GOP: “God Damn America!”
Posted on September 2nd, 2008 by Gavin M.
Guess what Alaska-Terrorism-Treasongate has made the GOP scrub from their convention website.
No really, guess.
Above: “Country First.”
Above: “Uh, unless you want to renounce your country. Big tent here, people.”
Cf.
This can only be good news for McCain.
It’s a cliche, but all of Palin’s personal/legal problems are good news for McCain, of course.
Seriously, via The Politico:
http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0908/13062.html
Fishing permit violations. A blue-collar husband who racked up a DUI citation as a 22-year-old. An unmarried teenage daughter who is pregnant and a nasty child custody battle involving a family member.
All of this, to one degree or another, has surfaced in recent days as a result of efforts to discredit or undermine Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin. But these revelations may have the opposite effect: In one sense, they could reinforce how remarkably unremarkable she is…
It is this averageness that makes her such a politically promising running mate for John McCain — and such a dangerous opponent for Democrats. Many voters will find it easy to identify with her family’s struggles — a significant advantage in an election where the voting calculus is so unusually and intensely personal.
No, you can’t make this up.
We’re all Alaskans now!
Many voters will find it easy to identify with her family’s struggles — a significant advantage in an election where the voting calculus is so unusually and intensely personal.
I’m sure that’s what attracted them all to the Bush/Cheney ticket.
Does McCane give his acceptace speech on Thursday, and if so, who’s the fucking genius that decided he should go against the opening game of the NFL season?
And why is their pachyderm logo feature a drunk elephant?
the unremarkable Americans need a candidate too!
But these revelations may have the opposite effect: In one sense, they could reinforce how remarkably unremarkable she is…
Cuz that’s what we want as Preznit when Yawn McCain kicks….a remarkably unremarkable person to lead the most par’ful country. Yup.
Instead of giving a speech at the RNC, Sarah Palin should just projectile vomit from the podium. Because what American hasn’t projectile vomited some time or another? She’s ONE OF US!!!!1!
As sad as it may be, I do in fact think there’s a risk of a whole lot of Americans begin to identify with Palin and her family issues, particularly if the media can make it seem that Democrats, and not the media, have been harping on it.
You guys are so fired from the Obama campaign.
Of course, now that you are no longer working for it, you can do whatever you want.
In fairness to the GOP…yea, I know, why?…tonight’s theme is service.
Apparently, we’re going to find out that…did you know?…John McCain served in Vietnam and was a POW! for five and one half years, all while Sarah Palin was screwing boys for beer money in the back of her dad’s pickup.
Which is its own service, I imagine.
SaCGS. Wow, a motto that’s both awkward and cultish.
‘En Espanol’? Are they insane?!?
Um, isn’t “serving a cause greater than self” a hallmark of liberal fascism?
So the metric has gone from “someone you’d have a beer with” to “at least as fucked-up as you”? Just how deep is this barrel?
But these revelations may have the opposite effect: In one sense, they could reinforce how remarkably unremarkable she is…
Homer Simpson for Vice-President!
These folks are just upholding the great Republican tradition. U.S. Senator Roman Hruska (R-Nebraska) on Nixon Supreme Court Nominee G. Harold Carswell: “”Even if he is mediocre, there are a lot of mediocre judges and people and lawyers. They are entitled to a little representation, aren’t they, and a little chance?”
And why is their pachyderm logo feature a drunk elephant?
Yeah, I can’t believe they stuck with that mascot design. It’s the same one Gavin hilariously photoshopped heading to the men’s room.
Uh, stewardess, can we get some towels and a plunger? My wife is crowning again.
The bottom is “fucked-up even worse than you.”
Which will be where we’ll be in about… oh, two months.
“Fishing permit violations. A blue-collar husband who racked up a DUI citation as a 22-year-old. An unmarried teenage daughter who is pregnant and a nasty child custody battle involving a family member.
All of this, to one degree or another, has surfaced in recent days as a result of efforts to discredit or undermine Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin. But these revelations may have the opposite effect: In one sense, they could reinforce how remarkably unremarkable she is…
It is this averageness that makes her such a politically promising running mate for John McCain — and such a dangerous opponent for Democrats. Many voters will find it easy to identify with her family’s struggles — a significant advantage in an election where the voting calculus is so unusually and intensely personal.”
This might be the best thing ever written in the history of time.
Shorter: Most of America is redneck trailer-trash with a history of small-time graft and teenage pregnancy so they can relate.
Scintillating.
This thing has unleashed a cone of ignorance so vast it threatens our very existence.
Also, don’t you have to have at least two things to “rack up?” JW.
Cuz that’s what we want as Preznit when Yawn McCain kicks….a remarkably unremarkable person to lead the most par’ful country. Yup.
See, this is why people like you, no doubt making a barely-living wage in the middle of some of the first world’s worst labor standards – like that arugula-eating sapiens-homo Osama, need good ordinary folks like the Serious Professionals at the Politico. You know: to show you how the little guy thinks.
They have one driving their limo, you see. Needs a step-ladder to get up – and he’ll probably vote for McCain, because Obama is all ‘Buh buh buh, let’s send tall people to the Gulag Archipelago’ and McCain is all ‘Nuh-uh, let us tall Atlases shrug off this tyranny!’, and he’s a hard-working little dwarf so he’s got a big future ahead of him.
Not as big as the guys at the Politico, of course. Lord no. They’re the most ordinary guys in the country – and that’s a job that takes merit.
Remember when GOPers embraced Murph fucking Brown for having a baby without being sufficiently anchored to a man? Yeah, me either.
McCain / Palin – Reform We Can Pretend to Care About!!
That “serving a cause” bit was on McCain’s website some time ago, but I suppose the fact that it has a very Obama-esque quality is just coincidence.
Also, if you look at the schedule for Wed. & Thur., there’s no schedule yet. Are they waiting for dead bodies to float down the river before they spring into action?
So experience, We’re At War(TM), and on and on never really mattered? Even in the slightest?
Good to know. I’m going to get in my flying DeLorean and smack down any neocon who has said otherwise over the past 7 years.
If you feel like complaining about the busting of journalists, including St Amy, there is a petition from FreePress.net here.
If you feel like complaining about the pepper-spraying of flower children, um, well you could try there or you could try your local news outlet. Or nursery.
Gooble gobble gooble gobble.
Are we not men?
Now that just sucks for them- after all the money and energy they dumped in to this horseshit “COUNTRY FIRST” branding effort, they have to summarily shitcan it?
Legalize: “Remember when GOPers embraced Murph fucking Brown for having a baby without being sufficiently anchored to a man? Yeah, me either.”
And it’s a Dan Quayle reference FTW!
WordPress is run by the cops.
I bet democracy now has the linky to the petition site …
Yes, those Palins are a refreshingly unremarkable bunch, just muddling their way through a confusing modern world of rank cronyism and abuse of power to avenge perceived personal slights. Just like John Q. Public in Anytown, USA.
You know, I wonder why little people are showing up so fucking much. My hypothetical Objectivist featherweight was just the third such reference I’ve seen in the last few hours.
I don’t know if it’d exactly stick, but could we start alleging that McCain is actually two midgets in a suit and as such is not exactly eligible for the Presidency per se? Could it explain his purely opportunistic and poorly thought-out VP pick – is ‘he’ his own vice-President???
Stayin on message – after a fashion: (Via TPM)
I’m not sure that’s exactly what the new slogan means, Rick.
God, this is getting pathetic- now it’s come out that Palin lied about the already-pathetic “credential” of having been to Ireland.
So experience, We’re At War(TM), and on and on never really mattered? Even in the slightest?
These people are all in favor of George W. Bush, remember? Dude probably can’t even snort cocaine successfully.
Um, isn’t that actually because of the hurricane stuff?
Clinton war room, NYC, 2000:
Hillary: Goddamit, you aren’t pregnant yet?
Chelsea: Mom, c’mon.
Hillary: Don’t you care about this family? Don’t you care about this country?
Chelsea: But…I’m not even dating.
Hillary: Yeah, OK… look, just put on this tube top.
Chelsea: Ickers!
Hillary: Don’t you see honey, if Lazio’s wife goes into rehab it’ll be too late. We’ll fall behind in the polls and just look desperate. Maybe you could drive drunk?
Define what you mean by “hurricane stuff”.
I’m given to understand that the AIP might just be the local branch of the Republican Party, rather like local parties like the DFL in Minnesota.
Then again, I do kind of like to think of Palin as a secessionist dipwad. You know, I couldn’t really hate her before; I just thought of her as pathetic and slimy. Now I know she’s actually an avowed, open enemy of my fucking country, I’m just fine hating her, young and inexperienced or no.
I’ve been thinking, and I’m trying to imagine any of the other Rethuglican candidates naming this woman to be their running mate had they been nominated. Ghouliani? Nope. Romney? Not a chance. Huckabee? Maybe, if the spirit of the lord moved him, but I kind of doubt it. He’s lots of things but I think he’s fairly shrewd. The choice is just amazing! And it’s almost as amazing to watch all the rethug pundits desperately floundering around trying to get behind it and tell the world what a brilliant move it is. It’s an unbelievable exercise in pretzel logic. However this turns out, it’s been a fascinating thing to witness.
I can’t think of a comparable choice Obama might have made.
Hey, I wonder if maybe McCain was sure the Obama campaign was going to name Sebelius, and they thought Palin was a counter for that move? It makes a vague sort of sense.
Oh, why the hell am I trying to make sense of this.
I can’t think of a comparable choice Obama might have made.
I think to beat it he would have to nominate his own daughter, and I think she’d still do a better job.
Besides which, it’d be the most adorable Vice-President we’ve had since we lost McGovern. You might not think it to hear about him, but look at those chubby little cheeks. D’aww.
“Define what you mean by “hurricane stuff”.”
The first day of the RNC was changed to “let’s all pull together for the Gulf Coast, raise money, etc, and not party and for god’s sake stay out of the airport bathroom.” The line they used was “today we’re not Republicans, we’re Americans”.
This website change would fit in with that.
Correction: his youngest daughter and Hubert Humphrey.
I need to get more sleep.
God, this is getting pathetic- now it’s come out that Palin lied about her already-pathetic “credential” of having been to Ireland.
Go to americablog for the piece- the POS spam software isn’t letting me post a link.
SaCGS? Oops, there goes the Objectivist vote.
So what group do you think is bigger? Former Hillary supporters who will fall for Palin, or Ayn Rand fans who are actually old enough to vote?
“Today, we’re not Republicans, we’re Americans!”
But, tomorrow? Eh. We go back to being Republicans instead of Americans.
I’m given to understand that the AIP might just be the local branch of the Republican Party,
IIRC there was some kind of split among Republicans up there in the early 1990s, and the losing candidate in the Rep. primary pulled a Lieberman by joining up with AIP and running in the general election anyway, and winning.
A couple of other things: it’s really gratifying to see that the GOP decided to stick with the stoned elephant graphic. That and the presence of an en Español button indicate that they’re willing to pander to the people they’re usually trying to arrest.
I can’t think of a comparable choice Obama might have made.
Simple. John Edwards.
From Kate Klonick over at Muckracker:
This afternoon, the director of Division of Elections in Alaska, Gail Fenumiai, told TPMmuckraker that Todd Palin registered in October 1995 to the Alaska Independence Party, a radical group that advocates for Alaskan secession from the United States.
Besides a short period of a few months in 2000 when he changed his registration to undeclared, Todd Palin remained a registered member of AIP until July 2002 when he registered again as an undeclared voter.
Why does Sarah Palin’s husband hate America?
Feh, there’s no comparison — John Edwards is an experienced and well-known politician, plus his scandal, while shocking, is a pretty ordinary narrative we’ve heard a gazillion times before. Actually I kind of think he’d have made a great pick, because it would bring attention to the fact that the VP nom cheated on his sick wife and what an awful thing that was to do and how could you want someone like that as president and oh hey what, McCain did that too?
As sad as it may be, I do in fact think there’s a risk of a whole lot of Americans begin to identify with Palin and her family issues, particularly if the media can make it seem that Democrats, and not the media, have been harping on it.
The media will harp on it, the Republicans will blame the Democrats, the media will solemnly report it that way. Because SURELY, the MSM isn’t to blame.
this is part of the reason they trotted poor Bristol out like this. She’s bait.
As somebody said elsewhere, it’s nice to see that they acknowledge the fact that there’s a difference.
I was only 6 when Rock Around the Clock became a hit, but my life has never been the same since …
Damn, I always wanted to be Peter Pan.
Totally off topic, or not,
Brazil shows us how a First World Country would deal with illegal wiretapping.
Nope, not by making it retroactively legal.
Todd Palin remained a registered member of AIP until July 2002
The no fish-picker born in Texas quote gets some flesh to it.
It is this averageness that makes her such a politically promising running mate for John McCain
Copyright violation!
“A normal man for a normal world” was in fact the central idea of the not-late but still-great William Tenn’s 1951 story Null-P. I hope he is enjoying the life-irritates-art aspect.
alec: Then again, I do kind of like to think of Palin as a secessionist dipwad. You know, I couldn’t really hate her before; I just thought of her as pathetic and slimy. Now I know she’s actually an avowed, open enemy of my fucking country, I’m just fine hating her, young and inexperienced or no.
Oh, now, all she and her gang of wild-eyed Randite nut-cases propose is to cut Alaska away from the U.S.A. Insofar as Alaska is a financial burden to the productive states, this seems to me to be a generous offer. Good luck and farewell, Alaskans! Now if we can also get Texas to secede as well, just imagine what a vastly improved country this would be. Less is more!
Wow. This is officially the awesomest presidential election cycle evar.
I really can’t wait for the spin on this one.
Obviously she is just misunderestimating her tenure as honorary master of ceremonies in chief of the Wassila St. Patrick’s Day parade, where everyone is an honorary Irishman as declared by our founding fathers back in 1492.
Obviously Palin is just misunderestimating her tenure as honorary master of ceremonies in chief of the Wassila St. Patrick’s Day parade, where everyone is an honorary Irishman as declared by our founding fathers back in 1492.
I can hear the chant from all Americans as they step into the voting booth and see Palin’s name on the ticket, “Gooba gobba, one of us, one of us”.
Candy: I can’t think of a comparable choice Obama might have made.
He could have gone with Kwame Kilpatrick.
Sorry, sport, but we tried it once and we ran into a few snags.
Spotted this on the GOP convention site in the sidebar about the blog RSS feed:
All I could think was, the Republican bloggers will probably also utilize a considerable number of 2XLs and 3XLs.
The convention will utilize numerous mediums
At last! Patricia Arquette can revive her TV show!
““Define what you mean by “hurricane stuff”.”
The first day of the RNC was changed to “let’s all pull together for the Gulf Coast, raise money, etc, and not party and for god’s sake stay out of the airport bathroom.” The line they used was “today we’re not Republicans, we’re Americans”.
This website change would fit in with that.”
It was a joke, son. Referring to the Palin circus as the hurricane. A bit tangential, more so than I thought apparently.
In a slightly different world, Sarah Palin would probably be a Raelian.
Any truth to the rumor of a tape in which Todd Palin is speaking to a bunch of Inuits and he uses the term “whitey”? Larry?
The convention will utilize numerous mediums
“It’s OK, Johnny, it’s only ectoplasm.”
Candy wrote:
One weird by-product of the Palin fiasco is that it has actually stimulated the normally miserable Richard Cohen into writing some pretty good columns. His take on the Republican response to this mess:
John McCain’s selection of Palin, which I first viewed with horror, could now be seen in a different light. Based on various television interviews over the Labor Day weekend — and a careful reading of the transcripts — it is possible that this is McCain’s attempt to make fools of his fellow Republicans. He has succeeded beyond all expectations.
And it’s almost as amazing to watch all the rethug pundits desperately floundering around trying to get behind it and tell the world what a brilliant move it is.
Reminds me of that e-mail “One Day in the Life of a Dog” that goes the rounds.
Oh boy, Rudy Giuliani! My favourite!
Oh boy, Mitt Romney! My favourite!
Oh boy, Sarah Palin! My favourite!
Is this who the Politico is talking about?
http://www.gwinnettdailypost.com/ftp/multimedia/waffleweddingx/publish_to_web/
Do you really think they know what these people are thinking and what their lives are like?
I see dead political parties. They don’t know they’re dead…
“Who’s your Spirit Guide? Oh, what a coincidence. Ronald Reagan is my Spirit Guide too!”
The only comparable choice I could come up with would be if Obama pulled Biden as VP and replaced him with Kwame Kilpatrick. I think that would be about equivalent in terms of completely confirming what the opposing party’s base thinks of your judgment and motives. Of course, here in bizarro world, McCain *actually* chose Palin for VP. My mind is still boggling.
BTW, Mayor (for now at least) Kilpatrick fascinates me for being the most gangsta mayor EVAR, to the extent that he defies parody. It’s like he literally stepped out of an episode of the Boondocks. The text messaging part of the scandal is the best part of the whole thing.
BTW, Detroit has a larger population than the great state of Alaska.
See upstream, DifJake, at 22:45. Read, then imagine onomatopoetic bang-pow-swoosh effect to simulate the depths of ur pwnage.
Yep, I got pwned. The best part of *my* fantasy Obama/Kilpatrick election was when the commentators all said Obama must be going with Kilpatrick to shore up the African-American vote.
I _can_ picture Gloria Borger or someone saying that Obama has been doing well with the African American vote, but some of his recent statements about responsible parenting have raised eyebrows, so the choice of Kilpatrick helps solidify a key demographic that might otherwise defect to the McCain/Palin side because of how well they relate to Baby Mama Drama.
I didn’t even know there was such a thing as an Alaskan secession movement. Those Republicans sure love them some traitors, don’t they?
cur: “Do you really think they know what these people are thinking and what their lives are like?”
I live about 40 miles away from there and I don’t have any idea what those people’s lives are like. But I bet they have a Coke machine out on the front porch.
Well tb, they tried a minor modification, losing the “O”.
But, that didn’t focus-group too well, and Mrs. McCain was, um, annoyed.
May I humbly submit for your consideration:
CountryClubFirst.com .