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Larry and George Split an Eight-Ball
Larry Kudlow recently met with George Bush, Caudillo de Estados Unidos de América, to discuss issues of great economic import and snort vast quantities of cocaine. How do I know drugs were involved? Because only Tony Montana-sized mountains of coke can explain this kind of hilarity:
When asked about the dollar, the president stated clearly that he is for a strong dollar. But he hinted that the non-intervention policy would remain in place.
[...]
He also believes the European banks have done far less to repair their balance sheets than the American banks. And he hinted that our financial and economic position is stronger than Europe’s, another factor working to strengthen the value of the dollar.
Uhhh. They must have had some really primo shit. But then,
President George W. Bush was strong and in good spirits… Topics across the board were discussed… [though] some of the juiciest stuff is off the record.
I dunno what Kudlow means by off the record because short of reporting the actual sound effects — the snort sound, the reflexive “ahhh,” the hard gulp of the snotty drain-down, and perhaps the sharp slapping noise that a particularly harsh line might inspire the dope fiend to produce on the nearest hard surface* — relations of intoxicated monologues don’t get much more graphic and obvious than this:
Instead of intervention, he felt that free-trade policies to open markets and expedite the free transfer of capital would send positive signals that would strengthen the currency. He said the Columbia free-trade debate in Congress has undermined the dollar, and he continues to believe that passage of Columbia free trade is a “no-brainer.”
Of course. Like I said, primo shit.
*In the WH glory days, of course, this would have been Jeff Gannon’s ass. Nowadays it could be Laura’s face, but then, plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose.
slappy said,
July 2, 2008 at 12:24
Low blow!
Oh, wait…
Some Guy said,
July 2, 2008 at 12:48
“When asked about the dollar, the president stated clearly that he is for a strong dollar.”
Find me someone who’s in favor of the US Treasury printing toilet paper. Jesus.
El Cid said,
July 2, 2008 at 12:48
ColOmbia, beetches.
You know, the place where the current President, Alvaro Uribe, now ‘threatens’ to run a referendum on his Presidency because their own Supreme Court had the temerity to investigate, and substantiate charges that back when he was changing the Constitution to run for a 2nd term, legislator Yidis Medina was apparently getting goodies from the government to persuade her not to block the vote to approve that Constitutional change.
Also, the same country in which the modern stage of the paramilitary movement got its start on Uribe’s family ranch and especially during the time Uribe was governor of the drug capital state of Antioquia (Medellin), a movement which is responsible for killing up to 70% of the civilian victims of the civil war and in the past few years prompting an investigation of Uribe-allied politicians, up to and including his first cousin Mario Uribe, for helping to co-run and co-manage the right wing narco-paramilitary death squads (the nation’s biggest drug traffickers, in other words) interests in local & federal politics.
So far over 60 federal legislators have come either under arrest or formal investigation by the courts, as well as officials such as Uribe’s own chief of the intelligence services who also ran Uribe’s re-election campaign, though Uribe for his part says he knows nothing, nothing of his former campaign director’s / former secret policy head’s collaboration with the narco-paramilitary death squads, forces who apparently forced rural populations at gunpoint to vote for & support pro-Uribe legislators.
It’s all just some unfortunate “Three’s Company” style mixup overheard improperly through an open window.
That Colombia, the one where the Washington Post’s Fred Hiatt sees Uribe as a continent-wide Hee-ro for Democracy.
Arky - Sexual Orient Express said,
July 2, 2008 at 12:53
It’s simple. Y’see. Culumba don’t like Venezoola. Venezoola is run by a yucky terrist doody head whut called me Satan. THEREFORE, Culumba must be good an’ totally awesome. Heh.
/Gee Dubya
SowellFan said,
July 2, 2008 at 12:58
True freedom can only exist with free markets. Kudlow is aware of the laws of economics, as is Bush. However, leftists are not and wage classwar. Your smears of great men and of our Colombian allies in the global fight on drugs and terror makes you look stupid. I need to school you once again.
aimai said,
July 2, 2008 at 13:06
What’s with the hinting? “the president hinted that…” our banks are better than theirs? When did “hinting” become presidential?
aimai
witty1 said,
July 2, 2008 at 13:15
You’re absolutely right, HTML. I think the primo shit really helps them stay in opposite world.
WereBear said,
July 2, 2008 at 13:28
Well, I’m for a strong dollar. I’m sending out positive signals right NOW.
…
Check the stock market!
…
Don’t think it works.
jon said,
July 2, 2008 at 13:32
“He also believes the European banks have done far less to repair their balance sheets than the American banks.”
That’s about as absurd a statement as I’ve heard in some great amount of time. Could it be that European banks have fewer balance sheet issues than American banks, perhaps? Could it be possible that the European economy hasn’t been almost single-handedly propped up by the twin pillars of magic home loan money and mushrooming government debt? I know their banks drank from the Kool-Aid since that money was irresistable to anyone wanting to make a buck, but if I had a bundle of money right now I’d convert it to euros or Pounds or Pokemon cards (Beanie Babies just don’t have the international clout of five years ago, Sell!) or silver before we can no longer get our Chinese and Saudi buddies to completely selflessly prop up our currency. And I don’t suppose cocaine can fuel our automobiles, though I bet there are studies. Drill Ecuador and Colombia!
slippy hussein toad said,
July 2, 2008 at 13:42
With George W. Bush, everything is a no-brainer.
N.C. said,
July 2, 2008 at 13:43
Find me someone who’s in favor of the US Treasury printing toilet paper. Jesus.
These guys are.
OTB said,
July 2, 2008 at 13:45
Fixed.
Jim said,
July 2, 2008 at 13:52
Don’t you get all Richard Cohen at me.
Terrorist Fist Jab said,
July 2, 2008 at 13:56
Obama and his wife are anti-USA. They are using Google to silence their opponents. This is biased. I am never using Google again.
EK said,
July 2, 2008 at 14:01
Off topic but…
HOW ‘BOUT THEM TAMPA BAY RAYS?!
Ugluks Flea said,
July 2, 2008 at 14:29
I am never using Google again.
Conservatives aren’t very good at using teh google already, so not much lost there.
Snorghagen said,
July 2, 2008 at 14:42
I can’t resist linking to some classic Kudlow blasts from the past…
On the impending war with Iraq, in October 2002: “oil will not be a problem”.
Even earlier Iraq war cheerleading, from the wonderful June 2002 op-ed piece Taking Back The Market — by Force:
A small war… led by fast-moving special forces and leather-toughened Marines, and assisted by high-tech precision bombs and air cover, can get the job done…. The shock therapy of decisive war will elevate the stock market by a couple-thousand points.
Leather-tooughened Marines elevating the stock market. Uh hunh.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
July 2, 2008 at 14:48
Speaking of currency, whatever you do, don’t look at this graph.
WereBear said,
July 2, 2008 at 14:55
Augh! Augh! I went and looked!
On the good news side, my debt is now smaller!
Legalize said,
July 2, 2008 at 14:57
“I am never using Google again.”
Yeah, like that’s a stretch. You morons can barely read, much less make the effort to SEARCH for stuff to read.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
July 2, 2008 at 15:00
Actually, I shouldn’t be talking so much, after all the Ngultrum’s not doing all that well. Here’s one more funny money graph for your entertainment.
Google said,
July 2, 2008 at 15:02
You hardly used me anyway!
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
July 2, 2008 at 15:07
Sorry Patriots, but wikipedia pointed me to this. More evidence of the high standards at GMU.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
July 2, 2008 at 15:10
Oh, and Terrorist Fist Jab? Come on guys, that’s not even parody troll, that’s overly subtle sarcasm. And BTW, it’s not Google, it’s the Google.
ifthethunderdontgetya™²³®© said,
July 2, 2008 at 15:29
“leather-toughened Marines”?
Sounds like cokehead Larry has a kink thing going.
Blue Buddha said,
July 2, 2008 at 15:29
Speaking of “hinting that”, John Bolton hinted on Monday that Israel will attack Iran at the oh-so-convenient time of “between Election Day in November and Inauguration day in Janruary” (yes, those words exactly). He also hinted that this was more likely to happen if Obama was elected. Of course, the immediate reaction to the news was for crude oil to go through the roof and the stock market and dollar plunge.
See? We don’t have to worry about using our over-stretched military to attack Iran because our greatest buddies in the whole wide world will do the dirty work for us. These fuckers are more than ready to napalm the entire fucking
countryworld just before they leave office.Me said,
July 2, 2008 at 16:40
I’d like to thank you for your graphic descriptions of cocaine use, which simply reinforces for me the correctness of my decision many years ago to stop using it.
kc said,
July 2, 2008 at 16:55
President Bush also hinted that he likes apple pie and baseball.
Dan said,
July 2, 2008 at 17:19
Kudlow is a DOOOOOOooooooooshbag. Worst POS on my TV.
SFGOTP said,
July 2, 2008 at 17:51
“When asked about the dollar, the president stated clearly that he is for a strong dollar.”
8 more years!
protected static said,
July 2, 2008 at 18:06
Shorter SowellFan: Wah! Wah! Why isn’t anyone listening to meeeeeee!1!!1!!!eleventy!
Jake H. said,
July 2, 2008 at 18:12
Instead of intervention, he felt that free-trade policies to open markets…
That’s what you have to love about this administration–the intellectual dynamism! The new ideas, the flexible thinking! The actually wanting to solve problems and not just endlessly shill for the same set of transparently oligarchic policies over and over and over again! I’m really going to miss the energy of the Bush Administration! Thankfully, McCain seems to be a real intellectual live wire himself!
fadegeophile said,
July 2, 2008 at 18:23
LOLzers.
You seem to know of what you speak, good man.
Joshua said,
July 2, 2008 at 18:34
Was that a Presidential “Well I take care of my kids” interview?
Mistress Olga said,
July 2, 2008 at 19:43
“You’ve been a baaaad Marine.”
*smack!* (*yelp!*)
“Tell Mistress what you’ve been.”
*smack!* (*yelp*!)
SwellFan said,
July 2, 2008 at 20:53
I need to educate you lousy liberals.
First, throw, or better yet, burn all your fancy-larning books.
Then get a Bible and the collected works of my hero Sowell.
Now we can get started. Even though I haven’t read any of the Sowell books, and only look at passages in the Bible that talk about sex and/or punishment, I’ll have a lot to teach you heathens.
8½ " Uncut said,
July 2, 2008 at 21:21
“In the WH glory days, of course, this would have been Jeff Gannon’s ass”
I beg your pardon! I am squarely on the record as a top only. Typical liberal media distortion.
unrelatedwaffle said,
July 2, 2008 at 21:45
Leather-toughened Marines elevating the stock market.
That’s the hawttest thing I’ve read all day. If only the NYSE was full of guys like this.
unrelatedwaffle said,
July 2, 2008 at 21:46
Forgive me, guys like this.
mds said,
July 2, 2008 at 22:29
Instead of intervention, he felt that free-trade policies to open markets and expedite the free transfer of capital would send positive signals that would strengthen the currency.
So, um, if this latest free-trade pact is meant to open markets for US companies, a strong dollar isn’t at all what you want, as it suppresses exports. Also, although a better trade balance does often exert a strengthening effect on the currency, the volume of exports to Colombia is unlikely to be anything more than a drop in the bucket. Meanwhile, imports…
You know what? Fuck it. It’s not like Bush or Kudlow have any idea what the hell they were blabbering about.
Dean Booth said,
July 3, 2008 at 0:47
I don’t know much about economics, but I did learn something interesting about free trade today: When Adam Smith wrote The Wealth of Nations, he was motivated by the British forbidding Americans from making beaver hats. Fur real.
jim said,
July 3, 2008 at 7:09
Bush believes in a strong dollar - believing in doing anything to make it strong, on the other hand, would be blasphemous.
The holders of America’s debt are not happy campers when they see the US dollar’s value keep sinking, & I wonder how much longer they’ll keep being such good sports about it. At a certain point methinks the Saudis & Chinese will try to renegotiate their dollar holdings, up, waaaaaaaay up in fact. They’ll want their original value’s-worth, or suitable collateral, if the Greenback looks too much like it’s going to become the new lira & leave them with huge mountains of Charmin-scrip. At which point the Fed may have no choice but to comply & thus set off a chain-reaction, as all the average folks suddenly hoard their money & goods - & they find themselves having to keep printing dollars to, yep, you guessed it, “prop up the economy” but in truth kicking it in the balls. That sort of worries me more than the “Economic Apocalypse” scenario of major debt-holders calling in debts per se, which I don’t think they want to do - those debts are awesome as economic/political leverage.
Man has to do a heap of hinting & believing when he doesn’t KNOW jack-shit, especially if he’s too much of a blowhard to admit his ignorance.
Are you sure that’s coke? Sort of sounds like it might be acid. Which would also explain his handling of the Oil thing (the REAL Surge) & the US Dollar thing. Kind of hard to keep track of the stock news when the words melt off the page or turn into hordes of creepy black spiders, after all.
tensor said,
July 3, 2008 at 7:18
As a male engineer, I was a Star Trek fan in my student days, and I always wanted warp drive, phasers, transporter beams, and tall, well-endowed female officers looking perky in skin-tight ‘uniforms’.
Bush believes in a strong dollar - believing in doing anything to make it strong, on the other hand, would be blasphemous.
Therefore, I reject all funding for education, I support replacing science with Intelligent Design Creationism fairy tales from the Bible, and will vote for any candidate who promises to ban bras. Can I haz Preznitsy?
Davis said,
July 3, 2008 at 21:15
I’m seeing Colombia misspelled more frequently lately. Since I live in Columbia, MD, it’s disconcerting. I didn’t think that coke did that to you.