Too late, too late!
Posted on February 1st, 2006 by Gavin M.
From tonight’s State of the Union speech:
A hopeful society has institutions of science and medicine that do not cut ethical corners, and that recognize the matchless value of every life. Tonight I ask you to pass legislation to prohibit the most egregious abuses of medical research – human cloning in all its forms … creating or implanting embryos for experiments … creating human-animal hybrids…
Podhoretz: “Close the gates; I’m in!”
Very funny, but there’s no human in that thing on the right.
hybrids, huh? that answers so many questions.
… creating human-animal hybrids…
Wait. What now? When did we start? I want in on this.
One-third cheetah, one-third eagle, one-third vending machine.
YEAH!
Preview: State of the Union Address
Renee Montagne talks to Senior Correspondent Juan Williams about some of the topics the president is
The President’s worried about human-animal hybrids, huh? He’s a bit ahead of science. As far as I know, the farthest we’ve gone in terms of genetic splicing has been transferring a gene from a jellyfish into a monkey, which sounds freaky until you realize that all that did was show that scientists could, in fact, transfer a gene from a jellyfish into a monkey. It might have made the primate glow in the dark, but it didn’t exactly cause it to sprout tentacles.
Unfortunately, most of the population has no concept of the limits of genetic engineering. Even more unfortunately, the President is not smarter than most of the populace. My guess is that this will be like the Mars thing – he’ll be roundly mocked for a week and will never speak of it again.
He’s not talking about stuff like Baboon hearts is he?
Well, I certainly can’t approve of this. Someone needs to photoshop that back hair off of him. Where’s that priggish aesthete who hangs around here all the time?
I expect that as he gets further through his copy of the complete works of H.G. Wells, we can expect legislation banning foods that cause excessive growth, federally funded research into time travel, and the large scale bombing of Mars.
Animal-human hybrids? And some people still don’t believe that Bush has started drinking again. “Centaurs! The Centaurs are after me again!”
“human-animal hybrids”? Do you think he is really reading H.G. Wells or was the Island of Dr. Moreau on television last night (the Brando one) and he caught it as he was on his way out and just decided to throw it into the SOTUS
just to besafe?
I think he may have been riffing off this particular article, which has enjoyed a fair amount of web press lately.
Stalin’s half-man, half-ape super-warriors
Nothing like evoking the commies for a good scare, eh? And ir provides just enough science fictional unreality to appeal to these fantasyland monarchs.
Best. Article. Ever!
We need us some of them Damn Dirty Ape-men!
Isn’t it a little late for the chimperor to be worrying about man-animal hybrids?
My God. I had no idea scientists had any intention of doing any of those things because of how pointless and expensive they all are. Just goes to show my ignorance.
The Podhoretz shot was great. That ought to silence the critics of Kaballist choseness theology forever.
A Bonabo wouldn’t rate Poddy jr. a single bannana
This photo casts restricted country clubs in a whole new, favorable light!
This photo casts restricted country clubs in a whole new, favorable light!
[scowling and shaking index finger]
I assume you mean that Podhoretz should be restricted from country clubs because of the Gorgonzola smell from his steaming butt crack.
Can there be a new rule on Sadly, No! that prohibits any and all references to JPod’s steaming butt crack?
No kidding. I used to like gorgonzola.
JPod – the MANatee!
I guess this means no distribution deal for “Mansquito II: Bloodsucker’s Revenge”?
“From the research labs of Monsanto, to Midge Decter’s womb, to your back yard swimming pool, it’s the new, 2006 model J-Pod (back-hair included!).
yaiolxs nqueejd