Jun
30
30
Fixing The Internet
[Atlas Shrugs pic commissioned by Marita, the left-wing(ed) goalie]
Jun
30
30
Mexicans Muslims Communists Negroes Are Out To Get You!
More sweet reason and sensible centrism from WFB, on a certain subject:
Jun
30
30
Oh my my, oh hell yes.
Now this is what I like to see (via B-Som):
Only two weeks after earning the Democratic nomination in a mostly civil primary election, Jim Webb dialed up the rhetoric Tuesday, verbally carpet-bombing Sen. George Allen over differences the two have on flag burning.
Allen campaign manager Dick Wadhams had accused Webb of being “beholden to liberal Washington senators” because he was against the Allen-supported flag-burning amendment to the Constitution that died in the Senate on Tuesday.
Webb considered the comments to be an attack on his patriotism because he objects to tinkering with the First Amendment.
“George Felix Allen Jr. and his bush-league lapdog, Dick Wadhams, have not earned the right to challenge Jim Webb’s position on free speech and flag burning,” Webb spokesman Steve Jarding said in a press release. “Jim Webb served and fought for our flag and what it stands for, while George Felix Allen Jr. chose to cut and run.
“When he and his disrespectful campaign puppets attack Jim Webb, they are attacking every man and woman who served. Their comments are nothing more than weak-kneed attacks by cowards.”
At last! This is how you deal with bullies, children: you sock it right back at ‘em. Watch how quickly they back off once you show them you’ll fight back:
Jun
30
30
Tick, Tock, Tacky, Tock
While I’m waiting waiting waiting for Trevino’s reply (which I’m sure, if his character — and hypocritical stance on Online Integrity — holds true, will come, if at all, with heavy insinuations about my identity), I thought I’d take the opportunity in the next few days to explore the various utterings and writings of William F. Buckley, Tacky’s ideal of decent rightism, whom Tacky regards as a hero and whose measured and nuanced and anti-paranoid stances Tacky implores the netroots to emulate on the ideological flipside.
Here, more or less at random, is a bit of Hofstadter’s thesis-defying non-paranoia from Tacky’s Ideal Centrist (From 1970):
Jun
30
30
Wiggedy-Wiggedy-Wingnut
Some more Malkrap for y’all jive turkeys:
“You can call me a racist- I been one for years,
But my nasty jeers’ll leave moonbats in tears,
I’ll make Cindy Sheehan cry like a mon-SOON,
Then laugh as tha’ cluster bombs go “BOOM!”
Explosions- in the Middle East,
Death and bloodshed are on the increase,
I won’t get strafed,
I’m sittin’ home safe,
Gettin’ paid by Richard Mellon Scaife,
Don’t you dare glare,
You better saluuuuuuuute,
Cuz I’m on wingnut welfare,
I write hateful shit, guess what happens next?
It gets published by Regnery Press! I’m gonna knock you out!
Mellon Scaife said knock you out!
I’m gonna knock you out!
Reverend Moon said knock you out!”
I think I’ve found my calling in life.
Travis adds: Def with the record, def with the record.
Thinking of a master race
With skin a shade or two lighter than my face
So I look into the past with a jaundiced eye
When every single leader was a rich old white guy
So I start my mission, rarely leave my residence
Thinkin’ how can I rep for our president?
I want money, so I’m a blogger-slash-columnist
Who takes top-down orders from a mailing list
They wanna sneak in, who let the freaks in? This ain’t no joke
Stop smilin’, Muslims wanna hurt all the white folks
But now I learned to earn cos I’m unscrup’lous
Serving as a front for the two of us
Quit both our nine to fives, spread our jive
And worry if we’ll stay alive
So I walk up the street, and spot me some clowns
Lookin’ out of place cos, man, they all brown
Speaking in tongues, they talking about us
Me and Jesse M. an’ all of the freedoms
You’ll miss after we get our wish
To establish a state entirely fascist
Cos I don’t do this simply cos I’m gettin’ paid
An’ I dig into the books full of lies that I made
To now test to see if I got pull
Lock up the Muslims, cos I’m paid in full
Check this out: Yo, you go to your girl’s house and I’ll go to mine, cos my girl is definitely mad cos it took us too long to do this post. Yo, check this out – yo, Gavin, turn the bass down and just let the beat keep on rockin’ … and we outta here.
Jun
30
30
Devastatin’ Malkin, the Turntable…um, Person Who Ought to Stop Talkin’
MIXMASTERS FOR MOHAMMEDYo, yo, yo: Don’t miss my video report on Jihad Rap.
No, I haven’t watched it. Because if MC Double-M starts busting some mad rhymes, as seems not unlikely, I’ll have to pop my eyeballs out with a spoon and stomp on them.
You just know she’d be all like, “Well, my name is Michelle, and I’m here to say…”
Bradrocket adds: “I like internment camps and I cannot lie,
You otha wingnuts can’t deny,
That openin’ camps to lock up Japs,
And anyone you don’t like makes you get sprung,
And then you feel tough,
‘Cuz you noticed them camps was stuffed,
Full of brown and yellows peeps,
To make them left-wing pussies weep,
But take the average white guy and and ask him that,
He gotta love them camps!
So if ya wanna put up fences,
To contain the yellow menace,
Dial 1-900-MALK-A-LOT,
And indulge them racist thoughts,
Malkin love camps!
Yeah, baby, when it comes to choosing a cell size,
Geneva ain’t got nothin’ to do with my selection,
12-by-14? Huh! Only if the height’s three-foot-three!”
Jun
30
30
Poaching on someone’s territory, no doubt
Ring-ring. Hello? It’s Powerline.
June 29, 2006
Poaching On My Partner’s TerritoryWhen I was a kid, my older brother was a rock ‘n roll drummer of some note, whereas I–you’ll be shocked to learn–was a hopeless geek. In those days, I learned to regard Gene Krupa as the paradigm of drumming coolness. Now, through the miracle of YouTube, here he is.
Music is, of course, Scott’s bailiwick, but I can’t resist this brief intrusion.
Posted by John at 11:17 PM
Hey, hold on one single, solitary second here. That’s the Krupa video we posted.
Brad, did you leave the subspace mind-control wave generator on again last night? That thing totally romps on the electric bill.
Jun
30
30
It’s not the side effects of the cognac, I’m thinking that it must be war
Last night my wife and I were talking about her cousin, who returned in February from a yearlong stint in Iraq. We’ll be seeing him Saturday, at the welcome-home party his mom’s throwing.
My wife mentioned this yesterday to a professional acquaintance, who dropped her voice and asked about him with the pinched sincerity normally reserved for inquiries about cancer patients or young widows. He returned physically intact, my wife told the woman, but her concern touched my wife and made her like the acquaintance more.
Somewhat strangely enough, this exchange led my wife to believe that the woman opposed the war. Of course, most people these days do, in one way or another, so that’s not terribly unusual. But I knew exactly what she meant and – maybe it was because we were drinking Grand Marnier at the time – the realization seemed particularly illuminative. Someone who unquestioningly supports the war and its prosecution, someone who draws comfort from the idea that our troops were off fighting on the other side of the world might, the cognac encouraged me to believe, have reacted by asking my wife how proud she was, or asking if her cousin would participate in any Fourth of July events or something along those lines.
Jun
29
29
How Old is David Broder Again?
For someone who looks like he’s 194 years old, David Broder writes like he was born yesterday:
The situation the United States and its allies face in Afghanistan and Iraq is one almost without precedent. In two countries where we used our military might to rout the menacing dictatorial regimes running things, we now find ourselves sponsoring governments with notably shaky holds on popular support.
Gee whiz, you mean we’re propping up ineffective and unpopular puppet regimes in foreign countries? My God, that is totally unprecedented!
Gavin adds: It’s also cool how he sticks the word, ‘menacing,’ in there. Saddam Hussein stopped being referred to as a ‘threat’ some time ago, after it became common knowledge that there were no WMDs, and quietly became a ‘menace’ instead.
“Hiya, Mr. Broder! Whatcha doin’?”
Jun
29
29
In Praise of Robert Somerby
Yeah, yeah, I know Bob Somerby writes about the abject clowning of our press corps during the 2000 election every damn day, but this is still worth reading. Some highlights:
What a remarkable set of judgments! According to San Francisco’s largest paper, Bush was the “overall victor� because he didn’t embarrass himself! According to the leading pundit in Philadelphia’s largest paper, Bush may have done better than Gore because he didn’t mangle his sentences! [...] (New York Daily News columnist Michael) Kramer said that Bush was “the winner,� offering this as part of his logic: “Bush, although clearly less knowledgeable on most issues…spoke in a soothing, conversational tone that helped answer lingering doubts about his ability to be president.� Was Bush being held to “a very low standard?� To Kramer, Bush countered doubts about his qualifications by speaking in a conversational tone! Bush had been “clearly less knowledgeable�— but soothing! [...] Consider the lead editorial in the Charlotte Observer. “Certainly Mr. Gore dominated the event,� the paper wrote. “While the vice president’s command of a wide range of issues was impressive, Mr. Bush at times seemed timid and unfocused, unable to pursue discussions of some issues beyond a couple of key points.� But so what? “Expectations for Mr. Bush were low from the outset,� the paper explained, “and to many viewers he exceeded them.�
The evidence that our entire press corps is run by self-impressed idiots is considerable. I’m not sure how to fix this. Maybe Bob will offer some suggestions if he ever stops ranting about the corps’ abject clowning in 2000 and writes more about the press corps today.
Jun
29
29
It’s funny because it’s true
Day By Day* gets it right yet again.
*Featuring 50% authentic Day By Day dialogue.
Jun
29
29
Everybody Loves Swank
It’s been a while since Pastor Swank has written a column as brilliant as this one:
WARREN BUFFET to BILL GATES: BILLIONS TO KILL INFANTS
J. Grant Swank, Jr.The Warren Buffet donation of billions to Bill Gates means killing womb babies agencies will get more money to kill womb babies.
That’s funny, because my killing womb baby agent has stopped returning my calls. Maybe he’s too busy rolling around in his kill womb baby funds.
Gates and wife have been at the forefront of murdering children in females’ wombs.
It’s amazing how Gates found time to kill all those womb babies while he was running one of the most successful companies of all time. I guess that’s the kind of drive it takes to be a success in this country.
Now the Buffet donation will enhance all the more the abortuaries. In other words, more humans without self-defense will be discarded, their souls making their ways into the loving arms of Jesus.
That doesn’t sound like such an awful fate- why are you against killing womb babies again?
Jun
29
29
Humbled…
Can any rock drummer legitimately blaze past this shit? I don’t know, man. It makes you feel bad inside.
(Wait for the drums to come in. Krupa dances around in his white shirtsleeves before he grabs the sticks and hits it.)
Gene Krupa – ‘A Good Time’ (1:33)
That 1930s bastard!
Jun
28
28
Ticky, Tacky – D’oh!
Via Roy Edroso I see that the Artist Formerly Known As Tacitus is engaging in some projection and dishonest revisionism all in one typically humorless, tumbleweed-bouncing, blowhard-a-thon of a post.
The Marble Douchebag argues that the netroots, by which he means the Left blogosphere, is a mirror-image of the old John Birch Society, the insanely paranoid extremist group whose direct influence on the conservative Right was considerable in the period from the mid-50s to the mid-60s.
Part of the unintended joke here is that Josh Trevino himself would feel right at home at the average Birch chapter meeting of 1963 or so, but we’ll leave that aside, because it gets better. Tacky further argues that the Birchers — particularly JBS leader Robert Welch — were seen by the “decent right” as too pessimistic, and so were read out of the movement by noble and decent rightwingers like William F. Buckley. In contrast, the netroots have no decent Buckley analog; in fact, they are lead by the most craven and despicable personage evar!!! — Kos. (Yes, you knew it’d come to that: Kos is now and always has been the great white whale to Tacitus’s clumsy and cretinous Ahab.) Would that the netroots had a Buckley! But no! Why, the netroots are so evil that they cling to this crazy Kos person at the expense of more sensible alternatives, like those offered in the pages of The New Republic!
Jun
28
28
Two-Minute Townhall
Boys say, “When is he gonna give us some room?” Girls say, “God, I hope he comes back soon.”
Shorter Megan Basham: Although the new Superman movie neglects the third clause of the superhero’s promise to protect “truth, justice and the American way,” the filmmakers make up for thir oversight by employing some obvious comparisons to Christ.
Shorter Cal Thomas: Freedom of speech is a nice idea, in theory. But then, so is prosecuting reporters for treason.
Shorter Jonah Goldberg: The media undermine efforts to protect national security by exposing secret programs that most Americans already assume are in operation.
Shorter Ben Shapiro: Our flag is not merely a piece of cloth, but the Constitution is simply a piece of paper with some lofty words written on it.
Shorter Linda Chavez: It’s time to purge our government of officials who harm national security with their disloyalty to the president.
Shorter Cam Edwards: Thanks to brave Americans like John Bolton, the UN won’t be taking your guns just yet. To learn more, tune in to my radio program.
Shorter Michelle Malkin: Journalists commit their treachery by exploiting weaknesses built into the Constitution.
Shorter Brent Bozell: The media should report both sides of the WMD controversy, and let viewers make up their own minds.
Shorter Terence Jeffrey: Oh, don’t go get me wrong. They’re fine people, they’re good Americans. But they’re content to sit back, maybe debate a flag-burning amendment, maybe consider a gay marriage ban. They’re good, fine people, Stuart. But they don’t know what the Mexicans are doing beneath the soil.
Shorter Tony Blankley: If we nuked Iraq, we’d gain the early exit craved by limp-wristed Democrats and the triumphant victory demanded by Republicans.
Shorter John Stossel: All discrimination lawsuits are as farcical as the one brought by the man who didn’t get hired at Hooters.
Shorter Kathleen Parker: Many Republicans, including a Congressman, have accused the New York Times of treason but, on the other hand, some liberals out there have said that Bush is evil. I’ll just wait here, above the fray, until someone with a cool head comes along to rescue us.
Shorter Alan Reynolds: As a libertarian, I think it’s outrageous that Michigan would bar pot smokers from legally driving.
Jun
28
28
Embed Disabled By Request
It says that embedded Atlas Shrugs YouTube video is disabled by request. Golly, why?
But links work! Here’s Pamela!
Ambassador Bolton calling; please hold for Ambassador Bolton.
[Catch and screen-grab from Marita.]
Retardo adds: Empire strikes back, Media Matters! And just when you thought you had the upper hand. Once again, Sadly, No! Inc. Ltd. NGO .org International displays its superior wingnut-presentation skillz!
Jun
28
28
Drunken Vainglory
Courtesy of Sonic in comments, Alexander Cockburn’s latest Hitchens gossip:
The recent memorial for long-term New York Review co-editor Barbara Epstein, sadly felled by cancer on June 15, was disfigured by an unseemly outbursts from Christopher Hitchens. There was a list of invitees for the private ceremony and C. Hitchens — a sometime NYT contributor  was not on the list. He implored to be admitted, and some misguidedly decent soul gave him the green light.
Visibly taken with drink, in the estimate of at least one observer, Hitchens showed up and soon made his way to Jean Stein, a close friend of Barbara Epstein, also editor of Grand Street in recent years. Hitchens spared Stein the habitual presentation of his hairy cheek but made a low, facetious bow and offered his hand.
Stein icily declined, saying she had no desire to shake hands with him for many reasons, not least the fact that Hitchens had attacked one of her best friends, Edward Said, while he was on his death bed.
As Hitchens retreated, someone remarked to him, “So your glorious war has turned out to be a total disaster, hasn’t it?”
“It is glorious,” the sodden scrivener blared, “and it IS my war because it needed Paul Wolfowitz and myself to go and convince the President to go to war.”
As mourners digested this megalomanic outburst, Hitchens continued, “And we are going to kill every Al Qaida terrist and Baathist in the country and that’s a good thing. They need to be killed and we will kill them.”
If this account is true (and there really is no reason to think it’s not), then Sonic is right: it changes things. We were wrong — Hitchens was not the opportunistic jackass journalist we’d thought; he was an active instigator.
Forgive me, but this makes him even more interesting — though of course in a very morbid sense. With Cockburn’s latest bit of information it is clear that the arc of Hitchens’s career is even more classically tragic than we’d thought. How did Hitchens get to this point? What or who caused his Darth Vader-ish turn? When, precisely, did he go “David Horowitz”?
Jun
28
28
Oh My, How Odd.
Since the President came out and blasted the NY Times for endangering national security by reporting that the government was…you know, bank transactions and all that, with no oversight, like a runaway train never goin’ back, wrong way on a one-way track, the sounds of peepers and crickets have settled in at Chumpline and Malkin.com.
Relative peepers and crickets: Malkin is reduced to hate-blasting anti-war demonstrators, while Powerline is in its usual between-issues paper-shuffling mode.
Hm. What’s up at Little Green Footballs?
Sure guys, Scaree Moozlumzz, whatever.
Now why (I say) why is it that these big right-blogs will simultaneously snap onto an issue, raising a shriek-chorus against Mexicans and immigrants, against John Murtha and ‘cutting-and-running’ in Iraq, against the NY Times, or any of a number of others, always in advance of a big speech by the President or a big GOP ruckus in the House or Senate — and after which the issue immediately goes to the back burner?
Howhowhow? How could this be? It strains one’s powers of comprehension.
Jun
28
28
Mr. Toady’s Wild Ride
What’s that buttery smell? Oh, it’s Powerline:
My favorite ambassador, take 2
On Monday night I quickly wrote up my account of the telephone interview that afternoon with United States Ambassador to the United Nations John Bolton in “My favorite ambassador.” I was a little diffident about sharing my enthusiasm for Ambassador Bolton so bluntly, but I obviously overcame my reluctance. Also on the call with me were Jay Nordlinger of National Review, Tom Bevan of RealClearPolitics and Pamela of Atlas Shrugs. Their accounts of the interview are linked at their names above.
Jay Nordlinger concludes his report: “How long has it been since I said how lucky we are to have John Bolton as U.N. ambassador, and George W. Bush as a president willing to appoint such men to such posts? Couple of days? Please consider it reiterated.” Tom Bevan titles his column on the interview “Lightning Bolton.” Pamela posts her recording of the interview and includes a Bolton quote I’d forgotten to note regarding the depredations of UN Deputy Secretary-General Mark Malloch Brown: “The US will not be a well-bred doormat.” There you have it!
Posted by Scott at 06:47 AM | Permalink
On the other hand, buy him a wine cooler and spin him around the block in a black limo, and Scott Johnson will have his legs in the air faster than you can say “F’shizzle.”
Bonus Pamela:
What did I come away with? Frankly, Iran is the crushing issue of the day. There is no way, no way, the enormity of the threat of that kind of government getting their hands on nuclear weapons can be underestimated.
She means ‘overestimated’ (she gets a pass on ‘enormity’), but this is also a woman who thinks that boldface and stabbing the period key are punctuation tools of first resort………..and who write’s in little blasts……….of angry thoughts…………that make sense only if you imagine them coming in a shriek………from an aging, histrionic New York JAP……..who want’s teh Muslim’s………..killed dead die kill dead!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ambassador Bolton is calling; please hold for Ambassador Bolton.
Jun
28
28
Oh Yeah, Media Matters? Well, Have Some of This
All right, Media Matters, I admit it. A clip and transcript of a wingnut who cites War Nerd, volunteers to give up everyone’s civil liberties, and accuses the press of stabbing us in the back, is pretty fucking impressive. It’s almost as good as your clip and transcript the other day of Bill O’Reilly’s most hilariously explosive batshittery since he shattered poor C-SPAN’s fragile mics with a bellowing “Shuuuuuuuut upp!” directed at a stunned Al Franken. So yeah, Media Matters: big props.
But don’t let it go to your head. What you accomplish in your fancy New York[1] DC offices (no doubt while snacking on the foie gras with which George Soros keeps the vending machines stuffed), with your billion-dollar bankroll, and media-insider connections — Hah! All that, and you can barely keep up with what we at S,N! regularly accomplish with a little snark and around-the-clock manning of the finest set of string and cans!!!
So sure, you have Glenn Beck. Well, we have Adam Yoshida. You have “Libertarian” Neal Boortz. Ahh, but we have self-described “classical liberal” Jeff Goldstein. (And does Boortz threaten to slap people with his cock? Disadvantage: Media Matters!) You have Laura Ingraham? We have Marie Jon’, who’s ten times hotter and at least three times as goofy.*
What’s that you say? Oh. You… have…. Ann Coulter? Oh, that’s quite impressive. Oh, we might have to concede defeat. Oh, yes Ann Coulter: the most extreme wingnut bimbot for sure….
