Please, for the sake of the children, stop reading right wing blogs. I can’t sleep. I can’t go outside. I’m afraid of everything. I have to have my coca-cola delivered.

Being a Pepsi drinker, I support Obama’s anti-Coca Cola views. Those kids should be putting Pepsi on their Lucky Charms each and every morning!

Wow and here I just finished arguing with a conservative about Obama’s comment about “punishing our daughters with a baby” remark.

At least when conservatives get their panties in a wad over nothing we can mock them mercilessly. That’s the fun part. 🙂

I want to see this experiment where TIDOSY snorts an entire 2L of Coca-Cola.

Coke and WordPress, an new axis of evil…

Derp!
an = a

Those kids should be putting Pepsi on their Lucky Charms each and every morning!

They’re not “those kids” Lucky Charms: they’re mine! Mine! Mine! Mine!

…Always after me Lucky Charms!

Jaysus!

Cornfederate Wankee is busy clutching his pearls this morning:

In less than a month, Sarah Palin has gone from the well-liked governor of a remote state to the most slurred and slandered politician in America today.
….
For all his eloquence behind a teleprompter, Barack Obama is still at heart a thug, and his disciples learned well from their master.

Let’s all sing the right-wing fight song, my friends:

We are the victims
We are the victims…

John McCain weighed in:

“I see nothing wrong with a little bib-label lithiated soda or some nice saspirilla for the young tykes, though I do plan on introducing legislation to help decrease littering from those who carelessly toss away their soda can pull tabs. Why, I remember stepping on a pull tab one day at the beach and… hey, is that Jose Luis Rodriguez Zapatero?!! Man, I hate that guy!”

Those kids should be putting Pepsi on their Lucky Charms each and every morning!

Hell, when McSame becomes President and we start drilling in everyone’s back yard, gas’ll become cheap enough that they can pour IT on their cereal! Wheee!

“Marge, the dog’s drinking unleaded from now on!”

(and, yes, I recall a Bloom County cartoon along the same lines. If you’re going to steal, steal from the classics!)

For all his eloquence behind a teleprompter, Barack Obama is still at heart a thug

I’m quite certain that TiDOS Yankee had no intentions of sending any dog-whistles with this particular charge and word choice. I’m also certain that McCain is a maverick and principled, Sarah Palin is deeply serious about governance and leprechaun’s are real.

My one question is do they really believe that Obama is going to pimp out the Presidential limo or are they just a bunch of fear mongering liars?

I don’t think the MSM has picked it up yet,but according to Ace,the guy who broke into Palin’s email is a college kid from TN. His dad is a state rep or senator from TN,a Dem. Yay. Just great.

“In less than a month, Sarah Palin has gone from the well-liked governor of a remote state to the most slurred and slandered politician in America today.”

Funny what even the most rudimentary investigation and vetting will do to ya.

I actually put coke on Apple Jacks a few times, when we were out of milk. I’m just saying.

Pop helped us to win World War II.

It’s common knowledge that one of the reasons we gave the Japs and the Krauts such a spanking is the widespread use of Coca-Cola by our brave fighting men. Coca-Cola became an icon of that war and symbolized one thing and one thing only: We Are From the Greatest Country in the History of Civilization and We Are Going to Kick Your Ass! How do you think our troops would’ve fared on D-Day if they were fed a steady diet of wheatgrass juice and Vegan Goat Cheese Pizza? Madeline Albright has a better chance of winning a Wet T-Shirt contest. Pop helped make this country #1. All over the world people are drinking Coke and liking it. What the DemLibs want us to do is retreat with our veggie dips and banana cantalope smoothies and watch as the rest of the Coca-Cola drinking and Whopper-inhaling countries grow stronger while our kids sit on their asses learning about oral and anal sex and whatever else the DemLibs see fit to teach them instead of arithmetic and math. So you want your sons and daughters to grow up to become strong fathers and good mothers? Don’t worry they will–as the egg and sperm donors for Ellen Degeneres and Melissa Etheridge’s next love child in the Islamofascist People’s Republic of the United States of America.

http://calalallava.blogspot.com/2006/10/enjoy-that-bottle-of-mountain-dew.html

Pop helped us to win World War II.

It’s common knowledge that one of the reasons we gave the Japs and the Krauts such a spanking is the widespread use of Coca-Cola by our brave fighting men. Coca-Cola became an icon of that war and symbolized one thing and one thing only: We Are From the Greatest Country in the History of Civilization and We Are Going to Kick Your Ass! How do you think our troops would’ve fared on D-Day if they were fed a steady diet of wheatgrass juice and Vegan Goat Cheese Pizza? Madeline Albright has a better chance of winning a Wet T-Shirt contest. Pop helped make this country #1. All over the world people are drinking Coke and liking it. What the DemLibs want us to do is retreat with our veggie dips and banana cantalope smoothies and watch as the rest of the Coca-Cola drinking and Whopper-inhaling countries grow stronger while our kids sit on their asses learning about oral and anal sex and whatever else the DemLibs see fit to teach them instead of arithmetic and math. So you want your sons and daughters to grow up to become strong fathers and good mothers? Don’t worry they will–as the egg and sperm donors for Ellen Degeneres and Melissa Etheridge’s next love child in the Islamofascist People’s Republic of the United States of America.

I actually put coke on Apple Jacks a few times, when we were out of milk. I’m just saying.

Oh wow. Just thinking about that makes my teeth hurt.

Actually, that pretty much comes close as to how formulaic these fools are. I bet we could come up with some sort of equation or something and test it against any one of the million poutrages they’ve had. Like:

Poutrage =(Liberal)(Color)(sensible position squared)(Wingnut Constant)

Where the Wingnut Constant is 11.287, because their dials are broken, and their level of wingnuttiness is never less than 10.

Think of it: your dreams are actually less surreal than reality.

OT but I feel I gotta share this;

My father is very ill. He has been on dialysis for a couple of years, his heart is pumping at 30% capacity, he has had 3 “mini” strokes in the last month and he spends most of the day disoriented. Yesterday, he suffered a siezure and was brought to the ER While there, the Dr asked him who my mother was and he said, “My wife.” But he couldn’t remember her name. When the Dr. asked him who the President was he said, “George Bush and he’s a fucking criminal. I hate that son-of-a-bitch, I hope he rots in hell.” The Dr. responded, “Well, he’s certainly becoming more lucid.” My father thought he was talking about Bush and said, “No he’s not, he’s a fucking moron!”

It was a moment of humor during a sad time but it was really funny.

Last night I dreamt that our federal government had just siezed control of Freddie Mac, Fannie Mae, and A.I.G. all within a week or so. When I woke up hyperventialting, I giggled at the absurdity of such a notion, but then I realized it was true so I wet my bed.

The end.

Silly Brad. Next you’ll have a dream that the fReichtards hate Obama because he wants to teach kiddies how to spot child molesters.

I bet that Spanish guy St. McCain hates – you know, the one in Central America – ALSO opposes drinking Coke for breakfast.

I don’t think the MSM has picked it up yet

This was reported all across our state, at any rate, yesterday. Check out the end of the Sherlock Hoft thread below for details.

…but according to Ace

I’m going to let this stand on its own.

the guy who broke into Palin’s email is a college kid from TN.

Allegedly. Please, people. At this point there are only Internetual rumors that this student at UT-Knoxville may have been the hacker. Nothing solid has been turned up yet. Maybe he is, maybe he isn’t. He’s a kid.

His dad is a state rep or senator from TN, a Dem.

He is a state representative, a Dem, and FWIW we can use all of those down here we can get.

I see no reason to help fan this particular wingnut fire. I don’t know Kernell or his son, so no particular dog in this fight for me. But let the investigators see what they can find, and keep in mind the whole reason this e-mail thing is even an issue is because of Governator Lipstick’s stonewalling on the troopergate scandal.

Why would this shock you? For better or worse, many on the right seem to use “character,” which mean mean anything as virtuous as John McCain’s service to our country to something as basic as some random quality that they like about a person, as a basis for voting for a candidate. Most of the time, they don’t know the candidates personally, so they assign some traits based on the actions or qualities, however dubious in nature, to this person.

TomMil: Thanks for sharing that! Sorry about your dad’s health problems. He sounds like a good ‘un.

Additional note on the OlePerf: Reynolds will slap the “GAFFE-O-MATIC” nonsense on Obama because Megan McArdle claims that a minute detail in Obama’s speech isn’t necessarily the most correct thing ever said ever. Meanwhile, McCain will show up to a rally missing his pants.

In less than a month, Sarah Palin has gone from the well-liked governor of a remote state to the most slurred and slandered politician in America today.

Heat, kitchen, etc., Mr. Wankee.

Yeah, take a week off right now.
It’s just going to get worse as we get closer to the election.

TomMil: Sorry about your dad. But what a fantastic story.

I would make fun of Brad for dreaming of wingnuts but the fact is I had a dream a few months ago that I went on a blind date and it turned out to be with the shrieking harpy. I woke up disturbed as fuck and decided to swear off the snarkosphere. Giving up making fun of wingnuts proved too difficult though (too bad they don’t make Wingerette patches or lozenges) so I quit smoking pot instead. My dreams have been less disturbing ever since.

And, TomMil I’m also sorry about your dad’s health but that story is hilarious.

Hey, TomMil – your dad sounds like a kick in the pants! So sorry about his health.

I dreamt last night I met Michelle Obama. At breakfast. She passed me the basket of muffins.

Hey, TomMil – your dad sounds like a kick in the pants! So sorry about his health.

I dreamt last night I met Michelle Obama. At breakfast. She passed me the basket of muffins.

You mean she didn’t pass them to you angrily, or throw them at you?
Awesome. Gimme a fist bump!

Brad,

Go watch a ballgame, preferably an English soccer match, and take a break.

“Well, I’m not sure whether Coke is healthy for you or not, but Obama will regret insulting the millions of Coke-drinking Americans. Heh!” And then by the next day, Howie Kurtz had devoted his entire Media Notes column to covering “Soda Gate.”

It’s totally what plants crave. Just like Brawndo, the thirst mutilator.

Closer and closer – every day.

In less than a month, Sarah Palin has gone from the well-liked governor of a remote state to the most slurred and slandered politician in America today.

Oh noes! Mean lieberals “Swift-Boated” Palin just like they did John Kerry!

If Guessing that “Wasilla high” is where Sarah Palin met her husband is hacking, then I’m a motherfucking Üßæ????????.

Apparently WordPress doesn’t understand latin.

TomMil, let me add my good wishes to you and your family. I’m sure it’s not easy but I’m glad you and your dad are keeping your sense of humor.

Coke and a Pretzel – in Philly, we call that a Fishtown breakfast. Chocolate YooHoo can be substituted for Coke.

Last night, I had a dream that I woke up hungover in Texas… in the cockpit of a small plane, even though I don’t know how to fly one. I think that my subconscious was trying to tell me that I shouldn’t drink cheap lager before bed. Or maybe my liver.

Sorta related. About a week ago, I had a dream that Obama got shot. In my dream, I then woke up and asked my wife if this was true. She said it was. I then “woke” from that dream, still inside a dream, and told my wife I’d had a dream that Obama had been shot and she’d confirmed it. In this second layer of the dream, she again confirmed it. I then “woke” a third, fourth, fifth, and sixth time in this dream and asked my wife again and she again “confirmed” that this had happened.

When I actually physically awoke for real, I was beside myself with panic and ran straight to the computer to make sure it hadn’t happened. Even though I knew consciously that this time I was completely and totally awake, I didn’t trust anything or anyone who’d appeared in earlier dreams. I was exhausted all day from this nightmare and had a panicky feeling for the rest of the day.

Ugh. What a freaking nightmare that was.

Of course, now I have day-mares that McCain will win and he will get shot. I can’t tell which of these dreams is in fact more horrific.

John McCain had a dream last night, too. He woke up in a cold sweat and said to himself, “Thank goodness. It was just a dream.” Then, shortly after, he slapped his head and said, “Oh, no! I actually did pick Sarah Palin as my running mate! What have I done?”

Thanks for that story, TomMil. Best wishes to you, your family, and especially your father.

I had a dream that Bush won in 2000.

It was fucked up.

Al Gore didn’t have time to receive a Nobel, for he was too busy overseeing recovery efforts from the Y2K disaster. Bill Clinton didn’t have to throw private hissy-fits in reaction to his wife losing contests and shit. Obama didn’t have to leave his church and defend his wife’s honor from latent fascists and traitors to America. And I would not have had the pleasure of being forced into saving the ass of Wall Street dickheads that relish stealing candy from babies they’ve kicked and bilking people out of their life savings.

Oh…I also had a dream I fucked a big titty Martian bitch.

The Dr. responded, “Well, he’s certainly becoming more lucid.” My father thought he was talking about Bush and said, “No he’s not, he’s a fucking moron!”

Awesome. Good luck.

When you gaze into the ass-clown, the ass-clown also gazes into you.

So, yeah, sounds like somebody needs to take a time-out.

Incontinent Yanker, Smashelle Hulkin, et al will likely still be doing their “Horst Wessel Remix Of Boy’s Town” schtick when you return. Hoo-hah, indeed.

I dreamed a werewolf was drinking pina coladas at Trader Vic’s.

Hilarity on a Friday: Political beliefs hardwired in our DNA, study suggests; Conservatives tend to blink much more than liberals.
http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1842523,00.html

Highlights:

The researchers, whose findings were published Friday in the journal Science, looked at 46 people who fell into two camps — liberals who supported foreign aid, immigration, pacifism and gun control; and conservatives who advocated defence spending, capital punishment, patriotism and the Iraq war.

In an initial experiment, subjects were shown a series of images that included a bloody face, maggots in a wound and a spider on a frightened face. A device measured the electrical conductance of their skin, a physiological reaction that indicates fear.

In a second experiment, researchers measured eye blinks — another indicator of fear — as subjects responded to sudden blasts of noise.

Compared to staunch liberals, people with strongly conservative views were three times more fearful after factoring out the effects of gender, age, income and education, all of which can affect political attitudes.

None of this, however, suggests that people are slaves to their biology, researchers agree.

The latest study “does not mean that people can’t sit down and think about the issues and come to some logical compromise,” Smith said. “What it does mean is that it is going to be hard work.”

TiDoS Yankee is amazed that people will change their opinion as they learn more facts about the situation.

Yankee, not everyone is a Republican…

You pretty much wrote a Mad Libs for every right-wing jihad du jour. Keep this one on file.

I was talking to someone in a bar last night who was pissing and moaning about Obama “stealin’ his money with higher taxes”. Mon Dieu! Read the fucking headlines! George Bush says “the taxpayer” will bail out these greedy Wall Street assholes, who do you think he means? And the person says with a straight face, “he didn’t want to bail them out, but the Democratic Congress does to make up for Bill Clinton deregulating Wall Street back in the 90’s”. Wow. There is something denser than a Neutron Star. $3trillion for a war. How much for these bailouts? Who is doing this ‘stealing’? Obama. The Democrats. Congress.
We deserve our fate of drinking Brawndo and ‘batin….

Compared to staunch liberals, people with strongly conservative views were three times more fearful after factoring out the effects of gender, age, income and education, all of which can affect political attitudes.

Arr! Lily-livered craven dogs! I say we make the lot of ’em walk the plank. Har-harrrrgh!

TomMil, sorry to hear you’re dad’s going through so much. And thanks for sharing that story.

None of this, however, suggests that people are slaves to their biology, researchers agree.

Well, this doesn’t have to be DNA. It can be a trained response.

How many winger biographies feature an iron-fisted father, just like the advice for child-rearing given by James Dobson, the dachshund beater? Just the other day, I saw one of those Democratic/Republican matchups on television, and in response to some comment by the Democrat, the Republican’s response began with, “Hey, I got the belt…”

With this starting point, we add the more orthodox and coercive religions, which tend to emphasize the punishments savored by their angry god, and top it with their well-known difficulty in getting from point A to point B, logically, and the world becomes a very frightening place.

None of which excuses them from adding to it. But I have to admire the way the Republicans know their base. “Fear fear fear…resentment…fear fear fear…resentment…and look… there’s an enemy!”

Perhaps some prominent liberal should publicly come out against sticking forks in power outlets.

Sighhhh. Sticking forks in power outlets is a very, very bad idea. And don’t get me started on pulling out your own eyes with your bare hands. That is not smart at all. Sighhhh.

I swear I am not making this up. In fact, I almost mentioned it before but felt it was kinda weird so didn’t. (I know, I know, when has that ever stopped me?) But now that the door has been opened, I’ll tell the dream I had the other night:

I was in some big convention center and that Sarah Palin’s posse of really scary hockey moms was pursuing me through the twisting concrete halls around the perimeter. I suppose in some dreams this might be sort of hawt in an S&M kind of way, but there was nothing sexy about this at all. It was terrifying, like having the Nazis after you. I darted through a door and ran around a metal railing and hid in a sub-basement sort of depression under an overhang. After a brief moment, the door opened and they came in, five or six of them. They knew I was in there, and were pretending they didn’t, in a tormenting kind of way. Suddenly, one leaned over and grabbed my arm. I awoke then, heart pounding and drenched in sweat. I actually had to get up and take a diphenhydramine to get back to sleep.

Give it a week Brad, there’s time yet to prove you a clairvoyant.

TomMil- great story and hang in there my friend.

Um. I don’t dream about politicians. I don’t think I ever have. I hope this doesn’t mean I have to read more right-wing blogs because I really wouldn’t like that.

It’s totally what plants crave. Just like Brawndo, the thirst mutilator.

It’s got electrolytes, muthaf**ka!

Just remember Brad, if you swear off the wing-nut sauce, they might be sad at the reduction of their site traffic.

So, y’know, win-win.

Well, when the righties succeed in banning all forms of birth control, we can always fall back on the CocaCola douche, right?