ROCHESTER, N.H. — ROCHESTER, N.H. An armed man has taken two campaign workers hostage at the Hillary Clinton campaign office in Rochester, police said.
Officials with the campaign confirmed that there were two workers taken hostage in the office on 28 North Main St.. A woman and her baby told workers at a neighboring business that she was released by the hostage-taker.
“A young woman with a 6-month or 8-month-old infant came rushing into the store just in tears, and she said, ‘You need to call 911. A man has just walked into the Clinton office, opened his coat and showed us a bomb strapped to his chest with duct tape,’” witness Lettie Tzizik said.
There are several police officers positioned across the street from the office, crouched down behind cruisers with guns drawn, according to a reported at the scene.
“I walked out and I immediately started running, and I saw that the road was blocked off. They told me run and keep going,” said Cassandra Hamilton, who works in an office adjacent to the building.
Nearby businesses have been evacuated, and the St. Elizabeth Seaton School has been locked down.
“There are sharp shooters on the roof, and police are negotiating with someone in the building,” said another witness, who did not want to be identified. “The police are notifying all the business owners on the street to evacuate. There are fire trucks behind the Hillary Clinton office.”
Clinton, who is not in New Hampshire, is attending a National Democratic Committee meeting in Virginia. Presidential candidate Barack Obama also has an office in Rochester, and it has been evacuated. There were no reports of any injuries.
200 posted on 11/30/2007 10:59:38 AM PST by SnarlinCubBear (”Tolerance becomes a crime when applied to evil.” — Thomas Mann)
2) It is clearly a leftist conspiracy.
“I wouldn’t be surprised if some rabid Clinton supporter pushed some whack job to do this”
I think you’re right. My friends and are at work are saying that if it’s a plant, they most likely threatened him to release photos or some such, and promised him he’d be okay. In real life, I think this guy will have to end up having his brains blown out. You watch. He won’t be allowed to live. Mark my words. They couldn’t leave him alive to talk. He will be dead soon.
1,123 posted on 11/30/2007 1:05:11 PM PST by sulu
3) Unlike leftists, we take no pleasure in the suffering of others.
Because FR is not DU, where death and suffering are celebrated, prayers up for anyone in harm’s way. If this is actually a hostage situation, rather than a bomb threat as Rush is reporting, I can’t imagine too many things more terrifying.
35 posted on 11/30/2007 10:36:06 AM PST by lonevoice (It’s always “Apologize to a Muslim Hour”…somewhere)
4) Ha ha!
ROFLMAO
996 posted on 11/30/2007 12:45:54 PM PST by A. Morgan (Fred Thompson/Duncan Hunter 2008 Thank me!)
Why can’t two hostages take down one sick, tired, and disturbed individual?
Oh, right—they’re Democrats.
1,361 posted on 11/30/2007 2:28:50 PM PST by Palladin (”How do we beat The Bitch?”–John McCain Supporter)
5) Shall we target and harass this man’s family?
Want his address and phone number? ;-)
1,048 posted on 11/30/2007 12:52:27 PM PST by FishTale
6) Soon we will know the truth.
I think we’ll find that all the hostages were really “so-called” hostages….That he had no gun and that he told them it was not really a bomb at all “and proved it”.
That Monica “hostage” look a like didn’t have a bit of fear on her face when she walked out.
Let’s wait it out. Just remember…the “hostages” are Hillary boot lickers!! I’m sure she’ll gather them in one room, promise them compensation and an internship so they can continue their boot-licking careers.
1,518 posted on 11/30/2007 3:38:59 PM PST by Sacajaweau (”The Cracker” will be renamed “The Crapper”)
Immigration and GOP Reputation: Giuliani and Romney are not single-issue yahoos, but they seem to be letting their hunger for power overwhelm their better judgment and decency. Recklessly bashing illegal immigrants may score them points with one angry segment in the GOP base in these debates, but what are they doing to their party’s reputation — and their own?
Lois Romano: But wasn’t it great theatre? Admit it.
Hey, this movie was pretty good theatre as well:
…but that doesn’t mean the people starring in it should be put into positions of high power.
As I’ve said before, friends, we are incredibly doomed.
Also:
Anonymous:”…how to address something that people are talking about, that has clearly become a factor in the race, without taking a position…” But Lois, you should take a position. Not only has he denied it, but every legitimate report says it isn’t true. I assume you take a position on the earth being round, because it is verifiable. Obama is verifiably not a Muslim … if only because he denies that he is.
It isn’t a question of fair and balanced when there isn’t any serious foundation to the report. For The Post to perpetuate it without clearly stating it isn’t true is a disservice to journalism, your readers and a U.S. senator. Let’s not even get into the question of the fact that it isn’t a crime to be a Muslim and run for office — which isn’t the Obama story at all.
Lois Romano: But we do chronicle his denials.
And that’s it. That’s her entire response to this extremely well-reasoned objection.
I can’t even snark this. The majority of the WaPo’s political reporting staff should be out on the street begging for food, not writing for one of the most powerful news organs in the country. Get outta here, ya maniacs!!
Gavin adds: The rumors deserve to be addressed of Lois Romano’s untidy performance in the alleged erotic video, Der Scheisslich Gruppeknall, (a.k.a. Shitty Shitty Gang Bang).
It looks like Baron Bodissey had too much root beer last night and made some unwise Google choices, because he’s gone beyond his usual fusty racist paranoia and achieved gabbling lunacy. Let’s poke the wreckage tentatively with a stick.
Fascism and Nazism have deep roots, even in the United States of America.
Apparently so. As we’re about to learn, a hand gesture at the very root of Fascism and Nazism was used in the US long before anybody knew what it meant. And here’s the thing: It’s magical and its effects transcend time and space.
A compelling demonstration of this sad fact can be found in the seemingly innocuous Pledge of Allegiance, which was originated in 1892 by Francis Bellamy. Many Americans are unaware of the fascist origins of the Pledge.
Perhaps this unawareness stems from the fact that the Pledge of Allegiance was published in 1892, or maybe it’s also the fact that Bellamy was merely a Baptist minister hired by the merchandising department of the magazine, The Youth’s Companion, to sell flags to schools.
The photos at the left show American schoolchildren saying the Pledge of Allegiance during the first half of the 20th century. In those days, as you can see, pledging the flag included a gesture known as the “Bellamy Salute”, which was identical to the “Sieg Heil” salute made notorious by Hitler’s Nazi regime!
…Which attained power 41 years after the salute was introduced in America, proving that the Nazis were actually American schoolchildren. . .or was it the other way around?
Untold thousands of American schoolchildren were corrupted by this devious indoctrination until the U.S. government became aware of the practice and put a stop to it.
Whew! End of story, then.
Oh wait, no, there’s more.
According to the Veterans’ Administration website:
Originally, the pledge was said with the hand in the so-called “Bellamy Salute,” with the hand resting first outward from the chest, then the arm extending out from the body. Once Hitler came to power in Europe, some Americans were concerned that this position of the arm and hand resembled the salute rendered by the Nazi military. In 1942, Congress established the current practice of rendering the pledge with the right hand placed flat over the heart.
Obviously, anybody who ever engaged in this kind of proto-Nazi behavior has been tainted by the practice and should be considered unfit for any decision-making position in our nation’s public affairs.
Meaning, everyone who attended school in America between 1892 and 1943. For example, Ronald Reagan. Also for example: Every member of the Eisenhower, Truman, and Kennedy administrations, every living or deceased World War II veteran, and probably Carey Roberts, who graduated high school in 1892.
Most Americans are unaware of — and would be shocked by — how many of their respected political leaders have engaged in this repugnant practice.
Not as shocked as when they find out about the so-called ‘Native Americans’:
Above: NAZOMG!
But wait, it seems like the Baron is about to make his main point — a point that perhaps he was cleverly setting up all along, even when it looked for all the world as though he was just strolling disinterestedly through the vales of history, commenting on whatever took his fancy.
Yes, it does seem like he has a point coming up here.
Historians have tentatively identified at least two current political leaders in the above photos. In the top photo, the boy who is second from the left (in the back) appears to be Sen. Carl Levin (D-MI). In the bottom photo, the seventh child in the fifth row back is thought to be none other than Sen. Edward Kennedy (D-MA).
I believe I speak for all of us when I say, what the fuck…!??
Is this a joke? I’m looking for a sign that this is a joke. Where am I? Who’s the object of this humor — is it us? Is it Crazy Upside-Down Day today, and Baron Bodissey is celebrating by making fun of something in a bizarre reversal of the natural order of things? (I.e., people making fun of Baron Bodissey.)
Citizens should demand that the leadership of our country be cleansed of former proto-Nazis. There is no place in public office for anyone with this kind of stain on his or her record.
1. calling conservative humor “unprofessional and meaningless, and degrades the quality of your encyclopedia.”
Baron Bodissey making fun of Little Green Footballs for being too squeamish about allying with neo-Nazi groups is funny in so many ways we can’t count them unprofessional and meaningless, and additionally, conservative humor is very degrades-the-quality-of-your-encyclopedia.
I tell you, folks, if you aren’t checking in on a regular basis with Conservapedia (a.k.a. Wikipedia for Stupid People™), you’re missing out on some of the surest comedy on the internet. LG&M has already done fine work in bringing us their latest high point in hilarity, a list of hallmarks of the liberal style. Pick your favorite! Here’s mine:
33. using non sequiturs in argument, such as responding to the point above that liberals over-rely on accusations of hypocrisy by citing an example of conservatives’ observing liberal hypocrisy. But their example does not help their argument. Quite the contrary, use of that example tends to prove that liberals do over-rely on accusations of hypocrisy (relativism). Think about that.
THINK ABOUT THAT. Seriously, THINK ABOUT IT.
But oh, there’s so much more! When right-wingers aren’t fantasizing over what they think liberals are like, or obsessing over homesexuality, what do they talk about among themselves? What passes for real debate in the Gasbag-American community?
Presented without comment, a selection of debate topics from Conservapedia.
If there is no objective truth, then is the claim “there is no objective truth” also not an objective truth?
Can any man live without some code of morality?
Why is there something rather than nothing?
Was Jesus born in the right time and place?
If Jesus were alive to day, where on the political spectrum would he fall?
Could God create a rock so heavy that he himself could not lift it?
Is it possible to be a conservative and not a religious person or even an atheist?
If most Muslims learned their religion from their parents, just like us Christians, they will probably be hard to convert. So what can we do to save their souls?
Should all access to Conservapedia be banned on Sundays?
Why is homosexuality so bad?
Was the European colonization of the Americas good for the native people?
Is illegal immigration control the answer to illegal immigration?
You think these Phd’s are nuts?
Does the European Union pose a threat to United States Security?
Is it even possible to install democracy in a Muslim country?
Crusades… Good or Bad?
Which is a more powerful ideology, Islam or Communism?
Should the United States intervene in small countries to defeat communism there?
Should people genetically engineer a cure for homosexuality?
Women in the Military?
Should students learn a foreign language?
Should American companies be allowed to send their own troops into a war which America is participating in?
Does porn actually cause (not merely correlate to) violence?
Has Russia reinstalled stealth communism?
Why did God place most of the world’s oil in politically unstable places?
Does Darwinian natural selection suggest that bigotry is a necessary self-defense mechanism?
Amazingly, cartoonist Tom Toles is showing more journalistic integrity than any of the Washington Post’s editors (via the good Dr. A):
Can I get one “heh” and one “indeed,” por favor?
And the estimable Mr. Greenwald points us to this horrifying chat transcript with Lois Romano, the WaPo’s national political reporter:
Obama and “the rumors”: Lois: I object to today’s story in The Post talking about the “rumors” floating around that Obama is Muslim. It is simply inaccurate and poor reporting to call them rumors. They are false claims. Obama is not a Muslim; calling them rumors gives them credence. In fact, even using the phrase “Obama’s Muslim ties” is debatable. Having a stepfather who did “occasionally attend services” at a mosque and having a Muslim grandfather who lived on the other side of the world are pretty slim “ties.” Why is The Post perpetuating these unfair attacks?
Lois Romano: We are getting many questions of our story on Obama today. I’ll try to address this as best I can. These are always very difficult decisions– how to address something that people are talking about, that has clearly become a factor in the race, without taking a position.
Above: Disagreements exist regarding hollowness of Earth
By “people,” she means “crazy assholes.” By “talking,” she means “posting crazy shit on a damn Internet forum.”
Part of our job is to acknowledge that there is a discussion going on and to fact check and lay out the facts. The Internet has complicated this responsibility because there is so much garbage and falsehoods out there.
Well duh. And CNN, of all places, had already debunked these rumors. Why bother revisiting crazy shit that’s already been debunked by a damn cable news network? Does the Post blow this many goats?
This discussion has reached a high pitch on the Internet and our editors decided it was in the readers interest to address it.
Again, I refer you to the Hollow Earth crowd. They’d like to have their story plastered on page 1 of what used to be America’s most reputable newspaper as well.
I have heard people say that they won’t support Sen. Obama because they read he doesn’t put is hand over his heart during the Pledge of Allegiance. He has denied this– so airing some of this and giving him a chance to deny its accuracy could be viewed as setting the record straight.
Lovely. Next week you should do a story about the allegations flying around that Bush withdrew the Harriet Miers Supreme Court nomination because she was Hitlery KKKliNtoN’s seKKKret l0v3r. Bloody losers.
Can it be that I really haven’t posted anything since Thanksgiving? Something about the combination of L-tryptophan and a warm sense of gratitude towards my fellow man must have made me reluctant to comb through the right-wing blogs. Still, I have a job to do, and I can’t let feelings of nausea and the sound of Tom Tancredo’s voice keep me from…
I saw it written and I saw it say
…holy hell! What was that? Did you people see that? It was like — I — oh, never mind. The cold weather’s starting to get to me. And by “cold weather” I mean “gargantuan intake of zoot weed.” All right, back to work. Let’s see…oh, look! Fudgehammer finally got around to posting the Constitutional amendment outlawing Islam that had the whole rest of the right-wing blogosphere popping little genocide boners about a year ago. Fudgy’s always good for a laugh. But I feel like I’ve really already done that topic, and…
Pink Noonan is on his way
All right, that’s it. No more Windex martinis for me after 8PM. Anyway, since then, Fudgehammer’s already moved on to the terrifying news that Islam is now the third-largest religion in Ireland, with Christians outnumbering Muslims by a mere 135:1. So I guess I should let him fret over that for a while and move on to someone else. Someone we haven’t checked in on for a while. Someone who’s always got something intelligent to say. Someone like…like…
And none of you stand so tall
Of course! Mark Noonan! The heroic, caterpillar-browed toad-licker of Blogs for Bush Victory! And it seems he’s feeling a little…pink.
Being gay is not wrong - it is not a sin to be gay; given this, there should be no objection to having gay Americans serve in the United States military.
Mark seems to be suggesting here that if you do things that are sins, like, say, coveting or adultery or having tattoos or eating pelicans, you shouldn’t be able to serve in the military. (There are also those — like, say, God — who seem to think it is a sin to be gay, but I’ll leave that argument up to the people who believe in Him.)
Gay rights activists would have the objections as the mere result of anti-gay bigotry - and I’m sure that there is an element of this in the debate.
You don’t often see Mark in this generous a mood, where he’s willing to admit that prejudice against homosexuals might have something to do with homosexuals being banned from military service. Must be the holiday spirit.
However, there are practical considerations involved here. First and foremost, a generally held opinion - whether well or ill-founded - cannot be lightly set aside, especially in a democratic republic. Say what you will about it, there is a distaste for homosexual acts among the general population, even among some of those who are determined to be very tolerant in the matter. I believe this distaste is irreducible: most people who are not gay will never come around to an idea that homosexual acts are morally the same as heterosexual acts. There will always be an element of the “other” in homosexuality as far as the heterosexual population is concerned.
I know what you mean, Mark. Why, we used to have a similar problem in the service with the coloreds! I forget how we solved it, exactly.
Secondly, and in conjunction with the distaste noted above, there is the practical matter of how to regulate the relations between servicemembers. Part of the objection to having women serve in the military (an objection I share - and do keep in mind that my sister served for 8 years in the Navy, and I still feel this way) is that in the various bonds which can develope between men and women may work at cross purposes to tbe bonds necessary for unit cohesiveness. This is why even to this day women are not placed in front line combat units. Adding open homosexuality to the mix will add yet another potentional morale destroyer to the mix.
So, wait, hold up. Objection #1: We can’t have gays in the military because they gross people out. Objection #2: We can’t have gays in the military because people will fall in love with them and it will destroy unit cohesion. Which is it, there, hoss?
What General Kerr did - almost certainly at the behest of Democrats trying to score cheap points - was absurd; and as a former serving officer he knows it is. Its not just a matter of “I want it, so we will do it”.
Yeah, where would an Army general get the idea that you can just issue a command and have it be obeyed? That’s crazy!
Kerr did a bit of Democratic grandstanding, and that was a disservice to his own cause - now it is time for thoughtful people to engage in real debate over this issue.
Now ask yourselves, WaPo: is this really the sort of attention you want to get for yourselves? Do you really want to be known for publishing beyond-shoddy, smear-filled “journalism” simply because it gets a big reaction out of sane people who want to tell you how stupid you are? I mean, if you’re only looking to get higher web traffic, you could start offering us a free Page 3 Girl pic with every Dave Broder column we read (though preferably without Mr. Broder in the picture). But if you want to be known as a semi-respectable news organization, you may want to issue a statement ripping this story a new one. Just sayin’, it’s your reputation, not mine.
It’s an interesting question, and I’d like to know the answer.
Watching the unfolding train wreck that is the 2008 preznidential campaign, I’ve come to the depressing conclusion that every major candidate makes me want to throw up at least a little bit. The major Republicans spend every single one of their debates arguing over who’s the crazier asshole, while the major Democrats nearly get into fist fights over which one of them is most likely to get coveted endorsements from David Broder and Tom Friedman. What I’m really looking for is a leader who will get up on the podium and say, “I hate everything about Washington, DC. As president, my first act will be to remodel the entire Washington Monument into a grand middle finger statue in order to properly reflect the contempt and disgust I have with our political class. From the Iraq war to the FISA mess to the bankruptcy bill to the Military Commissions Act… can’t you stupid insane clowns do anything that isn’t insanely and clownishly stupid??!!”
And after he delivered that crazed tirade, he’d preferably instruct Barack Obama to forcibly implement Sharia law. Just because.
But seriously: there are times when I want to throw up my hands and say “Screw it!” and vote for a Ron Paul-Kucinich Kucinich-Paul Unity ‘08 ticket. Because while each one of them is, respectively, a wee bit flaky or crazy, I’m pretty sure they’re both sincere. Face it, folks: people who claim to have seen UFOs and who want to return America to the gold standard aren’t trying to deceive the American public by telling them what they want to hear. So when Paul and Kucinich say that they’ll end the stupid-ass Iraq war, I actually believe them, because in reality they’re saner than every damned Villager candidate who is too fearful of offending their overlords at AEI, Brookings and the Washington Post op-ed page. So bring it, peeps. Unity ‘08, starring Dennis Kucinich and Ron Paul.
Since the right-wing blogs are at full howl over the fact that some of the questions in the Republican YouTube debate were asked by identified non-Republicans, it seems pertinent to offer this clip from the Democratic YouTube debate on July 13th, by way of fostering discussion:
Any questions or comments from our right-wing pals? We’ll be sitting here eating this sandwich.
Update: One of several mega-spazztacular threads on Free Republic yields the following query:
Can you just imagine the outrage, and senate hearings, if a Hunter, or Tancredo supporter actually got to axe the Dums a question?
Their heads would explode!
posted on 11/29/2007 2:48:42 AM PST by rawcatslyentist (I’d rather be carrying a shotgun with Dick, than riding shotgun with a Kennedyl! *-0(:~{>)
Pat Sajak occasionally takes off time from drooling over Vanna White’s décolletage and writes a column for Human Winguts Online. Not surprisingly, each and every one of these columns amply demonstrates that Sajak couldn’t buy a vowel if you gave him a two hundred and fifty bucks and a cheat sheet with all five vowels. In his current column, Sajak is ranting about celebrity endorsements — well, celebrity endorsements of Democrats:
Recently, celebrity endorsements have been making news, with Oprah Winfrey saying she would campaign for Barack Obama and Barbra Streisand making the not-so-stunning announcement that she was supporting Hillary Clinton. … [B]ut the idea of choosing the Leader of the Free World based on the advice of someone who lives in the cloistered world of stardom seems a bit loony to me. …
That seems pretty sensible, Pat. It may be the most sensible thing you’ve ever said. So I guess that means you won’t be endorsing anyone, right? Not so much:
I don’t know whether Fred Thompson will ultimately prevail as the Republican Party’s nominee for President, but I find myself rooting for him.
Shorter Pat Sajak: Celebrities should just STFU. Except, of course, for me.
Oh my God, the CNN YouTube debateshowed the entire country what malignant, bonk-headed wackos we are reveals a shockingly outrageous conspiracy by CNN and YouTube not to screen questioners for party loyalty — thus totally unfairly showing the entire country what malignant, bonk-headed wackos we are.
Note: Unlike the so-called ‘blue dress girl,’ who asked an eminently reasonable question on abortion, and is being swarmed by berserk Freepers as we speak, these questioners (and most of the audience, and all of the candidates) are indeed, as far as anyone can tell, Republican:
Update: Boo-hoo! Bias in media! Here’s one that didn’t make the cut:
Above: Our pal Bryan Preston, deputy wingnut to Herself, Michelle Malkin
…And here’s a potential Democrat Party mole possibly chosen by the liberal CNN to undermine Republicans:
Madre de Dios. This is the sort of thing I expect to read in Newsmax or WorldNetDaily, not in the damn Washington Post:
Foes Use Obama’s Muslim Ties to Fuel Rumors About Him
By Perry Bacon Jr.
In his speeches and often on the Internet, the part of Sen. Barack Obama’s biography that gets the most attention is not his race but his connections to the Muslim world.
Since declaring his candidacy for president in February, Obama, a member of a congregation of the United Church of Christ in Chicago, has had to address assertions that he is a Muslim or that he had received training in Islam in Indonesia, where he lived from ages 6 to 10. While his father was an atheist and his mother did not practice religion, Obama’s stepfather did occasionally attend services at a mosque there.
Despite his denials, rumors and e-mails circulating on the Internet continue to allege that Obama (D-Ill.) is a Muslim, a “Muslim plant” in a conspiracy against America, and that, if elected president, he would take the oath of office using a Koran, rather than a Bible, as did Rep. Keith Ellison (D-Minn.), the only Muslim in Congress, when he was sworn in earlier this year. […]
The rumors about Obama have been echoed on Internet message boards and chain e-mails.
Bryan Keelin of Charleston, S.C., who works with an organization of churches there, posted on an Internet board his suspicion that Obama is a Muslim. “I assume his father instructed him on the ways of being a Muslim,” said Keelin, who described himself in an interview as a conservative Republican who will vote for former Arkansas governor Mike Huckabee.
“The Muslims have said they plan on destroying the U.S. from the inside out,” says one of the e-mails that was posted recently on a blog at BarackObama.com, the campaign’s Web site, by an Obama supporter who warned of an attempt to “Swift Boat” the candidate. “What better way to start than at the highest level, through the President of the United States, one of their own!”
I love the way this is framed: “Despite his denials, crazy assholes on the Internets are still accusing him of plotting to implement Sharia law upon being elected.”
And speaking of crazy assholes, let’s see if our old buddyFoehammer has written about Barrack Osama’s dastardly ties to the Demon Crescent. Uh-oh! It appears that he has:
In recent days I had the question posed to me: “Is Senator Barack Obama secretly a Muslim?” […]
Obama doesn’t drink. That’s a red flag, believe it or not. He does smoke though, as I mentioned before. Oops. Another red flag. Why? Well, alcohol consumption is taboo in Islam, but smoking is anything but: smoking fine, drinking baaaaad. Just coincidence? […]
The bottom line is this: Barack was influenced by Islamic teachings in his formative years (the Indonesian school in question teaches ages 6 to 12). This is not the chemical mixture for someone that I want to see holding a seat of any type in the White House.
So there you have it. The Washington Post is now giving voice to some of the craziest assholes in the entire crazy asshole world. Thanks, guys. Maybe next week you can write a science story that gives equal time to real geologists and the Hollow Earth crowd. Losers.
UPDATE: Holy crap. This turd was printed on PAGE 1 of the Post today. That entire paper needs to fire itself.
Above: Probably will not observe Hanukkah this year
While she was busy dotting her I’s, crossing her T’s, writing love letters to her Dear Retardo and apostrophizing her N’s, Marie Jon’ forgot, I think, to fix this:
Judaists on the Internet regularly post comments from nameless individuals who suggest and boast that they are willing and able to attack soft targets including shopping malls. We must remain vigilant and report suspicious activity to law enforcement authorities
[Gavin adds: Indeed, Michelle. Ab Hugh’s roundly substantial post is making a big splash!]
Above: Da Fyddy beams up sammich, smells like porkfart.
Close, but not quite. First, there’s the lack of enthusiasm. Then, the absence of direct quotes (e.g., “Blargh!! I will eat you!”) is a sign of trickery. Finally, there are no signature Miguel phrases: no “gravy beast,” “made of ham,” “melty creature,” etc. I call fake Miguel — in other words, it’s Michelle. Reached for comment via Seanbaby, the real Miguel confirmed my deduction. But he also applauded Malkin’s efforts, saying (and I quote):
It is A TRUE BASH on teh BUTTER TROLL wingnut!! ‘weighs in’! ‘tons’!! OH I DIE FROM THE JOKE!!1! IT IS TO FUNNY FOREVER!!!1!
