2
He’s Not — Well, He Is Your Great-Great-Grandfather’s Music Critic
Maybe Jay Nerdlinger* used to be with it, and then he lost track of what ‘it’ was. Now what he’s with isn’t ‘it,’ and what is ‘it’ seems weird and scary to him. But I doubt it. He’s always been clueless, and his brand of criticism is too fossilized for even the best carbon-dating laboratory’s efforts.
Usually, Tory art critics amount to so many tweedy and pompous Grampa Simpsons, irate old farts whose pole-up-their-ass style and ideological hackery preclude the random profanity and negativity-for-its-own sake that so often redeems the tirades of the reactionary elderly.
But Nerdlinger thinks even those guys should get off his lawn. Outdoing even Hilton Kramer and Roger Kimball in bow-tied, culture-’tarded spades, Nerdlinger complains that a Lyle Lovett concert blew his eardrums out:
[A] few nights ago, I attended a Lyle Lovett concert… As someone who has attended very, very few non-classical concerts, I have a couple of observations:
Amplification has gone crazy in America, and throughout the world. Everything is overamplified — amplified to ridiculous degrees. There is no reason for it. And it detracts seriously from musical enjoyment. At the Beacon Theater here in New York, it was like there was some mistake: The amplification was turned up as though Lyle had to reach listeners in Ohio. And the acoustics of the Beacon are perfectly fine as they are.
I just don’t understand.
No shit. But he’s not done yet relating teh KULTUR SHOKK!!!
Do you know that no programs are given out at pop concerts (by which I mean, non-classical ones)? Do you know there is no intermission? (At least there wasn’t in this case.)
Not to mention no place to rest one’s opera glasses. Amazing, isn’t it, the degradations that one must endure in order to be entertained at these so-called “pop” concerts!
I am a Lyle fan, and long have been. He’s a little country, a little indie, a little “roots,” a little gospel — a little of a lot of things. Call him a fusion musician.
No, Jay, he’s eclectic. Calling his music fusion is kind of confusing, because to most people the term is short for jazz fusion — a genre you’ve also probably never heard of since it was invented just recently in the 1960’s by that young whippersnapper Miles Davis.
[Lovett] seems an interesting fellow — respectful of religion, which is very interesting. Fans would holler out to him, and he’d just say, “Thank you, thank you,” in an understated way.
No wingnut’s kulturkrit is complete without the Zhdanovian hackery. Lovett respects religion and assumes a modest demeanor, so Commissar Nordlinger approves! Nichevo, tovarish!
That’s it for music. Then, something else: Jay shares his up-to-the-second awareness of Internet traditions:
You know what “WTF” means, right? It’s e-mail and text-message shorthand for “What the Fig” (only not “Fig”). Mighty, mighty handy initials.
YA RLY, Jay! Or, in Nordlinger’s target audience’s terms: Indeed, what a labor-saver of an apposite riposte! I say, good sir, I should like to learn more of these rather crude yet convenient phrases you acquire in your effortless interactions with the young and trendy! Then they begin to envy Nerdlinger’s easy rapport with young hipsters (e.g., Jonah Goldberg!) and wish that they were half as cool as that cat Jay.
* Otherwise imperfectly named as ‘Nordlinger.’





M said,
July 2, 2008 at 15:29
Next thing you know he’ll be saying ‘FIRST!’ like a dumbass
owlbear1 said,
July 2, 2008 at 15:29
A 300 baud dude
bellatrys said,
July 2, 2008 at 15:34
Over-amping *is* a problem, because it destroys a lot of the work that musicians and sound artists are putting into their performances, turning it to mush. (I have a few relatives and friends in bands, so I hear about this from the backstage side as well as my own audience perspective.)
However, one reason why so many places over-amp is that they have really, really poor acoustics and think that by dialing it up to 11, you won’t notice this.
Newsflash to architects trying to get away with designing music venus/hockey arenas on the cheap: it doesn’t work. We can still tell.
OTOH, clearly this guy has NEVER been to a pop concert in his life. Which is funny, and sad, given that he’s a music critic. I mean, have *any* pop concerts in the past 60 years had programs? I’ve never seen one, but my pop-concert going experience only dates back to the mid-80s.
Lessee, Boston Pops, nope, Joan Baez, nope, Earth Wind & Fire/Chicago, nope, random little local swing bands putting on big band concerts in the local bandstand, nope…
Jay C. said,
July 2, 2008 at 15:43
This bra bomb better work, Nerdlinger.
Scott said,
July 2, 2008 at 15:47
“All these people kept clapping and singing along during the concert! And they did not wear their evening finery! Some of them even appeared to have just arrived from some low-class common labors, judging by their rough clothing and demeanor. What is this nation coming to when people show up for country music concerts wearing cowboy hats?!
“Where is my monocle. Harumph harumph.”
Brent Bozell said,
July 2, 2008 at 15:49
Shalom, gentlemen.
Sea Dub said,
July 2, 2008 at 15:50
I was awakened by a Lyle Lovett concert at a stadium several miles from my home. I think Lovett is great, but I can believe it when J-Nerd says the concert was overamplified.
ifthethunderdontgetya™²³®© said,
July 2, 2008 at 15:53
Over-amping *is* a problem?
mextremist said,
July 2, 2008 at 15:53
I still have the program guide to the Napalm Death/Cannibal Corpse double feature I caught down in Austin. I had to complain with the usher, it seems some riff-raff had gotten hold of tickets and were visibly consuming illegal substances and making a fuss, distracting me and my date over the barrage of sonic abuse being hurled from the stage. After a brief discussion with the offending parties, and a savage beat down in the mosh pit, I left a trail of blood and vomit from the venue, vowing never to return until they fixed their amplifying. I dare say, back in the good days, you’d be lucky if you could hear anything for a few days after the concert.
gbear said,
July 2, 2008 at 15:59
He’s a little country, a little indie, a little “roots,” a little gospel
And that pretty much covers the four songs that Lovett has been rewriting since Joshua Judges Ruth.
Fans would holler out to him, and he’d just say, “Thank you, thank you,” in an understated way.
He must have already had is glass of iced tea on the stage.
I’ll admit that I’m a little behind the times on concerts too. The last concerts I went to we were more likely to need a barf bag than a concert program. I’m glad those days are over.
gbear said,
July 2, 2008 at 16:01
ah, mextremist beat me to the barf comment. curses.
pat said,
July 2, 2008 at 16:01
loud music causes deafness. ask any audiologist. even a brief exposure will have a lasting effect.
gbear said,
July 2, 2008 at 16:02
argh. is glass = his glass
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
July 2, 2008 at 16:03
Oh my. I just reached the end of the article and let me say, the ravages of dementia are frightening. Let me condense his wandering ramblings into the one true line from the article:
Thanks Jay!
HTML Mencken said,
July 2, 2008 at 16:05
Ugh. Rusty. Had to fix some shit.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
July 2, 2008 at 16:05
loud music causes deafness. ask any audiologist. even a brief exposure will have a lasting effect.
I did, but I couldn’t hear his response.
gbear said,
July 2, 2008 at 16:05
I will echo what pat said. I was a drummer in loud bands in the 70’s and 80’s. I now have a pretty bad and permanent case of tinnitus. It sucks and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone except maybe Dick Cheney.
Fats Durston said,
July 2, 2008 at 16:12
WTF? That “article” reads exactly like Jackie Harvey from the Onion. It’s gotta be an in-house parody of an NRO culture critic… right?
Right?
Ripley said,
July 2, 2008 at 16:17
“If it’s too loud, you’re too old” - Random rock ‘n’ roll enthusiasts
I saw Marshall Crenshaw and The Fabulous T-birds (on separate occasions) in a small theater, and both acts had intermissions. I don’t remember having programs but, really, isn’t that kind of redundant? It’s not like you don’t who wrote the songs
If I were Lyle Lovett, I’d crank it up to 11 and open every show with, “I’m Lyle Lovett, and I used to bang Julia Roberts. Oh, yes I did!”
Jackie Harvey said,
July 2, 2008 at 16:18
Item! If you want to get someone to stop making a point, say ‘What-Ever!’ It works every time!!
kiki said,
July 2, 2008 at 16:22
Jay Nerdlinger: one of the finest minds of the 19th century.
(Actually, probably a fifth-rate mind even by Victorian standards, but the gag is still good.)
Legalize said,
July 2, 2008 at 16:27
I attended a “pop” concert last week. Lemmetellya, the “Black Angels” are not respectful of religion. Which I found interesting. I asked a young negro man with a litany of metal instruments, called “piercings” imbeded in his face (did you know that they do that?), to kindly get me a ginger ale from the bar man, while holding out a shiny nickle as a means of respectful thanks and understanding. He invited me to “fig” myself (only he didn’t say “fig”). The indignity! I informed him that he was being as disrespectful to me, as the “pop” band on stage was being to religion.
nyarlathotep the crawling chaos said,
July 2, 2008 at 16:32
Can we say that fusion was developed, in part by Miles, in the late SIXTIES, not 40s? In the 40s, Miles was bippity-boppin’ away with all the rest of them cats.
roy edroso said,
July 2, 2008 at 16:35
I have to level with you: though it is my sworn duty to patrol those noxious districts, a while back I stopped reading altogether Nordlinger’s “Impromptus” or “Impastoes” or whatever the hell he calls them. Week after week of the same dull, doctrinaire ideas, expressed with the same reflexive smugness, wore me down at last. (Even rendered in bite-size chunks the Impromptus are indigestible. Who will edit the Senior Editors?)
Now, goddamnit, you’ve drawn me back in. In his previous column, to which he or his HTML butler links from the current one, Nordlinger actually shakes a fist at those effete snobs Jon Stewart and Lenny Bruce. I expect this is what hell will be like. Well, we’ll find out soon enough!
Frowny McBeard said,
July 2, 2008 at 16:36
Calling his music fusion is kind of confusing, because to most people the term is short for jazz fusion — a genre you’ve also probably never heard of since it was invented just recently in the late 40’s by that young whippersnapper Miles Davis.
I think you mean late 60s. As I recall (reading, anyway) he was pretty doped up in the late 40s, and he didn’t even develop his modal style until the late 50s.
“If you gonna hate, at least get your facts straight”-MF DOOM
Me said,
July 2, 2008 at 16:38
Oh, what sad days are these when young hooligans can hold their sock hops and shindigs and what have you late into the evening hours!
Amlohdi said,
July 2, 2008 at 16:43
Here’s a new fangled idea some of the kids are into: Links that open in a new tab.
(Lex) GOD BLESS TWILLY SPREE (Azagthoth) said,
July 2, 2008 at 16:50
Wow, how very turdly of him. Over-amplified. Huh. I do listen to a rather large # of genres personally, but I think I shall sic my dearest The Azagthoth on this man. If he can stand either an onslaught of DJ Astro or Morbid Angel; well he won’t stand it. He’d crack. Personally I prefer The Boredoms, which would crack, shock and stun this one out of any sense but perhaps at least convert him. Maybe he should also be “Bungled” (Mr. Bungle)?
Amlod–ROFL
bliekker said,
July 2, 2008 at 16:56
Links that open in a new tab.
Good point. For some reason whenever I hit a link at S’N!, and then go back one page to return, I always end up at the top of the S’N! page…
Nerdlinger said,
July 2, 2008 at 17:02
This bra bomb better work, Nerdlinger.
MmmgleHOYven!
Professor Frink said,
July 2, 2008 at 17:04
Hey! That’s my gag, what with the hoyven and the mmmgle.
tigrismus said,
July 2, 2008 at 17:09
Peoples, try teh Interclue. Or ctrl-click linkage.
Jennifer said,
July 2, 2008 at 17:10
RE: over-amplification - ever notice how it’s the shittiest bands who crank it up the loudest? As if you won’t notice how badly they suck if blood is trickling from your ears?
Worse yet, imagine TED NUGENT being the last thing you can ever remember hearing clearly.
bliekker said,
July 2, 2008 at 17:10
Or ctrl-click linkage
Yeah, thanks.
jackson said,
July 2, 2008 at 17:12
Just to add to the annoying jazz fan clarification: in the ’40s, Miles was helping to invent something called cool jazz with Birth of the Cool (he hated the term cool jazz, and the album was named by a publicist). Cool jazz was later co-opted by less talented artists (many on the west coast) like Dave Brubeck. Fusion was indeed late ’60s-early’70s, thanks in part to Miles…
And may I just add that, as someone who, like asshat Nerdlinger, prefers to go to a classical performance, that he is a total douchebag? I mean, I like rock music too, but the most recent rock concert I went to was the White Stripes about five or six years ago. It was awesome. I probably seemed to those around me like Nerdlinger, except I just enjoyed the music, and accepted my cultural (as opposed to musical) out-of-touchedness.
One of my favorite quotes (possibly from Toscanini) is, “There is no such thing as old music or new music, only good music and bad music.”
Dan Someone said,
July 2, 2008 at 17:13
Reminds me of a story my mom tells of going with her mother to a Fugs concert, after which my grandmother said something like: “I’m not shocked. I’m just saddened.”
Links that open in a new tab.
I always right-click and force links to open in a new tab. But that’s because I’m a liberal fascist.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
July 2, 2008 at 17:16
Nordlinger actually shakes a fist at those effete snobs Jon Stewart and Lenny Bruce.
If you can bring yourself to read something headed:
Then you come across this gem:
Thanks Jay!
Simba B said,
July 2, 2008 at 17:16
I always right-click and force links to open in a new tab. But that’s because I’m a liberal fascist.
Middle click ftw
Blue Buddha said,
July 2, 2008 at 17:20
A lot of bands that over-amp in concerts also over-amp in the studio as well. Funny how that works.
SowellFan said,
July 2, 2008 at 17:21
These days I can’t distinguish music from noise, especially when taken into account liberal bands who keep chirping about “change.” Hate to break it to the noise-mongers, but the best country on earth requiers no “change” from sheep.
tigrismus said,
July 2, 2008 at 17:26
but the best country on earth requiers no “change” from sheep.
You can’t get change from sheep: no pockets.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
July 2, 2008 at 17:26
His interjection between admitting that he has no point and his waxing poetic on figs is to recommend and hail a column titled “Global Warming as Mass Neurosis”. Nice one Jay. Very nice.
Fortunately, there is this:
Thanks Jay, and this time I actually mean it.
gbear said,
July 2, 2008 at 17:30
RE: over-amplification - ever notice how it’s the shittiest bands who crank it up the loudest?
Jennifer, when did you see my band?
Amlohdi said,
July 2, 2008 at 17:31
Ctrl + clicky…didn’t know. Interclue appears to be pretty nifty but only time will tell.
I’m gonna stick to my original point though.
kthnxbi
Jay N. said,
July 2, 2008 at 17:36
FIRST!
Bigby said,
July 2, 2008 at 17:38
Shouldn’t it be “Grampas Simpson”, like Attorneys General?
Malfunctioning Glenn Reynolds Robot said,
July 2, 2008 at 17:46
Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s a gaffe-o-matic! Check out this picture I took of a random female student. Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s a gaffe-o-matic! Check out this picture I took of a random female student. Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s a gaffe-o-matic! Check out this picture I took of a random female student. Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s a gaffe-o-matic! Check out this picture I took of a random female student. Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s a gaffe-o-matic! Check out this picture I took of a random female student. Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s a gaffe-o-matic! Check out this picture I took of a random female student. Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s a gaffe-o-matic! Check out this picture I took of a random female student. Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s a gaffe-o-matic! Check out this picture I took of a random female student. Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s a gaffe-o-matic! Check out this picture I took of a random female student. Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s a gaffe-o-matic! Check out this picture I took of a random female student. Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s a gaffe-o-matic! Check out this picture I took of a random female student. Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s a gaffe-o-matic! Check out this picture I took of a random female student. Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s a gaffe-o-matic! Check out this picture I took of a random female student. Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s a gaffe-o-matic! Check out this picture I took of a random female student. Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s a gaffe-o-matic! Check out this picture I took of a random female student. Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s a gaffe-o-matic! Check out this picture I took of a random female student. Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s a gaffe-o-matic! Check out this picture I took of a random female student. Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s a gaffe-o-matic! Check out this picture I took of a random female student. Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s a gaffe-o-matic! Check out this picture I took of a random female student. Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s a gaffe-o-matic! Check out this picture I took of a random female student. Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s a gaffe-o-matic! Check out this picture I took of a random female student. Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s a gaffe-o-matic! Check out this picture I took of a random female student. Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s a gaffe-o-matic! Check out this picture I took of a random female student. Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s a gaffe-o-matic! Check out this picture I took of a random female student. Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s a gaffe-o-matic! Check out this picture I took of a random female student. Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s a gaffe-o-matic! Check out this picture I took of a random female student. Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s a gaffe-o-matic! Check out this picture I took of a random female student. Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s a gaffe-o-matic! Check out this picture I took of a random female student. Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s a gaffe-o-matic! Check out this picture I took of a random female student. Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s a gaffe-o-matic! Check out this picture I took of a random female student. Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s a gaffe-o-matic! Check out this picture I took of a random female student. Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s a gaffe-o-matic! Check out this picture I took of a random female student. Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s a gaffe-o-matic! Check out this picture I took of a random female student. Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s a gaffe-o-matic! Check out this picture I took of a random female student. Heh. Indeed. We’re winning! Read the whole thing. Obama’s a gaffe-o-matic! Check out this picture I took of a random female student.
g said,
July 2, 2008 at 17:47
Do you know that no programs are given out at pop concerts
My stars! shocking! And they didn’t sell sno-cap nonpareils at the concession stand, either!
And did you know the microphones don’t even have cords on them? And they even show the band on a big TV screen next to the stage!
Seriously. when was the last time this guy saw a live show, 1972?
Ken Lowery said,
July 2, 2008 at 17:47
Do you know that no programs are given out at pop concerts (by which I mean, non-classical ones)? Do you know there is no intermission? (At least there wasn’t in this case.)
Is this seriously a real thing. Because that really only makes sense as a parody.
Links that open in a new tab.
LOW-TECH WORKAROUND: Right click on the hypertext, click “open in new tab.” Tada.
g said,
July 2, 2008 at 17:48
and yes, of course it’s too loud. Everyone in the building who’s being paid to be there (i.e., working there) is wearing earplugs.
g said,
July 2, 2008 at 17:50
These days I can’t distinguish music from noise, especially when taken into account liberal bands who keep chirping about “change.”
God, you have a way with words, Sowelpuss.
SowellFan said,
July 2, 2008 at 17:53
I’m one of the few left, as government-socialized education has turned our children into liberal loonies who make mockery of terms like guest worker.
Mark B said,
July 2, 2008 at 17:59
The intermission is between the show and the encore. Duh!
kiki said,
July 2, 2008 at 18:02
These days I can’t distinguish music from noise
Retarded, morally repugnant and tone-deaf! You hit the trifecta.
gbear said,
July 2, 2008 at 18:02
These days I can’t distinguish music from noise, especially when taken into account liberal bands who keep chirping about “change.”
I bet you had David Bowie in mind when you wrote that. These days indeed.
g said,
July 2, 2008 at 18:04
Keep riffing on that, my man. You’re brilliant!
government-socialized education
What other kind of education would the government have? “Government privatized education”?
who make mockery of terms like guest worker.
Whoa, what’s the deal? So the liberals mock terms like “guest worker”? So “guest worker” is the term you prefer?
I love this guy! There’s an oxymoron in every phrase!
Blue Buddha said,
July 2, 2008 at 18:05
Yep… and the signal for the intermission is not the theater lights turning on, but when everyone holds up a lighter (or these days, their cell phone since no one smokes and everyone has a cell phone).
Blue Buddha said,
July 2, 2008 at 18:07
Dammit! I had Aces High for place and Crooked Motherfucker for show!
SowellFan said,
July 2, 2008 at 18:09
Laugh it up, looney left. The breakdown of culture has long been your goals, and you do this through terrible “rock music” and “postmodernism.” There will come a time when people eject your ideals, which could happen in this election even.
anthony said,
July 2, 2008 at 18:10
Well no, because there are a million shitty buskers out there with acoustic guitars and I know technically they’re not bands but the fact they don’t have friends isn’t my problem. I saw the Blues Explosion nearly crap the PA system at a gig and, frankly, I felt much the better for it.
tb said,
July 2, 2008 at 18:10
OK, everybody loves to dump on Brubeck, but who are these other “less talented” artists you’re referring to? Lee Konitz, Chet Baker, Lennie Tristano maybe? They may not have had Miles’ massive influence, but they (and many other “west coast/cool” guys, famous or not) were masters in their own right, and that’s not at all a fair way to characterize their work.
Righteous Bubba said,
July 2, 2008 at 18:11
liberal bands who keep chirping about “change.”
Rufus said,
July 2, 2008 at 18:12
You can’t light a joint with a cell phone, dude.
Righteous Bubba said,
July 2, 2008 at 18:12
I saw the Blues Explosion nearly crap the PA system
Their drummer deserves to be beaten to death.
g said,
July 2, 2008 at 18:12
Wow. I just visited his column. What a load of self-absorbed pointless ramblings!
He met a real estate agent who was someone famous’s son!
Classical musicians also die at various ages!
Someone remembers eating really good ice cream a long time ago!
People like the Dalai Lama!
Buttworth-Lydon said,
July 2, 2008 at 18:12
“I have for some time kept a list - a macabre one; such that I am able to recount, by rote, some of the more horrific ends of the sinfonia: Drumange Sainclair (fell down some stairs), Bronwyn St. Smythe (also fell down some stairs), Pudgy Bobetz (stairs), Roberto Clemenstinomonolopoulous (chest hair mistaken for fly larvae by Asian king’s pet tamarind), Constance Wallflower (stairs again), Bitzi Nobbleglue - flautist born without arms, learned to play with her feet (feet torn off in horrible thresher accident), Robert Pesto-Nova (boxer creep), Trini Crapulous (those damn stairs!)….”
gbear said,
July 2, 2008 at 18:12
SowellFan = Rugged in MT?
atheist said,
July 2, 2008 at 18:13
Actually, I must admit that sorta agree with Mr. Nerdlinger on this point. Rock concerts often sound way, way too loud to me.
This is beacause I am unhip.
What can I say? 23 Skiddoo, daddy-o.
g said,
July 2, 2008 at 18:18
Marty DiBergi: Now, during the Flower People period, who was your drummer?
David St. Hubbins: Stumpy’s replacement, Peter James Bond. He also died in mysterious circumstances. We were playing a, uh…
Nigel Tufnel: …Festival.
David St. Hubbins: Jazz blues festival. Where was that?
Nigel Tufnel: Blues jazz, really.
Derek Smalls: Blues jazz festival. Misnamed.
Nigel Tufnel: It was in the Isle of, uh…
David St. Hubbins: Isle of Lucy. The Isle of Lucy jazz and blues festival.
Nigel Tufnel: And, uh, it was tragic, really. He exploded on stage.
Derek Smalls: Just like that.
David St. Hubbins: He just went up.
Nigel Tufnel: He just was like a flash of green light… And that was it. Nothing was left.
David St. Hubbins: Look at his face.
Nigel Tufnel: Well, there was…
David St. Hubbins: It’s true, this really did happen.
Nigel Tufnel: It’s true. There was a little green globule on his drum seat.
David St. Hubbins: Like a stain, really.
Nigel Tufnel: It was more of a stain than a globule, actually.
David St. Hubbins: You know, several, you know, dozens of people spontaneously combust each year. It’s just not really widely reported.
Jason said,
July 2, 2008 at 18:18
Dude actually writes this at the beginning:
“Frankly, it was one of the most mind-boggling news articles you will ever see. It should be studied years from now, as evidence of the moral strangeness of these times. The article reads almost like a parody — because of its earnestness, its very normality.”
Somebody needs to lock the em-dash box in NRO’s supply closet.
Susan of Texas said,
July 2, 2008 at 18:18
I hear those music hall performances can be quite bawdy.
The breakdown of culture has long been your goals
This would be more effective if old farts haven’t been saying this since the cave man times. “You young whipper-snappers think drums are all that. They’re nothing but noise! In my day we banged rocks together. Now, that was music!”
Mark B said,
July 2, 2008 at 18:20
The loudest band I ever heard was the Misfits in the Mid 80s. My ears were ringing for days afterwards. They had a stack of Marshall amps about 20 feet high at the back of the stage, and by the end of the show it felt like your guts had been put through a blender. It was awesome!!
Ken said,
July 2, 2008 at 18:20
I’m surprised they didn’t make him take the onion off his belt
Jake H. said,
July 2, 2008 at 18:23
Laugh it up, looney left. The breakdown of culture has long been your goals,
The breakdown of grammar, too, and if I may borrow a phrase: MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!! BWAHAHAA!!!!
roseyv said,
July 2, 2008 at 18:25
Okay, I’m sorry but:
“Amplification has gone crazy in America, and throughout the world. Everything is overamplified — amplified to ridiculous degrees. There is no reason for it.”
He’s right about this.
g said,
July 2, 2008 at 18:25
Goes without saying:
Marty DiBergi: Why don’t you just make ten louder and make ten be the top number and make that a little louder?
Nigel Tufnel: [pause] These go to eleven.
fish said,
July 2, 2008 at 18:29
ever notice how it’s the shittiest bands who crank it up the loudest?
Man I love the shittiest bands!
jackson said,
July 2, 2008 at 18:37
tb,
I’ll grant that my comparison was overdrawn (at least with Konitz and Tristano). I just have a knee-jerk dislike of Brubeck and Chet Baker.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
July 2, 2008 at 18:37
OT but try transitioning to a full democracy when all your elected leaders are farming deviate fish. May as well go back to absolute dragon-monarchy when Diablo 3 goes gold.
Ken Lowery said,
July 2, 2008 at 18:45
especially when taken into account liberal bands who keep chirping about “change.”
Unlike previous rock bands, who… oh, right.
Righteous Bubba said,
July 2, 2008 at 18:58
Everything is overamplified — amplified to ridiculous degrees. There is no reason for it.
There are obvious reasons for it.
MzNicky said,
July 2, 2008 at 19:00
Loudest I ever heard was Edgar Winter and Leon Russell back in the day. For the record, they were not shitty. I was a mere slip of a girl, but it was too much — actually physically painful. I had to go into the lobby and plug my ears and it STILL hurt.
Ah, those were the days.
Righteous Bubba said,
July 2, 2008 at 19:05
Loudest for me was Pussy Galore. They seemed to drill down into my inner ear and make me dizzy.
Blue Buddha said,
July 2, 2008 at 19:10
Hmmm… Bhutan Parliament bans laptops. Remember, this is the same country that completely banned tobacco and smoking a few years ago.
Jennifer said,
July 2, 2008 at 19:13
I remember going to one show that was so loud that the bass issuing from the speakers was actually blowing my clothing against my body. Having anticipated this, since the band was shitty (I was dragged along by a now mercifully-ex boyfriend - it was the Damn Yankees), I had brought foam earplugs of the type used by deer hunters…and even then, it was painful. I spent most of the show in the lobby, still wearing the earplugs. As I said, I lost the boyfriend, but I kept my hearing, and it means a lot more to me than he ever did….
bartkid said,
July 2, 2008 at 19:18
>Do you know that no programs are given out at pop concerts (by which I mean, non-classical ones)?
Which is why I always buy the tourbox at King Crimson concerts.
kth said,
July 2, 2008 at 19:21
I probably gave the Replacements about a quarter of my hearing ability, about 20 years ago.
But a full 80-odd piece symphony is pretty loud, too. I remember attending a summer concert (indoors), where the price was low enough that people brought their kids. When they played Beethoven’s 5th, the kid in front of me would (involuntarily) put his hands over his ears every time the brass kicked in.
Fozzetti said,
July 2, 2008 at 19:31
Hmm. I always brought earplugs to ‘pop’ concerts. Even with them in place I could hear fine. BUT my last concert was Queen. Or maybe Thompson Twins. Well, since then I’ve attended some classical concerts at the SF Opera House and I’ll tell ya: the seats there, even the expensive ones, are real BUTT BUSTERS. And those people coughing and clearing their throats! Plus there is too much treble!
Me said,
July 2, 2008 at 19:35
Amplification has its place, but I’m afraid I’ve gotta be one of those assholes who agrees with Nerdlinger on this point. Memo to movie theaters–I’m half-deaf, and I still think you’ve got it cranked way too fuckin’ loud.
islmfaoscist said,
July 2, 2008 at 19:37
That’s right, he’s not from Texas.
Snort said,
July 2, 2008 at 19:44
I just got back form a pop concert. Would you guys type louder, I can’t hear you.
Fozzetti said,
July 2, 2008 at 19:45
…. and the programs are boring and printed too small. And they always list s a half dozen people filling in for other people you never heard of. And the clapping and clapping and clapping for the conductor! Honestly! Still, it would be amusing if everyone held up lit Bics!
Ripley said,
July 2, 2008 at 19:46
You know what I blame this on the break down of? Society!
Snort said,
July 2, 2008 at 19:48
Is it true Neil Diamond just has one song that he changes the volume and tempo in different spots and calls them new songs?
pedestrian said,
July 2, 2008 at 19:49
pop concerts (by which I mean, non-classical ones)?
What would a classical pop concert be? Music that was popular in the 18th century? Or does he mean pop music being performed by a symphony orchestra? Classical music isn’t just anything that is played on old-timey instruments. I don’t mean to be pedantic, but in all that time that he wasn’t going to concerts you would think that he could have developed a more precise vocabulary.
poopy Mcpants said,
July 2, 2008 at 19:49
Why?! why hast thou droppethed me into the abyss of lulz that is encyclopedia dramatica? Nothing will get done!
foo said,
July 2, 2008 at 19:56
The loudest band I ever heard was the Misfits in the Mid 80s. My ears were ringing for days afterwards. They had a stack of Marshall amps about 20 feet high at the back of the stage, and by the end of the show it felt like your guts had been put through a blender. It was awesome!!
Permanent hearing loss is awesome ? Awesome !
Flappy McScrotum said,
July 2, 2008 at 19:59
And the moral of the story is that bands with no talent can easily amuse idiots with a stupid puppet show. -Green Jello
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
July 2, 2008 at 20:03
but in all that time that he wasn’t going to concerts you would think that he could have developed a more precise vocabulary
Actually he has. Pops is as opposed to philharmonic. Like the one from Bah-stun.
Lawnguylander said,
July 2, 2008 at 20:04
Two Van Halen concerts 25 years apart are the only shows I ever found to be too loud. It’s because they suck of course. Nothing like having your ears ring for a week from bad music.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
July 2, 2008 at 20:07
OT Christopher Hitchens drinks like a fish.
I mean holy crap
via the Wanker formerly known as Wankette.
Still a neo-con hack, but a better class of neo-con hack.
dbati said,
July 2, 2008 at 20:09
Dinosaur Jr, back in the early 90’s used to crank it up a bit.
I saw them at an outdoor theater opening for Neil Young (I was there for Dino Jr.) and it was just like the scene in Spinal Tap when they are playing Jazz Oddessy for the “festival” crowd. You could see the midwestern, leather-fringed vest wearing “Harvest” crowd absolutely horrified by the wall of noise generated by Dino Jr.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
July 2, 2008 at 20:12
I for one welcome our GWAR!!!!!
Gavin M. said,
July 2, 2008 at 20:12
[added pix and tweaked a couple of things]
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
July 2, 2008 at 20:14
and by pix, he means GWAR!!!11one!
Flappy McScrotum said,
July 2, 2008 at 20:14
I really want Nerdlinger to go to GWAR concert and stand in the front row. I’d even even pay for his ticket.
2010 said,
July 2, 2008 at 20:15
Two Van Halen concerts 25 years apart are the only shows I ever found to be too loud. It’s because they suck of course.
Van Halen as I see them.
Ripley said,
July 2, 2008 at 20:16
Is it true Neil Diamond just has one song that he changes the volume and tempo in different spots and calls them new songs?
It’s true of Meatloaf, that’s for damned sure. Though I think they may actually be new albums.
Righteous Bubba said,
July 2, 2008 at 20:17
Thank the Lord for the Nighttime and Cherry Cherry are suspiciously alike…
Beavis said,
July 2, 2008 at 20:21
GWAR ROCKS!!! Eh-heh-heh-huh
stryx said,
July 2, 2008 at 20:23
Is there any indication that Nerdlinger was doing lines of heroin off the soundboard while getting blown by a National Review ‘intern’ at this concert? ‘Cause a lyle lovett concert is just like a Motorhead concert, like maybe the tour for No Sleep ’til Belfast or something.
I would bet that J-Nerd has a nice pair of leather chaps.
fadegeophile said,
July 2, 2008 at 20:24
I, for one, would like to welcome our Crack -Fueled overlords.
Jennifer said,
July 2, 2008 at 20:30
Eh, I just clicked on the KFC ad in the sidebar…it links to a page where Nobel Laureate Pamela Anderson exhorts us all to eat a vegetarian diet, just like she does!!!
(Note: I am not opposed to vegetariansm per se; it’s just not for me. And I do agree with Pammykins about the evils of factory-farming animals. It’s just wrong. I feel no particular guilt about eating animals as long as they’re allowed to BE animals while they are alive…after all, most of them would never have life in the first place if we didn’t raise them to eat them. But to turn them into heavily medicated eating machines living in close confinement, up to their ankles in their own feces during their brief lives…there’s just something very evil about trying to make a creature into a machine for your own purposes of profit.)
stryx said,
July 2, 2008 at 20:34
But Jennifer, the chickens are classified as independent contractors, so any feces related program activities are their own fault.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
July 2, 2008 at 20:44
I am a GWAR fan, and long have been. They’re a little country, a little indie, a little “roots,” a little gospel — a little of a lot of things. Call them fusion powered destruction machines.
Plus, they seem like interesting fellows — respectful of religion, which is very interesting. Fans would holler out to them, and they’d just say, “Fuck you, fuck you,” in an understated way. They may look odd, but they move cool — and the entire grotesque covered codpieced packages are very, very cool.
mikey said,
July 2, 2008 at 20:47
Back when my sister used to be the CFO for MesaBoogie, I used to get these awesome All Access and Local Crew passes. I actually sat on the edge of the stage for the Chili Peppers, Goo Goo Dolls, Bush, No Doubt, lots of cool acts.
But you’d get the output from the stacks And the stage monitors and your ears would be wrecked for a week.
But dammit, I was heartbroken when she left that gig…
mikey
Righteous Bubba said,
July 2, 2008 at 20:48
I am a GWAR fan, and long have been.
I saw ‘em long long ago and got completely covered in filth, then saw them the next day at a Boogie Down Productions show. I like them.
Jake H. said,
July 2, 2008 at 20:48
GWAR makes this post approximately 178% more awesome.
Lawnguylander said,
July 2, 2008 at 20:50
Van Halen as I see them.
What was that, a Metalocalypse clip? YouTube now sez:
This video is no longer available due to a copyright claim by The Cartoon Network, Inc.
Flappy McScrotum said,
July 2, 2008 at 20:54
GWAR makes this post approximately 178% more awesome.
Everyone, regardless of their personal music tastes, should attend one GWAR concert. Just so they can bask in awesome goodness that it presents.
Bitter Scribe said,
July 2, 2008 at 20:57
OK, I can maybe see the amplification issue, but complaining about no programs or intermission? That’s just weird.
Stick with classical, fella. (And I say that as someone who attends classical concerts exclusively.)
Righteous Bubba said,
July 2, 2008 at 20:58
What was that, a Metalocalypse clip?
Yeah. The Dr. Rockso coke video done in perfect Van Halen style.
Jake H. said,
July 2, 2008 at 20:59
I’m in love with a dead dog.
MzNicky said,
July 2, 2008 at 21:10
But to turn [animals] into heavily medicated eating machines living in close confinement, up to their ankles in their own feces during their brief lives…there’s just something very evil about trying to make a creature into a machine for your own purposes of profit
Thus, vegetarianism.
Professor Fate said,
July 2, 2008 at 21:11
Back in my day Intermissions were called Drum Solos.
J Neo Marvin said,
July 2, 2008 at 21:13
The Swans at the Mabuhay in 1987. Now THAT was loud.
Not shitty per se, but more conceptually interesting than actually good.
Dr.BDH said,
July 2, 2008 at 21:15
So, Hitchens finally admits (after being waterboarded) that waterboarding is torture. Now, what can we do to get him to admit that having your car shot up by a Blackwater mercenary, killing your wife and child, is a war crime? Anyone?
Flappy McScrotum said,
July 2, 2008 at 21:16
In all fairness, I did attend a concert that featured an intermission. Saw Primus a couple years back. Instead of an opening act they did two sets. First, they did a regular show with lots of well known and good songs. Then they took a 15 minute break (intermission) and followed that by playing Sailing The Seas Of Cheese from start to finish. And for an encore they did Southbound Pachyderm.
It was a great show.
Chasm said,
July 2, 2008 at 21:23
I’ll tell ya what else is wrong with concerts these days - the lighting fucking sucks. You youngsters probably don’t remember a time when they actually pointed the lights at the performers. Back then, and only at the absolute peak of the bands’ signature hit, (say the BOOM BOOM followed by everyone shouting “out go the lights!”) they would flash you with those banks of car-headlights on the drum risers (PAR lamps, for you lighting geeks), and that would be it. Highlight of the show.
Because now every band and their stage designers decided they needed the supermostesthidefinitionvideo screens behind them, there was suddenly no where else to shine the colored lights except the fans eyes. Nearly every concert I go to nowadays, no matter who the main act is, the support band has been a better, more enjoyable show. The sound isn’t killing you, and the stage is mostly dark and you can see the performer. If you forget your earplugs and sunglasses, forget about enjoying any part of a modernrockextravaganza.
Give me Jer inside, or pre-digital Dead anyday of the week for just being able to sit back and enjoy the music and the band.
Tim (The Other One) said,
July 2, 2008 at 21:27
“Cool jazz was later co-opted by less talented artists (many on the west coast) like Dave Brubeck.”
Them’s fightin’ words ! Go dig some Art Pepper and get back to me chief !
Righteous Bubba said,
July 2, 2008 at 21:28
Because now every band and their stage designers decided they needed the supermostesthidefinitionvideo screens behind them
This can often be a manifestation of a record company soaking a band for its own money: the bands are required to have stage shows with this or that crew and the charge of course comes out of the band’s royalties.
stryx said,
July 2, 2008 at 21:28
No intermissions? I guess Jay Nerd never went to a Grateful Dead concert.
David in NYC said,
July 2, 2008 at 21:31
I mean, have *any* pop concerts in the past 60 years had programs? I’ve never seen one, but my pop-concert going experience only dates back to the mid-80s.
Actually, they used to be fairly common in the 60s. I still have a fair number of programs from various concerts, including a lovely 12×12 color glossy 24-page program from the Beatles show at Shea Stadium in 1966, and a similar one from a Jefferson Airplane show around 1969.
Some venues, such as the Fillmore East, used to hand out a rock&roll version of Playbill, providing the inspiration for the scene in Annie Hall when Alvy stops by Annie’s apartment after their first breakup and discovers an issue of National Review lying around, and then a program from a Fillmore East concert, prompting him to ask, “Are you dating a right-wing rock star?”
And I have to agree: many, if not most, shows these days are grossly over-amplified, though I would certainly not include Lyle Lovett in that category, based on personal experience.
However, he is totally wrong about the acoustics at the Beacon. They pretty much suck big time, no matter where you sit.
David in NYC said,
July 2, 2008 at 21:34
Oh, and the intermission thingie? I believe that’s what they call the half-hour or so between bands while the crew sets up for the next act, no?
GoatBoy said,
July 2, 2008 at 21:36
GWAR must serve the master or GWAR must die! Or at least that’s what I read in the program at intermission.
Lawnguylander said,
July 2, 2008 at 21:36
Wait, what? GWAR opened for BDP? How was each act received by the other’s fans? Or am I wrong to assume they were exclusive groups?
In 1982 I saw Kurtis Blow and Gregory Isaacs open for The Clash at NYC’s Pier 84. Isaacs played without incident as I remember but a good portion of crowd was not feeling Kurtis and he was ducking bottles and other projectiles. Fairly or not that crowd’s reaction always comes to mind when someone starts going on about how much they don’t like hip hop. Anyway, Kurtis had some balls on him and he didn’t miss a beat. He went on with the show and Joe Strummer had some words for the assholes in the crowd when he came out. That was nice but they should have opened with The Magnificent Seven.
Damn does this comment make me feel old.
MzNicky said,
July 2, 2008 at 21:40
a lovely 12×12 color glossy 24-page program from the Beatles show at Shea Stadium in 196
Dave in NY: Sweet. Would you consider selling it? (I collect vintage Beatles stuff.)
Righteous Bubba said,
July 2, 2008 at 21:40
GWAR opened for BDP?
Nope, in the audience in their humanlike-forms.
Doctorb said,
July 2, 2008 at 21:41
Van Halen wish they were one-sixth as brutal as Dethklok.
Righteous Bubba said,
July 2, 2008 at 21:45
I hear some pretty good reports about Dethklok shows.
Doctorb said,
July 2, 2008 at 21:45
Oh right, I am also reminded of a time a few years ago when I convinced some old people (WHO TYPED IN ALL CAPS AND SAID GOD BLESS ALL THE TIME) that “WTF” stood for “Waving To Friends”.
Matt T. said,
July 2, 2008 at 21:47
Everyone should attend a GWAR concert so they can learn that once you get past the costumes, the shitck and the fake bodily fluids, GWAR really isn’t that good a band. Also, back when Van Halen III came out - in ‘98, I think - I got a phone interview with for-the-moment lead singer Gary Cherone. This was before they got back together with Diamond Dave (who sucked and couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket) and just after they got tired of Sammy Hagar (who can sing, yet somehow manages to still suck). Cherone came from, I think, Extreme and was real excited about “making Van Halen mean something again and making his mark with the fans”. Feel bad for that guy sometimes.
Also, Lyle Lovett used to be roommates with Robert Earle Keen (the fratboy’s Townes Van Zandt). They used to spend Sunday mornings on their front deck in their tighty-whities serenading church folk heading to the Baptist joint across the street. I’ve interviewed both men and asked ‘em about it, and they said “Yeah, we used to do that”.
fardels bear said,
July 2, 2008 at 21:51
I got to see Lyle Lovett and his Large Band at Red Rocks in California and the sound was perfect. Of course, as Lyle said, that is because of the beauty God made at Red Rocks. So there is your pro-religion right there.
I saw Cheap Trick and The Who on consecutive weeks in the 1970s and it each one was the loudest concert I’d ever heard. It hurt so good.
David in NYC said,
July 2, 2008 at 21:51
MzNicky: Probably not, as it has great sentimental value, but maybe you can make me an offer I can’t refuse. ;-)
I also have picture sleeves from most of their 45s, if you’re interested.
Scott Stapp said,
July 2, 2008 at 21:53
I think Jay is very insightful.
Righteous Bubba said,
July 2, 2008 at 21:54
Everyone should attend a GWAR concert so they can learn that once you get past the costumes, the shitck and the fake bodily fluids, GWAR really isn’t that good a band.
Why would you want to get past them? [Also "shitck" is a good coinage.]
Diamond Dave (who sucked and couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket)
Isolated Runnin’ With the Devil vocals.
Doctor Missus Marita said,
July 2, 2008 at 21:57
I saw GWAR when I was in high school.
And then I had to explain to my parents why my contact lenses (this was when lenses that you kept for a year were common) were permanently stained red and needed to be replaced.
Jason said,
July 2, 2008 at 21:57
And they say it’s the liberals who are the elitists.
gbear said,
July 2, 2008 at 22:00
I still have a fair number of programs from various concerts, including a lovely 12×12 color glossy 24-page program from the Beatles show at Shea Stadium in 1966, and a similar one from a Jefferson Airplane show around 1969.
I am filled with envy. I’ve got a backstage access pass to a Prince ‘Purpl Rain’ era show at the St Paul Auditorium (too loud) and an entire comp ticket for The Cure playing at First Avenue on November 7, 1984 (the last night that I ever drank alchohol), but those programs sound way cool.
Matt T. said,
July 2, 2008 at 22:00
Why would you want to get past them?
To go see a better band, maybe?
And my guitar player’s got those Diamond Dave yowls as his ringtone, and everytime his phone goes off, my drummer tells whatever story’s behind that. And then he tells about hearing the audio of Linda McCartney singing with Wings turned way up in the mix by some vengeful soundguy. I may kill my drummer soon.
Quaker in a (Colorado) Basement said,
July 2, 2008 at 22:00
at Red Rocks in California
They have one there too?
Clint said,
July 2, 2008 at 22:01
The fact is, GWAR FTW!!!
(fig the world)
fardels bear said,
July 2, 2008 at 22:02
Oh, shit. No Red Rocks in Colorado. I have no idea why I slipped up. I’ve never even been to a concert in California. But that is OK, I hear California isn’t a big college town.
MzNicky said,
July 2, 2008 at 22:04
David in NYC: I’ve got all the 45s in sleeves and all of the LPs that I know of, most left over from my adolescence. Alwlays been a Beatlemaniac, and a couple of years ago I set up a Beatles room in my house (like Ned Flanders) for all my stuff.
I love to own a Shea Stadium 1966 program. But sentimental value I understand.
Okay, how about I start at $100?
tigrismus said,
July 2, 2008 at 22:05
Isolated Runnin’ With the Devil vocals.
Why must I always click such links? It’s as if I see a hammer with a “hit your forehead with me!” label AND I CAN’T STOP MYSELF.
Righteous Bubba said,
July 2, 2008 at 22:06
And then he tells about hearing the audio of Linda McCartney
I swear I mentioned something about this here. I MAY BE YOUR DRUMMER.
MzNicky said,
July 2, 2008 at 22:08
Wow. me rite dum.
gbear said,
July 2, 2008 at 22:08
How about bids for a couple of Los Beatles albums pressed it Paraguay? One is called Yeah Yeah Yeah and I can’t remember the other one’s name. The worst bootlegs of records ever. If I remember right, you can actually hear them dropping the needle on the records ON the record. Pretty funny.
MzNicky said,
July 2, 2008 at 22:12
gbear: I see lots of Beatle records offered on eBay from Paraguay, Japan, Spain, etc. They’re usually labeled “RARE!” even though there are dozens listed at any given time.
Matt T. said,
July 2, 2008 at 22:14
I swear I mentioned something about this here. I MAY BE YOUR DRUMMER.
I hope not. My drummer forgets that I was in the room with him when he first heard the audio clip in question. The music editor of the rag where I worked and he freelanced occasionally (’cause it’s Athens, and if you don’t play in a band, you’ll write for Flagpole and you’ll probably wind up doing both eventually) had two discs of “accidentally” released audio of famous people being assholes. Goose Gosage bitching some woman out on a radio show or John Wayne drunk off his ass giving a speech to ROTC members, stuff like that.
Well, for about two months, this editor would play this goddamn thing for every soul that came into the office. I swear, I must’ve heard Linda’s off-key yodelling five times a day. So, now my drummer has to tell that story with me in the room, knowing I was fucking there when he heard it. He also goes through entire Bill Hicks routines whenever the whim strikes him, and because I don’t laugh, he thinks I’ve never heard of the guy.
Now that I think of it, that editor is a drummer. Goddamn drummers.
Jennifer said,
July 2, 2008 at 22:15
Thus, vegetarianism.
Well, no, not really.
It is possible to get pasture-raised beef, chickens, and turkeys. Animals that have been allowed to live as nature designed them to live. I don’t feel bad in the least about eating them, because they would never have lived in the first place if they had not been raised to be food. My issue is with feedlot cattle, medicated so they can digest the steady diet of grain that otherwise they wouldn’t be able to digest, because they are ruminants meant to eat mainly grasses. The same goes for chickens and turkeys who are de-beaked and crammed together by the thousands in confinement and heavily medicated to prevent the diseases that such overcrowding produces.
Eating animals isn’t cruel. Not allowing them to be animals while they are living - that’s what’s cruel.
gbear said,
July 2, 2008 at 22:16
I got them in the late 70’s when I was working in a cut-out warehouse. Picked them both up for $1. The warehouse was record collector nirvana.
Jennifer said,
July 2, 2008 at 22:19
I don’t have any old Beatles stuff or the like.
But I do have one of the only 7,000 or so copies of Chumbawamba’s Jesus H. Christ that was ever produced. Plus some fairly rare old blues recordings, picked up from when I worked at the used record store while going to grad school.
fadegeophile said,
July 2, 2008 at 22:20
What’s your band called, Matt?
Don’t you live in the NW?
fadegeophile said,
July 2, 2008 at 22:20
Screw you, RB. That sucked.
Gundamhead said,
July 2, 2008 at 22:21
This douche is giving us classical fans a bad name. Nerdlinger, there’s nothing wrong with being ignorant of pop culture, but I think it should generally preclude you from authoritatively commenting on pop culture. Just a thought.
MzNicky said,
July 2, 2008 at 22:22
Jennifer: What I meant was that the horrors you describe lead many to become vegetarians.
lunchmeat said,
July 2, 2008 at 22:25
Uh, oh, looks like someone just finished reading “the Omnivore’s Dilemma”
Righteous Bubba said,
July 2, 2008 at 22:25
Screw you, RB. That sucked.
I am inclined to agree with you although I don’t know what you’re talking about.
Crissa said,
July 2, 2008 at 22:29
If it was over amplified, you wouldn’t be able to hear the harmonies. It is annoying.
But uhh, that’s not really anything new, is it? Lyle Lovett? Geez. That’s the definition of bad country-pop that’s always over amplified.
Bring some earplugs next time, idiot.
Righteous Bubba said,
July 2, 2008 at 22:30
Lyle Lovett? Geez. That’s the definition of bad country-pop
No.
Matt T. said,
July 2, 2008 at 22:33
What’s your band called, Matt?
Right now, we’re “The Coveralls”, God help us. We play solely covers of country songs (which, so far, adds up to a inordinate amount of Hank Williams and Roger Miller tunes, go figure). See, it’s clever. And it’s what I deserve for playing country music with guys who think Gram Parsons invented the genre.
Don’t you live in the NW?
Nope. The exact opposite of the country, matter of fact, in Georgia. I have often thought of moving to the Pacific Northwest ’cause I’m tired of living in dear ol’ Dixie, but one, I can’t figure out anything useful to do with myself so I might as well stay where the living’s easy, and two, David Niewart’s got me terrified of the particular strain of crazy-ass white people in that area. I mean, I’m used to my neighbors at the very least having warm feelings for the Klan, sure, but there are some scary motherfuckers up in Idaho.
On the plus side, lots and lots of really fucking good weed and it’s easy to get.
Matt T. said,
July 2, 2008 at 22:35
Lyle Lovett? Geez. That’s the definition of bad country-pop
By “Lyle Lovett”, of course, you meant “The Eagles”. Seriously. Someone asks you, “Hey, what’s bad country pop?” You say “The Eagles”, and they’ll go “Ahhhh, I see.” and all is well.
Jennifer said,
July 2, 2008 at 22:39
lunchmeat - uh, actually I read that one almost a year ago.
But since my dad was a veterinarian who worked for big pharma and, for a brief time, as a USDA inspector, I’ve long been aware of the horrors of factory farming animals. It’s just that until the past few years, it’s been virtually impossible to find producers close to home who are humanely raising animals. Fortunately, the internet has made them much easier to find.
As for the organic veggies, I’ve been buying those or growing my own for over 10 years now. And yes, they DO taste much better than the crap at the grocery store.
Jennifer said,
July 2, 2008 at 22:41
And don’t be dissing Lyle Lovett. The man is, if nothing else, a very good songwriter. I’m going to see him on Sunday in Atlanta.
Doctor Missus Marita said,
July 2, 2008 at 22:48
Fortunately, the internet has made them much easier to find.
I think Local Harvest is a pretty good site to help with that. My parents get a lot of customers for their beef that way. I worry about meat from stores too, but the way my parents’ animals are treated (spoiled rotten, as cows go), I don’t have any qualms with the homegrown stuff.
gbear said,
July 2, 2008 at 22:51
Someone asks you, “Hey, what’s bad country pop?” You say “The Eagles”
You could also point them to ALL of the music played on commercial country radio stations (& wouldn’t play Lovett on a double dog dare).
fadegeophile said,
July 2, 2008 at 22:53
Nothing personal, RB, but that mp3 was Teh Suxxors.
It smelled like coke and desperation.
gbear said,
July 2, 2008 at 22:55
D.M. Marita, are your parents’ cows spoiled rotten due to improper refrigeration?
fadegeophile said,
July 2, 2008 at 22:55
Matt-
The crazy racists in Idaho are far from Seattle.
The crazy-ass white people here are more of the PC Police variety.
MzNicky said,
July 2, 2008 at 22:55
spoiled, rotten cows? ewwww. :-)
Jennifer said,
July 2, 2008 at 23:04
I don’t know about “spoiled rotten cows”, but the place where I’m buying my meat dry-ages their beef. Thus, the ground round at $4.25 per pound is not all that much more than the price at Kroger, where the high moisture content in the package makes up a non-insignificant portion of the weight you’re paying for. It all gets cooked out, anyway. Per weight, the price is probably about comparable ($12.85/lb for NY Strip steaks, vs. about $10/lb at Kroger)…and the meat does taste a lot better.
Doctor Missus Marita said,
July 2, 2008 at 23:04
You people are all horrible people.
My parents’ cows are happy and petted and given treats.
Jennifer said,
July 2, 2008 at 23:06
whoops, I meant to say $14/lb at Kroger for the strip steaks. For the better cuts, my humane farmers are actually charging a bit less.
Snort said,
July 2, 2008 at 23:10
My parents’ cows are happy and petted and given treats
I know how to moo.
Righteous Bubba said,
July 2, 2008 at 23:10
My parents’ cows are happy and petted and given treats.
My bet is that they want the treats before the petting begins.
Jennifer said,
July 2, 2008 at 23:14
You know, on the whole “Nerdlinger” thing…why not just call him “Turdflinger”?
Snort said,
July 2, 2008 at 23:15
Loudest concert (and one of the best)? Led Zeppelin early ’70s. We had to talk REALLY loud after the show.
OneMan said,
July 2, 2008 at 23:17
“These days I can’t distinguish music from noise…”
Me either, especially when I listen to Noisex or Snog or Kompressor.
Matt T. said,
July 2, 2008 at 23:25
gbear,
The funny thing is I remember when country radio played the hell out of some Lyle Lovett. in 1986, Lovett came out with a whole new crop of folks that, frankly, mainstream country radio wasn’t quite sure what to do with them apart from play it. Lyle, Dwight Yoakam, Steve Earle and k.d. lang all entered the Top 40 consciousness around about the same time. Plus, country radio was the dumping ground for anything with the merest hint of twang, be it cowpunk outfits like the Beat Farmers, redneck singer/songwriters like Earl Thomas Conley, or blue-eyed soul bar band survivors like T. Graham Brown. The friggin’ Kentucky Headhunters. Bocephus Uber Alles. It was a pretty neat time to be a fan of country music - despite the crappy sounding production (drums compressed to all hell and back, every guitar solo sounded the same, because Chips Moman played ‘em all) that was infesting Nashville at the time.
Of course, it was the last time country radio took a chance, and pretty much the last time country record labels even tried to mess with formula, once they saw how every song that sounded like a John Michael Montgomery song would sell just as well if you played it at Wal-Mart enough. Man, I love my iPod. I’ve got one playlist that where I to play it straight though, it would play me kick-ass country music for almost two whole days. The best part? No Big & Rich.
Matt T. said,
July 2, 2008 at 23:36
My parents’ cows are happy and petted and given treats.
Behind my uncle’s house, there’s this huge cow pasture. One of those big, picturesque, Benji Compson lookin’ deals. I don’t know what it’s used for now* , but when I was a boy, the guy who owned it had cows in said cow pasture. One year, my baby cousin** decided that was her world, and the whole spring and early summer, she’d rush home so she could run around in the “Pretty Field” and play with her friends the cows. They all had names, too. She named ‘em after all of us, and when she went through that, she named it after whatever word came to her. She was like six and it was adorable as shit.
Anyhow, come August (I think), she comes home one Tuesday and finds all her friends gone, so she goes looking for an explination. Unfortunately, the first person she runs into is her older brother, who was a mean little shit growing up. He told her in very graphic turns the unfortunate fate of her friends, the cows. Her daddy had the unpleasent task of telling Baby Cousin that, yes, that’s what cows are for. Then he beat Big Brother’s ass, which pretty much happened every other day.
To this day, she gets mad as hell at her brother about that. Never stopped her from eating beef, though.
*At one point, it housed two ostriches. Guy thought that was a good idea, so he bought a male and a female. The female died the first winter, and the male lived another 15 years. Of course, the ostrich thing never happened and this guy was stuck with this huge, ugly, perpetually pissed off bird that he had to feed ’cause there was no way he was just gonna kill a $1,200 investment. Mean critters but good eatin’.
** She’s now 26 and about to have her first kid. and I’m keeping company with a 22-year-old. There’s just something off about that.
Snort said,
July 2, 2008 at 23:39
why not just call him “Turdflinger”?
I first read that as “Turdfinger”.
“Why no Mr. Bond, I expect you to poop”!
ice weasel said,
July 2, 2008 at 23:46
Sadly, he has one, very small, narrow point that is valid. A lot of stuff is louder than it should be. And as several people have pointed out, being loud is usually an excuse trying to cover up something. Sad that. It’s one thing jazz, classical and folk have always had over rock, a willingness to be heard.
And look, I’m not gramps simpson. I’ve toured with a major rock shed act and worked in the music business for most of my life. But I do think nerdsmeller or whatever his name was, had a decent point. Too bad he surrounded it with a lot of other silly shit that made no sense or only showed how out of step with the last century he is.
Not that I would expect anything different considering the source.
OneMan said,
July 2, 2008 at 23:48
…and hey, what’s wrong with Brubeck? (who says I’m dumb?)
Time Out is one of my favorite jazz albums.
Go ahead, tell me why he’s not considered “less talented”. Than Miles? Sure. But why do people “dump on him”? Seriously. I can take it.
I’m still learning about jazz (hey, I’m slow…) so if there’s someone who does what he does but better? I want to h