Wheel. Of. Stoooopid.
Pat Sajak occasionally takes off time from drooling over Vanna White’s décolletage and writes a column for Human Winguts Online. Not surprisingly, each and every one of these columns amply demonstrates that Sajak couldn’t buy a vowel if you gave him a two hundred and fifty bucks and a cheat sheet with all five vowels. In his current column, Sajak is ranting about celebrity endorsements — well, celebrity endorsements of Democrats:
Recently, celebrity endorsements have been making news, with Oprah Winfrey saying she would campaign for Barack Obama and Barbra Streisand making the not-so-stunning announcement that she was supporting Hillary Clinton. … [B]ut the idea of choosing the Leader of the Free World based on the advice of someone who lives in the cloistered world of stardom seems a bit loony to me. …
That seems pretty sensible, Pat. It may be the most sensible thing you’ve ever said. So I guess that means you won’t be endorsing anyone, right? Not so much:
I don’t know whether Fred Thompson will ultimately prevail as the Republican Party’s nominee for President, but I find myself rooting for him.
Shorter Pat Sajak: Celebrities should just STFU. Except, of course, for me.
Pat Sajak is a man who looks like a lesbian.
I no longer like Pat Sajak, I must say.
“Oh to be endorsed by Pat Sajak, as if !”
I think he’s saying that we shouldn’t allow trivial information like celebrity endorsements to influence our decision making in matters as weighty as voting for president.
But at the same time, he WOULD like to encourage us to vote for the guy he’s endorsing.
[Blink, Blink]
Thanks Pat…
mikey
Pat, “Say What!?”
Did he mention Chuck Norris endorsing Mike Huckabee? Did he mention all the Repug voters endorsing Ronald Reagan or Arnold Schwarzenegger?
Funny that. Must have been edited for space.
TYP_CAL CONSERVAT_VE N_TW_T
I’d like to buy a vowel, Pat.
People! That’s not Pat Sajak celebrity making an endorsement. That’s Pat Sajak writer making an endorsement. Geesh. Is that so hard to understand?
I’m trying to get to the formula of talent vs political affiliation. I have some of the elements, but am struggling. So far I have: wingnut celebrity endorsement equals 1/4 tsp of talent…
To be fair, how many years has it been since Pat Sajak qualified as a “celebrity”?
Double-layered stupid:
Fred Thompson is a celebrity.
Who does Vanna White’s décolletage endorse?
I’ll take “The Number Twenty” for $200, Alex.
Oops. Wrong game…
I’ll take the GOP gold-filigree crack pipe for $650 billion dollars and the rest as a ROFLMAO gift certificate.
mikey, thought you might be interested in seeing this.
Lest we forget, the guy Pat Sajak – a cat known for hosting a fairly simplistic game show and little else – is endorsing a candidate who. is. a. goddamn. actor!. Jesus Christ, how in the hell did he write that column and not explode out of shame? And for cryin’ out loud, Fred Thompson’s not exactly running on his impressive congressional record.
Man. That just depresses me. When I was little, I always felt bad for Vanna White and I never could figure out why. There was just something about her that made me sad. Now I know what it is: she has to work with this damn fool.
Of course, Alex Trebek’s a Canadian, so he wouldn’t be brought down to this level.
Fun fact: Back in the pre-Letterman days, when Pat Sajak was the host of his own late-night talk show on CBS, he had Rush Limbaugh on as a guest host one week. As you can see below, it went really well:
Well! Now that his true side has been revealed, I can at least go back to masturbating over Vanna alone…
I am really beginning to think that the fundamental difference between the Left and the Right is that the Left is incapable of holding two dissonant thoughts in their heads without noticing.
The Right does not have the nerve endings to sense cognitive dissonance. They simply don’t know it exists.
Well, since their “celebrities” consist of Pat Boone, Chuck Norris, Ted Nugent and Sajak it makes sense that they’d want to downplay Oprah and co.
I forgot that Fred Thompson is a celebrity.
Who is he endorsing?
I think he’s in for Foghorn Leghorn.
[B]ut the idea of choosing the Leader of the Free World based on the advice of someone who lives in the cloistered world of stardom seems a bit loony to me
Ah. So we shouldn’t take political advice from someone who lives in the “cloistered world of stardom.” But Pat Sajak lives in the cloistered world of stardom. Which means that we shouldn’t take his advice not to take the advice of people who live in the cloistered word of stardom. Which, I suppose, means that we SHOULD take his advice not to take the advice of people who live in the cloistered world, etc. Which means that we shouldn’t. Which means that we should. Which….
Shorter Pat Sajak: This sentence is false.
Isn’t Vanna White in her mid-60s by now?
I find it impossible to even be annoyed by Pat Sajak. It’d be like being scared of a chihuahua. The guy is three foot seven and looks like a luck troll.
ST_PID C_NT
Vanna just turned 50, if Wikipedia can be trusted with such important information. And any respect I had for Pat Sajak, real or imagined, has just evaporated. Human Events? The home of Ann Coulter? F_CK YO_ SAJAK
If you shoot an arrow at Pat Sajak, it will never reach him because it first has to go half the distance, but before it can do that, it has to go half of THAT distance, but before it can do that …
when i was a kid, i didn’t realize that vanna white had a very specific, one-of-a-kind job. i had decided that i wanted to work at wheel of fortune when i grew up, because i liked wearing pretty dresses and i thought it would be fun. (i was also pretty sure that i would be better at her job than she was, because she never gave people hints, even when the answer was obvious.) it took me a long time to figure out why grownups laughed/were horrified when i announced my future career plans.
Shorter Pat Sajak: Celebrities should just STFU. Except, of course, for me the ones who endorse republicans.
There fixed it
J_CK _SS
I note that Pat thinks it makes sense for George Foreman to endorse a grill because, hey, “he’s a great guy, so it must be a great grill!” How this differs from Oprah endorsing Obama is left for better minds than mine to interpret.
As Pat says, “Trust me, one’s view of the world isn’t any clearer from the back seat of a limo.” I guess he thinks George Foreman grills hamburgers in the back seat of a limo.
I love my George Foreman grill.
Can you say convenient?
Well! Now that his true side has been revealed, I can at least go back to masturbating over Vanna alone…
Were you uh… masturbating to thoughts of both of them? Not. That. There’s….anything………… wuhl… wrah….wrong with that.
Whew, almost lost my sexual relativism there for a moment.
Huckabee is Ned Flanders without all the sex appeal.
The guy moderates a three-way game of hangman, for cryin’ out loud. I was capable of beating most of the contestants when I was in 6th grade. Pat is such a deep intellectual, I think I’ll vote for Thompson. You KNOW Pat has truly weighed all the variables and come up with an ironclad rationale. Yay, Pat!
Foreman probably does grill hamburgers in the back seat of a limo.
By the way, who is George Foreman endorsing? (Maybe Fred Thompson should endorse George Foreman.)
Thanks, Albany. It’s good to hear truth spoken, even if it is a heartbreaking truth. The worst of it is the invisible scars, and it can take some years for them to fester up and start their insidious work.
We’re going to have a real disaster on our hands, a broken, damaged, wrecked generation that isn’t ever going to just fit in. Not into our society, and not into their own skin.
There’s goddam little anybody can do, but please: If you know someone who was in Iraq or Afghanistan, don’t bug them or ask them stupid questions. But when the moment comes when they want to talk, let them. Listen. They don’t want to hear your value judgments, but by verbalizing the events they can squeeze the toxic pus out of the memories. It hurts bad, and it takes a long time. And we all have to help.
OK?
mikey
[B]ut the idea of choosing the Leader of the Free World based on the advice of someone who lives in the cloistered world of stardom seems a bit loony(sic) to me. …
Well, yeah, I guess it would , to someone who doesn’t inhabit that world.
I guess he thinks George Foreman grills hamburgers in the back seat of a limo.
How do you know he doesn’t? Doesn’t the George Foreman Grill come with a 12v adapter? ‘cuz that would be cool, right there.
[B]ut the idea of choosing the Leader of the Free World based on the advice of someone who lives in the cloistered world of stardom seems a bit loony to me…
See, everyone’s saying this is inconsistent with him backing a Hollywood actor for the Presidency, but I see some keen, Occam’s Razor-type thinking here.
Why take advice from someone living in the cloistered world of stardom on who should be President when you can just make him President? I think that eliminates some sort of middle man somewhere in the process, right? Passes the savings on to us? What were we talking about again?
Can you say convenient?
convenient.
The fact is, liberals are too self-absorbed to see Huckabee’s sex appeal. When he’s rocking a blazer it’s almost like he’s wearing nothing at all — wearing nothing at all — wearing nothing at all — stupid sexy Huckabee…
Dashboard hibachi!
I saw one of those on Pimp My Ride once.
Wait a second, I’ve never even seen that show.
Of course, Alex Trebek’s a Canadian, so he wouldn’t be brought down to this level.
Is that why he always seems so pompous when no one answers before the buzzer?
“The correct answer is Archemides, ya tool.”
If I were George Foreman, the back seat of a limo is the only place I would grill hamburgers.
That’s his schtick, dude.
I believe that’s, “The answer is Archemides, eh.”
But I have no idea of knowing whether he’s from Toronto or its environs. It’s bad enough he can cut and run from America whenever he wants, while we’re left here to experience the last year in the White House of President Greg Stillson.
edited for clarity:
“…the idea of choosing the Leader of the Free World and successor to “Bedtime for Bonzo” star Ronald Reagan based on the advice of someone who lives in the cloistered world of stardom seems a bit loony to me. …I don’t know whether “Curly Sue” star Fred Thompson will ultimately prevail as the Republican Party’s nominee for President, but I find myself, star of a Merv Griffin tv show based on a childhood game, rooting for him. And I’m sure the star of “Predator” and “Pumping Iron,” my good friend Arnold, is rooting for him too. “
It’s one thing to buy an ab machine because Chuck Norris recommends it …
Look, I realize that the Huckster has lost a lot of weight but referring to him as the “ab machine” might be a little much. Unless, of course…you don’t suppose…you don’t suppose that Pat doesn’t know about Chuck and Huck?
M_R_N
Uh, one vowel please.
Different Brad–yeah, what we call “shaking your fist at Mickey Mouse”, which we frequently also apply to the singer of Metallica.
Guys, this is Pat’s big chance to actually get some attention and play celebrity again! Don’t rain on his goofy parade! If he keeps up, he might even cut an album, and that would just be priceless.
Not sure if Pat is a TN native, but he used to be on the radio in Nashville before he hit the big time, that may be why he’s behind Freddie.
And besides his Wheel of Moron & Human Events gigs, a representation of his head appears on a crossword game for morons that’s on the tee vee screens on the busses here in L. A. County. He (or the representation of his head) also has a website devoted to games for ninnies.
More fun w/ Pat:
Pat Sajak’s Trivia Gems
Join America’s most-loved game show host on the set of his newest production, Pat Sajak’s Trivia Gems!
This fun downloadable game includes: Pat Sajak’s trademark humor and personality
Download Pat’s “humor™” & “personality™” today! (Estimated time: Well under a minute for 56K modem, much less for high-speed.)
Thought y’all might find this funny.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BhTZ_tgMUdo
They zing the hell out of Huckabee. 🙂
Hoosier X said,
November 29, 2007 at 21:57
TYP_CAL CONSERVAT_VE N_TW_T
I’d like to buy a vowel, Pat.
G__d sh_t!
(good shot- what were you thinking?)
Shorter Pat Sajak: Celebrities should just STFU. Except, of course, for me.
This new shorter concept is promising. Maybe I could help you perfect it. Let’s not let anybody else use it unless they give us credit.
albany, mikey, thank you. this is close to my heart.
To answer mikey’s question at long last: Okay.
Clint Eastwood, Sonny Bono, Fred “Gopher” Grandy, Ronald Reagan, and Arnold Schwarzenegger.
It seems that when the actor is a conservative, the only way the “Shut Up and Sing” crowd can shut them up is by electing them to office.
No, no, no, listen. You’ve got it all wrong. Pat doesn’t like it when talented celebrities endorse candidates.
Fuck Pat. I am voting for Kucinich.
Oh, and I can totally see up Vanna’s dress from here. Yikes. Can someone get her to wear a nice pantsuit?