Why Black Presidents Ruin Father’s Day
So when wingnuts are done being oppressed by Pork Sausage refusing Muslims, they are apparently being oppressed by this.
Timothy Birdnow, American Idiot:
Obama’s Father’s Day
Happy Father’s Day, Sadlies!
On this day we may be calling our two dads, receiving the ill-gotten gains our spawn have retrieved, or sacrificing our father on a Satanic Altar for being a MAN. But while we enjoy this Hallmark-created holiday, we should take time to think of those who cannot enjoy this day with us.
I speak of wingnuts who’ve found this day ruined, RUINED I SAY, by Obama’s perfidious and persistent blackness!
Allow Timothy Birdnow explain:
Shorter (or the last port before Jungle):
- Did you know that people only speak in literal truths and never employ metaphor or other literary devices? It’s true, and therefore Obama is Double Hitler. Also, I have Norman-Bates-sized issues about my mother.
Er… maybe we should take it from the top.
One of President Obama’s more bizarre quirks consists of referring to his “sons” when speaking in public. (Go here to see a partial list of Obama’s other outlandish comments.)
OMG! Secret Robot Family! ELEVENTYONE MUSTCREDIT DRUDGE!
Mr. Obama has done this repeatedly; saying that if he had a son he would look like Trayvon Martin, and saying he wants his daughters to have the same economic opportunity as his sons. Mr. Obama seems to think his family is considerably larger than it appears. Perhaps it is a deep-seated desire to have sons?
Perhaps. Or perhaps it is a deep-seated desire to use rhetoric. But you know, who can say?
Sure, it may seem at first glance like Obama is pointing out that black people don’t find it nearly as hilarious when black kids are shot and no one investigates because those dead kids look a little too close to home, or pointing out that he gives a damn about women getting a fair shake in life because he wants his daughters to have the same advantages he had growing up.
But that’s just how the commie mind control rays get you. Next thing you know, you’re thinking it isn’t really a bad thing to have a black president and you’re not showing up to the Klan rallies anymore.
Mr. Obama has spent his life in a largely matriarchal familial structure. His father did more than dream; he vamoosed while Junior was still in diapers, and his step-father (Mr. Soetoro) seemed to be, well, not that important to young Barry, and he wasn’t around too long. Barry’s male role models were his grandfather and the communist poet Frank Marshall Davis, neither of whom were exactly fathering types. Granted, gramps had wanted a son, and had named his daughter Stanley to make the point, but he seemed to have made his daughter into the son he never had and she appears to have taken the dominant male role in Obama’s life. Stan the wo-man certainly whisked young Barry around enough, smothering him in her feminine charms. There seems to have been estrogen aplenty surrounding Obama, but he lived in a testosterone wilderness, a food desert of the male hormones. Certainly his current circumstances feature an arugula-eating Amazon and two dainty young girls; hardly a he-man universe.
Timothy has issues.
Fuck, Timothy has back issues, Timothy has the whole 90 year run including limited edition specials and variant covers.
All I can say, is I have pity on any woman with low enough self-esteem to date him.
I pray she doesn’t exist.
Dana Milbank calls Obama the first female President.
Well if conservative fucknozzle Dana Milbank thinks he’s a woman, then that certainly proves…?
He wants sons…? He has a secret family…? Francisco Franco is still alive? Work with me crazy person! I can only mock so much!
So did Bonnie Erbe of PBS and Scripps-Howard , who made this claim prior to the 2008 election:
“Still Clinton’s female supporters who are watching Obama’s movement coalesce, solidify and take over should console themselves there will be a woman Democrat in the White House either way if the Democrats win the general election. The nominee will either be a woman with double-X chromosomes, or one with XY chromosomes who votes more like a woman than most with XX.”
And by Marty McFly logic, if some bitter douchenozzle who has never even seen her own vagina (cause that makes you gay, donchaknow) has a giant whiny freakout revealing her own massive issues, then you are honor bound to prove them wrong in the Colloseum of Justice by gutting a live tiger with your bare hands (bear hands also allowed as long as you killed a bear for them (WITH YOUR TEETH)).
And by no means tell these insecure dipshits that treating masculinity like some fragile flower that one must continue to demonstrate by constantly and frantically hating on women and calling people women like it was an insult so that no one suspects that you aren’t “manly” makes you look like the least manly fuck on the planet.
Fuck, Tiny Tim is 300 times the man they’ll ever be because he didn’t cower every moment, worried that the douchebags on AskMen.com might call him a pussy.
Is it a desire to prove his manhood, to sire sons, that drives Obama to claim male children?
Yes, his desire to sire sons, based on his desire to prove his manhood, that drives his strange rhetorical over-reach.
IT’S ALWAYS PROJECTION is not only a truism for these articles, it’s also the reason that we get a direct line view into what these people would be telling their therapist, if they didn’t think mental health was a commie hippie plot to make them love faggot queers.
I don’t care what my dreams suggest! I just think Romney would make the sexiest… I mean yummiest… I mean best, yes best president.
Ernest Hemmingway was dressed as a girl for the first two years of his life by his mother, leading the emotionally-crippled Hemmingway to seek out all the he-man stuff he could, desperately trying to prove to himself he was not in fact a girl.
Yes, totally that one apocryphal incident which may never have happened and which Ernest would have had no real memory of was behind his worship of machismo culture. Not at all the fact that that was the dominant culture he grew up in and that his popularity directly correlated with how “manly” his works were.
Also, someone who spent their third paragraph going on a long “man’s man” worship of masculinity going on a long whine about our culture’s obsession of masculinity is just hilari-
Actually… it’s mostly just sad. A lot of our social problems are caused by the fact that a shit-ton of men have gotten trapped in a toxic masculinity of their own design where they feel to need to excise anything remotely feminine from themselves in fear that not doing so will make them an honorary woman and thus subject to what befalls actual women in our society. Thus trapped, they sabotage chances for romantic and friendly connections as well as spaces where they can be free to be themselves without having to put up a constant defensive barrage of reflexive self-and-female-loathing.
If these men could just watch a ballet, enjoy cooking and cleaning, admit they don’t find sexist jokes all that funny, or just try to have a lifespan longer than 35 without worrying that its a moral failing, they’d be much happier.
And if they were less motivated by their fear of femininity, then we women might actually have a life not constantly under assault by these neurotic pieces of shit.
Oh crap, inadvertent seriousness, um, uh… how about those wingnuts? They sure are crazy, huh? Phew, close call! This nearly turned into a legitimate blog.
Is Obama all that different? Does he desperately need to validate his manhood with sons?
Oops, he did it again!
Random Brittney Spears reference. An unforced, unironic, reference to boot.
Suddenly I see the reason that Timothy so very much felt that… Obama… needed to prove his masculinity all of a sudden.
Yes, Michelle (the pushup queen) invites you to sign a Father’s Day card for the president, the man Native Americans long ago supposedly called the “Great White Father in Washington.”
Apparently Native Americans were snarky bastards. Suddenly I know which side of the “Founders” debate I’m on.
Also, he includes said Father’s Day card, copy and pasted in the middle of his post. Surprisingly it is neither a communist death ray designed to sterilize proud conservative gender warriors, nor is it an imposing picture of the President’s lap rocket reminding all white women of the required fuck during ovulation they must perform with the president so that Mighty Obama may sire a son with his God-sperm.
No, instead, it’s just the president with the kids and a standard “Wish Barack a Happy Father’s Day” message. You know, the sort of standard easy web add-on technique most presidential candidates and actual presidents do to establish a quick and easy “connection” with the electorate.
Yes, that’s correct, wingnuts have become such complete testicle flaps (because damnitt, anything that can push a 10+ pound loadstone while quintupling in size without tearing is only weak on Bizarro Superman’s planet) that they are now feeling oppressed by Facebook ads.
Who would want a Father’s Day card signed by a bunch of strangers?
Most people?
I mean, cards can be nice, and a bunch of signatures on a card, even if it’s from total strangers can give one a warm-fuzzy. Heck, it’s one of the chief “free” ways to show support to people suffering terrible illnesses or other sob stories.
Also, it’s an ad. I doubt Obama even looks at the damn thing what with his busy day hanging out with his kids, being heckled by douchebag Daily Caller stenographers, and RUNNING THE FUCKING WORLD.
Well, the Russian Czar may have; he was proclaimed the father of the Russian People and looked on his role as surrogate papa. Lord knows, Obama loves czars.
Ah, Czar-fear. Truly the most AWESOME of Beckisms.
I mean, it’s basically there so the octogenarian fan-base that Fox News pulls in can go “Oh noes, Czar, that’s a really Russian word and the Russians were the bad guys hassling Patrick Swayze in that one documentary!”
But for anyone who isn’t currently senile, it’s fucking brilliant, because it means wingnuts are angrily denouncing the side that was AGAINST COMMUNISM and thus accidentally agreeing with those who created the Soviet Union.
Cause, see, the Czars were the capitalist exploiters, the ones who saw peasant life as meaningless and left them to die in the streets while funneling all the money to their rich buddies. The people whose reign was so terrible, that the Russian people embraced communism to heal.
Yes, wingnuts, we too have grown tired of the modem Czars. I believe you call them the “job creators”.
Peter the Great was titled “the Great, Father of His Country, Emperor of All the Russias. ” Seems Petey saw himself as the abusive father the people always wanted.
All right, contest time.!
You need to identify whether or not little Timmy is talking about A) his own father, B) the father he wants to be once he finds a 12 year old to kidnap off of John Carson’s lawn (cause with the pushup comment from earlier, apparently he likes his women waif-like, subservient, and with so little life-experience they’d date him), or C) his weekly bondage session with Big Daddy where Big Daddy wears the Nixon mask and calls him a bad little prole.
Given Mr. Obama’s desperate desire to get the approval of the Russians (his famous “reset” meaning craven appeasement) we must assume he has similar ambitions.
Apparently it is Obama who is the one who “looked into Putin’s soul” and “saw he was a great man”, because to wingnuts there was no such president as George W Bush, and we’re now entering year 12 of Obama’s presidency.
Or perhaps Mr. Obama sees himself as the new George Washington, recreating the nation as Mr. Washington first created it. Washington is known as the father of his country, too. At any rate, Barack Obama has some strange notion that he’s the father of us all.
Aw shit, bad mouthing a Founder, hollowed be his teeth?!? That’s gonna get you at least 20 minutes in the Wingnut Penalty Box. And no points for guessing that this will be the one and only section of his piece to get flak from the comments section.
Daren Jonescu has suggested that there is something more, that Obama does not speak of his biological progeny or even with the royal I, but rather believes humanity forms a composite of which he is the end product:
“He is not “all of us,” in monarchical fashion. Rather, we (by which I mean all things in the known universe) are all him. Thus, he can legitimately lay claim to having sons, for all fathers are Obama. He can refer to himself as both Muslim and Christian, for all faiths are Obama. Composite girlfriends can be discussed in detail in a supposed work of non-fiction, for his romantic past includes the infinite list of all possible girlfriends, as all boyfriends are Obama.
He is the world spirit and the end of history.”
Noted dumbass Daren Jonescu (who isn’t even smart enough to manage to be one of the premiere Birthers), came to this startling realization after he smoked what he described as “one flat ass blunt”. Through this complex longitudinal study (because he was lying on his back), he knew it was so. And thus it is truth, for now and for all time.
Truly we liberals will be unable to form enough of a cogent counterargument until Willie Nelson takes a hit of peyote.
Composite, world-spirit, or just over-estrosgenized, Obama has a bizarre view of fatherhood.
Yessiree, …Obama… sure does! Heck, why stop there? I think Obama once ate a bagel, so let’s talk about Obama’s secret family of Orthodox Jews, or the fact that Obama once watched 2001, so he thinks being a father means he’s a Space Baby.
I mean if we’re just going to be pulling IT’S ALWAYS PROJECTION out of our ASS, we might as well get surreal with this shit. I want to hear about how Obama is a suffusion of yellow on the 49th harmonic but only on a quantum lunar sunrise.
This penny ante shit just doesn’t cut it anymore!
Of course, all Progressives see themselves as surrogate fathers to the benighted public. They think the public is so simple-minded that the average joe cannot put the correct shoe on the correct foot without government assistance. Government exists in the Progressive worldview to micromanage the behavior of the People. (This is what Benito Mussolini meant by the term Totalitarianism, which he coined not as a pejorative but as a way of saying that the State should act as an intimately involved father, a helicopter parent involved in all aspects of life.) Barack Obama undoubtedly thinks of himself as the ripest cheese in the Progressive delicatessen, and so envisions himself as the father of fathers.
Progressives are overbearing mothers, not fathers.
I mean, that’s the whole point of that dog whistle, that liberals are limp-wristed worry-worts that don’t want us to blow our hands off with the stick of dynamite or let us give loaded firearms to toddlers like big strong free market daddy does. And that because of those massive vaginas, all of our theories can be immediately ignored like one ignores the wife when she’s babbling her estrogen nonsense about how there’s a cliff up ahead or that people need food and shelter to survive.
How do you fuck up your own dog whistle?!? You invented this shit. You turned it into a death lens for your massive issues and you’re using it to ensure that we’ll never fix our glaring economic and social problems because “that’d make us gay or something”. So how do you fuck that up?!?
How sad do you need to be when you not only fail at logic, writing, and basic common sense, but can’t even successfully pull off wingnut talking points?
I suspect Obama sees himself as a sort of reverse George Washington, a guy who is the father of our NEW country, the remaker of America.
An anti-George-Washington if you will. And since George Washington, like all of our Founding Fathers, is basically just a whiter more American version of Jesus…
Well, that would make Obama sort of an anti-Jesus if you will. An anti-Christ to be more specific. By which I mean he is the Antichrist, in case you haven’t yet figured out what all this shit has been about since early 2008. We think he’s the Antichrist or at least hope we can convince the 27% of Rapture-believing fucknozzles that he’s the Antichrist so that Evangelicals can muster up enough of a fuck to vote in the Mormon they view as equal to a Muslim Satanist.
Yeah… pretty pathetic now that I point that out, really.
“We are the ones we have been waiting for” he once proclaimed, and he believes it.
Now, if Timmy had enough of a brain to try and find an out-of-context statement with an “I” statement, this might not have been the colossally spectacular own goal that it was. Sadly, he ends up using one of the starkest examples of non-ego, where Obama called on all of America to be the people they want to see rather than having everyone wait on a God-King to fix everything.
But I suppose to people so married to the bootheel on humanity’s face that they can see no other option, I guess I can see how they assumed that Obama was using the royal “we” and declaring himself the Blackest King of these United States (what is this president, kemosabe?).
What Obama has sought to foster is a cult of personality, much like tinhorn dictators and Communist strongmen have sought for a long time. He seeks to portray himself as bigger than life, bigger than the average man. And the key to being bigger is to be Il Papa, the father. He wouldn’t be the first man in history to attempt this trick in political life.
Don’t you see?!? By being blackly black black in our whitey white house he’s…. like in our brains, twisting our minds on a daily basis. All I can see now is Obama’s delicious veiny black cock large and twitching just like when Daddy used to plop me naked over his knee and spank me for being such a faggy momma’s boy. It’s assaulting me, over and over, robbing my precious masculinity with its turgid fury. MOMMEE why didn’t you learn your place so Daddy would love me-e???
But it’s hard to play both ends. Obama wants to capture the John F. Kennedy persona of youth and enthusiasm and at the same time portray himself as the father. It’s a dichotomy that cannot stand on its own; people don’t look up to a father who is younger than they.
…
So you’re not so much in actual disagreement that our president should be a surrogate Father Figure/Cruel and Oppressive Dictator, but more that you can only get it up to Silver Foxes and Obama’s youthful blackness is totally killing the mood for you?
Well, good on you, Timmy, keep reaching up for that penis in the sky!
Obama finds himself unable to make this crazy scheme work because, like everything in his life, he can’t stick to it. There is no there there, because he doesn’t have enough experience doing either. Obama does not share the youthful experiences of Middle America; he went from his overseas childhood to a life in a very left wing academic setting to ACORN and the political left in Chicago. He had but a few normal years in Hawaii. It seems likely that his mother was at least a left-leaning woman, and he was perhaps a red diaper baby. He simply has no connection with the American youth culture. And he certainly lacks the gravitas to appeal as a father.
The 2 minute hate, it’s not just for Orwellian villains!
It worked last time around because the media hid who Obama really is. Now, after four years of seeing the man, America knows him for a vacillating, supercilious, shallow man more at home with stuffed shirts and foreign leaders than his own people.
They are really banking on people sharing their erotic fantasy that Obama was a black Mandingo raping all the white women and carrying away conservatives in strong masculine arms that made them feel weak and flabby, like scared little shut-ins that needed to wear white hoods to even get any exercise.
I commend them on this approach. If those moderates aren’t seeing it, you’ll just have to scream it louder. In fact, email this post to all your moderate friends. Wake their eyes to the truth.
Then you’ll be back on top again!
But it won’t keep Obama from trying; he is stubborn that way.
Just call him Daddy Dearest!
Apparently Father’s Day is the holiday where wingnuts try and make father mean mother so that their usual shtick of calling liberals weak willed wimmin creatures who have vaginas where their cocks should be can still apply.
Silly wingnuts, that’s next weekend when Pride starts.
Also, way to give away Obama’s June Surprise, dudes!
Thanks to Jack Kemp for some important suggestions and editing assistance.
Wow.
That’s impressive.
Writing a sentence that gives Jack Kemp less credibility.
I take it back, Timmy, you’re talented at one thing at least.
Complete and utter fail.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. Bringing all the mangos back is invented by me. Why? Because fuck you, I didn’t see a gift on Mother’s Day, damnitt! That’s why. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
Bird now, for the future!
~
Happy Fathers Day to all you mothers out there!
But while we enjoy this Hallmark-created holiday, we should take time to think of those who cannot enjoy this day with us
I thought it was a holiday created by the Necktie Industrial Complex.
Had a dad
big and strong
turned around
found my daddy gone
he was the one
made me what I am today
its up to me now
my daddy has gone away
well I spoke to the mountain
I listened to the sea
both told me that fountain
was the best that you can be
my daddy’s hand it growed
slow to the lickin’
sonny boy
grow to whip him
if you see my dad
tell him my brothers
all gone mad
they’re beating on each other
I walked around
even tried to call
got that funny feeling
he’s not there
at all…
Jane’s Addiction ~ Had A Dad
Well, we can see who’s an un- or underemployed bachelor right from the top.
Daren Jonescu has suggested that there is something more, that Obama does not speak of his biological progeny or even with the royal I, but rather believes humanity forms a composite of which he is the end product:
The Kwisatz Blackerach?
It has to be tough to churn out so many pages of Obama hate every week just to get a paycheck.
Mr. Birdnow – You should just go and suck dicks for $5 a pop in the men’s room of the downtown Greyhound bus station until you regain some small measure of self respect.
Mr. Birdnow – You should just go and suck dicks for $5 a pop in the men’s room of the downtown Greyhound bus station until you regain some small measure of self respect.
He types out his columns while the johns switch places.
Chuckled at Cerb’s footnote joke.
Well, GVC-18 is me, O course! I was starting to write some caustic comments about the Preznit. Forget to change the nym. All better now?
Kwisatz Blackerach
Well played, Mr Big Bald Nice Person.
Kwisatz Blackerach not to be confused with cousin Burt Bacharch, composer of bland pop ballads.
Well, GVC-18 is me, O course! I was starting to write some caustic comments about the Preznit. Forget to change the nym. All better now?
You should disband the Cadre, old chum. You have settled on a consistent ‘nym after bouncing around a lot, why open yourself to accusations of sockpuppetry or perfidy? Can’t be perfidious, you’re not Snidely Whiplash any more.
The Kwisatz Blackerach?
Been going downhill ever since “Alfie”.
Seriously, he typed “Hemmingway” twice?
And yet, this is somehow Hem-like:
Wow, this is the stupidest article I’ve come across since…the last article Sadly, No! covered.
I’m at a loss for words here.
Happy Fathers Day to all you mothers out there!
D-KW is strangely silent.
Jesus fucking Christ. That asshole got all that bulllshit out of one fucking little postcard with a smiling family? He’s got way too much time on his hands.
And happy Dad’s day to all of y’all. My spouse and I spent the day at a nice gastropub. Our progeny is across the pond in London. And neither of our fathers are alive to be congratulated, so we can only reminisce.
Obama’s convinced that he’s teh Powderpuff Grrlz Final BOSS &/or Nietzsche’s Superman?
a) Co-opting anarcho-feminism makes silly wingnuts look more silly. Am now eagerly awaiting the AEI’s upcoming revelations: Peter Kropotkin invented & drove the world’s first & only steam-powered 4X4 monster truck & Noam Chomsky actually secretly donates all his book royalties to the NRA.
b) Of course the one who faithfully prosyletized for (a psychopathically deranged & incoherent version of) Nietzsche’s Superman was Ayn Rand. Worse, any mook with WiFi can watch acres of her on YouTube appearing on various Ye Olde Blacke & White Telvisionne chat-shows, giving her host the stink-eye while explaining why it’s perfectly okay to needlessly let poor & sick children die or even better work them to death as your chattel, or why nearly nobody deserves love, or (UH-OH PASGHETTI-O’S) how wonderful abortion is & that the very concept of God is a big ugly con-game. That Rand’s turbid steaming mounds of prose show her to be the L. Ron Hubbard of modern political thought bodes ill for anyone looking to use said steaming mounds to help march themselves up a moral high-road.
Obama’s convinced that he’s teh Powderpuff Grrlz Final BOSS &/or Nietzsche’s Superman?
Maojo Jojo?
I read the Youtube comments on the trailer for That’s My Boy because I hate myself, apparently. Behold!
Thanks B^4 for your comment in the last thread.
Being an Archie McPhee pusher would be like a dream come true! You just might get that Devo Love Without Anger chicken mask after all!
RE: the title:
Black presidents ruin EVERY day.
Hard to believe, I know but here is a site of people being snarky about Tom Friedman.
Well, I for one am convinced. I used to think Obama was a mostly well-meaning moderate centrist, but now that I’ve seen a picture of him with his wife and two children it has become clear that he is history’s greatest monster.
Fucker probably wears a cycling helmet and puts brown mustard on his hamburgers, too.
Jennifer, see last thread.
No offense taken, Suezboo.
I know that sales is a lot of peoples’ idea of a hellish job. But I like it as long as I know I’m offering something good to people who need it. That sounds funny when you’re talking about repping for a company that distributes novelty items, but gift stores DO need those. Plus, it’s the only job I’ve ever had where I’ve been compensated anything like fairly for my labor. I sold school textbooks for years; then the textbook companies all decided to buy each other and made all of their reps “company” reps. They sold it as “oh well, you get a company car and expense account and health insurance and 401k…” The only problem was, they expected you to work 24/7, spend 90% of your time living on the road in hotels, and even with bonuses, you’d be lucky in a good year to make half what I had made as an independent.
I can do well with this – I just know it. It might take a year to get to where I’m really doing well, but that’s ok; I’ll do well enough to get by in the meantime.
Dana Milbank calls Obama the first female President.
Yeah, yeah calling the Dem President effeminate. We get it. But it is so 2000, when military hero and purple-heart awardee John Kerry was a girly man and that pussy Yaley, reservist-dodging, lick-spittle Bush was some sort of resolute he-man. They REALLY have nothing. Yawn.
Is it a desire to prove his manhood, to sire sons, that drives Obama to claim male children?
IT’S ALWAYS PROJECTION
Why yes it is. Projection with an American Talibanism bent to boot.
This makes my brain hurt so much…
Obama is a Kenyan, Colonialist, Anti-Colonialist, Muslim, Atheist, Czarist, Communist, King, Liberal, Fascist, Manly, Girly Girl, Homo Eleventy Hitler.
My eyes rolled so high up into my head they made the top of my brain hurt.
Why do I have the Homer Simpson on rageohol saying “I hate them SOOO MUCH” playing in my head?
This is what Benito Mussolini meant by the term Totalitarianism, which he coined not as a pejorative but as a way of saying that the State should act as an intimately involved father…
The term was actually coined as a pejorative by noted leftist Giovanni Amendola in 1923. This did not please Benito Mussolini and, thus, Amendola was beaten to death by Blackshirts in 1926.
Giovanni Gentile, the “Philosopher of Fascism”, re-purposed the word with a positive connotation in 1932. This did not please Italian partisans who blew his ass away in 1944.
Seriously, he typed “Hemmingway” twice?
What’s a Hemmingway?
Certainly his current circumstances feature an arugula-eating Amazon…
Happy father’s day to Timothy Birdbrain. Here, i got you a bag of dicks! Eat them and die already.
Oh my.
That’s such low hanging fruit, I have wonder if it was written _for_ the SadlyNo labs.
So Sadly cooking types, I love me some curry peanut sauce, and I love chili. My beloved and I are hosting a weird food party on Friday, and I want to make curry peanut chili. Am I insane? has anyone ever done this before? does anyone have any good curry peanut sauce recipes I should know about?
@pupiennus:
“What’s a Hemmingway?”
About 180 pounds. In the rain.
@Bigby:
“Why do I have the Homer Simpson on rageohol saying “I hate them SOOO MUCH” playing in my head?”
That’s funny – I have Homer saying “Donuts! Arglearglearglearlge…” playing in my head, except once in a while when he says “You maniacs! You blew it up!”
@SO:
“Giovanni Gentile, the “Philosopher of Fascism”, re-purposed the word with a positive connotation in 1932. This did not please Italian partisans who blew his ass away in 1944.”
Typical anti-fascists; they were virulently anti-Gentile. Will no-one address this festering anti-anti-Semitism? Curse our modern Political Correctness..
Yeah, yeah calling the Dem President effeminate.
Milbank is the WaPo’s MoDo.
~
I want to make curry peanut chili.
I have a recipe for a peanut sauce that has some curry in it. I’m out on a trip today – I get home tomorrow. If you remind me, I’ll look it for you tomorrow.
Oh, thank you for that! It will turn into a source of innocent amusement daily, I’m sure.
jeepers, i can’t believe after a restful weekend away, this is the kind of crap i come back to…it’s just mind boggling..clearly, timmeh is unable to comprehend anyfuckingthing…
Peanut curry sauce? Absolutely! My Thai-ish chops are sorely lacking so I’ll need to pull out something I’ve used before. Er, look it up, I mean. El M. will probably chime in with something good.
Zwei schön groß Chimichangas = PWNT!
There’s a lot of weird flail and fail in this. I’m with Spear, I’m kind of at a loss for words.
Conservatives playing armchair psychologist (which is pretty much all they do, since if they talked about what Obama really is, they’d have to admit he’s boring centrist and postcard-perfect family man…which in any rich white man they’d consider role-modelish) make me want to vom…but conservatives this crazy and stupid playing psychologist make me…sad.
I’ve used this line before, but . . . reading the comments at American Stinker made me feel much better about how I’m living my life.
Partially because ‘far away from those people’ is part of how.
Certainly his current circumstances feature an arugula-eating Amazon
in one of my many recurring fantasies, michelle shows up, announced, in timmeh’s mom’s basement…she wouldn’t have to say or do anything…just stand there and smile…pantspooping would commence directly…
Everyone knows Amazons ate arugula and male human flesh in roughly equal proportions. Helped them grow tall, with that glossy hair that really sets off the glint of a weapons belt.
Bookmark it, libs!
The moderate pragmatic ideologue. They never see that coming.
You mean chili like the Lunch Lady makes w/tomatoes and beans? I’d go with a massaman curry peanut sauce and add it to taste to your chili. Sub tangerine for the lime juice for a NE Malaysian stylee.
The Mae Ploy brand of prepared curry pastes is good. If you make your own toast and grind the spices before adding the garlic, shallots and galangal/ginger for processing (plus a 1/2 cup of chopped cilantro stems).
And that tin of ancient Indian curry powder you have? Resolutely ignore it, or even better throw it away.
“It worked last time around because the media hid who Obama really is. Now, after four years of seeing the man, America knows him for a vacillating, supercilious, shallow man more at home with stuffed shirts and foreign leaders than his own people.”
So the media hid who Obama really is, until they stopped doing that for four years. I bet they’ll kick themselves when they realize he needs electin’ again!
How are we supposed to take “his own people” in this context?… Muslims? Oh sorry, that was the last American Thinker fruitcake Cerb covered. Wingnuts: folks who’ll spend years othering you, then bitch that you are not wholly at home with the otherers.
Acting comfortable around stuffed shirts and foreign leaders is not just part of the job, it’s many times more stimulating and enjoyable than hobnobbing with apopleptic Teabaggers howling that you’re Muslim, Commie, Antichrist, Kenyan, bone-thru-the-nose witch-doctor, and on and on.
All this wierd bullshit is even sadder if you consider that we could put Mitt and Barack in a room with fifty stone-crazy teabaggers for four hours; administer truth serum to said wingnuts; and I would bet a paycheck they would (only if so medicated) sing Barack’s praises as the more at ease, the more genuine, the better to drink a beer with. Mitt is as wierd as they want Obama to be. He’s having trouble buying sycophants. It’s that bad, because he’s “vacillating, supercilious, shallow,” and at home exclusively with the most stuffed of shirts.
The Mae Ploy brand of prepared curry pastes is good
I buy the 2lb tubs of the stuff… I make a lot of Thai curries.
All this wierd bullshit is even sadder if you consider that we could put Mitt and Barack in a room with fifty stone-crazy teabaggers for four hours; administer truth serum to said wingnuts; and I would bet a paycheck they would (only if so medicated) sing Barack’s praises as the more at ease, the more genuine, the better to drink a beer with. Mitt is as wierd as they want Obama to be.
Shit, Mitt can’t even drink a beer, it would interfere in his destiny to become a god.
This asshole got a PhD from somewhere.
Also, Jack Kemp died a few years ago. Did he pass on the Franchise?
can we hope Gallagher will be around for our grand-children’s grandchildren?
These writers are frightening, because they are so crazed and Gonzo without having any point where there Gonzo Experiences touch human life.
I cannot believe we lose to these assholes.
Heh. From publicpolicypolling.com
Also, Jack Kemp died a few years ago.
Thanks for noticing.
Jack Kemp’s ghost said,
What, you don’t get enough attention because your pals Breitbart and JoePa are getting all the red hot anvils up their bums?
Jack Kemp’s ghost said
I am thy father’s spirit,
Doom’d for a certain term to walk the night,
And for the day confined to fast in fires,
Till the foul crimes done in my days of nature
Are burnt and purged away. But that I am forbid
To tell the secrets of my prison-house,
I could a tale unfold whose lightest word
Would harrow up thy soul, freeze thy young blood,
Make thy two eyes, like stars, start from their spheres,
Thy knotted and combined locks to part
And each particular hair to stand on end,
Like quills upon the fretful porpentine:
But this eternal blazon must not be
To ears of flesh and blood. List, list, O, list!
If thou didst ever thy dear father love–
James O’Keefe
O God!
Ghost
Revenge his foul and most unnatural murder.
eck…just finished the son’s fafsa…now i recall again why i wait until the absolute last minute to do it…and it isn’t even THAT bad…but still…also, too my selfinvolvedseventyoneyearoldhypochondriac mother is staying overnight with us…she brought a bottle of plum gekkeikan…and a bottle of sour mix…for some reason she thinks hubbkf likes whiskey sours, which he doesn’t…he likes whiskey and uncola…also, she did not bring any whiskey…
also, n_b, the above bit is genius…
Hemmingway?
Hummingbirdnow?
Fly away, fly away?
It was…too late.
The thread had snuffed it.
You can file FAFSA in June and still get the money? For a fall semester thing?
It was…too late.
The thread had snuffed it.
and do you know why? because obama likes father’s day cards from strangers and also he dined and dashed the other day…and he’s black…
You can file FAFSA in June and still get the money? For a fall semester thing?
yep…deadline is june 30…
He is the world spirit and the end of history.”
Dude, there are drive-in theatres praying they had this much projection.
Srsly, you either need a $200/hr therapist or a $300/hr escort, but get some help, holy shit.
because obama likes father’s day cards from strangers and also he dined and dashed the other day…and he’s black…
Clearly anti-colonialist behaviour. The british in Kenya would never have
likes father’s day cards from strangers and also he dined and dashed the other daybeen black.I was on my game tonight. Both of my landings were sa-weeeet.
I hope the chickens appreciated it.
There seems to be a father’s day theme.
http://littlegreenfootballs.com/article/40495_WND-_Americas_Marxist_Picnic?tw_p=twt
“Barack Obama undoubtedly thinks of himself as the ripest cheese in the Progressive delicatessen, and so envisions himself as the father of fathers.”
The Cheesus Christ you might say.
Also [insert mandatory Python here]
——————————————————————————–
[The audience members at the back of the crowd are having trouble hearing the Sermon on the Mount.]
Man: I think it was, “Blessed are the cheesemakers”!
Gregory’s wife: What’s so special about the cheesemakers?
Gregory: Well, obviously it’s not meant to be taken literally. It refers to any manufacturers of dairy products.
——————————————————————————–
mandatory python inserting?
This letter to the editor is Poe-Rifferic, or is it?
SO WHAT ABOUT CARNATIONS?
Something in the “Just Ask” column (Page A3, May 29) disturbed me. According to the column, “the Ohio buckeye, Aesculus glabra, bears flowers with both male and female organs on the same tree. It is a monoecious species.”
I couldn’t believe this, so I did some research and, sure enough, a science website (forestry.about.com) states that “the Ohio buckeye is polygamo-monoecious, bearing both bisexual and male flowers.”
The buckeye is our state tree and most of us gladly wear the nickname, “buckeyes.” But it is shameful and unacceptable that a bisexual tree should represent us! We are flaunting the Holy Bible!
I urge everyone to contact their state representative and demand legislation removing the buckeye as our state tree and condemning the use of the term “buckeye” as a nickname for residents of Ohio.
Does anyone know if carnations are bisexual?
Jim Flechtner Findlay
http://www.thecourier.com/opinion/2012/Jun/06/ar_let_060612.asp?d=060612,2012,Jun,06&c=let
The buckeye is our state tree and most of us gladly wear the nickname, “buckeyes.”
Buckeyes are also poisonous and therefore inedible. This makes us in Ohio a bunch of worthless nuts.
And you thought the main post was insane.
Cerberus, Jesus that’s the most hate filled, slime bucket form of “christianity” this side of a klan rally.
mandatory python inserting?
You use a dynamically-typed object-oriented language, you take your chances.
And you thought the main post was insane.
What would he do
Had he the motive and the cue for passion
That I have? He would drown the stage with tears,
And cleave the general ear with horrid speech,
Make mad the guilty, and appall the free,
Confound the ignorant, and amaze indeed
The very faculties of eyes and ears.
mandatory python inserting?
A three-word review of Prometheus?
.
We are flaunting the Holy Bible!
flaunt ’em if you got ’em!
someone mentioned this the other day, and truly, between queries like this
SO WHAT ABOUT CARNATIONS?
and headlines like this
Obama Celebrates Anti-Police Riot Started at Mafia-Owned Bar for Transvestites
the onion will soon be obsolete…
yep…deadline is june 30…
Very cool.
Does it take them long to get back to you?
Also. Too. OT, but looking at the results of the French legislative elections on wikipedia, let me know if any of this sounds familiar:
Conservatives really are the same all over. And fascists come to power because conservatives prefer allying themselves with them and throwing democracy into the gutter to having to hold hands with those filthy Liberal Elitists on the other side of the aisle.
On the bright side, neither the UMP nor the FN came out of this election with much to boast about – the Socialists won big, the UMP lost big and the FN’s gains were negligible. So good work, people.
Look, how can you expect wingnuts to understand metaphor? Most of them have already accepted both the “angry man in the sky” *and* the Ayn Rand fairytales as absolute truth: so if you tell them the Chicken Little story, expect them to spend the next week looking for the actual chicken…
Does it take them long to get back to you?
nope, not too bad…usually w/in two to three weeks…the tricky part is getting the son to remember that he has to answer the email confirming he wants the aid…and then to get him to register in a decent amount of time so he’s not stuck with all the sucky classes…
the onion will soon be obsolete…
Hey, if events after this story of theirs didn’t kill them off, I’d say they have a decent chunk of lifespan ahead of them…
Hey, if events after this story of theirs didn’t kill them off,
prescience…it’s awesome!
.
.
.
man, IT must hate me by now…we had a power outage sunday night during a hellacious storm that did some significant damage to the area…anyhoo, one of my printers would not print…so, i called superdave…he just left here after noting that the other computer which needs to be on for that printer to print, was indeed, not on…d’oh…
Here’s a mango from the comments at the Stonewall article:
“Oh…and just a fun question: Obama is clearly on the down low….But portrays himself as the “best, most romantical hubby ever”….
Does this bother you at all? Very funny to all of us in the gay community in Chi (those of us over 35 that remember old big ears, that only recieved not gave back to the old white men he was attracted to).”
The sentences before these, oddly, are not of a gay character (“Most of us are not afraid of homosexuals […] You want special rights”).
Obama’s clearly on the down-low, folks. He’s clearly alot of things!… Earlier I wrote that truth serum would reveal that wingnuts find Obama personable and genuine, but that was wrong. I am not sure what it’d reveal that’s not already clear. They are racists who have a broad spectrum of vivid fantasies about Obama. This commenter, “legtingle,” likes to imagine Obama as a catamite for old white men.
Obama’s clearly on the down-low, folks. He’s clearly alot of things!…
oh, indeed…i wonder how he can keep up with all the things he clearly is! lizard person being the most problematical for me…
what else i find very problematic…nay, disturbing, is how the wingnuts seem to know every tiny aspect of obama’s life…absolutely no detail of his life and person hood is beneath their rabid radar…they literally froth at the mouth and can recite names, places, dates, situations…anything, really! their obsession with him borders on pathological…holy crap! i like the guy mostly, but can only recall the basics on him…what gives with their fanat…oh, yeah…right…they ARE wingnuts…
we had a power outage sunday night during a hellacious storm that did some significant damage to the area
And that’s why I stopped bidding Sioux Falls this time of year, even though I like the place.
It seems like on any given night there’s either a line of storms parked on top of Sioux Falls or a line of storms between Sioux Falls and Memphis.
And I’m talkin’ the giant Midwest kind of storms with tops up past FL 500 sometimes.
He’s clearly alot of things!
Like how he manages to simultaneously be a ruthless Chicago thug and the greatest appeaser since Neville Chamberlain.
It seems like on any given night there’s either a line of storms parked on top of Sioux Falls or a line of storms between Sioux Falls and Memphis.
you are correct, sir! sunday night the daughter and i headed to the basement with luci the wonderdog cuz hubbkf was out weatherspotting for the fire department…we heard on the weather radio the words ‘odessa’ ‘tornado’ and ‘on the ground’ so we headed down…daughter was so funny…i thought she would be freaking out, but she was all like, ‘oh, we practice tornado drills at our house all the time…’
Like how he manages to simultaneously be a ruthless Chicago thug and the greatest appeaser since Neville Chamberlain.
barack obama: wendigo…
He’s also a both a floor wax and a dessert topping. And a particle and a wave.
He has both done nothing and done everything, simultaneously. He is Schroedinger’s Cat.
He is the yin and the yang, the alpha and omega, great taste AND less filling.
Also a true statement:
Pedophile Apologists Praise Convicted Capitol Felon: Vow to Eat His flesh and Drink His Blood.
I posted the above over there. Let’s see what happens.
Obama is what you get when you cross Lennie (Of Mice and Men) with every Bond villain ever conceived.
…
He’s a bitch, he’s a lover,
He’s a child, he’s a mother,
He’s a sinner, he’s a saint,
He does not feel ashamed
He’s a picker
He’s a grinner
He’s a lover
He’s a sinner…
BURN HIM!
what else i find very problematic…nay, disturbing, is how the wingnuts seem to know every tiny aspect of obama’s life
Also how they can TOTALLY READ HIS MIND, inferring detailed agendas and thought processes behind the most innocuous of statements. A general I can sympathize deeply with Trayvon’s parents because I can imagine he was my son becomes OMG DADDY ISSUES. Sure he probably has Daddy issues, we as a nation seem incapable of electing someone who doesn’t, but JESUS CHRIST.
Who is this Obama, that which description can never justify?
Can the ocean be described?
Fathomless Obama. Body of all that is
lived everlastingly
Men … initiate … Inamorata …
The Obama is tomorrow’s unknown, known life
I love tomorrow.
[Adapted from the closing narration on Miles’ “Live-Evil” album, as I remember it]
This commenter, “legtingle,” likes to imagine Obama as a catamite for old white men.
Then he weeps and washes up AGAIN.
Sure he probably has Daddy issues, we as a nation seem incapable of electing someone who doesn’t, but JESUS CHRIST.
The ultimate consequence of seeing nations through the lens of fatherlands and motherlands is that your own relationship with your parents is inevitably going to screw that right up. Or maybe that’s the other way around.
I like how “legtingle” deftly psychoanalyzes the previous poster, for using the word “pussy,” etc. — then switches to gay and tells his story about “old big ears.” But he has no issues.
It’s dizzying, coming from someone who’s just said (for ex.) that conservatives will protect liberals, who will not appreciate it. He’s one guy, somehow, and his throwaway line is that all the old fags in Chicago either fucked Obama or know a choirfull o’ geezers that did.
Why, man, he doth bestride the narrow world
Like a Colossus, and we petty men
Walk under his huge legs and peep about
To find ourselves dishonourable graves.
Men at some time are masters of their fates:
The fault, dear Orly, is not in our stars,
But in ourselves, that we are underlings.
Orly and ‘Bama: what should be in that ‘Bama?
Why should that name be sounded more than yours?
Write them together, yours is as fair a name;
Sound them, it doth become the mouth as well;
Weigh them, it is as heavy; conjure with ’em,
Orly will start a spirit as soon as ‘Bama.
Now, in the names of all the gods at once,
Upon what meat doth this Obama feed,
That he is grown so great?
Reading wingnut comments at CNSNews.com reminds me of Something Awful’s “Voice of the Internet” series, esp. #2 (Gay Atheist).
http://www.somethingawful.com/d/flash-tub/voice-internet-2.php
What really makes that clip is the shitfaced gay dissenter. Give ‘im hell, dude.
the onion will soon be obsolete…
The Onion will never be obsolete, as long as there are guys like John Byrne:
The Onion lost all credibility for me a while back when they did a “story” on the Hudson River cleanup GE was forced to do. As some of you may recall, one of my neighbors is a GE veep, and he was directly in charge of this, so from him I found out all kinds of details the press did not bother to pass along to the public. Since The Onion apparently gets its info from other papers, the story was full of inaccuracies.
What are they, Michael Moore?
Anyway, I stopped reading The Onion from then on.
I know, I know— bacon is the meat that doth made him grown great.
barack obama: wendigo…
Mandingo Wendigo? If he were dizzy, would it be Mandingo Wendigo Vertigo? His favorite boardgame is Mandingo Wendigo Stratego… I think I tapped this vein out.
Obama is what you get when you cross Lennie (Of Mice and Men) with every Bond villain ever conceived.
Now, now, as Charles Stross pointed out, Bond villains are Randian supermen who are eventually killed by a Big Government functionary just because they are successful. James Bond is a public sector thug.
And yet he’s muslim, wiley.
I heard they can lie and eat pork and lie about eating pork, just so long as it’s a step toward blowing our shit up. There’s even a word for this type of lying: halal.
I was born in Belgium to an American family, the Army stationed my father there. So I think of the US as kind of an Uncleland.
I was born in Belgium to an American family, the Army stationed my father there. So I think of the US as kind of an Uncleland.
As long as it’s not a weird “bad touch uncle” land, you’re okay.
After Reagan, and both Bushes, I’m not so sure. I think of it a place that might be OK, but you wouldn’t leave it unsupervised with your kids.
Happy belated Father’s day, motherfuckers.
It’s true, motherfucking is what fatherhood is all about.
Prezackly, I was kinda surprised that nobody had yet expressed father’s day good-tidings in such a manner. Especially here.
The problem comes when you’re fucking the wrong mom and then it’s like OOPS.
Unless, of course, you’re D-KW, then it’s like “ooohhh, yeah.”
That’s basically the plot of “Knocked Up.”
Guess what?
LOLWUT?
The only wrong mom is your own.
ALL RIGHT GRANDMA!
“Layouting” appears to be a word.
Is that where you accuse the Knights of Columbus dude of being gay?
Fucking Briiliant Cerebus…you are right up there with my favorite snarkers like driftglass, Charles Pierce and tbogg! I laughed all the way through and I wasn’t even stoned or drunk. Keep them comin’!
I went to the site to see what the comment section held, and lo and behold there’s nothing but praise for the article and damnation and nastiness towards our president.
I’m pretty sure they cull the comment section carefully to discard any that might be mocking or negative from us damn “pergressives”, otherwise there would be more of the latter than the former.
I’m pretty sure they cull the comment section carefully to discard any that might be mocking or negative from us damn “pergressives”, otherwise there would be more of the latter than the former.
I think of the commentariat here as “transgressives”.
gocart debates the crazies
ALLANBUDZYNSKI 3 comments collapsed Collapse Expand YOU CAN’T UN- MILK A COW NOR, UN-RING A BELL, – – – ONCE OBAMA HAS TURNED OUR COUNTRY IN TO A TOTAL MARXIST NATION IT IS TOO LATE. THERE IS NO ONE OUT THERE TO SAVE US. WAKE UP AMERICA, BEING “POLITICALLY CORRECT” ISN’T GOING TO SAVE YOU FROM WHAT THEY HAVE PLANNED.
gocart mozart 2 comments collapsed Collapse Expand Adjust your medication and try not to shout too much. Your next lesson will be trying to for a coherant thought.
Pollyanna 1 comment collapsed Collapse Expand You are definitely out of control, Gocart…It’s time to shout, and AllanB’s thought is coherent. (If you’re going to be picky, you spelled coherent wrong.) We’re just sick and tired of freebies for freeloaders, illegal immigrants getting tax refunds they aren’t eligible for and benefits they didn’t earn, redistribution of “wealth” just because Obama said so, and most of all, the flagrant causes of the LGBT 2.8% of the population that is being forced into our lives instead of quietly going on with their lives like the rest of us…well, excuse us, but we’re not going to take it any more! If you wish to live under a marxist-one-world-order with everyone getting the same as the next person…except, of course, the Hollyweird crowd and politicians…then by all means, go ahead and vote for Obama, but you’ll be standing in a very small line.
gocart mozart 1 comment collapsed Collapse Expand What illegal mimmigrant gets a tax refund? How can they get a tax refund when they don’t have a social security number. The problem is that you people lie repeatedly.
“Redistribution of wealth”. I assume you are against a progressive tax code, Medicare, Social Security, Farm subsidies and public schools also or perhaps you are a hypocrite. Wealth is being distributed from the poor and middle class to the wealthy for a generation now and all with the help of voters like you. I hope you are proud of your efforts to destroy the American middle class.
As to your problem with the gays, they have been around for ever and it is about time they are given the same rights as you or I. Stop trying to find a final solution to the problem of the gays. It didn’t work for Hitler and it won’t work for you. Try being a Christian instead and love your neighbor.
Lastly, “Marxist”, you should try to avoid using big words that you do not know nor care to comprehend.
gocart mozart 1 comment collapsed
Collapse Expand Also a true statement:
Pedophile Apologists Praise Convicted Capital Felon: Vow to Eat His flesh and Drink His Blood.
A Like Reply 5 hours ago 2 Likes F .
I myself am retrogressive and anal expulsive.
holy crap…today is a today where i totally love my job…went to a donor’s house for a fashion show and wine…with the possibility of making this a fundraising event…
I’m just a sweet transgressive from Transgressia .. Huh uh
New post.
Less regular crazy, more lying ass support of fascism… so baby steps.