Jun
26
26
You can say that on TV?
We know that the 2008 UEFA European Football Championship isn’t the biggest story in America — that honor goes to the scandal that, because he never served in the armed forces, we don’t know the “core principles for which, in some sense, [Barack Obama ] is willing to die” — but we’ll link to this bit from the German TV show Frontal21 and translate the punchline for our non-German speaking readers:
The last time we began an international competition with a win against Poland, it was the Russians who celebrated at the end.
An old favorite from the same folks:
The German captions read:
Fats Durston said,
June 26, 2008 at 21:30
Obama turned his back on America when it needed him the most: Grenada!
That boy will never be ready when the Belizean gods attack.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
June 26, 2008 at 21:34
Oh fuck. I was chortling along right until the end, and then my outrage button a-spoded. Fuck. Fuckity Fuck.
nevrdull said,
June 26, 2008 at 21:43
german humor, ladies and gentlemen.. !
seriously - i want my 2 minutes back.
ifthethunderdontgetya™²³®© said,
June 26, 2008 at 21:48
The groping begins in five minutes.
kid bitzer said,
June 26, 2008 at 21:55
“could be better” is a mistranslation.
“das geht besser” (literally “that’s going better”) means more like “that’s alright now,” or “fixed now”.
GoatBoy said,
June 26, 2008 at 22:05
I interrupt this thread to inform NY SadlyNauts that Devo is playing with Tom Tom Club at McCarren Park Pool in Brooklyn tonight. And for Boston, at the BOA Pavilion tomorrow night. Don’t miss. The old men work their asses clean off and drive their younger drummer into the ground.
Also Tom Tom Club is friggin groovy as hell. Non-prick half of Talking Heads FTW
D.N. Nation said,
June 26, 2008 at 22:14
I think ESPN’s done a pretty decent job covering Euro2008. Miles better than the steaming pile they’ve at the same time been offering with the College World Series.
Me said,
June 26, 2008 at 22:40
Hey, post one of those YouTubes where Hitler from “Downfall” goes all ballistic about a football game or something.
I’d much rather look at him.
Brandi said,
June 26, 2008 at 22:41
I interrupt this thread to inform NY SadlyNauts that Devo is playing with Tom Tom Club at McCarren Park Pool in Brooklyn tonight.
Damn. I’m on the wrong coast.
t4toby said,
June 26, 2008 at 22:43
Damn we look like bafoons.
Thanks, Der Sadly. Now I’m even more depressed than when I started.
Blue Buddha said,
June 26, 2008 at 22:47
Sort of like Swiss humor.
– How do you make a Swiss laugh?
– Point a gun at his head and say, “Laugh!”
Rufus said,
June 26, 2008 at 22:48
What with the Germans and Russians killing each other by the millions over the course of several decades last century, that whole New York-Boston sports rivalry looks pretty pathetic in comparison.
Sarcastro said,
June 26, 2008 at 22:48
Huh. The Germans got pretty mad at Jeremy Clarkson for noting that the new Mercedes sat-nav system could only find its way to Poland.
“It can’t find London. They sure didn’t have a problem finding it 60 years ago!”
Sebastian said,
June 26, 2008 at 23:03
@kid bitzer:
No, “das geht besser” usually means something like “this can be done better” or “there is room for improvement”, as in this case, as is clear from context.
@Sarcastro:
Presumably not the same Germans that did this.
Doctorb said,
June 26, 2008 at 23:04
Yeah, well some Germans get mad if you hold your index finger under your nose, stick your other arm up in the air and walk around all stiff-legged, while others don’t. Also, Sarcastro is a great name — too bad they introduced him so late in The Tick’s run.
FuriousGeorge said,
June 26, 2008 at 23:09
Also Tom Tom Club is friggin groovy as hell. Non-prick half of Talking Heads FTW
What did Jerry Harrison ever do to you?
John said,
June 26, 2008 at 23:11
Does that linked video also contain a joke about the Turkish siege of Vienna in 1683? Ah, history jokes…
Five of Diamonds said,
June 26, 2008 at 23:12
That went from snarkalicious to depressing in .25 seconds.
Excuse me while I go drink German beer until I forget where I am.
Der van der Loon said,
June 26, 2008 at 23:29
I am aware of all internet traditions. “German humor” is not one of them.
Thlayli said,
June 26, 2008 at 23:31
I was wondering about that part myself. No problem stipulating to DB’s prickishness, but why does Harrison get lumped in with him?
(Germany is playing Spain in the final. Good luck with a historical analogy for that one.)
Monkay said,
June 26, 2008 at 23:37
That woman combing Dubya’s hair looked totally like Nancy Pelosi.
Teh Sammich said,
June 27, 2008 at 0:00
Cf.
Mister DNA said,
June 27, 2008 at 0:06
I think the clip would have been funnier if the music was The Monks’ Complication.
mikey said,
June 27, 2008 at 0:07
(Germany is playing Spain in the final. Good luck with a historical analogy for that one.)
I’m pretty sure it would be something about Guernica and the spaniards going out and getting bombed if they lose…
mikey
Johnny Coelacanth said,
June 27, 2008 at 0:12
Pwned by Germans. How depressing. Now I feel like Poland.
Andrew A. Gill, SLS said,
June 27, 2008 at 0:28
Don’t mention the war! I mentioned it once, but I think I got away with it all right.
ifthethunderdontgetya™²³®© said,
June 27, 2008 at 0:44
Don’t mention the war! I mentioned it once, but I think I got away with it all right.
Nope. We saw you.
R. V. Dump said,
June 27, 2008 at 1:00
Was that Harriet Miers combing his hair?
Blue Buddha said,
June 27, 2008 at 1:34
To be continued?! When’s the second part coming out?
Blue Buddha said,
June 27, 2008 at 1:36
Nancy Pelosi, Harriet Miers… they all look the same to me.
* IMO, she looks more like Miers than Pelosi
GoatBoy said,
June 27, 2008 at 1:37
“What did Jerry Harrison ever do to you?”
He produced this. That’s enough for me.
HumboldtBlue said,
June 27, 2008 at 2:00
GO SPAIN! I would like nothing more than to see those damned Germans lose the final, after being forced to endure insufferable German fans during every major tournament all I can say is Bollocks to them.
I think ESPN’s done a pretty decent job covering Euro2008.
Andy Gray should do the color for every major sporting event here in the U.S. His commentary during the matches is well, unmatched, particularly when he openly laughs at and derides players who, when tapped on the ankle, fall to the turf as “they had been shot by a sniper.”
Andrew A. Gill, SLS said,
June 27, 2008 at 2:03
Nope. We saw you.
I didn’t!
…so that’s two eggs mayonnaise, a prawn Goebbels, a Hermann Goering and four Colditz salads…no,wait a moment, I got a bit confused there, sorry…I got a bit confused because everyone keeps mentioning the War, so could you…
Candy said,
June 27, 2008 at 2:23
Too bad Wolfowitz wasn’t there. He could have given Bush the old spit-comb.
I apologize if this makes anybody yark.
Lesley said,
June 27, 2008 at 2:35
TBogg has a doozy up this evening. I think this is what’s called a blow out sale.
jim said,
June 27, 2008 at 2:58
… & if you look REEEEEEEEALLY close, you can see the top of Rove’s head peaking up from under the desk. Over & over & over …
Henry Holland said,
June 27, 2008 at 3:36
I wish Seb would post more; if Jesse Taylor can return to Pandagon, there’s always hope, I guess.
See how young The War Criminal looked in that compared to his haggard appearance now, I was reminded of one of my very favorite anti-Thatcher songs, Tramp the Dirt Down by Elvis Costello:
I saw a newspaper picture from the political campaign
A woman was kissing a child, who was obviously in pain
She spills with compassion, as that young child’s
Face in her hands she grips
Can you imagine all that greed and avarice
Coming down on that child’s lips?
Well I hope I don’t die too soon
I pray the lord my soul to save
Oh I’ll be a good boy, I’m trying so hard to behave
Because there’s one thing I know, I’d like to live
Long enough to savour
That’s when they finally put you in the ground
I’ll stand on your grave and tramp the dirt down
Go Germany, beat those whiny turf-diving Spainards.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
June 27, 2008 at 3:39
I’m sad Portugal’s out, because as stupid as Promiscuous Girl and as annoying as I’m Like a Bird are, Força is pretty awesome.
ahem said,
June 27, 2008 at 3:46
ESPN would need to raid its piggybank to pay him: the only reason they got him is that Sky doesn’t have the rights to the Euros and he can’t work for the other British networks. Still, he might come back for the World Cup. Agreed that the tournament has been great, and ESPN’s coverage is way better than the 2006 WC.
(Gray’s not that well-liked by most fans in the UK, who complain he sucks up to the big teams. But he’s done pretty damn well these past three weeks, especially given that he’s commentating from Bristol on the TV feed.)
GoatBoy said,
June 27, 2008 at 3:51
This tourney has made me dread the Olympics tournament to come. It will be wall-to-wall stupid, I’m afeared.
Doc Washboard said,
June 27, 2008 at 3:51
Isn’t that hairstyling shit the kind of thing that got Edwards called “Silky Pony?”
Anne Laurie said,
June 27, 2008 at 4:25
I am aware of all internet traditions. “German humor” is not one of them.
“Can you name two oxymorons, Alex?”
Arky - Sexual Orient Express said,
June 27, 2008 at 5:01
Damn, I’m 300 miles down the right coast.
lobbey said,
June 27, 2008 at 5:44
I’m surprised that no-one has mentioned the defeat of sharia loving, dhimmi embracing Tarks, by the bold Teutonic masses out in wingnut-ville, particularly after the craven surrender of the brave Croats fascists in the quarters.
Andy Gray should do the color for every major sporting event here in the U.S.
You can keep him, the sycophantic, arse liking moron. He is not even a great commentator, continually getting stuff wrong, and babbling on and on and on about fuck all. I have had to watch the Euros with Vietnamese or Thai commentary, and its been quite enjoyable, not getting riled by no mind morons that get paid for talking shit for 90 mins. (yes, the may be talking shit in thai, but I’ll never know).
Sorry, I’m tired, sat up till 4am, again….
mikey said,
June 27, 2008 at 5:47
Lobbey!!
Yer gonna burn out and fade away.
Smoke a doob and go to bed….
mikey
Smut Clyde said,
June 27, 2008 at 5:59
Before Lobbey crashes, I demand a comprehensive list of decent Glasgow pubs.
Leon said,
June 27, 2008 at 6:20
We’re German, we’re German
We hope you like Germans too.
jcricket said,
June 27, 2008 at 6:25
Nah…..lobbey needs a good pillow, and whatever sends him/her to slumberland. Take care, lobbey; mikey’s advice is good advice. Take what you need to recharge. The battlefield right now is a tag-team endeavor, someone else will fill in.
lobbey said,
June 27, 2008 at 7:56
Sorry, Mikey, would if I could, but they kind of frown on that at this time on the morning over here (if I could get any, that is). However, I’m back to Amsterdam next week, and looking forward to the biggest spliff they have to offer…..
Again apologies for my tone, I’m usually pretty laid back, however the mere mention of Andy Gray sends me not a spin of sheer vulgarity….
lobbey said,
June 27, 2008 at 8:01
into, not not
the sooner Euro 2008 is over the better, I need some sleep.
As for Glasgow pubs, depends what you are looking for, threats, violence, bigotry or bizzare, drunken chit chat?
auggiesback said,
June 27, 2008 at 14:24
Hey stupid libbies!Your boy Osama is gonna lose,he’s BLACK!
owlbear1 said,
June 27, 2008 at 15:05
BLACK scares ya does it ?
Well, if you hide under your bed and stay vewy, vewy, qwiet I’m sure the BLACK won’t get ya.
But the trick is to stay VEWY, VEWY, QWIET!
D.M. Nation said,
June 27, 2008 at 15:18
Morning, gents…think you might want to take a look at this. I think Hooters Hewitt needs the Old Yeller treatment.
maryc said,
June 27, 2008 at 15:20
Um, guys? Do you think you can come on over here to World O Crap and get Gary? He seems to have gotten confused and wandered away from you guys.
Blue Buddha said,
June 27, 2008 at 15:34
HH: “[I]t’s probably the last football game we’ll ever get to see before the United States gets blown up by the Islamists under Obama”
Hooters has gone so far off the deep end here that he forgets that the OSU-USC game is in September, the election isn’t until November, and the next President doesn’t get inaugurated until January. Hell, we might even see the Superbowl before inauguration day. At least he admits that Obama is going to win the election.
And being an Ohio State alumni, all I have to say is “Go Buckeyes!” =D
D.M. Nation said,
June 27, 2008 at 15:36
Yes, the Main! Stream! Media! needs to be lectured by a sterling moderate who says the United States gets blown up by the Islamists under Obama
Tool.
g said,
June 27, 2008 at 16:23
I think Hooters Hewitt needs the Old Yeller treatment.
Poor widdle Hughie. We’re gonna get hit by terraists, and he won’t be able to watch football! (note to self - check notes- is he the same asshole who claimed to be on the front lines of Terra because he had an office in the Empire State Building? or was that another Right Wing Tool?)
What an idiot. Yes, as Blue Buddha points out, the next college football game after Obama’s inauguration won’t be for another 9 months or so….what the fuck is he trying to say here?
And just listening to that asshole root for the OSU makes me - despite being an OSU alum - want to root for USC, even though they are that Other Institution in our Fair City.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
June 27, 2008 at 16:51
I think Hooters Hewitt needs the Old Yeller treatment.
Tough part of that will be finding someone who’ll cry after we shoot that dog.
pedestrian said,
June 27, 2008 at 17:12
Swanktastic
Biblical Christians must be aware that when Obama speaks of praying to Jesus, he is referring to the prophet Jesus as believed by Muslims. He is not referring to the incarnate deity who indwelt Jesus Christ as the Son of God.
I believe Obama to be a mask Muslim.
I know that Trinitarians tend to get a little confused on the subject of monotheism, but a Muslim is about as likely to pray to “prophet Jesus” as an Orthodox rabbi.
Next Pastor Grant will be breaking into Obama’s offiice looking for statues of Termagant
pedestrian said,
June 27, 2008 at 17:13
Sorry, my tags failed me. /swank after “mask Muslim”
g said,
June 27, 2008 at 17:22
I believe Swank to be a mask Zoarastrian.
There. See how easy it is? You don’t need facts n stuff like that.
In Vino Veritas said,
June 27, 2008 at 18:29
The Pakistanis did it first.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CkgX1_dz96s
notes said,
June 27, 2008 at 18:30
Yes Hewitt was/is on the front lines by bravely going to work in a New York skyscraper.
Candy said,
June 27, 2008 at 22:47
Um, guys? Do you think you can come on over here to World O Crap and get Gary? He seems to have gotten confused and wandered away from you guys.
Mary, can you and Scott watch Gary tonight? We’ll pack up a little bag with his Teddy and a stack of fresh diapers, and we’ll pay really, really well. Honest we will.
Smut Clyde said,
June 27, 2008 at 23:12
As for Glasgow pubs, depends what you are looking for, threats, violence, bigotry or bizzare, drunken chit chat?
Are there any that serve beer?
uptown said,
June 27, 2008 at 23:28
“core principles for which, in some sense,[...] is willing to die”
H’mmm. Since John McCain entered the Naval Academy after the Korean armistice and during a time of peace; how do we know if he would have volunteered for Vietnam - if he wasn’t already serving?
BTW, both his father and his grandfather were admirals in the Navy. It looks more like he was just joining the family business.
mikey said,
June 28, 2008 at 0:53
Hmm. Interesting question.
Core principles for which, in some sense, I am willing to die:
Sex.
Fun.
Food.
Did I mention fun?
Drugs.
Sex.
Fun.
That’s about it. Anything else? I might spend some time or money. But die?
Naaaahhh….
mikey
Doctorb said,
June 28, 2008 at 1:43
Yeah I don’t really think of The Domino Effect or French colonialism or whatever as something worth dying over.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
June 30, 2008 at 3:00
Take that you teutonic, bratwurst eating, England bombing, Wagner loving Niebelungenschaftwerks pansy boys!