Ignorance is Our National Heritage

Please sir, can I have some malign neglect?

Ken Connors, Rue America:
Discounting parents’ rights

If you’re a lucky sonuvabitch, you may have been able to remain ignorant of a little right-wing shibboleth they like to call “parents’ rights”. In which case, Ha! You apparently weren’t lucky enough, you bastard!

“Parents’ rights”, like most right-wing euphemisms, is a bold attempt to lobby for a form of abuse with the trappings of a rights movement, so you can pretty much guess exactly which group this little “movement” wants to justify abusing.

To even better summarize, this proud band of freedom fighters trying to undo systemic oppression is the moniker a handful of Real True Christians TM who firmly believe that women and children are the rightful owned property of the “man of the house” use when they want to argue that said property can be used as they see fit in terms of things like ruining their lives by denying them an education, having the “right” to physically abuse or sexually abuse them in the name of “discipline”, or marrying them off to their favorite gay sex partner in order to “keep them in the family”.

Which means that when they get their knickers in a twist, it usually means good things for children and satirists everywhere.

Shorter (the port’s fine by me):

  • Every parent should have the right to keep their artifact children in perfect ignorance! Also Obama and Holder still insist on being black at us.

Yeah, pretty much.

And in addition to the usual fuckwittery, it turns out this particular iteration is also a two-fer in that it is an attempt to diminish asylum laws as well. Because what do those uppity little bitches and faggots whining about “I’m going to be raped and murdered if I stay here” need political asylum for? Those illustrious citizenship rights should only be doled out to the nuttiest Snickers bars that the white enclaves of first-world Europe can produce.

No, seriously, the central “argument” of his post is crying over the fates of those whose “suffering at the hands of an oppressive government” consisted of “we broke the law by refusing to educate our children, thus depriving them of equal opportunity, so the German government sued us and started having to involve their version of Social Services (I like to imagine their version contains at least 12% more whips) and WAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!”

Because of course, to the type of abusers who feel that motherfucking children have too much relative power to them, those are the only type of overprivileged douches that matter.

Though I do love this little bit of unintentional honesty in the midst of this extended crying jag for the “rights” of terrible parents:

Under our president’s scheme, educating children means producing multicultural, socially-aware, environmentally-conscious, Progressive-minded citizens

Oh yes! The horror! The horror!


‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. Huh, turns out the port sells actual mangos, whodaknown? We are aware of all Internet traditions.™


 

Comments: 161

 
 
 

Also, parents have the right – no, duty – to sacrifice their child on a bloody altar, if commanded to do so by a mad God.

 
 

It’s all about property rights with these bozos.

I’m still mightily pissed at the case, about 10-15 years ago where a young woman (High School, or just out) discovered she was pregnant after she and her boyfriend broke uo, chose to have the baby, who was adopted by a childless couple. When the little girl was about 3-4, ex-boyfriend found out and demanded *his* child, despite the fact he was married to someone else and already had at least one child with her. Sadly, the courts sided with him, he took his property, and changed her name! That was what convinced me it was all about his property for me. She was old enough to know who she was and have some memories, but he wanted to make her all his. I hope she’s doing well, in spite of her rat if a father.

 
 

Okay, try this: cover up the bottom half of this yutz’s face and just look at his eyes.

Pleasant dreams, kiddies…………………………….

 
 

If Dad tells you to meet him down on Highway 61, DON’T GO.

 
 

Pleasant dreams, kiddies…………………………….
Substance McGravitas is animating that meatsack even now.

 
 

Is this related to a similar OUTRAGE whereof Tbogg told us a few weeks ago?

 
 

Dear me, was this epistle produced on a personal computing device? Surely his father lacked the knowledge required to use a personal computing device. Ergo it is A CRIME AGAINST GOD AND ALL THAT IS GOOD that he knows how to do so!

I recommend a prolonged vacation in the scorpion pit where he may ponder the error of his ways.

Also, operating an automobile. I bet his great-grandfather didn’t know how to do that!

 
 

Under our president’s scheme, educating children means producing multicultural, socially-aware, environmentally-conscious, Progressive-minded citizens

About that “multiculturalism” shit? If you think your little white snowflakes are going to be able to function in an America where white people will soon be the minority and a world where countries like Brazil, South Africa, India and most East Asian countries are competing with the old familiar Europe-based world order on equal terms…

… well, then, you’re welcome to home school them. But stop bitching that public schools aren’t just showing kids six hours a day of The Andy Griffith Show and promising them that it’s the only thing they’ll ever need to know about the grown-up world. Because, well, it’s not. Sabotage your children’s future on your own dime, don’t make the rest of us do the same to ours.

 
Spengler Dampniche
 

Children are property in the same way corporations are people. Or in other words, SHUT UP, LIBS.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

According to our esteemed Attorney General, the right to choose the best education for your a German child in Germany is not a fundamental individual liberty for Germans, in Germany, under German law. When it comes to the education of our German children in Germany, the German government – not the parents – is the final authority.

There, that’s better.

 
 

My slightly philosophical take:
Rights apparently can mean two things: aristocratic rights where the government is forbidden from stopping the powerful from exercising their power and democratic rights where the principle is that everyone should have roughly the same rights (and therefore the powerful need to be restrained so the less powerful have some opportunity to exercise their rights).
Or on a less philosophical take:
Asshole rights to be assholes to the maximum extent possible. Human rights to be human to the maximum extent possible.

 
 

Asshole rights to be assholes to the maximum extent possible.

Slice an authoritarian in half* and you find he is a conditional anarchist** all the way through.

*Not that I am suggesting a particular course of action.
**That is, someone who thinks they cannot be restrained by laws, but everyone else must behave in a lawful manner towards them.

 
Quaker in a Basement
 

The hell? Wouldja get a load of the shnozz on that guy?

 
 

Okay, I had to dig for a bit to find anything objective on this case, because if you just use Google all you get are hundreds of wingnut sites screaming “OBAMA HATES HOMESCHOOLING!” About the best source I could find was this post from 2010, concerning the legal ramifications of the case. The thrust of it is that evangelicals are using this as a test case (and a media circus, obviously) to make some point about homeschooling being a human right.

What none of these braying jackasses ever seem to note is that this has nothing to do with homeschooling and everything to do with asylum laws. The purpose of asylum has been to literally save lives – we’re not in the practice of sending refugees back into war zones or into the waiting hands of genocidal maniacs. Most people still end up getting sent back, usually because the judge finds some technical excuse (“Yes, you were tortured by your government, but you weren’t tortured by your government because of your race, were you? Asylum denied.”). They must have found a really tame judge to hear this one, is all I’m saying. How is it that homeschoolers are considered a “social group” but journalists (who are usually denied) are not?

 
 

But D, don’t you know right-wing nutjobs are more oppressed than anyone ever in the history of the world? We know this is true because they never fucking shut up about it.

 
 

Yeah! How dare anyone curtail their God-given urges and impulses?

If they are moved to scam some old folks out of their life savings, rape a few teenagers, shoot some darkies and homos and then go home and beat their kids senseless, it is because they are moved by the spirit of the Lord. Let no one dare gainsay them!

 
 

Okay, I had to dig for a bit to find anything objective on this case,

I typed the family name into google. Top listing was a National Peeyoo link which I quickly skipped over. Scanning for a reliable and credible source I noticed an Al Jazeera article. Just what the doctor ordered.

 
 

You know who else tried to make kids in Germany go to school????

Also, too: How lazy are the S,N! posters getting? They’re apparently just finding the funniest-looking douchebags they can and running the pictures as is, without even having the decency to Photoshop them sitting on a toilet.

 
 

I didn’t read the article – no way am I clicking on that.

If we’re talking about German school requirements, this was an issue for some of our pilots when we opened our base in Cologne and they found out they wouldn’t be allowed to home-school their kids there.

 
 

Dear me, was this epistle produced on a personal computing device? Surely his father lacked the knowledge required to use a personal computing device. Ergo it is A CRIME AGAINST GOD AND ALL THAT IS GOOD that he knows how to do so!

I think it was written on a wall by a disembodied, flaming finger. Mene Mene Tekel Ithinkishallnowbesick.

 
 

Is that the guy’s nose, or is he eating a tomato?

 
 

Is that the guy’s nose, or is he eating a tomato?

Karl Maldenosis. One gets it from imbibing alcohol freely for decades.

 
 

In this case the flaming finger had poo and boogies under the nail.

Ithinkishallnowbesick.

That was … delightfully random.

…they can and running the pictures as is, without even having the decency to Photoshop them sitting on a toilet.

There’s Oliver lurking in the background.

 
 

The truth is you never should trust

anybody who wears a bow tie.

A cravat is supposed to point down,

to accentuate the genitals.

Why do you want to trust somebody

whose tie points out to accentuate his ears?

 
 

Is that the guy’s nose, or is he eating a tomato?
Some kind of external mind-controlling parasite. Or perhaps a conjoined twin.

If “wanting to home-school” grants automatic admission to the US, prepare for an influx from El Salvador and Guatemala where state education is also compulsory… not to mention Albania, Brazil, China and Turkey.

 
 

The truth is you never should trust
anybody who wears a bow tie.

Particularly someone whose bow tie is made from the German flag.

 
 

Why do you want to trust somebody

whose tie points out to accentuate his ears?

I think he wanted something wider than the gin blossom above his mouth.

 
 

I found this nugget over there.
“Obama has issued at least 147 executive orders before he started his second term of horror. All are designed to fuel and support his growing and corrupt dictatorship. From the beginning of his regime, he has taken over the private sector and attempted to crush state and local rights with these orders. A recent one merges the federal government with the private sector. He has built the Saul Alinsky reasons for his “kill lists,” “emergency powers,” and “martial law this and that.”
http://www.renewamerica.com/columns/roth/130326

Beware of martial law this and that for it tis the worst kind.

 
 

Oh yeah? Marshall law this!!!

Also, killlists – is that anything like elitists?

 
 

Beware of martial law this and that for it tis the worst kind.

Worse than martial law this, that and the other?

 
 

Ahh, yes, Christians and their special rights under our law.

I don’t recall the amendment or anything ever voted upon in the US, but apparently we must enshrine their special benefits forever. Including their colonies round the world.

 
 

In order of black helicopter jackbooted oppressional horrifictude:
Martial law this and that.
Martial law this that and the other.
Various and sundry martial law.
Common or garden martial law.
Artialmay awlay
Martial law, schmartial law.
Martial whatevs.

 
 

“Obama has issued at least 147 executive orders before he started his second term of horror

According to the New Yorker Obama’s issued the fewest of any president for 100 years, so the years since Grover Cleveland have obviously been HELL for this guy.

 
 

Ahh, yes, Christians and their special rights under our law.

NO SPECIAL RIGHTS FOR THEIR FREAKY LIFESTYLE CHOICES.

 
 

Speaking of martial law?

http://www.nowtheendbegins.com/blog/?p=12838

 
 

RELATED STORY: Congress Introduces HJ RES 15 Bill To Give Obama A Third Term

Please keep in mind that this story is zero percent “conspiracy theory”, and 100% actual breaking news.

“H.J.Res. 15 proposes repealing presidential term limits. Rep. Serrano (D-NY), the resolution’s sponsor, has proposed similar legislation in every congressional session since 1997 — during the tenure of presidents from both parties. None of the resolutions has ever made it to a floor vote.”

 
 

What’s Mitt been up to, let’s take a look shall we … Yup, still a douche.

“Speaking with conservative radio pundit Dennis Miller…

Speaking of falls from grace, how do you know your political career is over? They book you with Dennis Miller. How do you know your comedy career is over? You are Dennis Miller, eighth-tier radio host. Let us continue.

…Romney explained that while campaign life was “exciting,” he’s fine with being outside of what he called “the bubble.” “Being in your own charter aircraft, having the Secret Service accompany you everywhere you go and outside your front door at night — I mean, it’s really quite an unusual thing and kind of exciting,” Romney explained. “But I have to admit, being able to go back to our own life, and going to the grocery store and shopping on my own is kind of nice.” “It’s good to live a normal life again,” Romney added.

Read more: Mitt Romney Can Still Make You Hate Him – Oh, Shut Up, Chatsworth – Esquire http://www.esquire.com/blogs/politics/Mitt_Romney_Can_Still_Make_You_Hate_Him#ixzz2OmPHl71E

 
 

Speaking of martial law?

That has got to be the world’s most powerful weed they’re using.

Please keep in mind that this story is zero percent “conspiracy theory”

Is that an “I am not a witch” disclaimer I hear? If you feel the need to put that at the beginning of your story…

In response to a recent increase in crime, Paragould Mayor Mike Gaskill and Police Chief Todd Stovall

Yep, you read that right. They’re blaming Obama for the actions of a mayor and a police chief.

I mean, what’s Obama supposed to do? Trespass on the sacred prerogatives of states’ rights (or, in this case, local districts) enshrined in the constitution? Well, gee! Welcome to the left wing, bros! Took you long enough!

From comments;

give me liberty, or give me death

“Your proposal is acceptable!”

 
 

I think I hit a mother lode of crazy

Is the new Pope the antichrist?
http://www.nowtheendbegins.com/blog/?p=13519

Muslims Set Up $1 Billion Fund To Steal Jerusalem From The Jews
http://www.nowtheendbegins.com/blog/?p=13533
Money quote:
“Trying to say that the Jews have no connection to Jerusalem would be as absurd as saying the Yankees have no connection to the Bronx, that France has no connection to the Eiffel Tower, or that peanut butter has nothing to do with jelly. It is insanity. Yet, that is exactly the theme of the latest Muslim jihad against Israel and the Jews.”

Brilliant!

 
 

Which takes precedence? Martial law or Shania law?

 
 

Pupienus Maximus said,
March 27, 2013 at 15:37

What Pup said. With sprinkles on top.

 
 

You need the martial law to impose the Shania law. How else will the mandatory gay marriages be enforced. Somebody has to force the hetero guys to “Feel like a woman”
Also,
http://www.thespoof.com/news/world/51418/canada-to-introduce-shania-law

 
 

Slice an authoritarian in half*
*Not that I am suggesting a particular course of action.

Whyever not? It could dispose of a substantial subset of our problems.

and you find he is a conditional anarchist** all the way through.
**That is, someone who thinks they cannot be restrained by laws, but everyone else must behave in a lawful manner towards them.

Very astute observation, Shakezula: I’d not consciously noticed that before. It also depends on the laws – they’d like to restrain all the things that people do in private that don’t hurt others, but loudly proclaim their own right to do nasty dangerous/unpleasant things to others.

 
 

Obama has issued at least 147 executive orders before he started his second term of horror. All are designed to fuel and support his growing and corrupt dictatorship.

The Wackyweedia only lists 146 — Obama’s 147th (#13636, Improving Critical Infrastructure Cybersecurity) belongs to his second term — but of course the writer may know of a Double Secret Probation unlisted one.

Order #13523 — Half-Day Closing of Executive Departments and Agencies on Thursday, December 24, 2009 — that was a major step towards tyranny.

 
 

With Obama Reelection, Martial Law Quietly Emerges In Small Town America

So the town has a serious crime problem. Has had, for years. In frustration the mayor and chief of police go over the top. One wonders whether the author is knowingly suckering his readers (both of them) or if the two events are causally linked in his mind.

 
 

One wonders whether the author is knowingly suckering his readers (both of them) or if the two events are causally linked in his mind.

I always figured that for most of their propagandists, it was both. They start out writing articles that rile up wingnuts just because of the paycheck, not because they believe it, but as they rise through the ranks they gradually swallow the ideology, partly because they’re surrounded by people spouting it, partly because just for their own self-image, a lot of them *have* to believe it; the alternative is that they’re not just lying, but stirring up really, really ugly and often deadly things just for a paycheck.

The author could be “lying for a good cause,” too; yes, this particular story is bullshit, but we know Obama wants to do it, and if not that, then other things that are just as horrific, so we’re not really lying, just helping the public to see the truth…

I don’t think people like this are lying in a straight-up “no Mom, I didn’t take the cookies, honest! [munch, munch]” kind of way so much as living in a world where truth and falsehood matter so little that they couldn’t tell which was which anymore even if they wanted to.

 
Veiled Portishead Reference
 

That’s what they want you to think, Smut. Clearly order 13523 is a coded reference to socialist dystopian trip hop song “Half Day Closing”.

Through the times of lasting love
When parents talked of things tried and tested
It don’t feel the same

 
 

The hell? Wouldja get a load of the shnozz on that guy?

Is that a nose, or a tumor?
.

 
 

They’d like to restrain all the things that people do in private that don’t hurt others, but loudly proclaim their own right to do nasty dangerous/unpleasant things to others.

They are also the source of 99.9% of all shrieking about precious tax dahllers. They are virulently opposed to anything that helps keep people from starving to death in the street, and are under the impression they get to pick and choose where “their” money goes every single fucking day.

Doesn’t quite work that way, shitsticks.

 
 

Also too: This gets my vote for the most moronic argument in defense of DOMA (passed 16 years before DADT was killed) that I have encountered … in the past five minutes.

“We don’t want somebody, if they are going to be transferred in the military from West Point to Fort Sill in Oklahoma, to resist the transfer because they are going to lose some benefits.”

THe PaST is ProLogUIzed!

 
 

My vote for teh awesomenestest toilet-shop EVAH would go for this masterpiece:

http://www.sadlyno.com/archives/35907.html

And the title’s great, too!

 
It's not hatred, it's heritage...!
 

We NEED to restrain all the things that people do in private that don’t hurt others.

And yes, naturally, I loudly proclaim my own right to do nasty dangerous/unpleasant things to others.

It’s the American Way!

 
 

Snickers bars?

Pfft. More like Payday.

Or at least a Baby Ruth (floating in the gene pool…)

 
Helmut Monotreme
 

tap… tap… tap….
is this thing on?

 
 

Meeting the Major, tonight. Hope he brings a chicken.
.

 
 

Where’s he going to park the 757?

 
 

Where’s he going to park the 757?

BNA, I presume. Don’t think John C. Tune can park it.
.

 
 

Under our president’s scheme, educating children means producing multicultural, socially-aware, environmentally-conscious, Progressive-minded citizens

They forgot empathy, but maybe that was implied.

My mother is a fellow traveler to that shit (and abusive, and I think I know her DSM IV designation). I wonder if she was pissed that I didn’t grow up anti-Semitic like her on account of having Jewish friends and classmates. Maybe she thought I would continue to secretly h8 j000z while getting along with them. Keep the (Jew-burning) flame alive!

 
 

Apropos of everything, I am motherfucking tired of this motherfucking stupid Supreme Court!

 
 

“Yes, you were tortured by your government, but you weren’t tortured by your government because of your race, were you? Asylum denied.”).

Haitians

They must have found a really tame judge to hear this one, is all I’m saying. How is it that homeschoolers are considered a “social group” but journalists (who are usually denied) are not?

Germans. White Germans.

Case closed.

 
 

Hey, JP, give the Major my love. Oh, and bbkf and tigris and Shakezula and Dr KN and jennifer and Cerb and all the other women here. I just know I speak for us all when I say – Lucky You, going on a Hott Date with our favourite flyer.

 
 

If we’re talking about German school requirements, this was an issue for some of our pilots when we opened our base in Cologne and they found out they wouldn’t be allowed to home-school their kids there.

Oh, FFS, they have a mandatory religion class, the parents pick if it’s going to be Lutheran, Kat-o-lick-er, or “Ethik” (non-denominational? I’m sure it has a Christian bias. Being Jewish or Muslim in Germany blows chunks, probably doubly if you’re a kid. OTOH, lots of German youth are atheists.).

Why would they object to some good pure Aryan education? Oh, is it that segment on the Holocaust they put in the curriculum since the early 1980s? Yeah. That might be a problem.

Might not want to let the kids walk outside, either. They might run into a Holocaust remembrance monument or a Jewish museum or an anti-racism protest.

And they could learn German and that might lead to reading Der Spiegel online.

 
 

I do find this funny, though–my mother would have had some sort of racist-gasm if she could have sent us to German schools.

She honestly bitches a storm about Blutrecht despite no actual plans to emigrate there since that would be work (like learning more than five words of fuckin’ German) and my mother doesn’t do that kind of shit.

 
 

If “wanting to home-school” grants automatic admission to the US, prepare for an influx from El Salvador and Guatemala where state education is also compulsory… not to mention Albania, Brazil, China and Turkey.

Yep, those sound like the well-educated, ambitious, easily-assimilated model immigrants that we need in the USA!

Fuck me. Those fucking right-wing assholes. Fuck that noise. I say open the spigot and invite all the Salvadorans, Mexicanos, and Haitians who we can fit on a Carnival ship to come here and open restaurants, pick crops, provide in-home care, etc we can take. Send their kids to fucking school for free (that should incentivize the Haitians not to enslave their poor cousins’ kids). Make them citizens, raise the wages, we all prosper. Culture improves too.

And tell those fucking German fundies to go find some other sucker country to take them. I hear they’re looking for farm hands in Madagascar.

 
 

Lest anyone forget “Dove World Outreach” Pastor Terry “Burn the Koran” Jones brought in a number of Germans on special visas as “refugees” from Germany, then used them as slave volunteer labor in his furniture business.

The Florida court determined that is was not slavery since there is no slavery in Florida, just as there is no homosexuality in China, so obvs they were volunteers and if they are now broke and starving it’s their own damn fault.

 
 

BNA, I presume. Don’t think John C. Tune can park it.

It’d be really cool if he parked it in front of your place.

 
 

Under our president’s scheme, educating children means producing multicultural, socially-aware, environmentally-conscious, Progressive-minded citizens race-mixing.

Fixed.

 
Helmut Monotreme
 

Apropos of everything, I am motherfucking tired of this motherfucking stupid Supreme Court!

Snakes on a bench? I would pay money to see Samuel L. Jackson clean house at the supreme court.

 
 

It’d be really cool if he parked it in front of your place.

Parallel to the scooter.

 
 

It’d be really cool if he parked it in front of your place.

Would not advise. The COA just towed an RV out of here this week.
.

 
 

Oddly, our quiet little condo complex on the river had become a place to park stolen vehicles for “cooling off.” Or was, until the cops got wise to it.
.

 
 

If the Major parked out front, I’m guessing they’d need to bring a bigger tow truck.

 
Helmut Monotreme
 

Oddly, our quiet little condo complex on the river had become a place to park stolen vehicles for “cooling off.” Or was, until the cops got wise to it.

Is cooling off where they park the vehicle for a few days to see if it has a lojack or other GPS enabled alarm?

 
 

Meeting the Major, tonight.

Say hello for me, he’s a good man to hang out with.

Hope he brings a chicken.

That’s what Ernie Anastos said!

 
 

Animating the meatsack.

 
 

Meatsacking the animate.

 
 

Where’s he going to park the 757?

If you all knew how hard this made me laugh you’d think I was high or something.

#EasilyAmused

 
 

Major Kong is a righteous good fellow who bought me beers. He’s the first Sadlynaught I’ve met in person. I told him if he was an Atriot, I could’ve had a half-dozen locals turn out to greet him. 🙂
.

 
 

Major Kong is a righteous good fellow who bought me beers.

Hear! Hear!

That was fun.

Awesome, I imagine you gentlemen had some quality cat stories to share.

 
 

The Onion got the “parents rightsers” movement figgered out.

FBI To Require Background Checks For Child-Care Providers
Child-havers will continue to go unscreened.

Parents across the U.S. are hailing the move as a step in the right direction.

“I feel better knowing that daycare providers are thoroughly checked for any possible criminal history,” said Texarkana, AR, convicted child molester and father of five Darryl Lee Forster. “I don’t want my kid getting touched funny by no stranger.”

“Gonna make me a little blond boy,” Forster added.

 
 

That was fun.

Some Atriots spoke up and said they’d been reading your diaries at Kos, btw.
.

 
 

The fact is, real americans are not interested in faggots. we want freedom, and god, and hard work.

 
Lurking Canadian
 

In the late 1970s, my parents were involved in the Cambodian refugee community. I mean, these were people who had literally fled through the jungle in to Thailand or Laos, one jump ahead of the Khmer Rouge. And even for them, refugee status was not a slam dunk.

This family was living in one of the most pleasant democracies on the planet, and we’re supposed to believe they are persecuted because they’ll be fined if they don’t send little Hansel and Gretel to school? Jesus wept.

 
 

This family was living in one of the most pleasant democracies on the planet, and we’re supposed to believe they are persecuted because they’ll be fined if they don’t send little Hansel and Gretel to school?

Indeed. What did they expect? The Germans to just say “Go ahead, do whatever you want?”

This is Germany we’re talking about. Their favorite pastime is making rules and enforcing them.

 
Lurking Canadian
 

I demand refugee status in America because the fascist Ontario Provincial Police will fine me if my son isn’t in a CSA-approved car seat. Power to the people! Wolverines!

 
 

we want freedom, and god, and hard work.

“Here’s your flag patch, your Bible and your shovel. [cocks rifle] Now, commence to diggin’, boy.”
.

 
 

Now, commence to diggin’, boy.

You need to be wearing a cowboy hat and mirrored sunglasses when you say that.

 
 

You don’t mess with the man with no eyes Luke!!!

 
 

Sometimes nothing can be a real cool hand

 
 

Power to the people! Wolverines!

One of those things don’t sound like the other.

 
 

You don’t mess with the man with no eyes Luke!!!

Damn straight!

 
 

“Ignorance is our National Heritage”

Ever since St, Ronnie showed us the way.

 
 

In re Germans and making rules, etc:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EQyrd1BwusQ

My side of the family are (mainly) Eastern European Ashkenazim and not from Germany itself, but we are still OCD enough about rules and regulations that it drives my wife up the wall: I don’t know how she was able to stand it when she spent a semester in Germany (lots of Apfelkorn, as I understand it). I’m so Ashkenazic that I cannot even manage to order lunch in certain Israeli-oriented places unless my wife shows me the ropes (“what do I do now? do I stand in a line to order at the counter? I don’t see the line? but there are also no waitstaff for me to sit down and place an order from my table. so how do I order?”).

 
 

I think he’s on to something. We obviously need to ban spoons – at least the high capacity spoons.

Seems to me it would be better to raise money for the under-funded police force than to raise money for more guns. At least they are doing background checks, what could possibly go wrong?

 
 

We obviously need to ban spoons

The acoustic musicians I play with banned spoons long ago, it’s in the Commandments;

5. Rattle ye not the tableware nor ply the tools of the washerwoman’s trade for this is an abomination unto me.

 
 

5. Rattle ye not the tableware nor ply the tools of the washerwoman’s trade for this is an abomination unto me.

Clifton Chenier is rolling over in his grave.

 
 

Imagine being one of those kids that they’re using as political human hackeysacks.

[ insert pithy wit to dilute white-hot rage here ]

 
 

Freedom’s just another word for shut the hell up:

A group of nearly two dozen Republican lawmakers is threatening to pull state funding from an Iowa community college unless they defund an anti-bullying program that the lawmakers say bullies Christians and conservatives.

The Des Moines Area Community College is one of several sponsors of the Iowa Governors Conference on LGBTQ Youth – scheduled to be held next week. The program was founded by Iowa Safe Schools.

The college’s Young Americans for Freedom chapter filed a Freedom of Information Act request and discovered that tax and tuition dollars were being used to cover the costs.

“It’s outrageous,” said Jake Dagel, chairman of the YAF chapter at the college. “My school has decided to use the money that I funded them – to go out and fund an event that’s bullying people with my beliefs.”

 
 

Alleged son of Westboro Baptist Church leader attacked in publicity stunt by naked 500lb man who burst out of bathroom, sat on him and shouted: ‘Who’s your daddy?’

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2300604/David-Phelps-son-Westboro-Baptist-Church-leader-attacked-naked-35-STONE-man-hilarious-publicity-stunt-video.html

 
 

Sounds like your typical TalEvangical sexy funtimes to me.

 
 

But Dagel questioned whether Christians or conservatives would be welcomed at the event.

“Being a Christian or a conservative – you would feel like an outcast,” he said. “This is not diversity. Any organization or event that targets individuals is absolutely not diverse.”

Wait, so people feeling unwelcome or like outcasts is bullying? When are Christians and conservatives going to start practicing this? Because nobody would need a damn conference then.

 
 

If only a Young American for Freedom was nearby to tell them they were free to speak about such issues.

 
 

“Being a Christian or a conservative – you would feel like an outcast,” he said. “This is not diversity. Any organization or event that targets individuals is absolutely not diverse.”

A conservative has no more place at an event about gay people’s equal rights, or any event involving “diversity,” than Osama Bin Laden does at an interfaith rally.

That’s not the events’ fault. That’s their fault. If you can’t feel comfortable interacting with different people in a context where you’re not dominating them, you will not feel welcome at an event that treats them as your equals. Period.

 
 

oh hai! Us girls are off to arizona to visit the madre and the asshat…stay tuned for hilarious updates….

 
 

Clifton Chenier is rolling over in his grave.

In the unlikely event that he had wanted to sit in with us he wouldn’t have needed any hardware. Impeccable phrasing, great vocal stylist. That CJ can sing some too.

 
 

Tire changed, and it Feels So Gooood…

Rained like a sombitch all day. I hope the Major had an uneventful, boring drive down I-40, today.
.

 
 

oh hai! Us girls are off to arizona to visit the madre and the asshat…stay tuned for hilarious updates….

Stay away from wackos, and consider a trip to the meteor crater site.

 
 

Fighting Back
Those who counsel that the GOP should move left are wrongheaded or Democrats, or both.
By LIZ CHENEY

“Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We didn’t pass it on to our children in the bloodstream. The only way they can inherit the freedom we have known is if we fight for it, protect it, defend it and then hand it to them with the well-taught lessons of how they in their lifetime must do the same. And if you and I don’t do this, then you and I may well spend our sunset years telling our children and our children’s children what it once was like in America when men were free.”

—Ronald Reagan, March 30, 1961

President Reagan’s words, spoken 52 years ago this weekend, still ring true, with one modification. If we don’t defend our freedoms now against the onslaught of President Obama’s policies, we won’t have to wait until our sunset years for American freedom to be a distant memory.

1961, huh? Haven’t some populations in American become substantially more free since then?

 
 

If I wanna sacrifice my babby to Yog-Sothoth then by gum I’m a gonna.

First Amendment!

 
 

Rained like a sombitch all day. I hope the Major had an uneventful, boring drive down I-40, today.

Not too bad. Made it to Memphis around 1:00 PM

Headed to work in a bit.

 
 

“They might run into a Holocaust remembrance monument or a Jewish museum or an anti-racism protest.”

Or the ultimate representative of Jewish anti-racism and diversity, a Zionist!

Sorry, not-a-gator, but we pissed away any advantage we had in that are on the sands of Palestine. Nope, in that area, we are just like everbody else, even possibly more so.

 
 

“1961, huh? Haven’t some populations in American become substantially more free since then?”

Sure that’s true, but compare the numbers: A minority of people are freer, yes. But the majority has lost its FREEDOM TO DISCRIMINATE!!
And once Americans can no longer discriminate by race, religion or ickiness, well, it’s like trying to catch a greased slippery slope!

 
 

A minority of people are freer, yes.

I think women count as a minority because they’re smaller.

 
 

“I’m so Ashkenazic that I cannot even manage”

Yes, but think of the certified, undeniable extra 15 IQ points you get free, gratis, and all the musical and mathematical talent stuffed into you.
And there’s no denying that Askenazis were the most effective Zionists, too!

So really, a few inabilities in the Horn&Hardart won’t hold you back.

 
 

President Reagan’s words, spoken 52 years ago this weekend, still ring true, with one modification. some medication.

 
 

WOOHOO! When, on Monday, yahoo weather on my ifone forecast 75 and sunny for today I said damn you for taunting me aint no way that’s gonna stand. Well fuck me, here it is Saturday and the forecast is 75 and fucking sunny! Lil prep on the bikes then we’re gonna ride a ziggyzaggy route to Astoria for some seafood. WOOHOO! FIRST WARM RIDE OF THE SEASON!!!!!

 
 

One day spring will arrive in Nashville, too. Dammit.
.

 
 

It’s official. I am digging out my slippers and warm pants for the first time this evening.
If Pup and I both note the seasons have changed, they’ve changed.

 
 

It’s official. I am digging out my slippers and warm pants for the first time this evening.

If you’re going to dig ’em out more than once an evening, your seasons cycle quite a bit more frequently than ours, I say. 😉
.

 
 

And if you and I don’t do this, then you and I may well spend our sunset years telling our children and our children’s children what it once was like in America when men were free

Men, at least the white ones, were free… women, not so much.

 
 

Well, the catblog is averaging seven hits a day… so here’s Curly & LarryElvis, chillaxin’.
.

 
 

here it is Saturday and the forecast is 75 and fucking sunny!

Dear sir,

With all due respect, shut up.

Sincerely,

Mid-Atlantic Regionites

 
 

It was a fairly nice day here in Huntington.

I’ve been hearing what I think are the same 3 motorcycles cruise past my hotel all afternoon and it’s really starting to get on my nerves.

 
 

Well, the catblog is averaging seven hits a day… so here’s Curly & LarryElvis, chillaxin’.

I love Curly, he reminds me of a Wall of Tabby we “inherited” from my grandmother. You could wrestle with that cat like you’d tussle with a dog.

Dear sir,
With all due respect, shut up.
Sincerely,
Mid-Atlantic Regionites

This afternoon wasn’t bad… sunny and sixtyish. I think I’ll take my annual vernal pool hike next week.

 
 

I love Curly, he reminds me of a Wall of Tabby we “inherited” from my grandmother. You could wrestle with that cat like you’d tussle with a dog.

Curly’s a lover, not a fighter. Just a big marshmallow of a love sponge. L.E. is the one that likes to wrassle, but he plays too rough.
.

 
 

L.E. is the one that likes to wrassle, but he plays too rough.

The teeth and claws at the same time trick is always fun. Feels about like sticking my hand in a Cuisinart.

 
 

As a couple of regulars are all too aware, the Milwaukee area has been unseasonably cold.

At some point (Wisconsinites can guess when) the wife and I bought our first snowblower — we’re transplanted Californians in our second winter. She spurged on a really nice one. Anyway, I filled it up with gas and used it twice. Nice machine, allowed me to get to work, heh.

Turns out you’re supposed to store it off-season completely empty of gas. The method is to run it until it’s out of gas … I was embarrassed today because I had to run teh fuckin thing for two hours, loud as hell, to get the gas out. (The manual forbids siphoning.)

 
 

Speaking of loud as hell motors.

When I invent my time machine – before I kill Hitler I’m going back to 1901 and taking out William Harley and Arthur Davidson.

 
 


Stay away from wackos, and consider a trip to the meteor crater site.

god almighty he is a fucking a-hole…also too i am sunburnt…and do not have enough of a buzz…

 
 

Major, we live right next door to a car wash. During my two hours of environment-destroying gas-wasting, I listened for changes. At some point I heard loud engine noises, and thought “WTF? Is that what a premium snow blower that’s finally running out of gas sounds like?” No, it was a dude at the car wash on a Harley, revving and waiting, revving and waiting.

Do people take their bikes to these self-service car washes? Seemed odd.

 
 

bbkf – Who’s taking care of adorable puppy dog while you’re in Arizona?

 
 

What’s this about venereal pools? Sounds unhygienic.

Also, that is not rattlesnake fern, it is a ground pine, which is related to ferns.

/PlantNerdery

It was a fairly nice day here in Huntington.

West Va.?

 
 

West Va.?

Yep. I have a 3-day layover here. I’m renting a car and driving home tomorrow.

 
 

I’m renting a car and driving home tomorrow.

Mountain mama, take me home, country road.

 
 

Drive faster! I hear banjo music!

 
 

You’ve got a purty mouth.

 
 

Huntington is actually pretty cosmopolitan… for West Virginia, anyway.
.

 
 

What’s this about venereal pools? Sounds unhygienic.

Those amphibians don’t use protection.

Also, that is not rattlesnake fern, it is a ground pine, which is related to ferns.

Thanks for looking out… lycopodium?

 
 

god almighty he is a fucking a-hole…also too i am sunburnt…and do not have enough of a buzz…

Fox on 24-7?

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

Huntington is actually pretty cosmopolitan

Hell yeah that’s where Don Surber lives, aint it?

… for West Virginia, anyway.

I’ll take “faint praise” for $500, Alex.

 
 

Hell yeah that’s where Don Surber lives, aint it?

Maybe, but he works for the Charleston paper, which is over an hour east.
.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

Oh, fantastic ride today. Ended up having lunch in Manzanita after a superb blast down Lewis and Clark hwy/rd/thing and just prior to serious twisty carving on famous Rte. 53 (a destination road – people ride hundreds of miles just to experience its awesomeness). Gawdam I am sore and tired. 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

Bulleitt (91% rye! rye whiskey) is an excellent pain killer. But given my extreme soreness (I’m geting way too fucking old to be showing the younguns how to carve corners all day long) I just might add a vicodin in a bit ….

 
 

I rode to Cafe Coco this morning. And then to Mapco to get beer, in the rain. And a Powerbowl ticket.

All on a new Michelin City Grip.
.

 
 

… in my Maidenform bra!
.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

Playtex or nothing!

 
 

Playtex or nothing!

Trust me — I know you’re all gay an’ all, but… you wouldn’t like the nothing!
.

 
 

bbkf – Who’s taking care of adorable puppy dog while you’re in Arizona?

hubbkf is home with the little bundle…

 
 

Fox on 24-7?

you know it!

… in my Maidenform bra!

made. me. lol. haven’t heard that one in ages…earlier today we met a dude who used to work with my dad way back in the day…when my mom introduced me to him, he called me ‘sally saucer’ which I haven’t been called since i was a tot…it was kinda neat…

 
 

Huntington is actually pretty cosmopolitan

[Laughs very hard and fall out of chair.]

But seriously, folks – W Va. is a gorgeous state and its neighbors only poke fun out of jealously. [Snort]

 
 

Oh, fantastic ride today.

Twas good riding weather up here farther north as well. Rode two-up wif the missus to her dad’s place for Easter, hard cases loaded with dinner fixins and bunny cookies.

Pulled out my backroads cycling book and found a little twisty stretch that was great fun coming home.

But seriously, folks – W Va. is a gorgeous state

Rode through there last fall after we dropped Young Chowderette off at school. It is a gorgeous state, and miles of beautiful two-lane to ride on. Very enjoyable. Never had a problem with the locals either.

 
 

Same here, and I’m in a marriage that produces 1st black presidents, if you know what I mean.

Of course when they ask (and they do ask) we are careful to make it clear we are just visiting and have no plans to move to the area. Because it is understood by all parties that shit would get unpleasant.

 
 

Because it is understood by all parties that shit would get unpleasant.

Well yeah, because LIBERAL!

 
 

Oh, fantastic ride today. Ended up having lunch in Manzanita after a superb blast down Lewis and Clark hwy/rd/thing and just prior to serious twisty carving on famous Rte. 53

Manzanita is a great spot!

Where’d ya eat? “Bread and Ocean” and their super yummeh sammiches? “Lost Coast” for burritos? The pizzza joint (can’t recall the name)? I liked them all.

Did you stop and walk down to Short Sands Beach? None better beach in Oregon s’far as I’m concerned.

I stayed in Manzanita recently also — didn’t travel by motorcycle unfortunately. What made me sore was running from town up to the top of Neahkahnie Mountain and back. Absofuckinglutely beautiful mountain and trail — 8 miles of perfection. And the view! O. M. F. G.

 
 

I can forgive the self-righteous moral scolds for a bit of tortured logic now and then. But this repressed crybag is beating logic with a baseball bat. All these “family values” council azz clowns are con-artists. It would not surprise me a bit if Connors and his bow tie are “friends” with Dr George Rekers.

 
 

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