That is so totally like what the Nazis would do!

Living in Germany, one can see lots of reminders, big and small, of the things Nazis did. Some might argue the concentration camps and their millions of victims stand out. Others might argue that starting a war that saw tens of millions lose their lives was no great feat either.

If you ask Kerry L. Marsala however, she’ll tell you that the worse thing the Nazis ever did was their slightly less well-known scheme of causing potassium imbalances in unsuspecting victims, leading them to suffer a heart attack which in turn caused brain damage due to lack of oxygen, only so they can later be given percutaneous endoscopic gastrostomy (PEG) to provide nutrition and hydration and kept on life support machines for 15 years in a permanent vegetative state, after which the PEG tube is removed according to your wishes (as determined in court proceedings:)

As an innocent life slips away through methods used by those of Nazi Germany, the spinning heads of the media circus continue to flap their lips over the case of Terri Schiavo…and nothing within this mess makes any sense.

Kerry to the rescue! Her punctuation may never make sense, but the arguments are always sound:

Parents who love their children today in the United States have had all their rights stripped from them by a system gone mad.

Fortunately, we don’t have children. And we can promise you that when we do (June 18, 2005) we are going to hate them with a vengeance! Which means our rights are safe — thank God the system works!

I shutter to think of what our future holds, now more than ever.

Leave it to the shuttering classes to be our leading beacons of nabobs of negativism. Sons of bitches!

Terri, Mr. and Mrs. Schindler and family, you’ve moved the masses to action. Terri, you never intended to become such an important figure to the American people, nor to the world, but you’ve left your mark on this planet.

Kerry, the people of the world, they’re not crying with you, they’re crying at you.

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I Predict a Riot

(UPDATE!!! We got video!!)

Via Drudge, we learn that Ann Coulter’s still getting heckled at her university lectures:

Above: Ann threatens to crush liberals with her genetically-engineered bionic man hands.

Ann Coulter causes stir at KU Heckling, standing ovations interrupt right-wing commentator

By Mike Belt, Journal-World

Conservative columnist and author Ann Coulter was greeted with a mixture of standing ovations and heckling after she took center stage Tuesday night at Kansas University’s Lied Center.

Ann Coulter talking at the Lied Center… if that ain’t poetic justice, I don’t know what is…

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I KNEW It!!

Mr. Smith acknowledges me in his latest column (emphasis added):

From the land of fake boobs and real a**holes, leftists should just follow the MTV polls and change the constitution so that Ozzy can finally be recognized as their true leader.

As you no doubt remember, I advocated making Ozzy a party leader just the other week.

The cat-and-mouse game can only continue for so long, “Mr. Smith…” I WILL discover your secret identity, one way or another…

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The Culture of Death: Looking Better Every Day

I’ve always enjoyed life, but reading Dennis Prager’s latest column makes me want to send $20 to NARAL so I can get their complimentary "Culture of Death" tote bag:

Choose life: The case for Judeo-Christian values: IX

Dennis Prager

There are good people on both sides of the Terri Schiavo tragedy, but chances are that if you affirm Judeo-Christian values, you have opposed pulling the feeding tubes from the severely brain damaged woman’s body.

Why?

Because Dennis and his New Christian Overlords are right about everything, including creation science, while the rest of us deluded secularists are obsessed with death and sodomy (and we’re going to hell to boot!).

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I Repeat: Who Is “Mr. Smith?”

Well, no one’s admitted to being “Mr. Smith” yet. I was going to let it drop, but this week he published a column even stupider than his last effort. I think the bastard’s toying with me, trying to make me go mad guessing his secret identity.

Let’s survey this week’s damage:

Old News in Colorado
Mr. Smith

If the interminable faux Indian Ward Churchill had lived in Colorado circa 1864, you can bet that his first trick would be to shape-shift out of his affirmative action disguise as rapidly as possible. Back issues of the Register-Call newspaper in Central City Colorado and the Miner’s Daily Register tell a true story from another day and time that shows just how far the wimping down of America has progressed.

See, most wingnuts yearn for the innocent days of the 1950s, when everyone spent their Saturdays bowling, vegetarians were regularly jailed, and the clitoral orgasm was an unseemly art practiced only by pagans and communists.

Not Mr. Smith. He yearns for the ’60s- the 1860s…
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The Moment We’ve All Been Waiting for: Kaye Grogan on Terri Schiavo

I said I wasn’t going to blog about Terri Schiavo, but that was before Kaye Grogan wrote THE definitive column on the whole sad saga. Let’s take a look:

To those responsible for denying Terri water
Kaye Grogan
March 25, 2005

Playing God is not going to work. Sooner or later, the ones daring enough to say when it’s time to pull the plug on ill patients or liberal judges who think they have the right to order feeding tubes be removed, will one day see they overstepped their boundaries.

So I guess we should just keep everybody on life support for as long as we can, regardless of their condition or wishes, because pulling the plug would be “playing God,” which is something the Founding Fathers never intended. Of course, when the Founding Fathers were alive, people in Terri Schiavo’s condition would have been left for dead anyway, so maybe keeping Terri alive is “playing God” too. We should repeal the last 225 years of medical advances just to be sure.
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Who is “Mr. Smith?”

I think we’ve found Stanton Carlisle’s heir apparent, and his name is “Mr. Smith.”

Here are some highlights from his latest piece:

Psycho Ward Churchill Would Be Proud

Mr. Smith

Brace yourselves for the national socialist Democrat disinformation campaign that will inevitably follow the school murders in Minnesota. And check the facts. Indian reservations vote overwhelmingly for Democrats. Ask Tom Daschle. And Nazi is just an abbreviation for National Socialism, the doctrine of the leftist Democrat party…

Democrats prefer that their victims be defenseless. After all, if Juanita Broddrick had shot a rapist in Arkansas, history might have been changed. And if Vince Foster had actually owned that firearm found by his body, he might be alive today…

If no voting machines were placed on this Chippewa reservation, you’d hear lots of screaming about how having the right to vote was a vacuous promise to people who were denied the means to vote. Democrats don’t come right out and deny Americans the right to self defense, but they sure are hell bent on denying us all the means to defend ourselves…

Now: I’ve seen plenty of wingnuts rant about gun control. I’ve seen them make weirdly nasty remarks about Native Americans. I’ve seen them rave about Vince Foster being “murdered.” I’ve even seen them equate Democrats with Nazism.

But I’ll be darned if I’ve ever seen all four of those things in the same goddamn article.

This is just too wingnutty to be real. Come on, guys, game over: which one of you is “Mr. Smith?” I’ve already grilled Seb about it and he swears it isn’t him (not that Seb would ever submit loony columns to The Rant under a pseudonym or anything).

I know it has to be one of you guys. The Rant gets half of its traffic from Sadly, No! and World O’ Crap anyway. So fess up! Which one of you is Mr. Smith? Yosef, I’m looking at you…

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Thanks for asking!

David “The Lion’s Share” Frum asks:

Did Maureen Dowd of the New York Times really compare Terri Schiavo to the corpse in the weird-teen comedy, “Weekend with Bernie?” [sic]

The answer is:

The scene on Capitol Hill this past week has been almost as absurdly macabre as the movie “Weekend at Bernie’s,” with Tom DeLay and Bill Frist propping up between them this poor woman in a vegetative state to indulge their own political agendas.

We copy and paste, you decide.

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My wallet’s gone! My wallet’s gone!

RIP, Barney Martin:

LOS ANGELES (Zap2it.com) Barney Martin, who played Jerry Seinfeld’s father Morty on more than 20 episodes of “Seinfeld,” died on Monday (March 21) at the age of 82.

According to The Hollywood Reporter, Martin suffered from cancer.

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Back Again

Since Seb’s still recovering from his double-penis operation, he’s asked me to stick around for a while to help keep Sadly, No! fresh and AbsorbShunny.

I’ve decided not to blog about Terri Schiavo.  It’s too depressing, and I only blog to have fun- you know, the same reason Judson Cox dresses his pet hamsters in Barbie clothes and sends them on play dates.

But since every wingnut site is Schiavo-obsessed this week, the pickings for Grade-A right-wing tomfoolery are very slim indeed.

Desperate for something to laugh about, I decided to check out NewsMax to see if they had posted any funny new ads.  This one caught my eye:

As S.Z. has pointed out, it seems like every ad on NewsMax is marketing something that CRAZY Left-Wing Liberals/Hillary Clinton/The Mainstream Media DON’T want you to see.  Speaking as a CRAZY Left-Wing Liberal, I don’t really care if NewsMax readers learn the secrets of having ancient Chinese sex or earning "Wealth Beyond Dreams of Greed," but I guess it helps them sell their products.  Maybe Jeff Gannon would have made more money if he’d taken out a NewsMax ad with the caption, "Dan Rather Does NOT Want You to Toss This Man’s Salad!!"

At any rate, I clicked on the ad’s link and it took me to the site of "Jason Juliano."  And because Jason knows the grave personal risk we took by clicking on the site that Hillary had forbidden us to visit, he wrote us this swell letter:

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It’s all over for me. In fact, let’s end it right now.

Frederick of BeatBushBlog saves us the trouble of writing a post about Terri Schiavo:

The case of Terri Schiavo raises complex issues. Yet in instances like this one, where there are serious questions and substantial doubts, our society, our laws, and our courts should have a presumption in favor of life. Those who live at the mercy of others deserve our special care and concern. It should be our goal as a nation to build a culture of life, where all Americans are valued, welcomed, and protected - and that culture of life must extend to individuals with disabilities.

The rest here.

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It’s not sex if you do it in the ass

Or something like that:

A new study has found that young adults who make virginity pledges are just as likely to be infected with a sexually transmitted disease (STD) compared with those who do not take a pledge. […]

Compared with non-pledgers, the team found that male pledgers were were four times more likely to engage in anal sex and both male and female pledgers were six times more likely to have oral sex. Condom use was almost non-existent for oral sex and very low for those participating in anal sex.

Sweet dreams of Ben Shapiro, everybody!

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Why can’t there be some things just for me? Is that so selfish?

You really have to give credit to people who can seriously (?) claim this:

Religious intolerance that has grown since the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks in the United States and the U.S. invasion of Iraq has especially persecuted Christians, the Rome-based Jesuit magazine, Civilta Cattolica, said this month.

Especially Christians. The mind boggles.

(Link via busy, busy, busy.)

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What Seb’s REALLY Been Up to…

Read the shocking details here.

(Via Apostropher.)

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Upper-Crust Wingnuttery at the WSJ Op-Ed Page

Wingnuttery isn’t restricted to Renew America and The Rant- you can also find it at the Wall Street Journal Editorial Page.  The Journal has two classics this morning, one by the editors and one by Leslie Gelb of the Council on Foreign Relations.

Above: The Wall Street Journal’s All-Star Editorial Panel.

First, let’s take a look at the editors’ piece about the fraud conviction of former WorldCom C.E.O. Bernard Ebbers:

Bernard Ebbers was convicted yesterday, and our first thought was: Does this mean Sarbanes-Oxley will go poof?  Now that the man at the center of the biggest accounting fraud in U.S. history will pay for his own crimes, it is only fair that the rest of American business shouldn’t have to…

The WorldCom scandal served as a catalyst for politicians to jump into the fray in 2002 with the Sarbanes-Oxley legislation, one of those Washington "fixes" that imposes new costs and regulatory burdens on the entire economy rather than punishing the guilty few.

So the Journal’s pissed that Sarbanes-Oxley forces their buddies to endure greater scrutiny and oversight in their accounting practices.  I guess it’d be much better to wait for fraudulent companies to collapse before taking any action.  Similarly, airports shouldn’t check people for weapons before boarding aircraft, since it makes travel less efficient.  We can throw someone in jail if they hijack a plane, but why punish every passenger for the actions of a guilty few?

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