Everything Andy says would make more sense if said
while he was wearing a pink bunny suit
Andy McCarthy, J.D., America’s Shittiest Lawyer™, America’s Shittiest Website™ Al-Qaeda, Yes; DOMA, No
More hypocrisy from the left: They insist that actual people have a defense lawyer in criminal trials but deny that right to DOMA which, you know, might be executed, thrown in jail for life or worse if it is found guilty declared unconstitutional.
Lord Andrew Throckmorton Farthington Stuttaford, the Seventh Duke of West Brixtonshire, who blogs at America’s Shittiest Website™ on climate issues thanks to the munificence of the Exxon-Mobil corporation and other purveyors of fine fossil fuels, shares with his dozen or so readers today a vile plot by the Ecuadorians to create a mandatory Earth Mother/Goddess religion that the U.N. will impose on the entire world as some sort of Green sharia law. The seeds of this plot were sown in the 2008 Ecuadorian constitution:
[H]ere, via Religion Dispatches, is a piece that discusses the ‘rights’ of the Earth, the eco-system and, well, just about everything. Yes, it’s an absurd premise, and one for which the writer clearly has some sympathy, but this extract from the new (2008) Ecuadorian constitution is still worth noting:
Nature or Pachamama, where life is reproduced and exists, has the right to exist, persist, maintain itself and regenerate its own vital cycles, structure, functions, and its evolutionary processes. Any person, people, community, or nationality, may demand the observance of the rights of the natural environment before public bodies.
This somewhat sinister drivel is [sic] presumably largely reflects the influence of the work of Ecuador’s somewhat sinister president Morales, the man who, in 2009, was declared by the president of the United Nations General Assembly, one Rev. Miguel D’Escoto Brockmann, to be a “World Hero of Mother Earth”.
Typical of the high-caliber blogging at America’s Shittiest Website™ is Lord Stuttaford’s notion that Evo Morales is the President of Ecuador. Sadly, No! Evo Morales is the President of, er, Bolivia, a country that doesn’t even border Ecuador and is more than a thousand miles away. Of course, I suppose to Stuttaford this is just a minor detail since both countries are populated by tiny little garlic-munching pepper-popping Spanish-speaking brown people.
Somehow or other, Lord Stuttaford discovered his error and rather than admit error and remove the reference to Morales from the post, he doubled down and continued to blame the provision in the Ecuadorian Constitution on the Bolivian President:
This somewhat sinister drivel is presumably largely presumably partly reflects the influence of the work of Bolivia’s somewhat sinister president Morales …
For those of you who do not speak fluent wingnut, “presumably” means that there is not a shred of evidence for Morales’s involvement in the Ecuadorian constitution other than that Lord Stuttaford doesn’t like Morales or the provision in question so the two things must necessarily be connected. Lord Stuttaford is presumably partly responsible himself for The Learning Channel, pumpkin-pie flavored coffee drinks, and Dothan, Alabama.
Given that every single poor person in the United States now has a cellphone, liberals should stop whining about income inequality and tax cuts for the rich. The reason that poor people can afford luxuries such as cellphones is precisely because the rich are rich.
Sorry for the sparse posting but I was kidnapped by mercenary agents of Donald Trump who heard that I had a copy of the Obama long form birth certificate and was about to release it. Yesterday Snowy jumped up onto Trump’s shoulder and ran off with his weave. My allies then were able to ransom me for the Donald’s weave and here I am. Posting will resume to somewhat normal — or at least normal for Sadly, No! — this weekend. In the meantime consider this the first, and hopefully only, open thread.
Pajamas Media’s resident fashion-plate and bow-tie adorned dildo brings us his latest installment in the wingnut myth that Obama Is a Muslim intent on imposing sharia law in the United States. Kimball’s editors — no doubt concerned that the typical Pajamas Media lip-moving reader rarely makes it past the headline — pack everything into the post title: “Why It’s OK for the U.S. Govt. to Burn Bibles But Condemn Burning the Koran.”
it was just a week or two ago that everyone from Sen. Lindsey Graham (R., sort of, SC) to Gen. David Petraeus and Sec. of State Hillary Clinton loudly condemned the Rev. Terry Jones for presiding over his Koran barbecue. Burning a holy book, you see, was hateful, intolerant, and extremely disrespectful.
…
At the same time, however, it is OK, in the Obama regime, for the U.S. government to burn Bibles. Yes, that’s right. Bibles were sent to U.S. soldiers in Afghanistan. But the U.S. government determined that the presence of Bibles in this “devoutly Muslim country” might inflame the natives. So they burned them.
Obama the Kenyan Muslim jihadist is snatching Bibles from the hands of our troops and burning those Bibles at the same time he’s condemning a good Christian pastor for burning a Koran. Better stock up on Budweiser and pork barbecue while you can, people, because Obama’s coming to take all that away and force your kids to attend a madrassa.
There is apparently no limit to the facial absurdity of the narratives that wingnuts will peddle to discredit Obama.
If you click the supporting link that Roger graciously provides to substantiate this latest Obama outrage, you’ll see that Roger — surprise, surprise — isn’t quite telling the whole story.
Missing fact #1: The Bibles weren’t sent to “U.S. soldiers” but were sent to one soldier by his church to be passed out to local Afghans.
Missing fact #2: Military regulations forbid proselytization of the locals by troops, mostly to prevent endangerment of the troops.
Missing fact #3: The Bibles were written in Pashto and Dari.
Missing fact #4: The only U.S. troops who could read the Bible in those languages are gay translators who were drummed out of the military. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement.
Missing fact #5: The military actions at issue occurred in 2008 during the Bush administration.
(Note: The artificial dildo in the picture illustrating this post has written to complain about being included in a photograph with Kimball)
It is not a criticism of the Ryan plan to say that it won’t decrease the deficit without tax increases opposed by Ryan, myself and all the other Republicans. This is because the Democrats will pass those tax increases anyway.
The problem with Facebook is that it made me realize that all the people who used to be my friends won’t speak to me anymore. Bah. Who needs Facebook anyway? It just starts riots among brown people in the third world and turns white people into retards.
*As yet more evidence of Robin’s narcissistic personality disorder she sees her five completely uneventful minutes on Facebook as her “five minutes of fame.”
Good groveling grief, but the folks over at America’s Shittiest Website™ are begging their readers, yet again, to find the nickels, dimes, Funyun crumbs, and pizza crusts under their couch cushions and to send the spare change over to ASW™ to keep that old tub afloat. It’s hard to imagine why these guys are always needing more money. It is certainly not to make sure that Jo-Dough Loadberg has a full-supply of personal hygiene products or to pay K-Lo’s makeover bills and birth control expenses.
In a post touchingly titled by K-Lo as “Down But Not Out,” we have this heart-rending story of selfless sacrifice made by some hapless Corner reader to make sure that none of the poor dears who write for ASW™ miss a meal or an episode of CSI because their cable got cut off.
From a $50 contributor to our spring fundraising drive:
Recently unemployed and looking for work — but you are still worth supporting!
Our readers — God bless you! Thank you for joining those who have made the decision to support NRO.
.
Pardon me for a moment while I go dab a tissue on my tear-stained cheeks. Or not. I mean, honestly, what kind of moral sludge can advocate policies that will fatten the wallets of millionaires and throw the middle class out of their jobs and then take money from some unemployed guy? How do they know they’re not taking the last peanut butter sandwich out of the mouths of his kids? Why wouldn’t they do the decent thing and return the check with a nice thank you note and a suggestion that they would love a contribution later when he had a job and could afford it? Am I wrong to think that these people would get into a fist fight with a homeless man over a quarter that someone dropped on the sidewalk?
In one New York Times article I counted every time the reporter used the words “conservative” and “liberal” and discovered that the reporter said “conservative” more often than he said “liberal.” This is scientific proof that the New York Times is liberal.
Celebrated birther and Alzheimer’s patient Jack Cashill has uncovered on the web a shocking photo of Obama’s grandparents posing with Obama’s amputated knee so that when Obama ran for President almost three decades later they could replace the amputated knee with the rest of Obama and prove that he went to Columbia rather than the Kenyan institute for Marxist Muslims. Previously I had never realized that such photoshopperific trickery was possible. That made me suspect that maybe one could find more shenanigans going on with the family photos of other presidential candidates.
Like this highly suspicious photoshop of Mike Huckabee clearly designed to suggest that he fathered a family in Arkansas.
Obviously this is a photoshop, but I couldn’t prove it until I found the ORIGINAL photograph:
In case you are wondering, that is the Huckabees posing with their maternal grandmother, seated to the right on the bench next to her daughter and the family dog which appears to be gasping for breath as it is being crushed to death by Grandma.
Someone then crudely inserted Huckabee into the family portrait using this picture of Huckabee taken when he was visiting his real family in Botswana, where he was actually born.
Notice the similar position of Huckabee in both photographs. Case closed.
UPDATE: Pops Cashill has now scrubbed the version of his WND article on his own website to eliminate his hilarious theory that Obama was photoshopped into the Dunham photo. Apparently he finally realized that the magic repeating wall, the shifting bench leg, and the recropping of the photo so that Ms. Dunham’s left-ward shift wouldn’t make it look like her toes had been amputated allowed only the conclusion that what he thought was the real photograph was photoshopped and vice-versa.
Here is an image of his website before he scrubbed the article:
The other day, two USC students copulated on top of a campus building. In broad daylight. In plain view. I blame it on transgendered students and a USC professor who teaches a course about how monkeys fuck.
[Unlike Dan Blatt, I have a real job, and it has kept me crazy busy lately. And I'll be on travel for the next several days, so posting may continue to be light for a few more days. If that bothers anyone, please send a letter to Sadly, No! Customer Service and the nice people there in our Bangalore office will refund your subscription fees.]
If you make health care a universal right, the next thing you know people will be demanding free ice cream, chocolate chip cookies and pony rides for everyone.
I, for one, think it is a good thing that there are fewer blacks in DC. One of the many benefits of urban improvement is that it makes all the blacks move out, because they really don’t like to live anywhere but crime-ridden slums where they can sell drugs and mug people.
Renew America’s Bryan Fischer has made the shocking discovery that the US Constitution’s ballyhooed First Amendment doesn’t protect the ‘right’ of Muslims to practice their religion:
The First Amendment was written by the Founders to protect the free exercise of Christianity. They were making no effort to give special protections to Islam. Quite the contrary.
A bold statement and it probably behooves us to look at the actual text of the First Amendment to see if Fischer’s on to something:
Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.
Holy Hannah, he’s right! We don’t see anything about ‘Islam’ in there, either. Whereas the part that specifically names ‘Christianity’ is right there between the lines!
Meanwhile, there’s nothing in the First Amendment that says the PRESIDENT can’t make a law ‘respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof’, even if Congress can’t. Not that the stealth Muslim in the White House would ever make a law prohibiting Islam — yeah, right!
Islam has no fundamental First Amendment claims, for the simple reason that it was not written to protect the religion of Islam. Islam is entitled only to the religious liberty we extend to it out of courtesy. While there certainly ought to be a presumption of religious liberty for non-Christian religious traditions in America, the Founders were not writing a suicide pact when they wrote the First Amendment.
Ironically, suicide pacts are themselves protected under the First Amendment. Or are they? It’s a question for the lawyers, but we’re guessing that Judas Priest-inspired suicide pactsare protected under the Constitution but Cat Stevens ones are not. To quote the great Supreme Court justice Felix Frankfurter, ‘If you want to sing out, shut the fuck up, raghead! PS durka durka bitchez!’
(Historical sidenote: If you play the First Amendment backwards you hear this.)
Our government has no obligation to allow a treasonous ideology to receive special protections in America …
… but this is exactly what the Democrats are trying to do right now with Islam.
Oh, right. Forgot to stay on message for a second.
From a constitutional point of view, Muslims have no First Amendment right to build mosques in America.
Well, duh. Everybody knows that the First Amendment is trumped by the Ground Zero Amendment!
They have that privilege at the moment, but it is a privilege that can be revoked if, as is in fact the case, Islam is a totalitarian ideology dedicated to the destruction of the United States.
And having the state ban certain types of religious speech is so totally not totalitarian! I’d say we’ve reached peak wingnut, but I’m still holding out for the ‘Obama: Member Of An Al-Qaeda Sleeper Cell?’ headline on WorldNetDaily.
Muslims are freest in this country than any other country in the world and frankly no one gives a fig what they worship. The problem arose when thousands wee laughtered in the name of allah and the glory of jihad. We are entitled to our lives, Mr. Durbin. We are entitled to our security, Mr. Durbin. We are entitled to kee pur babies safe, Mr. Durbin. [emphasis mine]
Ken? We certainly don’t, but as long as we’re butchering Burns, might as well go all the way:
As Ann’s commenter Dust Bunny Queen put it: ‘Althouse has the class and courage to keep even the most derogatory and obnoxious comments from posters about herself instead of whining about it and deleting.’ She’s nothing if not thick-skinned, our Ann.
At any rate, we find this development deucedly unfair to Meade. And so we’d like to offer our own humbler Web-blog’s comment threads as friendlier cyberspatial confines … where he may feel free to post his obfuscations, grammar pedantry and gallant defenses of Lady Ann with no fear of deletion or reprise.
Please visit our shores, Meade! And to sweeten the deal, we’ve cooked up some cool new merchandising ideas for Ann’s blog that we offer free of charge (seeing as how there’s some kind of charity thing going on over there right now).
First up: A lovely Ann n’ Meade Screensaver – truly an inspiration for romance-challenged bloggers who dare to dream that true love may be found amidst retarded debate over the subliminal use of the N-Word in Democratic campaign ads:
Next: Now you too can own Meade’s favoritest Novelty T-shirt of all time! Who couldn’t resist walking hand-in-hand with a foxy Constitutional law professor while sporting this eye-catching number?
Finally, for the children: Educational Ann n’ Meade Missionary Position Puppets to scare the little rugrats out of playing doctor after hitting their parents’ box wine stash! Take it from Ann and Meade, kids — getting wood sounds plenty fun, but nobody wants a splinter!
Special Bonus: Our Missionary Position Puppets may be primarily intended for the youngsters, but that doesn’t mean grown-ups can’t get a kick out of them too! When you and your sex partner-slash-wingnutosphere trophy putz mix and match our patent-pending magnetized Ann n’ Meade Sex Fantasy Thought Balloons, you’ll get jillions of great ideas for what to think about when forced to do the nasty for appearance’s sake!
Fig. 1
Fig. 2
So please come comment on our blog, Meade. We would never ban you or delete your comments — and more importantly, we’d never ever never insult you or your wonderful bride.
