What’s that? No, I’ll finish this glass of stale old Hell first, if you don’t…
Christian Newswire Media Advisory, February 3, 2010
1000 Rabbis Warn: Open Homosexuality in the Military is a Disaster and May Cause Further Natural Disasters
Fine, splendid, freshen it for me, then.
Uh, may cause further what, now?
Rabbi Yehuda Levin, spokesman for [...]
Take it away, J-Swizzle:
TIGER WOODS SLUGS WOMEN YEARS BACK
J. Grant Swank, Jr.
Tiger Woods’ wife: Elin Nordegren Woods.
Tiger Woods offers his wife millions to stay married to him—so much dough per year.
Is this not one of the most outrageous inhumane offers imaginable? Can a husband who has been caught having sex with other women now offer [...]
ABOVE: Peter Pelham, Portrait of PastorSwank (c.1700)(mezzotint)
Pastor Swank nails it:
MUSLIM OBAMA VS. MUSLIM AFGHANS VS. MUSLIM PAKISTANIS, ETC. = SPLIT PERSONALITIES
J. Grant Swank, Jr.
Marxist Muslim Barack Hussein Obama’s personalities are being split more and more with every passing presidential day.
The reason is obvious: He is fighting his own—Muslims. He is vowing in presidential speeches to [...]
Man, you KNOW it’s a hip-hop nation when you catch Pastor Swank working on his flow:
IRAN UPS ISRAEL PROPHECY
J. Grant Swank, Jr.
Iranian thug leaders are imploring the United Nations to slap Israel around for Israel stating that nation will ruin Iran if Iran does not peace up.
But the Iranians be like, ‘brahs befo’ shahs’, yo. [...]
Teh Internets owes teh Sadlies $19717.3. This is true.
Meanwhile, did you also know that God speaks through earthquakes? And not just any old earthquakes, but ‘multitudinous earthquakes’? And not just any multitudinous earthquakes but ‘present-tense quakes’ that move mountains out of their sockets?
‘Included in the End Times signs are earthquakes,’ reports J. Grant Swank, ’such [...]
Sorry for yorking so many posts in a row, but can somebody please explain what Pastor Swank is on about here:
Jones had buddies with 2001 terrorists. This continues the awesome horrific shudder that since 2001 we now have in DC control Muslim colleagues power housing the Republic.
I’m starting to get a bit worried about him, [...]
Above: The time now is always
Pastor Swank sets the scene:
He, dapper, was dressed in expensive casual duds. I figured him to be in his mid-20s. Sure enough, I was right.
We shook hands. I asked him if he had a degree, for I assumed he did in that he appeared suave, educated and of cosmopolitan mindset.
Good [...]
Chicago Ray, why can’t we quit you!
ABOVE: Lives in furnished parking lot
Flight 93 4/24/09
Welcome to the Flight 93 Memorial Blogroll and Burst, which is designed to bring more well deserved attention to the ridiculous Muslim Honoring Memorial being now being planned and soon to be constructed in Shanksville PA. A memorial that is supposed to [...]
‘Chicago Ray’ sounds like a bad idea for a pizza place,1 but he’s a good idea for a guy who yells at liberals on the Internet. Because where, you know, can you find an exceptional blargh of halitotic anger these days? Where can you experience that extra, supraordinary tweet-bird in orbit around the head — [...]
Shorter Pastor Swank:
AMERICA: RIOT!
Jet off your buff and revolt the ill-equipped Congress brats to rap them with what’s what!
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
ABOVE: Bob Tyrrell explains the secret of hisyouthful good looks
Of all the wingnuts rushing to the defense of the bloated drug-addict and radio yacker Rush Limbaugh, certainly the most entertaining instance has been watching Bob “Don’t Call Me Emmet” Tyrrell wheedle his scabrous tongue up the talk show host’s tail pipe as he does [...]
A case of mass Obamanoia is raging through Wingnutistan and seems to have pushed some of our favorite wingnuts through the looking glass to that place where up is down, war is peace, and stupidity is genius. You know, that place where Jonah Goldberg is a model for Calvin Klein briefs, where Pastor Swank [...]
My New Years resolution this year is that Dan Riehl should stop being such a tool.
What Grade Would You Give Bush?
I give Bush a B and I could debate myself as to whether it’s a B+ or B-, so I won’t. I do think the arguments tend more toward the plus side in that, [...]
Each year, a time comes to give thanks for the blessings we have received, and to roast a big turkey. We’ll do the thanks and blessings later, because here comes Pastor Swank.
Above: Goodman Swank thanks God for some corn hefound sitting around unguarded
OBAMA, WILL YOU EVER END A SPEECH WITH ‘AND GOD BLESS AMERICA’?
J. Grant [...]
Slate currently has a dialogue involving Tucker Carlson, Ross Douthat and assorted ponderous bores, wherein this crack GOP salvage crew discuss lessons to be learned from conservatism’s crushing defeat to B. Hussein Obama. Fine, for what it’s worth, but I thought I’d pose the question, ‘Whither conservatives now?’ to a more representative sample of the [...]
***DEVELOPING***
Obama’s Campaign Ends: Federal Judge Orders DNC Remove Obama From All Ballots
October 24, 2008
By Daniel Downs
After reviewing evidence presented by Attorney Philip Berg, US District Court Judge Honorable R. Barry Surrick has ruled that Barak Hussein Obama was not a “natural born” or “naturalized” citizen and is ineligible to run for and/or serve as President [...]
Take it away, Pastor Swank:
And if McCain continues to stroke B. Hussein, he could just be handing the election over to the mask Muslim.
Why did I ever stop reading this guy for so long?
Because I’ve mostly been working on mainstream wingnuts such as Bill Kristol and K-Lo lately, I began wondering today how some of the less literate wingnuts that comprise the conservative base are reporting on this year’s election. After all, if the folks at the National Review are going this delightfully bonkers over the prospect [...]
ABOVE: Andy “Stings Like A Butterfly” McCarthy
Jonathan Adler and Andy McCarthy have been flinging poo and calling each other names over at America’s Shittiest Website™. It all got started with Andy’s post endorsing Jack “Clinton Shot Ron Brown” Cashill’s claim that Bill Ayers ghost-wrote Obama’s first book.
Adler’s first slap (color commentary by me [...]
Above: God attempts to seize Kevin McCullough’s Fonzie jacket.
Hi, everybody! Did you miss me? I know musclehead revolutionary Kevin McCullough did, because he got me a present.
I was hoping with a headline like “WHY OBAMA’S ‘CONDOMS’ DON’T WORK,” it would be about how Barry X is a rapacious, fecund Negro sex predator who [...]
