Who’s pissing me off now?

According to RedState’s streiff, it’s former President Obama (because of course):

On Friday Morning, Obama Gave The Nation His Final ***** You

Presumably, it used to read “Fuck You” although there are five stars above so maybe it read “Thank You.” I certainly have little interest in finding out. But I’m still leaning towards Fuck [hehe] given the footnote to the post:

Editor’s Note: I changed the original title of this post due to language. Thank you. – Caleb

In any case — what seems to be the problem?

Officials say the Obama administration in its waning hours defied Republican opposition and quietly released $221 million to the Palestinian Authority that GOP members of Congress had been blocking. [Emphasis added]

As the AP story makes clear, the funding was approved by Congress in 2015 and 2016, but “at least” 2 GOP lawmakers:

had placed holds on it over moves the Palestinian Authority had taken to seek membership in international organizations. Congressional holds are generally respected by the executive branch but are not legally binding after funds have been allocated.

So the “Fuck You” to the nation was spending money authorized by Congress but blocked by 2 or more unhappy lawmakers. That’s because clearly nothing says “Thank You” to the nation more than lawmakers using “norms” to block funding they don’t like after it’s been approved by Congress. If only Obama had shown more bipartisanship by never doing anything opposed by Republicans, we wouldn’t be in this fucking mess!

 

Civil War: how does it work, or why does it continue to?

Good Morning friends, Romans, and Countrymen. It is the third morning on which I awake to discover that a prepubescent handed, Vulgarian Lout, has been micturating about the peoples house. Or be-scenting, if you prefer, in order to claim the place as his own. You know that the penis (tiny as it *must* be) has been exposed to the rarefied oval office air and once tumescent in its resplendence, (or is that resplendent in its tumescence) has been rubbed upon the things that others will touch, so that he will have them, be able to claim ownership in the only way a tremendously insecure billionaire who got pants-ed by a woman in a presidential election can. And I realize that I am not quite ready to….carry the Kubler Ross, ….embrace acceptance and I’m thinking that my berth on that boat might be taken.

And it is extraordinarily difficult to watch more than a minute or two of the news on the TV which seems to be working overtime to normalize this petty sham. Such that I had, as is my wont, started thinking about the history of my relatively short lifetime with regard to Presidents.

I just managed to miss Kennedy, the cellular interaction that would form the ovum that would become me was a few months away, so I was born during the Johnson Administration, who was followed by Nixon, Ford*, Carter, Reagan, Bush, Clinton, BushII* affectionately known as Dubya, Obama, and now, *RYFKM,* aka Trump, aka “areyoufuckingkiddingme?”.

So forgive me if I momentarily find it difficult to take pride in my american citizenship right now, Also forgive my leaving out a gag, that I might have for us when I find out about ‘gimp’ on chromebooks or on osX, or might flesh out for another piece, if I find enough material.

So during my life we have had Southern Democrat, California Republican, Northern Republican*(impeachment related legacy-hire)Southern Democrat, California Republican, Texas Republican, Southern Democrat, Legacy hire Texas Republican, Illinois Democrat, and now a polity unto itself GlobalCompuHyperMegaBux™(maybe) wrapped in Republican clothing. Now if you follow my somewhat biased “math” which involves the understanding that a southern Democrat is a Democrat in name only because Lincoln was a Republican, and therefore through properties of civil war related destruction of wealth and person related freedom acquisitive realities. Which means in short, that for more generations than should be necessary the South had to be Democratic because Lincoln was a Republican and took away some of their property, and the sons, daughters, Grandchildren and Great-grandchildren and on and on, have never really gotten over that Loss, and that we in the north, particularly persons of African descent have been paying dearly for that.

Shorter Gasbag: We have had Conservative governance, for my entire life. Now it could be argued that Obama represents a break from that tradition, and that is one I’d be willing to discuss, but one thing occurred to me that cringed me up right quick. Lincoln was also from Illinois…

 

 

 

Donald Trump is the new Bill Brasky (Alternative Facts Edition)

The weekend isn’t over and I’m thinking 2 things. First, it’s not gonna be enough that I returned to blogging as a hobby — I’m gonna need to quit my fucking day job. Second, holy crap, alternative facts? [Where are you, Interrobang?] All that’s missing at this point is a Bill Brasky-type skit where Trump fans staffers can recite their very own set of alternative facts about The Donald.

 

Last Man Standing

Reading about Piers Morgan’s latest tweet reminded me of an old classic: The 2003 essay “The Pussification Of The Western Male” by Kim du Toit (such memories!):

I want our literature to become more male, less female. Men shouldn’t buy “self-help” books unless the subject matter is car maintenance, golf swing improvement or how to disassemble a f***ing Browning BAR. We don’t improve ourselves, we improve our stuff.

Of course, that in turn reminded me of another “classic” — The Dickification of the Western Female:

I want our literature to become more female, less male. Women shouldn’t buy “self-help” books unless the subject matter is baking, sexual techniques that give men pleasure, or how to remove a jammed toast in a fcuking Black & Decker toaster.

Good times.

 

Quote of the Day

I couldn’t ignore this gem, from a CNN article written by Carol Swain and titled “How Donald Trump can be America’s change agent”:

There is a pressing need to recognize and acknowledge the rights of white people.

I did not see that coming. But then again, Carol’s grasp on reality is pretty weak:

Mr. Trump has already begun to made great strides with African-Americans. He is a truth speaker. Anyone who has watched him speak in town hall meetings and inner-city black churches (as I have) can see that he connects with people in those communities. He has empathy for the mothers who lose their children to crime and drugs and understands the need for better jobs and opportunities.

Apparently it’s a one-way connection.

According to this poll, Trump’s approval rating (somewhat/strongly) was 9% last week among Blacks — we’re still some distance from “great strides.”

Carol knows you save the punchline for the end:

Finally, President Trump needs the support of all Americans. We need to give him a fair opportunity to succeed or fail, like we gave Barack Obama. [Emphasis added]

(laughs)

 

Our Indulgence of Propriety Is Over (InaugurationDayEndTimesEdition!)

This morning, I awoke, several time actually, in a cold sweat happy to realize that whatever had been mare-ing my night, was gone for now and that it might take a bit of time to slip back into sleep, until a couple of hours ago, I just gave up on the process entirely and thought I’d book some thoughts while President Obama was still at the helm. This guy right here…


It took me awhile to find this one, because I wanted something real, capturing the dude in a natural smile, the kind you are happy to see when you make eye contact with a cherished friend.

The reason it took so long was because there were an abundance of images from which to choose, and I wanted a good one that was not going to require any manipulation.

This next image took a considerable amount of time to acquire for an entirely different reason, which was originally the reason for this post: It occurred to me that I could not remember the Donald having been caught off guard actually, genuinely smiling. Like a warm happy smile, not the sneering contempt associated with the “I got to give the people something now-it’s good for business” smile, or the one often accompanied by a glint in the eye suggestive of one who just dropped one of his children’s puppy’s down the garbage chute, or having one of his handlers hand a homeless person a wad of monopoly money, but a for real, live, happy to be in this particular here, at this particular time, with this particular company, smile. A laughing with someone, rather than at someone, or something, genuine, heartfelt smile. And this one was the closest that I could find, and is not bad, pretty much hits all the criteria, but the time it took to find was alarming…Now the ambiguously targeted search phrase “Smiling Donald Trump” may have been the wrong tree up which to bark, I am happy with what I did find.


Now this one caught my eye, because it is always something when you catch a real man/patriot-
American in the wild. And displaying such taste, er, style. Not to mention a message, one of serious import, which you can presume has wide appeal and be certain is not given nearly enough coverage in the Liberal Media™.

The man has point. Sort of, a point, if “Honky” can actually be considered a Racial Slur, or “Whitey”
Or Clownface Von Fuckstick™ can be so deemed, so grasping at comparative straws and finding them lacking the requisite buoyancy we catch a glimpse of this guy, whom it would appear supports a polity long since perished from the earth, or maybe proudly displays the symbols of that long lost place in the hope of running into some fellow travelers in the hope of striking up a new flame and re-assembling the old band for one last show. 
nazi much?
I’m guessing this guy thinks white people have been getting the shaft for too long, eh, bub?  Well it would appear that your time is near, and thank god, not a moment too soon. Also this right here is not only some nice work, if you are into the tattoo thing, but resolute in his desire to make a point; proudly, leaving no ambiguity with respect to his views on race relations, or whether or not there is a hierarchy regarding  them. Bottom line, this guy did not get to keep niggers as property or take a ‘bed-warmer’ whenever he pleased, or get up into a good old pogrom. There is no doubt in my mind that this guy masturbates* angrily to kitten-porn!  
*I’m wondering if “Rage-baiting” might be a thing in the DSM-5  sexual disorders column “furious masterbation with the blood of your victim as lube” 
                                                               

Happy Fucking Inauguration Day America…

 

All I wanna do is zoom-zoom-zoom-zoom and a boom-boom

Legal scholar and man whose real name is also his porn star name Hans von Spakovsky grabs into Jonah Goldberg’s Cheetos bag for a true classic: The real racists are liberals blacks people who point out racism:

There followed a steady stream of false claims that America was an inherently racist society with a biased judicial and law enforcement system. Obama rekindled a racial divide that had been steadily disappearing in American society.

You like? You ain’t seen nothing yet!

In his typical lawyerly fashion, the president skirted around the truth of cities riddled with racial tension and soaring crime rates […]

The violent crime increased in 2015 compared to 2014, yet it’s still lower than when Obama took office — indeed, it’s lower than the rate during any of Bush 43’s 8 years in office. [FBI]

We always save the best for last:

…and a foreign policy that seems to favor authoritarian regimes over our allies.

It’s so good to know that President T. is going to stick it to Germany while cozying up to Putin as of today, so order will be returned to the universe!

 

Dubya, Barack, Donald………..Profit?

Cypher on that title for a minute…Shit has gotten Real, Real, Son. Now those of you who are what one might call ‘familiar’ with me know that I am something of an up-jumped, tarted up Race-Pimp of the worse kind! First, I am a Lieberal: But because Lincoln freed the half of my posterity what was in bond-aged servitude prior to his assasination, means, in what passes for logic in Wingnuttia, that I should Be a Republican, like Jackie Robinson, because, that race traitor Lincoln was one.

While I can’t cite chapter and verse, I believe that I have actually heard this reasoning before in the wild, though current memory issues mean that a secure glimpse of what I heard or what I saw may have issued forth from the gob of Rush Limbaugh. Sue me for lack of citation, but even the most strident Rock-Ribbed Rushpublicans among you, or members of the Department of Anthropublican Studies, may have a similar recollection. And are invited to share any such memories in the comments below.

The cipher here, the big con in play being, of course, inoculation from any accusation of Racism. Lincoln was a Republican see, so Republicans can’t, by the transitive properties of Derp(checkpoint infinity, carry the one/translide with a catechized googleplex), be Racist,ever. Democraps, however will forever be saddled with a fusillade of bullshit within which will be a mention of Jefferson Davis, a fart to distract from the smoke-bomb that covers the getaway to higher ground and finished with a “See, I told you so!” (Gag shamelessly ripped from Edroso..TYVM, sir!).

Now after eight long years of bonded servitude White Folk can breathe freedoms cool fresh air, released from their chains and toil in the field, from the raping and from the lash, But now my friends, you are free, or will be in about ten hours after this is published, and likely by the time you read it.

I hope you remember us fondly, and I hope we did not treat you too poorly, and best of luck to all of us.

Sorry, but I can’t leave without saying this: This shit is going down! To Fucking Day! That was a nice little constitutional Republic we had there, so While it might be a bit late, we should get to work on some nets, working.

Interesting times, begun, they have!

 

Ouroborus. “The Normalization Continues Apace.” Ouroborus.

We have a bit under forty-eight hours before Emperor “tiny mittens” gets his hands on all up in Lady Liberties, Below the Belt Business, because he can, wink (if a dude), nudge (if a blind bat), and grab it (if a pussy).

Forgive me the vulgarity, but I still awake with sweats pondering not only the fact that the “short fingered Vulgarian” will become our President on Friday, slipping in through the back door in one of the shadiest of election outcomes in the History of the Republic, but doing so in his inimitable fashion, as if he was selected in a landslide and beloved by all of the people.

While I am not a Journalist, I am familiar with what might be considered a term of that art: “bury the lede.” And it would appear that we are in the midst of exactly that:”a failure to emphasize the most important part of a story or account.” And this, for me, at least seems unprecedented.

This is bigger than a few hanging chads in Florida, and if nothing else, I seem to remember quite well the “to-do” made of the very careful “recount” and of the baited breath that awaited the determination of every ‘hanging chad.’ Man, those were some heady times, and thank heaven above that that electoral anomaly, only gave us a couple of Humble Patriots, who ruled with grace and humility, and oversaw an abundance of peace and prosperity After fixing the disastrous mess of an economy left them by their predecessor, who had himself taken over a country in amazing economic shape left him by 12 years of prudent Republican governance experimenting with a new and amazing economic experiment, called by one side “Supply Side-economics” and by the other side “Trickle Down-economics” And as referred to by a few of my less than polite, or patriotic, friends, as the “Giant Golden Shower.”

 

First, the music on the Titanic just wasn’t that good

Charles “Chuckles” Krauthammer asks why Donald J. Trump is extremely unpopular:

For several reasons. First, the refusal of an unbending left to accept the legitimacy of Trump’s victory. It’s not just the demonstrators chanting “not my president.” It is leading Democrats pushing one line after another to delegitimize the election, as in: he lost the popular vote, it’s James Comey’s fault, the Russians did it. [Emphasis added]

Of course! Because clearly first couldn’t be reasons 2 and 3 (Trump is a major douche)… Trump’s bump, as per Quinniac, was up to 44, and he’s back to 37. It’s a really fascinating world where someone acting like a total dick ranks lower in accounting for that person’s popularity, or lack of, than leading Democrats pointing out fairly obvious things. As for the legitimacy argument, as Chuckles wrote in 2000:

This election has generated not one but two crises of legitimacy. The first arises from the real possibility that Al Gore wins the popular vote but loses the presidency.