NASCAR is the worst so-called “sport” ever. It. Sucks.

You obviously haven’t been watching the curling at the Olympics, have you?

Actually, I hate watching them crash. I’d prefer to see a race go off without a single crash or caution.

Just saying.

I agree that it hardly qualifies for the title of “sport” and it is outrageously wasteful just in terms of fuel alone, but I will say that I love hearing Darrell Waltrip say Boogiddy Boogiddy Boogiddy.

How the fcuk did a love for NASCAR become a neocon pre-requisite anyway?

Are we really supposed to believe Rupert Murdoch sniffs fuel vapors every weekend?

Are we really supposed to believe Rupert Murdoch sniffs fuel vapors every weekend?

Nah, he can afford the good stuff.

You actually have to be aware of something to make fun of it.

Isn’t that kind of a joke about NASCAR?

Non-Athletic Sport Centered Around Rednecks! :-0

Wingnut nation is kind of like bizarro world. They don’t like something unless it sucks. NASCAR, mullet country music, pork rinds, celibacy, religion, George W. Bush. You get the idea.

NASCAR may be pointless, but you’re forgetting about basketball, where a bunch of freakishly tall sweaty young men in silly shorts run back and forth for an hour, and only the last two minutes matter.

On the other hand, I enjoy curling. But, only with kitchen brooms. The push brooms they use now are a travesty and must be stopped!

Funny, I like or am neutral towards virtually everything on JK47’s list (save pork rinds and Bush).
My Grandpa raced stock cars back in the day (…before flame retardant suits). He loves the races- I find it boring, but can watch it to kill time. It’s not a sport though- except in the sense that you can bet on it.

I had a really good time ribbing a buddy who is a big NASCAR fan a while ago (hey, I live in central NC, after all). He was trying to convince me it was a sport of great skill, and I kept asking him why they have to drive so fast. If driving skill were what mattered, said I, couldn’t they all be restricted to driving 30 mph? That way, the driving skill and strategy would dertemine the victor, and crashes wouldn’t hurt anybody.

I finally got him to admit that the main attraction is the horrifying wrecks. We all knew this, though. Watch the news, they rarely show the end of the race on the sports highlights; if it’s NASCAR news, you can bet it’s a big crash.

“Dertemine”. Great. If only there were some way to preview what I post before I submit it!

You obviously haven’t been watching the curling at the Olympics, have you?

Oh PLEASE, homey. Those curling chicks r HOTTT. Curling is like a BILLION-GA-JILLION times better than watching a bunch of assholes driving in circles for FOUR STRAIGHT HOURS.

NASCAR is the children’s version of the World Rally Championship.

It is so damn sad how we American’s take something that should be exciting and make it boring as hell. Woohoo, guys making nothing but left turns all damn day!

Oh, come on, people–NASCAR is a sport! It involves many sportsman-like skillz: sitting in a car, stepping on the gas pedal, turning a steering wheel (in a completely predictable fashion, unlike, say, street driving), and sometimes, though very rarely, stepping on the brake pedal! Respect. All I’m sayin’.

I like stock car racing and pork rinds. the hot kind of pork rinds. NASCAR does suck.

Personally, I am more partial to non-competitive hiking. Curling seem to waste much less of fossil carbon energy than NASCAR, and, from what little I did see, offers much less opportunities for serious injuries (carpal tunnel syndrom?)

NASCAR on the radio- you just keep waiting for something to happen, but it doesn’t, but then 12 beers later and a 12 pound brisket being devoured, you kinds of see how it could work as background…but not in a good way.

Funny, I like or am neutral towards virtually everything on JK47’s list (save pork rinds and Bush).

Come on, you have to admit that celibacy sucks.

NASCAR is the perfect GOP sport: it requires a lot of money to compete (one racer told me how much money you have to replace blown parts in a major factor in success), it doesn’t require any physical effort so you can become as fat as Jonah and still do it, it uses up tons of fuel (although I’m waiting to see what happens when W.’s energy plan forces them to run on biomass), it pollutes, it makes lots of noise, it’s largely white, largely male and celebrates the virtues of going nowhere fast.

Its the continuance of the great tradition of the hippodrome, Ben Hur, and all that. Which not coincidentally was also enjoyed largely for the carnage factor.

I agree with the points made by zen_more. This “sport” has it all for the target audience, at least until they legalise topless Rollerball.

a bunch of freakishly tall sweaty young men in silly shorts run back and forth for an hour, and only the last two minutes matter

Dr. Freud would be able to tell you what most men are thinking when they read this description. 🙂

Sorry, but I like pork rinda and NASCAR…or as my daughter calls it “rednecks turning left”.

It’s kinda like politics: you find the one you like (in my case, Dale Jarrett) and root for him to win; you decide who you don’t like (Dale Earnhardt, Sr.) and hope they spin out. I got lucky with Earnhardt, and I’m really enjoying watching the wreck of the Bush administration.

A lot of these so-called sports really do remind of Brave New World. The sports themselves have no real “sport” value…competition that relies on the skills of the individual competitor and…well, forget physical activity. Their value is economic…making a buck from the all the consumption that goes on.

To me, NASCAR sucks because you’re expected to also celebrate all the low-brow crap that goes along with it.

Curling is like a BILLION-GA-JILLION times better than watching a bunch of assholes.

Plus, as we say here, Curling’s the only sport where you can smoke (at least until fairly recently) and drink a beer while playing it.

go fast TURN LEFT!

go fast TURN LEFT!

WOW!!

yeah, i fuckin hate it too.

“…and I’m really enjoying watching the wreck of the Bush administration.”

Um, yeah, but we’re at the foot of the bleachers, right in his polesmokin’ way!

I babysat once for a family where the father had entire NASCAR races taped while they were gone.

Why yes, he was from South Carolina.

I contend that NASCAR would be more interesting and require more skill were half the drivers going in the opposite direction.

“Personally, I am more partial to non-competitive hiking. ”

What the fuck is competitive hiking?

I agree with the points made by zen_more. This “sport” has it all for the target audience, at least until they legalise topless Rollerball.

I think they were showing the topless Rollerball semi-finals this week on ESPN 8 “The Ocho”!

Damn, I must’ve missed that ESPN 8 broadcast, what with the USA Network Silk Stalkings marathon and all.

Meanwhile, I think the Kids In The Hall fans will agree with me, there’s no more noble sport than shirling.

Oh come on, Brad. You drive around in circles sweating bullets because it’s 190 degrees in the car and you’re sitting right on top of the oil pump. For three hours, without taking a leak.

It may not seem athletic, but it is physically demanding.

Of course, NASCAR was a lot better before a) Earnhardt died and b) they adopted that silly 10-driver playoff rule (as if the falloff in ratings late in the season had nothing to do with the core audience starting to watch football instead).

it doesn’t require any physical effort so you can become as fat as Jonah and still do it

Not anymore. Body fat retains heat and contributes to fatigue late in the race. These days those guys have to stay lean.

And, if we define sports as events where competitors do not have to take steroids to succeed, NASCAR is the only sport we have.

F1 is auto racing. NASCAR is to F1 what Pabst Blue Ribbon is to the Macallan.

And I used to live in North Carolina. As you can imagine, I was very popular there…

new snake!

This is just another battle in the Culture Wars, and as such, is completely silly. First of all, I kinda doubt that Ann Coulter, Charles Krauthammer, or George Will enjoy the’selves some NASCAR on the weekends. Second of all, God do I hate NASCAR! I grew up in Richmond, VA and we were saturated with it. When we got a shiny new track, you woulda thought we had gotten an actual major league sports team. My liberal Alabamian wife somehow tolerates it, and she’d prolly say that yankee a$$holes look down on us Southerners, but truthfully, its appeal has become national. From NJ to CA, it’s become one of the biggest businesses in modern “sports entertainment” history.

Yeah, NASCAR sucks. So does curling, bobsled, blah blah. But they do at least have competition, and a clearly defined winner.

You want horrific non-sports? I give you;

ice dancing
synchronized swimming
synchronized diving (WTF?)
figure skating

Dale Ernhardt ruining his shit all over that wall was like fucking 9/11 all over again for the nascar fans, this guy is some sort of NASCAR martyr now, a NASCAR Jesus.

NASCAR represents everything I hate about George Bush’s America, especially the mindlessly wasteful over consumption of precious resources for a laugh.

Not to mention the inexplicable deification of said mindlessly wasteful overconsumers.

Dead Race Car Driver = hero!

Bereaved mother questioning evil policies = traitor! uppity bitch! communist! etc!

It’s the immediate ancestors of “NASCAR Nation” that shot Dr. King and elected David Duke. And then they wonder why folks up North think they’re all batshit.

“I mean it, cobaz. NASCAR is to sports what Jonah Goldberg is to military service.”

One of your best-ever lines.

(But, to be fair, Jonah felt he needed to be scar his child’s psyche with bedtime stories about the welfare state and the radical gay agenda.

And, of course, no one currently deployed has children, so his excuse makes a lot of sense.)

I grew up pretty much at NASCAR Ground Zero (in the non-9/11 sense) and have family roots in the area going back 200+ years. And yet NASCAR? I never saw the appeal.

Ditto iced tea, butterbeans, black-eyed peas, red-eye gravy, liver and the Confederacy.

My mother swears I’m adopted.

Oh come on, Brad. You drive around in circles sweating bullets because it’s 190 degrees in the car and you’re sitting right on top of the oil pump. For three hours, without taking a leak.

I always thought you could pee in those jumpsuit-thingies they wear. Like a diver’s wetsuit or something.

I mean, come on – they can make them flame retardent, but not pee-absorbent?

Curling isn’t meant to be a spectator sport. You have to participate to enjoy it. And by participate, I mean drink about a 12 pack per match. Oh, and NASCAR sucks.

I forgot to turn left, lol.

It’s the immediate ancestors of “NASCAR Nation” that shot Dr. King and elected David Duke. And then they wonder why folks up North think they’re all batshit.

This is exactly the kind of arrogant bullshit about which I’m talking. I understand that not all yankees are pricks, but get this through your skull: not all Southerners are rednecks, like NASCAR, vote Republican, etc. Read this:

http://www.salon.com/opinion/feature/2006/02/19/nascar/index.html.

not all Southerners are rednecks, like NASCAR, vote Republican, etc.

Very true. But those folks you mention are therefore not part of “NASCAR Nation”, by definition, which truly is a state of mind. One that exists up North as well, I’ll tell you what.

In fact, my brother and his wife are big NASCAR fans, but not members of “NASCAR Nation”. And not because they live in Massachusetts.

And if you thought for a second that I honestly didn’t know that all Southerners are somehow not clones of each other, then take a look at some of the later comments in the “That’s So Hugo” thread. The relevant ones will sort of jump out. Looking at the context of the previous comments and the overall context of the site helps a bit, too.

And yes, calling all “Yankees” “assholes” is similar stereotypical arrogant bullshit. But everyone didn’t post complaints your post, because of everything I said in my previous paragraph. Reminds me of the title of the Billy Joel album with “You May Be Right” on it (rockin’ record, BTW).

Now let’s all lighten the fuck up, shall we?

I didn’t intend for the tone of either of my posts to sound rude or too serious, but looking back on them, I think I may have over-reached. Just for the record: I wasn’t saying that all yankees are a$$holes; in fact, some of my best friends are from the Great White North. (Seriously!) We’re all liberals here, so internecine fighting is counterproductive. Incidentally, my wife is a HUGE Yankees fan. (Before the Braves came, there wasn’t a team in the South, and her Dad loved Mickey Mantle.)

Sorry! No offense/serious outrage intended!

Exactly, my good man! I took your original post as purely non-offensive S,N!-comment funness. I had no problem with it at all. I pointed to it as a seeming parallel to what seemed to be seriously bombing on me for (which, come to think of it, could have been worded better to prevent any pan-Southern connotations). So, for that, my sloppy slapdashery, I will apologize. Sorry! 🙂

Goddamn, aren’t we lefties so freakin nice? (‘cept Angry Hillary… hah)

Being from Red Sox Land, I was going to make a joke about your deployment of “Yankee”, but then I’m really not a baseball fan. (And the parallels between “Red Sox Nation” and “NASCAR Nation” are, I’m afraid, more extant than many around here would admit. Apologies to any Jamaica Plainers about… 😛 )

To All: Move along! Move along! Nothing to see here!

Speaking of slapdashery, I hope the missing word or two from the above post is surmountable. We seem to read Marie’s work OK, so perhaps I worry over nothing. (I’m great at that, BTW.)

Speaking of inbred fucks, don’t you think you Americans have a duty to contain yours? I mean, they’ve killed at least 30,000 people since March, 2003. Isn’t that enough?

MCH: I’m afraid we NASCARphiles (yes, that’s a word … starting … right … now) don’t have much of a sense of humor about the, ah, sport. We’ve heard all the turn-left jokes before … over and over and over. C’mon, come up with some new material already. 😉

Just for the record: Twice a year they get to turn right. Not well, but they manage.

Curling isn’t meant to be a spectator sport. You have to participate to enjoy it. And by participate, I mean drink about a 12 pack per match.

That reminds me – I’m sure all of you were as annoyed as I was when they banned drinking during darts tournaments (for the players, I mean). The bloody cheek.

Leno had a comedian on about
a night or two ago, said much the same about hating NASCAR.
Said if they didn’t like his comments and started to chase him all he had to do was turn right.
ron up north

…I never saw the appeal. Ditto iced tea, butterbeans, black-eyed peas, red-eye gravy, liver and the Confederacy.

For shame, sir! Maybe you were adopted…

WHAT?!? How can you not love the Budweiser Little E tallboy promotion? How can you not love makin’ fun of the Rainbow Warrior ‘cos he’s kinda “fancy” if you know what I mean? How can you not love sayin’ “Greg Biffle” with a mouth fulla pork rinds? How can you not love repeating “All I wanna do is drive, Daddy!” from ESPN’s hilarious “3” over and over again until your sides ache?

How can you not love pretending to be a winning NASCAR driver after the race, saying stuff like, “I wanna thank the good pee-puhl at Mack-Donnuhls, and the fahn folks at Quaker State, and yew know we coudna ainta been hair with-owt any of air sponsors, like the Allstate Inn-sure-ance team, they really care, folks, and the crew over at Cokie-Coler, hats off ta y’all good pee-puhl, and I don’t wanner forget the Michelin team, drinks’re on me next time, boys! Who’m ah fergettin’ hair … oh yeah, gotta give ‘er up for JiffyLube, and the folks over at eHarmony, they’ll setchyew right by a gal yew can take home to momma, or a fella if yer so inclined, not that there ain’t nuthin wrong with that … and we cain’t forget about Diebold, or Pizza Hut, or Miller, yew know, why not wash down one of them Pizza Hut pan pizzas with an ice cold Miller, folks? Now anybody I plumb forgot, they know who they is, and we love ’em.

Whoo-hoo! Git ‘er done! Now that’s funny ratch air. That’s a funny joke ratch air.

How can you not love this? You’re so missing out!

“F1 is auto racing. NASCAR is to F1 what Pabst Blue Ribbon is to the Macallan.”

Bullshit. I know plenty of F1 fans who can appreciate NASCAR, if only because there is hardly any passing anymore in F1. The fact is, the two circuits are just different, both with their pluses and minuses.

As a NASCAR fan who hates the GOP, I’m glad I have you people around to remind me that I hate Democrats too. Thanks for keeping me non-partisan. Nothing but pure ignorance could induce such asinine comments as “NASCAR requires no physical effort”. It might behoove you to actually educate yourself on something before putting those itchy little fingers to work, but I guess when you’re preaching to your own jackass choir, that sort of nonsense isn’t necessary.

Jason – Another commentor already pointed that out, but don’t let me take the air out of your rant or anything…

Not that it changes anything about how wrong NASCAR is on so many other levels.

Ben: In my defense, sir, I offer a love of ACC basketball, shrimp ‘n’ grits, “Carolina”-style burgers (topped w/mustard & chili), BBQ (preferably the eastern-N.C., vinegar-based style, although I won’t turn my nose up at the Lexington variety if that’s all there is) and good white liquor (what the Yankees call “moonshine”; my dad’s cousin, a retired managing editor for Fortune magazine, made it in a locomotive-shaped still in his front yard right up until shortly before his death last year).

I guess it’s a meat-vs.-legumes thing, huh?

I’m from Illinois, and I’m going to write my senator about NASCAR. I’m going to let him know that it supports terrorism. I’m going to lobby him to get the ball rolling to stop these terrorist actions by NASCAR (wasting fuel). There is no purpose to NASCAR, except for those terrorists that support it to call it a hobby (bullshit).

WHAT A BUNCH OF BULLSHIT

DID YOU KNOW THAT 137 MILLION GALLONS OF FUEL IS WASTED ON AMERICAN HIGHWAYS EACH YEAR BECAUSE OF FAULTY OR NO GASCAPS..WAKE UP YOU PEOPLE ITS NOT NASCAR THAT SUCKS,IT DUMBASSHOLES LIKE YOU ANS BIGGIE,SEE

I would like to go to a nascar race so i could dress like a woman.I’m a transtesticle and nobody knows me there .I could hang out in the bathrooms and just take deep breaths of the smell of farts and urine.

Did you know that i can do both at the same time..Suck&Swallow. i’ll be waiting for all you race fans.. look for me in the next stall

Im a moron. nascar will cause this by wasting the world supply of fuel

Hi, I’m biggie haha gotcha you all

Hi boys.I had wonderful anal-sex lst night.My good friend Mr SEE came over and we did wonderful things to each other.I really liked t-bagging his nice hot balls.Then we analy probed each other,Ill fill you all in later..ooooooh i cant wait to get to daytona,for the ramrod 12 in

Biggie really isn’t a biggie, I measured him at 2″

SEE Nascar sucks

SEE is right, he is no Biggie, rare for a black man, but I love him just the same.

Jakebird is that ass from that other blog, he knows nothing, and he is also SEE, I know him all too well

Crissy

everyone hates me because i like little boys penises.i like the way they feel in my mouth.no hair to get between my teeth.oh i can hardly wait till the race starts so i can be alone with a young boy in the toilet.i get that fuzzy feeling in my little twanger.i have to go rub my teddy-bear now.i’ll talk more later

I really love that Kasey Kahne, he is so cute and sexy, I dream of him most every nite, but he ignors my advances. I hate those ho’s that get all the cute NASCAR guys, thats why I hate NASCAR. But I still have biggie and jakebird to keep me satisfied.

SEE NASCAR sucks

See, I love NASCAR drivers too, I travel all the time, can we meet sometime?

Edwin G.

SEE, you don’t want to meet me? I think we have spent time together before, maybe you remember?

Edwin G.

I told you it is over, now move on bitch, stop sending me messages!

SEE

NASCAR
sucks

Help me SEE on the Big Mans Blog, please.

I will always be there to help you Shit Stirrer, you know you are the best thing to ever happen to me and the blog. I thank you for all your support and helping me with the “megga posting” SEE he just bailed out on us, he is so unreliable.

JB