I resemble that remark.

Shouldn’t that be “douché”?

Not clicking the link, not clicking the link, not clicking the link, not clicking the link…

I couldn’t be bothered to look but I do wonder what the proximity of Bozell’s little bit of tut-tutting is to some other post going on and on about how Teh Libruls are prudish uber-PC language cops. I’m guessing its not that far.

Hey Brent, how’s this for over the line: eat a dick and wash it down with the ballsweat.

But…don’t the douchebaggers have public parties & rallies & bags hanging from their hats & all that? Don’t they even have their own network on the tay-vay?

I must be missing something, because I’ve never heard this used on network tv. OTOH, the only “reality” programming I’ve ever seen is the cooking shows.

(Searching the internets furiously…)

I see, it’s Family Guy, which I have to watch with the sound off lest my two-year-old start talking like Stewie.

And cable shows like Rescue Me and The Osbournes. Not network TV, folks. And the search only comes up with like 12 shows, not 30 or whatever they’re claiming.

I’m still responding to their (phone) robo-polls with “no, I don’t want more family-friendly programming”. Heh.

Colored Massengil on a maxi-pad.

I will trust the Shorter. Otherwise I might actually read Bozo-Zell and have to pluck my own eyes out.

Brent Bozell courageously refuses to retreat from the rising tide of douche.

Fermez la bouche, louche douche.

Anyone else want to both contestants lose in a cage match between boozelle and the catholic league’s bill donohue?

trust the shorter trust the shorter trust the shorter

Words for Potent Jerks

Jeez, what’s veiled about that?

Counterptoint: Cunt.

Cunt defines the zeitgeist. Cunt sits on a radioactive orange couch while Luna plays in the background and the zeitgeist licks Cunt’s boots. What I am saying is that “Cunt” fucking owns this zeitgeist.

Ex:

Bozell is a cunt.

Chris Buckley is still a cunt.

PJ O’Rourke used to be a funny cunt but now he’s just a garden variety cunty cunt cunt.

Cunt is doing blow and cutting deals at back booths in the Polo Lounge. When Cunt says “Jump”, Jamie Dimon says “How high, Cunt?”

Cunt. Cunt owns the zeitgeist.

Since when did phrases like “low hanging fruit” and words like “douche” come out of nowhere? The first time I heard the latter word on TV was on Dark Angel, ten years ago.

The fact is, foul invective like this is why liberals are bad people and also should not be taken seriously by serious people, because all they have is hate.

The first time I heard “low hanging fruit” was in conjunction with Dark Angel fangirls. As in “Man, if you ever see a chick who is way into Dark Angel, you just know she’s gonna be a piece of juicy, low hanging fruit with self-esteem issues and a need to get back at their dad that anybody can just pluck right off the vine.”

because all they have is hate.

Not true! I also have this paddle ball game…and this chair…

My review (posted in the other thread) totally didn’t show up at Amazon.com, even though I gave The First Assassin 5 stars. What the cunt, man, what the cunting cunt? Bleedin’ Nazis over at Amazon.

And that’s all I need!

Stephen-

Don’t know about “low hanging fruit” and not sure about the origins of douche, but I know it was popularized interestingly enough by feminists and feminist-friendly types who wanted a word for “woman-hating woman-harming asshole” that was not sex-negative like most common swear words.

Douche and douchebag began to fill the slot nicely as its literal description is one of a septic bag filled with acidic harmful chemicals that did harm to women’s vaginas.

Which finally was a perfect descriptor for both those whose politics were anti-woman, but also those who through their behavior demonstrated that they were more likely than not to be, let’s euphemistically put it as, likely harmful to a woman if allowed near her cunt.

Douchebag for all your woman-hating asshole needs.

The fact is, daddy teached me the word invective because I swallowed like a good boy.

I was listening to French classical radio a while ago, and somehow the topic of George W. Bush came up in an interview. The interviewee declared that GWB was a “cunt of incredible cuntishness.” My new favorite French phrase. Hard to imagine on classical radio stations here.

Cobag is another useful word.
~

eat a dick and wash it down with the ballsweat.

All a part of this balanced breakfast.

One even implied the Times should hire its own staff to watch the five broadcast networks for nine months at a time to avoid any association with annoying pressure groups who scandalously fail to love all the vulgar words.

On the contraire, methinks they love those words so much, they plop their lardy mclardies in front of the idiot box 24/7 just to catch a glimpse, any glimpse of it. they would faint if the word Palin-esquely winked at them.

they are Vulgar Word Groupies.

Bozell, furiously fanning himself while rising on one elbow from the fainting couch: “Young people these days! Back in William F. Buckley’s day, they had wonderfully descriptive words like knave, varlet, n’er-do-well, puttock, miscreant, ratsbane, ruppert…gracious me, but I find myself growing fatigued! Should you require further help, hie yourself to Google and enter Ye Olde Official Shakespearean Insult Kit for a comprehensive list of Newsbuster approved insults.

Pedantic word-history note: “Cunt” is a venerable old English word, documented in use at least as far back as Chaucer. It is related to the word “quaint”, and yes, the double-entendre is that old too:

Thy beauty shall no more be found,
Nor, in thy marble vault, shall sound
My echoing song; then worms shall try
That long preserv’d virginity,
And your quaint honour turn to dust,
And into ashes all my lust.
The grave’s a fine and private place,
But none I think do there embrace.

–Andrew Marvel–To His Coy Mistress

Back in William F. Buckley’s day, they had wonderfully descriptive words like knave, varlet, n’er-do-well, puttock, miscreant, ratsbane, ruppert…

Codswallop! Manikin! Younker! Pumpion! Fustilarian! Gudgeon! PUSILLANIMOUS PULTROON!

‘Pissant little bigot’ are the words that come to mind when talking of Bozell.

No naughty words in there so how you going to avoid defending actual behavior now?

I see, claim I’m the bigot for calling you on your behavior.

The primary reason Republicans get called so many dirty vile names is because punching the pissant little bigots is a felony.

“Scare a douche, scare a douche – can you do the van-tango?” [musical-note dingbats would go here if WordPress wasn’t such a gormless kludge]

Well, in matters of douchology, you gotta go with the expert – & very few indeed can ever hope to match Bozell’s sterling track-record of douchtastic douchery.

If you ask me, everyone these days is just surfing the douche-tsunami that was set in motion via the steadfast use of this delectable vernacular morsel by that majestic “Robot Chicken” series several years back.

Douche is dead – long live teh douche!

It’s pate\heticaly apparent how many people are trying to be the next William Safire and what a weak effort they put forth. Safire would have lured you in with several interesting facts that couldn’t have been found in a hurried Lexis/Nexis search and once you were hooked, would have said only one, maybe two disagreeable things.Bozell clearly feels no need, or more likely is unable to actually bring something worthy of interest to the discussion before he disgorges his unpleasant opinion on his reader.

Codswallop! Manikin! Younker! Pumpion! Fustilarian! Gudgeon! PUSILLANIMOUS PULTROON!

Victorian Tourette’s.

What’s a gentleman like Bozo doing watching “Family Guy”? And if he does watch it on a regular basis, how can he be shocked at anything?

Back in the 70s, when I was a wee slip of a junior high lass, douche was the insult du jour. This just reinforces my long-held belief that folks like Brent were so unpopular as kids they didn’t even know they were being called douches. I feel sort of sorry for them. Not very, but sorta.

“Gudgeon!”

Hey, leave my sailboat out of it!

Wait till Bozell discovers the word “co-bag”.

Bozell is a fetid, purulent sore, oozing corruption and putrescence. Also: an asshole.

Bozel uses the word “douche” in the body of his column! I am shocked I say. I thought Newsbusters was a family blog. What if a child were to read it or ‘gasp’, Peggy Noonan. What a cunt.

http://www.douchebagnamegenerator.com/
Interestingly, my douchebag name is Brent Bozel.

Shouldn’t that be “douché”?

Perhaps.

Also, cuz nobody has, and ze fruit she hang so low…

Bozell. What a douche.

Alsoalso, a friend just mentioned to me yesterday that Craig Ferguson used the word douche on his show. This was cause for amusement rather than pantytwisting.

The word “douche” comes from the French language, in which its principal meaning is a shower

Like Candy, I remember “douchebag” coming up as an insult in the ’70s and early ’80s. There was a “guys walk into a bar” joke that had as a premise one of them ordering a “vinegar and water.” Now if “spaz” or “dexter” comes back, it’ll be like middle school all over again.

“Blinded by the light! Wracked up like a douche in the middle of the night!”

I remember snickering in grammar school, “heh, he said douche”

“Blinded by the Light” was the first song on, and first single from, Bruce Springsteen’s 1973 debut album Greetings from Asbury Park N.J. Springsteen’s version was initially unsuccessful, and failed to appear on the music charts.

Manfred Mann’s Earth Band released a version of the song on their album The Roaring Silence. The song reached #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 on 19 February 1977 and #1 on the Canadian RPM chart the same day. The Manfred Mann’s Earth Band recording of “Blinded by the Light” is Springsteen’s only Number 1 single as a songwriter on the Hot 100.

The song is notable for lead vocalist Chris Thompson’s garbled enunciation, especially of the phrase “revved up like a deuce” which has led many fans to interpret it as “wrapped up like a douche”. The original Springsteen lyric is neither of the above, instead being “cut loose like a deuce”.[1] Springsteen once attributed the popularity of the Manfred Mann version partially to Thompson’s enunciation.[2]

I saw this rant somewhere else earlier this week. So what? Hey you free marketer, libertarian, make my own decisions, use my own mind freedom lover!

Shut the fucking tube off! Isn’t that what us offended libruals are told ad infitum when we have to sit through hours and hours of violence, booby shots, mindless women as just vagina portrayals and jivin’ black folks, greasy latinos and mafioso italians?

And that’s just on the reality shows. Never mind the sitcom crap. Who watches that shit anyways?

Anyway, isn’t little Johnnie asking about what “douche” means a good time possibly to segue into how the reproductive organs function and a fine chance to segue Little Susie not only into that but also the nature of our patriarchy, that women still practice procedures that are unhealthy and potentially damaging to their bodies because our Puritan Patriarchy has the womyns folks thinking they all icky and dirty and need their plumbing cleaned out.

But that’s a lot of thinking, I know.

“Blinded by the light! Wracked up like a douche in the middle of the night!”

Great, there goes my last screen wipe.

He even cribbed his column from the evil liberal NYT. What a douche.

LOS ANGELES — On many nights this fall, it has been possible to tune in to broadcast network television during prime time and hear a character call someone else a “douche.”

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/11/14/business/media/14vulgar.html?_r=2&sq=douche&st=cse&adxnnl=1&scp=1&adxnnlx=1258830116-Hp8k7qejNZERu6/2osX7kA

On many nights this fall, it has been possible to tune in to Sadly, No!during prime time and learn a wingnut character is a “douche.”

We’re working in the office right now on supporting a large terra cotta cartouche that’s part of a parapet. I find it nearly impossible to say “cartouche” without giving it the “you douche” pronunciation from 7th grade, 20+ years ago.

For anyone wondering about The Glory Hole. (Totes SFW)

I’m relieved to know that I didn’t just make it up in a stoned/drunk local news-viewing haze.

I’m relieved to know that I didn’t just make it up in a stoned/drunk local news-viewing haze.

The fact that “viewing” is the operative word rather than “making” explains why you’re here.

The fact that “viewing” is the operative word rather than “making” explains why you’re here.

Yeah, uh, I don’t really leave the house unless I have to. Especially now that all our friends have moved away and we have Guitar Hero.

T&U, the Glory Hole Resturaunt (Wha?) I am going to open a French resturaunt called Le Douche Femme. Is this a good idea? Any thoughts?

So, 6 years after Jon Stewart famously dubbed Bob Novak a “douchebag…for LIBERTY”, Bozell’s just now getting upset about use of the word on tv? Figures.

I remember back 15 or so years ago, on a network owned by the same gentleman who owns the news network that Bozell et al are so insistent is the only “fair” and “balanced” source for conservatives…on this other network there was this show called “Beverly Hills 90210”, a show targeted at pre-pubescent girls, as evidenced by the fact that there were a whole line of “90210” dolls. And on this show, shown on this network owned by the esteemed gentelman who is the upholder and defender of all that is sanctified by conservatives, they aired an episode in which one of the characters, whose parents were out of town, allowed a porno film to be shot at the family home. Also. In this show, the female porno “actresses” were all depicted as being just thrilled with their jobs, light-hearted about showing and doing it all for the cameras. On a show aimed at 12-year-old and younger girls.

But by all means, hearing the word “douche” is certain to be much more harmful to the normal emotional and psychological development of our young people. Or, seeing Janet Jackson’s nipple. Also.

We need more: A restaurant on Wall Street called the Golden Shower.

A shellfish restaurant in Ohio called the Cleveland Steamer.

In Japan, a whale-meat restaurant called Killer Blue Sperm.

I am going to open a French resturaunt called Le Douche Femme. Is this a good idea? Any thoughts?

The house dressing should be a vinaigrette.

Bozell has been writing the same stupid column since about 1985. He has explored every single aspect of how to be a douche in print. Now he has resorted to writing directly about being a douche. Cut him some slack people. Can’t you see why the “douche” epitaph would effect him so personally?

He has explored every single aspect of how to be a douche in print. Now he has resorted to writing directly about being a douche.

Is that metadocuhe?

The house dressing should be a vinaigrette.

Vinager and water?

Is that metadocuhe?

Yes.

A Mexican restaurant named The Dirty Sanchez?

Is that metadouche?

Yes.

So our discussion would be metametadouche. Now we need Bozell to respond…

I had the house special last night at a local joint called “the 67 Burger,” named for its address at 67 Lafayette Ave. Every time I order one, I wonder if this is the time I slip verbally and get banned.

I once metadocuhe but it wasn’t all that pleasant.

So our discussion would be metametadouche. Now we need Bozell to respond…

Cut loose like a douche another runner in the night.

Hello. Is this mike on?

I never metadouche I didn’t like.

Will Douchers

I’m an unhip old fart, so bear with me…I’m trying to remember what Dark Angel was and I’m drawing a blank. What was the one with Jennifer Alba scampering across the top of the Space Needle in the commercial? Was that it?

What was the one with Jennifer Alba scampering across the top of the Space Needle in the commercial? Was that it?.

Yes. James Cameron unleashing Alba on an unsuspecting world.

Yes, but Jessica Alba, my one true love. She was a genetically engineered superwoman. Still is.

‘Nough said.
http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.fanstarbaseball.com/baseball/grandslamfan/images/sexy-jessica-alba.jpg&imgrefurl=http://famouspeople-rules.blogspot.com/2008/10/jessica-alba.html&h=1081&w=640&sz=31&tbnid=jQP4I2qEYvl8XM:&tbnh=150&tbnw=89&prev=/images%3Fq%3Djessica%2Balba%2Bpics&hl=en&usg=__tDvZKmbzkrFQ82Llo55ovq2oEbk=&ei=jVUIS46OIsu2lAes3YSFBA&sa=X&oi=image_result&resnum=6&ct=image&ved=0CBUQ9QEwBQ

22:44 Compare and contrast.

‘Nough said.
http://www.toplessrobot.com/jessica-alba-5.jpg

I think that 22:54 puts the matter to rest N__B don’t you think.

Thanks, guys. I remember when I caught that commercial out of the corner of my eye the first few times. I thought at first that A: it was animated, and 2: that it was Janeane Garofalo. My head would turn around, and I’d say to myself: “Self: What the Hell am I looking at? Janeane Garofalo scampering across the outside top of the Space Needle in a catsuit? I’ve got to lay off the sauce!”

I’m not denying her physical attractiveness. I’m denying acting ability and, possibly, sentience.

Yes, I would rather sleep with Lawrence Olivia N__B, I stand corrected.

But but, she is a genitically modified superwoman. Don’t you get that?

I could litter the thread with links to actresses who are both talented and good-looking, but I’ll leave it as a question of taste.

gocart mozart said,

November 21, 2009 at 22:54

‘Nough said.
http://www.toplessrobot.com/jessica-alba-5.jpg

That is a nice pic—but I just can’t get used to her as a blonde.

And she believes in more than just opposite marriage.

And the word “blonde” is not in Firefox’s spell-checker. WTF?

I’m not denying her physical attractiveness. I’m denying acting ability and, possibly, sentience.

Two Fantastic Four movies make N_B’s case.

All I remember about that show was somebody asking them: “This is just a TV adaptation of Friday, right? Why isn’t that in the credits?” And they affected to be completely surprised.

So, the carpet doesn’t match the drapes. Good for variety. What about Halle Berry N__B, my other one true love? Monster’s Ball anybody?

Two Fantastic Four movies make N_B’s case.

They made a second one!?

Berry has some talent and I’ve heard her speak off the cuff intelligibly (and yes, that is the word I mean to contrast her with Alba). You’ll get no argument from me there. She has lousy taste in choosing roles and (apparently) men, but neither is my concern.

I am not saying she is a good actress but she did carry the “Dark Angel” show. The writers fucked that one up.

They made a second one!?

The first didn’t suck hard enough.

I’m not denying her physical attractiveness. I’m denying acting ability and, possibly, sentience.

Homegirl is hot (have you guys seen Idle Hands [underwear scene ZOMG]?), but she seriously has, like, two brain cells to rub together.

I’ll take Kate Winslet instead, thankyouverymuch.

Halle Berry in “Catwoman”. It takes a great deal of -skill to make a movie about Halle Berry in a catsuit unwatchable.

But but, she is a genitically modified superwoman.

I hope she has superhuman strength, goes weeks without having to rest, and can kick butt like it was going out of style, ’cause she sure as shit wasn’t genetically modified to act. Goddamn.

T&U, she has way more than two brain cells thank you very much. Five even maybe.

“cause she sure as shit wasn’t genetically modified to act.”

Acting is not genetic silly goose.

T&U, she has way more than two brain cells thank you very much. Five even maybe.</i.

Can't disagree re: Halle Berry, though. Anyone who does is a communist.

T&U, she has way more than two brain cells thank you very much. Five even maybe.

Okay, we’ll meet in the middle. Three and a half. I’m not judging–I love Gerard Butler, after all. However, if we’re going to go with “hot but marginal actresses from failed Fox action shows,” I’d have to go with Eliza Dushku.

Yezzz, they made a second FF flick (“Rise of the Silver Surfer”) which I recently purchased for US$5.00 at K-Mart. Ms. Alba not absolutely the worst part of it.

More inspired by the hideous animated tee vee serieses of the ’90s than the “books.”

Acting is not genetic silly goose

I think genes are as good an explanation as any. It’s like religion: There’s no rational explanation, it must be a genetic defect.

“I’d have to go with Eliza Dushku.”

Nah, T&U nah.

I did not expect to have to defend my wild unsupported assertion. Kudos M. Bouffant.

I’m trying to remember what Dark Angel was and I’m drawing a blank. What was the one with Jennifer Alba scampering across the top of the Space Needle in the commercial?
The only Dark Angel was the 1990 film a.k.a “I Come in Peace”. Anything else is unpossible.

I am going to open a French resturaunt called Le Douche Femme. Is this a good idea?
For when you want to eat out.

Props for eye-candy with both brains and a healthy liberal outlook:

Natalie Portman

mmm… Natalie…

Homegirl is hot (have you guys seen Idle Hands [underwear scene ZOMG]?)

Yes,yes I have.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1F3rOwKS-Oo

Notice the allusion to Bettie Davis with the scream. Brilliant.

Since we’re talking about catsuits, Mrs. __B and I have been watching the Avengers. Honor Blackman and Diana Rigg damned near sponsored puberty for me.

Depends on whether Ms Portman is acting opposite Hayden Christensen or Hugo Weaving.

Natalie Portman is great and she can rap.

Also, Hayden Christensen has no idea what a true Dark Lord of the Sith is capable of. Also.

Idle Hands

How did I miss this masterpiece?

So is this now the hot actress for thread or what? Because get me a time machine set for Hedy Lamarr. Also: smart.

Feel free to bring in the hot men/felines/other of your choosing.

Hedy Lamarr? She is like 70 or something. You grave robber you.
Raquel Welch is still hot also.

Raquel Welch has at least six brain cells. Just saying.

I did say I’d need a time machine. Man, Conrad Veidt as Cesare. Feline, the lion king of the Island of Misfit Toys.

Fair enough. But the young Hedy Lamarr vs. young Raquel Welch? To each his own I suppose.

If I had a time machine, I would totally fuck Cleopatra. Just saying.

a French resturaunt called Le Douche Femme.

That would be an indelicatessan, right?
To tell the truth, we don’t go out for dinner much. The Frau Doktorin is flattered when I lick the plate clean and this turns out to be a breach of etiquette when done in public.

Boudicca of the Iceni. Always had a weakness for Brits.

My wife
Jessica Alba
Halle Berry
Raquel Welch
Cameron Diaz

I think that that this thread went off the rails when it stopped talking about Jessica Alba’s tits.

On the question of Jessica Alba’s tits, for the record. I am for them.

I lack sufficient experience and request further information.

If I had a time machine, I would totally fuck Cleopatra. Just saying.

It’s nice that some people still appreciate inner beauty.

Indeed, we need photographic and video evidence. Maybe have the witnesses appear to give a statement.

I did not expect to have to defend my wild unsupported assertion

Only against my wild unsupported assertion.

Smut Clyde, would you like to subscribe to my newsletter?

My resonse to your wildly unsupported assertion to my wildly unsupported assertion was wildly irressponsible and unsupported. My apologies.

Not-Hedly Lamarr in “Ecstasy”.

NSFW if you work at some fucking church or something. Why are you working on Sat., anyway, loser?

That “different dynamic” is the assumption that families don’t watch television together, and that if anyone under 12 is watching sleazy shows at 8 pm, it’s the fault of careless parents, not the blameless vulgarity distributors.

Well hell, if you expect parents, as opposed to public schools, to teach their children all about sex, then maybe you should hold them accountable for their children’s viewing habits as well?

Hello? Anybody there?

Hedly Lamarr in “Ecstasy”. Fine But . . .
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fo0C9FNRRSQ&feature=player_embedded#
I rest my case.

Hey gocart mozart,

I am not saying she is a good actress but she did carry the “Dark Angel” show. The writers fucked that one up.

Tune in for Max, but stay for Original Cindy.

Is this not the greatest piece of acting ever in the history of acting?

That’s “Hedley.”

Barbara Stanwyck. True, she’d chew me up and spit me out, but I’d enjoy the process.

The hair stylists back a million years ago were way underated. My two cents.

Is this not the greatest piece of acting ever in the history of acting?

Yes, for large-breasted values of “great.”

If I had a time machine, I would totally fuck Cleopatra. Just saying.

It’s nice that some people still appreciate inner beauty.

Never mind.

I must be missing something, because I’ve never heard this used on network tv. OTOH, the only “reality” programming I’ve ever seen is the cooking shows.

Must’ve missed the “chicken brining” episode.

The fact is, if you liberals ever read the consitution, its right at the top — ONE NATION UNDER GOD. You keep changing the subject when it comes to our Founders and their Love For Christ. You try to say they are aetheists, deeists and acrostics, but they were BIBLE-BELIEVING KJV1610 all the way.

aetheists, deeists and acrostics

Oh my!

Barbara Stanwyck. True, she’d chew me up and spit me out, but I’d enjoy the process.

THIS.

I am worried most about the acrostics. The acrostics in my living room suck.

and not in a good way.

Bastard’s favorite current actress (playwright, comedienne, etc.), hands down:

Alanna Ubach

Luminiferous aetheists are SERVANTS OF LUCIFER.

Can’t you see why the “douche” epitaph would effect him so personally?

OK up against the wall, “gocart mozart”!!! (If that’s really your name!) You are in violation of penile code something something whatever for flagrant flaunting of proper word use in the case of SadlyNo vs Boozel (heretoforeafter referred to as Tha Only Douche.) And all of you all SadlyNoers who posted behind and akimbo to Mr Mozart and failed to note this erroneous error of omission are all accomplices! OK people get a move on, we’re ALL going downtown!!! (I know this great place on Sixth Street, it’s SO gay on Saturday night!)

It behooves us to eschew the foisting of proper word use.

I dunno, I think “douche” would be a good epitaph for Bozell, regardless.

The fact is, the Founders were good Christians just like L. Brent Bozell III. You attemtps to impune him with potty language is about as affective as trash-talking the Men Who Created a Christian Nation in a world of kaos.

Hey Smut,

You forgot the petard!!

WTF????

I mean, seriously, WTF?

Look at the ad in the lower right corner. Is that Jesus, or a serial killer? Or just one of those really bad People of WalMart trannies? And why is his picture coupled with an ad about “Obama asks moms to return to school”?

Mondo bizarro.

I’m surprised no one has told the joke yet… well, then.

Drunk guy goes up to the bartender and says, “Hey, Buddy, I’d like to buy that douchebag at the end of the bar a drink.” Bartender tells him that if he doesn’t straighten up and fly right, he’s out on his ass. The drunk insists that he’s trying to be nice to that douchebag at the end of the bar, which is why he wants to buy her a drink. Bartender eventually gets tired of the routine and goes down to the end of the bar and tells the woman that the gentleman wants to buy her a drink, what will she have? “Vinegar and water”, she replies.

Thanks, I’ll be here all week, try the waitress and don’t forget to tip your veal.

I’m denying acting ability and, possibly, sentience.

Didn’t she sign up to play a stripper in Sin City and then get all outraged that they expected her to take her clothes off?

As they say – not much upstairs, but a helluva staircase.

That would be an indelicatessan, right?

a thing of beauty

You attemtps to impune him with potty language is about as affective as trash-talking the Men Who Created a Christian Nation in a world of kaos.

Thomas Jefferson was a well-known acrostic.

well that was incoherent. imagine the second line there is NOT in italics. I swear, all I’m drinking is tea. maybe that’s the problem?

The fact is, I am certain that the Founders would not have been accepting of faggotry.

Sadly, No!

OK up against the wall, “gocart mozart”!!!

And what is so wrong about putting the word “douche” on his head stone? It seems fitting, no?

“The fact is, I am certain that the Founders would not have been accepting of faggotry.”

George Washington did chop down that cherry tree. Cherry trees make the best pile of faggots after all.

Look at the ad in the lower right corner. Is that Jesus, or a serial killer?

I think he’s a Hindu ascetic, Brahma is going to have to send an apsarasa to distract him so his austerities don’t threaten the world.

What’s up with my Saturday night India fetish?

I think he’s a Hindu ascetic,

I was thinking “Jesus in a hairshirt” so that’s pretty much along the same lines.

“Ss” always sound softened into “SHs” in recordings. The real problem was this Northeastern speech impediment where they omit the “U’s” palatal on-glide after dentals: “Doose” instead of “Deuce”. Add the cutoff of high frequencies and it sounds like “Douche”.

Don’t get me started on “Dotter” for “Daughter” or pronouncing “Wail” and “Whale” the same.

/pedantic asshole

Well, as long as we’re setting the time machine, I’ll have a helping of To Have and Have Not era Bacall please. Thanks.

I do know how to whistle.

Don’t get me started on “Dotter” for “Daughter” or pronouncing “Wail” and “Whale” the same.

It’s all in the dialect. I live in the Land of the Pin/Pen Merger, where “sale” and “sell” are also used interchangeably.

I first realized that our lives were controlled by the Northeastern Elites when I read in my eighth-grade grammar book that many people pronounce “caught” to sound very much like “court” and I’d never heard any such thing.

I was thinking “Jesus in a hairshirt” so that’s pretty much along the same lines.

Jesus in a hairshirt, I know, I know it’s serious.

Gary, I am both a “deeists and acrostics”. So STFU.

Veronica Lake—The real Jessica Rabbit.

Xecky—

Yeah, I pronounce “pin” and “pen” the same myself. My mother pronounced “Mary”, “marry”, and “merry” three different ways, but I didn’t catch it.

Speaking of airhead hotties who who I would rather sleep with than Lauren Bacall.

http://www.libreopinion.com/members/charliesangels/roberts_tanya_sheena.jpg

Do I have a thing for white jungle women?

“Do I have a thing for white jungle women?”

I don’t know…what was that thing Bo Derek was in, that looked like it should have been called Return of the Man Called Ape?

what was that thing Bo Derek was in, that looked like it should have been called Return of the Man Called Ape?

“Tarzan and His Mate”

See, I knew that.

I don’t know…what was that thing Bo Derek was in, that looked like it should have been called Return of the Man Called Ape?

I’m partial to the ape, myself. Coconut barbells and parrot egg whites seem to go a long way.

Hey, Goddamn Batman:

I’m surprised no one has told the joke yet… well, then.

I didn’t get the details right, but I mentioned the punchline (the best part of every joke! who needs boring “setup” and “pacing”?) at 20:41.

Always trust the shorter. Always trust the shorter. Always trust the shorter. Always trust the shorter. Always trust the shorter. Always trust the shorter.

Jessica Alba bitch-slapped Billy-Sue O’Reilly (figuratively) a while back in teh media – & yeah, despite how that event made my ventricles trob warmly for her, the fact remains: she’s a hell of a long way from being the swiftest boat in the fleet, to put it mildly.

I mean, seriously, WTF?

Uh … HUH. Well … if the idea is simply to grab wayfaring eyeballs, then mission fucking accomplished with bells on.

That’s not a moon Fabio!

[ Mom & apple pie joek goez here plz]

Trob?

Typos brake my hart!

O.K., She is smarter than Bill O’Rielly. (big woop) Bet she has a cuter ass as well.

Of course, if you want gorgeous and smart….

she’s a hell of a long way from being the swiftest boat in the fleet, to put it mildly.

But she’s quite possibly the boat with the cleanest lines.

O..K, who is she and why should I care? Also, I want to care, also.

But the story was another fascinating episode in Hollywood’s ridiculous attempts to explain itself when this kind of raw data is exposed in the nation’s most prestigious establishment newspaper.

I’m trying to wrap my head against this. I get the narrative arc: a united and godless liberal media establishment tries to slip vulgarity into family entertainment and is embarrassed when it is caught in the act, yet again, by fearless grassroots defenders of all that is true.

I don’t understand how all of television programming can be attributed to someone named “Hollywood.” I’m also puzzled that the New York Times can simultaneously represent anti-family elite consensus and provide the source material for this “gotcha.” Do they just publish random streams of “raw data?” Doesn’t the appearance of the scandal in an establishment newspaper conflict with the conspiracy overtones?

VBK ? directed @ U.

I’m trying to wrap my head against this.

Well that’s not a good start. Obviously, I meant to say “rap,” not “wrap.”

“Doesn’t the appearance of the scandal in an establishment newspaper conflict with the conspiracy overtones?”

You are using logic. Big Fail!

Totally off topic, but:

OMG!! OMG!! OMG!! OMG!!

VRBK not VBK, sorry.

“VBK ? directed @ U.”

Sorry—Alicia Witt. She was kind of a child prodigy, I’m given to understand. First saw her on “Cybill”, and then she was in “Urban Legend.” Haven’t seen as much of her lately as I would like to. I don’t know if this is a Photoshop or not, but I’m telling myself it’s not.

NSFW…Oh, who we kidding? It’s Saturday night.

O.K., She is smarter than Bill O’Reilly.

My cat is smarter than Bill O’Reilly and I have a couple of houseplants that might be willing to give it go.

Well, I replied, but WP ate it. Alicia Witt was something of a child prodigy, I’m given to understand. I first saw her in “Cybill”, and she was in “Urban Legend” haven’t seen as much of her lately as I would like. I’m telling myself that pic’s not a Photoshop, but who knows?

I have two houseplants, one is smarter than Bill ‘O and the other is about the same. Poor thing.

Filthy sexist pigs, you compound your errors w/ ageism.

To Have and Have Not era Bacall please. Thanks.

Still cooking at 85. Let’s see Tanya Roberts at 85, if she makes it!

Just watched Body Heat. 1981’s Kathleen Turner kicks ass.

OK, Word Press does not like me tonight! Maybe it’s the embedded links:

http://www.nettekeyif.net/gir/data/media/318/alicia_witt_1.jpg

Alicia Witt was kind of a child prodigy, I understand. First saw her in Cybill, Then she was in Urban Legend, but haven’t sen as much of her lately as I’d like to. I’m telling myself this shot isn’t a photoshop, but who knows?

GM: That’s smart & lovely Alicia Witt. She was in “Dune” when she was about 6 or 8. Dunno what she’s done lately.

Thanks, M. Bouffant. I’ve essayed three replies and WP ate them all. She played Cybill Shepard’s daughter in Cybill, and then was in Urban Legend, but I haven’t seen as much of her lately as one would expect. Had nother good pic, but I think it’s the links that are choking WP. FYWP!!

“Let’s see Tanya Roberts at 85, if she makes it!”

When Tanya Roberts is 85, I hope to be boinking Lauren Bacall’s grandaughter. Or great-grand-daughter if my wife doesn’t mind (she will).

Tanya Roberts at 85

That triggers me.

If you are an guy growing up in the late seventies, you have wanked to Tanya Roberts.

What’s an “an guy”?

Moving Witt.

Once more, w/o affect.

Sure Alicia Witt has nice tits but she aint no Tanya Roberts.

And then, of course, being smarter than Jenny McCarthy may be a low bar, but still…

http://www.wallpapergate.com/data/media/406/Amanda_Peet_001.jpg

It’s all who you imprinted on, Gocart. I’ve still got the hots for Paula Prentiss, 45 years later.

Yeah, but googling Paula Prentis will give you a viris that no condom can help.

Of course, if you want looks, brains, and welding ability, it begins and ends with Kari Byron from Mythbusters.

Nice photo VRBK, I must excuse myself now.

What is the US really doing with Iran’s “frozen” assets?

http://joshfulton.blogspot.com/2009/11/what-is-us-doing-with-irans-frozen.html

What is the US really doing with Iran’s “frozen” assets?

My, I don’t know. I sure wish I had a handy link to a blog post that would tell me, though.

Is this the guy who posted about Sasquatch buttocks?

[Alba]’s a hell of a long way from being the swiftest boat in the fleet, to put it mildly.

Who needs speed when you have Dazzle camouflage?

Pin/pen – that’s why in the South we always call it an ink pen.

It’s all who you imprinted on, Gocart
I conclude that there are some stories from his adolescence that the Goddamn Batman has not seen fit to share with us.

Honor Blackman and Diana Rigg damned near sponsored puberty for me.

Mrs. Peel did sponsor puberty for me.

It was just the kicking ass that did it for me – it was the jumping over high fences. Oh, and fencing (in at least one episode.) There’s something unbelievably sexy about a woman with a sword.

OMG!! OMG!! OMG!! OMG!!
Skafish. “Sign of the Cross”. That is all.

Man, from Mythbusters to dazzle camouflage in a couple of posts. I always wanted to send them that as a suggestion—dazzle camouflage seems counterintuitive, but supposedly there were a couple of collisions between British warships that didn’t see each other in broad daylight. Probably not enough explosions involved to interest them, though.

Kari Byron from Mythbusters.
I’m sorry, what was the

Kari Byron from Mythbusters.
I’m sorry, what was the question again? I got distracted.

There is little chance of successfully hiding a battleship in the middle of an ocean… that at least is my understanding of the rationale for dazzle ships. The Admiralty decided that it was enough if they could make it harder for U-Boat crews to determine a ship’s direction of motion, and its distance.
Also it kept a couple of Vorticist painters occupied through the war years so it wasn’t a total waste.

They did take the Mythbusters route of painting each Dazzle pattern onto a little maquette of the ship, and setting up an optical system to simulate looking at it through a swaying periscope. There’s a room in the Imperial War Museum with the maquettes in little vitrines.

Dazzle furniture.

Yeah, trying to bring together the top and bottom of a ship painted that way in a split-prism rangefinder would be a nightmare, all right. Radar did in camouflage in general, of course, but some American transports still had dazzle camouflage at the beginning of WWII.

Also works as house decor, to liven up parties when people have to go up and down stairs where the position of each step is broken up by multiple outlines, diagonal lines and false shadows. Oh how we laughed.

Oh how we laughed.

Yes, but cleaning the bathrooms afterward did get a bit tiresome.

Dazzle Ships? We’re talking Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark now?

The fact is, where in the constituion do gays get special rights, does health insurance be free, does Hispanic be an offical language, are guns regulated in any way? Address my points with facts and logic, liberals.

does health insurance be free,

Please standardize your grammar, Gary. Those of us who write in the language of Shakespeare and Safire and Buckley and Joyce don’t appreciate Ebonics very much.

Though it doesn’t much matter, somebody dropped an OMD reference so the thread is over, Dot wins. Nobody else gets a trophy, because Glen Beck says when participants get trophies, The West declines.

Alles klar?

Wheee! I finally went last night and watched that “Tea Party” trailer.

As I commented on YouTube, you have GOT to be kidding me.

If you’ll notice, though – the teabaggers have evidently been going through the comments thread for the video and denouncing the critical comments. Wingnut PC at work yet again.

OMG!! OMG!! OMG!! OMG!!
Skafish. “Sign of the Cross”. That is all.

Urgh! on DVD – I is a heepy, heppy, “ket”.

Skafish, Devo, Dead Kennedys, Klaus Nomi, Gary Numan, The Go-Gos, Athletico Spizz ’80, Toyah Wilcox… AND PERE UBU! 🙂 (the band, not me)

Dazzle furniture.

Awe. some.

I need to make some dazzle slipcovers.

Is it the bag? Or the nozzle? My douche attaches directly to the shower plumbing (all hail the Sureshot!). I like the nozzle. Cleanliness is next.

Heu Ubu: are those your shoes I see coming this way?

Heu=Hey.

Flipper still rules, okay?

Back on topic, I do have a thing for white jungle women. 1934 nude Jane skinny dipping scene.

Il nous faut de le douche, encore de le douche, toujours de le douche!

a thing for white jungle women

That there Miz McKim is the Katz Pyjamas!

This thread – it got hawt, all on a sudden like.

Be careful with words like ‘cartouche’
which it’s tempting to rhyme with ‘barouche’.
For the target of verse
may respond with a curse;
ZRM even called me a douche.

Kate Rambeau from “Rock ‘n’ Roll Highschool.” Cute, geeky, knows how to hack the PA system and make bombs. Yowza!

Oh, hey, lookee over there, Bozell is just getting off the fainting couch. PENIS!

There’s something unbelievably sexy about a woman with a sword.

Veiled penis reference

Looks, brains, welding ability?

Nobody mentioned Asia Carrera?

and Joyce

lol

I’m pretty sure McDouché would be considered perfectly acceptable.

Penis. Also.

Uggdress dude! Give up!