How to Fail in Business

Sure, CafePress is lame (not least because it has one of those ‘intercaps’ in the name — a DotCom trend that got OutOfHand and now EveryoneUsesThem without even KnowingWhy), but let’s face it: If you get an idea for a bumper sticker, no longer must you wander around wishing you had an uncle in the bumper-sticker industry. You’re there, baby.

It’s with this in mind that we’re proud to announce the existence of a still-shuttered, yet bustling CafePress StoreFront in which we’re accumulating DumbAssCrap of the nature that swirls around in our heads all day and every day, preventing us from concentrating on any but the most elementary tasks, pretty much.

For instance, this has long represented a big hole in the bumper sticker market:


And this is a natural and necessary addition to the oval Eurosticker canon:


And it’s not just stickers, but also apparel, housewares, knick-knacks, greeting cards, and other junk. There now exists a Pastor Swank wall clock, for one thing. And even uselesser things! Things that NobodyWants! Because WhyNot?

‘Mad,’ they say. ‘Joking,’ they say. We’ll see who they call mad and joking when we roll out the S,N! Mutant Attack Kitten line.

“You are madd und zhoking.”

Are not, either.


Comments: 13


I have just checked the Three Bulls! Cafe PRess shop. We have sold exactly 3 items. Two of which Uncanny Canadian bought and were promptly stolen from his foyer. We will fight you to the death for this discriminating 18-24 market.


Remember: if you ever need conclusive proof that The Left (me) and his sister are in tight with Hitler The Cat, here’s the photographic evidence.


er…link? Not that I *need* a Pastor Swank wall clock, but…


What jkd Said. I just went through nine pages of supposedly “religious” clocks (several of which had pictures of Ben D., or at least his namesake), but there were NONE of Pastor Swank–or even Hillary Swank (either now or the 1992 Buffy the Vampire Slayer Hillary).


Proud to say that my CafePress shop has yet to sell ONE item.


It isn’t uploaded yet, but I can post a pic here later.


Don’t be so mean about the intercaps. The SideKick will be hurt & you don’t want to hurt the SideKick, do you?


Dude – not ‘intercaps’ – ‘camel casing’, or ‘Pascal casing’…


if (SomePeople.DontGetIt)


I made myself an “FW” sticker a while back.

Those would sell.


kitties are not Republicans


Violating a couple cafepress rules there, darkbackward.


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