‘re-education’ after being raised on the blatant lies of Rush Limbaugh and the minions of hate and fear that control the GOP.
Oh, please. The economy is not going to collapse because one cowboy risk-taking firm finds that it played the odds badly. In fact, it’s bad for the economy to encourage financial carelessness, which is exactly what you get when the overgrown boys on Wall Street know their college buds in the Fed will bail them out.
I guess dumbfuck didn’t actually LISTEN to that cowgirl song, by the way, which talks about how said cowgirl doesn’t need a man and can stand on her own two feet. I guess he was so caught up thinking about his beloved TV shows that he went temporarily deaf and stupid.
What’s the deal with Mary’s story, anyway? Her creeply stalker-fantasy about getting the Harley-guy’s license plate, coupled with her trembling yearning lust for him is just….eewwww
Hmm… selling chickens out of the back of a station wagon. Nice way to spread bird flu, dipshits.
The paragraph that gave me flu-like symptoms:
1) When you can’t grade a stack of papers without fantasizing about the hairs on your student’s legs, it is time to buy a fucking vibrator already.
2) Mote, beam, etc.
Not to mention the fact that if the cloth-capped boys were commandeering jeeps anywhere, their hairy legs would be inside the jeep, under the dashboard, where no sunlight could actually reach to glisten on their leg-hairs.
Maybe it’s a dialect thing, but I’ve never heard of personals ad. Personal ad, or personals – sure, but this is a new construction to me. Although, I am impressed at how much judgment can be crammed into such a small space. Harley boy ain’t knowin’ teh englishes, and he has troubles getting a date. Congrats Grabar, one short paragraph and I’m already disliking the narrator.
But a flawed main character can be a good thing, leaves room for development, or sets up the possibility of a nuanced approach to addressing things like moral relativism or the behavior of ordinary folks in extraordinary circumstances.
Does she actually mean commandeering? She thinks her students are car thieves? I’d have liked this story better if it was Colonel Deering instead. Although it looks like any hope for addressing the main character’s flaw of being a self-righteous judgmental ass (and this is me saying that) are fading fast.
Come on, Mary. We’re getting close to the end here. Your English teacher is still unpleasant. And there doesn’t appear to be anything that might change this state of affairs.
WTF?! That’s it? Harley guy’s married. That’s the big ending? I’m trying here Grabar, really I am – but I just don’t get the point. Your unpleasant protagonist shown to be wrong about her snarky personal
sad comment? No, that doesn’t seem to be it. Unpleasant Harley guy is married, thus we can’t assume marital status is a good measure of character? A call back to the two women having their personal conversation listened in on? Umm, that’s not the vibe I’m left with either.Maybe I’m just dense, but all I got out of that short story was irritated.
I think the point is that Miss Repressed English Teacher was all hot in a creepy way for the redneck badass cockfighting (I’ll get the ham-handed symbolism right out in the open) Southern Man, but when she realized he was married it harshed it for her.
Although I am amused by Writer for Hire Mary Grabar’s page of published works is called (Type a title for your page here). Writer’s block strikes at the most inopportune times.
She does NOT teach English at an institute of higher education. She did NOT just write a student-paper-disparaging short story that was chock-full of run-on sentences and hilariously dangling participles. Holy cow. That’s enough to make me pull out my old fiction file and give it another look-see. I mean, damn.
g, that Grabar story is awesome in an I-can’t-look-away-from-the-blood-and-crushed-car kind of way.
I tried hard to find point of this story, and think that this might be it.
.
So these guys are emblematic of the South reduced to plantation as overseer of an old car . . . . The South had plantations in the past and now it has plantations that don’t HAVE overseers, but ARE overseers . . . .
I don’t get it, not at all. Selling chickens is exploiting blood-thirst? What makes these guys more blood-thirsty than the butcher in the meat department at the supermarket? Or his customers for that matter? The guys she describes come across as stupid (selling roosters that have to be killed, scalded, plucked and gutted outside a Starbucks?) and underemployed (it takes four guys to run this little illegal market with one crate of product?) rather than cruel or sadistic. The only reference to violence is the narrator’s speculation that the man has a gun or two in his glove compartment.
This is a very short story. Every word of it should help create the mood and drive home the point of the story. What is the point of the “he’s not good enough for you” conversation? What might be in the distracting package marked in red and black that the Harley man fetches? What does it mean that the boy selling coffee sets it down and takes her money as though he’s doing a task for his mother? For that matter, what sort of mannerism suggested a maternal influence on his behavior? Does he enjoy doing things for his mother or does he resent her nagging ways? What is the point of the narrator’s daydreaming about having the time to proofread her writing and correct the grammar before she posts it with her name on it? Are we supposed to take it as a built-in excuse for the story we’re reading?
Or was THIS the big revelation?
WARNING! Spoiler Alert!!!
WARNING! Spoiler Alert!!!
WARNING! Spoiler Alert!!!
The last paragraph:
WTF? Are we supposed to think this dashed the narrator’s hopes of raising a family with this guy? Or Is she a privileged progeny who is astounded that somebody so distasteful found a mate? The narrator remains a mystery to herself and us, and we are content to have it so.
I think the point is that Miss Repressed English Teacher was all hot in a creepy way for the redneck badass cockfighting (I’ll get the ham-handed symbolism right out in the open) Southern Man, but when she realized he was married it harshed it for her.
I think I’d have preferred a short story about two proud cocks fighting over a handful of ham.
If they were cockfighting roosters, wouldn’t having six of them in one station wagon be a bit on the unpleasant side? At the very least, wouldn’t it be loud as fuck? I mean if the compartments are open enough for her to see feathers shimmering in the sun (I’m surprised that the wedding ring didn’t gleam in the sun) then they’re open enough for those birds to see each other.
She misspelled, among other things, “Sewanee.”
cowalker: She’s the hawt smart girl falling for the Bad Boy. cf. this whole thread.
It was written in writing which shone in the sun. I could see this student with a jumble of jottings, unfocused coherency assembled onto the page, saying nothing and taking the required thousand words to do so, up late to finish after having spent too much time updating her Facebook account.
In Georgia it’s “Suwanee,” but yeah, still misspelled.
“Wow, this thread is long!”
“How long is it?”
“How long is it? When this thread started, Ben Shapiro was a virgin!”
Ithankyew. Try the veal etc.
Wow. This ain’t easy – writing like this.
After ignoring my order twice, he finally looked up from the game, his acne scarred face reflecting the sun, questioningly he questioned me about my order. Cinnamon steamer I told him. He acted offended. That someone would expect him to do his job as he sat there at his job resigned to the job he would have to do since it was his job he progressed at it like a lazy labourer labouring under the hot noonday sun.
Yeah, I always use a pink Harley shirt for my baking. Oh wait, she meant his shirt. Boy, that metaphor vanished like steam rising to the top of the empty skull of a woman named Mary Grabar.
What? Ornament and frame WHAT?? Oh I see. She’s building suspense. Clever, aren’t we?
How close do you have to be to a person’s sunglasses to be able to read your own expression in the reflection? For that matter, why is she framed by the pavement? Is she lying down? Is she… oh my God, is she doing the nasty with him right there in the parking lot?
Well, there’s much more to this story than I thought!!
The man’s name was Eduardo.
The way she writes this, Eduardo should be the Harley-man’s name. Don’t tell me our little English teacher is thinking about a Latino man in ‘that way!”
Wow, this thread took another unexpected turn. Mary Grabar. Nice.
MzNicky:
Well, not really. Last I checked, Grabar teaches at a commuter college around Atlanta. I think we determined it was Georgia Perimeter College, or something of similar academic rigor.
Which is to say, you could do it. Probably better.
And that’s another thing: a PINK Harley t-shirt? Wha?
And that’s another thing: a PINK Harley t-shirt? Wha?
See, Mary’s narrator is being cruised by a HARLEY guy selling fighting COCKS with the assistance of a couple of sweaty, non-English speaking minority guys. The PINK shirt is what passes in Grabar-World for, you know, ironicalism. Besides, a penis-shaped dude in a black Harley tee would be a little *too* threatening…
I found the rest of the story!
I can totally picture him softly sobbing while he wrote this.
I wonder if the poor wanker realizes he shares his nom du web with Dan Savage…
B.B.B.B. (if I may call you that)- I doubt it. He seems to be completely lacking ANY self-awareness.
In re the Gabernater’s story: the biker’s name is MICHAEL MURPHY? Does he ride away on a Harley he named “Wildfire”?
(I’m late to this party, forgive me if someone’s made this point, but…)
George Strait sang a song “HOW ABOUT THEM COWGIRLS.” And just for a moment – there it was! A man singing about the beauty that is WOMAN. Celebrating it ….singing about it/ admiring and loving the all that is the feminine energy in a country song. WOW!! He nailed it!
Isn’t the entire appeal, or rather, the definition, of a cowgirl is a woman who acts like a man? Wearing the same clothes including big hats, boots, belt buckles, cursing and drinking and fighting and shooting guns and riding horses and driving pickups, etc.?
Not there’s anything wrong with that but it kind of throws the whole “feminine energy” concept right out the window, doesn’t it? That’s the point. It’s what I love about cowgirls- the rejection of femininity as a useless constriction of behavior to conform to society’s enforced gender stereotype.
This guy really is clueless.
Oh, and has anyone yet mentioned that Casablanca is about the love between two men and a woman? I’m guessing so, knowing you guys.
Maybe someone needs to tell both Teh Stranger and DAS that neediness is only attractive to users.
Anne Laurie for the win. Again.
You know, here’s the thing I want to ask some folks. Have any of you ever run for a leadership positionof ANYTHING??
Great question, g. I can say that I gave up on my own leadership skills at age 17 when I tried to run a Dungeons and Dragons game. It was a disaster.
Even worse was when the Navy put me in charge of a dozen other guys.
In both instances, I found that the best rule was, “when in doubt, check the rule book.” Along with, “never show yourself to be in doubt.”
Oh, and that weed does not enhance decision-making ability.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vdMQfD2bn3c
Compare Sen. Norm Coleman’s ad with the wingnut virgin’s post……
aside from folks in MN wondering if Coleman’s wife was greenscreened, the other question was
who exactly is Norm targeting with an ad where his wife tells him to ‘take out the garbage.’
WOMEN: THE NEW MEN …. indeed. Only they seem to be married to GOP Senators.
You know, here’s the thing I want to ask some folks. Have any of you ever run for a leadership position of ANYTHING??
That is an interesting question, and maybe it should be brought up in a shorter thread so some real discussion of it can happen.
In my case, no. I don’t like the whole leader/follower setup very much. I’m happiest with roles that let me stand off to the side and do my job with a minimum of interacting with the social and political tribe-drama that goes on in the organization. Freelancing suits me very well.
…weed does not enhance decision-making ability.
Heh, another lesson that usually has to be learned the hard way. That’s how I learned it.
Cowalker, that site is brilliant. Is the “third daughter” doing Wyeth’s “Christina’s World” pose? Also, too many of them. Also, why do they all have to dress the same? They’re hard enough to keep track of as it is.
I’m pretty sure that Grabar story had a few nouns in it that didn’t have adjectives. The first thing they teach you in any decent composition class is that every concrete noun needs a descriptive adjective, otherwise it’s not LITERATURE!
Oh and that sometimes your adjective filled stories can use borrowed from foreign languages syntax, because it allows the crammed full of large numbers of highly descriptive supporting adjectives style of writing.
The default position of American women is what men refer to as
“the chip,” a veiled truculence, mixed with a not-very-veiled
hostility toward men and a shaky sense of sexual identity. The result
is a touchiness reminiscent of hungover ferrets. There is a bandsaw
edge to them, a watching for any slight so that they can show that
they aren’t going to take it. They are poised to lash out in
aggressive defense of their manhood.
As best as I can tell, they don’t like being women. Here is
the entire problem in five words.
— Fred Reed, http://www.fredoneverything.net/AsianWomen.shtml
Note that the espousal of hostile obnoxiousness as a guiding
philosophy appears to be an almost uniquely American horror. It
certainly isn’t requisite to independence or self-respect. I recently
met a quite attractive blonde who, among other things, was smart, a
long-haul motorcyclist, a student of the martial arts out of sheer
athletic enjoyment of it, and an excellent marksman. She was also
heterosexual, feminine, delightful company, and had no trace of “the
chip.” I was astonished. How was this possible, I wondered?
She was Canadian.
— ibid
Whoever is keeping the track of wingnuts who can’t get laid and think the problem is with the women they want to fuck, would you please add Fred Reed and the Sanity Inspector to your list? Thank you.
You guys think we can hit 1000 comments? We can. Yes, we can.
Go! Go!
The real scandal is found on Nickelodeon and Disney Channel, where we learn that the truly oppressed minority is adults. Seriously, they’re all shown as petty, silly, and pompous, and the kids are all smarter than they are! Kids are the real oppressors. If you watch the ads, they’re also shown as being way smarter than big brothers, leprechauns, rabbits, and coo-coo birds. Where is the outrage?