Curses! Foiled Again! (Part 2)
Previously on Sadly, No!
Here we thought all along that the rising number of teenage pregnancies was something to be concerned about. Shows what we know! It turns out to be electoral gold!
For now, we’ll just sit back and enjoy these comments relating to the pregnancy of another teenager.
O.K., while teen idol Jamie Lynn Spears, […] “takes some time for herself” and waits for her “love child” with the now ex-love, perhaps Nickelodeon could be prevailed upon to remove her from her mega-hit TV show, Zoe 101. […] But when a very visible 16 year old TV star gets pregnant, perhaps she is not a really good role model for all of those tween girls across America, who constitute the show’s audience. Perhaps consequences beyond baby showers are in order. I am not suggesting that she be whipped, or made to wear a scarlett A, or given lashes. I am, however, saying that perhaps there is some “moral turpitude” clause that might take her out of the public eye, and away from all those admiring 12 year olds who think Zoe/Jamie Lynn is cool, a TV show cooler, and all that money and freedom coolest of all.
Mike Huckabee — here is a crusade for you. Go for it. You’ll get the parent vote, the anti-Hollywood vote, and more consideration from non-Evangelical cultural conservatives. —Lisa Schiffren
I want to see Mitt re-dub the “Strong Values” commercial so he says, “Marriage must come before children… Got that, Jamie Lynn Spears?” —Jim Geraghty
But we must stop and wonder aloud: Why would such a successful girl, a rare cultural icon of seeming virtue, not want more of herself? Why wouldn’t she have the confidence and self-respect to do something other than what, supposedly, everyone else does? I’m glad she had her baby, but why did she have to get pregnant in the first place? There are other fun opportunities for a single young person, on TV or off, than to be led by her hormones — or his — into sex and pregnancy before she’s ready. […] A single person can live a full, happy, busy, fulfilling life without sex. Too many young people don’t know this, and are instead chasing a happiness that often turns into a very sad story. —K-Lo!
Jamie Lynn Spears pregnant and you know oh well, sometimes things just happen right? That shouldn’t disqualify Jamie’s mom from writing a book on parenting. I mean she’s always been a good kid right? Never missed a curfew right? So mom let’s the 19 year old boyfriend move in – its all good. Friends sometimes we need judgement in making choices as parents. —Kevin McCullough
Kevin gets bonus points for this gem:
(And if Palin was really the political pragmatist that the Kosidiots claim they simply could have provided her an abortion – and the evidence would be neatly disposed of.)
Now, we don’t belong to that particular school of thought — but is Kevin really trying to say that it’s pretty impressive (in a good sort of way), that the Palins didn’t opt to murder (since that’s what they call it) their unborn child and “neatly dispose of the evidence” (i.e. dump the fetus)? Apparently yes, because Kevin adds:
The truth is – even in the way the Palins have responded to this trial, they have again proved themselves the kind of couple that will do us proud in the Old Executive office building in Washington DC.
Well, we blame the whole thing on the Clenis:
A teenager who grew up during the Clinton presidency relates his perception, and the likely consequences, of the dichotomy between the Clinton legacy and the mainstream teaching of parental values. […] It leads to a conclusion that all too often parents prostituted those principles, turning a blind eye to the scandals while sending a confusing mixed message to their progeny. Ultimately it is the very fabric of society that has suffered. For children the waters were muddied as to right and wrong. It was a time that exposed the hypocrisy of parental guidance demonstrating compromised standards, preaching lofty goals while falling short themselves. Nothing is a bigger turn off to a kid than this “do as I say not as I do” mentality.
Look, if Bristol had stuck to doing it “Clinton style”, she wouldn’t be in all this trouble!
A single person can live a full, happy, busy, fulfilling life without sex.
Nice choice of words. FULL and FULFILLED, two concepts that are new to K-Lo’s undercarriage.
A person can live a driven, sweaty, unstoppable, thrusting life without sex! Wait, what?
Bristol was nine when Clinton left office. I was nine when LBJ lifted his beagle up by the ears, but I’ve never done that to a dog.
“A teenager who grew up during the Clinton presidency”
Let’s see… *counts on fingers* if Bristol is 17 now, that means she was only 9-ish when Teh Clenis™ left office, and presumably too young to absorb any subliminal messages of a sexual nature.
Unless, of course, her mom was too busy killing Russian moose and coating polar bears with oil to pay any attention whatsoever to her TV viewing and web-surfing habits.
AIEEEE FLOOD FLOOD FLOOD
DYING AS I LIVED (MASTURBATING INTO DOG FOOD)
So it wasn’t this Levi kid at all, but John Edwards?
Hoodathunk it?
I’ll bet you guys didn’t know that Bristol knew Bill Ayers.
Levi Johnston did have an aspirational timeline for withdrawal. Alas…
Hm, come to think of it, I grew up with Reagan in office and I’ve never given weapons to an avowed enemy in exchange for them holding on to American hostages a bit longer. And I am pretty sure I’ve never funded Latin American death squads, at least not voluntarily.
I think I did try to use “I don’t recall” to get out of answering difficult questions, but my parents quickly explained that saying you don’t remember something when you actually do is still a lie.
Well, it was only a matter of time before they blamed Clinton. I’m surprised he’s not the “father”…
>Look, if Bristol had stuck to doing it “Clinton style”, she wouldn’t be in all this trouble!
Damn straight, sockpuppet. Word to moms.
It was my campaign’s decision. Nothing to do with me.
I think that liberals need to stop bringing up the fact that abstinence-only supporter Sarah Palin’s unmarried 17-year-old daughter is pregnant, again. I mean, for the first time. Ever.
Heh. We’re winning! Read the whole…
What?
Oh, right. Palin.
(sigh)
It looks as though the youth of Alaska support drilling for gasolina.
-GSD
I loathe K-Lo, but this:
There are other fun opportunities for a single young person, on TV or off, than to be led by her hormones — or his — into sex and pregnancy before she’s ready. […] A single person can live a full, happy, busy, fulfilling life without sex.
… just makes me feel bad for her.
A single person can live a full, happy, busy, fulfilling life without sex.
She gets up every morning and repeats that to herself in the bathroom mirror over and over again.
Smut Clyde’s campaign is off the rails.
The wheels are falling off.
He’s completely under the bus.
He’s…Huh?
He’s winning?
Brilliant campaign, Clyde….
mikey
A single person can live a full, happy, busy, fulfilling life without sex.
Cookie Monster doesn’t love sex. Cookie monster loves COOKIES! NOM NOM NOM!!
“Kosidiots”?
That’s not a coinage, that’s a typo.
.
Nobody is second-guessing the decision for the 17 year old daughter to get married?
Really?
Shotgun weddings for teenagers are cool now?
This is the difference between evil Obama and wonderful, heaven-sent Sarah:
Obama’s daughters said “I love you daddy” to him on the jumbotron at the Dem convention. This didn’t help business AT ALL. Not one cent of profit was made with that silly waste of time.
Contrast that with heaven-sent Sarah’s daughters, who help keep the wheels of commerce going by buying lots of alcoholic beverages. What can be more American than alcoholic beverages, at least if it isn’t some faggy wine or something.
In summary: Sarahs’ daughters love America, capitalism, and babies; while evil Obama’s daughters waste valuable TV airtime.
A single person can live a full, happy, busy, fulfilling life without sex.
For example, you could stick your nose into other people’s lives, talk about things which you don’t understand, make snap judgements based on erroneous information, why there’s all kinds of things you could do.
You could even become an advice columnist!
Next up: You can lead a full, happy, busy, fulfilling life without grammar or spelling or punctuation!
I loathe K-Lo, but this…just makes me feel bad for her.
I know. I can’t really bear to mock her or criticize her anymore. A skilled writer could discuss the topic without writing something so obviously and pathetically self-referential, but K-Lo simply can’t do it. I’ve heard a lot of authors say that when they write a piece, they’re really aiming it at a particular person–a parent, their spouse, a teacher, whoever. I get the impression that K-Lo is always writing to herself.
I can’t imagine that Jonah, Lowry, et al. are unaware of this little problem, and I sometimes wonder why they keep her around. Part of me thinks that she was a mercy hire of some sort; part of me thinks that they simply don’t know how to get rid of her; part of me thinks that they take some comfort in having a colleague who’s more pathetic than they are. I don’t know, but I wish they’d just give her a job where she didn’t have time to write so much. It’d be less embarrassing for everyone, herself included.
It’s all Clinton’s fault? Bristol got knocked up giving Levi head?
Wow, yeah. I guess that would have a much bigger impact on a teen than (for example) growing up during a time when all sorts of bigotry was considered normal and even moral.
Hmm. Someone born in 1936 would have been 13 in 1949. What was the social climate in the US like in 1949?
I’m sure that teens generally look to 65 year old guys in Washington DC to model their sexual behavior.
I mean, it just makes sense, teens model so much else in their life-styles based on these guys….
“The Purpose-driven, sweaty, unstoppable, thrusting life”
I feel that way, and then she’ll unload something at The Korner that shows how little she cares for anyone not sharing her ethnicity/religion/sexual orientation, and I go right back to harboring disdain.
Speaking of the Korner, Jay Nerdlinger just dumped this:
Actually, Jay, it was Michigan’s inexperience that ultimately sunk them in ’92 (Duke withstood an opening athletic onslaught and shut down the Wolverine offense in the second half) and ’93 (The Webber TO). Additionally, how much of a Kool-Aid drinking yahoo to think that the two situations are comparable? The Fab Five were some of the most heavily touted prep players in college hoops history. Sarah Palin was mayor of Podunkville. To think these people consider Obama supporters delusional.
But what’s really great about this is that Michigan doesn’t have banners from either of its national championship game appearances. Why? Because of serious NCAA rules violations during that time period. Corruption. Graft. Right up the GOP alley, eh Nerdlinger?
An edit: Either of its national championship game appearances in ’92 and ’93. Michigan’s 1989 National Championship is clean.
(The Webber TO).
SHUT UP ALREADY.
Despite Mark Foley’s many attempts, they don’t.
Yeah, well, I grew up in the Kennedy era, and what it taught me was that “Cuber” is evil forever, the moon doesn’t belong to everyone (it belongs to the US), and pillbox hats should always be leopard-skin. Also, presidents should never drive around in Texas in open convertibles.
I am not suggesting that she be whipped, or made to wear a scarlett A, or given lashes.
Uh — did it ever enter anyone else’s mind that she should? Jeez.
Uh — did it ever enter anyone else’s mind that she should? Jeez.
Paging Ms. Alkon.
I’m also impressed with “scarlett” as a colour. It’s slightly deeper than rhett.
“… and that’s what always happens, too! Once you start chasing the happiness of sex you end up sad! Very, very sad! Always! So don’t even go there, ever! You’ll be missing out on a full happy busy happy fulfilling…happy…” [breaks down in racking sobs]
I know, I feel bad for her too, but she’s such a lunk-headed illiterate hatebag so I don’t feel too awful bad.
I can just see the millions of future criminals now, “But I was grew up during the Bush/Cheney Administration – I couldn’t know anything but lying and covering-up!”
Well, you gotta give them that point. I mean, look at Chelsea Clinton and her teenage pregnancy and how it completely ruined her attempts to accomplish anything in life.
Oh, wait a minute.
If, like the Fab Five, the McCain-Palin ticket comes in second place, I’ll consider it a job well done!
Why has no one brought up Jenna’s 2001 appendectomy?
Im not sure if I understand all this flag etiquette. When someone is flying double standards, which one goes at the top?
“I’m also impressed with “scarlett” as a colour. It’s slightly deeper than rhett.”
You’re steppin’ in El Cid’s territory !
Like mother, like daughter!
And to think we were one or two blow jobs away from National Health Care.
Shame really.
FYWP.
Like Mother Like Daughter. Americablog has confirmed Sarah Palin was pregnant when she eloped.
Hmmmmmmmmmmmm…
A single person can live a full, happy, busy, fulfilling life without sex.
Dear Miss Lopez,
Does the same hold true for married people? I ask because many years ago, when I was a returning ex-tortured POW, I left my wife due to an accident that left her, shall we say, inoperable in the conjugal duties area. If it turns out I didn’t need to find a younger, healthier, richer wife to be happy, busy and fulfilled, I am really going to have egg on my face.
Sincerely,
John Sidney Anonymous III
Technically, Jamie Lynn is a public figure and Bristol Palin is only a child of one, which does change the rules. The Chelsea Clinton comparisons are more apt.
Still, their comments beyond having her show pulled are repugnant.
I don’t see why liberals are giving Bristol so much trouble. Don’t they want the youth to become moral degenerates?
Technically, Jamie Lynn is a public figure and Bristol Palin is only a child of one, which does change the rules.
Not really. You’ll note that a lot of the criticism was of JLS’ mother, and not her. That puts them on par with each other.
Is this serious? After all the lecturing by the right about how teaching young people about contraception and having them tell us — the nation — about how effective abstinence only and Christian-centered learning are more effective… It’s come down to stupid libertarians barking that ‘buh buh buh wayull you dum Dimcraps, no wun sed it wud be 100 pursint perfek…’
It’s like, how, after you lobby for years against the teaching of physics in high school, and prat about instead of the morality & effectiveness of a cartoon-based method of understanding mechanical motion, and then one day…
No, this is just sad. I’m not even pretending to argue with such a vapid nimrod.
Like Mother Like Daughter. Americablog has confirmed Sarah Palin was pregnant when she eloped.
Aravosis was keeping track of Palin’s menstrual cycles and frequency of sexual congress with her partner?
That was considerate of him. Bit out of character, but considerate. /heavy sarcasm.
Not helping. Seriously.
We don’t need to do this. On a practical note, we shouldn’t do this, because it will make people hate us. I’m starting to hate us.
Smut Clyde said,
September 2, 2008 at 22:58
Im not sure if I understand all this flag etiquette. When someone is flying double standards, which one goes at the top?
Stolen!
I am not suggesting that she be whipped … or given lashes
It’s none of my business if K-Lo’s mind keeps coming back to this theme of flagellation, but it does detract from the limpid allure of her prose when she perseverates twice in one sentence.
Malfunctioning K-Lo robot…
Do not want.
I was a teen during the Ford-Carter years, yet I have a lot of gas!
wait, let me rephrase that….
Spears didn’t marry her boyfriend. From what I’ve seen that appears to make the difference. I’ve learned that when conservatives talk about the “sanctity of marriage” it actually means getting married is magic. Good to know.
Which is why such pwrful magic can’t be doled out like candy to just anyone, like them queers I mean homersexuals. We know what’s on their gay agendas, and what kind of crazy progress they’d be making with that getting gay married magic hocus pocus. I bet them gay married couples don’t have to worry about getting teenage preggers either. </dimwit>
I’m not suggesting she should be whipped, or flogged, or flagellated, or given lashes, or hit with a whip, or scourged, or roughed up a bit with a willow switch, or smacked with a riding crop, or bent over a sawhorse and caned, or bumpaddled with a cricket bat, or tied up kinbaku-bi style and tickled with an ostrich feather until she urinates uncontrollably, because fortunately I have standards, but still one can’t help but think that some sort of erotic corporal punishment is appropriate.
What Gentlewoman said at 23:48.
Yuck: Derbyshire and K-Lo both talking about sex. Although this is one delightful, snarky reminiscence, thinking about The Derb and that bloated Catho-reject in any sexual way–even them writing about sex!–is only slightly less creepy than thinking about my parents or your parents having sex. She is just really gross, and he is a total loser.
Your comments above mine are all SO Fing funny. Oftentimes I wish I could have said it as good as you guys.
Anthony said,
September 2, 2008 at 23:20
I don’t see why liberals are giving Bristol so much trouble. Don’t they want the youth to become moral degenerates?
Since you know so much about liberals, why don’t you explain it to us?
…meanwhile, in other news, the National Enquirer has a team of reporters with briefcases stuffed with cash up in Alaska sniffing around, reportedly trying to buy (wait for it) a videotape.
Gads.
Wouldn’t that fall under the category of kiddie porn? Or is there some kind of exemption for it, if it’s somehow a matter of public interest? If this tape does actually exist, it’s gonna wind up playing in continuous loops on the big projection screen at every after-hours rave club in SoHo.
Well, I for one welcome our new pregnant teenager overlords.
maybe he needs my money more than a bunch of pregnant teens a toll free number to call in my money appears upon my screen born to love volcanoes born to love volcanoes born to love volcanoes born to love volcanoes
That’s getting the larger from the smaller. Videos, literature and speakers in schools to tell youth sex game play with themselves and others. Movies depict sex recreation okay. TV sitcoms and soaps do the same. Best-selling books ditto.
Yes, the world is crazy. And getting crazier still.
So mom let’s the 19 year old boyfriend move in – its all good. Friends sometimes we need judgement in making choices as parents. –Kevin McCullough
As a sub-editor I’m painfully aware of the fact that 99.99999999% of ‘journalists’ can’t write for shit, but Jesus, is Kevvie like 12 fucking years old or something? He makes K-Lo look like Kafka.
Fucking cretin.
AIEEEE FLOOD FLOOD FLOOD
DYING AS I LIVED (MASTURBATING INTO DOG FOOD)
I don’t know what that’s all about, but I truly did hurt myself laughing at it.
The girl was born in 1991-1992, she didn’t “grow up” during the Clenis years – well, she did, but it didn’t affect her any more than Reagan’s Presidency affected mine (I was born in 1981). As in, not at all. I don’t even remember anything about Reagan or anything he did.
Even if her parents did the Two Minute Hate every time he came on TV (quite probable), I highly, highly, highly doubt she took away from that the fact that its okay to get knocked up before you get your high school diploma.