Shorter Bob Owens

Posted at 19:09 by Brad

Only Supply is Dampening The Run On Guns Obamee’s a’comin’ t’ git our guns!! T’ git our guns!!! Stock up all th’ ammo y’can!!!! WOLVERINES!!!!!!! ‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™


Shorter Bob Owens

Posted at 16:52 by Brad

Obama Mentor Frank Marshall Davis an Admitted Child Rapist The National Enquirer and right-wing blogs are the only news organizations with the guts to tell THE TRUTH about Barack Obama and his gaylord butt buddy poet pal who is gay and into the homo sex. ‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton […]


Shorter Bob Owens

Posted at 20:44 by Brad

AFP Revises History Watch me cherry-pick numbers in order to obfuscate the fact that hundreds of Lebanese civilians died during Israel’s 2006 bombing campaign. ‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. Gavin adds: You know, life’s short, and I haven’t been able to grasp what he’s trying to accomplish here without […]


Wolverines! Ah, I mean an actual Wolverine! Mommy, get my Anarchy Ouchy Kit!

Posted at 6:57 by Cerberus

Pew pew pew, now fall down Federal Government, I shot you! Bob Owens, The Website Formerly Known as Confederate Wanker: Shock the system I’ve said before that what wingnuts lack most is creativity and I think nothing better demonstrates that than the coked-up fantasies wingnuts come up with to describe their idea of what real […]


Q.E.D. (Quod Erat Dumbfuckery)

Posted at 19:33 by Tintin

ABOVE: Bob Owens Shorter Bob Owens, Confederate Wanker Everybody’s A Racist Now The election of a Negro to the White House is definitive proof that there is not a single racist left in the United States and for Obama to say that there are still racists in the United States is definitive proof that he’s […]


Alex, I’ll Take “Racial Slurs” for $100

Posted at 19:34 by Tintin

ABOVE: Confederate Yankee Bob Owens on patrol for Black Bart* One of the favorite memes of the right-wing nutjob-o-sphere is that liberals and blacks are the real racists and that, in reality, the true champions of diversity and racial harmony are conservative white guys who, believe it or not, spend almost every waking hour mulling […]


Please, God, Stop Bob Before He Breeds Again

Posted at 15:47 by Tintin

ABOVE: Bob Owens demonstrates his own patented method of self-defense Shorter Bob Owens, Confederate Wanker Left-Wing Think Progress Advocates Stripping Citizens of Constitutional Rights Without Benefit of Trial, Conviction, or Notice of Even Being A Suspect or Any Other Kind of Goll-durned Notice and Not Even with the Chance to Sit Down and Sip on […]


Ad Verecundiam, Mr. President? For Shame!

Posted at 15:59 by D. Aristophanes

Obama makes the common fallacious appeal to authority here, while throwing in some ad hominem and the appeal to ridicule: “I really have no response to that. The last I checked, Sarah Palin is not much of an expert on nuclear issues,” Obama said in an interview with ABC News. Logical fallacies much, Mr. POTUS? […]


A Foolish Consistency is the Hobgoblin of Little Minds

Posted at 14:55 by Tintin

ABOVE: Bob Owens demonstrates his own patented method of self-defense We briefly interrupt our extended coverage of wingnut wunderkind James “Great White Hope” O’Keefe to bring you breaking news from the backwoods of North Carolina where Bob “Confederate Wanker” Owens has improvidently waded into the “fucking retarded” brouhaha involving Rahm Emanuel. Apparently Rahm referred to […]


Scott Brown’s Body

Posted at 9:56 by D. Aristophanes

It’s been a while since we checked in with Bob Owens, aka the Confederate Yankee, or as I’ve decided to start calling him, the Dixie Doodle Dumbfuck (DDD): Slowing Brown Down (If He Wins) … while many have come to view a Brown victory as their last, best hope to derail socialized medicine, there is […]


Gullible’s Travails

Posted at 15:42 by Tintin

Bob Owens says, “Take the Front Line Course, fully endorsed by me, the Confederate Yankee, and you’ll never have to poop in fear again!” Oh fuck me. As if we needed any more enraged backwoods wingnuts packing heat, Bob Owens is now pushing a firearms training course from some outfit called Front Sight Firearms Training […]


The Inveterate Wanker Rises Again

Posted at 19:30 by Tintin

ABOVE: After a hurricane toppled Bob Owens’s outhouse,he demonstrates that Confederate Yankee ingenuity forwhich he is so well known. Only Slightly Shorter Bob Owens, Klan Yankee Worshipping Protocol Over Truth Ah’m not lyin’ when ah sayuh that Joe Wilson wuzn’t lyin’ when he sayud that the Preznit was a lar, cuz the Preznit was a […]



Posted at 17:07 by HTML Mencken

Shorter Bob Owens and the Hee Haw Recovering Alcoholic Jug Band.: “Brits Debut “Stab-Proof” Knives” Stabless knives? Sheee-it fahhr. Y’all Limey queers might as well make stringless banjos! What’s next, moonshine that won’t blind ye? Corn cobs too smooth and such ta wipe yer behind with? I’d shoot the whole lot of ya, if’n I […]


The secret to future conservative success

Posted at 19:10 by Brad

Oh deary. It seems that Michelle Malkin is (shock) outraged again because some nasty people have been saying that right-wing bloggers produce nothing but crazy-assed bullshit. When pressed for counterexamples, she gives us this: Who says conservative bloggers don’t do reporting? [...] Bob Owens at Confederate Yankee/Pajamas Media published several original reports and scoops — […]


Confederate Yankee: We Have The Tape

Posted at 22:19 by Gavin M.

He’s a tough nut, that Confederate Yankee. Imagine our brief admiration when we saw that our favorite Citizen Journalist and scourge of the reported media had shored up his berserk ravings about Barack Obama and William Ayers with an actual interview — one with an actual primary source in the Ayers saga. Little did he […]


Batshit Crazy — Now With Less Bat, More Shit

Posted at 20:59 by Tintin

ABOVE: Jack Cashill Jack Cashill, a Wingnut Daily columnist best known for his sublimely ludicrous conspiracy theories — you know, Bill Clinton shot Ron Brown and missiles shot down TWA 800 — has honed homed zeroed in on another theory that is certain to get some of the dimmer wingnuts in the wingnut-o-sphere — we’re […]


The Big Sophistry Of Low Expectations

Posted at 16:12 by D. Aristophanes

Sarah, Sarah, Sarah! But the press just won’t leave her alone. And what about Barack Hussein Obama, Dr. Ol’ Perfesser wonders: DEMANDING A SARAH PALIN PRESS CONFERENCE: Sure, bring it on — right after Obama takes questions from Bob Owens, Stanley Kurtz, David Freddoso, the Powerline guys, and Hugh Hewitt on the Bill Ayers/Annenberg business. […]


To Boldly Go Where No Stupid Has Gone Before

Posted at 5:30 by Tintin

ABOVE: Bob Owens wants to put you in a MonteCarlo!! Just this morning used-car salesman Bob Owens, aka the “Confederate Yankee,” had a fleeting moment of clarity and admitted that he wasn’t “qualified to comment meaningfully on the [bailout] in any way, shape, or form.” Of course, if Owens restricted his commentary to things he […]


Our Nefarious Fascist Plot To Silence “Amy” Alkon Revealed!

Posted at 0:53 by Tintin

“Amy” Alkon has been doing a great imitation of an Italian soccer player lately. Every time we come anywhere near her, she falls down, starts screaming in pain, contorts her face wildly and gestures for a referee, hoping that we’ll get a yellow (or better yet, a red) card. You know, like this: Her schtick […]


Another fine Confederate Yankee moment

Posted at 18:35 by Brad

Is there anything that Barack Obama can say, no matter how seemingly benign, that Bob Owens will not react to by jumping up and a-hootin’ and a-hollerin’ that B. Hussein Obama is a big ol’ commie? I mean, get a load of this: Silk Purses, Hog’s Ears Via TPM Election Central comes word that Barack […]

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