As it is, in my neighborhood, they’re just annoying. The nostalgia factor is gone. And Debbie, you unbalanced Zionist, have you ever heard of grocery stores? Believe it or not you can buy ice cream there. Who’d a thunk it? And as a parent you can give it to your kids at your own discretion. I know Schlussel, despite her supposed conservatism, must like the nanny state, since she hates fat women. Well come to think of it, she hates just about everything-unless muslims decide they don’t like it.

globally warmed ice cream van

D-KW: I meant to say last night that you are indeed spot-on about dorky dancing dudes. Meanwhile, I’m afraid you must submit a photo in order for your intriguing claim to be verified by the proper authorities.

Tucker Carlson’s secret: dancing. Not joking.

Does the buffoon take himself way too seriously? Yes he does. But not so much that he isn’t willing to dance. That’s the key – slightly dorky guys who are willing to bust a move get all teh ladies hot and bothered. If, however, you are a ridiculously fine piece of man-meat like myself, then you’d do better to move like Gene Kelly or Fred Astaire. So remember that the next time you get a chance to get out on the dance floor. If you don’t go, then you’re more stuck-up and stuffy than Bow-Tie McGee.

The only response was MzNicky asking for us not to take her thing for Tucker out of context. So here we are, almost 100 posts on and my claims remain unchallenged – because they are true. Dorky guys who are willing to dance are hot. All you dorks that can’t get laid – take some dance classes. Geez, take a latin dance class, and the chiquitas there’ll treat you like Richard Gere (minus the gerbil). You don’t even have to get good at dancing, in fact being kinda off, actually helps.

And more importantly, the whole intortubules can not deny that I am a ridiculously fine piece of man-meat.

That would be Tonya Harding.

Except that Tonya was actually once really great at something.

Oh, and good morning.

No amount of alcohol could persuade me that Taylor Carlson is anything more than a sublime punching bag for my kickboxing feet.

I smell fundraiser! Sorry Lesley, you’re going to have to stay more-or-less sober.
For the kids, I mean.

How about Quasimodo without a penis? Asking for a friend.

So Thanks!

Oh. And sorry…

mikey

And – one interesting note – I used to be quite disasterously attracted to Bad Boys, so you’d think there would be at least ONE conservative asshole I’d find attractive. But no, I actually can’t think of a one.

The non-Bad-Boy types, like Limbaugh, Doughy and Don Surber are simply too flaccid and entitled to be attractive; the really psychopathic ones, like Glen Beck G. Gordon Liddy,etc., make me never want to be within 100 yards of them. Even the little lord types, like Virgin Ben, make me want to pat them on the head and send them on their way.

So, OK, MzNicky, I suppose that as a Conservative, Tucker is unique in that a gal could actually imagine doing him, rather than being repelled.

Dad?

Wannafightaboudit?

Great day in the morning to you, Jacob.

*bangs pots loudly, slams door*

How’s everyone feeling this am?

Oh, you haven’t enjoyed Big Head Todd and the Monsters until you seen them at Red Rocks on a clear, sparkly Colorado summer’s eve.

Today is the Westword Music Fest and MileHi get to see the Drive-By Truckers and a ton of local bands without staying up past his bedtime. Yeah!

that’s why you gotta put something acid in the cooking liquid. Lemon juice, or cider vinegar, or white wine. Acid makes it turn that lovely red-violet. Without acid it looks like a bruise.

And I am NOT hungover, I tellya. Not.