DEAR ANTI IDIOTARIAN ROTTWEILER DO YOU LIKE ME? ___ Y ___ N
Every time Emperor Misha mentions me by name, I blush like a giggling schoolgirl. I remember, long ago, I tried and tried to get his attention. I roared with laughter when he said that John Edwards’ kid was lucky he was dead so he didn’t have to grow up with a ‘mo for a father — and he ignored me. I let out a cheer when he dropped the hugely original bon mot that it’s not rap music, it’s CRAP music! — and he said nothing.
Above: tear-stained yearbook photo
But then, one day, it happened. After years of passing him notes in study hall and writing “MR L P + E M 1 TLA” on the back of my unicorn Trapper Keeper, he finally blew me a kiss. Oh, sure, he played it smooth — he called me “some lefty Idiotarian that I hadn’t heard of before now” to be cool in front of his friends — but he finally noticed me. Before I could emerge from my swoon, I was being surrounded on all sides by people accusing me of being insufficiently grateful for Misha’s fine work defending Denmark against the Reds. It was like being French-kissed by a thousand Corey Feldmans.
Well, dear Sadly, No!* diary, I don’t want to jinx it, but…I think he might want to go steady.
It seems like just yesterday that we were all sitting around in study hall, talking about how he really stuck it to that slut Jessie Davis who went and had an extramarital affair, which we all know leads 100% of the time to being murdered just like dressing like a common tramp always gets you raped. (Not the bad kind of rape, like when people say mean things about you, but the kind where people force you to have sex.) And I guess he must have been eavesdropping, because the next thing we knew — he was saying our name!
Well damn, but don’t let that stand in the way of pulling out your worn and tattered race card, Leonard. You just wouldn’t be a real Moonbat if you didn’t do it any chance you get, particularly when it isn’t relevant at all.
I confess, I made the whole racist angle up just to get attention. It’s clear that none of his posters even knew the racial identity of the killer and his victim, because they say so in the comments! And why would they lie? Maybe it was the comment in the original post that referred to miscegenation as “animal husbandry” and claimed it created legions of green-haired outcasts that threw me, but that’s no excuse to just invent things out of whole cloth.
Anyway, the comment of mine Misha is referring to here is when I wondered how the Nice Doggie crew might have reacted to a white woman murdered by a white man to whom she was married — after all, they spend so much time pointing out in debate class how if Jessie hadn’t been having an affair, she wouldn’t have gotten killed. So I felt sure that he’d write a big post about, oh, say, Chris Benoit, who murdered his wife and child even though she wasn’t cheating on him — I mean, surely, she must have done something to deserve getting strangled. Maybe she lipped off, or had a black friend like Dennis Prager’s kid does. But instead of taking the time to actually write about the very thing I predicted he wouldn’t write about because it wasn’t chock-full of racial overtones, he spent half the post talking about me. Me! ME! I just know he has my yearbook photo under his pillow, dear diary.
But now I’m worried that he might like that stuck-up D. Aristophanes even more.
Who can possibly question Miss Cleo Aristophanes’ crystal ball and Tarot deck? But what, exactly, does all of that have to do with the cautionary tale of a poor woman whose stupid life choices led to a tragedy at the hands of a deranged, murderous fuckwit? Nothing? Well isn’t that surprising? Then, desperate that nobody has recognized his genius by commenting on his dreadful dungheap of a post 21 minutes later, he adds (when nobody wants to talk to you, you can always talk to yourself. All hail the might post count!):
See, he’s just playing shy again, like he did with me. Because after accusing D. of talking to himself to drive up the post count, a bunch of his friends came over to our table at the cafeteria and started throwing mashed potatoes at us until the post count was 170! He’s such a scamp, that Misha. I guess that’s what makes him so adorable!
Well, dear diary, I’m off to deposit my kerbillion Schrute Bucks and write about this in my Dream Book. But in the meantime, I’ll leave you with a great comment that totally proves once and forever that this is not about race.
If anything Race played a card at letting this POS NOT-COP to continue carrying a badge due to the PC-sensitive nature of his being BLACK. And having been KID-GLOVED by the same process that gave him a badge.
SO COOL!
*: Some of his friends call us “Sadly, Blow!” Isn’t that funny?
Damn, that’s just sexy-mean.
Be sure to tell us if he’s a good kisser…..I hear you can practice on your pillow. Just don’t put lip gloss on first, or your mom will find out.
You know, I can’t really read people like that. They’re not funny, they’re fucking scarey and sad.
And I think Ken has a big crush on mikey, too. When world collide, babies get made.
You wanna have like a thousand of his babies.
Wow. Does he really think he’s a dog?
mikey
‘Cause that’d be really funny. We could throw stuffed kitties at his head!
mikey
Misha’s fine work defending Denmark against the Reds
You just have no idea what it was like up there in the wastes of Greenland, fighting to keep democracy safe from the fanatic Inuit hordes.
Hey! watch it with the kitties.
If he thinks he’s a dog, does that mean he’s going to sniff all the other dogs’ asses?
I’m not sure about this Misha boy. He seems like bad news. Just remember, Mister Leonard Pierce, that bad blogs do, and good blogs don’t. You don’t want Sadly, No! to get a…reputation…do you?
But he’s so dreamy!
Besides, if I don’t put out, he might go with one of those other blogs, with the fast cars and the tight skirts.
Ken was back in the comments (over there), boasting how he kicked our ass.
Funnily enough, he calls himself “SoldierInGodsArmy” and has a scary picture of a lion. Can any physiologists out there help with a profile?
Ken was back in the comments (over there), boasting how he kicked our ass.
Funnily enough, he calls himself “SoldierInGodsArmy” and has a scary picture of a lion. Can any phycologists out there help with a profile?
Holy shit. I shoulda actually read the post instead of scrolling to the comments.
Leonard, misha wants ALL OF US. He wants the whole sorority to have an orgy and invite him.
This kind of insanity might be above my pay grade.
They just love that “Fantasy Cop” don’t they?
Forthright! Brave! True! White!
Always heartening to see another Clausewitz fan out there.
And since commenting here seems to be a much more efficient way of communicating than registering to post over there, lemme ask you misha, what’s with this ghettos are soooooooooooooooooo dangerous bullshit?
I live across the street from infamous projects in Brooklyn. You’d have heard of it if you listened to hip-hop. I walk through “the ghetto” at night daily. And I’m a rich white boy. The ‘closest’ I’ve come to a threatening experience in the year and a half I’ve been here was being asked to come into the projects for a threesome with two…. unattractive girls who stopped me for a light for their blunt.
As I write this, it’s 1:20 AM. I’m going to go out and walk around the project building across the street…..
Back, and still alive.
Wow. Reading the comments over there is like walking into that Star Trek episode where the transporter malfunctioned. No, not that episode where the transporter malfunctioned, the other episode where the transporter malfunctioned, and Regular Kirk, Regular Spock and Regular Somebody Else wound up in the Evil Universe, while Evil Kirk, Evil Spock and Evil Somebody Else were in the Regular Universe.
Which means, I think, that Misha is just Mister Leonard Pierce with an Evil Goatee.
Be nice to the racists,
They did win us the election.
Gah! Too much after-school special shtick! For the love of G-d, Leonard, stop before I end up reliving Full House episodes in my dreams again!
Just give us some advance warning so I can keep a barf bag handy.
As I write this, it’s 1:20 AM. I’m going to go out and walk around the project building across the street…..
Back, and still alive.
Yawn. Were you wearing only a bikini?
Because it doesn’t count unless you were.
what a fucking loser. Who goes through comments on another blog that thoroughly? He must have oodles of free time. It’s good to see he’s using them to bravely fight the islamonaziamnestyofreecultural conspiracy.
Someone needs to take that dog for a walk, it hasn’t seen the outside world for days, and now it’s shitting all over the place.
The mild irony is that rottweilers are actually really sweet dogs, by and large. You have to train them to be assholes.
Irregardless, A-I.R. (insert ‘air-head” joke…) is just a heart breaker, Leonard. Oh, sure, he’ll play nice, maybe buy you lunch once, but come one, we all know what he’s REALLY after. And once he (…HERE!) gets what he’s after, or decides you’re not worth the effort, he’ll move on, and set his sights on a different lefty blog to swoon. You’re just a notch on his bedpost.
I will again comment on his blog header, w/ the cross, the star o’ david, & that Star Whores™ insignia. Whatta dipstick. Is Misha (a rather girly name) currently a resident of these United States? Perhaps we could lift his papers & have him returned to Denmark, where he’d have to face the Islamofascists all by himself, looking down the barrel of his rifle at the Muslim hordes.
And on a purely gratuitous note, a friend of mine’s grandmother is Austrian, and said friend quotes her as saying that Danish sounds to her, at least, like someone with a throat infection speaking German.
Nice slam on affirmative action. Does he have any proof to back up that claim, or is it just the usual righty word association: Black = affirmative action. I guess there have never been any crooked/psycho white cops right?
Perhaps we could lift his papers & have him returned to Denmark, where he’d have to face the Islamofascists all by himself, looking down the barrel of his rifle at the Muslim hordes.
Fuck no. You keep the king poodle, we’ve already got all the sad wankers we can handle.
Danish sounds to her, at least, like someone with a throat infection speaking German.
An Austrian said that? Well, she would know.
Anti-Idiotarian Whatever is where all the angry failures who really, really wanted to fit in with the Jocks but ended up getting kicked in the head and made to feel worthless end up.
The ‘closest’ I’ve come to a threatening experience in the year and a half I’ve been here was being asked to come into the projects for a threesome with two…. unattractive girls who stopped me for a light for their blunt.
That was more dangerous than you realize. Think about it: Two women, late at night, bad part of town, using illegal drugs, and asking a man to have sex with them.
Obviously, they were members of some bizarre suicide cult. They were just asking to be killed.
Holy Jesus on a fucking stick! I don’t get it, I really don’t get it: what the buggeryfuck are they talking about?
They’re claiming that anyone who doesn’t conform to their rather twisted moral standards deserves to be murdered. WTF? She had sex with a man, fercrissakes. And had a baby. How exactly is that a crime deserving murder?
Because that’s what they seem to be frothing about: all the rest is just social icing on the cake. The fundamental facts (yikes, I’m starting to sound like that arse-licking Kevin wankstain) are that (1) they had sex, (2) they had a baby (presumably followed by (1) a bit more), then (3) he killed her.
So how the fucking Jesus H Christ in a soup tureen is that deserving of death? Dangerous even? Are these wankers so afraid of Play-doh and Kevin Bacon that any use of girly squishy bits is dangerous? And if not, what the complete lacy buggeryfuck are they on about?
Ahem, sorry. Got carried away there. I’ll just settle myself down again. Rasp, rasp, slurp, rasp. Misogynistic lunatics get me rather unsettled, I’m afraid. Particularly ones so condemnatory of vaginal activities.
Hey, hang on a minute: did they mean that she should have gotten an abortion, rather than bearing the child of a married (and black!) man?
Misha makes me ashamed to have a badly-shaped goatee.
He’s Danish? I thought he was a fire-sale Norwegian.
…nine months pregnant with a second out of wedlock child from a married man with another family and another child from a third woman…
Sounds like the Henry Hyde, Newt Gingrich, Strom Thurmond, Bob Livingston, etc., etc., story.
And ain’t it grand that a simple-minded, amoral, bigoted, insane, gun-nut/neanderthal/paramedic/Texan who epitomizes everything pernicious and loathsome about our benighted culture and deficient educational system can grow up to be an Emperor on the Intertubes?
Worse, Qetesh;
it’s that if you make poor life choices you have no cause to expect not to be murdered.
Or any violence, really.
so if you dropped out of college, or married a creep, or ran up debt on your credit cards….
you’re free game.
As long as you’re black. Becasue a white person who does those things gets all the pity of the media and a prime time special, as well as a million dollar exclusive interview when you get out of jail, if you end up there. Because by the standards they express, Paris Hilton should expect to be murdered in jail, and we KNOW that’s not what they really mean.
Mr. LP, I have to applaud the Mack Bolan reference in your other post. That gave me a big chuckle.
The Clauswitz dipstick was talking about dissolving the union into different states. I tried to follow his logic, but he didn’t make any sense, probably because he was typing with one hand while he wrote it.
I’d hate to see what’s in this guy’s basement.
I don’t want engage in lookism, so let me channel that esteemed Perfesser of Jug Blowin’ and Moonshine Brewin’ for a moment: Ahem… One commenter has noted that Misha’s particular facial hair pattern is almost universally refered to as “Jailhouse Pussy”. I can not confirm.
I find HTML’s crush on Marie Jon’ far easier to understand.
I also find Specialist G’s “Jailhouse pussy” reference indecently funny. I laughed outloud. I have never heard that before.
well, there are several countries, it is true, where making life choices such as the one above can result in death for the woman. for instance, i give you iraq, where just an incident was captured for posterity not three weeks ago. i believe the victim was yazidi.
i know i know i know, what’s the point, but it always bears repeating–the right wing misha-types in this country would be far more comfortable in a theocratic fascist society. for about five minutes. because then they’d find out that whole “for thee but not for me” bullshit might result in their decapitations and so on.
hard lives.
I would also like to engage in looksism long enough to point out that Misha’s picture up there makes him look mush-headed, like it’s all kind of smooshed over to the side…
Whether his head is round or actually lopsided, It’s not a flattering haircut.
I personally wouldn’t get involved with Misha, but if you do, I recommend that you use protection…
“I’d hate to see what’s in this guy’s basement.”
Jame “Buffalo Bill” Gumb: It rubs the lotion on its skin. It does this whenever it is told.
Catherine Martin: Mister… my family will pay cash. Whatever ransom you’re askin’ for, they pay it.
Jame “Buffalo Bill” Gumb: It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again.
[to his dog, Precious]
Jame “Buffalo Bill” Gumb: Yes, it will, Precious, won’t it? It will get the hose!
Catherine Martin: Okay… okay… okay. Mister, if you let me go, I won’t – I won’t press charges I promise. See, my mom is a real important woman… I guess you already know that.
Jame “Buffalo Bill” Gumb: Now it places the lotion in the basket.
Catherine Martin: Please! Please I wanna go home! I wanna go home please!
Jame “Buffalo Bill” Gumb: It places the lotion in the basket.
Catherine Martin: I wanna see my mommy! Please I wanna see my…
Jame “Buffalo Bill” Gumb: Put the fucking lotion in the basket!
Specialist G: that beard of his is called a talking cunt in Dutch, because it looks a little bit like…
This all is turning into one giant moebius strip.
misha ‘reader’ cheryl sex
“Here’s another instance: Say I’m walking down a dark street in NYC late one evening. A group of men of indeterminate nationality are approaching from the opposite direction. They are loud, appear drunk. Should I cross over to the other side of the street? After all, that would be judgmental of me to think they would cause any trouble, and, of course, I would not want to offend them. And after all, I do have the right to walk down that street. But, chances are, they would cause a problem for me. I cross over. That’s reality. Common sense must prevail, people.”
She forgot to mention Bible study, tho.
And, ummmmm, demonstrating that you’re afraid is a much better way to get trouble started then just ignoring them. Common sense tells me acting like someone’s a scary bad threat because they’re enjoying the evening and non-white might insult them.
sex= sez, this time.
you should be focusing on your studies Mr Pierce and not wasting school time with these junior high romances!! you don’t want to make a poor life choice and then get murdered, do you?!
“You see, Jillian, humans are assholes.”
This is the WHOLE reason for right wing nuts like this. They ARE assholes. They accept it, and then believe that Everyone is an asshole just like them. And since they have no self-respect, they don’t respect anyone else either. So killing mass groups of other people is okay in their asshole minds, because- hey they are just assholes like me.
They know what a piece of shit they themselves are and just believe that everyone must be equally worthless.
And those of us who actually AREN’T assholes have to suffer for these monumental pricks.
“I personally wouldn’t get involved with Misha, but if you do, I recommend that you use protection”
As in the prophylactic kind or the “that’s whut the 2nd uhmendmint is fer” kind?
Seems kinda win-win either way. Misha’s visage couldn’t strike fear in the hearts of a mathletics team nor get him laid on a bet.
“And, ummmmm, demonstrating that you’re afraid is a much better way to get trouble started then just ignoring them. Common sense tells me acting like someone’s a scary bad threat because they’re enjoying the evening and non-white might insult them.”
Well, hate to prick your bubble, but if they harass you because you cross the street, insulted or not- they aren’t good people.
Ok, sure. What’s your point? As I said earlier, I live in what some would call “the ghetto”, and have never been harassed by any of the large groups of drunk non-whites I encounter.
N, truth be told, if you act like someone is a threat and they’re just a citizen like you, out enjoying the night, they have a right to be offended, and maybe even say something along the lines of, “i’m not gonna mug you, cracker asshole”.
Misha should realize you don’t bring a feather duster to a mop fight.
Karl Rove II: Funny, that exact sequence came to my mind as well.
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Easy on the goatee bashing, people!
Just becuase some deranged lunatic nutbag fucktard chooses to wear a ratty goat that’s really stupid looking on him doesn’t mean there aren’t red-blooded non-deranged lunatic nutbag fucktards out there who might be a little sensitive about their own beautiful, luxurious facial hair.
Especially those of us who did not choose facial hair but had it thrust upon us due to baldness at 22 and an enormous head that looks like Frosty the Snowman’s without a little added color to break up the vast expanse of whiteness.
Not that I’m bitter.
“It doesn’t require “ninja skills” or “dark ops training”, it doesn’t require much of anything at all, just a few readily available tools (or no tools at all) and the intent to commit murder. That, and your intended victim being less able to defend himself than you are at killing him, which only takes a minimum of advance planning since you will, most of the time, have the element of surprise working in your favor.”
Well, we’re safe in assuming he didn’t learn hand-to-hand in the Marines.
Umm, yeah. After reading comments like this:
are you really sure that what they were flinging at you was actually mashed potatoes?
I’d hate to see what’s in this guy’s basement.
Actual conversation between two friends of mine:
Girl: “I’m not going out with that dude! He looks like he could have a trunk full of dead hookers.”
Boy: “Nah, that guy looks like he has a trunk full of pyjamas made from dead hookers. So you probably shouldn’t date him.”
I think maybe they were talking about Misha… so you’ve been forewarned, Mr. L. P. Don’t go making one of those poor life choices….
comsympinko : I’m still giggling. aw, poor baby! Give yourself a hug.
No.
It just means that Mitt Romney schleps him about internationally strapped to the SUV roof in a a carry-crate.
comsympinko, I concur. Some of the sexiest blokes I know are plentifully endowed with goatee loveliness, and similarly reticent on the hair front.
And goatees make practical sense, too: means a bloke can avoid shaving all the fiddly bits, and still have some natty shaved cheeks.
I’m all for appropriate laziness. As a cat, it’s what I live for.
Enough with the GOATEE,
MAKE WITH THE GOATSE!
Or better yet, mix ’em together
and youv’e got a gaping asshole with a goatee…
In other words: A naked Emporer mercilessly violating his “nice doggie”.
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