Pluit Hominum, Alleluia
Pope Benedict said earlier today, with respect to the Roman Catholic church’s growing pedophilia scandal, that “We must ask ourselves what was wrong in our proclamation, in our whole way of living the Christian life, to allow such a thing to happen.” Naturally, the Pope doesn’t think that the vow of celibacy has anything to do with it. Instead, of course, the Pope blames liberals for their moral relativism, the result of which is that child pornography is now “considered more and more normal by society.” (Maybe that’s true in the Vatican, but I’m not guessing it’s true anywhere else.)
If the Pope wants to ask himself about why his clergy seems to have developed a taste for teenage altar boys, perhaps he might think for a moment about this command performance for him that occurred at the Vatican a few days ago.
Not surprisingly, when the Pope stands up at the end of this, it looks like he’s pitched a tent.*
*VPR
Fist!
These are not the failed policies you’re looking for.
Strippers, disguised as gymnasts. Brilliant false-flag operation!
But no, the guilty priests cannot just go about their business.
Or false-fag. Couldn’t resist.
it looks like he’s pitched a tent.
A tiny, tiny tent. But I can’t blame him: HOT.
Also:
the result of which is that child pornography is now “considered more and more normal by society.”
“It’s normal!” is why people are imprisoned for it. People who aren’t priests, of course.
Pope Benny’s 2nd paragraph begins thusly:
That sounds kinda hot. What’s it from? The Responsory? Translation please.
Yeah, I dunno where this priest diddling altar boy thing comes from.
Those men look like they’re over the age of consent. I mean, go ahead Bennie. But don’t tell everyone else who and when to fuck.
Oh, the hell with him…
“What you (the Vatican) can do” is accept responsibility for real and stop pawning it off on some liberal/secular infiltration of the Catholic Church! “What you can do” is stop squealing that there’s some kind of left wing Protestant conspiracy against the Church and that by paying attention to this we’re strengthening the enemy! “What you can do” is admit that you fucked up and stop trying to justify yourself by trying to shift the blame onto your usual scapegoats! “What you can do” is stop talking so much about penance and start doing it, period!
Sweet IPU, I just continued scrolling and scrolling and scrolling. Pope might be small tented, but he’s also very long winded.
The nuns were clearly excited.
Somewhat OT, the reddit atheists are having fun being militant.
I’d give a couple of those guys a papal visit myself.
“jambonilton 12/20/2010 $10.00 Touched by His Noodley Appendage.”
I giggled.
I’m sure the pope does think about this command performance. Often. Maybe three times in one night if he’s taken his iron pills.
This year. Yeah, his shit all came down this year and people (mostly liberals) just started looking at the RCC cross-eyed because of its baby raping problem this year and the RCC really is trying to do something about its baby raping problem (caused by liberals) but we only just found out about it this year so please stand by for a few decades while we work out a solution.
I’m thinking Tintin could have titled this post “Gayer than the average bear II.”
Not that bears are gay or anything.
For Christmas, K-Lo is giving “how-to-become-a-priest (or nun)” books to all the children she knows. So much better than a Wii!!!!!!
Makes me reconsider not being Catholic.
I’m not sure those dudes are hot enough for me to overcome the visceral fear I feel when viewing footage of Emperor Popatine.
Let us not forget the gay prostitution ring that was being run out of the Vatican.
Maybe three times in one night if he’s taken his iron pills.
Actually, those pills are made of the rare earth homonium.
I’m not sure those dudes are hot enough for me to overcome the visceral fear I feel when viewing footage of Emperor Popatine.
agreed…and his lacsivi-osity in the video is overwhelming…
“mark f said,
December 20, 2010 at 20:17
For Christmas, K-Lo is giving “how-to-become-a-priest (or nun)” books to all the children she knows. So much better than a Wii!!!!!!”
That’s just asking for a punch in the face. Bet she gives out toothpaste for Halloween.
The short one on the right looks like a young John Travolta.
That’s just asking for a punch in the face. Bet she gives out toothpaste for Halloween
…and raisins…
bbkf–even worse!
*hates raisins*
That’s just asking for a punch in the face. Bet she gives out toothpaste for Halloween.
She used to, but now that Michelle has banned desserts she’s giving out handfuls of the extra large candy bars. That K-Lo is such a rebel!
K-Lo is giving “how-to-become-a-priest (or nun)” books
a) Did she write this?
b) How hard is this?
1) Give up everything you like.
2) Lecture everyone else on what you gave up.
3) Rinse and repeat
4) Beg forgiveness when you fail at the first three.
See? Four paragraphs. I can haz royalties now?
now that Michelle has banned desserts she’s giving out handfuls of the extra large candy bars
K-Lo:
now that Michelle has banned desserts she’s giving out handfuls of the extra large candy bars
i bet althouse feels like a real douche now for only letting kids have ONE tiny candy bar…
i bet althouse feels like a real douche now for only letting kids have ONE tiny candy bar…
Who knew she was such a big fan of Obamacare?
i bet althouse feels like a real douche now for only letting kids have ONE tiny candy bar…
There is a word foreign to Althouse in your phrasing: “feels”.
*hates raisins*
Raisins by themselves or in trail mix, are perfectly good food. However they are filthy when mixed into cookie dough. Every raisin cookie ever made is a chocolate chip cookie that never had a chance to be. Every raisin cookie ever baked is an insult to good cookies everywhere. It’s like someone said:”I know, i will make happiness in the form of baked goods”, and then at the critical juncture said,”you know what? humanity sucks, and I want to disappoint everyone I know by making my cookies into a cruel mockery of everything that is just and right”
i bet althouse feels like a real douche now for only letting kids have ONE tiny candy bar…
What do you mean “gives”? I heard that she takes one away from every kid who comes to her door for being an unproductive parasite.
There is a word foreign to Althouse in your phrasing: “feels”.
quite correct, sir!
corrected version:
Althouse IS a douche for letting kids have only ONE tiny candy bar…
Raisins by themselves or in trail mix, are perfectly good food.
Eating a raisin is like having sex with an 85 year old woman.
Or DKW’s mom.
You do it because you don’t have any other choices available to you.
It’s like someone said:”I know, i will make happiness in the form of baked goods”, and then at the critical juncture said,”you know what? humanity sucks, and I want to disappoint everyone I know by making my cookies into a cruel mockery of everything that is just and right”
this made me laff…
and hubby only likes cookies with no chocolate chips or raisins…sigh…
I *like* raisins!
I agree that putting raisins in baked goods is blasphemy. But damn raisins are just damn disgusting on their own.
I *like* raisins!
The prosecution rests, your honor.
me *also*
also with chocolate, too…
“Eating a raisin is like having sex with an 85 year old woman.
Or DKW’s mom.
You do it because you don’t have any other choices available to you.”
Sadly, this is what his mom says about you. Ouch.
*like* raisins, i mean…
also with chocolate, too…
Raisinettes?
That’s like eating chocolate-covered bunny shit.
I *like* raisins!
The prosecution rests, your honor.
Are you saying I have bad taste?
Sadly, this is what his mom says about you. Ouch.
That’s only because I tip well.
Are you saying I have bad taste?
Well, ummmmm, uhhhhhhhhhhhh…no, not in all things…
That’s like eating chocolate-covered bunny shit.
and you’re saying that’s a bad thing?
and you’re saying that’s a bad thing?
No!
Well, OK, yes.
That’s only because I tip well.
VPR?
Three cheers from yours truly.
That’s only because I tip well.
VPR?
Which bit was veiled?
well, hopefully the whole thing was, cuz it is DKW’s mom after all…who knows what’s lurking in there…could even be some raisins…
DKW’s mom is where grapes go to die.
Oh, so you’ve seen actor’s balls?
As an ex-priest friend of mine puts it, child sex was the only kind of sex Catholic priests were permitted to have. If an affair with a woman or adult man was discovered, the priest was immediately defrocked. But sex with a child led only to reassignment.
Oh, so you’ve seen actor’s balls?
this made me LAFF…
Oh, so you’ve seen actor’s balls?
Jeez, who hasn’t, as big as they are…
“this made me LAFF…”
Yes!! Finally some props for La Slayer!
Jeez, who hasn’t, as big as they are…
but can they be seen from somebody’s house?
Yes!! Finally some props for La Slayer!
and to be honest, it made me laff really hard…
but can they be seen from somebody’s house?
Bucko, they can be seen from Tierra del Fuego.
That’s like eating chocolate-covered bunny shit.
I notice no one asked how you know this.
See, y’all are the real raisinists.
Bucko, they can be seen from Tierra del Fuego.
Oh, so that’s where you left them.
How to Get in Good with the Slayer:
1.) tell her she’s pretty
2.) hate raisins
3.) dig her art, even if it doesn’t have zombies innit
4.) laugh at her damn jokes
You can pick and choose…dont have to observe all 4.
Also:
5.) love unicorns
6.) also fairies
How to Get in Good with the Slayer:
It used to be $5 and a box of candy,
Slayer Christmas lights. I have no idea if this is the same Slayer currently under discussion, but it’s awesome nonetheless.
I notice no one asked how you know this.
I’m not proud, there was money on the line and QUIT JUDGING ME!
Oh, vacuumslayer. Duh.
Showed the entire office those and they were impressed, even the Bieber fans.
There are Bieber fans old enough to work in an office?
“It used to be $5 and a box of candy,”
Quit confusing me with yer mom.
Hey, I hold for at least a flacon of Old Crow.
There are Bieber fans old enough to work in an office?
sadly, yes…mostly male, single, living in mom’s basement…
Hey, I hold for at least a flacon of Old Crow.
And DKW’s mom IS a flaccid old crow…
out
“It used to be $5 and a box of candy,
Oddly enough, I have six cases of $5 boxes of candy in my office right now…
I anxiously await DKW’s re-entry into this thread. Lulz.
in re raisins: You slovenly wretches have no taste. Raisins are required, as are dates, figs and/or other dried fruits (and nuts) in say, the couscous served with Moroccan chicken. Reconsituted, along with some of their previously mentioned with relatives and maybe sour cherries) in brandy they serve as a fine stuffing for roasted pork loin. And, most magical of all though in this case they are not true raisins but essentially raisins, they give us Trockenbeerenauslese.
Nope. Raisins suck. And I leave them out of my morrocan food.
in re raisins: You slovenly wretches have no taste.
The foodies have spoken.
Also, I hate the term “foodies.”
Raisins are required
Well, there’s the problem, right there.
OoPs. Spellcheck, please.
Erm, I’m a foodie.
You know who else hates raisins?
Also too, you can set some out with the cookie crumbs and nibbled carrots on Xmas morning. Kids love sweet sweet reindeer turds.
Speaking of Christmas music, it’s always nice to be reminded of how rapey “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” is.
Justyesterday I mentioned that the best thing about Xmas is putting in the Vince Guaraldi CD.
“Baby, it’s Cold Outside” is right up there with “Chestnuts Openly Flaming.”
Erm, I’m a foodie.
You took the test and everything? Sorry, my mistake.
For WC, though I don’t see you here, Newenough has a great sale on Scorpion textile jackets. $50 – can not beat that! I’m thinking of getting one just to have for the rare pilliion rider.
http://www.newenough.com/street/closeouts/last_chance_bargains/scorpion/burnout_textile_motorcycle_jacket.html
_Someone_, I’m sure, wouldn’t wear anything that didn’t have “Ducati” on it – Duc riders are so pissy that way.
I haven’t heard “Simply Having a Wonderful Christmastime” once this season. It’s enough to make one believe that Baby Jesus was born to a virgin in a lowly manger.
“Baby, it’s Cold Outside” is right up there with “Chestnuts Openly Flaming.”
And Walking Round In Women’s Underwear
personally, i’ve always wondered about the family dynamics in ‘i saw mommy kissing santa claus’…
I haven’t heard “Simply Having a Wonderful Christmastime” once this season.
It ain’t Christmas for me until I hear the Waitresses’ “Christmas Wrapping.”
Fortunately I did this morning, so now I can start Christmas shopping. One year I didn’t hear it until the 26th. Many hurt feelings that year.
Simply Having a Wonderful Christmastime is dead.
“Simply Having a Wonderful Christmastime”
Really, T & U?!? Really? Now i will have that dreadful song in my head for the rest of the day!
“Simply Having a Wonderful Christmastime”
Really, T & U?!? Really? Now i will have that dreadful song in my head for the rest of the day!
If it makes you feel any better, it’s stuck in my head now, too.
I’m not sure what’s worse about working retail at Christmas–working retail at Christmas, or having to hear the fucking music.
I HATED Christmas for years.
Ratzo is quite the piece of fucking work:
I like to view this as proof that God does not exist. Surely S/He would’ve instantly struck this motherfucking piece of shit down for saying this.
He was shocked, shocked to find abuses going on.
That clip was truly bizzare. I reminded me of a Fellini movie, something like Satyricon.
He was shocked, shocked to find abuses going on.
Well, of course he was! All these years, he thought those nice priests were just helping those young boys with their gymnastics!
There’s a Salvation Army bell-ringer in my ‘hood who sings–quite nicely–during his shift; I’ve seen him outside the same store for several years now.
This year he’s been wearing a button that says “I take requests,” and last night I handed over ten bucks and requested that he sing anything but Christmas songs until I left the area. There’s a war on, you know.
personally, i’ve always wondered about the family dynamics in ‘i saw mommy kissing santa claus’…
I never understood the song until I saw a karaoke video in sixth grade. “Santa Claus” is Dad in costume.
Raisins by themselves or in trail mix, are perfectly good food. However they are filthy when mixed into cookie dough.
Trader Joe’s made an interesting end-run around this: their Crispy Crunchy Oatmeal Raisin Cookies have the raisins *pureed* before adding to the dough, so you get the sweetness but not the squishy “dead-bug” effect so many people hate. They’re quite good!
As for raisins by themselves: try the golden ones. Still squishy, but with a nice tartness.
It ain’t Christmas for me until I hear the Waitresses’ “Christmas Wrapping.”
Amazingly, I still haven’t heard that on KROQ2 (Roq of the ’80s). Something’s gone terribly wrong, I think.
I never understood the song until I saw a karaoke video in sixth grade. “Santa Claus” is Dad in costume.
well, yeah, but why is the kid in the song (who doesn’t know it’s dad) so gleeful about telling daddy that mommy is screwing around with santa?
As for raisins by themselves: try the golden ones. Still squishy, but with a nice tartness.
I’m sorry, man. After the “California Raisins” had their big number one single, eating a raisin was like eating Gladys Knight and the Pips.
“This year he’s been wearing a button that says “I take requests,” and last night I handed over ten bucks and requested that he sing anything but Christmas songs until I left the area.”
I’m telling Fox News.
One year I didn’t hear it until the 26th. Many hurt feelings that year.
Simplify your life. Exchange gifts on Epiphany. As our rector in NYC once said when I told him that’s what we do he opined that not only was it theologically correct, it was also fiscally prudent. After Christmas sales, baby!
Kids are weird and stupid. I almost had a hatchet thrown at my head (literally) because a co-worker’s daughter told her father that I was her mom’s boyfriend, based on meeting me once at a company thing with several other co-workers.
The musical architecture of Christmas songs is a monumental Oedipus of Western Civilization
That prob’ly that should have been lyrical architecture…
well, yeah, but why is the kid in the song (who doesn’t know it’s dad) so gleeful about telling daddy that mommy is screwing around with santa?
So he can have blackmail material on Mommy. Duh.
“December 20, 2010 at 21:42
Kids are weird and stupid.”
ROFL. Disturbing how funny I found this.
Exchange gifts on Epiphany.
I live in a Greek neighborhood…go ahead, I’ll wait…
Prices go up on the 26th!
Kids are weird and stupid.”
ROFL. Disturbing how funny I found this.
just wait…in a few months, you will find this out first hand…
Swear to God on a stack of Bibles I’m not trying to re-start a religion argument, but –
Oh, my. That was rather an ironic way for me to put it, wasn’t it?
Anyways. I like to think of this as proof that there must be a hell. Every action has an equal and opposite reaction, and there are some actions that people in our this life commit, for which there’s no “equal and opposite reaction” unless we go into eternal, post-death punishment. Seriously, wouldn’t you be disappointed if the only thing that happened to child-molestor-apologists was that they just… died one day, and got off with nothing more than that?
(No, I’m not actually serious about any of that. It’s just a thought).
“just wait…in a few months, you will find this out first hand…”
That’s what’s so disturbing!
Fucking proofreading! How does it work?
Kids are weird and stupid.”
ROFL. Disturbing how funny I found this.
just wait…in a few months, you will find this out just how true this is…
We are well aware of the particular gravity of this sin committed by priests and of our corresponding responsibility.
Is that an imperial we? Otherwise why can’t you just say “I am well aware” or would that be to much to ask of the so called leader of the Catholic Church?
FYWP
Don’t worry, vs, your own kid won’t be weird and stupid. It’s just the other ones.
Eartha Kitt entreating Santa to come down her chimney should be renamed “Sheesh, get a room already.”
well, yeah, but why is the kid in the song (who doesn’t know it’s dad) so gleeful about telling daddy that mommy is screwing around with santa?
I thought this was pretty simple. The kid is a snitch.
Sam: You don’t like raisins?
Joon: Not really.
Sam: Why?
Joon: They used to be fat and juicy and now they’re twisted. They had their lives stolen. Well, they taste sweet, but really they’re just humiliated grapes. I can’t say I am a big supporter of the raisin council.
Sam: Did you see those, those raisins on TV? The ones that sing and dance and stuff?
Joon: They scare me.
Sam: Yeah me too
Joon: It’s sick. The commercial people they make them sing and dance so people will eat them.
bbkf said,
December 20, 2010 at 21:48
bbkf said,
December 20, 2010 at 21:50
Uh oh. Someone give bbkf a kick in the side. She’s stuck in a rut. Stuck in a rut. Stuck in a rut. Stuck in a rut. Stuck in a rut. Stuck in a rut. Stuck in a rut. Stuck in a rut. Stuck in a rut. Stuck in a rut. Stuck in a rut. Stuck in a rut. Stuck in a rut. Stuck in a rut. Stuck in a rut. Stuck in a rut. Stuck in a rut. Stuck in a rut. Stuck in a rut. Stuck in a rut. Stuck in a rut. Stuck in a rut. Stuck in a rut. Stuck in a rut. Stuck in a rut. Stuck in a rut. Stuck in a rut. Stuck in a rut. Stuck in a rut. Stuck in a rut. Stuck in a rut. Stuck in a rut. Stuck in a rut. Stuck in a rut. Stuck in a rut.
Don’t worry, vs, your own kid won’t be weird and stupid. It’s just the other ones.
oh, no…i beg to differ! good parents know that their kids are inherently weird and most of the time, stupid. it’s our acceptance of this that makes them grow into the wonderful, weird, odd personalities they eventually become…
Shorter Jonah Goldberg:
Uh oh. Someone give bbkf a kick in the side. She’s stuck in a rut.
DON’T JUDGE ME!!!
also, FYWP!
I always substitute dried persimmons when making figgy pudding myself. As for raisins, they’re kind of like chocolate for me: excellent in some recipe contexts and horrible in others.
I’ve always liked banana bread, and this past summer bought a piece at a farmer’s market. Imagine my horror upon discovering that they’d put chocolate chips in their banana bread and weren’t warning people of that execrable addition.
Shorter Jonah Goldberg:
I don’t even understand what the fuck his point is?
Imagine my horror upon discovering that they’d put chocolate chips in their banana bread and weren’t warning people of that execrable addition.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
I’ve never been a fan of the whole banana/chocolate combo in any form, really.
good parents know that their kids are inherently weird and most of the time, stupid.
Well, I guess mine’s only four months old. I suppose once she gets to the talking/questions phase I might change my mind.
I don’t even understand what the fuck his point is?
Exactly!
Ways to Get in Good with the Slayer Cont.:
7.) do not talk about Jonah’s buttcrack
8.) or Fight Club
that makes them grow into the wonderful, weird, odd personalities they eventually become…
I you take out wonderful and add bizarre and grumpy then you must be my Ma.
I don’t even understand what the fuck his point is?
It seems to be something like “I saw the same word in two articles! Hee hee hee Clapclapclapclapclap!”
mark f said,
December 20, 2010 at 21:59
Stupid jackass is stupid.
Why? Any Christian worth their salt knows Easter’s by far the more important holiday – his death and rebirth was the whole point of, you know, his coming down to Earth in the first place. Hmm, Repubs are so awed that Christ took human form, they forget why he did it. This is new!
Well, you could start with the fact that the Christmas trees and the date of Christmas itself were all taken from pagan tradition. In the Catholic Church, multiculturalism begins at home.
I don’t even understand what the fuck his point is?
Exactly!
Ah. I don’t know why I always assume that *I’m* the one with the comprehension problem, especially when it comes to Loadpants.
Imagine my horror upon discovering that they’d put chocolate chips in their banana bread and weren’t warning people of that execrable addition.
I think your first mistake was eating banana bread. When bananas get brown and spotty, make smoothies or tropical drinks with lots of rum.
I don’t even understand what the fuck his point is?
But isn’t that central to his point?
How ’bout if I throw these spotty bananas away and just chug the rum, starting now? *Rummaging in cabinet*
Now that you mention it, rum does go well with chocolate, too.
I suppose once she gets to the talking/questions phase I might change my mind.
NO!
By all means, avoid this at whatever price you have to pay!
Surgically closing her mouth is an option, but I find that raises all kinds of questions in public, particularly from police officers. Duct tape is a very effective and inexpensive temporary solution.
Christmas trees and the date of Christmas itself were all taken from pagan tradition.
Ding-ding-ding. Also,too, if I’m not mistaken the historians believe JC was born sometime in the spring. The winter solstice seemed like a good time for the early church to tack on his birthday for easier transition.
Crap. Now I want rumcake.
I think my favorite Loadpants moment was when his response to the “Epistemic Closure” charge was “National Review does too hire interns!,” which was only one of three or four totally from-left-field-of-Mars posts he had on the topic.
Second place was when he called Brad DeLong stupid (this was about the ecology of pre-Columbus America, I think) and cited a passage from a book, only to have the author of said book point out that Jonah was misreading the passage by 190 degrees.
Surgically closing her mouth is an option
Dude, what do you think Gummi Bears were invented for?
Plum duff, anyone?
AHRRRRRR
the historians believe JC was born sometime in the spring
While shepherds were keeping watch over their flocks by night — which they did when they were lambing. In the spring…
180, I mean. Obviously. He gets no credit for having been partially right, unless we grant that he understands that Columbus did not actually sculpt the continent from nothing. I’m not sure I’m willing to grant that, but YMMV.
While shepherds were keeping watch over their flocks by night — which they did when they were lambing. In the spring…
You presume that’s what “keeping watch” meant.
Let’s put it this way…Mickey Kaus could have been a shepherd.
If you know what I mean.
And I think you do.
JC was born sometime in the spring
Does this have something to do with that Catholic mumbo-jumbo about “Vernal Sins?”
Does this have something to do with that Catholic mumbo-jumbo about “Vernal Sins?”
That’s what Ernest P Worrell did on those camping trips.
War on Christmas is Solsticism.
Columbus did too sculpt it from nothing, and before you knew it those damn Injuns were infesting it because they wanted us to give ’em welfare! Fortunately, Old Hickory was too smart for ’em.
War on Christmas Israel.
Say what you will about the season, it’s certainly a good time of year to waste entire days following S,N! threads and drinking rum instead of working or shopping…
Let’s put it this way…Mickey Kaus could have been a shepherd.
Don’t you mean goatherd? Aren’t mixed flocks an abomination of some sort? (I had a rector in NYC whose family owned a sheep farm in England — he said the best way to separate a mixed flock of sheep and goats was to drive a truck through the herd. The goats would get out of the way.)
All my shopping’s done. I just have to send that 1 free abortion from Planned Parenthood gift card to actor’s mom.
You presume that’s what “keeping watch” meant.
Let’s put it this way…Mickey Kaus could have been a shepherd.
If you know what I mean.
And I think you do.
“I bring you good tidings of great joy!”
“Um, give me minute?”
“A minute,” she said sheepishly.
Damn, if I didn’t have to pick up the Limpette in a few hours I’d be into the rum for real by now–it’s that kind of a day, even here in the Pacific time zone.
Not that there’s anything wrong with this kind of day.
High on a hill was a lonely goatherd
OOH OOH AHH AHH OOH OOH OOH
Loud was the voice of the lonely goatherd
OOH OOH AHH AHH OOH
Folks in a town that was quite remote heard
OOH OOH AHH AHH OOH OOH OOH
Lusty and clear from the goatherd’s throat heard
OOH OOH AHH AHH OOH
Praise the lawd! The work day is finally over. Y’all were the only thing keeping me awake.
1 free abortion from Planned Parenthood gift card to actor’s mom.
It’s decades too late for that.
OT–this stupid economy really sucks! Each year, my Foundation gets a lovely Harry & David gift tower full of yummy stuff from a bank we have investments with. I just got back from the mailbox, and this year all we get is a stupid card…
OOH OOH AHH AHH OOH OOH OOH
More more faster faster OOH OOH AHH AHH OOH OOH OOH
Speaking of stoopit Christmas songs that set my teeth on edge (we were speaking of stoopit Christmas songs that set our teeth on edge, weren’t we? I lose track…) I think “Winter Wonderland” has the most obnoxious lyrics of any song, period, not just “Xmas songs”.
“Later on, we’ll conspire, as we sit, by the fire, to face unafraid, the plans that we made, walking in a winter wonderland.”
I mean, come on, that reeks.
Don’t you mean goatherd? Aren’t mixed flocks an abomination of some sort?
You some kind of bigot?
The comments to that Goldberg post I linked are pretty great. One guy suggests that Christmas isn’t under attack and points out that it’s the only religious federal holiday. Another guy basically calls him a freeloading Commie Jew.
I’d be into the rum for real by now–it’s that kind of a day, even here in the Pacific time zone.
I am eagerly anticipating my annual ‘ho bitches’ christmas soiree this evening. unless it gets snowed out by the 9″ that is predicted…in that case, it will be me and a bottle of hendricks…either way, it’s all good…
1 free abortion from Planned Parenthood gift card to actor’s mom.
It’s decades too late for that.
Make it retroactive.
It’s decades too late for that.
Hush you! Mom trades those for Viagra samples at the free clinic.
by the 9? that is predicted
Mine’s bigger.
Shoe?
Mine’s bigger
that’s what your mom said…or DKW’s mom…or somebody…i forget…
Re the economy: sucks all right. The Limpette’s company used to fly us down to San Francisco in December for a holiday party.
This year? Sadly, No!
Goddammit. Everyone gets to imbibe but me. The only thing I have to amuse myself right now is Jonah Fucking Goldberg? UGH!!!
Jonah Goldberg trolling his own comments section? Hold on, no, that’s Eric Cartman. Family resemblance. Carry on.
8th one is free!
Aren’t mixed flocks an abomination of some sort?
Trust us, actors flocking is an abomination.
Trust us, actors flocking is an abomination.
Shear jealousy.
LMAO, I love the way the other person does it, too.
What perspective is that? That he/she has to take sick leave for his/her equivalents to Christmas and Christians don’t so if there’s one holiday that you should stop bitching about it’s Christmas?
God, NRO readers are such shitstains.
That he/she has to take sick leave for his/her equivalents to Christmas and Christians don’t so if there’s one holiday that you should stop bitching about it’s Christmas?
NRO allows Jews?
Buckley must be spinning in his grave…
Dinner plans:
Christmas Eve Special Squid Recipe
# 2 pounds squid, dressed (head and tentacles separated, mantle removed and the pen discarded)
# 2 garlic cloves, minced
# 1 onion, finely chopped
# 3 Tablespoons olive oil
# 2 cups canned peeled tomatoes
# 1/2 cup water
# Salt and pepper
# 12 Italian black olives, pitted and chopped
# 1/4 cup raisins
# 2 Tablespoons pine nuts
http://homecooking.about.com/od/seafoodrecipes/r/blsea117.htm
Christmas Eve Special Squid Recipe
if that isn’t a lead in for a Janus node recipe I don’t know what is.
Christmas squid = Communion for Cthulhu
The Jews are just such selfish people, aren’t they?
That made me hungry, and at this moment I’m eating some Korean squid w/ kimchi that just happened to be in the fridge.
Glad to know someone’s still reading Henry Ford.
OK, if you’re bored with rum and frivolity and lulz, and want need a hard place to land after the repeal of DADT, try this: bitches ain’t shit
I went to buy some Tide on Saturday and the teenager working the cash register barely even mentioned Jesus, and meanwhile I gotta listen this Shylock whining about having to work the “Sabbath.” When are they gonna start showing us Christians some damn tolerance?
I went to buy some Tide
Proctor and Gamble????
SATANIST!!!!!!!!
crap. Too late to say there was almost certainly no historical Jesus.
Ahem.
hard place to land…try this
Yeah, read that last night, which partly explains the seductive siren song of rum at this early hour
Ah yes. Wish I could take the same refuge.
OK, that’s last time I’m gonna complain about no drinkee while preggy…today.
OK, that’s last time I’m gonna complain about no drinkee while preggy…today.
Around the same time I bred, one of my best friends was pregnant too. She swore off drinking, smoking, pot, and ate healthy as she possibly could. This was her first child.
After 30 hours of labour and a C-section later, she birthed a 13 pound, 10 oz bouncing baby linebacker.
She swore next time to drink and smoke. She did. Her second, a girl, weighed seven pounds at birth.
No. No. No no no no no no no no.
No. No. No no no no no no no no.
Did you “pause-hold down 7-play” that?
There’s an easter egg…
*filing nails*
That oughta keep the pregger one busy for a while…
After 30 hours of labour and a C-section later, she birthed a 13 pound, 10 oz bouncing baby linebacker.
*makes a note to buy cartons of Camel Lights on sale on the off-chance of pregnancy*
*makes a note to buy cartons of Camel Lights on sale on the off-chance of pregnancy*
Well, you could take all 200 of the cigarettes and plug the preggers hole up, thus creating a new form of birth control.
“Later on, we’ll conspire, as we sit, by the fire, to face unafraid, the plans that we made, walking in a winter wonderland.”
or
Later on, we’ll perspire, as we fuck by the fire, you’ll scream when you come, and then we’ll be done, pagan in a winter wonderland
Sorry if this is on topic.
The celibacy rule didn’t come into being until the early middle ages. Like most things, it was all about the denaro. Unmarried preists would be less likely to will their estates to others. If bastards and mistresses wouldn’t inherit, the Church most likely would.
Also, Pope Joey Rats, were the Chipendale dancers unavailable?
Well, you could take all 200 of the cigarettes and plug the preggers hole up, thus creating a new form of birth control.
I really did not need to know about this particular fetish of yours.
I really did not need to know about this particular fetish of yours.
I saw it in Emmanuelle when I was 16 and it’s haunted me ever since.
Ooh, the sun just came out, vanquishing a dank gray drizzle for the first time today. Time to get out and do something wholesome and productive like chopping firewood–them chestnuts don’t roast themselves!
I saw it in Emmanuelle when I was 16 and it’s haunted me ever since.
And that was just one! I’d rather not light my crotch on fire.
What’s with the French and smoking vaginas, anyway?
Perry Como’s version is much better.
Also, I have yet to hear someone wish me a happy solstice. Why must I tolerate this P.C. war on paganism.
How many of you will chip in for my flight to Rome if I promise to punch His German Holiness repeatedly in the throat until he gets through his thick, thick skull that “moral relativism” does not mean “disagreement with J. Ratzinger”?
them chestnuts don’t roast themselves
On DKW’s mom, nuts roast nicely on her chest.
Pope Paul II (1464–1471) was alleged to have died of a heart attack while in a sexual act with a page.
Catholicism does like it’s traditions.
BTW, the title of this post is awesome.
What’s with the French and smoking vaginas, anyway?
They like friction! What can I say?
Also, I have yet to hear someone wish me a happy solstice.
Hm, have a short night, gocart!
Next week, on Sarah Palin’s Alaska…
Next week, on Sarah Palin’s Alaska…
I saw that earlier. That’s a big ol’ dose of WTFery, right there.
Happy Brumalia!
Influenced by the Ancient Greek Lenaia festival, Brumalia was an ancient Roman solstice festival honoring Bacchus, generally held for a month and ending December 25. The festival included drinking and merriment. The name is derived from the Latin word bruma, meaning “shortest day” or “winter solstice”. The festivities almost always occurred on the night of December 24.
“I saw it in Emmanuelle when I was 16 and it’s haunted me ever since.”
That would be Emmanuelle XI
“The Whore on Christmas”
“Hominum” is a genitive plural. “Pluit homines”, dammit, going by Juvenal. Or maybe the ablative: “Pluit hominibus”, after Livy.
Isn’t anyone teaching the third declension any more?
Just because Latin is dead doesn’t mean you get to kick the corpse.
“What’s with the French and smoking vaginas, anyway?”
I tried to smoke a vagina back in the day, but the girl I was with was bong-o-phobic.
I couldn’t spend time to read all the commentary just had to say, “Oh my mother!”
I can’t believe that strippers are hosted at the Vatican — I mean at least out in the open like that.
Conservatives are continually projecting onto us liberals, wishing like hell we’d walk over to them and grab their little peckers and give them a righteous hand job. But we won’t, so they accuse us anyway.
The best part of the video was the giggling nuns. LOL!
“What’s with the French and smoking vaginas, anyway?”
What’s with right wingers and smoking penises?
Davis X.
See Viktor D. Hansen below.
It’s due to liberals inventing twitter.
Raisins also.
If they weren’t able to talk about a black man “ramming things down their throat”, they would have a lot less to say.
Oddly, with all the ramming down the throat going on, you would think they would shut up more.
I anxiously await DKW’s re-entry…
That’s what actor’s mom said.
Around the same time I bred, one of my best friends was pregnant too…
Well, birth weight has been trending down so if we extrapolate the curve back to a 13lb 10oz baby, that would mean actor was spawning some time in the early 60’s. 1860’s that is. Geezer.
Veiled astronaut splashdown reference?
“That’s what actor’s mom said.”
I’m sure all the moms you favor with your Wangchuck say that.
Everybody Wangchuck Tonight . . .
War on Christmas Edition Part II:
POOP.
I’m sure all the moms you favor with your Wangchuck say that.
This is *actually* true.
“This is *actually* true.”
Of course it is.
Ok, so after peeing on Baby Jesus tonight for the WOC, as you may imagine, I was peckish…so guess what I made?
Tangerine and balsamic glazed roasted chicken with rutabagas and carrots.
O
M
G
No raisins.
Well since no one else is going to stand up for raisins, I guess I’ll have to. Not for use in baking? Uh, oatmeal-chocolate chip cookies just sounds gross.
Ah, what the heck. Let’s just bust out the big guns right now.
Raisins not for baking? I’ll just leave this right here.
I’ve never heard of butter tarts. I’m sure if I dug raisins I’d be all over it.
A momfucker’s love for the raisin
Led him to fire with guns blazin’
“Come here, looky looky!
A raisined-up cookie
And this buttered-up tart I’ve been glazin!”
I think Butter Tarts would make a good pr0n name.
Butter tarts are really good. Also mincemeat.
Sub, that’s one of your best.
Most. Overdressed. Concern-troll. EVER.
I’m sure The Creepiest Pope Of All Time was profoundly shocked to learn of the abuse he himself helped cover up & keep going before he became Pope. Surely his own past history as a staunch supporter of the Vatican’s “catch-&-release” policy toward pedo priests, even after learning of its sickening (& totally predictable) results, & his advocacy of counseling over defrocking despite its (also predictable) abysmal track-record, is central to his point.
Fixed, free of charge. You’re welcome, Yer Holiness.
Also, HAPPY SOLSTICE TO ALL THE GODLESS HEATHENS & UNBELIEVERS!
Holy fuck there McGravitas,
That limmerick, wow how fast it was,
About how I’m a lover
Of raisins and mothers
My head it spins, yes it does.
Subby lies about mincemeat. What are you, a thousand years old?
Mincemeat is like fruitcake, minue the cake.
Butter tarts are two of my favourite words, mashed together in an obscenely rich and sweet pastry. And it’s gots raisins.
Canadian pastry fight!
No raisins.
YOU RUINED IT!
RAISINS DON”T NEED TO BE DEFENDED!!!!
Heralded in poetry, perhaps.
Sub, you kicked raisin-hater ass!
Pup, don’t hate…you woulda loved it.
Tangerine and balsamic glazed roasted chicken with rutabagas and carrots.
That sounds lovely.
I am immortal.
“That sounds lovely.”
It was amazing. What’s more, I just made it up on the fly cuz I needed to use up a bunch of tangerines.
Ok my iPhone has no sound…still. All I see is lotsa hair.
I needed to use up a bunch of tangerines.
One word: trebuchet.
Not surprisingly, when the Pope stands up at the end of this, it looks like he’s pitched a tent.*
To be fair, very few things (with the exception of Jason Statham) are hotter than buff young Italian men.
Oh and shameless blogwhore: new post on Thomas Kinkade.
very few things (with the exception of Jason Statham) are hotter than buff young Italian men.
Just like owning a Fiat: you spend half your time buffing out the dents.
What was that about buffing young Italian men?
AFAF, totes heterosexually of course.
“Raisins” (also “capers”): Restaurant code for RAT TURDS!
“One word: trebuchet.”
I’m proud tO say I know this more than a font…now.
Also, YAY–N to the B is here!
N to the B is here!
Briefly. Mini__B is asleep and Despicable Me is queued on the player. I’ll be back later.
I’m sure I’ll be asleep…but you gotta give us a short review lata.
I’ve already seen it. Childish humor that has me laughing like a hyena. Example: Gru (the title villain) needs a loan, so he goes to the Bank of Evil, “Formerly Lehman Brothers.”
Yup, i chuckled as soon as I read that.
Did I breaked it already?
I was just gonna ask some “interesting” questions about Canada.
Questions like:
How fucking cold is it there?
&
Do you guys use the term “cockblock” up there?
It’s currently 3 below zero here in LEAFS SUCK. That’s twenty eight or so in your Fahrenheit degrees.
We do use the term “cockblock” up here. It means when you pee on a metal pole in the winter and your urine flash freezes you to it.
Holy shit.
And are you teasing me? Cuz if you’re not, it means something totally different here.
N__B said,
December 21, 2010 at 2:55 (kill)
Conversation with a friend, many years back:
Me: Oooh did you see that hot blonde guy in the Porsche? Can’t beat that.”
Him: “What about a hot Italian guy in a Ferrari?”
Me: “Nah, you know it’s be impossible to get either one to work in the morning.”
Hey, cockblock has a wiki page which has a quote from the University of Western Ontario student paper.
Everything IS connected.
There are so few people here, I feel like I should be naughty and do something to defile this thread. *grabs spray can*
We do use the term “cockblock” up here. It means when you pee on a metal pole in the winter and your urine flash freezes you to it
No no – “cockblock” is when your junk is totally encased in ice – which explains the Canadian version of “fap fap fap” : CLANK CLANK CLANK.
41 Fahrenheit.
I’m quite surprised they quoted UWO. London doesn’t get anywhere near as cold as Waterloo – plus the University of Waterloo Engineering mascot is the Ridgid Tool. I’m sure a lot of Waterloo engineers have a lot of experience with being cockblocked.
“Ridgid Tool. ”
Um, WHAT? rofl
“l. I’m sure a lot of Waterloo engineers have a lot of experience with being cockblocked.”
Awwwww I say that cuz I always root for the underdog.
I did not need to know there was a “seduction community.”
There’s supposed be a period after “awwww”. iPhone.
M., you’re mistaken. You were looking up “douches”
BTW, if any man ever tries to do that subtle put-down thing with me, I hope he expects to get punched in the nads.
Rule #1: be a guy who’s not typing all the time.
D’OH!
Hunting & pecking any different?
There are three big Engineering skules in Ontario – Waterloo, Queens and LEAFS SUCK. Each has its own mascot and it is the burning desire of every engineering student to steal one of these. Waterloo’s Ridgid Tool is a five foot long pipe wrench. Queens has their greased pole, a former goal post that f!rosh climb every year. UofT’s mascot is the Cannon, the smallest of the lot at eight inches, it is also the only one capable of shooting a load.
Uh, did I mention that these traditions date back to a time when engineering was an extremely male dominated field?
We are we are we are we are the engineers!
Wow. Well, I suppose it makes sense that guys that age would be so…phallus-centric.
So, are there lots more wimmin in engineering now?
Yes, but they’re still a minority. Like male nurses.
So, are there lots more wimmin in engineering now?
When I was a pupa, the TUTE was 21% people of the female persuasion. It’s now 23%. Two percent improvement in 24 years…can’t beat that!
Hence the appreciation that engineering students have for the phrase “cockblock”. Imagine going to university – the fuckingest time of life – and ending up in a class with nine guys for every girl.
female persuasion
Who persuades them, the seduction community?
Who persuades them…?
The Naugahydists.
N_B, those stats make my lady-boner go away.
And now my question about cockblocking seems almost prescient.
those stats make my lady-boner go away.
TUTE boys are horny enough to look past minor problems like ladies with boners. Most of them thought the problem with The Crying Game was that there wasn’t enough sex.
Hunting & pecking any different?
No, but hunting and peckering is.
Canuckian women in engineering article. Apparently hings have been going downhill since I left skule. Women enrolled in engineering hit a high of 21% in 2001 and that has now dropped to 17%.
Eat our almost-one-quarter-estrogen-laced dust Waterloo! TUTE RULES!
N_B, I LOLed.
So is anyone drinking? I want to get vicariously tipsy.
BTW: The TUTE SCREW is not what you think it is.
D’uh. Didn’t I tell you about my new glass?
Rule #1: be a guy who’s not typing all the time.
Because the ladeez hate strong fingers?
So is anyone drinking? I want to get vicariously tipsy.
I’m just high on life in America.
“D’uh. Didn’t I tell you about my new glass?”
Have you opened up the Old Crow yet?
I’m gonna get murdered cuz I’ve brought up old crow in like 50 different threads.
Also…am I feeling good yet?
Are you curious yellow?
Also…am I feeling good yet?
I dunno, come a bit closer and we’ll find out.
Goddammit, N_B made google a Swedish film.
DKW–oh, all right. Oops, sorry my boobs “accidentally” brushed against your arm. My bad.
N_B made google a Swedish film.
For my next trick, I make Yahoo into a curse word for a talking ape.
I’m impressed!
Not to worry vs, no harm done. Say this is a great opportunity for me to stare deeply into your eyes, my drifting closer to yours while my lips slowly open and…
BOOBIES!!!!
I’m impressed!
I always whip out my big throbbing free associations when the chix is near.
DKW, you are smooth. Smoother than Old Crow, even.
“I always whip out my big throbbing free associations when the chix is near.”
Rofl. Well done.
OT (hahaha) it’s like three hours until showtime and it’s overcast here in LEAFS SUCK.
Ok, I better get off. Not like that!
Sweet dreams all, but especially you, DKW.
Sweet dreams all, but especially you, DKW.
Good night vs. I’ll have another hit of Bulleit to help you vicariously pass out.
I LOLed. Appreciate that.
Have you seen these yutzes who executed a Santa statue? By firing squad, no less.
“The coupe disgrace”???
I’m gonna get murdered cuz I’ve brought up Old Crow® in like 50 different threads
Blame me, I (literally) brought it up first.
WOOHOO!
The skies have cleared, the telescope is ready. It is fucking rare since moving to the eternally celestially occluded pacific northwest that I get to view any heavenly acivities.
Now if I can just keep from passing out for a while until the show begins…
I did not need to know there was a “seduction community.”
And there’s a blog dedicated to making fun of them.
So is anyone drinking? I want to get vicariously tipsy.
Yup. Abita Turbodog.
My early-afternoon pining for rum has been fulfilled. Pupi-Max, we’d best not exult overmuch at this hour since as you know, occlusion strikes hereabouts at the drop of a fir needle. Where are you set up, on the roof?
I’ve brought up Old Crow® in like 50 different threads
Nevermore!
Nevermore!
Mmmmm, Old Raven®. Or Old Guy Ravin’®.
Now I’m raving that there’ll be no clear skies for me to see the eclipse.
The fapping coming from the Vatican that night was like a rolling thunder.
Yow, check what “Slim”‘s link linked to:
Entitled: “A Man Never Votes for a Cunt!” Tell that to Rich Lowery!
Yow, check what “Slim”‘s link linked to:
Damn, that is one depressing site. Futrelle brings some good trashing down on those losers, but they’re even more pathetic and squeaky than the wingnuts featured here at Teh Sadly.
I… needed to change that, anyway.
Hey, I wasn’t mocking, Slim.
There is worse at that link, like cheerful approval of the murder of Afghanistan’s highest-ranking female police officer, in comments. I went so far as to “report abuse” to Booglespot.
Wow, it’s quieter than usual here tonight… *AWWWK* [Writhing, rending garments, crouching on haunches] OWWOOOOOOOOOooooooo……….
I wasn’t mocking you either, Slim – thanks (I think) for pointing out Man Boobz. It’s even more of a horror circus than this place, and – much as I don’t like to admit it to myself – I dig sites like that.
&$#**!@!! Dense, visually impenetrable clouds just returned and it’s drizzling again! WHY DO TEH SKY GODS HATE OUR HUMBLE, UNDEMANDING NORTHWESTERN HABITAT?
No, no mocking was assumed. It just occurred to me that I hadn’t changed that supposed-to-be-one-time-only-’cause-I-was-stoned-and-that-commercial-made-me-laugh nickname in like a month of so. ‘Course, when one only posts maybe once a week, that sort of thing will happen.
Go outside and look up right now. The eclipse is almost in its totality. Awesome…
Bob is a cowardly shit-stain…
OK, it’s cleared up a bit and the eclipse is currently semi-visible through a rather even, heterogeneous skein of clouds. The odd thing is that from my perspective it’s hard to tell how much the dimming effect is due to the eclipse vs. that from the clouds.
Alternately, it could be 90% due to the rum. Who knows? Not even The Shadow.
Go outside and look up right now.
Do you want me to drown, turkey-style?
Men bashing is not allowed.
Veiled anti-masturbation propaganda.
‘Kay, ventured outside several times during the event, and accordion’ to my calkyulations, swamp gas was to blame for fuzzy visions thereof. Not rum.
Didn’t see a thing here or even try, thanks to the cloud cover when I hit the sack at 10:30.
Thanks a lot, Ma Nature.
What’s with the bullshit ad below this posting? It’s an astroturfing ad in defense of for profit universities and it resembles a typical Sadly, No posting. Weird.
And just like that, it’s gone.
it resembles a typical Sadly, No posting
Meandering, obscure, and full of goatse?
The important question is – who is that girl holding their jackets? That is some smoking hotness there.
who is that girl holding their jackets? That is some smoking hotness there
The troupe offered to have her strip to the waist and perform acrobatics, but the pope wasn’t interested.
The important question is – who is that girl holding their jackets? That is some smoking hotness there.
Yes please, more jacket lady.
Reggie’s an asshole again:
Am I the only one who had NO idea Archie was still in existence?
RedState produces tediously predictable “celebrate Jesus! He’s a conservative!” article.
A little more thought went into it than in the sermon of the fundie pastor I used to know who told his congregation “was Jesus a conservative? Absolutely! Because Jesus believed in the truth, and that’s what conservatives believe in!” Not much, but a bit. Does this mean the average conservative’s gotten smarter in the last couple of years and they’re trying to keep up?
Or, does it only mean that particular congregation was just dumber than a bag of hammers?
VS, I had no idea who he was and I still don’t. Hole in my pop culture, or am I not missing much?
NEways, from Sub’s link,
And then you’ll grow up and find out that “what is best for this country” is usually the very last thing to come into politics.
It’s simple – even people with opposing views can find common ground if they truly want
what is best for this countryto stay on the gravy train of huge corporate donors who bankrolled both of their campaigns to the tune of millions of dollarsFixxed!
Recent research has demonstrated some of the differences between men and women that everyone has known intuitively since thought became rational.
Precisely why boys do worse in math and English than girls!
The “hey, what’s in this drink” line from “Baby’ It’s Cold Outside” is so totally an “oh my, some stuff might start happening for which I am not responsible and thus not a bad person for doing/enjoying” line. If you think someone’s slipped you a Mickey/roofie/overly-strong drink and are actually worried about it, you don’t ask him what’s in it, sheesh.
I’m Marshall McLuhan, and you know nothing of my work. How you get paid to write about anything is amazing!
Also, everyone has known intuitively since thought became rational is something of an odd construction, since intuition and reason are, while not quite opposites, at least quite distinct. At least you find a much higher grade of sophistry in a Papal Bull.