Two Of A Perfect Troika

First it was Ann Coulter, under investigation in Florida for ballot irregularities. Now Laura Ingraham is in some hot soup for her attempt to jam the Democrats’ voter assistance hotline during the election.

Ingraham’s performance was particularly Republican in that, once her flying radio monkeys had jammed the line, she went all cackly at the recorded ‘all operators are busy’ messages, claiming that the Democrats couldn’t even set up a hotline properly.

Here’s Senator Pat Leahy calling for a federal investigation of Ingraham’s phone-jamming stunt (audio clip).

Any comment from Malkin yet on that little serial terrorism thing?

Diebold Derangement Syndrome
By Michelle Malkin · November 17, 2006 10:36 AM
Oh, this is just side-splitting. The Daily Kos summons up the Black Box Brigades and launches a fund-raising drive to fight evil Diebold, which Kos thinks stole a congressional election from a Democrat in Florida’s 13th district.

Sadly, No!


Comments: 42



Nov 16, 2006 2:42 pm US/Pacific
Man Gets House Arrest In Threatening Letters Case
Castagana Is Scheduled To Be Arraigned Dec. 11
(CBS) LOS ANGELES — A Woodland Hills man who allegedly sent threatening letters … under house arrest while he awaits trial … ordered not to mail anything while on bond, and will have to wear an electronic monitoring device … faces up to 15 years in federal prison if convicted … allegedly told FBI agents that he sent the letters because he did not like the recipients’ liberal politics.

… public defender argued … letters were sent after Castagana’s mother had a heart attack and had to temporarily move out of the home she shares with her son, who suffers from depression …

The above CBS story didn’t mention Castagana’s alleged infatuation with substitute mommas, nor did the CBS story mention:

4.p. Possible chemicals that could be used to make weapons of mass destruction or literature showing how to make it;
4.t. Literature regarding Kathleen [sic] Harris;
4.u. Anti-semitic literature and or left wing hate rhetoric;
6.a. … “Do you know Alan Berg? You should. Death to demagogues.” Alan Berg was the Jewish talk radio host assassinated by white supremacists in Denver in 1984 …
6.h. … “I hope you live to see the destruction of your Judas city” … “NYC = death to demagogues.”
9.a. … The money order was made out to “Friends of Katherine Harris.”
11.d. … “Rosenberg’s = Liberal Journalist’s = Benedict Arnold’s = Judas’s.”

As item 4.t illustrates, the FBI/JTTF could use better proofreading. As item 4.u illustrates, the FBI/JTTF is a little hazy about the difference between left and right.

The FBI/JTTF affidavit doesn’t mention any possible investigation of Castagana’s alleged online statements (“I am a lifelong Conservative Republican … Ann Coulter is a Goddess and I worship Laura Ingraham and Michele Malkin.”) but the affidavit does say that the FBI/JTTF will be investigating the information stored locally on Castagana’s computer.

Most of Castagana’s alleged targets are Jewish, and, throughout the FBI/JTTF affidavit, the dominant theme of Castagana’s alleged activities is Castagana’s anti-semitism.

Try this thought experiment — imagine how the FBI/JTTF investigation and the bond hearing and the news coverage and the blogosphere discussions would have been different, if Castagana hadn’t said “I am a Conservative Republican” but if Castagana had said, instead, “I am a Devout Muslim.”


Breaking news:

Lawyers for Castagana preparing “Cheeto” defense

Source close to counsel says Woodland Hills man grew increasingly depressed after missing third “Taco Night” in a row


Source close to counsel says Woodland Hills man grew increasingly depressed after missing third “Taco Night� in a row

Oh, that’s no excuse – there’s always Fourth Meal . . .

Smiling Mortician

Oh, Laura, Laura, Laura . . .

Vote is being suppressed, what are you talking about? You want to see voter suppression? Try to vote in Iraq when you have snipers on rooftops, OK? Those people walk to the polls; they don’t care about the snipers. So don’t talk to me about voter suppression.

Would it involve too much reality-based observation to talk about why there are snipers on the rooftops in Iraq? Or about why it might not be such a good thing to brag that voters’ rights in the U.S. aren’t quite as repressed as those in Iraq? Yes? Oh, OK.

That is the biggest bunch of baloney that we’ve been sold, and we’ve been sold it election after election by desperate Democrats . . . They’re on top of all of the shenanigans at the polling stations.

You know, I suspect she meant that the Dems are *behind* all the shenanigans, not *on top of*, although in true dingnut fashion she spoke an inadvertent truth. Dr. Freud? Your lingerie is ready.

OT (but not really): Anybody else find this bloodthirsty illogic more offensive when it comes from female jackbooted thugs than when it comes from male jackbooted thugs? I do, and I’m not sure why.


Smiling Mortician: “Dr. Freud? Your lingerie is ready.”

Ingram, Coulter and the Malkin thing (ht to Mikey for that one) are all guttersnipes. And you’re right, it is more offensive coming from a woman. Maybe we expect more out of women, I don’t know – more human compassion? More sense of fair play?

The thing I find fascinating is this: when the Deb Frisch debacle was going on, it was the left wing bloggers and blog commentors who said repeatedly “Look, if that’s what she really did say/do then she deserves what she gets.” I can’t recall anyone defending her. I think we were all amazed about how up in our grills they were over it, what with Jeffy G. and Malkin publishing home addresses and the like – hypocrites much? And blogs and comments reflected that.

But looky here at Cheeto-Boy: he practically credits the trio of harpies with inspiring him. And the righty bloggers/bog commentors? *crickets*

It has been kinda fun watching the head ‘sploding since the election…


What about that FOX memo about how “just because the Democrats won doesn’t mean the war on terror is over”. That makes it pretty clear that FOX supports terror. I don’t think enough has been made of this.


…blog commenters….

Jeez, shades of Marie Jon’ there…the good old days in the bog!



It’s clear that Malkin is going to continue to ignore the Castagana episode completely for the next few weeks, then suddenly begin referring to any mention of it as “Anthrax Prankster Derangement Syndrome”.


Those people walk to the polls; they don’t care about the snipers.

Oh jeez, there they go again. You really think they “don’t care” about shooters and killings in their goddam neighborhoods?? Spoken as a true suburban goddess, never been under fire, never even HEARD a shot fired in anger.

Let me assure you, ma’am, they care very deeply about the “snipers” you speak so casually of. Its a kind of tension that eats at you day and night in a war zone. Waiting for the rifle round, waiting for the mortar round, waiting for violence and death to explode out of nowhere all around you. Sometimes it’s a relief when it happens and its not directed at you. It’s the odd sense of peace you feel sitting on a bunker in a firebase at night, watching Bravo Company get shot up in the valley 4 klicks over. There’s all this death and horror, tracers and illum rounds and grenades and B40s going off, and you feel this real sense of being alive, ’cause it’s not YOU who’s under fire.

If these assclowns had any real experience in a war zone, they wouldn’t write this blithe tripe about how the people who do have to live there get through their days. It’s just stupid, and offensive…



Let’s see:

39, single (divorced?)
Lives at home with Mom and Dad
Does not have a driver’s license (in California no less)

Yeah, that seems to just about hit the spot. So very representative.

I wonder if the advertisers are noticing. Not much of a target market there.


News Update:

Fake Anthrax Mailer Protests House Arrest Conditions

Says he has been forced to swap contraband meatloaf for Internet privileges; demands mother ‘get me another fucking juice box’


I was a little worried that the election might have blunted S,N’s comedy powah. But damn if the last two weeks haven’t been the best in S,N history. If Ruppert and Dr. BLT would come back there would be a comedy firestorm of Geneva Convention violating proportions.


The Daily Kos summons up the Black Box Brigades and launches a fund-raising drive to fight evil Diebold, which Kos thinks stole a congressional election from a Democrat in Florida’s 13th district.

Oh, that would be this race?
The fight will center around the district’s Sarasota County, where the electronic machines did not register a vote in the Congressional race for 18,000 voters (13%) — what’s called an “undervote.” That’s compared to only 2.53% of voters who did not vote in the race via absentee ballots.

A study by the local paper, The Herald Tribune, found that one in three of Sarasota election officials “had general complaints from voters about having trouble getting votes to record” on the electronic machines for the Congressional race. Since 53% of voters in Sarasota County picked Jennings over the Republican Vern Buchanan, those missed votes would likely have put Jennings in front. (more)

This one?
Some voters complained that the touch-screen machines weren’t registering votes for Congress, prompting Rowland to shut two down briefly for inspection. And more than a dozen poll workers said voters complained of missing the race entirely due to how it was displayed on the screen — an issue so serious that Sarasota County elections chief Kathy Dent had pointed it out three days earlier in an e-mail to poll workers handling early voting.

Dent headlined her note: “CRITICAL.” (more)

And Kos’s “hysterical take”?
And while there is currently a recount underway, the only way to gauge the true sentiment of the voters is to have a revote. (And I would say that even if Democrat Christine Jennings takes the lead after the recount.) (link)

So let’s see…
— 33% of poll workers reported that voters had issues with the machines
— The elections chief noted the problems in early voting
— The vote totals show a statistically improbable number of undervotes, only in the one race that people reported problems with and only when using the machines in question
— As many as 18,000 votes may have been missed
— The margin of victory was less than 500 votes
— Kos advocates a revote, even if his candidate pulls ahead in the revote

So, class, you see how this adds up to “Kos is deranged! DemonRATS are whiny looozerz! Cheaterz!”

This has been another edition of Wingnut Logic for the Reality-Burdened.

WIsh I Could Be Gary Ruppert

The fact is that Malkin HAS addressed the Castagna thing. Like this:

“Oh, this thing happened and people are trying to say that my name was mentioned, and…Look! A dog with a puffy tail!”

(Except insert “Keith Olbermann” for “A dog with a puffy tail.”)


Wish I Could Be Gary nails it right on the head. Maglangalngang’s post on the Castagna topic is WEAK!


The fact is that Speaker Pelosi won’t last a year. She has immense ethics problems and a majority of her caucus rejected her puppet John Murtha.

Pelosi has basically overplayed her hand, and her far-left agenda won’t make it into law.


In my dream Coulter and Ingraham wore complimentary black and white
striped spandex outfits as they toiled in the internment camp garden while Warden Malkin paced the catwalk with a bullhorn and a bag of
Cheetos. As usual, I was the only male trustee and, of course, naked.


Your prediction record is less than impeccable, Gary.

P.S. Everyone have a good laugh at Holy Joe’s expense.


Jim Clyburn is the Democrat whip, and he also accepted gifts from Jack Abramoff, such as trips to exotic islands.


Hey, kdaddy, whatever floats your boat.

Welcome back, Gary! We sure have missed you. And I must say, I’m sure you’re right about Pelosi. She’s doomed, I tell you, doomed! Her party hates her and they’re falling apart as we speak:

“It does not diminish her as leader,� said Representative Jan Schakowsky, Democrat of Illinois. “A vote for Steny Hoyer is not a vote against Nancy Pelosi.�

Others agreed. “I thought what she did was pretty gutsy,� said Representative James P. McGovern, Democrat of Massachusetts. “I think a lot of people in the room respect what she did.�

Mr. Emanuel and others said the vote was also a vivid display of the independence of Democrats, which he contrasted with the tight control the Republican leadership has exerted over its membership for much of the past six years. “This is the strength of diversity and people speaking their minds,� he said.

So let’s see if I’ve got this all straight: Pelosi was unanimously chosen to be speaker; she advocated Murtha for leader out of both loyalty and a desire to front-burner the anti-war voice; Dems voted according to what they found both practical and conscientious; Hoyer, a qualified guy without the 26-year-old ethics baggage, is selected leader; House dems who voted for Hoyer and against Murtha are condemning neither Pelosi nor Murtha but are instead talking about how well Pelosi and Hoyer will balance each other; even Rahm “Let’s be Bipartisan” Emanuel is dissing only the GOP and its dittohead approach to governance . . .

Hmm. On the other hand, Gary, it kinda sounds like, oh, what’s the word? Democracy?


Gary, can you make a prediction on the Ohio State – Michigan game. Keep in mind that Bo Schembechler died earlier today, so the fact is the Wolverines should be extra pumped up.



I’m sorry, I’m sorry! I’m working on it!


The fact is that Speaker Pelosi won’t last a year.

But I thought you told us last week that the election would be invalidated, Gary? And before that you assured us we would lose. You keep moving the goal posts, Gary. Kinda makes everything you say worthless and meaningless.


Bo died? Huh. I hadn’t heard. Spent a lot of time watching UM games when I was a kid. I especially enjoyed watching Woody Hayes get his ass handed to him because he was always so gracious about it. Ah, those were the days.

Oh! I almost forgot. Gary, Chad Castagana called and he wants his Sega Saturn joystick and his Prussian Blue CD back. Turns out he’s going to have a lot of unscheduled time on his hands.


The fact is that Speaker Pelosi won’t last a year.

This is the clearest sign yet that Pelosi will be a great Speaker. Whatever Gary says, the opposite happens.

Hey Gary, how does it feel to deal with the reality that your hero Karl Rove got absolutely schooled by Howard Dean? Really, what do you have to say about that?


The fact is Bo Scehembechler’s recent death bodes poorly for Ohio State. OSU won’t last a quarter.


Thanks Gary.


Oh oh oh …. Krauthammer has a doozy up at the National Review. It begins like this:

Americans flatter themselves that they are the root of all planetary evil.

A great way to kick off, but sadly Krauthammer concludes that, much as we may like to, we simply can’t take credit for all of the violence and death around the world.


ITTDGY: That Lieberman thing is priceless and beautiful. Disturbing (to Holy Joe) if true. F*cking great regardless.


Thanks Gary. Really.

herr doktor bimler

Pelosi has basically overplayed her hand

This is what makes US politics so fascinating for us on the other side of the ocean. It’s like trying to make sense of a cricket match. You start wondering, Are there actually rules here, or are they just making stuff up as they go along?

I mean, a week or so ago the right-wing rhetoric was warning us against the bogey-woman figure of someone called Nancy Pelosi.At the time it seemed that she was an all-powerful scheming fiend concealing herself behind the smiling face of the Democratic party… a female Svengali who would waste no time after the election before revealing her Far-Left Agenda, seizing the Levers of power, installing her henchmen and cohorts and vassals in every important position, and sending American politics straight down the path to socialist serfdom.

Now, however, Gary (or one of the Garys) tells us of a feeble, ineffectual politician called Nancy Pelosi whose wishes are regularly flouted by her party. If it were not for Political Correctness and concerns for the handicapped, we should be laughing at her impotence and lack of testosterone.

Are these the same person? Just wondering.


Dok, I’m not sure how representative of American Politics that is. Gary routinely makes statements, is proven wrong or made to look silly, and immediately siezes on the next argument, even if argument #2 is diametrically opposed to the previous argument, which may have been stated as “fact” only the day before. It seems that the “endlessly shifting rationale” is something that has become the province of the modern republican party. They seem to have no compunction, nor for that matter shame, in arguing passionately for a position, then blithely leaving that position behind when it proves untenable and arguing passionately for the next position…



‘The Endlessly Shifting Rationale” was good enough to defeat the computer on Mudd’s Planet!

It also will be the title of my auto-biography, as well as the accompanying debut solo punk-prog concept album.

Thanks, mikey, I’ll send you a comp.

The Bubble People

arguing passionately for a position, then blithely leaving that position behind when it proves untenable and arguing passionately for the next position

If they really did this, I would find it frustrating and exhausting to no end, but the reality is even worse. They don’t really argue, since argument requires, at a minimum, providing some sort of support to back up a claim’s validity. And as for passion — y’know, I just don’t think they have it. They have heaps of self-interested fear and gobs of power-lust, but genuine passion? I dunno. I’m trying to think of an example of someone, anyone, on the right who actually argues in such a way that I sense he (or she) is passionate about the ideas up for debate. Searching . . . searching . . . nope.

Smiling Mortician

Oops. What a giveaway. Um. That was me. I’ve been compuretarded all week. Sorry.


Herr Doktor ~ Such is the magnificient power of us Fiendish Demoncrats. We are simultaneously the most insidious & powerful force for evil and incompetent unorganized clowns.

herr doktor bimler

We are simultaneously the most insidious & powerful force for evil and incompetent unorganized clowns.

My worst suspicions about clowns are confirmed. Those red noses and water-squirting lapel flowers and big floppy feet are simply a cunning veil for their plans of world domination.


Herr Doktor, I believe you are on to something!


Dammit! I fuckin HATE clowns…



My son, who’s 14, is still terrified of clowns. I’ve never liked them myself. But I hate dolls more. And scarecrows. And those freakin’ monkeys that clap the cymbals together. Damned creepy.

Gary! I’m so glad you’re back! Were you busy real estatin’? We were kinda worried about you. i feel better, knowing your citadel of unreality is intact.

I’m so tired and mildly trashed. Went to a CD release party after working all day, must sleep now. Sleep hard. Sleep deep. I’m kind of suffering through post election withdrawals, I think. My bad habits are starting to creep back in. Tomorrow, nothing but natural foods and healthy choices. (hey, wine is totally natural.)

This was a totally pointless post, except for my good wishes to Gary. I do apologize. good night all. Blame it on the rum.

herr doktor bimler

i feel better, knowing your citadel of unreality is intact.

A quick visit to Wikipedia reveals that there is an entry devoted to the Citadel of Solitude… but they are unaccountably silent on the subject of Garyman’s Citadel of Unreality. Does anyone want to fill the gap? Come to that, is there a Wikipedia entry for Gary yet?

herr doktor bimler

Are there actually rules here, or are they just making stuff up as they go along?
Damn, I should have used Calvinball as the analogy. That’s why we need a Preview button.


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