Jul
31
Posted at 19:30 by Sadly, No!
Alone, in the bunker. Thanks to a random wingnut link (our guess would be NewsMax,) we find out:
WHAT TO DO IF A NUCLEAR DISASTER IS IMMINENT!
The helpful online guide answers its own question since it instructs you not only on what to do if but it adds that you should do all of it right now. Because a nuclear disaster is imminent. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
Where to start? According to the helpful guide, you should follow the advice of The Clash:
You must decide FIRST if you need to prepare where you are, or attempt evacuation.
If you go, there will be trouble. But if you stay, it will be double.
Read the rest of this entry »
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Jul
31
Posted at 4:57 by Gavin M.
Those rassin’-frass, frick-a-frack, flap-jabbin’… Ooooh! (The burn, the burn!)
http://www.internetrumormill.com/sadlyyes.html
[more here in a bit. honestly though, how dare they assume we're not gay? also, you have to admit: they're getting better at the inflammatory Nat'l Lampoon humor-thing.]
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Jul
30
Posted at 22:31 by Gavin M.
Huffing mustache guy Frank Salvato demonstrates the basic technique in his latest editorial at The Rant.
Vietnam War protest hero John Kerry recently called on the White House to release ?in their entirety? all of Supreme Court nominee John Roberts? records as they pertain to his public service. “We cannot do our duty if either Judge Roberts or the Bush administration hides elements of his professional record,” Kerry said.
And now watch the turnaround…
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Jul
30
Posted at 7:24 by Gavin M.
Thready McThreadington…
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Jul
29
Posted at 19:01 by Brad
Well, S.Z. held voting for the Low-Rent Ultimate Wingnut Contest today, and alas, it looks like Debbie Daniel will soon be kicked off the island.
While Debbie’s latest column is admittedly lackluster, we should remember that in her prime, Debbie could wingnut with the best of ‘em. In honor of her fine contributions to wingnuttery over the last couple of years, here is a Debbie Daniel career retrospective.
Let’s go back to where it all began and read Debbie’s first column for GOPUSA:
I’ve been listening to both sides of this immigration issue and I’ve come to the conclusion that the only way to handle this problem is to line up every willing and able American, arm in arm, across our entire border and shoot to kill.
And with that unhinged expression of homicidal rage, a wingnut legend was born.
Read the rest of this entry »
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Jul
29
Posted at 6:20 by Gavin M.
From probably a dozen places all at once (Chron Watch, American Daily, the Rant, People Pa-whatsis, and other low-rent wingsheets all tend to publish the same twenty columnists), Lee Ellis lays it down.
Lee Ellis, cranky old guy, used to work for CBS
The March of the Left VS the March of the Penguins,
By Lee Ellis
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Jul
29
Posted at 0:42 by Brad
In the comments, Marie Jon’ writes:
You miserable bunch of Anti American low life. You sit and complain and joke! I have Sadly No respect for you or your bankrupt socialistic party of losers who are near seditious in behavior and words. Now you have just heard the WORD! ” The world loves it’s own.” There is no spirit here in this bog other than sheer contempt for God and the USA!
Now c’mon, Marie- we enjoyed your spirited parody earlier today, and we were starting to think that you had a sense of humor. In fact, we were so impressed by your use of foul language, that we almost mistook you for one of our own!
C’mere, give us a hug, eh? Can we get a hug?
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Jul
28
Posted at 22:04 by Brad
Pastor Swank’s been awfully busy the last coupla days. For your reading enjoyment, here’s a summary:
Column #1: DON’T ADD YOGA TO CHRISTIAN PRAYERS
If yoga were a part of Christian prayer life, the Bible would have instructed Christians in yoga. Therefore, taking yoga into a so-called Christian prayer is nonsense and may be worse. It could open the spirit to demonic spirits.
So not only does yoga have the power to obliterate your groin, but it can lead to demonic possession too. And if you don’t believe it, take a look at this guy:
Read the rest of this entry »
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Jul
28
Posted at 19:14 by Gavin M.
It burns, it burns!
Added by Jeff Seb: We suspect this is the “closes” Marie Jon’? will ever get to making a funny.
[Update of a previous update -- our picture-switching trick on Marie's page has now been foiled. Foiled, I say!]
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Jul
27
Posted at 21:58 by Sadly, No!
Without using Google, who can guess what, or who, is being discussed here:
Though [they] provide amusement for a few minutes, their repertoire is severely limited. And aside from the activity of [...] in their fecally-laced [...], [they] spend most of their time just standing around.
Richard Perle and David Frum are not the answer!
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Jul
27
Posted at 19:22 by Brad
The Virgin Ben takes a decidedly fascist turn in his latest column. If he keeps it up, I’m gonna start calling him the TaliBen:
The American Civil Liberties Union focuses far more on preventing effective law enforcement than on protecting American lives. Its incessant complaints about the treatment of Guantanamo Bay detainees has undermined the moral authority of the American military, despite the fact that treatment has been more than adequate under the circumstances. Its obsession with “exposing” as many Abu Ghraib images as possible is designed as a direct attack on American soldiers abroad [...] But civil libertarian absolutists will continue to assault America’s safety in favor of American “liberties.” Myopic civil libertarians ignore the simple fact that effective law enforcement is the best way to promote civil liberties.
And according to Ben, effective law enforcement entails ignoring law enforcement guidelines. Let’s recall what he said about Abu Ghraib last year (via TBogg, emphasis added):
Read the rest of this entry »
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Jul
26
Posted at 22:46 by Brad
Let’s say terrorists nuke an American city. What’s the best way to respond? I think alicublog’s got the right idea:
Global Toby Keith Network — U.S. jams all radio signals worldwide, forces planet to listen to jingoistic new country tunes (such as “Grandma’s Glowin’, So I’m Goin’ to War,” “Kiss My Radiation-Damaged Ass,” etc.) commissioned by the National Endowment for the Arts.
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Jul
26
Posted at 20:45 by Gavin M.
…our SadNo staff and their dread cat minions, they were being attacked by Skippy the Bush Kangaroo in a battle-mech suit.
“ha ha! i am going to give you a million hits…in your pants!”
Read the rest of this entry »
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Jul
26
Posted at 20:30 by Brad
Over at Renew America, Cynthia “Gays Are Not Gays” Janak has developed an ingenius plan to deter terrorists from bombing subways- ARM EVERYONE:
What if a terrorist goes into the subway with a backpack and the law-abiding citizen is armed? The terrorist puts the bag down and tries to walk away. The law-abiding citizens are able to stop the terrorist in his tracks and call the police on their cell phones. The law-abiding citizens restrain the terrorist and leave the subway while the bomb is being defused.
So if any of your fellow subway passengers put down their bags, pull a gun on them. Of course, people will think you’re some crazy mugger, and they’ll probably respond by pulling their guns on you. Pretty soon, the whole subway looks something like this:
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Jul
26
Posted at 18:58 by Sadly, No!
An article bearing the headline:
Iraqis Optimistic on Constitution Deadline
begins thusly:
A sigh of relief could be heard around Washington, D.C. Monday as 12 Sunni Arabs (search) agreed to return to the negotiating table in Iraq[.]
and continues:
U.S. officials had maintained an optimist outlook that minority Muslim faction would meet its goals despite last week’s violence against constitution drafters and a boycott of talks by Sunnis demanding increased protection[.]
meanwhile, back in Washington:
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Jul
26
Posted at 7:59 by Gavin M.
Yes, we don’t recognize “Sadly No” because they are so incredibly left-wing. You could write that the sky is blue and they would say, “Sadly No.”
Don’t waste your time with that BS.
Gee, are you bad people! Oh, my goodness I am in tears because you do not approve of me! So sad! “Can’t we just get all along?” A Rodney King quote GET LOST TROUBLE MAKERS! 175 hits? WOW!!!!!
Wha? Oh, hi Marie. (That’s Marie from Peoplepolitical.org.) Anyway, “175 hits” refers to this:
That’s the Feedburner RSS-subscriber thingy on the right of the page. However, if you scroll down to the Site Meter link, you’ll find instead that
SADLY, NO!
HAS JUST REACHED
1,000,000 VISITORS!
(since Seb added Site Meter sometime in ‘04).
[Happy little Sadly! dance]
Anyway, Marie, the sky is blue, and please enjoy the exhilarating feeling of a trout in your nose.
==Bonus update, featuring bonus wingnut projection and made-up claims of wingnut victimhood==
http://sadlyno.com/archives/001515.html
This will be sent to appropriate people. You have all stepped over the line. Your lascivious filthy web blog is in big trouble. You have made personal threats to me. I do not take my personal safety as joke from people that are emotionally unstable.
Marie and her family.
Hello, police? The liberals are making fun of my spelling and grammar. Yes, officer, it’s almost like a personal threat against my personal safety. What? But they’re liberals — can’t you just arrest them anyway? Agh! Daddy! [tantrum]
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Jul
25
Posted at 23:11 by Gavin M.
Seb just set up new contact addresses, and golly, what’s the first thing that pops up?
While looking for Marie Jon’ who is all over the Internet I came upon your site. Your site that only was given any recognition because of a very gorgeous looking and talented Marie. A mere blog on the Internet! You have balls and they are not between your legs! If nothing she is doing thing that jerks as you have no understanding of.
Well, Sadly, No!
…It’s no fun when it’s just handed to you like that, btw. But there seems no better time than the present to see what’s up at our sister site, Peeplepolictical Pooplepolicital Beeple… BabbleBobbleBoo… (ahem) PeoplePolitical.org, for whom we (including Jeff-Perado) now serve practically as full-time, uncredited spell-checkers and proofreaders.
Read the rest of this entry »
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Jul
25
Posted at 20:47 by Sadly, No!
So sayeth Star “Not Jones” Parker:
Now I fear that our family’s legacy is not secure. The government can show up in the night _ in a fashion not all that different from the world of Saddam Hussein that our American troops have fought and died to depose _ to take away our property.
Which is exactly what happened in Connecticut. Exactly.
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Jul
25
Posted at 3:48 by Brad
In the first two chapters of Porn Generation, our intrepid virgin hero expounds that everyone under the age of 30 is an STD-ridden ho-bag. The next five chapters explore this theme further, as we learn that professors and celebrities are all ho-bags too.
Read the rest of this entry »
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Jul
24
Posted at 7:45 by Gavin M.
This. It’s not exactly news to those who read the blogs (or attend to Hersh), and neither is the coverup — although the violation of the court order is less than a day old.
But a tiny little corner of irony that intrudes into the affair, unheralded, is that John A. of Americablog is gay — and that this item comes directly amidst a time in which gay, male Americans are being slandered by the right as ‘pedophiles,’ and by extension, rapists.
Insert smiley, safely-ironic emoticon for “bashing Republicans’ brains out with a log.”
And a shot of Maker’s Mark for John, who also gets the next jukebox pick. (Our last was Donnie Iris’s “Ah, Leah” — fer which no comment aesthetically.)
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