ABOVE (left to right): Jonah Goldberg, David Brooks
Shorter Jonah “The Whale” Goldberg, The New York “There’s A Porch Monkey In The White House” Post
Haiti’s True Curse
The real problem in Haiti is that it’s populated by a bunch of lazy niggers, and if we just keep giving them money nothing will ever change.*
Shorter David Brooks, The [...]
Shorter Jonah Goldberg, National Review Online
Tough Love the Only Long-Term Cure for Haiti
We should be careful not to help Haitians too much, or otherwise it’ll just encourage them to have more earthquakes.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
ABOVE: Ingres, Portrait of André McCarthy,Baron de Mouthbreathers de Enaro (1811)
Over at America’s Shittiest Website™, the reaction to the underpants bomber has been as swift as it was predictable. Naturally, because his flaming jockey shorts scared some people on the plane and has left right-wingers quaking with fear and soiling their own non-explosive underpants, [...]
ABOVE LEFT: Velasquez, Portrait of the Dwarf Little Person Marco Kricoricano (c. 1636-1646)
ABOVE RIGHT: Bernardo Strozzi (attr.), Man in Full, Portrait of Jonassandro del Oroburro (17th cent.)
Shorter Mark Krikorian, America’s Shittiest Website™
‘There Went Out a Decree from Caesar Augustus …’
Liberals, who hate Jesus, are sneakily using the Nativity story to convince Mexicans to be counted [...]
ABOVE:Bernardo Strozzi (attr.), Man in Full, Portrait ofJonassandro del Oroburro (17th cent.)
A post in which Jonah the Whale, of all people, repeats an “Algore is fat” joke would be, if only for that, an appropriate target for scorn and ridicule, but, as with most things Jonah, there is always more.
Before Your Very Eyes! [...]
Slightly Shorter Jonah “The Whale” Goldberg, America’s Shittiest Website™
Now There’s An Idea
As long as the Nobel Committee is giving the Peace Prize to Obama simply because he’s a Negro, why the hell don’t they just give it to Kanye West?
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all [...]
Ex-douchebag armchair warrior promotes ex-9/11 headcase’s blog for its ‘evolution’ into baseline sanity. And oddly enough, we like both Andrew Sullivan’s and Charles Johnson’s recent output (eww?) … but can we trust either one as far as we can throw Jonah Goldberg?
In other news, we are soliciting script ideas for a Sadly, No! ’sting’ operation [...]
Teh Pantload:
On Monuments [Jonah Goldberg]
For the record, I never much liked the idea of a monument at ‘ground zero.’ I wanted the World Trade Center rebuilt, even bigger. As I wrote at the time: ‘When the World Trade Center was first constructed it was the tallest building in the world. When it was destroyed, it [...]
Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to True Believer Theatre. I am your ghost…heh-heh, that is, your host, Eric Hoffer (1902-1983), charter member of the Christopher Lasch (1932-1994) Supper Club of Conservative Anti-Wingnuts (Peter “Not George Sylvester Viereck” Viereck [1916-2006], President and Chancellor), and author of the classic early-postwar work on the authoritarian personality, The True Believer, [...]
Jonah Goldberg, National Review Online:
A Test of Kennedy Currency:
Democrats think they can bamboozle Republicans into voting for their health care “reform” bill by naming it after Ted Kennedy, even though they criticized Rush Limbaugh for coming up with the exact same idea five months before the senator succumbed to brain cancer, because doing so would [...]
We had planned on calling this post stupid on a stick. Then we realized it would not, in fact, be possible to put this much stupid on any stick. If you tried, the stick in question would resist by grabbing an even bigger stick and beating you with it, until you became the human equivalent [...]
Jonah Goldberg* does not take criticism well:
Must . . . Control . . . Blink . . . Rate
From a viewer:
Dear Mr. Goldberg,
I’ve seen you a few times now on Fox News, and it’s obvious you are becoming more comfortable and have dropped a lot of the AHHs and UHMs you started out with, but [...]
Badley Whacko pipes up, for a second time, on John Mackey’s GaltCare proposal over at Reason magazine’s blog. Mackey gives money to Reason, so it’s not surprising that Badley, er, Radley, a “Senior Editor” at the magazine, rolls over on his back, sticks his paws in the air, wags his tail madly and asks [...]
Shorter Michelle Malkin: Government-backed union thugs with their tactically violent hate criming respond only to a show of force.
Shorter Tony Blankley: I have begun to grow, urp, concerned about the president’s exit plan from Afghanistan, or his, oof, lack thereof.
Shorter Austin Bay: Surfing the Internet is like riding the wave of the future!
Shorter Walter Williams: [...]
Did the Pantload just claim credit for Sarah Palin’s tactical face-plant?
Palin Resigning [Jonah Goldberg]
Well, aside from my timing being impeccable, the best I can say is I’m flabbergasted.
Not running again could make sense as a pre-presidential move. Resigning strikes me as very strange. I do hope all is well with her family and that there’s [...]
ABOVE: Meghan in her office
Meghan Tiffney Britney Amber Dawn Heather McCain was on Bill Maher’s Real Time last night once again demonstrating the utter lunacy of giving tube time and blogging space to the semi-retarded offspring of politicians or political celebrities (cf. Jonah “DoughBlob LoadPants” Goldberg). Painted up like Tammy Faye and stuffed into [...]
Oh dear. Yes, this will be known as the day that Erick Erickson finally went ‘apesh.’ That is, he lost ‘it.’ Clever? Not very. But we’re a bit stunned.
Erick Erickson, RedState:
Blood for Blood. Ashes for Ashes.
If the right can be blamed for the tragedy today, the left must be consumed with scrubbing the blood from [...]
Shorter LoadPants:
Jonah Goldberg, Nationalist Review Online TeeVee’s “Off the Page Rocker”
Jonah Goldberg on Race & Sotomayor
Government should never consider race except, of course, for racial profiling of young Muslim males which really isn’t profiling at all and is central to my point. Also, the reason why college legacy admission programs are okay and affirmative [...]
Shorter Jonah Goldberg:
Jonah Goldberg, America’s Shittiest Website™
The WHCD, Cont’d
Jokes about Democrats are always funny. That one last night about Hillary sending Obama to Mexico to catch swine flu and die, OMFG, that was funny. I spewed semi-masticated meat pieces all over the tablecloth when I heard it. I almost pissed myself. [...]
A long time ago in a reality far, far away, Jonah Goldberg wrote a book called “Liberal Fascism” in which he posited that liberals were direct ideological descendants of Adolf Hitler because they wanted people to eat vegetables and exercise. I shit you not.
Jonah’s position on exercise is clear: he finds it to be [...]
