Gay Gay Gay Gay Gay Judge Makes Gay Gay Gay Decision

ABOVE: Don Bob “Duelling Banjo” Surber


Among the tsunami of wingnut outrage about the decision in California that will require all men to get gay-married and have teh buttsecks on their honeymoon with their new husbands, it’s not really a shocker that Don Bob “Squeal Like A Pig” Surber would win the statuette for the best performance by a sexually insecure male over the age of thirty attempting to demonstrate his macho creds. For extra hilarity points, Don’s take on the California decision demonstrates — yet again — that singular absence of intellectual acuity that consigns him to the job of being an opinion columnist for a newspaper in West Virginia, a state where newspapers are more often torn up into squares for use in an outhouse (after clipping out any coupons for Hot Pockets and Slim Jims) than are actually read. (“Too derned many big words!”)

The headline to Surber’s post on the California decision starts off the fun: “Judge: Voting Unconstitutional,” revealing that Don Bob not only hadn’t made it through the 138 page decision (“Too derned many big words!”) but also apparently learned everything he knows about the opinion from the chryon crawl during a Fox News Broadcast (“I wish they’d slow that derned thing down a little so it’d be easier for me to read!”). Understandably the subtle difference between the process of voting and the result of a particular vote is difficult for Don Bob to grasp, particularly inasmuch as Don Bob still can’t figure out the difference between antifreeze and crème de menthe, regularly pouring the former into his Southern Comfort stingers. (“Doc, this ringing in my ears won’t go away and I think I may be going blind.”) I looked back through Don’s scribblings to see if he expressed similar outrage when the Supreme Court has overturned democratically adopted gun prohibition laws. Sadly, no!

The voters of California decided that marriage is between a man and a woman.

A gay federal judge told them to go to help.

Wait a minute! Judge Walker is GAY? Are gay judges even allowed? Won’t they decide cases based on which side has the cutest attorneys and shout “fabulous objection” and stuff from the bench? And what children will ever again dream of going to law school once they realize that they might have to stand up in a courtroom and call a gay judge “your honor”?

The irony is that the same type of improvisational adjudication gave us the Plessey [sic] v. Ferguson ruling that denied blacks their 14th Amendment rights for 58 years.

Er, right, Don Bob. A case striking down a discriminatory law as unconstitutional is exactly the same thing as a case upholding a discriminatory law as constitutional. Because, I guess, if you let courts strike down discriminatory laws it means that courts cannot strike down other discriminatory laws and so gay marriage will mean that women can’t vote and blacks must ride in the back of the bus or something.

Don, it’s arguments like this that causes the Pulitzer Committee to call you each and every year and ask you, yet again, to stop nominating yourself. Not going to happen, Don Bob. Ever. As in I’ll gay marry Ryan Kwanten before Don Bob even gets a Pulitzer nomination and I’ll gay-have Ryan Kwanten’s gay children before Don Bob wins the prize itself.

Impeach the judge for hearing a case in which he had a pecuniary interest — a tax break if he marries his gay lover.

OMG, he might save a couple of hundred bucks on his California taxes. That’s nothing of course compared to the money that he’ll save by having a family membership at the gym and by being able to share a Costco membership. Assuming, of course, the gay judge Walker wants to gay marry his gay lover and live in a gay house on gay street and do gay things with other gay-married gay people. Did Don Bob mention that the judge was gay?

Actually, you have to wonder if there is any judge who could have been impartial in deciding the California case. If the opponents of gay marriage are correct, gay marriage will destroy the institution of “opposite” marriage, which will be bad for heterosexuals. And of course the gay judges will always vote for the gay. So who could possibly be impartial except perhaps for . . .

. . . a Karakasa. (Jesse Taylor nominates Cthulhu for the job.)

 

Comments: 268

 
 
 

That sure is one happy looking dong-monster.

 
 

I thinks he’s really in shock that a gay person slipped through the cracks and became a (gasp!) judge.

 
 

“I’ll gay-have abort Ryan Kwanten’s gay children before Don Bob wins the prize itself.”

Get with the Liberal Agenda, buster.

 
 

Did he really say ‘go to help’?

 
 

Actually, we have about $6K~$9K in extra federal taxes for not having our relationship recognized. $3K on our health insurance – because it’s based upon individual market, not actual price – and then individual deductions. It was particularly high in 2009.

 
 

I thinks he’s really in shock that a gay person slipped through the cracks and became a (gasp!) judge.

Wait ’til he learns that the judge is both a Republican and was appointed by George Herbert Walker Bush.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

“a tax break if he marries his gay lover.”

The “gay lover” thing is such fucking insulting bullshit. At least give them the dignity of calling his partner his “boyfriend.”

 
 

some of the wingnuts I’ve seen quoted seem to always refer to the judge as “openly gay”.

I think the objection here is that if the gay judge was properly closeted, and society had the properly hateful attitudes toward gays, that the judge could be threatened with personal and professional destruction in order to force him to make the ‘right’ decisions.

 
 

Wait ’til he learns that the judge is both a Republican

A gay Republican that SUPPORTS same sex marriage? Gay Patriot is gonna have a problem with that….

 
 

As for who would make an acceptable judge, I nominate Treebeard.

 
 

Wait ’til he learns that the judge is both a Republican and was appointed by George Herbert Walker Bush.

I heard he was appointed by St. Ronnie. And several liberal senators, including Kennedy, voted against him.

 
 

Impeach the judge for hearing a case in which he had a pecuniary interest — a tax break if he marries his gay lover.

And if he doesn’t? P.S. he’s a conservative Reagan appointee, which means voting in accordance with pecuniary interests is AOK.

 
 

Why is “kids, there’s some things you just can’t vote on” so hard to these folks to understand?

PROTIP: It’s difficult to believe one is a “defender of liberty” if you’re arguing in defense of mob rule.

 
 

Dammit, Joe Max, how dare you hit enter on your post while the UPS guy was interrupting me.

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

…improvisational adjudication…

Jazz – invented by negroes, perpetuated by fags

 
Lurking Canadian
 

Why is “kids, there’s some things you just can’t vote on” so hard to these folks to understand?

It’s only hard for them to understand when they don’t like the outcome.

 
 

The best way to help the economy and to stop the government takeover of the economy is to give tax cuts, unless it’s the fags gettin’ ’em.

 
 

As for who would make an acceptable judge, I nominate Treebeard.

Or one of his cousins.

 
 

while the UPS guy was interrupting me.

is that what you kids are calling it these days?

 
 

is that what you kids are calling it these days?

This comment prompts a question:

Are there “special” Zombee UPS delivery drivers? Otherwise one would think the turnover would be quite high on some routes.

*Jumps back on list*

 
 

Are there “special” Zombee UPS delivery drivers?

Hell, it’s one of the most popular zombizzle jobs!! Everybody opens the door for Brown.

[yes, i did that as a special present for CERTAIN COMMENTERS]

 
 

while the UPS guy was interrupting me.

Dick in a box?

 
 

He was originally nominated by St. Ronnie.

From Wikipoopia:

“Walker’s original nomination to the bench by Ronald Reagan in 1987 stalled in the Senate Judiciary Committee because of controversy over his representation of the United States Olympic Committee in a lawsuit that prohibited the use of the title “Gay Olympics”.[4] Two dozen House Democrats, led by Rep. Nancy Pelosi of San Francisco, opposed his nomination because of his alleged “insensitivity” to gays and the poor. Years later, the San Francisco Chronicle noted the irony of this opposition due to Walker’s sexual orientation.[5]”

GHWB renominated him.

 
 

PROTIP: It’s difficult to believe one is a “defender of liberty” if you’re arguing in defense of mob rule.

Problem with that is there’s plenty of glibertarian types out there who have defined “liberty” as “What I agree with” and “mob rule” as “what other people agree with.” This leads them to say that any political occurences they don’t agree with are infringements on their liberty and that they have a right to see their views represented in government all the time.

But libertarians are poopheads, so who cares what they say.

 
 

Wait ’til he learns that the judge is both a Republican and was appointed by George Herbert Walker Bush.

Worse.

Judge Walker was originally nominated to the Federal bench by Ronald Reagan. His nomination was stalled at that time because he was lead counsel on a suit brought by the US Olympic Committee to prevent the “Gay Olympics” from using the word “Olympics” (it’s referred to now as the “Gay Games” for that reason).

 
 

You can all GO TO HELL, you know what I meant. I’m totally saving myself for Dr. Pezzi, bitches.

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

I thought Reagan nominated Walker.

Also, T&U needs to vote if she hasn’t already.

 
 

Walker is gay? That must be a real stretch for Chuck Norris’s acting chops.

 
 

Judge Walker was originally nominated to the Federal bench by Ronald Reagan. His nomination was stalled at that time because he was lead counsel on a suit brought by the US Olympic Committee to prevent the “Gay Olympics” from using the word “Olympics” (it’s referred to now as the “Gay Games” for that reason).

I read that somewhere.

 
 

Obviously if gays and straights are out, and bisexuals too prone to a split decision on the issue, it must fall to asexuals to render the judgment.

As an asexual, I take it as my solemn duty to render the appropriate judgment.

Don Surber is to be forthwith fired from a cannon into the sun for reckless stupidity and aggressive ignorance and there shall be gay buttsecks abortions for all.

All right, that’s enough legalification for one day.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Also, T&U needs to vote if she hasn’t already.

I did. Two days ago. Now I’m going to vote to PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE!

 
 

Walker is gay? That must be a real stretch for Chuck Norris’s acting chops.

Um, not as much as you might think.

 
 

Now I’m going to vote to PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE!

So you’re in favor of Prop 8, huh?

 
 

I got REALLY, REALLY STRESSED last night when I found out that teh ghey judge had ordered mandatory ghey marriage. I thought about how I would have to leave my wife and daughter, and go find some guy to hook up with. But… they all seem so … meh. I really prefer women, and I just don’t think I could ever have that kind of feeling with another man. What should I do? How can I get out of this?? Isn’t there some kind of waiver or something??!?

Hmm? What’s that….? ???? Oh… voluntary? Gays and opposites can marry who they want? Then I’ll just STFU.

 
 

Obviously if gays and straights are out, and bisexuals too prone to a split decision on the issue, it must fall to asexuals to render the judgment.

Now, do you mean asexual by choice, asexual by circumstance, or do you include people who haven’t gotten any lately?

 
 

I really prefer women, and I just don’t think I could ever have that kind of feeling with another man. What should I do? How can I get out of this?? Isn’t there some kind of waiver or something??!?

There’s a letter to Penthouse The Advocate in this.

 
 

Another asexual chiming in, in support of Cerberus’ decision above.

Make it so.

 
 

I read that somewhere.

Damn me and my photographic memory…

 
 

Now I’m going to vote to PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE!

Why do you hate the Constitution?

 
 

Impeach the judge for hearing a case in which he had a pecuniary interest — a tax break if he marries his gay lover.

Well, there’s a reason to bring back the marriage penalty.

 
 

Why do you hate the Constitution?

She’s afraid that the gheyz will make her leave Mr. T&U for Paris Hilton.

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

My opposite marriage is now in tatters, but only at the district court level.

 
 

actor212-

By freak accident of birth, I blame the gamma radiation.

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

Now I’m going to vote to PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE!

Finally, in these times of rancorous partisanship, something everyone can agree on.

 
Lurking Canadian
 

Now I’m going to vote to PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE!

Now, see, this is why giving women the vote was a bad idea.

 
 

Now, see, this is why giving women the vote menses was a bad idea.

Fixed!

 
 

Now, see, this is why giving women the vote was a bad idea.

I blame Lysistrata.

 
 

By freak accident of birth, I blame the gamma radiation.

You mean your skin turns green and you have to buy a whole new wardrobe every week too?????

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

You mean your skin turns green and you have to buy a whole new wardrobe every week too?????

If you can call a white shirt and purple pants “a whole wardrobe.”

 
 

Yeah, finding the stretchy purple pants was a godsend, too bad they tend to fray at the ends.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Why do you hate the Constitution?

Because it makes no mention of Sparkleponies.

The rest of you are on notice.

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

To make matters worse for Mr. Suber, the FEMocrat Senate just confirmed Judge GAYgan to the Supreme[s] Court.

 
 

Menses were “given” to women? What’s the return policy?

 
 

To make matters worse for Mr. Suber, the FEMocrat Senate just confirmed Judge GAYgan to the Supreme[s] Court.

It truly is a gay day in America

 
 

My opposite marriage is now in tatters

Shadoobee.

 
 

Menses were “given” to women? What’s the return policy?

You had seven days. Sadly, Eve was kicked out of the store.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Menses were “given” to women? What’s the return policy?

I lost my gift receipt. 🙁

 
 

My opposite marriage is now in tatters

Shadoobee.

I see what you do here.

 
 

Nate Silver hilariously suggests that both Kagan and Roberts are not sure things on upholding the Prop 8 decision. I can only assume the reason Roberts is not a sure thing is because he is possibly a secret gay, as we all know.

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

I can only assume the reason Roberts is not a sure thing is because he is possibly a secret gay, as we all know.

Comet could hit Earth between now and the time the case makes it to the SCOTUS.

 
 

Roberts is not a sure thing is because he is possibly a secret gay

Well, first we’d have to prove he was a secret human.

 
 

I can only assume the reason Roberts is not a sure thing is because he is possibly a secret gay, as we all know.

*tearing up Alito ticket*

 
 

Wow, now I want to live in a gay house on gay street, and I’m not even gay.

 
 

For fuck’s sake! Ben Nelson voted against her? Five Republicans had the cojones to vote for her and fucking BEN NELSON couldn’t sack up???

 
 

Ah-gaya ma ma ma, into the night-ahh
gaya ma ma ma, gay-ay-ay-ay, ah
Life in a northern town
Ah-gay ma ma ma, take it easy on yourself
Ah-gaya ma ma ma, into the night-ahh
gaya ma ma ma, gay-ay-ay-ay, ah
Life in a northern town
Ah gay ma ma ma ma
Ah-gaya ma ma ma, into the night-ahh
gaya ma ma ma, gay-ay-ay-ay, ah
Life in a northern town
Ah gay ma ma ma ma
Ah-gaya ma ma ma, into the night-ahh
gay ma ma ma, gay-ay-ay-ay, ah
Life in a northern town
Ah gay ma ma ma ma

 
 

Things like “fabulous objection” are the reason I started and keep reading this site. The only thing funnier are the comments. But seriously…hilarious, dude. *still snickering*

 
 

You should have seen the bitch who was just on Chris’ show. What a snot. Chris has more patience than I give him credit for. I would have cut the interview short; she was a piece of shit who wouldn’t answer questions that would clearly reveal her bigotry. I really honestly wanted to punch her.

 
 

Don Bob is just worried because his hound dog has been itching for a ring on his paw before he puts out anymore…

 
 

For fuck’s sake! Ben Nelson voted against her? Five Republicans had the cojones to vote for her and fucking BEN NELSON couldn’t sack up???

veiled sack reference

 
 

Release the Kagan!

 
 

WAIT —

So when I get to California am I issued a gay? Or is there a waiting line? I hope I get #69 or #2; it’s my lucky number.

I’d hate to have to find a significant other with my charm, smarts and good looks like Don Bob…

 
 

So when I get to California am I issued a gay?

You’ll be paired up at the border or airport.

 
 

Why doesn’t anyone ever answer the important question here: If a gay friend of mine gets married, do I HAVE to buy a wedding present?!

 
 

Does this scribe, this Don-person, really look like that? I understand that it is possible to do magic with images, but…is that his actual face?

As pharoah, and later in my eternal life as goddess, I always tried to be generous and nonjudgmental. But really, words fail me…

 
 

If a gay friend of mine gets married, do I HAVE to buy a wedding present?!

It’s just like when your straight friends get married: you can’t go wrong with Fleshlights and novelty dildos.

Also, didae?

 
 

*tearing up Alito ticket*

Why, because they can’t both be? I’m thinking there are hours spent playing giggling games of “Find the Gavel.” Hint: it’s always in someone’s briefs.

 
 

Roberts is not a sure thing is because he is possibly a secret gay

Well, first we’d have to prove he was a secret human.

That’s offensive to robosexuals and the roboflexible.

 
 

So when I get to California am I issued a gay?

I want a sparkly miniature one with wings a pink horn!

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

as in I’ll gay marry Ryan Kwanten

I!

W?

Sex tape?

 
 

the chryon crawl during a Fox News Broadcast

Sounds like something from the new Anchor Babies show on Faux and Friends that Jon Stewart talked about yesterday. How come there are no black chryons in their box?

 
Captain Industry
 

So when I get to California am I issued a gay?

You’re issued your very own Pocket Gay, ready to help you with all your accessorizing and decorating needs. Alternately, you can request a Pocket Lesbian, but I hear they’re a bit harder to get – there’s only so many U-Hauls, after all.

And I believe I have your fabulous objection right here. It needs more limp wrist, though.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

Worse.

Judge Walker was originally nominated to the Federal bench by Ronald Reagan. His nomination was stalled at that time because he was lead counsel on a suit brought by the US Olympic Committee to prevent the “Gay Olympics” from using the word “Olympics” (it’s referred to now as the “Gay Games” for that reason).

Not only that, he was attacked by Nancy Pelosi for being insensitive to gays.

 
 

I want a sparkly miniature one with wings a pink horn!

I think you two will have to supply your own sparkly pink lady horn.

 
Cheney Folk Hero
 

Hey yall, i like your blog & think its funnjy but it’s pretty bigoted the way you makre fun of West Virginia. the group you are Teh Snarking on are white but they are still a poor exploited group of people

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

That’s offensive to robosexuals and the roboflexible.

Obligatory.

 
 

I think you two will have to supply your own sparkly pink lady horn.

Sparkly two-headed dildos? FUN!

 
 

How come there are no black chryons in their box?

They only represent 1% of the audience. Plus, black people, from what I’m told, know bullshit when they see it. Similar to Italians.

HeyyyyOhhhh!

 
 

You’ll ‘gay-have’ his children? Don’t you know we only have gay abortions around here? What are you; some kind of ~freak~?

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

We can’t turn an aborted fetus gay, so we have to gay-have SOME children.

 
 

I welcome our fabulous new overlords.

For fun(?) i wandered into the cesspool that is Yahoo comments – not recommended if you want to retain any hope for the future of the world.

 
Captain Industry
 

Sparkly two-headed dildos? FUN!

Hot Horny Humpers 2: The Daily Grind

 
 

Don’t you know we only have gay abortions around here?

A-HEM!

 
 

We can’t turn an aborted fetus gay, so we have to gay-have SOME children.

Not to mention the many Gay Anchor Babies that will be needed for the approaching hordes of immigrants from Homostan.

 
 

Foolish sinners and knaves begin to bring up boring old news about all the people dying in Fallujah since the US assault left a bunch of chemicals around.

Dramatic increases in infant mortality, cancer and leukaemia in the Iraqi city of Fallujah, which was bombarded by US Marines in 2004, exceed those reported by survivors of the atomic bombs that were dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki in 1945, according to a new study.

Iraqi doctors in Fallujah have complained since 2005 of being overwhelmed by the number of babies with serious birth defects, ranging from a girl born with two heads to paralysis of the lower limbs. They said they were also seeing far more cancers than they did before the battle for Fallujah between US troops and insurgents.

Their claims have been supported by a survey showing a four-fold increase in all cancers and a 12-fold increase in childhood cancer in under-14s. Infant mortality in the city is more than four times higher than in neighbouring Jordan and eight times higher than in Kuwait.

Pffft. Idiots. The SURGE fixed everything in Iraq, though we have to stay there forever and keep promising to begin to be out by next year each year we say that.

 
 

The judge is not “openly gay”. He is a “practicing homosexual”. He hopes to master gay by the time the appeal comes up.

 
 

Walker is gay? That must be a real stretch for Chuck Norris’s acting chops.

Um, not as much as you might think.

I’ll say. Chuck Norris “workout” commercial or audition tape for Village People’s Can’t Stop The Music? You decide:

Chuck Norris Total Gym

 
 

Practice make perfect.

 
 

that singular absence of intellectual acuity that consigns him to the job of being an opinion columnist for a newspaper in West Virginia, a state where newspapers are more often torn up into squares for use in an outhouse (after clipping out any coupons for Hot Pockets and Slim Jims) than are actually read. (“Too derned many big words!”)

Not to be a killjoy, but I don’t think this line was necessary.

 
 

Obviously the only group that can “transcend” this pernicious issue are the transsexuals. From now on, only transsexuals may be judges.

You guys are going to need to re-evaluate your wardrobe.

 
 

I didn’t know the judge was an gay. Non-fictional judges aren’t really famous outside their home countries. He’s also a libertarian who was personally appointed to the bench by the Gipper, so fucking with him is fucking with the will of Ronnie PBUH. Sorry, but Prop 8 was unconstitutional. The Great Communicator said so.

 
 

@Linnaeus. Perhaps the line wasn’t “necessary” but given that the State elected Shelley Capito to the Senate House it was well deserved.

I regularly make fun of other rural states without getting much pushback. Is there some huge diaspora of West Virginians that still hold a soft spot in their hearts for the meth labs and outdoor plumbing of their former home state?

 
 

Might be time for a ‘shop of West Va. holding a giant sammich for the “Leave W. Va. ALOOONE!” lurkers.

 
 

Not to be a killjoy, but I don’t think this line was necessary.

As a resident of Georgia, everyone is welcome to use our state — excepting Atlanta — as a stand-in representative for primitivist reactionism.

 
 

I can only assume the reason Roberts is not a sure thing is because he is possibly a secret gay, as we all know.

Hurry, there’s a baby sale sale at Gymboree!
Old TBogg post (with photo) of the very young Justice John G. Roberts in which he is totally not at all gay like those nice gay men he is sitting next to with 70’s porn stash. No sirreee Bob, not at all gay.

 
 

I regularly make fun of other rural states without getting much pushback. Is there some huge diaspora of West Virginians that still hold a soft spot in their hearts for the meth labs and outdoor plumbing of their former home state?

I don’t know about the others, but I’m not fond of making fun of any states as a whole. It doesn’t seem to be any different than the Freichtards hating on the entire Eastern seaboard and West Coast. Maybe for liberals, it’s because WV is an old union state, maybe the king of union states, whereas Alabama or Utah don’t have that rep.

And Shelley Capito wasn’t elected to the Senate either. They haven’t had a GOP senator since the 50’s.

 
Pupienus Maximus
 

oh lighten up. At least Tintin had the heart to make it a black and white pic so as not to call attention to Suber’s green teeth.

 
 

Right neighborly of y’all from Georgia to step in, Cid, but there’s still plenty of proud Texans ready to defend our honor as the nation’s most spectacular gusher of primitivist reactionism.

 
 

West Virginians are the stump trained mules of Liberal fascism.

 
 

I’m not fond of making fun of any states as a whole

You must not have met Florida.

 
 

Michelle Bachmann is dumber than a walleye flopping around in the bottom of your canoe but you don’t hear us Minnesotans complianin’. We’re doing something about her.

 
 

I don’t know about the others, but I’m not fond of making fun of any states as a whole. It doesn’t seem to be any different than the Freichtards hating on the entire Eastern seaboard and West Coast. Maybe for liberals, it’s because WV is an old union state, maybe the king of union states, whereas Alabama or Utah don’t have that rep.

That’s my line of thinking too, but I’m not trying to derail the thread or anything. *shrug*

 
 

Everything I post here is of utter necessity.

 
 

Fuck New Jersey.

 
 

TinTin, Akron, Ohio is the capital of West Virginia- and they ALL love them thar hills back home. DonBob just hasn’t been able to get up on the ‘Readin’, Ritin’, ‘n’ Route 21′ that all Wessaginyans larn in skyool. Readin’ ‘n’ Ritin’ are usually pass/fail, with a grade on the curve (more like slope).

So, the judge is a Log Cabin sort of guy? At least, it seems that way, with his history of decisions.

 
 

This thread is sooooo gay.

(Can’t believe no one posted that … although it’s really more of a transgendered person who is bi-curious, but … whatev.)

I don’t know about the others, but I’m not fond of making fun of any states as a whole.

I mock others, but … well, that’s kinda what I do. A lot, usually. But a few thoughts:

1. That’s not to say that some redneck stereotypes are justifiable since … well, a stereotype is a stereotype, no matter to whom it is applied.

B. Being all bent up about a crack about a state is silly. It’s an arbitrary border for the most part, created decades ago when demographics, etc., were a tad different. Areas change.

iii. People are fucked up because they’re fucked up. Granted, some areas have higher concentrations of douchebaggery (Jersey), dumbfuckery (Florida), dipshittery (Missouri, my home state), assholery (Kansas), and sqeallikeapigosity (pretty much West Va., turning east at southern Va., and then heading down the coast all the way through to the Ga.-Fla. border). But location is usually irrelevant given the mobile nature of our nation.

IV. For me, it’s just whether or not someone is an asshole or not, and whatever I can use to mock them, I use. Just like I would expect them to do to me.

Six: I dunno … maybe I don’t have enough pride.

 
 

We can’t turn an aborted fetus gay, so we have to gay-have SOME children.

Oh foolish mortal, we RECRUIT young Christian children.

As a resident of Georgia, everyone is welcome to use our state — excepting Atlanta

I’m from Athens, so BITE ME.

 
Captain Industry
 

So, the judge is a Log Cabin sort of guy? At least, it seems that way, with his history of decisions.

I hope not. The only Log Cabin guy I know, an ex-Opinions Editor for the student paper, wrote horrid, far-right wing, pro-McCain screeds while discussing his fantasies about fucking the SGA president in a cowboy suit. I cannot confirm if assless chaps were involved.

 
 

Mac, I am no expert on international grain trading but Russia stopping wheat exports seems like a big fucking deal to me. Shoulda bought some wheat futures.

 
 

If y’all will permit me to be a pretentious twat for a minute, I think most of our problems arise from the fact that we don’t have to deal with other people as much as we used to. We keep crapping out suburbs because nobody wants to live next to anyone else, we keep wasting energy because everybody wants their own car, etc. Political, too. I know a number of conservatives who I get along fine with provided the topic isn’t politics, and it’s harder to hate someone who you know personally. I think if conservatives and liberals just intermingled more (for the record, I do believe that a greater proportion of the hate and the more vicious hate comes from the right wing. Liberals hating conservatives tends be more dismissive.), a lot of the stupid distortions and caricatures that have ruined our discourse would decreases.

And if you didn’t get the point already, saying “The South sucks, Georgia sucks, West Virginia sucks” doesn’t help that. This has been Spaghetti Lee, Douchebag Philosopher.

 
 

OK, I just had to pop back in to say this: I was born in one of the most backwards states in the nation–South Carolina. Spent my early years there and in one of the most made-fun-of states in the country, Arkansas (a state I unabashedly love, by the by). I’ve lived 95% of my life in the South. Including long stints in Florida (the land of child molesters and serial killers!) I am a Southerner, through and through. Half my family hails from Georgia. Make fun of the fucking South all you want. It doesn’t bother me in the least. As far as I’m concerned, we’ve got it coming. The “fuck the South” rhetoric doesn’t bother me. I don’t take it personally. I don’t find it eliminationist. I don’t find it offensive.

There. Just had to get that off my chest. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go retire on the veranda with some sweet iced tea and fan myself.

 
Alkonholics Anonymous
 

He says derned to durned much

 
 

Trying again because, you know, FYWP.

We can’t turn an aborted fetus gay, so we have to gay-have SOME children.

We recruit young Christian children, duh.

As a resident of Georgia, everyone is welcome to use our state — excepting Atlanta — as a stand-in representative for primitivist reactionism.

I hail from Athens, so BITE ME.

If this eventually shows up twice, you are kindly requested to KEEP BITING ME.

 
 

If y’all will permit me to be a pretentious twat for a minute, I think most of our problems arise from the fact that we don’t have to deal with other people as much as we used to. We keep crapping out suburbs because nobody wants to live next to anyone else, we keep wasting energy because everybody wants their own car, etc.

Except, for the first time in American history, more people live in cities than not.

This, oddly, is also true now worldwide for the first time.

 
 

of course, hating on zombies is still OK.

LIBTARD HIPPOCRITS.

 
 

The judge is not “openly gay”. He is a “practicing homosexual”.

Is he Orthodox, or just Conservative? Does he keep kosher, or will he occasionally sneak a ham sandwich?

Come on Sippy, enquiring minds want to know!

 
 

of course, hating on zombies is still OK.

When one of you can get appointed to the Supreme court…

 
 

You’re issued your very own Pocket Gay

A Popeil product.

 
 

I’m thinking there are hours spent playing giggling games of “Find the Gavel.” Hint: it’s always in someone’s briefs.

Yes, but sadly, it’s the minority opinion.

 
 

Except, for the first time in American history, more people live in cities than not.

I suspect that in America, this is more due to the fact that first and second generation suburbs have grown large enough to qualify as cities, not because of increasing density. They are still as isolationist and alienating as ever.

Also, perhaps because larger urban areas have annexed adjacent suburban areas. Again, not an increase in density or in rubbing up against your fellow citizens.

 
 

When one of you can get appointed to the Supreme court…

HELLO!! JOHN ROBERTS??

 
 

“Tradition alone, however, cannot form a rational basis for a law.” – Hon. Vaughn Walker

But the founding fathers knew everything! That’s why they were such fans of the hallowed traditions of the British monarchy.

 
 

of course, hating on zombies is still OK.

LIBTARD HIPPOCRITS.

I MAKE NO APOLOGIES.

 
 

HELLO!! JOHN ROBERTS??

Do you haved the long-form death certificate?

 
 

Do you haved the long-form undeath certificate?

Fixed!

 
 

mac, aren’t those the deadest eyes you’ve ever seen? They’re like marbles in uncle Fester’s stuffed nutria collection.

 
 

of course, hating on zombies is still OK.

Zombie hatred is the hatred that Just. Won’t. Die. No matter how many times we think we’ve killed it, it keeps rising again, consuming the brains of ever more victims.

 
 

I suspect that in America, this is more due to the fact that first and second generation suburbs have grown large enough to qualify as cities, not because of increasing density. They are still as isolationist and alienating as ever.

Here’s the thing.

The first part of your comment is spot on, to be sure. Towns like (in my area) New Haven Connecticut or White Plains have developed a “downtown” complete with offices and public transportation (this is a separate issue).

But they’ve also drawn large numbers of low income workers in restaurants, hotels, malls, and parking garages. While it’s possible there’s less interaction, it’s certainly more frequent than even ten years ago.

 
 

mac, aren’t those the deadest eyes you’ve ever seen?

You know who ELSE has dead eyes? Edward Cullen, that’s who!

 
 

Edward Cullen, that’s who!

Wasn’t he the host of To Tell The Truth?

 
 

Here’s the thing, actor. while suburbs might be seeing more people moving to them, with very few exceptions they are not changing their development and zoning standards, so they don’t increase density. They just take a few adjacent greenfields and sprawl further.

Usually the developed “downtown” are is based on a suburban model with commercial spaces fronted by parking, office spaces isolated by a donut of parking, and for the most part, hostile to pedestrians and mass transit.

It is actually working AGAINST increasing interpersonal contact, because people have to spend even more time in their cars rather than interacting with other humans. Including the larger numbers of service workers, who usually can’t afford to live in the communities where they work, and since there isn’t usually an increased emphasis on SUPERTRAINS or SUPERBUSES, they have to find some way to commute also…. it is why when new, shiny expanded freeways are built they are nearly instantly filled to capacity and it becomes MORE alienating rather than less.

I am gonna sound like Atrios here, but our built environment has to serve people rather than vehicles, and that is a tough attitude to change.

 
 

You know who ELSE has dead eyes

GARY GILMORE

 
 

ere’s the thing, actor. while suburbs might be seeing more people moving to them, with very few exceptions they are not changing their development and zoning standards, so they don’t increase density.

Not in the Northeast. New Rochelle, Stamford, Greenwich, all have massive office and apartment buildings going up around the rail stations. I realize we’re a bit more advanced, but that’s why you zombies live in Flyoverville…

 
Lurking Canadian
 

Zombie hatred is the hatred that Just. Won’t. Die.

You know, no offense, but if you really want this to change, you could experiment with, you know, not killing people and eating their brains. Just for a while. Try it and see how it feels.

 
 

You know, no offense, but if you really want this to change, you could experiment with, you know, not killing people and eating their brains.

And showering.

 
 

You know, no offense, but if you really want this to change, you could experiment with, you know, not killing people and eating their brains. Just for a while. Try it and see how it feels.

Not until you breathers try not killing people first.

 
 

Not in the Northeast. New Rochelle, Stamford, Greenwich, all have massive office and apartment buildings going up around the rail stations. I realize we’re a bit more advanced, but that’s why you zombies live in Flyoverville…

you know, I was gonna make a snarky comment about how you guys in New York are SO perfect and everything and then had second thoughts, saying to myself “self, you know maybe actor and I can have a discussion here for a change rather than just sniping at each other”. Good to see THAT clarified.

 
 

GARY GILMORE

Gary’s eyes are alive and well, my friend. After all:


Gary don’t need his eyes to see/Gary and his eyes have parted company

 
 

The United States has been more urban than rural for almost a century.

 
 

And showering.

OMG soggy, spongy zombie: DO NOT WANT.

 
 

J— said,

August 6, 2010 at 2:47 (kill)

The United States has been more urban than rural for almost a century.

BUT THEM CITEE PEEPLES IS NOT REEL AMURRIKANS!!

 
Illuminati Repton
 

Ha! You’re all wrong. That judge isn’t gay, he’s not even human. He’s a hermaphroditic Repton shapeshifter. Which, really, would make him perfectly impartial on this sort of thing, if he’d come out of the Repton closet.

 
 

Ha! You’re all wrong. That judge isn’t gay, he’s not even human. He’s a hermaphroditic Repton shapeshifter. Which, really, would make him perfectly impartial on this sort of thing, if he’d come out of the Repton closet.

Also, dude, the preferred nomenclature is not “Repton,” it’s “Reptilian.”

 
Lurking Canadian
 

Also, dude, the preferred nomenclature is not “Repton,” it’s “Reptilian.”

This is exactly the sort of liberal, PC garbage that is destroying our schools!

 
 

Jesus. You people are so naive. He’s a vegisexual…like Bill the Cat.

 
 

This is exactly the sort of liberal, PC garbage that is destroying our schools!

that and the reptilian invaders.

 
 

that and the reptilian invaders.

Man, I went to a private school where the faculty was comprised almost entirely of Reptilian invaders. Best SAT scores in the region, top ranked tennis and lacrosse teams, and we were all sacrificing/devouring Christian babies at like a 12th grade level by the time we were in grade 10. Say what you will about Reptilian invaders, but those dudes really value a good education.

 
 

This is exactly the sort of liberal, PC garbage that is destroying our schools!

that and the reptilian invaders.

Speciesists.

 
Unified Thread Theory
 


zombie rotten mcdonald said,

August 6, 2010 at 2:02

When one of you can get appointed to the Supreme court…

HELLO!! JOHN ROBERTS??

So he’s a zombie robot??? This is why liberalism is doomed to failure: we can’t even get on the same page as far as what kind of human-like state of existence John Roberts is in.

No, we’re good at compromising; we can do this. Remember when Obama said 1+1=2 and the Republicans said 1+1=3 and we decided to compromise and say it was 2.5? Yeah. Good times.

So, zombie robot he is. Built in Manchuria from parts made from ores mined in Transylvania — a castoff of Walt Disney’s secret project to create a race of bisexual transvestite animatronic supermen. Who then got attacked by a zombie, the AI brain being more nutritious than those of economically disadvantaged white people, or school lunches.

 
Unified Thread Theory
 

And also, lizards.

 
 

And showering.
OMG soggy, spongy zombie: DO NOT WANT.

Also not good: Hot tubs.

 
 

The United States has been more urban than rural for almost a century.

You can take the boy out of the outhouse, but you can’t take the outhouse out of the boy.

Mainly because that would really hurt and do a lot of damage on the way out.

 
 

you know, I was gonna make a snarky comment about how you guys in New York are SO perfect and everything and then had second thoughts, saying to myself “self, you know maybe actor and I can have a discussion here for a change rather than just sniping at each other”.

I’ll risk the zombie cooties long enough for this: New York didn’t plan or build smarter than anyone. We simply didn’t destroy what we had. Americans used to have what has been seriously called “the riding habit”: the idea that to go somewhere you took a train, or a trolley, or an interurban trolley. Los Angeles had the second largest trolley system in the country which made it, I believe, the second largest in the world. Newark Fucking New Jersey built a subway for trolleys downtown. In New York we only tore down part of our mass-transit legacy – the Manhattan els – and so we have more than everyone who spent the second half of the 20th century tearing it all down because (a) scary brown people rode trains and (b) right-thinking Merkins must live in the burbs.

 
 

In New York we only tore down part of our mass-transit legacy – the Manhattan els – and so we have more than everyone who spent the second half of the 20th century tearing it all down because (a) scary brown people rode trains and (b) right-thinking Merkins must live in the burbs.

In the South we protected ourselves by having next to no mass transportation infrastructure whatsoever, so we didn’t have any legacy to destroy.

 
 

In the South we protected ourselves by having next to no mass transportation infrastructure whatsoever, so we didn’t have any legacy to destroy.

I’m not an expert on every city, but I know that Richmond had the first electric trolleys in the country. So I’m not so sure that you’re right.

 
 

doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo

ANNOUNCEMENT FROM THE EMERGENCY HOGCAST SYSTEM:

THE MOST IMPORTANT MOVIE TRAILER IN THE KNOWN HISTORY OF THE UNIVERSE IS OUT:

RED DAWN

ALL TEA PARTY PATRIOTS PLEASE REPORT TO YOUR COSPLAY STATIONS FOR FULL OUTFITTING

STOP

doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo

 
 

For those not venturing to visit it’s just a re-release of the original, the most important movie of all times: WOLVERINES!!!!!

 
 

It is actually working AGAINST increasing interpersonal contact, because people have to spend even more time in their cars rather than interacting with other humans.

‘Scuse me while I interject and interrupt with a novella:

—-

You know, I have found that it kinda depends on the neighborhood.

I’m part of the problem (hell, I live in a cul-de-sac in a neighborhood so far out it’s unincorporated county), but everyone actually talks to each other on a regular basis.

Sure, there are a few houses with adults who aren’t all that friendly, but every single house has at least one kid — or one with a grandkid who basically lives there — still in elementary school. We let our kids play at each others’ houses, everyone knows the other kids’ names, and there’s even kickball bases painted on the street.

So it’s kinda cool.

But we also went out of our way to avoid the Lilly white areas (Lee’s Summit, Blue Springs, Overland Park) because we didn’t want that for our son. So we managed to find a place that was really diverse — Hispanic, bi-racial, Af.-Am and, as it turns out, Catholic, Jews, Lutherans, atheists (that’d be us) … it’s a veritable United Nations of Teh Evil Burbs!!! The school district is the same way, and even includes farm kids.

But we kinda lucked into that, finding the right house at just the right time. And we’re dirty fucking hippies who like that kind of thing and looked at a ton of places.

Sadly, most ‘hoods aren’t like that any more, but they are still there, in pockets. You just have to look harder to find them.

(Let’s also remember that cities haven’t traditionally been melting pots, either, with ethnic groups staking claims to certain neighborhoods and keeping themselves isolated. That tendency to group with our own is not one of the better parts of human nature, IMHO. I understand why it’s there — genetic diversity, from long, looooong ago — but that don’t make it right in the 21st century.)

Anyway … YMMV, IMHO, FYWP, ETC

 
 

Mark –

Isn’t the issue that most people don’t make the conscious effort you made? The existence of Michael Pollan doesn’t eliminate the need to get people to stop eating crap.

 
 

In the South we protected ourselves by having next to no mass transportation infrastructure whatsoever, so we didn’t have any legacy to destroy.

I remember them pulling up the streetcar tracks in Athens when I was a kid.

 
 

Oh, and I would gladly trade a bit of the peace and quiet (human noise, at least — the cicadas are so loud as to be deafening this year!!) for not having to be stuck in a car for 2 hours every damn day.

[wishful] Bring on some mixed use and a real public transportation system in KC! [/thinking]

And no, I didn’t work there when we moved here.

Dammit.

 
 

I remember them pulling up the streetcar tracks in Athens when I was a kid.

I remember the A train with rattan seats. Misty water colored memories…

 
 

The existence of Michael Pollan doesn’t eliminate the need to get people to stop eating crap.

No, they don’t. Thus, the one of the worst parts of human nature: the unwillingness of some to be near those Not Like Them.

All I can do at this point is teach my son not to eat crap — real (Pollan) or metaphorical (expecting the Chiefs to win the Super Bowl).

🙂

 
 

I remember them pulling up the streetcar tracks in Athens when I was a kid.

Well, shit, if you want to talk all these fancy places with cities and colleges and whatnot.

I mean real America. Where we were proud of our mud roads until librul agitators in the 1920s started campaigning for all these commonist “good roads”.

 
 

I mean real America. Where we were proud of our mud roads until librul agitators in the 1920s started campaigning for all these commonist “good roads”.

This IS SPARTA!, Georgia.

 
 

Finally: An American hero makes a documentary comparing how Obama is stealing your money to the way Ronald Reagan freed us all up and gave us free money forever.

He’s also the documentarian of a short film about Lucifer.

Join filmmaker Ray Griggs in this documentary film I Want Your Money as he contrasts the two paths the United States can take using the words and actions of Barack Obama and Ronald Reagan. The film uses interviews from well-known public figures, experts, movie clips, dramatic portrayals, music, graphics and even comedic animation to tell the story in the plainest terms of the choice between the Obama and the Reagan views of the role of the federal government in our society. It also examines how these big government programs have been tried in the past at great moral and financial cost to the nation. California is offered as a case-in-point in understanding what economic challenges might face the nation, if we choose the larger government path. Finally, I Want Your Money is a call to action for those who care about the future of the United States.

TEAPARTYRINES!!!!! FREEEEEEEEDUMMMMM!

 
 

He’s also the documentarian of a short film about Lucifer.

To quote Roy Blount (the humorist, not the subject of humorists): Flaming headlong, ALL RIGHT!

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

N__B, above:

Americans used to have what has been seriously called “the riding habit”: the idea that to go somewhere you took a train, or a trolley, or an interurban trolley.

Well, where I used to live, some folks are carrying on the faith, waiting for the Interurban that will never come.

Meanwhile, four blocks over and two blocks up the hill, the dangers of being too dependent on cars is shockingly manifest.

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

Imagine “danger”was singular up there. Sheesh!

 
 

Rev. Battleaxe: Troll Avenue, eh?

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

I can’t believe there’s no picture in that Wiki article on WFTI.

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

N__B:

Fortuitously, right across the street from the Red Hook Brewery.

 
 

COMMIE BEER!

 
 

I’m willing to say that when I was a kid, I loved Red Dawn. Why? I had a serious thing for Ferris Bueller’s bitchy sister. If a Russian invasion meant no parental guidance and hanging out in the woods with Jennifer Grey, then I was all set to put on some sweet camo shorts and yell “Wolverines.”

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

N__B said,
August 6, 2010 at 4:59

COMMIE BEER!

Not true! Fremont took down the statue of Lenin not too long ago.

I lied anyway—I see now that “Troll Avenue” is what they renamed the two-block stretch of Aurora Ave. that goes under the bridge from the Troll down to the Ship Canal. I used to live in the building right kitty-corner across the street from the Troll—actually, the guy was putting it in just as I was moving out. Got to watch him drive that VW in there, take the engine out, and cover it with mud. Real Ort! (To quote Molly Ivins.)

 
 

One would hope that Surber will, in future, always mention the sexuality of judges when he comments upon them so that we can be saved from the hetero hegemony.

 
 

Fremont took down the statue of Lenin not too long ago.

I lied anyway—I see now that “Troll Avenue” is what they renamed the two-block stretch of Aurora Ave. that goes under the bridge from the Troll down to the Ship Canal. I used to live in the building right kitty-corner across the street from the Troll—actually, the guy was putting it in just as I was moving out. Got to watch him drive that VW in there, take the engine out, and cover it with mud. Real Ort! (To quote Molly Ivins.)

You must know about the Fabricators of the Attachment, and the ball and Chain on the Hammering Man? Any clues as to Mia Zapata’s murderer lately?

 
 

Rev. Battleaxe, you commie!! You’re in the People’s Republic of Fremont!

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

@ cAnceR haT:

I could tell you, but then I’d have to put a ball and chain on your leg. Nobody wants that…

 
 

Any clues as to Mia Zapata’s murderer lately?

They solved that, finally. A couple years ago.

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

@ g:

Not any more. I’m stuck in the South End now, but I do miss it. Fortunately, I’m still a commie, because Jim McDermott’s still my Congressman. Gotta love gerrymandering!

Unfortunately, that means I can’t vote against that asswipe Reichert, so it all evens out.

 
 

She was found not too far from where I lived at the time. It was chilling. I knew some of her friends who were in bands.

 
 

You’re in the South End? I lived in the CD. McDermott was my guy, too.

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

Yeah, I moved from Shoreline to the U District to Fremont to Burien, and somehow remained in the 1st district all the time. I’m just special I guess.

And I didn’t mean to be flip about Zapata. That was messed up. I lived a block from where that Polish hit-woman shot the mail-order bride in the U District, though. Does that count?

 
 

I missed that one. I left in’97.

Was there thru Cobain’s death, the Sankai Juku guys falling off the building in Pioneer Square, the Goodwill Games, the Green River killer, a buncha other stuff.

 
 

I got here in 2004. Kinda sorry I missed the old, weird Seattle.

 
 

I was at Cobain’s wake / memorium at the Seattle Center.

Mia Zapata was hanging around a bit with some of the FA guys when they had their place in Ballard. And yes, her demise was a fucked up deal.

I helped work on several of the FA projects, but was gone for the one that the police became more involved in. Is Seattle no longer weird? Bummer!

I notice they shut down the Globe Cafe….

 
 

You were around for the Pain in the Grass concerts?

 
 

g said,

August 6, 2010 at 6:02

See here:

They caught the guy.

I guess it’s rude to hope some other incarceree might off the guy before 36 years are up. I hadn’t heard they had him, much less convicted him.

 
 

“You were around for the Pain in the Grass concerts?”

Maybe, but would have been a Seattle noob. Never heard of P I T G. Some stuff at Gasworks Park I remember, and the FA had some big things with bands in their Ballard warehouse. Only band there I remember the name of was “Get it Girl” with saxaphones.

 
 

I was in Seattle for a week in 2003 which entitles me to sneer at Angry Geometer as a newcomer.

 
Phlebas, the Phonecian
 

You and me both, Seattle. You and me both. All sitting around at the smoothie joint in the hipster ghetto part of town. All boring pink haired Asian chicks with stories about how cool we used to be. I feel ya, buddy. I feel ya. Peace out.

 
 

I first went to Seattle in March of ’94 just a couple weeks before Cobain did himself. I quickly became part of “some of the weird old Seattle.” Had plenty of time on my hands and spent lots of days in the warehouse or fetching steel scraps in the now infamous old battered Dodge Pickup. Used return from the scrapyard with so many sheets of 4×4 scraps weighing in the back that the truck would barely steer. Missed out on the Westlake Park stuff, luckily, but I did work on the 13′ tall anatomicly correct heart. I think the ‘anatomicly correct’ was my suggestion, in fact, as the patrons were expecting a valentine.

It kind of sucks to find out Jason died so young in such a weird trainwreck circumstance.

 
 

Funny. I’ve lived in Seattle longer but been involved in much less weirdness, having just (at the time) committed myself to raising kids. I remember many of the events you guys are referring to but knew none of the actors. It was all just items in the news to me.

Misty water colored memories…

Fuck you, N__B, fuck you right in the ear. Bastart.

Also not good: Hot tubs.

Zombie stew! Somebody throw in a carrot!

 
 

I’m totally saving myself for Dr. Pezzi, bitches.

Whaaaat?

Oh. Never mind.

 
 

Also not good: Hot tubs.
Zombie stew! Somebody throw in a carrot!

But should you persist against my reasoning,
Don’t fail to add the appropriate seasoning.

 
 

Fuck you, N__B, fuck you right in the ear. Bastart.

Unlike some people I could name, I didn’t inflict youtube on you.

 
 

I didn’t inflict youtube on you.
It was either that or the Hot Butter version of “Popcorn”. I reckon you got off lightly.

 
 

It was either that or the Hot Butter version of “Popcorn”.

The phrase you are looking for, which must be whined while wearing a wife-beater, is “See what you made me do?”

 
 

The fact is, a gay judge needs to be reexcused from trials and gay, just like you liberals want a judge who worked for BP to be about oil? Oh, this is how bias works.

 
 

I hail from Athens, so BITE ME.

I’m from [WHATEVER EXCEPTIONAL LOCATION X] so bite me, it’s all these other parts of the South from which I’m not which suck!

 
 

El Cid – you’re missing a from. Which is better than having a Frum.

 
 

N_B — did you notice the “from which I’m not”, the valiant effort to not end on a preposition?

 
 

N_B — did you notice the “from which I’m not”, the valiant effort to not end on a preposition?

Two whiches demand two froms for symmetry and overall aesthetics. Ask any zombie.

 
 

Happy National Beer (and National Root Beer Float) Day, ‘Naughts!

What did I miss?

 
 

Two whiches demand two froms for symmetry and overall aesthetics. Ask any zombie.

Whiches are subordinate to parts, because without parts they can’t make their bubbling cauldrons.

 
 

Hot Butter version of “Popcorn”.

Pervert.

And now I can’t get that stupid “di di di didididoo, di di di didididoo, di di dididi dididi di di di doop” out of my ear…

 
 

Also not good: Hot tubs.
Zombie stew! Somebody throw in a carrot!

Um, cauliflower looks more like brains, especially when boiled. You have to be sly when getting zombies to eat their vegetables.

 
Ted the Slacker
 

Seriously Faptastic Serious Argument from Serious Legal Expert the very Serious Andy McCarthy:

Hello? We can’t fight brown-people terrorists not labelled terrorists.

Ps. If you do go for mangoes, be sure to take note of ASW’s newly patented random-capitalization-of-prepositions-conjunctions-auxiliary-verbs-And-definite-articles machine.

 
 

Whiches are subordinate to parts, because without parts they can’t make their bubbling cauldrons.

Wait. Are these charmed whiches or beautiful whiches?

 
 

Yet, though we have been at this for nearly nine years now, though Americans have been told we need to continue the fight in Afghanistan because the Taliban must be defeated, though the Pakistani Taliban is closely linked to the Afghan Taliban, and though the Pakistani Taliban is plainly plotting to attack our homeland, Congress has never amended the Authorization for the Use of Military Force (AUMF) enacted after 9/11. The AUMF does not expressly name either Taliban organization, much less both of them, as enemies.

Shorter Andy “Chimp” McCarthy

Can we start blaming Obama for Bush’s mistakes yet?

 
 

http://www.nydailynews.com/ny_local/2010/08/06/2010-08-06_60_in_poll_oppose_mosque.html

60% of New Yorkers think the mosque is a bad idea. But over half say it would promote tolerance.

That actually makes perfect sense.

 
 

The AUMF does not expressly name either Taliban organization, much less both of them, as enemies.

We don’t want to actually define our enemies, do we? That way next time our drones or AC-130s hit a wedding ceremony, we can claim they were “insurgents” (again).

 
Ted the Slacker
 

Actor, need a favor… just to check my eyes aren’t deceiving me, what do you see as the new Corner picture?

 
 

60% of New Yorkers think the mosque is a bad idea. But over half say it would promote tolerance.

I suspect Staten Island skews the anti-mosque sentiment.

 
 

Actor, need a favor… just to check my eyes aren’t deceiving me, what do you see as the new Corner picture?

We shall never speak of it again. Am I right?

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

That way next time our drones or AC-130s hit a wedding ceremony, we can claim they were “insurgents” (again).

Esp. if it’s a gay wedding.

 
 

Esp. if it’s a gay wedding

Of course, if that Corner photo is not a hack, it seems clear that we might try hitting Andy McCarthy with an AC-130 shortly.

 
 

I suspect Staten Island skews the anti-mosque sentiment.

Is Staten Island superconservative?

 
Ted the Slacker
 

Of course, if that Corner photo is not a hack

I don’t think it is a hack… you have to wonder if Tintin has finally infiltrated ASW.

 
 

Bombay — now “Mumbai” —

Andy McCarthy– now “fukcing idiot”–

 
 

Ask any zombie.

Sorry. It’s my day off. See if you can find somebody from Seattle to help you.

Mark- I don’t think the issue is getting to know and like your neighbors; the thing about suburbs is that due to the commutes and the uniformity of housing and development, the citizens are usually pretty similar.

An urban area, as you note, requires the folks living there to become comfortable with people who are markedly dissimilar; it seems to me this fosters, hell pretty much requires, tolerance and appreciation of diversity.

as someone upthread pointed out, there are plenty who resist becoming more tolerant and react by moving to more uniform ‘safe’ surroundings.

Suburbs can be quite pleasant places, except for that commute. Like Atrios, I don’t think anybody needs to be forced to live anywhere they don’t want to; but I feel quite strongly that America needs to stop subsidizing greenfield development and sprawl, and integrate development standards that spur infill and higher density developments.

Portland did this quite well with their transit-oriented development. As N__B points out, most of the cities decided in the post-war era to pull out the transit infrastructure, and then destroyed existing, livable and thriving neighborhoods by driving freeways through them, also vivisecting cities in the name of moving traffic.

Hey!! What am I doing on this soapbox?

 
 

Is Staten Island superconservative?

When Guiliani ran for re-election in 1997, he had a meaningless Staten Island secession initiative put on the ballot to increase voter participation for himself.

 
 

Is Staten Island superconservative?

It’s practically fucking Arizona

 
 

Bad news. Col. V and I are getting divorced. The gays did it. I don’t know how, but somehow it’s their fault. Gays ruin EVERYTHING.

 
 

ZRM,

I meant to post this last night but I was camming a chick on BigBoobs.com was called away from Sadly, No.

http://www.endofsuburbia.com/

 
 

Bad news. Col. V and I are getting divorced.

This is bad news for us…how?

BowChickaWowWow!

 
 

When Guiliani ran for re-election in 1997, he had a meaningless Staten Island secession initiative put on the ballot to increase voter participation for himself.

From which ‘geo-political’ (probably not the right word there, but I couldn’t figure out what the right word was) entity did they hope to secede? New York City? New York State? the U.S.? North America?

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

Bad news. Col. V and I are getting divorced. The gays did it. I don’t know how, but somehow it’s their fault. Gays ruin EVERYTHING.

I think you should at least wait for the Supreme[s] Court to rule.

 
 

It’s practically fucking Arizona

WOW. And they say teabaggers aren’t racist.

I do recall from that poll I posted the other day that Staten Island was indeed the borough with the most opposition (over 70%) to the mosque.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Hm, do I want to read all the comments I missed? Naaaaah.

Although this: “Is Staten Island superconservative?” made even me LOL. Sorry, Chris.

 
 

I think you should at least wait for the Supreme[s] Court to rule.

Just the idea that gays should have equal rights is too upsetting to us. Can’t wait.

 
 

Although this: “Is Staten Island superconservative?” made even me LOL. Sorry, Chris.

No worries. NY geography isn’t one of my strong points, any more than their baseball team.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

actor, re: End of Suburbia–Have you read The Long Emergency? I was about halfway through it and I had to put it down because I was having nightmares. Fucking peak oilers.

 
 

Just the idea that gays should have equal rights is too upsetting to us.

Can I have his phone number? I feel now that gay marriage is legal, I should probably try my luck with a husband.

 
 

Have you read The Long Emergency?

No.

It sounds like something Dr Pezzi would fantasize about.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

It sounds like something Dr Pezzi would fantasize about.

Given that people will probably be forced to trade sex for food and gas, you’re probably right.

 
 

Given that people will probably be forced to trade sex for food and gas, you’re probably right.

*making note* (buy…gas…station….)

I probably should go read that.

 
 

Can I have his phone number? I feel now that gay marriage is legal, I should probably try my luck with a husband.

Dude. You don’t have a choice. And I think both of you have Sodomy Class at 8 A.M. tomorrow morning.

 
 

And I think both of you have Sodomy Class at 8 A.M. tomorrow morning.

Dammit. And I got the “catcher” list of materials.

 
 

Take good care of him, actor. He’s a great guy.

 
 

Take good care of him, actor. He’s a great guy.

We could share custody, you know.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

HAWT.

 
 

Suburbs can be quite pleasant places, except for that commute. Like Atrios, I don’t think anybody needs to be forced to live anywhere they don’t want to; but I feel quite strongly that America needs to stop subsidizing greenfield development and sprawl, and integrate development standards that spur infill and higher density developments.

–zrm

Couldn’t agree more.

**polite applause**

And I’m not just typing that so you don’t eat my branes … besides, it’d only be, like, an appetizer, so not even worth the effort.

I promise.

 
 

I understand Staten Island isn’t entirely xenophobic yahoos.

 
 

I understand Staten Island isn’t entirely xenophobic yahoos.

Pity that’s in Queens…

 
 

California is offered as a case-in-point in understanding what economic challenges might face the nation, if we choose the larger government path.

So California is offered as the worst case scenario/object lesson in a documentary about how AWESOME Reagan was? Um, cool.

I’m from [WHATEVER EXCEPTIONAL LOCATION X] so bite me, it’s all these other parts of the South from which I’m not which suck!

You started it, Mr But Not Atlanta, so NEENER.

 
 

Pity that’s in Queens…

Fuck you and your obsession with accuracy.

It was a funnier joke in my head anyway.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Ha! I am starting to feel better about my geographic knowledge…

 
 

Fuck you and your obsession with accuracy.

Well, you know, we New Yorkers are very particular about our boroughs…

 
 

Couldn’t agree more.

**polite applause**

it’s traditional is to offer me a drink.

T&U, I am with you on The Long Emergency. True horror is the worst.

 
 

it’s traditional is to offer me a drink.

Martin-ee?

Let me go get Martin.

 
 

it’s traditional is to offer me a drink.

Sorry — haven’t had a drink in 2.5 years, so not used to it any more.

Um … so … bloody Mary?

(She’s totes fresh. Swear.)

 
 

I remember many of the events you guys are referring to but knew none of the actors. It was all just items in the news to me.

The heart that was in the truck was actually commissioned by Job Corps, and was on the way to the 25th anniversary of Job Corps in DC via a dozen or more Job Corps offices where some of the kids were going to sign it. It was kinda cool, would have been a good sculpture for med school or a heart institute or something like that. I did paint, and had an overhead projector to mask off a ‘job corps’ logo just right on the front like the contract said. As it was, the add- on signatures from the west coast looked like gang tags, and somewhere along about Utah, a Job Corp tight ass demanded a re-paint and vetoed the project when Jason said he would let it stand as is.

Here’s a better take on the West Lake thing, more the realm of politics of opening up the street in front of Nordstroms, and a candidate for head asshole-in-chief flexing his muscles against a crew of artists making a statement about a corporation’s coveting of a downtown park space.

 
 

Re Mr. Surber’s ever receiving the Pulitzer Prize:

Be careful. They gave a Pulitzer Prize to Kathleen Parker despite the kind of drivel she writes (remember her silly piece about “Canteyville”?). So Don Bob might actually have a shot.

Yup, standards really appear to have dropped on that Pulitzer committee…

 
 

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