A Screaming Comes Across The Sky
Butt Scud (aka John Hinderaker) launches another dud from his hospital bedside:
Barack Obama must be the most gaffe-prone politician in memory.
What was really offensive about Obama’s New Mexico appearance, however, was what followed his very brief, but generally appropriate, tribute to America’s war dead. He continued with a town hall-style question and answer period that cast veterans in the only role with which the Democrats are comfortable–victims–and sought to politicize the holiday.
Apparently when Obama talks on Memorial Day about assuring that veterans with PTSD get treatment, this is offensive politicization of the holiday, whereas when McCain yaks on interminably on the same holiday about why college benefits for veterans should be limited, this is a heart-wrenching and completely appropriate display of genuine patriotism by a decorated war hero.
And speaking of gaffes, I just came across this little jewel from Butt Scud back in February:
[A]ward categories come and go, [Hinderaker] said. “We were Time’s blog of the year for 2004,” he recalled. “There has never been another one.”
And likely that was for pretty much the same reason people stopped filling dirigibles with hydrogen gas: the results showed it wasn’t such a good idea in the first place.*
*And to head off any snark, yes, I know that the reason the Hindenburg went up in flames was likely that the dirigible’s shell was coated with rocket fuel. It’s a metaphor, folks, not science! Who would have gotten the point if I said it was the same reason they stopped coating dirigibles with iron oxide and aluminum-impregnated cellulose acetate butyrate?
See not everyone hates Malkin.
How dare Democrats even show their faces on Memorial Day! A day which began as a commemoration of Republican service to this country by those who chose to stay safely home and talk about how awsum is war! How. Dare. He.
Speaking of head snark, hydrogen had its part to play. Oh the humanity!
A Screaming Comes Across The Sky
You should have come with the banana breakfast photoshop.
Probably cellulose nitrate, a common lacquer at the time. Cellulose acetate butyrate is what you’d use nowadays, but it wasn’t available then.
Aren’t war dead “victims” by definition?
Aren’t war dead “victims” by definition?
I was under the impression that there were heroes or terrorists only.
Wha…??
Huh?
When did they stop coating dirigibles with iron oxide and aluminum-impregnated cellulose acetate butyrate?
Why doesn’t anybody ever tell me anything…
mikey
CLif:
Actually, coating a hydrogen-filled ballon with rocket fuel doesn’t sound like such a bad metphor for over-the-top conservative stupidity.
It kind of gives it that extra ‘oopmh’ that characterizes Republican assholery.
.
Oh the inhumanity!
As God is my witness, I though neo-con fantasies could fly.
Um, wingnuts…see, you were actually getting a little traction with the Jeremiah Wright stuff. Sure, most voters didn’t really care, but some at least did. This whole “Obama is stoopid LOLOLOLOL!!!!!” line? Coming from you people? The same folks who’ve been carrying Mr. Is Our Children Learning’s water for the past two terms? Do you actually expect voters to forget this?
Malkin (!!!) gets a pass here, as Dumbya’s about twenty steps to her left…but guys like Hooters Hewitt, Instastudly, the Surbhuman, and the Powerline clowns are settled in nicely at their glass houses.
On the other, who wouldn’t like to see Hindrocket filled with hydrogen, coated with iron oxide and cellulose nitrate and then flown to New Jersey? Maybe on the Fourth of July?
Oh the humanity!
Righteous Bubba,
Perhaps like this?
You know, as some people hoard all the funny it stands to reason that there is no funny left for the masses.
Under my plan the final third of each of each witty bon mot – or final half for a longish amusing anecdote or satire – would be redistributed to the masses in order that they might form one moderately amusing “cross the road” joke daily.
REDISTRIBUTE THE FUNNY NOW.
“REDISTRIBUTE THE FUNNY NOW.”
I suppose it means nothing to you that, under your redistribution plan, the family farm will stop being funny; the funniness of traditional marriages will be devalued; and the next time some “comedian” barges into a college library and makes 20 or 30 people laugh, they’ll be unable to joke back.
And you wonder why MOONBAT is an anagram of BOAT, MON.
So then I tell the cop, no why don’t you [section excised for redistribution to the humor starved] and three roosters. Seriously, the guy just stood there and [section removed for special humor excise] …you brought her!
…cast veterans in the only role with which the Democrats are comfortable–victims…
Denying healthcare for combat injury does not make vetrans victims, it makes them…um…toasters!
What can I say. I’ve been in a funk all morning.
Because we all know how terribly uncomfortable Republicans are with playing the victim for political advantage.
REDISTRIBUTE THE FUNNY NOW.
Comedy Socialism!
Comedy Communism!
Erm…Commudeyism!
I know the gimmick these special guys use is “Attack their strengths”, that way, War Hero Kerry looks like a Frenchman, and Nobel Prize winner Al Gore looks like an eggheaad, an energized Howard Dean looks rabid — all this ju-jitsu shit. It’s Rove’s gift to the guys.
But seriously. That shit only works when there’s some small kernel of plausibility — Kerry didn’t knee Rove in the balls because it was beneath him, Gore talked to people like they were reasonably intelligent, Dean was loathed by the media — combined with the idea that the other guy offers something different (like common guy cowardice and intellectual atrophy).
The “Obama is Gaffe Prone” gambit is just FUCKING STUPID. I know this is free advice to my mortal enemies, but thankfully, they’ll ignore it. McCain’s an old man prone to “episodes” that make Donald Rumsfeld sound like Nietzche, while the current occupant of the oval office has five volumes of work dedicated to the fact that he couldn’t say “The cat is in the tree” even if you spotted him the pictures.
When your party polls around 25% I understand that things are limited — but when even the diehard 25 percenters have internalized the fact that Obama is an elitist Ivy League smart guy and slick talker (if terribly, terribly black), no one is buying the slander.
Butt Scud ain’t bad, but I still like Tuchus Tomahawk.
Another possibility: Rectocet (a.k.a. Rectal Exocet).
the family farm will stop being funny
On the contrary, the family farm will be funnier. Laconic yokels used to “yep” will soon be provided with the extra syllables required for “yepperino” and “I reckon” might become “Plain as the ass on your face.”
Rectocet
I love it!
Weapon of ass destruction?
That rocket fuel notion has been pretty well refuted at this point, it seems far more likely that a more prosaic diesel fuel leak was the problem with the Hindenberg. But Rumprocket is still a tool nonetheless.
Buttyusha
I hate to be the one to have to point this out, but all these butt-rocket jokes
are bringing us perilously close to the line “…bringing new meaning to I.C.B.M.”
Rectocet sounds like something one needs a prescription for… “ask your doctor if Rectocet is right for you!”
Rectocet, from the makers of Ass-pirin.
Side effects may include: halitosis, shortness of breath, detachment from reality, delusions of relevance, greasy discharge, spontaneous combustion and shrinkage of certain organs.
“Who would have gotten the point if I said it was the same reason they stopped coating dirigibles with iron oxide and aluminum-impregnated cellulose acetate butyrate?”
I probably would. I watch Mythbusters!
Al impregnated cellulite adipose butt irate.
Bah, you’re all just too dumb to understand the brilliance of the Derriere Dvina, the Fundament Fireflash, the Arse ASRAAM. Through his deep understanding of quantum mechanics he has come to the conclusion that things aren’t actually problems until someone talks about them. Walter Reed? Until some idiot opened that black box it existed both as fucked up and not fucked up, but some moonbat had to go and collapse the wavefunction, and we all know how that worked out. See, if observation affects the observed, then it follows that observing something makes it your fault. If you were really the patriots you claimed to be, you’d spend all day with your head up your buttocks, just like the heroic Rectum Rapier.
Veterans? Casting? Victims? Like this, perhaps. But that whole Kienholtz / Segal / Duane Hanson body-casting deal was so 80s.
For some reason this post gave me a huge feeling of deja vu. Anybody else feeling that?
Maybe it is just a side effect of that time I was abducted by aliens. Or something.
I for one welcome our victimofascist overloads.
I also find it both insanely humerous and plain insane that these folks who, after campaigning for George Bush for 8 years, election or no, are finally sick and tired of gaffes, misspoken words, Orwellian doublespeak, personality cults and the dangers of a presidential candidate who softsells a radical agenda. Thus, they could never vote for a Democrat.
Old joke:
What’s the difference between Rush Limbaugh and the Hindenburg?
One’s a flaming Nazi gasbag and the other’s a dirigible.
You know, maybe the Dems wouldn’t be so practiced with victims if the Republicans weren’t so happy to keep MAKING more of them….
Back when I first started reading Sadly, No! and World o Crap I thought “Hindrocket” was a funny nickname you guys had made up to humiliate the guy.
Anyway, he’s a dipstick. I love that his opening paragraphs can be summarised thusly:
And, incidentally, George W. has NO FUCKING PLACE memorializing dead soldiers. If I had my way, no President who sent us to war would ever again stand in front of us and tell us how sad it is that people die in war. Bush’s speech was a bunch of Imperialist crap about how heroic and necessary war is. Fuck him, and fuck Assrocket for praising him.
Left unanswered in both this thread and the post to which it links is: WHY was a dirigible coated in rocket fuel? I mean, if the answer is, “To make pretty fireworks,” I guess I’m OK with that, but seriously, what was the reason?