23
Just Imagine
I don’t really like to play the “just-imagine-the-wingnut-outrage” game, but this is, I think, a perfect opportunity to do it. John McCain went on the attack and said this about Obama:
I had the courage and the judgment to say that I would rather lose a political campaign than lose a war. It seems to me that Senator Obama would rather lose a war in order to win a political campaign.
This loathsome little effort at reading Obama’s mind, of course, elicited a round of huzzahs from the usual suspects, including the pretend pirates pirate at Pirate’s Cove
But suppose that Obama had said this:
I had the courage and the judgment to say that I would rather lose a political campaign than spill more American blood. It seems to me that Senator McCain would rather spill more American blood in order to win a political campaign.
They’d still be scraping pieces of John Hinderaker’s skull from the ceiling in his office
Hoosier X said,
July 23, 2008 at 20:04
I would like to apologize in advance for the following statement, which I am certain will provoke conservative political correctness (under the guise of civility arguments.):
Conservatism is garbage.
Malaclypse said,
July 23, 2008 at 20:06
I had the courage and the judgment to say that I would rather lose a political campaign than stop killing brown people. It seems to me that Senator Obama would rather stop killing brown people in order to win a political campaign.
commie atheist said,
July 23, 2008 at 20:10
I would rather lose a political campaign
John McCain is right about one thing, though. He is a loser.
another jim said,
July 23, 2008 at 20:14
And the theoretical Obama statement has the further headsplosional quality of actually being true.
John McCain said,
July 23, 2008 at 20:15
We’ll stay in Iraq as long as the Iraqis want, unless they want us to go, in which case we’ll stay.
John Kerry said,
July 23, 2008 at 20:19
But never forget: I’m the flip-flopper. Not John McCain. He’s a Republican and, thus, by definition, can not be called a flip-flopper.
And you also can’t imply that he ever brings up his wartime service on his own once in awhile.
Garbage™³²®© said,
July 23, 2008 at 20:20
Hoosier X said,
July 23, 2008 at 20:04
I would like to apologize in advance for the following statement, which I am certain will provoke conservative political correctness (under the guise of civility arguments.):
Conservatism is garbage.
That’s it. You’re off the X-mas list, Hoosier X.
Barack Obama said,
July 23, 2008 at 20:20
I support genocide.
And I’m just like Hitler.
Now, I’m not saying that I’m just like Hitler.
Legalize said,
July 23, 2008 at 20:21
Barack Obama has the nerve to claim that the Iraqis want us to stop killing them in their own country! I’d rather kill more Iraqis that win an election. It seems Barack Obama would rather not kill more Iraqis AND win an election.
Garbage™³²®© said,
July 23, 2008 at 20:25
P.S.
Fred Hiatt, professional idiot.
(Note that the editamatorial has been rebranded, the headline originally was “Eccentric Obama on Iraq” or some such.)
Dr. BDH said,
July 23, 2008 at 20:25
“Losing a war” has always been a great campaign tactic. It got George W Bush reelected in 2004.
robert green said,
July 23, 2008 at 20:26
my friends, is not killing more iraqis for reasons that even i can no longer explain in search of a definition for the term “victory” that i can’t find, is that not change you can believe in?
also, when czechoslovakia attacks the afghani border in 2040, this will again prove that the surge, which has always been and always will be, is successful. in creating a fully sunni iran.
mmm...lemonheads said,
July 23, 2008 at 20:27
He has the courage and the judgment. He just doesn’t have the chutzpah, the stomach, the reasoning, the logic and the right ideas.
Excelsior!
Hoosier X said,
July 23, 2008 at 20:28
I’m sorry if my statement offended the garbage. But I’d rather be offensive to the garbage and lose the election than back down from the garbage and win .
I will not negotiate with garbage, though it pains me to be off the X-mas list because garbage always sends such nice things. Last year, I got a little rubber gorilla. You just shake him a little and his arms and legs wiggle for hours! It’s adorable! The cat loves it!
Do you want the gorilla back? I wouldn’t blame you a bit.
Hoosier X said,
July 23, 2008 at 20:31
I think people should lay off McCain and his “Czechoslovakia” gaffe.
Really, he should credit for not saying that we need to liberate the Sudentenland.
And I’m not saying McCain is like Hitler. Look at what I said. I said he should get credit for not being like Hitler!
kindness said,
July 23, 2008 at 20:32
Whether John McCain would rather lose a campaign or not is besides the point. That he will lose is now officially a given.
That John McCain would rather sell his soul to the Succubus Karl Rove Machine to try to scratch out a win in a campaign is too, too sad. I mean, here’s a guy with a gazillionaire wife and he’s out selling his soul for peanuts just for a crappy job that Lucifer wouldn’t want.
You do have to be insane to run for president in this country. Who knew that when Ronnie Raygun chucked all the crazies out of institutions and on to the streets (when he was govenor of CA) that one day some of those very same people would be on par with running for president. Go figure.
tigrismus said,
July 23, 2008 at 20:34
I had the courage and the judgment to say that I would rather lose a political campaign than lose a war.
Will he have the courage and judgment to actually lose the campaign instead of just enough to say so? Not that he’s going to be given much choice in the matter…
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
July 23, 2008 at 20:39
I just found evidence of convergent threadvolution.
gbear said,
July 23, 2008 at 20:39
Whether John McCain would rather lose a campaign or not is besides the point. That he will lose is now officially a given.
I wouldn’t grab a lemonade and head for the lawn chair just yet. There are a lot of wealthy connected people that have a lot to lose if they can’t force McCain into the oval office.
Mr. Wonderful said,
July 23, 2008 at 20:41
“Conservatism is garbage.”
Maybe. But this–McCain, etc.–isn’t conservatism. It’s Republicanism, which is indeed garbage.
It’s actually worse than garbage, because garbage still retains some organic content that can be useful as fertilizer or to seagulls, rats, etc. Republicanism lacks even that saving characteristic.
If actual conservatives want to salvage actual conservatism, they have to take the GOP out behind the propane tank and put a bullet in its head.
And then post it on You Tube.
(Block that metaphor.)
mikey said,
July 23, 2008 at 20:55
I would rather lose my car keys than run out of toilet paper.
And I’m afraid Barack Obama would rather have his car keys.
Sad. And stinky…
mikey
Hoosier X said,
July 23, 2008 at 20:58
If there IS a practical difference between conservatism and Republicanism, then the “true conservatives” need to do a little more than:
a) repeat Republican talking points;
b) sigh and say “both sides are just as bad”; and
c) use “Obama just doesn’t have enough experience” as a euphemism for “Obama is black and/or a socialist and/or a secret Muslim and/or a black Christian separatist and/or a supporter of genocide.”
And then maybe apologize for all the conservatives and Republicans who have been calling Bush’s critics “traitors” and “appeasers” for seven years. That would be a good place to start.
mikey said,
July 23, 2008 at 21:06
Originally, political conservatism was small government, non-interventionist, pro civil liberties, fiscally prudent.
A political party with this platform no longer exists, and the term “conservative” has about as much meaning as if they called themselves “igneous rocks”….
mikey
Michael G. said,
July 23, 2008 at 21:09
Barack Obama said: I support genocide. And I’m just like Hitler. Now, I’m not saying that I’m just like Hitler.
I know that’s true on account of the informative New Yorker cover.
Smut Clyde said,
July 23, 2008 at 21:11
I would rather lose a political campaign than lose a war.
Hey, the guy’s had lots of experience in losing both; I’m sure he knows what he’s talking about.
Jay B. said,
July 23, 2008 at 21:16
They’ve lost their fucking minds. Everyone of them.
Zandar1 said,
July 23, 2008 at 21:16
They’d still be scraping pieces of John Hinderaker’s skull from the ceiling in his office.
How is that bad? He could go over to the Ole Perfesser’s and get CYBORG ROBOT SKULL HEAD ATTACHMENT IS GO!
Hell, I’m calling up the Obama guys right now and asking them to say that.
javafascist said,
July 23, 2008 at 21:25
I realize this is probably a huge target for SAtSQ but does the right wing truly believe that 6 out of every ten of their fellow citizens needs to be executed for treason? Because I’m pretty sure that logically, given:
A) those who believe we need to leave
B) those who want us to lose the war (IOW, traitors)
C) those that deserve the death penalty
Then if
A=B
and
B=C
then
A=C
But then what do I know. I’m just a fascist holding down the white male.
Gary Ruppert said,
July 23, 2008 at 21:40
The fact is that Obama’s campaign benefits when America loses
his campaign benefits when our economy slumps due to a Democrat-induced recession
his campaign benefits when our gas prices go up due to Democrats limiting our drilling abilities
his campaign benefits when American soldiers die in Iraq, due to Democrats emboldening the enemy
A vote for Obama is a vote against everything that America is about.
commie atheist said,
July 23, 2008 at 21:41
I’m sorry, but Conservatism, as defined by the Bill Buckley “standing athwart history and yelling STOP!” school, really does suck.
WereBear said,
July 23, 2008 at 21:53
Well, sad, in a symbolic, freshman English, literary kind of way.
If I sold my soul, I’d want top dollar, and a guarantee.
I mean, even Faust got what he wanted.
Garonio Ruppertieri 1790 said,
July 23, 2008 at 22:01
The fact is that Mozart’s music benefits when Austria-Hungary loses
his music benefits when our economy slumps due to an Enlightenment-induced recession
his music benefits when our horse dung prices go up due to Deists limiting our witch-burning abilities
his music benefits when Austrian soldiers die in Turkey, due to Deists emboldening the enemy
A fan of Mozart is a vote against everything that the Empire is about.
William Teach said,
July 23, 2008 at 22:08
You’re just upset, Clif, because you are missing an extra f, and do not have any sort of cool icons for yourself ;)
BTW, it is only one of us, sparky. And, yes, I am a real pirate. I bleed purple and gold. Look it up. Thanks for the link, dude. Enjoy!
gbear said,
July 23, 2008 at 22:32
Just wanted to say: that is one great photoshop of the McCains.
Bitter Scribe said,
July 23, 2008 at 22:59
Tens of thousands of Americans, and God knows how many Vietnamese, Cambodians and Laotians, died because a gaggle of ninnies couldn’t admit they made a mistake. Why should we expect this war to be any different?
Jay B. said,
July 23, 2008 at 23:01
What an asshole ;)
Jrod said,
July 23, 2008 at 23:01
I sure hope Sleepy Willy doesn’t wear out his F5 key while waiting for someone, anyone, to respond to his content free comment.
Well, here you go. I noticed that you wrote something stupid. You’re super special. Now run along and play with your GI Joes.
dave said,
July 23, 2008 at 23:13
I had the misfortune to hear Herr Hannity at lunchtime. He was raving about McCain’s quote, saying “That my friends is a true statesmen!”
Then my head exploded.
SamFromUtah said,
July 23, 2008 at 23:26
He was raving about McCain’s quote, saying “That my friends is a true statesmen!”
He’s not quite a statesman, but close.
If you use the Bloom County definition for “statesman”.
sagra said,
July 23, 2008 at 23:31
“I bleed purple and gold.”
You should have that looked at.
The Assyrian's Cohorts said,
July 23, 2008 at 23:44
I gleam in purple and gold.
Bitter Scribe said,
July 23, 2008 at 23:44
He was raving about McCain’s quote, saying “That my friends is a true statesmen!”
Because we all know that True Statesmen™ always congratulate themselves on their own courage and judgment.
Our Dead Selves said,
July 23, 2008 at 23:48
I don’t understand how we can “win” this war and I’ve yet to hear John McOldypants define what winning means, besides more bloodshed.
jim said,
July 24, 2008 at 0:05
McCain’s pimping the “lose the election versus lose the war” line for dear life, much like Bush Sr. did with “read my lips: no new taxes” … & it’s almost as credible, too.
Hands up, anyone that REALLY thinks the Wars-R-Us Cartel wants Iraq to be “won” … as in, troops come home, juicy weapons & supply contracts worth billions rapidly dry up, & their stocks take a serious shitkicking … anyone? Anyone at all? Bueller?
Victory for the neocon elite in Iraq is, like impeachment for Pelosi in DC, totally off the table. No amount of common sense must ever be permitted to interfere with their holy BizWar. For the Halliburtons, GMs, SAICs & Lockheeds, victory=failure, period.
Remember when they caught those 2 guys from SAS driving around downtown Baghdad dreesed as Arabs, complete with facepaint, in a car filled with bombs, guns & explosives … & the Brits smashed down the wall of the jail they were being held in with a fucking battle-tank, killing & wounding FRIENDLY Iraq forces to get them loose (never to be seen or heard from again)? I’m sort of betting they’ll be back at work before too terribly long now - if they’re not busy already.
SamFromUtah said,
July 24, 2008 at 0:09
Hands up, anyone that REALLY thinks the Wars-R-Us Cartel wants Iraq to be “won”…
Oh Good Lord, no. From the first time I heard the phrase “War on Terror” I knew it was the next War on Drugs.
University Of Washington said,
July 24, 2008 at 0:13
We’re trying to decide whether to sue, change our colors, or both.
eidos said,
July 24, 2008 at 0:14
I had the courage and the judgment to say … [blah, blah]
Who is better to attest to the courage of John McCain than John McCain himself?
SamFromUtah said,
July 24, 2008 at 0:21
Who is better to attest to the courage of John McCain than John McCain himself?
Heh, yeah. Sounds like he’s playing to his audience, who need things spelled out nice and clear.
J— said,
July 24, 2008 at 1:18
McCain’s positive assessment of his own courage reminds me of Jack Hind in The Gods Must Be Crazy (my emphasis): “By the way, I am Jack Hind. The Reverend’s worried. He got to me on the short-wave, so I offered to look for you and that was very sweet of me.”
Jrod said,
July 24, 2008 at 1:28
OMG I detect liberal traitors impugning the unimpyoonacious courage of the greatest soldier to ever live, JOHN MCRAMBO.
Congrats on causing Obama to lose the election, guys. You’ve shattered our dreams for the Marxo-fascist caliphate with your loose words.
gocart mozart said,
July 24, 2008 at 1:44
Cross posted at the pirate’s cove
The flier is in German because Germans in Germany usually read in German. You cater to your audience. If Obama wanted to attract wingnuts to his speech he would have written the flier in crayon with misspellings and bad grammar and perhaps a racy photo of Ann Coulter with her penis hanging out.
Doctorb said,
July 24, 2008 at 1:56
Nice. I can’t seem to get the weather chart to open; is it safe to go outside?
Early Pearly said,
July 24, 2008 at 1:59
Do you need a ride?
gocart mozart said,
July 24, 2008 at 2:16
Yes, its safe to go outside. Fire up the curly-wurly Early pearly.
Mrs. Stockton Burnham said,
July 24, 2008 at 2:55
I just left a comment at Pirate’s Cove, an order for some fish and chip dinners and a shrimp basket with extra cocktail sauce for pickup. In about an hour I’ll go bitch ‘em out for not having it ready when I got there.
krassen said,
July 24, 2008 at 3:03
I have this visual stuck in my head:
A guy is drunk beyond recognition and shows up at a party where he barfs all over the Italian sofa, stumbles, tries to hold onto the tablecloth pulling down and breaking all the china, then punches a couple of guys and bloodies their noses because they were “looking funny” at him, grabs the 11year-old host’s daughter and tells the terrified girl “hey baby, you wanna get lucky?” and so on
his wife pulls him by the sleeve: “Come on, let’s go, you dumb-ass, stop embarrassing me”; looks at the hostess with a forced smile “he’s not always like that”
The terrified hostess also forces a smile: “I can call a cab, it will be here in 16 (months) minutes”
To which our hero shoves her in the chest and yells, rolling his tongue: “We leave now and this party is ovaaaaar!!! I would rather not show up for work than ruin this party!!! Who’s got more whisky!!! Hey, let’s call strippers!!!! Party on, baby!!! 100 years!!!”
Gary Ruppert said,
July 24, 2008 at 3:38
Man, I’m getting this fierce zit on my ‘taint. Hurts like the dickens. I wonder if it’s from all the cheetohs.
Doctorb said,
July 24, 2008 at 3:46
It’s probably an ingrown pube. Or a condyloma acuminata (what a wonderful phrase).
mikey said,
July 24, 2008 at 3:52
Or a condyloma acuminata
Our Secretary of State is infecting Gary’s Taint?
It’s worse than I thought!!
mikey
gocart mozart said,
July 24, 2008 at 4:01
Mrs Burnham, I am your waiter at thepiratescove.us , a fine family establishment. Do you want the oysters or not?
gocart mozart said,
July 24, 2008 at 4:32
must fix linky thing http://www.thepiratescove.us/
MaineMan said,
July 24, 2008 at 4:49
If you feel that your drilling abilities are limited, there are pills for that now, I hear. Little blue ones.
“Rugged in Montana” would likely know all about them, it seems to me.
Lesley said,
July 24, 2008 at 9:01
McCain McCain, shallow hypocritical McCain, who hasn’t a hope in hell of beating Obama, perhaps because he’s manufactured himself into Bush deux, icky Grandpa version.
Anne Laurie said,
July 24, 2008 at 9:45
“I bleed purple and gold.”
You should have that looked at.
If anyone wanted to look at that, even in exchange for money, he wouldn’t be hanging around here bothering his betters.
Just Alison, without Qetesh said,
July 24, 2008 at 12:13
John McCain needs some cod liver oil, by the looks of him. That’ll get those bowels moving again.
(Lex) Twilly Spree(Azagthoth) said,
July 24, 2008 at 13:17
Barack Obama has the nerve to claim that the Iraqis want us to stop killing them in their own country! I’d rather kill more Iraqis that win an election. It seems Barack Obama would rather not kill more Iraqis AND win an election.
Legalize, nutty in’it? Reminded me of a link in a link to a piece written by Brad here at SN though, Iraq Body Count. I wish more of the wingers (or any of them) were reading those lists of names. But major thanks to Brad for making me aware of the site, I had been trying to keep a tally from news reports but had a hard time getting names/ages/family members.
(Lex) Twilly Spree(Azagthoth) said,
July 24, 2008 at 13:20
Gary–everything America is about? I thought America was about overthrowing an entrenched status quo that no longer represents the people. Maybe I should check back in with the DAR on this one, but I’m pretty sure that’s how our country began.
Mrs. Stockton Burnham said,
July 24, 2008 at 14:29
gocart mozart: Well, I waited and waited for my order and finally I had to leave. No quarter for you, pal!
Mrs. Stockton Burnham said,
July 24, 2008 at 14:36
PS — I tried to leave my harummph at Pirate’s Cove Fine Family Dining and Pickup, but for some reason I was not allowed to. I’m calling the local food inspection authorities.
pedestrian said,
July 24, 2008 at 15:26
I thought America was about overthrowing an entrenched status quo that no longer represents the people. Maybe I should check back in with the DAR on this one, but I’m pretty sure that’s how our country began.
No, it is about the right to accumulate wealth from the labor of others. Ask the Daughters of the Confederacy.
(Lex) Twilly Spree(Azagthoth) said,
July 24, 2008 at 16:19
ped–yep, I’m eligible for that one too. I’m a Greek-a-Billy you see. You don’t know alienation unless you grow up brown in Georgia with your relatives calling you “the little dark one” and the Yankee kids mocking you for saying “nekkid” and for “looking Chinese”.
Argh…that’s it, I’m changing my blog name again.
Tagg said,
July 24, 2008 at 17:03
As if we needed more proof of McSame’s mental health, watch this little gem courtesy of Keith Olberman on Countdown. http://www.tagg-lines.com/2008/07/john-mccains-personal-facts-machine.html
pedestrian said,
July 24, 2008 at 17:05
Lex, I feel ya. Being an outsider sucks, especially when people know you aren’t “one of them” before they even talk to you. I loved your documentary on American life/ hate radio btw.
John Mccain said,
July 25, 2008 at 0:54
I would rather 4000 more of our brave soldiers die in a misguided war than admit I was wrong.