I think it may be impossible to top the headline of this post by Lloyd Marcus at Medievalize America: “Liberal Media Forces Homosexuality Agenda Down America’s Throat.” I suppose maybe “Liberal Media Shoves Homosexuality Agenda Up America’s Butt While Wearing Two Wetsuits” would be even better, and I suppose it won’t be long until the “down your throat” metaphor morphs into the “up your bum” metaphor, but in the meantime we’ll have to be content with shoving things like health care, homosexual agendas, flood relief payments and highways down people’s throat.
Lloyd’s musings about forced fellation of visits to the gym, swanky happy hours, Lady Gaga concerts and other items on the homosexual agenda, however, actually surpass the headline.
Please, please, please understand, as we said in the 60s, where I’m coming from.” This article is NOT about bashing homosexuals.
Nor is it about proper use of quotation marks apparently. And, if you suspect that the overemphatic NOT is a bit of overcompensation before a sound bashing of homosexuals, you would, of course, be right. But first, Lloyd takes a a little detour to Someofmybestfriendsville.
I have homosexual family members and friends whom I love very much.
If you are wondering who that homosexual family member might be or how exactly Lloyd might “love very much” his homosexual friends, then you’ve obviously never heard Lloyd speak.
I never thought I’d ever say this, but this guy makes Marcus Bachmann sound like Dirty Harry. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
Now let’s get down to the business of bashing homosexuals, which is what Lloyd is all about, notwithstanding his protestations and his own obvious self-interest. To spare you having to read the whole thing, here’s the shorter:
Because the Bible says that homosexuals are an abomination, it was bigoted for David Gregory to ask Michelle Bachman her views on those abominations. In fact, by asking the question, the media proves that it wants to make your children gay.
But it’s not just NBC, by the way, that wants to make your children gay:
Even home improvement and cooking TV programs feature a high number of homosexual couples disproportionate to the population. Clearly, many TV producers have an agenda to normalize the homosexual lifestyle.
Apparently the ultimate goal of the media is to make everyone big fat gay inhabitants of big fat over-decorated gay homes. So, folks, please understand that the only thing between you, sodomy, minimalist furniture and three helpings of lavender and tilleul infused crème brulée is Michelle Bachman and Lloyd Marcus.
Stupid Obama. He went to the Hurricane Command Center thinking he can stop Hurricane Irene. If he really wanted to help things, he should be hauling sandbags.
Sorry for the Relative Silence Here
August 26, 2011 9:54 A.M.
By Kathryn Jean Lopez
BUT THERE ARE NO D-BATTERIES anywhere … as the Northeast descends into hysteria, buying gallons and gallons of water because of the potential … water fall.
Link courtesy Ted the Slacker in comments. Complaints, valedictions, requests for brain bleach may be sent to same.
Shorter Andrew J. McCarthy America’s Shittiest Website “Et Tu, Yoo?”
My pal John Yoo thinks any President should be able to slaughter and torture furriners at his leisure, while I think such powers are reserved for Republican Presidents only.
Morality, politics, the English language — all broken beyond…BLARG! It’s like this doesn’t mean that anymore, and the whatzzit? Grr. Thanks a lot, gaywads!
Shorter Msgr. Ross Xavier Pius Douthat, S.J., O.P., O.F.M., S.S.J., Th.D+, The New York Fucking Times Pope-Ed Page Messing with Texas
Critics of Rick Perry who point to lousy education statistics in Texas don’t mention that the reason these numbers are so bad is that Texas has more beaners than any other state, which, of course, results in really low test scores.
Over at America’s Shittiest Website™ there is nothing that the Negro-in-Chief can do that won’t get them howling in outrage. If they were to find out that Obama wears boxers rather than briefs, or vice-versa, we would see a flurry of posts on how the radical theories of Saul Alinsky were behind boxer wearing (or brief wearing, depending on which was being worn). There would be someone who would point out that the President shouldn’t wear whichever he was wearing or should wear what he wasn’t wearing until he fixed the economy and everyone had jobs. Maggie Gallagher would say that the choice, whichever it happened to be, was a secret sign of allegiance to the gay community which was known to prefer boxers over briefs or briefs over boxers as applicable.
But I think that the über-macho, testosterone-drenched, lieder recital enthusiast Jay Nordlinger takes this to a whole new level when the picture below leads to Nordlinger flinging himself on his chintz-covered chaise longue with a languid sigh
I’m sorry, but a grown man wearing a bicycle helmet, when he’s not training or racing like LeMond, is just — is just . . . Well, I think Dukakis looked better in his tank, is all I’m saying.
Yes, that’s right. Nordlinger is complaining that Obama, on a bike ride with his daughter, is wearing a a safety helmet. This is coming from the man who attends lieder recitals and who claps his hands a hundred miles per hour and squeals for his favorite sopranos. This is coming from a man who looks like this:
Jay Nordlinger giving “butch-it-up” tips and advice is only slightly more ludicrous than K-Lo giving fellatio pointers.
And speaking of truly unflattering (but revealing) pictures, Rick Perry will now never be able to convince anyone that he hasn’t had worse things in his mouth.
Here’s what Michele Bachmann should say the next time some reporter asks her about her views on the gays: “All homos are incapable of true love. Indeed, it is this false idea that they can love one another that is causing the taxpayers to pay Planned Parenthood to kill innocent babies.” But if she actually said this the gays would do what they did to Santorum and savagely turn her last name into an unspeakable perversion.
President Blackity-Black DeKenya McMuslim is encouraging black mobs to beat up white people and his Attorney General Head Pimp Eric “Chilli Dawg Sling Diddy” Holder is doing nothing about it whatsoever.
Defense cuts have sadly limited Great Britain’s ability to murder as many extranational wogs as it used to, and now it’s obvious that the same kind of cuts to police forces have limited its ability to brutally repress its domestic wogs, who are a typically riotous species of subhuman and only understand force.
The way to keep black and brown men out of jail isn’t job training but is instead to force their mothers to get married, something which is impossible to accomplish as long as liberals are all pushing gay marriage.
If you know anyone who still believes in the theory of gravity, you can disprove it to them simply by telling them the story of Peter Pan, a boy who could fly in complete defiance of the so-called theory of gravity.
Well, well, Dan and Bruce, the Dumb and Dumberer of gay wingnuts, have given full Gay Patriot posting privileges to Hollywood NeoCon, one of their legion of dimwitted commenters, who now calls himself Eric Olsen and has decided to let us know why so many black gay men are becoming infected with HIV. Since we can reasonably assume that Gay “Patriot,” a blog run by a bunch of white middle-aged unattractive wingnuts who dubiously claim to be homosexual, has no more than two gay black readers, it is also reasonable to assume that Eric is not discussing gay black HIV rates to provide helpful information to black gay men.
No, indeedy, Eric is discussing black HIV rates to bolster his point that black gays are mindless Mandingoes that just can’t keep their unsheathed dicks in their pants no matter how many times they are told to.
So, if I understand Fenton correctly, a young black man decides to have unprotected sex because he’s a poverty-stricken victim of homophobia and discrimination? Really? Is he asserting that an erection and impulsiveness have no part in how one acquires this life-threatening disease? … Dr. Fenton, … if you truly believe you can blame the rest of us and continue to ignore the reckless irresponsibility of those who are apparently incapable of thinking beyond gratifying their immediate desires, then perhaps, by your standards, it is you who should be held accountable.
Of course, this being Gay Patriot, no post is complete without a swipe at teh gays as well. Not worried particularly about such niceties as logical consistency, Erik is determined to blame Black HIV rates on the wicked non-Republican gays at the same time he’s blaming it on the wild and irrepressible jungle-driven sex drive of the crazed Negro gays. He does that by asking this rhetorical question with a mystifying (and NSFW) link:
There really is no telling why Erik links militant gay culture to a Google search for Chicago bath houses. Perhap Erik meant to link something else and accidentally linked to one of his own, er, non-academic searches. Perhaps a post about irresponsible sex-crazed gay Negros got Erik all fappity-fappity and he was looking for a release somewhere other than on his own Barcalounger. Or perhaps he’s trying to say that gay liberals build bathhouses for the purpose of luring black gays to their own self destruction, proving yet again that gay liberals are — you can see this one coming, can’t you? — the real racists and the real homophobes. Or perhaps Erik is just trying to snatch the title of America’s Dumbest Homosexual™ from his buddy Dan.
By demonizing peaceful, moderate wingnuts who constantly urge the U.S. Government to murder as many Muslims as possible, it’s the editors of The New York Times who actually make violence inevitable.
Shorter Disgraced Media Baron Lord Conrad Black of DoubleCrossharbour
America’s Shittiest Website “The Coulter-Ingraham Show”
Ah, Ann Coulter and Laura Ingraham. [fapfapfapfapfap] Such classy, leggy, blonde young ladies. [fapfapfapfap] I should very much like to cut them a check, if you know what I mean (and I think you do).
