Biting The Hand That Feeds You
Perfesser InstaCracker has apparently been off trying to have sex with robots, leaving poor Missus Perfesser Bionic InstaCracker alone at home by herself, re-reading Atlas Shrugged and shedding a few furtive tears into her Stoli Rocks. Then an Internet legend currently popular among the winguterati suddenly gave her an idea:
I’ve been thinking. If Obama is elected, maybe in lieu of a tip I should leave a note like the following:
HOPE AND CHANGE FOR AMERICA: Spreading the Wealth Around.
In lieu of a tip, $_____ has been donated to the Re-Elect Obama for President Campaign. Thank you for supporting the man and the movement that are bringing America together!
If enough people leave notes like this, I’m sure it will galvanize waitpeople everywhere in support of The One!
In other words, if John McCain can’t take money from the poor to give to the rich, faithful Republicans will just have to take the money from poor people themselves. Well, “Dr.” Helen, I would normally oppose such an idea, but in your case, I say go for it. Bon appétit!
Did somebody say Snotchos?
Yum!
mikey
That’s absolutely hilarious! Imagine the bizarre universe we’d have to believe in to accept the notion of libertarians having tipped in the first place! Will wonders never cease?
These people really are odd, aren’t they? And you know what, I’ll bet good money that post is already wingnutting its way through the email systems of amurka. And many of the recipients will open that email and exclaim, as though they’d found a pearl of great value, “that’s what I’ll do, that’ll fix ’em.”
I can’t dehumanize people who think like that. They’ve already done far more to themselves than I ever could.
I seriously want to know why a server making most of his/her living off tips should be punished for having the audacity to vote in a particular fashion. Hell, let’s assume that Wingnut logic is truer than true, and that the most punished people in America are taxpayers making more than $250 000 year and by encouraging the crazy Bolshevism that is the (supposedly) progressive income tax, said server is actively working against his or her own interest. Still doesn’t mean she or he isn’t doing his or her job. Do these people want HUAC convened whenever they go out to dinner or something?
Did somebody say Snotchos?
Well, yes, Roy Edroso just did. So I’m recycling my comment from Alicublog.
As they say, the best form of revenge is to live well… but if your service-sector job does not pay well enough to make that possible, then adding extra body-fluid seasoning to douchebags’ take-home orders is the next best thing.
Proof that waitpersons really do shit icecream cones, I’m sure they’ll be happy to provide evidence to the woman who has been cuckolded by artoo detoo.
Yeah, Republican nuts informing waitstaff (by courageously leaving a note while they flee) that they’re not getting tipped because Obama won will really cause people to flock to the GOP.
Looks like Missus Perfesser’s jumped on this bandwagon. All the fashionable wingnuts are spreading this urban myth around.
No one would ever rub a sandwich in his or her crotch before serving said hoagie to a certain miserly repeat customer, would they?
OK, I have a deeper connection to the service industry than most people, and I can tell you that coming across that kind of note instead of a tip does nothing but make you another “Man, I had this one customer…” story.
But I guess these stupid assholes are doing anything they can not to feel useless and impotent, which they most certainly are. Keep up the good work, wingnuttia! Making useless jabs at waitstaff is DEFINITELY the kind of behavior I expect adults to engage themselves in.
Not at all childish, no sir…
Do these people want HUAC convened whenever they go out to dinner or something?
They DO convene HUAC whenever they go out in public.
What in fucking hell is WRONG with these people? Emotionally abusive upbringing of some sort, I suppose? In any event, there’s no excuse. At some point, if you’ve got any semblance of human compassion in you, you get OVER your fucking self enough to realize that you get what you give. Stiffing restaurant servers as some sort of political payback cuz yer grumpy old Rethug ways are finally on their way out? Fuck you. May you in your next life be that server, or that homeless person, you asshole, because you didn’t realize in THIS life that they are you, and you are they. Assholes.
How convenient for the wingers that this “idea” the Dr. Misses Perfesser has come up with can be used as an excuse not to tip, since it’s not something they’re prone to doing anyway. Now, instead of just looking like a typical cheapskate asshole, they get to look like whiny political tittybaby cheapskate assholes.
Rather than “galvanizing waitstaff in support (or against) the One”, it will galvanize waitstaff to urinate, jizz, hawk, and spit into the food of said cheapskate assholes, so there is that upside.
Clif – is that poo-za that I see on the table?
Mz Nicky, this this “withhold the tip” story was generated (and probably fabricated) by one wingnut and all the rest are spreading it around as if it’s their idea.
As an aside, Amy Holmes from CNN on Real Time last night is a little Republican lap dog on crack, yapping the same old talking points at the speed of light. I find her horrifying to watch. The beady staring eyes, the yappy mouth, the pink suit…aaaargh.
Boy, those two really deserve each other. And pancreatitis.
…just out of curiousity, who is the third party in that happy photo? (Was the photo taken “pre-tip”?)
Missus Perfessor didn’t come up with the idea but like all good Retardlicans she’s making it her own.
She’s not too bright is she? If I were her I’d avoid restaurant meals for awhile.
Lesley: Yes, I know. In fact, it’s the regurgitative blah-blah-o-rama Teh Truthless troll was spewing here the other day. I knew it sounded derivative. Truthless isn’t original enough to have come up with anything, even that lame, his own self.
Word. The socialists in Spain when they took over during the civil war (and communists in general) would abolish tipping and raise the wages of people in the service industry. Because one thing that socialists knew was that having people’s livelyhood dependant on the generosity of the rich fucking bastards who could afford to go to restaurants in those days was a pretty poor idea.
The fact is, I have been doing this for days now, and I feel like it tells the usual O supporters who is really in charge — me. I am a true American taxpayer and if those losers want to send their tips to Osama, let me do it for them.
I ran this by my son, who used to work as a waiter and is now a bartender. His response: “Effing Republican asshole left me a note instead of a tip. She’ll get a mixed drink alright the next time she comes in.”
I thought Amy Holmes got beat down pretty bad on Maher last night but I was particularly struck by what I perceived to be this conservative “bubble” of ideology she lives in. I felt the beat down was punching multiple holes in her bubble and she was having to acknowledge it. I enjoyed that.
That tip thing is so mean-spirited and negative. These are unhappy people.
This is for Gary.
Preparing mixed drinks for Republican return customers is a snap thanks to the colorful array of butt-plug swizzle sticks manufactured by our hard-working adult novelty industry.
(I wouldn’t open the link at work.)
when the Promise Keepers — you remember them? — did that big rally in DC a couple of years ago, they engaged in the following asshole move: they’d go out to a restaurant or a club (sometimes a strip club, yeah, I know) and leave something that looked like a $20 bill as a tip.
But it wasn’t a $20.
It was a $20-looking piece of paper on the front, and the back was blank but for an advertisement for the Promise Keepers and some contact info.
They are simply just not capable empathy, are they?
Also, it seems to put a little wrinkle in to the “work hard and get ahead” wingnut worldveiw to deny a tip for good service,as if the only part of the “socail contract” is what is on the bill. Maybe because the bill can be enforced by the power of the state, so that makes it seem real.
Is there any chance that (g)libertarians are just the most moset selfish and self centered assholes in the world?
I wish these fucking loosers would “go John Galt” and find out how the real world treats immature fucking selfish babies that think they are God’s gift to the fucking universe. Please you shitbag assholes, go and found your conservative/libertarian utopian commune in the middle of fucking nowhere, and never bother anyone else again.
As for the tip idea, I think it’s a great – provided you aren’t just being a total shit and don’t actually donate the money to a Re-elect Obama campaign, because otherwise – you would be afucking liar as well as a skinflint.
Is there any chance that (g)libertarians are just the most moset selfish and self centered assholes in the world?
Why yes, yes, I think there’s just a slight chance that that might be the case.
If only the rethugs had half of Sid’s class.
Hey, here’s an idea. Do this very thing, Dr. Helen, but tell your waiter you’re going to do it *before* he/she begins to serve you. “The better you work, the more the ‘tip’ I’ll be giving that homeless guy outside!”
After all, the universal if tacit bargain all customers and waiters agree on, UP FRONT, is good service for good gratuity. It’s part of the universally-agreed to rule of the transaction, for the same reason you don’t pay the waiter first before being served.
If you’re going to change the terms of that, shouldn’t this be disclosed at the beginning? Isn’t that what conservatives insist on–a transparent and untrammeled transaction in the market?
Come on, it’ll be great! Honest, pointed, and clever–as opposed to the cowardly, sneaky, passive-aggressive, dishonest, and juvenile th—
Oh never mind.
Does her scheme count on waiters wearing Obama flair, as in the original fictitious version, or is she just assuming all waiters are Democrats?
I suppose it’s safe enough to assume, since most people are Democrats this year.
Heh, heh. Promise Keepers. 15 minutes of fame and a flameout. One of those brilliant ideas to shear the sheep, only the sheep never knew it. Probably increased divorce rates in this country 5% as well. Practically every right wing “movement” benefits one person primarily and the rest get all the work, like the Minutemen border “guards”. They get to pay someone to do something they could do anyway without the organization. Eternal suckerdom must be wired into their brains.
The worst thing about this election season for me is that I’ve learned more about this John fucking whiny ass titty baby Galt than ever wanted to know. I sorta assumed that I didn’t have to read Ayn Rand because all the people who liked her writing were angsty teenagers or fucking selfish pricks that wouldn’t piss on a burning man if they weren’t going to make a buck out of it.
Fuck John Galt. If fucking John Galt were here today, I would fucking kick his pathetic little ass so fucking hard his grandchildren would feel it. Fucking pussy. Seriously, what the fuck is he gonna do about it? Convince the other Atlas Ubermench that I’m a meanie?
Look, you have a problem with helping out the less fortunate? Fine, be aselfish prick – but dedicating your life to convincing others that fucking giving aid to the needy is a bad idea – YOU ARE A FUCKING ASSHOLE.
Well of course all waiters are Democrats, silly. Otherwise they’d be living on that sweet WingNut welfare!
I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again: Do NOT fuck with people who handle your food.
HOPE AND CHANGE FOR AMERICA: Spreading the Wealth Around.
In lieu of a salary, $_____ has been donated to the Committee of Qualified Law Professors to Re-Elect Obama for President Campaign. Thank you for realizing that the State of Tennessee is better served having our law students read Audacity of Hope than taking your Constitutional Law course, since you clearly misunderstand the document!
If enough people leave notes like this on their law professor’s door, I’m sure it will galvanize tuition-paying families everywhere in support of The One!
the point of this, which is not to stiff waitstaff, but to point out how unfair wealth re-distribution is
…perhaps a more effective demonstration of how unfair wealth distribution is would be to mug some Wall Street types and distribute their cash to the homeless.
Do NOT fuck with people who handle your food.
Words to live by.
I do my best to be nice to everybody, except where a pattern of unprovoked assholishness has been proven on the other person’s part. But it’s especially easy to treat people well who have a job that I used to have and couldn’t stand.
If my waiter wore a McCain tie, I’d scratch an M in my face, take my tip and pay a rowdy bunch of corporate lobbyists, or Joe The Rapist, to take turns having me over a barrel.
And you liberals are all missing the point of this, which is not to stiff waitstaff, but to point out how unfair wealth re-distribution is. Taking away the money you earned and giving it to someone else I deem more deserving
I think you’re missing the point – which is that if you engage in this type of behavoir, you’ll get in return some e coli and phlegm in your food that we deem you to deserve. You know, just to point out what a monumental douche you are.
Ooooh, they’re so skeered of socialist-y phrases like “share the wealth,” “redistribution of wealth,” et cetera and so on, as if someday if they never have to cough up a penny more than they absolutely have to they’ll have enough money to buy their own McMansion and live as vulgar a lifestyle as the cable TV porno-commerical propaganda tells them they should be.
Somehow it’s okay if “the wealth” is “shared” by, for example, Exxon-Mobil, which has just reported another quarter of billion-dollar profits, or poured into otherwise-bankrupt financial institutions (oh-so-not “socialist”, I guess!) but hungry children, the uninsurable and the disabled are shit outa luck. See, this is what PISSES OFF liberals: The disingenuous greedy fucking MEANNESS of everything Rethuglitarians represent.
Don’t you wish your state was insane like mine.
Floridians have had enough of hanging chads, truth be told.
I thought Amy Holmes got beat down pretty bad on Maher last night but I was particularly struck by what I perceived to be this conservative “bubble” of ideology she lives in.
Amy did seem to be reasonably smart. She just didn’t have a lot to work with defending the GOP. And speaking of that bubble, they’re going to be deeply shocked by the beat down coming to them on Tues. I think we’ll see all kinds of legal challenges put forward. They’ll try to swamp the legal system, anything to win by hook or crook. Just like in 04. I also bet there’ll be wing-nut riots or protests at least. We have yet to see just how crazy they can get.
Don’t you wish your state was insane like mine.
Mine’s got plenty of insane. I suppose it could use more nudists.
— Xecky, formerly SamFromUtah
A very wise Russian man once wrote, “All sane states in the Union are all alike; every insane state is insane in its own way.”
Celebrate diversity!
The disingenuous greedy fucking MEANNESS of everything Rethuglitarians represent.
I guess I’m the target, because John fucking Galt pisses me off to no fucking end, and I can count the number of pages of Atlas Shrugged I’ve read on my vaginas (zero). Sweet Invisible Pink Unicorn that fucker pisses me off.
See, Helen’s assumption here is than anyone working in food services is automagically some sort of welfare bum that needs wealth distribution. Fucking really nice Dr. “I used to be a waitress” Helen. You fucking asshole.
But still, it’s her money. If she wants to donate it to re-electing Obama instead of tipping her servers, I am more than fine with that. Just so long as that is what she actually does. Leaving a note like that is tacky, but changing your mind about it because you can’t bring yourself to helping out the Negro – that’s fraud.
P.S. I’ve been drunknig.
That’s absolutely hilarious! Imagine the bizarre universe we’d have to believe in to accept the notion of libertarians having tipped in the first place! Will wonders never cease?
As a registered Libertarian, I feel compelled to share my tipping policy.
1.) Get the bill.
2.) Take 10% of the after-tax total.
3.) Double it.
4.) Add that number to the after-tax total.
5.) Round up to the next dollar
This always results in at least a 20% tip, and often results in a tip closer to 25%. In fairness, I’m usually eating alone and pretty frugal, so I overtip as a way of compensating for the fact that I’ll never give them the same tip that a party of 4 might.
An Army of Messrs. and Drs. Missuses Perfessers Pink.
This whole “government spending tax revenue as socialism” meme is just stupid.
You work hard. You pay taxes. The government uses your taxes to build roads. Unemployed black people drive on those roads. Um, where’s the outrage?
The government uses tax revenue to support public education. Young black children of unemployed BLACK parents attend those schools free of charge. Please describe what political system this is best described by.
YOUR tax dollars go to local law enforcement. They come when an unemployed BLACK person calls 911. Wow. Wealth redistribution?
Until you idiots can make a coherent argument for government spending tax dollars for the common good of the american people, I’d really prefer you just shut the fuck up.
Thank you.
Wanna hear about dinner?
mikey
OT:
Alec Baldwin called Sarah Palin ‘Bible Spice’ on Wednesday night’s Letterman. Now’s he’s being credited by some with coining the nickname.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®©, what say you?
“P.S. I’ve been drunknig.”
Who hasn’t, at one time or another? Don’t be so hard on yourself.
mikey
Yeah, tell us about dinner
all missing the point of this
To the extent that Dr Mrs Helen’s post had a point, it was to fantasise about how she might respond to the event of her favoured candidate not winning an election, which would be to punish random strangers if she thinks they’re likely to have voted for the non-favoured candidate.
And then she’ll hold her breath until she turns blue in the face, and run away from home, and then we’ll be sorry.
I did not invent the incredibly apt label meself, although I did do my best to spread the Word. I suspect I first saw it in comments at Wonkette. A long time ago.
I grabbed these stills of Amy Holmes from her appearance on Real Time last night. She’s every bit as loony as Michelle Malkin in the way she expresses herself.
Imagine I walk past a homeless guy on my way to a restaurant….
That’s a given… then what?
‘Bible Spice’
*** MUST CREDIT TBOGG ***
Wanna hear about dinner?
After the discussion of ‘special white sauce’ and so forth, I can see why Mikey prefers to cook his own meals.
Stealing a server’s labor is teh funniest thing! Get it? Hahaha.
All I know is, my whole professional life I’ve been paid nice salaries plus benefits to sit on my ass in comfortable ergonomically-correct chairs in air-conditioned offices while doing nothing more strenuous than correcting writers’ grammar and syntax or coming up with ideas to serve as fodder for advertising vehicles known as magazines. Meanwhile, other women my age earn minimum wage plus tips to be on their feet for at least 8 hours at a stretch schlepping huge trays of disgusting food to overweight obnoxious people while enduring their inexplicably condescending attitudes and cheapskate habits. Multiply this scenario exponentially and then get back to me on why a little fairness (i.e., “wealth sharing/redistribution”) is somehow an unreasonable way for humans to order the way they live.
I suspect I first saw it in comments at Wonkette. A long time ago.
I thought TBogg made it up.
…like Clyde pointed out. duh.
booger/teh Troof, imagine a scheme wherein public funds are transferred directly to loyal shrublicans.
Imagine a regime whose sole claim to fame consists of taking the country down the toilet while making their own little crowd of liars/cowards/felons richer.
Imagine how bad the rethugs are going to get thumped on Tuesday.
And keep coming back to get called on your dishonesty.
Don’t be so hard on yourself.
Oh I was just trying to explain why John “thin skinned pansy with no moral compass what-so-fucking-evar” Galt pisses me off so much. But then again I suspect that I’d be this pissed off even stone-cold sober, although this is drunk D-KW saying that so who knows.
Hey you know who else benefits from “redistribution of wealth”? A lotta people that the ICRC helps out. Here’s an idea for Helen, she should write to the Red Cross and tell them that she’s not fucking giving them one red cent, but is instead donating to the Re-elect Obama Fund. Then she should send a copy of the letter to her local newspaper.
Could be Tbogg, I just know it was a ways back. Wonkette is where I noticed it, and thought *win*.
It’s that stupid time of year where its dark and rainy, and sure, it LOOKS like winter, but sorry! Fooled YOU! It’s seventy eight degrees. You want to bundle up, put a fire in the fireplace and cook comfort food, but instead you open all the windows and doors and relish the smell of the rain and the moan of the wind, in shorts and tee shirt.
Weird.
So. You want to do something rainy, but you can’t get overly funky with the oven, ’cause it’s plenty warm enough round here. Time for mikey’s chicken pot pie.
The other night I made my patented “Winner, Winner, Chicken Dinner”, so I’ve got some leftover yummy chicken (yeah, in mikey world it’s got skin on it, crispy with herbs and shit) so we’ll be making my favorite chicken pot pie tonight.
It’s pretty simple. Make a roux. Give it the onions and garlic. Let it come together and pour in the chicken, vegetables (carrots and celery) and sliced mushrooms. Hit it with thyme, sage and oregano. A little white wine is good at this point. Line a big double handled soup bowl with store-bought pie crust and trim it off. Pour in the shit, lay another piece of crust over the top, crimp it and pierce it and toss it in the oven at 400 for a while.
When it’s yummy, eat it.
mikey
I’m confused–are the repubs saying that giving tax cuts to the working families who earn less than 250k a year is “redistributing the wealth”? Are they actually saying tax cuts are akin to socialism?
What about those “economy stimulating tax rebates” bush handed out like flowers? Where did that money come from? Wasn’t that redistributing the wealth, too?
Dragon-King Wangchuck: Rest assured my brother, you are not the only individual who is drinking copiously this Saturday night that is a mere three days away from the most historic election in US history and, uncoincidentally, the godalmighty at long fucking last final end to our long long long long fucking goddam long fucking national nightmare.
Here’s an idea for Helen, she should write to the Red Cross and tell them that she’s not fucking giving them one red cent, but is instead donating to the Re-elect Obama Fund.
The Onion beat her to it.
Truth:
Seriously. You’re telling me you’re dumb enough to not understand the difference between taxing someone that makes over $250,000 a year a bit more and stiffing a minimum-wage earning waiter?
Really?
You’re really that stupid?
No wonder your movement is in such bad shape.
Jody, Mr. Truth still lives in his mom’s basement. He hasn’t yet had to pay a hydro, telephone, rent, or mortgage bill. He doesn’t shop for the groceries, and the most he does is take the garbage out when mom reminds him.
mikey-
good thing it’s long past dinner time here (shrimp creole) – I’ll just savour the thought of your pot-pie – goes with my shiraz/tune-picking/ignoring the “Truth”
are the repubs saying that giving tax cuts to the working families who earn less than 250k a year is “redistributing the wealth”? Are they actually saying tax cuts are akin to socialism?
I think so. At this point they’re saying anything, no matter how idiotic. It’s the panic mode of a cornered rat.
And I’m about to make a hypocrite out of myself, please don’t pound me too hard.
But if any of you aren’t watching the Texas/Texas Tech game, you’re missing something that might just turn out to be special.
I know, college football and all.
But just check it out, ok?
mikey
Rest assured my brother, you are not the only individual who is drinking copiously this Saturday night
This is just circumstantial evidence but Nate Silver’s most recent post contains the following:
PS While we’re all commenting about dinner, I had moussaka and ceasar salad and it was fan-fucking-tastic.
But if any of you aren’t watching the Texas/Texas Tech game, you’re missing something that might just turn out to be special.
Let me guess: a mule placekicker.
Wait: flubber.
are the repubs saying that giving tax cuts to the working families who earn less than 250k a year is “redistributing the wealth”? Are they actually saying tax cuts are akin to socialism?
At least the liberal media dumped all over this notion with a deafening roar of scorn and ridicule to the extent that the McCain campaign and their surrogates were cowering in shame.
Oh, wait…
The Truth is if the majority votes for socialist wealth distribution, taste the democracy, Little Orphant Aynnie.
Helen got some shit for “her idea” from conservatives who are poor and is now backtracking.
http://drhelen.blogspot.com/2008/11/more-on-tipping.html
I hope these folks realize that a vote for McCain is a vote for Helen’s ideas. This McCain isn’t the the pre-campaign McCain. He’s sold out to the Helens.
Sarah Palin’s Solemn Robiola Lombardia Cheese Ragout
Ingredients:
1 antelope, grilled
1 robiola Lombardia cheese
1 variable bean, toasted
7 jiggers unprincipled chimpanzee toe
1 stick thyme
1 jigger cocoa
Pick over the ingredients caustically and discard excess zinc. Separate antelope heart from brain. Consume brain. Use a food processor to mix the bean with the robiola Lombardia cheese. Sprinkle resulting mixture over the antelope. Pepper – very foggily – the chimpanzee toe, thyme, and the cocoa. Pile the latter combination on to the former. Leave raw. Serves 5 deep individuals with dying stomachs.
Spicy roasted free-range chicken leg with a butternut squash risotto and spinach salad.
No booze in the house, though. There’s some bad planning.
Don’t vote for me.
the point of this, which is not to stiff waitstaff
Stiffing waitstaff is just an added bonus.
Now you’re just pissing me off…
How do you give a tax cut to someone who doesn’t pay taxes?
…..
…well? Oh!! It’s one of those rhetorical questions!!!
Helen got some shit for “her idea” from conservatives who are poor and is now backtracking.
Wheeee!!! Dr. Helen, the fucking douchebag:
Fuck You Helen, you fucking prejudiced prick. Hey, 97% of African-Americans support Obama, so maybe you should stiff all of your black servers you stupid bitch.
I actually agree with The Truth! No, really, I honestly do. Look at it this way; according to Trickle Down Economics, not only could the customer reward the waiter for his work, but it’s absolutely essential that the money does trickle to those who are productive, and not to those who are lazy and beg. But wait, in our example the Republican diner actually goes and gives it’s money to the homeless man instead… why this is a violation of the entire basis of the American economy! This is a form of monetary treason! And if we can’t trust even Republicans to spend their money correctly on the hard working, we need to encourage the correct moral behaviour some other way, don’t we?
But how can we ensure the waiter actually get’s the money, and not the shiftless and idle? Well, what you could do is allow restaurants to charge what ever the market will bear for their food, but instead of getting the staff to rely upon the dubious moral choices of their customers, force the restaurants in turn to pay what we can call a “National Minimum Wage” to their staff. That way even if our anti-American bum goes out and gives money to the scroungers outside, the honest citizen still gets a reasonable income, because it’ll be paid from the collected takings of the restaurant and it’s toil…
But there’s more! That homeless person is only going to go spend his dollar on crack and hookers and all the things society disapproves of. Money spent in sin! So how can we ensure that the next stage of that dollar-note’s journey is spent in good Reagan-style ways. Well, what we could do is grab as many of those dollars as we can in taxation and thus spend them in patriotic ways… into let’s say a National Health Service, because all hard working Americans should be guaranteed health care as a reward. They won’t get it if all the hobos are running off with your dollars though. We could also spend them on supporting the Military which, as we all know if they are left to their immoral ways, many people would choose not to donate too. We could use it to fund the Police whom will turn up in their shiny new squad cars and drag that smelly bum from outside the restaurant, so he can no longer tempt those easily turned communist diner-scum.
Yes indeed… I have to say, I reallly DO agree with The Truth for once! Obviously we really CANT let people refuse to tip waiters and just throw their money about willy-nilly!
How do you give a tax cut to someone who doesn’t pay taxes?
Payroll taxes. Any other tough kweschuns Troofy?
Black servers are paid?
I’m so tired of The Lies. Wednesday morning can’t come soon enough.
FYWP!
Anyways, while my brilliant post languishes in limbo – Troofy, your answer is payroll taxes.
Veggie spring roll and stir-fry bean curd, spinach, cucumber and peanut sauce salad at my favorite Thai joint.
mikey, back in the day I used to make chicken pot pie totally from scratch. It took like two days. I’d simmer the hens with fresh dill, chopped onion and garlic cloves. Then I’d pull the cooled meat from the bones, give the gizzards and such to the cats, then roll out my own double pastry. Sauté peas, fresh cubed carrots and baby onions, then add to a creamy thick roux made with the fat-skimmed chicken stock, butter and half-and-half. Then serve to kids who whined cuz they wanted Happy Meals and then to a spouse who was late getting home.
When you realize that the waiter story isn’t a call to action but rather a little parable to help you understand what Obama’s proposing…
It’s good to have help understanding this stuff because nobody’s ever fiddled with taxation rates ever before noway nohow.
FYWP X 2.
Okay – no links this time. Troofy, the myth that half of Americans pay no income tax is only believed by idiots who don’t know what Payroll Taxes are. From way way back, like during the Primary to End All Primaries, Obama was saying that those tax cuts would come from fucking cuts to fucking Payroll Taxes. You’re stupid fucking kweschun was answered half a fucking year ago.
Magical poor peoples don’t pay sales tax, booger?
You’re naught but a raft of burning straw men.
Here’s a kwestion: Does the phrase ‘shoelimpy’ ring a bell?
Dr. Helen can eat me. The sales tax here in Tennessee is nearly 10 percent. In fact, Truthless, with its “not paying taxes” horseshit, can eat me too.
But there’s more! That homeless person is only going to go spend his dollar on crack and hookers and all the things society disapproves of.
The homeless should take lessons from Republicans.
MzNicky,
My esteem for your vegetarianism has risen in light of the chicken pot pie that you’ve forsaken. Perhaps if you had repeated your recipe with the leftovers of an organic turkey dinner, we could coax you back to the meat-eating fold.
P.S. Thai food is hot.
P.P.S. Dr. Helen can eat a big fucking bag of dicks.
If you scroll down past her blogroll, there’s a PayPal donate button, then an Amazon Honor System button to donate to her research into violent kids, then an ad, then a picture of her wearing a shirt saying:
Death
Been there. Done that.
Got the shirt.
Wow. Fuck you Helen.
Hey ther “The Tr-oaf”; you do realize that waitrons don’t set tax policy, and actually pay taxes, too. Your selfish withholding of the tip is just pansy-gutless, which is what we expect from you. If you withheld the cost of the check, you could be arrested. By withholding a customary payment, the tip, you expect to sneak out. However, if you’ve ever seen “Reservoir Dogs” where Mr. Pink withholds his dollar tip for “philosophical reasons”, you also saw the other gentlemen humiliate him until he tipped. I saw a waitress at a seafood restaurant in Florida chase custormers as they were exiting thru the lobby, loudly asking them if the food was bad or if the service was horrible, and if not, why they didn’t leave a tip. A scene not lost on the tourists waiting for a table. I will proudly humiliate any Retardlican I see leaving a note. The waitron can remain blameless.
MzNicky, I am certain it would not just be an honor, but a revelation to sit at your table.
Sauté peas, fresh cubed carrots and baby onions, then add to a creamy thick roux made with the fat-skimmed chicken stock, butter and half-and-half
Man. There’s simple good, like ham and eggs cooked over an open fire at 7am on the lakeshore just outside your tent flap.
There’s complex good, like getting something complex and delicious right, no matter how long it takes and how much effort you have to apply.
Then there’s something basic and honest, with home killed protein and all the reality and respect that goes into that, and the way you make it based on not just WHO you are, but WHERE you are.
If I have any regrets at all, and of course I do, it’s that I spent so many years high on crank and so I passed on all the chances to eat local, honest real food, prepared by people who had some insight into what that food was supposed to be.
Now I’m trying to catch up, to learn how to make food. Not packages, not recipes, not convenient or measured or evolved food, but FOOD.
And MzNicky, if I was ever to get a chance to kill and pluck and prep that chicken with you, it would be something I would treasure forever.
Don’t let them take your place in the ground away. Remember Tara? Sounds like Terra. There’s a reason for that. WHERE you are, and who you were raised by, and what you learned, and how you fed that back to the ground you stand on, THAT’S what’s important.
And that’s what I’m trying, pathetically and with so little inherent skills, to learn…
mikey
No.
I’m seriously thinking about changing my Nym to “excess zinc”.
Because any other explanation would go directly to my budding dementia, or perhaps my alcohol problem.
mikey
An extra 20 names just in case.
Great Grandpa Removable Janice
First Lieutenant DoybWillis Brasilia-Subtler
Great-Uncle Colbygoge Nielsen
General Pansy-Vennie Admirable
Jayeaeronautics Bas
Great-Uncle Szilard
Ensign Fixation Mostly-Dismemberment
Gunnery Sergeant Reconstitutedtacr Shelton
Pines Jewell
Solzoydam Outperform
Chief Petty Officer Bosseddor Chortle
Shereedir Nell-Apartments
Nurse Diseases
Mindy Nod
RaO’Dell Sheprrimdaqu
Lance Corporal Raquelred Ka
Chief Petty Officer Bestingmab Frolic
Queen Lanellemoopr Seers-Disable
Codpiece Beepraysharojuse
Master Sergeant Begilex
Dirxobdou Correctively
DR. Helen is a “forensic psychologist”? Hard to imagine her working as part of a law enforcement team.
Bible Spice crank called. From my house I can see Belgium.
So . . . she’s saying that not only do rich people not want to have to pay any taxes for the common good (Iraq et al. notwithstanding), now they no longer want to have to leave any tips for underpaid food service workers? Is that what all of this silliness has really been all about: the stingy selfishness of Republicans?
[awkward pause]
Did I really just ask that?
Mooser, she tried but couldn’t attract any living patients.
“In lieu of a tip, $_____ has been donated to the Re-Elect Obama for President Campaign. Thank you for supporting the man and the movement that are bringing America together!” — If enough people leave notes like this, I’m sure it will galvanize waitpeople everywhere in support of The One!
Actually, it might work. Just not for the reasons she think it will work.
ifthethunderdon’tgetya:
Are you still delusional? I’m not “The Truth”.
Ask Brad if we share the same IP address. He knows, he has access, and he will gladly tell you if I am a sockpuppet for “The Truth” or anyone else.
Are you still delusional? I’m not “The Truth”.
Who gives a shit.
And of course she also is in favor of the income of all other workers — investment bankers, for example, and stockbrokers — oh, and law professors, too — being in the form of tips that their customers can choose to leave . . . or not. Right?
Yeah, I have to say that I’m fairly sure goober isn’t Truth. Different styles, different sets of obsessions. Truth was here a while before goober, albeit some of the time as “Hypocritical Left.” goober was flicked on us via Ace, I think.
And in case anyone cares: eating a fajita burrito w/ black beans, grilled peppers, onions, mushrooms, cotija cheese. On the side: pickled carrots, roasted poblanos, fried onions. From a taqueria. Playing Mega Man 5 and drinking Old Crow out of the bottle. Fucking election season.
mikey: I’ve been strictly vegetarian for about seven years now, so no more chicken pot pie. Although I do a pretty good roasted tri-colored bell-pepper tart, and my from-scratch refried-bean burritos get raves.
Someone accused me in another thread of “reverse psychology” because I proclaimed that Obama will win going away.
That’s not snark, it’s my honest opinion. Obama will win. The Gallup daily has him up by ten points, for cryin’ out loud. And that’s likely voters, not registered voters.
What amazes me is how cautious many of you are.
RELAX!! It’s been a tough slog, so give your emotions a break. Sheesh.
Dragon-King Wangchuck: I don’t think anything could drag me back to flesh-eating, but I totally am in awe of vegans; I don’t know how one lives without cheese.
When their backs are to the wall, and all seems lost, these people do what comes naturally: shit on the poor. It’s all they know, it’s all they believe, it’s all they know how to do.
RELAX!! It’s been a tough slog, so give your emotions a break. Sheesh.
piss off
Where I come from, people would say that the Perfesser is withholding the tip from Dr. Helen.
If we’re exchanging recipes, here’s my special Saturday “date night” special:
A handful of pemmican, cut at an angle, so it’s fancy, into little bits. Two cups of crushed Civil Defense Saltines, thrown on top of that. One can of evaporated milk (time to start using the oldest ones in your Y2K stock), poured on the pemmican-cracker frottage. Let get soggy. Put in toaster oven on low for 2 hours. Serve with a salad of dried briars.
It never fails to impress the ladies.
I think Dr. Missus Perfesser should carry out her plan with the person who cuts, styles and perhaps colors her hair. That person probably makes a better living than a waitress or waiter. And it is so cowardly to leave a note explaining that you are breaking an implied contract to pay for the service you received according to its merits.
Yes, she needs to look her hairdresser in the eye and explain that she is donating the money she would normally give as a tip to the re-elect Obama campaign, because of the extra money she will be paying in taxes that will be spent to educate someone else’s child or to allow a family to both eat and have health care. (Although I highly doubt that she and Dr. Perfesser pull down more than $250,000 per annum.) I hope she posts a picture of herself after her next visit to said hairdresser.
But of course she’d never have the guts to say that, face to face, to a waiter or waitress or anyone else. Just like McCain couldn’t call Obama a Marxist, socialist or terrorist sympathizer face to face. What a bunch of cowards those wingnuts really are.
Now “The Tr-oaf” calls his little server-stiffing scheme a parable, that he never was serious. He’s just chickenshit.
Recipe. Now.
Uh.
Please?
Recipe. Now.
I second this
demandplea.piss off
LOL, not gonna happen.
well, at least you’re easily amused
Yes I am, ckc, and that’s why I visit here. I genuinely think Brad and Co. are witty, funny guys. I think they have some of the funniest photoshops around, especially when they spoof Pammy.
ckc(not kc) is saying what needs to be said tonite to booger/Truthless/whatever, no one cares, shut the fuck up already.
mikey: To continue: Creating wonderful food is something that I can still get into when it comes to putting on a really good dinner party for the best of friends, or (my favorite thing) concocting a to-die-for dessert from scratch for special loved ones, friends, or occasions. Otherwise, I have to say, when you’re expected to create dinner for a gourmand spouse and picky young children nearly every night of the week for 15 years, it’s not so idealized, nor fun.
Now I’m trying to catch up, to learn how to make food. Not packages, not recipes, not convenient or measured or evolved food, but FOOD.
Sounds to me like you’re doin’ it. I love it when you describe what you’re making; doesn’t matter if I’d ever do it myself or not. It’s an art form, and you obviously love it, which makes it pleasurable to me to read about.
…and I really like your hair!
Hey Rugged, someone posted this on Pandagon:
An Insider’s Look at the Art of “Rugged in Montana”
By Desmond St. Giles-Mobry, 7th Earl of Sopwith
The Players:
“Rugged in Montana” is presented as an individual internet participant, but he’s actually a composite of 18 prominent scholars and a half-dozen administrative staff members, not including myself (although I carry the title of “Chairman”, my own function is more in keeping with Public Relations rather than directing the output of the “Rugged Institute”, as we playfully call it). Our scholars are mostly retired people, who, having concluded long careers at Oxford and Cambridge, are yet seeking to stay intellectually active. Their areas of experience include cultural and social anthropology, ethnography, cross-cultural studies, human behavioral ecology, linguistics, constructed languages, metacommunicative competence and a host of relevant sub-grouped interests.
The Character:
“Rugged in Montana” was carefully constructed from the results of a decade-long study of American internet forums, Usenet and even small “bulletin board” groups. After a number of “hit-or-miss” attempts at creating forum “trolls”, it was decided that an attempt would be made to assemble a recombinant version of the Sapir-Whorf Hypothesis and the Colonial pamphleteer in the guise of a Conservative American rooted in “The Heartland”. A randomizing process gave us a character of considerable complexity, roiling in religious and psychosexual inner-dramas that leave him paranoiac, clinging to cultural bias and political symbolism, which is allowed expression via modeled Socionics.
Linguistics:
“Rugged’s” attempts to articulate that which he does not understand is the dominant paradigm of our project. A major development occurred when we were able to program software to construct flawed syntactic structures that would virtually mimic regional America averages with regards to malformed spelling, algorithms of stochastic and generative grammar, calculated reversions to Head-driven phrase structure grammar and even interpretations of bad typing errors. What gives the superficial appearance of carelessness and/or ignorance is in fact a profoundly sophisticated AI approach to “humanizing” the presentation of “Rugged” and is the product of a daunting number of man-hours.
The Play:
The scripts that the “Rugged” program runs must analyze the subject of a given post, correlate that with collected data from fringe-Right websites (which is streamed, real-time) and respond with hyperbolics that are carefully balanced to be quite subtle to some, yet eminently visible to others. As long as this is not over-played, one or two participants in a forum will be “snagged” into believing that they are being confronted (this is just a function of Optimality Theory) by a human with a deeply opposing ideology or Weltanschauung. Interactions between “Rugged” and these individuals is usually short-lived, but the result is ideally a synthesis of humor and Social Dominance Orientation (SDO) in order to better observe the perceptual psychology of the exchange.
I hope you’ve enjoyed this quick lifting of the veil on “Rugged’s” persona, it’s a rare treat for my colleagues and I to be able to briefly step into the spotlight and we appreciate it. And now, as your American traditions demand, “We return you now to the program already in progress”.
Desmond St. Giles-Mobry on 11/01 at 06:29 PM
Blah blah blahbity blah blah….etc etc
As I said, not likely, MzNicky. I’ll shut up when I’m good and ready or when Brad bans me.
…good – long, long way to go
…ready – who cares
ckc-
Dude(tte)! I made shrimp creole last night! (Prudhomme.)
Chicken pot pie people: What? No potatoes? That aside, Mikey, you make it sound downright plausible.
The kitchen is the safest, most ordered place I’ve ever been. You can fail, sure, but the consequences are less that life threatening, and success is beyond satisfying. If I’m chopping vegetables or mushrooms or protein or trying to figure out how I’m going to present this meal, I’m not dying or killing or finding some stupid way to fuck up my life and my world.
You can’t find a safer place than the kitchen.
May I never have to leave it…
mikey
I’d like to note that I’ve lived my life as a long, quiet jihad against chicken pot pie, my least favorite food. Why I dislike it, I don’t know; it’s basically soup in a pie crust, and I like both things. Regardless, chicken pot pie invariably makes me retch.
mikey and MzNicky have both almost converted me tonight, with the crucial interfering factor of my vegemetarianism. Well done.
..plus, you can ignore the recipes, and things only get BETTER!
…or occasionally (to be perfectly honest) worse
Some people should not ignore the recipe.
Roasted Bell Pepper Tart
pastry:
1 1/4 c. plain all-purpose flour
pinch of salt
6 Tb. butter
2 Tb. pitted green olives, finely chopped
3-5 Tb. cold water
filling:
1 red bell pepper
1 green bell pepper
1 yellow red pepper
2 cloves garlic, crushed
2 Tb. olive oil
1 c. grated Mozzarella cheese
2 eggs
2/3 c. milk
1 Tb. chopped fresh basil
salt and pepper
For pastry: Sieve flour and salt into a bowl. Cut in the butter in small chunks with a pastry cutter or by pulsing in a food processor until it resembles bread crumbs. Add olives and cold water, mixing gently and only until it sticks together enough to form a dough. Roll the dough out on a floured surface and use it to line a tart or flan pan. Prick it with a fork and then chill while you make the filling.
Filling: Cut the peppers in half lengthwise and remove their innards. Lay out skin-side up on a baking sheet. Mix the crushed garlic and olive oil together and brush over the peppers, then bake at 400 degrees for 20 min., or until the peppers begin to char. Remove from the oven, let cool slightly and then cut into thin slices. Arrange the slices in the bottom of the pastry and cover evenly with the mozzarella. Beat the eggs and milk and add basil, then pour over the peppers. Place the tart on a baking tray and and return to the 400-degree oven for about 20 min., or until the tart is set in the middle.
Djur,
I do a perverted version of pot pie where instead of using pie crust, I dump the filling straight into a dutch oven and drop lumps of buttermilk biscuit mix on top. Comes out a bit like stew with dumplings. Although I usually do this with leftover turkey instead of chicken.
Vegetarian version? Man that’s tough. The pleasing bits are the saltiness, fat content and the protein, but you can’t just go and substitute the meat with cashews,,,
Cheese is good. Something salty, like a Feta, crumbled into big chunks by hand. The problem will be keeping it from melting too quickly, so it would have to be added and mixed into a cold filling mix just before baking. Extra firm tofu for texture. I don’t know if that would work, but it might be worth trying.
what Obama is proposing is a direct cash payment to anyone whose income falls below a certain level, paid for by those whose income falls above it.
This is, by the way, not at all like Bush’s yearly bribe checks. Not one bit.
D-K W: That’s how I used to do chicken & dumplings for my boy (it was his favorite). Same deal, just use 2 (or 3? I forget) cups of the chicken stock and thicken with cornstarch or flour, then do the same pastry but roll it out and cut it with a pizza cutter into strips. Dump the meat into the boiling stock, lay the dough on top, cover and cook for about 15 min. or so.
As for the tip idea, I think it’s a great – provided you aren’t just being a total shit and don’t actually donate the money to a Re-elect Obama campaign, because otherwise – you would be afucking liar as well as a skinflint.
You expect the sorts of people who’d do this to NOT be total shits?
No, you usually can’t substitute cashews for meat in stews etc., but you can sauté, for ex., portobello mushrooms, onions, and/or carrots to give heft to otherwise meatless comfort-type foods.
Extra firm tofu for texture. I don’t know if that would work, but it might be worth trying.
Oh, it works if you prepare it right. Not many people know about freezing tofu slices. Cut a block into 3/4″ slabs, lay them out on a small cookie sheet without overlapping and put them in the freezer for a couple of days.
When you take them out, put them in the microwave for a couple of minutes to thaw them. Then run them under water, taking one in each hand and squeezing them gently together. The become a bit like sponges, and you squeeze all of the water out of them.
Your new “sponge tofu” will now soak up any liquid flavorings you care to add and have a decidedly firmer, nay “meatier” texture to them. I’ve served these to people who HATE tofu and they can’t get enough of it. It’s a completely different animal, so to speak.
I’d LOVE to do Chicken and Dumplings.
I just keep struggling to understand what it actually IS.
Is it stew? Soup? What is the poached chicken boiling liquid?
I could make dumpling – type things, in fact I could flat get wacky with them, carrots and potato flour and whatever.
But what IS that stuff that it goes in? I may be somewhat helpless, but I need to understand what it is I’m making first.
Doesn’t seem to be too much to ask…
mikey
I think we should roll back taxes to the rates that were in place during the Republican Eisenhower administration.
The Bush stimulus idea was originally proposed by Senator Bernie Sanders – an Independent and – gasp – a socialist.
I’d like to substitue cashews for just about everything,,,
Biscuit mix is easy, you can get it out of a box if you’re uncomfortable with cookeries, but starting from scratch is a delightful pleasure. It’s easier than pie pastry since there’s no resting period or kneading – and since it’s just going to be lumps floating in gooey-tasty-pot pie filling, it don’t need to be perfect.
What are dumplings? I like to think of then as little rolls or miniature loaves of bread that, and this is the important part, bake right in the chicken/turkey-vegetable-stock-thickener mixture. Kinda like a sandwich but with the filling on the outside.
X and dumplings = biscuits (soggyish on the bottom) over stew (?)
my understanding, from limited experience/success
the stew is the easy part, the dumplings are the hard part
…worth a try – it will be edible at least (my criterion for a good recipe)
Orange Tom: Is that how you make tofu that’s more meat-like than cheese-like, texture-wise?
I wonder if any of the wingnuts realize that this tactic is only fair if they actually send the money to Obama. Otherwise they’re just cheap pricks stiffing working people. Sort of like if Joe the Plumber fixed my toilet and promised to send his fee to McCain, but just kept it instead.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3OUN719sY4c
i produced the movie linked there. the scene we came up with for “don’t fuck with your wait staff” is about half as harsh as what would happen to dear dr. and mrs instafuckwit.
i argued hard with marketing that this scene should have been the trailer all by itself.
Properly-made seitan’s texture isn’t too far off from chicken… If you sauteed it first to get a little crisp on it, you could probably make it stand it for chicken in a pot pie. Otherwise, previously-frozen tofu’s texture is sorta meaty (but not quite). It’s chanterelle season now, so I could also see mushrooms FTW.
Tonight, dinner chez static was born out of a desperate need to rid the veggie crisper of beet greens:
Italian sausage (chicken, out of deference to my cholesterol levels; mild, out of deference to the slowly-expanding palate of my progeny), browned & crumbled w/ some onion & crushed garlic. When not quite cooked through, add 1.5 c. chicken stock to the skillet, along w/ a metric fuck-ton (or imperial – we’re not *that* elitist) of cut-up greens (beet, turnip, mustard, collard, kale… whatever). Cover and steam the greens in the sausage/broth mixture while you cook your pasta, stirring once or twice. Stir into a large bowl over some kind of shell- or ear-shaped pasta that’s barely al dente since the hot broth/greens/sausage mixture will keep cooking it. Serve with crushed red pepper flakes and shavings of the best Parmesan cheese you’re willing to spring for, along some crusty bread to sop up the stock, and a hearty red wine.
The basic protein/pasta/broth/greens template is pretty hard to fuck up.
…this tactic is only fair if …
You realize that they have a very effective filter for this concept?
I also like these wingnut “producers” talking about going John Galt. Like any of them could actual;y survive for a month cooking for themselves, mowing their own lawns, cleaning their toilets, ironing their own shirts…
Know what I’m thinking?
I’m thinking I’m a BIG fan of Phrygian Half Cadence.
Aren’t you?
mikey
mikey: Speaking of recipe templates, the ‘lumps of starchy stuff on top of tasty soupy stuff’ is also pretty universal, with lots of variations in the dumplings part of the equation, so whatever works for you is fine. Potato dumplings, ‘biscuit’ dumplings, rough-cut fresh egg noodles, matzoh balls – whatever. It’s all good.
Like any of them could actual;y survive for a month cooking for themselves, mowing their own lawns, cleaning their toilets, ironing their own shirts…
Yes, they could survive. They’re pretending to be the elite. As John McCain says, they’re all Joe the Plumber.
Yes, they could survive. They’re pretending to be the elite. As John McCain says, they’re all Joe the Plumber.
except, Joe isn’t a plumber.
yeah – go PHC! (??)
(wtf?)
…please explicate
except, Joe isn’t a plumber.
Yeah, and he doesn’t clear $250000 either. All pretense.
Of course, “Another specific, but rarer, type of half cadence is a phrygian half cadence (iv6 – V) was popular during the Baroque period. Phrygian Half Cadences only occur in minor keys, and must consist of a first inversion iv chord that resolves to a root position V or V7 chord. It refers to a common type of cadence that was used in music written in the phrygian mode, but was later frequently used to end the slow middle movement of a concerto, when the composer wished for the final movement to begin without an extended break. The second movement of Bach’s Brandenburg Concerto No. 2 is perhaps one of the shortest complete movements in the literature, and consists only of a phrygian cadence”,
but nevertheless, WTF?
Its so obvious! See, after Obama’s elected everybody will have Health insurance, so wait-perosns won’t need tips. And since the $$ for everybody’s Health Ins. comes from InstaDrHelenPutz, they have to keep the money they’d otherwise tip the waitperson with.
Despite the rude note, the wait person comes out ahead, particularly when you realize the Libertarian couple won’t dare return to the restaurant.
mikey: Chicken and dumplings is basically a chicken stew with biscuity dough-like strips cooked on top. It’s kind of like a cobbler except not dessert.
c’mon mikey – what is Phyrgian Half Cadence (apart from what it really is)? Put me out of my misery!
And would anyone care to calculate the chances that Ol’ Mrs. Professor would actually follow through and really send 20% of the check to an Obama campaign fund?
Every time she eats out she writes a check to Obama? Yeah, right.
No, even that would be yet another lie. And an excuse to stiff a waitperson.
Asshole.
Is that how you make tofu that’s more meat-like than cheese-like, texture-wise?
Absolutely. It takes a little prep work but once you taste it, you’ll want a batch in your freezer at all times.
djur — vegetarianism doesn’t have to be limiting! I’ve made really good faux chicken-pot-pie using the frozen Quorn fake chicken and a bit of no-chicken chicken broth (the kind that comes from a box). mikey’s recipe would work just fine with it — make a roux, thin it out to desired soupiness with the no-chicken broth, add the veggies and chik’n bits, and use that as your pot-pie stuffin’.
mikey — there’s a bunch of different ways to do dumplings; my mom did a tasty version by using chicken soup (she used Lipton’s dried chicken soup mix and just left out the noodles; I use chicken broth ’cause it’s less salty). I do it with canned chicken or leftovers and Jiffy baking mix — a little harder to find than Bisquick, but conveniently comes with directions for dumplings on the back of the box and it cooks up all fluffylike.
So: saute onion and garlic in a dutch oven first. Add chicken broth. Bring to a low boil, and add whatever vegetables you want (carrots, mushrooms, maybe peas if you don’t mind ’em cooked up some). Add chicken. Make a batch of dumpling dough according to the directions on the back of the box of Jiffy (double it if y’all are hungry) and when the soup in the pot comes back to a soft boil, add the dumplings by big ol’ spoonfuls.
Slap a lid on that sucker and set the timer for 15 minutes or so (again, box directions should guide you on this; I usually do 15-20 minutes). Don’t peek in there, don’t stir it — you want the dumplings to steam so they’re fluffy on the inside. They’ll be a little mushy on the outside, but some of the biscuit mix should blend in with the chicken broth to make the liquid more gravylike.
Eat the hell out of it. You *can* reheat it but I think it’s better the first go-round.
Hope this helps y’all’s kitchen quests!
Well that bitch has a screw loose. Oh, well…anything to keep up her delusionally trendoid elitist musings.
She’s s pseudo-sophistic dingbat, nothing more.
As Mikey said; the Texas/Texas Tech game. Maybe the best college football game of the entire season.
I gotta pee dammit…
Because, MzNicky, it’s “unfair” and “encourages sloth.” Let me try to explain the Truthy mindset to you:
The Invisible Hand knows all, sees all, and punishes all transgressions. Without the threat of starvation and homelessness, the great unwashed masses will be without impetus to “better themselves.”
What’s needed is for a few hundred thousand or so of them to perish on the streets in disease-ridden squalor, Darfur-style, to serve as an object lesson to the rest.
Then when they are offered jobs under injurious working conditions at subsistence wages, they’ll take it and be grateful, like they are in China.
Tweety’s sidekick covering McCain says that the GOP campaign is miffed that they haven’t been given credit for not having “played the race card” against Obama (ie. Wright).
Great – they refrained from playing the last, most despicable card in their deck full of fear-and-smear.
What do they want, a fucking cookie?
P.P.S. Dr. Helen can eat a big fucking bag of dicks.
Moreover, she can have them served by wait-staff who remember her from earlier encounters.
DR. Helen is a “forensic psychologist”? Hard to imagine her working as part of a law enforcement team.
It is my understanding that in US jurisdictions, the job description of a forensic psychologist seldom involves glamourous Cracker profiling stuff, but rather comes down to deciding whether a convicted criminal is (a) sufficiently sane to receive the full condign punishment laid down by law, or (b) is a whackjob who needs treatment. In some states, it is up to people like Dr Mrs Helen to decide whether marginally batshit cases should be executed.
I hope this cheers you up.
The wingnuts are bound and determined to have E. coli in their food supply. They’re afraid a pro-regulation Democratic administration would tighten food-safety standards, so they need a new source for their coliforms.
Note to vegetarians:
http://baconsalt.com/
These brave John and Jane Galts should at least have the balls to tell their waitstaff up front that they’re not going to tip them. After all, the redistributive taxes they’re protesting about – by kicking some low-income workers – are made eminently clear to them before they’re enacted, let alone collected.
Couldn’t be that they’re pussies, who don’t really want to live with the consequences of their actions, could it?
An asshole left me a penny once as a tip. I followed him out to the parking lot and gave it back to him. I told him I didn’t want him going broke on my account.
Please. You’re embarassing yourself, which you seem to enjoy, but you’re also not making any sense. I understand eight years of failure has demoralized you, but you’re going to have to pull yourself together. You have sixteen more years of whining ahead of you. Pace yourself.
And are you mocking my Jesus? Are you? He said rich people virtually cannot go to heaven. Are you saying he’s wrong? MY JESUS IS WRONG?!?
“Ein Reich, Ein Volk, Ayn Rand”–My friend Gary
DR. Helen is a “forensic psychologist”? Hard to imagine her working as part of a law enforcement team.
I think she only plays one on TV.
It never fails to impress the ladies.
You know ladies?
You know ladies?
Those restraining orders didn’t file themselves, you know.
Dare I explain it? Ah, why not. The patron in the story isn’t standing in for the conservatives; he’s standing in for the government, deciding who gets the money.
So I guess you are spitting in the government’s food……
We get it, failtard. Except the patron is also, in reality, a conservative, trying to teach inapt lesson that just so happens to redound to the conservative’s benefit – since they won’t actually donate to Obama. So they’re not just being cruel and greedy, they’re lying.
And, since they’re playing the role of the government, they shouldn’t mind telling the waitstaff in advance that they’re not getting a tip, and why. Because the government makes its taxation known well in advance – in fact, it’s voted on.
But of course, they’re pussies, so they won’t.
Because the government makes its taxation known well in advance – in fact, it’s voted on.
So the waiter should not only be told, he should also get a vote on whether or not it happens. And if the diner then stiffs the chosen recipient he should be jailed for tip evasion.
Truth, I’m waiting.
The scenario you described, and this silly waiter “parable,” bear no resemblance to Obama’s tax plans. They DO, however, bear a striking resemblance to Bush’s yearly tax-season bribe checks. Care to explain?
Also, I guess it needs to be pointed out that it’s typically not liberal Christians who take parables a little too literally… but you would know that, if you knew.. um.. anything.
Robert Green: Great movie.
Troofies: Drunk and stupid is still no way to go through life.
Two “ah”s–the pretentiousness is strong with this one.
So let’s see: the “patron” uses the waiter’s service but doesn’t pay him anything. Instead, he leaves a note claiming he will give the waiter’s payment to a stranger outside.
And this is a “parable” illustrating what, again? That “the government” withholds all of one’s wages and gives them to others?
Leave it to a Republican to create a self-serving fiction mocking a non-existent reality, and then pat himself on the back for his superior analytical skills.
I think this is actually a great idea. WIthin six months, no Republican could safely enter any restaurant anywhere without fear of being served up a little snotgob fettucini or a White Wine Spitter.
I’m sure not having to sit and listen to them kvetch from three tables away would actually be very refreshing for some people.
Mr. Wonderful:
This parable doesn’t really illuminate anything. It has sweet F.A. to do with Obama’s tax plan, so it’s not that. If anything, it shows that conservative humor is comprised of 1) fucking over the working class and gloating about it, and 2) being as patronizing as possible about “helping” the needy. Also, 3) totally lying.
But we already knew that about them. So, again, no illumination.
I appreciate the “You’re-missing-the-point-it’s-only-a-parable” gambit. I intend to use it next time an editor sends back a paper and complains that the evidence was incomplete or the argument was flawed.
Back when I was in college, I paid my bills by being the night manager at an Italian restaurant. We had a sort-of informal detente trade pact with the poor drunken bastards who worked over at the Chicken Unlimited … we’d give them a free mid-size pepperoni in exchange for a “crew chicken” that we’d all eat off of while working. That is, until the slow Sunday afternoon when I went up with the pizza, only to find them absolutely incandescent with rage back in the kitchen.
Apparently, some fundie Christian group was in for the Sunday Special (they were all trying to order off the children’s menu, despite the fact that they were all motoring around in Cadillacs). Some repressed Tom Delay-alike took it upon himself to lecture one of the waitresses that maybe she could attract a good and Christian man if she stopped painting herself like a whore.
The kitchen guys were hocking loogies into the mashed potatoes and using the toilet brush to stir the gravy. You don’t wanna know where the drumsticks went.
So yeah, angry Republicans. Take out your petulant rage over your impending loss of prestige and influence on the common working stiffs who keep your world running.
What could go wrong with that?
“Dr.” Helen is cheap, mean, and stupid. And a hypocrite, considering her husband is a fucking state employee and thus would not have a salary if some wealth weren’t being redistributed to him.
In “Nickel and Dimed,” Barbara Ehrenreich worked as a waitress. She said she learned to dread the loudly and ostentatiously pious because they were the cheapest bunch, consistently. One guy with a WWJD? pin left her one stinking dollar for serving a party of ten with a bill of more than $100.
The real punchline will occur tomorrow evening, Truth. Enjoy it.