Hey kids, this is Brad of BradBlog 3000, filling in for Seb while he’s doing dork work-related program activities.
Since this site is frequented by right-wing heavyweights like David Frum and Jonah Goldberg, Seb told me to keep it clean- ergo, my original post (entitled “The History of Conservative Vaginas, from Queen Victoria to Sean Hannity”) had to be spiked.
So in Seb’s honor, I’ve decided to review a column from his all-time favorite website, The Rant!
This week’s Rant comes from editor-in-chief Frank Salvato, who’s pissed that the media aren’t reporting the stuff they’re reporting:

An incredibly huge event took place recently in Hillah, Iraq. Just one day after terrorists detonated a massive car bomb killing at least 125 Iraqis, who were lined up to take physicals in an effort to gain employment with the local police force, thousands of Hillah residents took to the streets in protest. They weren’t protesting against the “American occupation” and they weren’t protesting against the “aggression of the West.” They weren’t protesting the treatment of terrorists being detained at Abu Ghraib. They were protesting against those who committed murder against their people. They were protesting against terrorism, Baathism and Wahhabism…
Yet there was but a whisper of this monumental event in the mainstream media.

Raise your hands if you heard about this story in the mainstream media.
Yeah, so did I. To paraphrase the Digital Underground: “Frank Salvato’s like MC Hammer on crack, Humpty!”

There was nothing printed about it in the New York Times.

That’s actually true. I offer two explanations:
1.) The quality of The Times’ Iraqi coverage has declined since Judith Miller’s legal troubles began (not likely)
2.) The Times is out to piss Frank off (more likely)

The story was absent from the online pages of CNN…

OK, everyone, all together now, just like Seb’d want us to… “Sadly, No!”

…MSNBC…

Once again: “Sadly, No!”

…USA Today…

OK, this time in French: “Malheureusement, Non!” (though I admit USA Today didn’t give the protest much attention, but what do you expect- they’re USA Today…)

…CBS…

In Spanish now: “Tristamente, No!”

…and even FOX News.

I don’t know how much more “Sadly, No!” this guy can take, but he’s moving into Trying to Grok territory.

The only mainstream outlet to cover the story ? a story that faded quicker than William Hung?s singing career ? was the Associated Press (AP). To be fair, ABC, a few mid-tier newspapers and Salon.com picked up the AP story but in order to read it in its entirety on Salon.com you had to be a premium member.

Yeah, Salon.com tried to hide the story from the American public behind the evil guise of premium mem… ooop, wait, that’s a big “Sadly, No!” too.
I gotta give Frank points for tenacity, though- he takes his punishment and just keeps comin’ back for more.