20
In Which Our Job Gets Easier
I think this catching-up-with-one’s-email thing is paying off. Look what just came in:
Dear Human Events Reader,
Wouldn’t it be great if you could have instant impact on the political issues you care about most?
Well, now you can. And it won’t cost you a dime — or an extra minute of your valuable time.
All you have to do is join RedState’s Action Items Email List.
Then, whenever we identify some liberal outrage that needs stopping, or some conservative cause or politician that needs your immediate support, we’ll shoot you an email explaining the situation and giving you everything you need — such as phone numbers or web addresses — to take immediate and effective action.
It’s hard to believe, but Human Events and RedState.com are offering to help us make fun of them. I wonder if anyone else has gotten one of these emails? I think the Action Items will look something like this:
Hello, Actioneer!
Our own Jeff Emanuel has identified a liberal outrage in the passage of the Iraq War Bill. He says gleefully that liberals are being cynically manipulated by their leaders. For the sake of context, here are some links on how Emanuel personally helped stage the phony rescue of Pvt. Jessica Lynch.
Thanks!
Erick Erickson, RedState.com,
a.k.a. Human Events,
a.k.a. Eagle Publishing,
a.k.a. Regnery Publishing,
a.k.a. Alfred S. Regnery,
a.k.a. William Regnery II,
a.k.a. Noted White Supremacist Publications,
a.k.a. White Supremacist Dating Service
This spells ‘more Mario Kart time’ with a capital whee!
D.N. Nation said,
June 20, 2008 at 18:00
I signed up over at ClownHall a few months ago so I could troll Hooters Hewitt’s blog. The shit they e-mail me is comedy gold.
PeeJ said,
June 20, 2008 at 18:08
Gav, you should read the Human Events blasts regularly. They’re always entertaining, even the thrice-daily snake oil ads.
slippy hussein toad said,
June 20, 2008 at 18:12
Damn. I ended up on AFA’s action alerts mailing list. After sixty-five emails about the Horror uv Teh Ghey, it got boring. Well, actually after about three of them.
I’ll have to try these out for some fun.
Ripley said,
June 20, 2008 at 18:12
But… won’t making phone calls and visiting web sites take at least a minute of my valuable time? And how does visiting a web site constitute “immediate and effective action”?
“I read your web page. Take that, liberal fuckers!”
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
June 20, 2008 at 18:29
Actioneer sounds great and all, but wouldn’t they be using something more dynamic sounding like Action Item Patriot or Rapid Response Ranger or something like that?
Ripley said,
June 20, 2008 at 18:33
There was a boy in Arkansas
Who never listened to his Pa
When he told him that – hm?
Ohhhh… ACtioneer…. sorry….
WereBear said,
June 20, 2008 at 18:41
To me, it’s just right already. Actioneer has that ’50′s tang to it that these folks can’t resist.
If they add in a decoder ring, they’re really rockin’!
D.N. Nation said,
June 20, 2008 at 18:41
I didn’t know that you can trace a big majority of wingnut welfare reading material back to friggin white supremacists.
Oh, wait. I did know.
Ripley said,
June 20, 2008 at 18:44
I should add – I’m almost embarrassed that I remember that song, much less any of the lyrics.
You can take the boy out of the small town with a Country radio station but…
OneMan said,
June 20, 2008 at 18:45
I used Actioneer a lot during my WoW days. It was great for figuring out the value of drops and keeping track of trends at the ActionHouse. Made a lot of virtual gold with it. And the related add-ons, like Enchantrix, were handy too.
Wait, what?
tigrismus said,
June 20, 2008 at 18:58
Oh God, WereBear, if they give out decoder rings I’m switching teams- “Don’t forget to… drink your Ovaltine?”
SowellFan said,
June 20, 2008 at 19:07
Why can’t liberals understand basic things like the Laws Of Economics?
81,286 Unread Emails™²³®© said,
June 20, 2008 at 19:10
Why can’t liberals understand basic things like the Laws Of Economics?
They’re too complimacated.
Malfunctioning Brent Bozell III Robot said,
June 20, 2008 at 19:11
Digusting obscene Christmas mainstream media Hollywood Digusting obscene Christmas mainstream media Hollywood Digusting obscene Christmas mainstream media Hollywood Digusting obscene Christmas mainstream media Hollywood Digusting obscene Christmas mainstream media Hollywood Digusting obscene Christmas mainstream media Hollywood Digusting obscene Christmas mainstream media Hollywood Digusting obscene Christmas mainstream media Hollywood Digusting obscene Christmas mainstream media Hollywood Digusting obscene Christmas mainstream media Hollywood Digusting obscene Christmas mainstream media Hollywood Digusting obscene Christmas mainstream media Hollywood Digusting obscene Christmas mainstream media Hollywood Digusting obscene Christmas mainstream media Hollywood Digusting obscene Christmas mainstream media Hollywood Digusting obscene Christmas mainstream media Hollywood Digusting obscene Christmas mainstream media Hollywood Digusting obscene Christmas mainstream media Hollywood Digusting obscene Christmas mainstream media Hollywood Digusting obscene Christmas mainstream media Hollywood Digusting obscene Christmas mainstream media Hollywood Digusting obscene Christmas mainstream media Hollywood Digusting obscene Christmas mainstream media Hollywood Digusting obscene Christmas mainstream media Hollywood Digusting obscene Christmas mainstream media Hollywood Digusting obscene Christmas mainstream media Hollywood Digusting obscene Christmas mainstream media Hollywood Digusting obscene Christmas mainstream media Hollywood Digusting obscene Christmas mainstream media Hollywood Digusting obscene Christmas mainstream media Hollywood Digusting obscene Christmas mainstream media Hollywood Digusting obscene Christmas mainstream media Hollywood Digusting obscene Christmas mainstream media Hollywood Digusting obscene Christmas mainstream media Hollywood Digusting obscene Christmas mainstream media Hollywood Digusting obscene Christmas mainstream media Hollywood Digusting obscene Christmas mainstream media Hollywood Digusting obscene Christmas mainstream media Hollywood Digusting obscene Christmas mainstream media Hollywood Digusting obscene Christmas mainstream media Hollywood Digusting obscene Christmas mainstream media Hollywood Digusting obscene Christmas mainstream media Hollywood Digusting obscene Christmas mainstream media Hollywood Digusting obscene Christmas mainstream media Hollywood Digusting obscene Christmas mainstream media Hollywood Digusting obscene Christmas mainstream media Hollywood Digusting obscene Christmas mainstream media Hollywood Digusting obscene Christmas mainstream media Hollywood Digusting obscene Christmas mainstream media Hollywood Digusting obscene Christmas mainstream media Hollywood Digusting obscene Christmas mainstream media Hollywood Digusting obscene Christmas mainstream media Hollywood Digusting obscene Christmas mainstream media Hollywood Digusting obscene Christmas mainstream media Hollywood Digusting obscene Christmas mainstream media Hollywood Digusting obscene Christmas mainstream media Hollywood Digusting obscene Christmas mainstream media Hollywood Digusting obscene Christmas mainstream media Hollywood Digusting obscene Christmas mainstream media Hollywood Digusting obscene Christmas mainstream media Hollywood Digusting obscene Christmas mainstream media Hollywood Digusting obscene Christmas mainstream media Hollywood Digusting obscene Christmas mainstream media Hollywood Digusting obscene Christmas mainstream media Hollywood Digusting obscene Christmas mainstream media Hollywood Digusting obscene Christmas mainstream media Hollywood Digusting obscene Christmas mainstream media Hollywood Digusting obscene Christmas mainstream media Hollywood Digusting obscene Christmas mainstream media Hollywood Digusting obscene Christmas mainstream media Hollywood Digusting obscene Christmas mainstream media Hollywood Digusting obscene Christmas mainstream media Hollywood
D.N. Nation said,
June 20, 2008 at 19:12
Thomas Sowell’s Law of Economics:
1) Tell your white conservative readers that slavery wasn’t bad
2)
3) Profit.
a different brad said,
June 20, 2008 at 19:16
Ok, let’s get some Wii numbers so I can play some of you chumps on Kart.
Zifnab said,
June 20, 2008 at 19:20
Yeah, those action alerts are great. Same SPAM taste in my inbox, but way less filling. It’s always a comfort to know that RedState will bane you from their blog at the drop of a fart, but they’ll keep emailing you bullshit till the end of time.
Rufus said,
June 20, 2008 at 19:24
Dear SowellFan,
Wouldn’t it be great if you could have instant impact on the political issues you care about most?
Well, now you can. And it won’t cost you a dime — or an extra minute of your valuable time.
Trees are well known to be close associates and allies of stupid Liberals who like to hug them and who want you to believe that trees are more important than people. It is well known that trees need Carbon Dioxide to survive. It is also well known that every time you exhale, you are sending precious Carbon Dioxide into the air. This makes trees and Liberals very happy.
Therefore, the easiest way to defeat the Liberal Agenda that endangers every right-thinking American’s way of life is to stop exhaling. That’s right, you can breathe in all the oxygen you want. Just don’t exhale. This will help our cause in two ways. The Liberals will be deprived of some of the Oxygen they need to survive, and at the same time, the trees will be denied the CO2 they need. It’s a win-win situation, and YOU can contribute to our glorious victory without even getting up from your chair. Just stop exhaling.
Thank you for your generous contribution to this, the worthiest of all causes.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
June 20, 2008 at 19:33
Maybe it’s like those GI Joes you got except instead of Kung-Fu Grip, you get Action Ears and Citizen Journal Ids.
Righteous Bubba said,
June 20, 2008 at 19:51
Congrats to the courageous congressional Democrats who stuck to their guns and didn’t let that stupid FISA bill pass.
Jake H. said,
June 20, 2008 at 19:57
It’s nice that they’re offering innovative services to their clientele, but I have a better idea. What if they set up something like that Southwest Airlines thing that dings and tells you when there are low fares, except it’s a little orange icon that crunches and tells you when the Sev has a two-for-one deal on Spicy Hot Cheetohs.
David in NYC said,
June 20, 2008 at 20:03
Jeff explains the historical significance of his “rescue” of Jessica Lynch thusly:
“Can you tell me about the rescue mission for Jessica Lynch?” I ask.
“No ma’am,” Jeff says, smiling. “I can’t tell you any details. I can tell you she was in a hospital, and we went in and got her out safely. It was a heck of a morale booster. It was the first successful rescue of an American prisoner of war since World War II.”
Not, as we all know now, a genuine rescue. And, based on a exhaustive 5-second search of Google, also NOT the first since WWII. Well, of course, unless wingnut history has WWII occurring after Vietnam (certainly a possibility). Here’s the story of an ACTUAL rescue in 1967:
http://www.valorremembered.org/SWP_POWRescue.htm
Why let facts get in the way of a good story?
Jake H. said,
June 20, 2008 at 20:06
unless wingnut history has WWII occurring after Vietnam
F-D-R! F-D-R! HOW MANY KRAUTS DID YOU BOMB SO FAR?
MileHi Hawkeye said,
June 20, 2008 at 20:07
Wonder Twits Actioneer Powers activate!
MzNicky said,
June 20, 2008 at 20:07
Well RB, there you go again, siding on the part of lieberals and traitors against “patriotic private companies,” as Pete Hoekstra calls them, who “put their shareholders and employees at stake.”
http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/06/20/congress.wiretaps/index.html?eref=rss_topstories
Jake H. said,
June 20, 2008 at 20:13
Does Malkin do email alerts? I need to know when I should pretend to be outraged about someone wearing a scarf, and the names and addresses of injured children so I can harass their families.
Snowwy said,
June 20, 2008 at 20:44
Um, am I missing something here?
mikey said,
June 20, 2008 at 20:50
Fucking fuckers.
I’m sending another hundred bucks to Greenwald’s PAC. This pisses me off more than pretty much anything they’ve done yet. Because none of it needed to happen. It was all so easily preventable. In fact, it could NOT have occurred without the Democratic congress’s active involvement.
Here’s an interesting thing:
16. Do you approve or disapprove of the job Congress is doing?
Approve Disapprove (DK)
17-18 Jun 08 19% 69 13
Democrats 18% 71 11
Republicans 23% 64 13
Independents 15% 74 11
The Democratic controlled congress is more popular with republicans than it is with democrats. Fueling that annoying meme that there really is no difference between ‘em.
If we get REAL democrats in and these assclowns OUT, then there’ll be a difference…
mikey
Ripley said,
June 20, 2008 at 21:00
Looks to me like there’s some neo-con outrage that needs stopp- whoops, too late!
tigrismus said,
June 20, 2008 at 21:00
See how your congressman voted.
Dean Booth said,
June 20, 2008 at 21:07
Can the Senate still stop the FISA bill?
I emailed a bucket of so-called Democrats about this. I could not control myself and told Deborah Pryce how odd it was to have a War Criminal living in my neighborhood. Never thought I’d see that.
Djur said,
June 20, 2008 at 21:08
What a lovely democratic notion from the party of limited government.
Gavin M. said,
June 20, 2008 at 21:13
Here’s a link to the Greenwald/ActBlue PAC, btw.
OneMan said,
June 20, 2008 at 21:18
Thankfully, my congressman voted Nay. What is striking, though, is that Paul abstained. I thought he was the guy with all the principles.
Jake H. said,
June 20, 2008 at 21:20
What is striking, though, is that Paul abstained. I thought he was the guy with all the principles.
Sure he is, but don’t forget that one of those principles is “corporations are teh hawtniss.” It must have been a very difficult internal struggle for him.
gainsayer said,
June 20, 2008 at 21:20
Snowwy said,
June 20, 2008 at 20:44
Um, am I missing something here?
Yes.
Righteous Bubba said,
June 20, 2008 at 21:43
Can the Senate still stop the FISA bill?
Maybe that’ll be a Friday vote too.
Duros Hussein 62 said,
June 20, 2008 at 21:50
If they add in a decoder ring, they’re really rockin’!
Lessee, b 5….a 7…..q 9….j eleventy-2….
Hey, look, guys, it spells ni**er.
Joe Max said,
June 20, 2008 at 21:51
That’s the really nice thing about having Barbara Lee as my Rep. I already know how she voted.
ONE vote, in all of the House, against the authorization for war in 2002: Barbara Lee. Yes, Barbara Lee speaks for me!
pedestrian said,
June 20, 2008 at 21:59
The entire MA delegation voted against it. So that’s good.
Wish it helped.
Righteous Bubba said,
June 20, 2008 at 22:15
Now’s the time for Hillary to jump up and say “No way!” and all the delegates switch sides for a good fucking reason. And then I wake up.
Doc Washboard said,
June 20, 2008 at 22:17
Dibs on this for http://IReadYourWebPageTakeThatLiberalFuckers.blogspot.com.
Candy said,
June 20, 2008 at 22:26
Oh goddamn that dirty DINO Bush Dawg Leonard Boswell. I voted for his primary challenger and did my damndest to get rid of this old prick, but sadly it didn’t work. I’m not sure I can vote for Boswell in good conscience this fall. I don’t know what I’ll do. Write in Ed Fallon, maybe. Fuck.
At least the other two Iowa Dems, Loebsack and Braley, voted the right way. They are turning out to be damned good freshmen.
Of course, the two Iowa Rethugs voted wrong. That’s to be expected.
Snort said,
June 20, 2008 at 22:30
Emanuel is also with these critters. They seem to have ties to DeLay. Can’t get linky to work, but texasobserver.org has a good article about them, “Patriots for Hire”.
Snort said,
June 20, 2008 at 22:48
Oh my, Emanuel is a busy little monkey . Scroll down to staff. He’s a managing editor.
kenga said,
June 20, 2008 at 23:04
If only we could get people to believe that’s the root of recent successes by local sports franchises.
Doctor Missus Marita said,
June 20, 2008 at 23:20
If only we could get people to believe that’s the root of recent successes by local sports franchises.
I think we all know that the sports success is due to gay marriage, kenga.
Spread the word!
Ray Rl said,
June 20, 2008 at 23:27
I love this site, but it is really screwed up
the way it appears on firefox 3.0 Make
some effort to fix that please.
tigrismus said,
June 20, 2008 at 23:38
Huh, I have 3.0 and it looks fine to me.
Marita said,
June 20, 2008 at 23:41
Yeah, me too.
Righteous Bubba said,
June 20, 2008 at 23:43
Fine too, Mac and PC. Check your add-ons.
Arky - Chuthuhlusexual said,
June 20, 2008 at 23:51
I’m all for putting an end to liberal outrage. Erik the Red State can help by fucking off and that will be one less thing for us to be outraged about.
Duros Hussein 62 said,
June 21, 2008 at 0:05
I’m on v. 2.0 (Mac) and I’ve never had a problem.
WordPress, OTOH…
Duros Hussein 62 said,
June 21, 2008 at 0:07
RI delegation split. One up, one down.
=(
But, you know, it’s Patrick Kennedy, so I had a pretty good idea which way he’d go.
Doctorb said,
June 21, 2008 at 0:41
PLEASE FIX YOUR W
EBSITE. IT DOES NO
T DISPLAY PROPERL
Y ON MY GAMEBOY.
ADVTHANKSVANCE
DOCTORB
–
SW0RD OF DOOM
O===//===========/
Simba B said,
June 21, 2008 at 0:49
I’ve been using the Firefox 3.0 alpha/betas on Linux for some time now. There are no issues.
Snorghagen said,
June 21, 2008 at 0:55
The guy who would’ve been my congressman if DeLay hadn’t gerrymandered my city voted nay. The guy who actually is my congressman nowadays is an odious shitsucking Bush love-slave. I try not to acknowledge his existence, but I presume that he voted yes and that he’ll be well paid for it.
Poland™²³®© said,
June 21, 2008 at 1:08
Yore webcight is breauken.
Teh his story thred taks 2 lawng too lode.
Snorghagen said,
June 21, 2008 at 1:24
At last! A way for me to hook up with those sultry Klan babes of my dreams.
MzNicky said,
June 21, 2008 at 1:49
Did I even have to look to see how my congressperson voted? Sadly, no.
Firefox 2.0.0.8 on an iBook G4 here reporting in with no problems whatsoever.
mikey said,
June 21, 2008 at 1:49
Firefox 3 on Vista – No Problems
Firefox 3 on Xanderos – No Problems
Konqueror on Xanderos – No Problems
Firefox 3 on Fedora 9 – No Problems
Firefox 2 on Ubuntu – No Problems
Whoops. Gotta upgrade that Ubuntu VM…
mikey
mikey said,
June 21, 2008 at 1:49
Snorg – Last I checked, there were some Prussian Blue chix in teh basement…
mikey
kenga said,
June 21, 2008 at 2:25
[forehead smack]
Duh! Wow. I’m so comfortable with it I must have been distracted by boobies and just forgot.
But, in my defense, certain elements of the Constitution of the Commonwealth reflect a broader philosophical culture(?) that can be seen manifested collectively in our legislative representatives. Indeed, that is central to my point.
Caitlin Sith said,
June 21, 2008 at 2:45
I loved Jennifer Connelly in The Actioneer.
Andre said,
June 21, 2008 at 4:51
Hey Snorg, be careful what you wish for:
http://www.allwhitedating.com
Andre said,
June 21, 2008 at 4:53
BTW, Firefox 3 on Kubuntu (KDE 3) is also fine.
Kip W said,
June 27, 2008 at 2:20
“What, Me Outraged?” — Alfred E. Manuel