Nuclear bombs are like kidneys: Everyone’s got two

Sadly, No! regular, kidney expert, the embarrassment of the Hoohah Institute, the poor man’s Robert Guillaume, the one and only Thomas Sowell begins his latest column by being mystified:

In a country with more conservatives than liberals, it is puzzling — in fact, amazing — that we have the furthest left president of the United States in history, as well as the furthest left speaker of the House of Representatives.

Next up, terrified:

Perhaps people who are busy gushing over the Obama cult today might do well to stop and think about what it would mean for their granddaughters to live under sharia law.

Oh no he didn’t — oh yes he did! Not to worry though, Tommy’s about to take a whack at it like Andres Galarraga at a 55-foot curve ball:

The glib pieties in Barack Obama’s televised sermonettes will not stop Iran from becoming a nuclear terrorist nation. Time is running out fast and we will be lucky if it doesn’t happen during the first term of this president. If he gets elected to a second term — which is quite possible, despite whatever economic disasters he leads us into — our fate as a nation may be sealed.

See, Iran just started working on a plan to become a “nuclear terrorist nation” and Obama’s televised sermonettes are providing them with exactly what had been missing until now (aka Step 2). Step 1: Chant ‘Death to America.’ Step 3: Nuclear terrorist nation. In case you thought Tommy was done however, you have no idea what it takes to become a Senior Fellow at the Hoover Institution:

Just two nuclear bombs were enough to get Japan to surrender in World War II. It is hard to believe that it would take much more than that for the United States of America to surrender — especially with people in control of both the White House and the Congress who were for turning tail and running in Iraq just a couple of years ago.

Read that again if you need an excuse to have a drink: Tommy considers it a possibility that Iran will develop two nuclear weapons, acquire the means to get them over here (alright, I live in Germany, so over there — so long, suckers), detonate them, and that the original Party of Shrill’s response will be: well, that’s it for us (goodnight Vegas, you’ve been great!). In what kind of fucked up, bizzaro, upside-down universe would this even be considered anything better than the ramblings of a very crazy frozen caveman? (Yes, frozen.)

A quadrupling of the national debt in just one year and accepting a nuclear-armed sponsor of international terrorism such as Iran are not things from which any country is guaranteed to recover.

There would be no guarantee indeed as far as that first thing is concerned: if it were true. I wouldn’t cancel afternoon school to bury that little shit! What you say? (PDF, see page 22). Is the projected gross Federal debt by 2019 (!), 23,140 US bn, quadruple the actual debt in 2008, 9,986 US bn? Sadly, No!? But Tommy is an economist! Maybe sharia law stole his calculator.

One good thing about Tommy is that he does have a good sense of humor:

That is why [the Republican party’s] internal squabbles are important for the rest of us who are not Republicans.

Ha ha ha. That Thomas, he looks just like an independent. Yeah… looks like.

Bonus points for the note at the end of the column:

EDITOR’S NOTE: This piece has been amended since its initial posting.

Probably a case of verschlimmbessert. [Thanks to cw for the link.]

 

Comments: 137

 
 
 

I’m not saying that Sowell’s not a freak rightwing idiot, he is, but I think they all know what they have to do in order to get their wingnut welfare payments.

 
 

It sounded less crazy in the original Kryptonian.

 
 

we have the furthest left president of the United States in history

The technical term for this kind of construction is “lie”.

 
 

Probably a case of verschlimmbessert.

Maybe, but you’d have to assume that he actually wrote something better to start with.

 
 

Uncle’s just as skeert of a colored gentleman in the White House as all his color-less friends in the rabid weasel community are.

My only question is: Would they all be as skeert of a jig-a-boo if Alan Keyes had been elected? Or is it the undeniable (objective) fact of “the furthest left president of the United States in history,” who also happens to be, uh, you know, not 100% British stock?

Mustache of Idiocy Joseph Farah (Isn’t he of *gasp, urk* Iranian descent? His attempts to destabilize our gov’t. by “birthering” the President really can’t be interpreted as anything but Khameini-ordered sleeper cell activity.) has “oh, my, what if?” delusions
as well. I mean, also.

 
 

Sorry, Tommy-boyo, I won’t be having granchillun.

Time to go kaffiyeh shopping, bitchez…

 
 

The schadenfreude, oooo, its so good!

Can you imagine what would happen if we had a actual leftist for a prez? You could solve the energy crisis with the steam of exploding wingnuts.

 
 

And what is it again that everybody has one of?

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

It constantly amazes me: The pants-pissing fearmongers lived through 42 years of coexistence with a nuclear-armed superpower that ultimately had at least 25,000 weapons and ICBMs to deliver them! NOW, just because THEY need Depends undergarments to deal with the world, a small country 6000 miles away having a couple of first-generation nukes, and no way in hell to deliver them here drives them into an insane frenzy of fear? And we’re supposed to share this panic?

I know I keep linking to this, but it shows how ridiculously easy it is to construct a minimum nuclear weapon if you can get the materials. (This is why North Korea’s two failed tests are so ignominious; it’s my bet they let their fuel cook too long and are trying to build bombs with reactor-grade plutonium.) This design was first tested in 1956! Anybody who thinks you can keep 53-year-old technology out of the hands of anyone who wants it is deranged.

P.S.: I was recently surprised to learn that the primary for the cruise missile warhead is apparently of the old soccer-ball high-explosive lens type like the kid built in The Manhattan Project. Can’t be beat for minimum size and weight, but much, much harder to design.

 
 

Now I wish I had better memory for parody trolls. Wasn’t there one who claimed to be a rabbi and who worshipped Sowell like unto a pagan god?

 
 

It took the loss of their fleet,
the fire-bombing of most of their major cities,
unrestricted submarine warfare against their merchant shipping,
the threat of a US invasion,
the defeat of their army in Manchuria by the Soviet Union
and two atomic bombs to convince Imperial Japan to surrender.

 
 

a case of verschlimmbessert

German beer… mmmmm…

 
 

Major Kong: And of course, that was an Imperial Japan with no nuclear weapons of its own, which just might have some small bearing on the matter.

 
Danny Mason Keener
 

It’s adorable when people think Obama and Pelosi are left wing extremists. American politics is basically the moderate wing of the Young Republicans club running against the hard right wing of the Young Republicans club to see who gets to run the prom decorating committee. Only the prom decorating committee has nukes and close to unfettered executive power (when it chooses to use it, which it would never ever do in support of a genuinely liberal social cause). These people spazz and foam at the mouth when they have to survive under the brutal centrism of a center-right corporate regime like Obama’s. What would they do if we ever elected someone who was actually, you know, worth half a goddamn? Just kidding, I know that will never happen.

 
 

Not to treat the argument seriously, but it probably also mattered when the U.S. dropped atomic bombs on Japan that Japan didn’t have any, nor did anyone else.

 
 

[Lord_Julius]Find out what this man’s been smoking and have some sent up to my room.[/Lord_Julius]

 
 

In a country with more conservatives than liberals

Well now, there’s your problem right there: you’ve got your obvious bullshit mixed up with your lies you pulled straight from your ass. I think I can fix it, but it’ll cost you.

 
 

So, what’s up with Thomas Sowell? Has he gone senile? Or does he just not care what honest, decent, sane, rational Americans think?

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

In a country with more conservatives than liberals

You would think that, with large coastal cities being the obvious targets of a hypothetical nuclear terrorist attack, Sowell and his ilk would actually hope for such an attack.

In fact, it would be so likely that Sowell should be waterboarded (you know, ticking timebomb, and all).

 
 

That’s the thing about vague labels…they’re not particularly meaningful. But if you go through things issue by issue, Americans are pretty much a bunch of far-left out-of-the-mainstream moonbats.

Even when the Preznit is going hurr hurr at marijuana legalization, support hovers around 40%, and basically everyone (70-80%) favors decrim and medical use.

 
 

There’s the mistake right there; conservatives think there are only about 5,000 liberals total in the U.S., concentrated mostly in Washington, New York, and Hollywood. To them, until they can be proven otherwise on a case-by-case basis, everybody else is a conservative. I mean, they MUST be… they’re AMERICANS!

 
 

Smut Clyde said,

June 27, 2009 at 23:21

we have the furthest left president of the United States in history

The technical term for this kind of construction is “lie”.

Well, that’s what decades years of vigorously shoving the Overton Window to the right will get you. There are plenty of idiots who think Obama and Pelosi are “far left”, whereas they’re probably too conservative to have even been considered Democrats 40 years ago.

 
 

Perhaps people who are busy gushing over the Obama cult today might do well to stop and think about what it would mean for their granddaughters to live under sharia law.

The fact is, I’m quite frankly amazed that, to date, none of them have photoshopped Obama as Black Caesar and started selling posters, T-shirts, bumperstickers, and coffee mugs with the image.

Now there’s a marketing cash cow.

 
 

Perhaps people who are busy gushing over the Obama cult today might do well to stop and think about what it would mean for their granddaughters to live under sharia law.

And, simultaneously, live in a society where Teh Ghey Agenduh and the Feminazis run rampant, forcing us to abort our babies conceived through Buttsecks.

 
Stag Party Palin
 

I don’t know if this is the stupidest article ever written, or just the most paranoid. It’s about time to replace the gooper elephant. How about crossed banjos rampant on a field of Depends®?

 
 

In a country with more conservatives than liberals, it is puzzling — in fact, amazing — that we have the furthest left president of the United States in history

Could it be that sane people use the word Conservative to mean, “Hey, let’s mind our own fucking business and generally not be round the clock arseholes because we’ve got better things to do.” While deranged arseholes use the word Conservative to mean “We need to ensure that only married heterosexuals engage in sex solely to create more babies to worship Jesus. Hey! Who the hell told these bitches they could leave the kitchen!”?

Nah. It must be that ACORN, fiddled with the election results.

 
 

Martinis are like boobies. One is not enough and three are too many.

 
 

Anything over a mouthful is wasted.

Too lazy to make link of (avian) boobies, but consider it done.

 
 

Wow. Just wow. That is some gold plated, zircon encrusted wingnut there. Some serious historical amnesia on display as well. Sowell has to be as old as I am and I remember Ford as almost as liberal as Obama.

 
 

“Perhaps people who are busy gushing over the Obama cult today might do well to stop and think about what it would mean for their granddaughters to live under sharia law.”

Sharia law. Yeah Tom, that’s gonna be happening any day now. Because of liberals. Because they love puritanical religious fundamentalists. Because they are all gay and promiscuous hippies. Makes sense.

So the question is: is he that stupid or does he just think his readers are?

 
 

They do have a point though… GW got a country with a surplus, respeted internationally, with a good economy and turned it all into shit in less than 8 years. And they LIKED the guy!

A guy they hate could only do worse (in their view).

 
 

The first quote had three falsifiable claims alone.

Its like he’s trying to employ the strategy of when 10 people try to storm past security to get into an event. Sure, security may grab one or two, but plenty enough will make it past.

Also, I must not have been born yet when we surrendered to Russia. I mean, after all, they did have at least 2 nuclear weapons, so we must’ve surrendered at some point, right?

 
 

M. Bouffant said,

June 28, 2009 at 2:51

Anything over a mouthful is wasted.

Too lazy to make link of (avian) boobies, but consider it done.

Boobies!

 
 

It is by will alone that I make my mind immobile
It is by the dust of Chee-toh that thoughts acquire stupidity
the fingers acquire stains, the stains become a warning
it is by will alone that I make my mind immobile

The chant of the Asshat

 
 

Christ, but the basement of the Hoover Institution must be rank with the smell of four month old half eaten pizza crusts and unwashed soiled underwear. And Sowell’s got three more years to go before Sarah Palin becomes President, and he can finally emerge into the sunlight.

 
 

There are plenty of idiots who think Obama and Pelosi are “far left”
Yes, but Sowell himself doesn’t believe that. It’s not as if the voting records of Obama or Pelosi are classified or arcane.

Nor can he sincerely believe that the US would simply surrender in response to a two-missile nuclear first strike. If he did think that the Obama administration is that pacifistic, then why would he worry about Iran, when Russia has the missiles already plus an equally hostile leadership?

And I doubt that he has really swallowed the Brooksian bullshit that Americans are conservative by nature (so long as you overlook their voting patterns and their preferences expressed in opinion polls). That’s a marketing slogan rather than an argument.

Nah. It must be that ACORN, fiddled with the election results.
The combination of “real Americans vote for conservative politicians” plus “Obama is an extreme Leftist” does sound like a dog-whistle to the weird tea-bagging fringe element — Obviously teh election was fraudulent! You’re justified in demanding a do-over! Armed insurrection, peoples!

Perhaps Sowell thinks he can find common ground with the Turner Diaries crowd.

 
 

Anything over a mouthful is wasted.

If that is a statement about martinis, then you are wrong.

 
 

the weird tea-bagging fringe element modern conservative movement’s mainstream

Fext

 
Knights in White Satin
 

“feminazis…forcing us to abort our babies conceived through Buttsecks” Well, it often results in lawyers, you know.

 
Knights in White Satin
 

Depends or Deepends?

 
 

Step One: Iran gets two 1945-type A-bombs.
Step Two: Iran takes over Newfoundland, and uses it as a base to launch one of the bombs at Boston.
Step Three: Iran issues its demands: the U.S. must surrender and institute a Sharia state, with Khameini as Supreme Leader, or else New York will be next.
Step Four: The President and Joint Chiefs mull their options, which seem to boil down to: A) destroy Iran, B) surrender now, or C) wait until they nuke New York, and then surrender. They choose option C).
Step Five: After New York gets it, the U.S. is all ready to surrender as planned, when someone notices, gee, Iran is out of bombs now, we could probably go back to that “Destroy Iran” option with no real downside. Tragically for America, nobody on the Joint Chiefs seems to comprehend this kind of “out of the box” military thinking.
Step Six: Our Iranian overlords arrive, a couple of hundred at a time, by ship and plane. Nobody shoots them, because….

Sorry, I’m out of ideas here. I have to write to Tom Sowell and see if he can give me some hints.

 
 

Ugh. Sowell. Wingnuts.

Jesus H. Motherfucking Christ.

Some people need panic to justify their existence. Some people need to piss their pants just to know they’re alive.

I pity them. I pity them all.

Whaddya say we re-open all o’ them old state mental institutions that got mothballed in the Reagan years, round up the wingnuts, and tuck them into bed?

There’s lot o’ jobs to be had, fixin’ up them old places. We can even put windmills and gardens and other neat shit on the properties to make ’em more self-sufficient.

I’m not much of a carpenter, but I’d be very, very happy to join the round-up crew.

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

@ Jeffrey Kramer:

Very nice. You have boiled their fantasy scenario down to a tee. And that’s with one of their “strong” presidents in charge! Can you imagine what a secret Mooslin surrender-crat like Obama might do?

It’s been the same thing for 60 years now:

1: No matter how many nuclear weapons we have, they’re not enough to accomplish anything!

2: No matter how few nuclear weapons somebody else has, they’re enough to accomplish everything!

 
 

Martinis are like boobies. One is not enough and three are too many.

Unless you’re Eccentrica Gallumbits.

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

Al Bundy: “Oh, you mean like that dream where sexy Martian babes with three hooters feed you Ding-Dongs?”

Steve Rhodes: “What’s the third hooter for?”

Al Bundy: “The one on the back’s for dancing.”

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Mr Kramer, you forgot Step n:

PROFIT!!!11!!

 
 

“feminazis…forcing us to abort our babies conceived through Buttsecks” Well, it often results in lawyers, you know.

And conservatives.

 
 

The fact is, I’m quite frankly amazed that, to date, none of them have photoshopped Obama as Black Caesar and started selling posters, T-shirts, bumperstickers, and coffee mugs with the image.

Put me down for one of each, please.

 
The Kid from Kounty Meath
 

What we now call “Election ’08” will someday be known to everyone as “The Great November Shinebox-Bludgeoning”.

 
 

“So the question is: is he that stupid or does he just think his readers are?”

This, G-d help me, is my question, too. Every time. Is it stoopidity, or deliberately lying propaganda?

Then again, I’ve never met the man, so why presume to accuse him of mendacity? Instead, I elect to show him the respect he’s due, and just think
of him as a deeply, deeply stupid man who–go understand this crazy world!–has been given a column to write by an apparently legitimate institution.

 
 

— I resign! You speak to my secretary! You can’t talk to a government minister like that! I won’t be out of work long, you’ll see! I’ll get that Ministry of Fisheries job! You watch! I’ve kept goldfish!

— Mr. Eccles, Mr. Eccles, we are not for one moment doubting your sincerity. It’s just your intelligence that’s in question.

— Well, I accept your apology.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

In a similar vein:

Sherri: Hey, Bart. Our dad says your dad is incompetent.
Bart: What does ‘incompetent’ mean?
Terri: It means he spends more time yakking and scarfing down donuts than doing his job.
Bart: Oh, okay. I thought you were putting him down.

 
 

Thomas Sowell? The Republican party has lost Sowell to the “I’m NOT really a Republican” Party?

That’s gotta sting Newt to the core.

I’d imagine Romney is thinking about shaving his head?

 
 

I wonder if Mr Sowell has evolved into a creature that eats books and can excrete the digested material into a computer. This material consists of random words joined together in a nonsensical manner which the spellchecker and grammar checker do their best with.
No, he’s just eating shit sammidges until the Conservatives get back into power and he can weedle a job in the Information Department.

 
 

Tom dropped the bomb on us, baby… He dropped the bomb on us.

 
 

Tom dropped the bomb on us, baby…He dropped the bomb on us.

 
 

whereas they’re probably too conservative to have even been considered Democrats 40 years ago.

Hell, they’re pushing “too conservative to be mainstream Republicans 40 years ago.” Let’s see, that was Nixon in his first term. Hmm, besides the hat-tip to hippie hating, he did run on a promise to “end the war and win the peace in the Pacific”. Big on arms control, opened up relations with China, implemented government control of wages and prices, shifted significant government spending from the Pentagon to public benefits, toyed with the ideas of minimum income and universal health care, regulated industry with things like the EPA and the Clean Air Act, top tax rate of 70%, etc. etc.

And he was a “Conservative” back then. Yeah, I know, he was also a huge fucknut, but I’m just sayin’ that even the fucknuts back then were only so crazy. They seemed to understand that they represented a country made up of actual people who were actually a part, however small, of the actual political process. The current fucknuts, fuck, I can’t even tell what they think. The goalposts have been trucked off so far to the right, the new “center” is firmly out in the “Here Be Monsters”-land of the starboard persuasion, and anyone trying to pull them back is swiftly and mercilessly Overton-defenestrated.

 
 

I’ve said this before:

I voted for a candidate that would make 25% of the population think the world was coming to an end. Frankly, Obama, you could do better. I wanna see Governers(R) flying to South America because they think they are fleeing the antichrist, not because the gash is so soo sweet.

OT, but I got a new job today! 6 years for a BS in biology, but it’s my sommelier certs and being a loser bartender for 10 years that gets me any paying job. I’m so glad I memorized the TCA cycle

 
 

Is it stoopidity, or deliberately lying propaganda?

Change that ‘or’ to ‘and’ – the answer would be Yes. Plus (also), throw in some unearned self-regard, and it’s yer wingnut resplendant.

I was prowling the main Montreal library (La Grande Bibliotheque) yesterday and the first book I saw in Politics was something by Sowell. Who publishes these kooks and distributes them to unwitting citizens, I asked myself.

Anyhow, somewhat surreptitiously, I tucked it behind the other books. There were impressionable children about.

 
 

Did you see Kos’s hate mail?

Hilarious. Wingnut gold.

 
pro forma socialist
 

Thanks, g.

 
 

Dear socialist fuckstick

That there’s a Dale Carnegie grad for sure.

 
 

Jeffrey Kramer said,

June 28, 2009 at 4:06

Step One: Iran gets two 1945-type A-bombs.

I thought step one was “Cut a hole in the box.”

The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

June 27, 2009 at 23:42

Clicking through some of that, down the line I found something of interest about the Brit’s nukes,

Red Snow was used as both a free-fall bomb and as the warhead of the Blue Steel missile.[1][2] In the gravity bomb role, it was fitted into the casing of the Yellow Sun weapon

which of course made me wonder if they then dubbed it “Yellow Snow.”

 
 

Two nukular bombs and no returns. Nerny nerny ner.

Because the game obviously goes to whoever gets their bombs away first (reminiscent of another adolescent boy game).

And why do I have this visual image of about a dozen stereotypical Iranians lofting a cartoon missile over their heads, as they line up to get on a “Tehran to Murr’ka overnighter” bus?

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

which of course made me wonder if they then dubbed it “Yellow Snow.”

I don’t think Wiki’s list of the Rainbow Codes is exhaustive, but apparently not. There was a Yellow River, described as: “Yellow River – mobile tactical control radar for Bristol Bloodhound – a.k.a. AMES Type 83.” Nothing about its inventor, I. P. Freely, however.

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

Also, in case the Rainbow Codes don’t sound macho enough, remember the test of Orange Herald Small remains to this day the largest fission explosion in history.

Also, the largest U.S. explosion, and the second largest ever, was Ivy Mike, which sounds pretty wimpy in itself.

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

Sorry, got Ivy Mike confused with Castle Bravo, so make that the second largest U.S. explosion.

 
 

What time is it Eccles?

 
 

I always thought Dominic Yeso would make a fine porn name.

 
 

What time is it Eccles?

Streaming

 
 

Sharia law stole his calculator so he can’t multiply? But the Arabs invented algebra! Silly Tommy Sowell…higher math is apparently for those who wish death to the USA…

 
 

You know, one could propably make a shit load of money, by publicly offering a bet with any wingnut scared of the Iranian bomb. (in comments in their post)

Bet either 20 or 100 bucks, if Iran does not perform a nuclear strike against US during Obama precidency, the wingnut will pay us, if they do, we pay the wingnuts.

Adding some insults how the wingnuts are afraid to put their money where their mouth is, or hinting they can’t afford twenty bucks bet because the allowance their mommy gave them was all used to cheetos and mountain dew will help get them hooked.

You can even bet once for the first term, and offer double or nothing for Obamas second term.

The biggest problem is getting the money from them of course. Maybe have a way to set the money aside in the beginning on neutral party.

Come on, who takes the bet? I’m willing to put 20 USD on “Iran does not nuke US”

 
 

Our Iranian overlords arrive…..

I for one welcome the arrival of our Shia overlords, and their delicious Iranian kebabs & fragrant rice.

 
 

Anyhow, somewhat surreptitiously, I tucked it behind the other books. There were impressionable children about.>/i>

Yet another member of the conspiracy to hide the truth, is there nothing you libtards wont stoop too……….

And why do I have this visual image of about a dozen stereotypical Iranians lofting a cartoon missile over their heads, as they line up to get on a “Tehran to Murr’ka overnighter” bus?

Alison wins the thread. Additionally, they wouldn’t be allowed the missile on the bus, they would have to put it on the roof…..

 
 

fuwp and your damn complicated italics off/on toggle….

 
 

I’d imagine Romney is thinking about shaving his head?

Unpossible. But only because there isn’t a tool sharp enough to chop through the thrice shellacked locks.

 
 

I love these Republicans that won’t even admit to being Republicans.

Sowell is one of those “Independents” who “Votes for the most qualified candidate” – which just so happens to always be the Republican.

 
 

The Great Obama Wingnut Shift continues apace. National Review and the Hoover Institute have become what was Clownhall territory only a few short months ago. Redstate continues deep into former Freeper territory. Freepers now cause the folks at Bellvue to go “daaayyyy-ummm, those guys are nuts…”

NRO will be nothing but (literal) hoots and screams by Christmas at this rate.

 
 

Very Reverend–can’t wait to see a serial killer movie where the aliases are like “Herald Small” and “Mike Ivy” and it turns out that the murderer is a nuke-loving wing nut. “How did you find out, Inspector Cribbage?” “Simple. I used Google.”
As for the missive that started this thread, one can but sigh, “oy.” Another sulphuric emission from The Fellowship of the Wrong. Only in Palo Alto.

 
 

This sort of rubbish that Sowell has produced is obviously targeted at absolute idiots the lowest of low-information voters. No one who knows anything about the U.S. nuclear arsenal can believe it or even make sense of it. Sowell himself doesn’t believe a word of it. The editors who put it in print are perfectly aware that it is nonsense through and through, and only publish it to delude and bamboozle their audience of sub-normal fools, whom these editors hold in complete contempt. The saddest part is, each of the mouth-breathing suckers our tragically under-informed fellow citizens who reads this crap and takes it at face value gets the same number of votes as each of us.

 
 

The Japan bit is hall-of-fame wingnut stupidity. He should be kept away from all sharp objects and any small choking hazards.

 
 

Rainbow Codes

Sounds gay.

 
 

any small choking hazards.

Tsk. Cutting off the man’s wedding tackle would be going too far.

 
a concerned citizen
 

In a country with more conservatives than liberals

Sadly, No!

 
 

What’s always missing from these wingnut rants (most of them anyway) is what logicians call a “conclusion”. So, what does “standing up to the mullahs” actually mean? More cowboy talk, a la Chimpy McFlightsuit? Air strikes? Full-on invasion? With what army? What exactly does “standing up” mean, Tommy?

I seem to recall from my history class in grade school that the USA had been bombing the hell out of Japan for months before Hiroshima, their armed forces were shattered, and the Russians were closing in from the north. Yeah, it’s exactly the same situation!

Yes, two nukes launched at the USA would instantly result in the USA surrendering to Iran. Yeah, that whole “mutually assured destruction” idea that kept us duck-and-covering under our desks over the Soviet Union will be forgotten. “The Iranians have nuked Atlanta!!! Our only recourse is to not turn Iran into a slag heap of melted glass with the nuclear arsenal we’ve paid billions for, but to start building mosques!”

Yes, the Farce is strong with this one…

 
 

Thank you for NOT running your photo of Subcommander Sowell sitting on the toilet.

 
 

Somebody quoted the Goon Show up there. I’m so happy and warm.

 
 

Thank you for NOT running your photo of Subcommander Sowell sitting on the toilet.

Frankly, I was a bit disappointed that he didn’t run it. Because, you know, Scuse mah FINgahs!

 
John in Bucharest (temp. in Munich)
 

“Perhaps people who are busy gushing over the Obama cult today might do well to stop and think about what it would mean for their granddaughters to live under sharia law.”

I just laughed and laughed at this, pure comedy gold all by itself. I mean, com’on, what the fuck planet do these idiots live on? I know wingnuts, especially those paid to be wingnut, are generally encouraged to utter all manner of absurdity; but usually the hardcore batshit insanity is left to people like Pammy Geller or Rush Limbaugh, not the “serious thinkers” such as they are.

I take this as a very encouraging sign. If the wingnut “intelligentsia” (again, such as it is) is writing shit like this, I think the Right-wing has decided to voluntarily cede any chance of ever regaining power, which is good for everyone (even most of their supporters) except a few plutocrats and “corporate persons”.

I hope they keep it up!

 
 

Sowell really does hold his fellow citizens in contempt, doesn’t he? Glossing over the minor details that Iran doesn’t have a nuclear weapon and doesn’t have the means to deliver one to CONUS and that the nuclear arsenal of the US numbers 5400 warheads, Sowell leaps to the conclusion that a nuclear attack by a state currently in foment will lead to our surrender to it because guys like him aren’t in charge.

 
 

Oh look, the liberals are giggling with glib and glee over there inability to understand Dr. Sowell. Tsk.

 
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
 

Did anybody find video online for the original “Scuse my finGAHs” infomercial? It didn’t look like the Magic Bullet ad was it – or was it?

 
 

Just two nuclear bombs were enough to get Japan to surrender in World War II. It is hard to believe that it would take much more than that for the United States of America to surrender — especially with people in control of both the White House and the Congress who were for turning tail and running in Iraq just a couple of years ago.

Aren’t these the same people who were telling us a year or two ago we need another terrorist attack in this country to remind us why we should appreciate Bush’s anti-terror policies?

 
 

Aren’t these the same people who were telling us a year or two ago we need another terrorist attack in this country to remind us why we should appreciate Bush’s anti-terror policies?

Indeed, this is central to their point.

 
 

Failure to rattle saber in general direction of Iran = Sharia law imposed on U.S.

That ranks up there with:

U.S. Census = concentration camps for non-socialists

Small increase in Marginal top tax rate = Marxist command economy

Public option in healthcare plan = Sent home to die

Barack Obama elected President = End of U.S.A. as a free country.

The political right keeps plunging deeper into the wilderness, screaming about socialism the whole journey, and then seems confused that the supposed “center-right” majority doesn’t want to follow them there. What a shock.

 
 

Wingnut hateymail is a must read.

 
Knights in White Satin
 

“Step Six: Our Iranian overlords arrive, a couple of hundred at a time, by ship and plane. Nobody shoots them, because….

Sorry, I’m out of ideas here. I have to write to Tom Sowell and see if he can give me some hints…”

The prospective Shooter’s dropped their guns from their sweaty hot hands, and ran away?

 
Knights in White Satin
 

LD: “Come on, who takes the bet? I’m willing to put 20 USD on “Iran does not nuke US”

Better make that Euros. Or pretty rocks. The USD may not be worth much in a few years.

 
 

Knights, I am surprised at you.

Nobody shoots them, because….

Because Obama has taken ALLLL OUR GUNNNNNNS AWAY!!!11eleventy

 
 

Uh oh. The latest Celebrity casualty

Dropping like flies at 50.

 
 

Speaking of international terrorism, the US is currently sponsoring at least two group (one Kurdish and one Afghani) that carry out crossborder attacks against Iran

 
Knights in White Satin
 

You know, I’m actually sorry about Billy Mays. I liked him, even tho I never met him. Maybe because I, too, was a State Fair Pitchman (woman) in days bygone. I tried to sell solar water-heaters.

 
RUGGED IN MONTANA
 

MIGHT I SUGGEST A MOMENT OF SILENCE FOR BILLY MAYS????? HAVE A LITTLE RESPECT FOR THE MAN, PEOPLE!!! HE WAS THE WHITE MAN’S MICHAEL JACKSON AND I CAN ONLY ASSUME THAT THERE WILL BE CANDLELIGHT MEMORIALS ALL OVER THE WORLD TONIGHT!!!

 
 

Henry Lewis–

“Anyhow, somewhat surreptitiously, I tucked it behind the other books. There were impressionable children about.”

Well done. But next time, just move it to Fiction.

 
 

Did anybody find video online for the original “Scuse my finGAHs” infomercial? It didn’t look like the Magic Bullet ad was it – or was it?

No, Xecky, the magic bullet ad was not it – but that might have been the pitchman. It’s been something like 15 – 20 years since I saw the “scuse my finGAHs” infomercial and my brain has taken a lot of abuse in the interim, so I can’t be sure if that was the same guy or not.

My search for the original “scuse my finGAHs” infomercial has, alas, thus far been unfruitful.

 
 

And oh, hey, look…an actual youtube comment that not only doesn’t lower your IQ just by reading it, but actually brings the snark:

But Wait !! Not just one heart attack But two!? (in response to many comments of “RIP Billy”.)

 
 

And why do I have this visual image of about a dozen stereotypical Iranians lofting a cartoon missile over their heads, as they line up to get on a “Tehran to Murr’ka overnighter” bus?

If my memory of the script of Teh Bedsitting Room is correct, the British nuclear deterrent consists of delivering the bomb by first-class mail (budget cuts, you know). It is sent back due to insufficient postage.

 
 

Jennifer, I haz a yu-t00b for you.

(See all the brilliant comments. Brilliant!)
~

 
 

#

a concerned citizen said,

June 28, 2009 at 17:39

In a country with more conservatives than liberals

Sadly, No!

Actually, the wingers’ forty (fifty? seventy?) year war on the word “liberal” has taken its toll. Party ID favors the hell out of the Dems, and has for a long time. The trick, of course is where the independents land. Lately, that is pretty heavily on our side.

Ideological self ID, though, shows that forty years of screaming about how un-American “liberals” are has worked. There are more “conservatives” than “liberals.” Again, the tricksy part is how one interprets “moderates.” By “conservatives” standards of “if you ain’t with us, you’re agin’ us”, and their bleating about how you’re not a true conservative lest you find Pammykins and Malkin and Blech to be way too soft on the commiehippiebastards, I think we can make the split at “conservative” and “non-conservative”, putting “moderates” in the left camp, but that’s just me.

No, there aren’t that many of us willing to cop to being liberals in the face of the ongoing whingetard onslaught. It seems the fashionable thing to do has become calling one’s self independent and voting for people who aren’t screaming batshit crazy.

Small steps, but I’ll take what I can get.

 
 

Rugged–

“HE WAS THE WHITE MAN’S MICHAEL JACKSON”

Maybe. But remember, Michael Jackson was the white woman’s Michael Jackson.

 
 

Oh look, the liberals are giggling with glib and glee over there inability to understand Dr. Sowell. Tsk.

Anybody pretending to be a Sowell defender wins Teh Internet. Every time.

More please!

 
Undifferentiated Blob of Evil
 

Oh look, the liberals are giggling with glib and glee

Personally speaking, I usually giggle with more glee than glib. In fact, I can’t ever recall giggling with glib.

 
 

Nobody ever wants to giggle with me!

 
 

I’m trying to remember if I ever saw or heard of a Sowell defender who ever used an example or said anything specific or knew anything about formal logic or proper grammar.

But, then, if you admired Sowell, why would you need any of those things?

 
 

Remember when Sowell said Sirhan Sirhan was Iranian?
Good times.

 
Knights in White Satin
 

#

glib said,

June 28, 2009 at 23:07

Nobody ever wants to giggle with me!

Glee: I will! I will! And if we bring beer I’m sure we can convince Glad and Gay to come along. I’m not so sure about Gabby and Gossip though.

 
 

We’re in mourning for Michael Jackson.

 
 

Gab couldn’t make it, but he sent a gift.

Not many people know this, but the original Gab was actually the fourth Magi. The other three had bought the last myrrh, gold and frankincense in the shop, and when Gab got there, the only thing left on the shelf was a bright pink plush giraffe.
This gift of the Gab became the Baby Christ’s favourite toy, but the all-powerful Myrrh and Frankincense lobbies insisted on editing it out of the story.

 
 

No, no, Michael Jackson was the white person’s Diana Ross.

 
 

And Diana Ross was the white person’s Billie Holliday.

 
 

A quadrupling of the national debt in just one year

What a stupid, stupid mofo. And these people think they’re the party of money?

 
 

And Thomas Sowell is the black person’s Sling Blade.

 
 

Hello Milligan fans

 
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
 

My search for the original “scuse my finGAHs” infomercial has, alas, thus far been unfruitful.

Well, thanks for looking. I crack up every time I see the phrase in any context here, still – I reckon I’ll get all jaded about it at some point. Though come to think of it, I still laugh every time at “tonguejack my shitbox”, so maybe not.

This gift of the Gab became the Baby Christ’s favourite toy, but the all-powerful Myrrh and Frankincense lobbies insisted on editing it out of the story.

I so love threads like this.

 
 

Sorry, I’m out of ideas here. I have to write to Tom Sowell and see if he can give me some hints.

Don’t forget that in this scenario, the entire rest of the world will have no opinion about Iran detonating a nuke in the U.S. None.

 
 

Ah ha! I’m onto Sowell’s game now! He must be one of those undercover liberals, posing amongst the wingnuts to subvert him. In today’s piece, he subtly introduces arguments that, followed to their conclusion, mean we can slash the military budget, leaving just enough to support a few dozen warheads and delivery systems. What more would we need, when two warheads will deliver any country to our tender mercies?

 
 

And baby Jesus clutching his pink stuffed giraffe waddled his way into fame and fortune as Jesus nailed-on-the-cross-with-his-pink-stuffed-giraffe Christ.

But he woulda won if those damn Romans hadn’t had two nukes pointed at him.

And we got the Goons on Radio National! Yay, Oz!

Oh and Lesley, lovely wingnutty goodness there. I love this bit:

LOL you dont even own a gun because you leftofascists want to repel the second amendent.

It’s not only water-repellent, it’s second-amendment-repellent too! Plus this free set of steak knives!

 
 

Where’s everybody gone? Eccles?

 
 

SHUT UP ECCLES!

 
 

He’s fallen in the water!

 
 

leaving just enough to support a few dozen warheads and delivery systems. What more would we need, when two warheads will deliver any country to our tender mercies?

Actually, minimum wingnut warhead requirements would = Total # of countries in the world besides the US x 2

 
 

In today’s piece, he subtly introduces arguments that, followed to their conclusion, mean we can slash the military budget, leaving just enough to support a few dozen warheads and delivery systems.

Yes, but we also must be sure to use our two before they can use their two because double jinx, no takebacks.

 
Xecky Gilchrist
 

Actually, minimum wingnut warhead requirements would = Total # of countries in the world besides the US x 2

Good point, but I think that still means we could shed about 4500 of them.

 
 

“too conservative to be mainstream Republicans 40 years ago.”

It’s not that hard to understand. The Democratic Party has been expanding it’s borders absorbing Republicans (Q: What do you call a Rockefeller Republican? A: A Democrat.) while the GOP has been contracting and becoming more right-wing. 40 years ago, in order to get elected to office as a Republican, you had to demonstrate some intelligence. Today you only have to demonstrate commitment to right-wing beliefs. There is no evidence that the GOP intends to try to get back some of the people they have lost. In fact, they seem to want to be a smaller and more isolated party. Sowell is talking to his base. These are the people who went out and bought guns after the 2008 election, not because they thought the government was going to stop them from buying guns, but because they think they are going to need them to stop the government from becoming the second coming of the USSR.

 
 

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