13
Popsicle Woes
You have probably been blissfully unaware that the latest tactic being employed by teh Moooslims in their battle to establish a caliphate in the United States and to replace your neighborhood Hooters with a Falafel Hut is going on in Dearborn, Michigan, and involves ice cream trucks. To learn more, we must enter the strange world of Debbie Schlussel where a Mooslim wielding a scimitar lurks behind every potted plant.
Some of my fondest memories as a kid, hanging out with my Dad, are when we’d meet up with the neighborhood ice cream truck, during the hot summer, and he’d buy me one of my favorites: The Bomb Pop–red, white, and blue, it was patriotic, yummy, and cool on a hot day. And as you know, the only way to know the truck is coming is to hear its music.
…
And these Muslims–who don’t like American culture and want to shut it, and all American-style fun, down–have now succeeded in getting Dearborn Heights police to enforce old, never enforced noise rules to keep ice cream trucks out.
Why teh Mooslims have issued a fatwa against ice cream trucks is never explained by Debbie. I assume it must have something to do with the red, white and blue “patriotic” Bomb Pops which steel young boys and girls against the wiles of the jihad. Without those Bomb Pops, American boys and girls will be kneeling on prayer mats and facing Mecca faster than you can say Allahu Akbar.
Nor is the connection of the Muslims to the truck ban explained. Let’s roll the Debbie tape:
On Tuesday, the City Council is expected to adopt an ordinance that will allow ice cream vendors to ring bells only while they are selling their goods. . . .
Oh noes, has Mooslims gotten in ur city council in Dearborn Heights? Sadly, no! — see all teh Mooslims for yourself:
Tomorrow Debbie will explain how teh Mooslims are responsible for the glut of reality programming on the TeeVee this summer, the disappearance of the chocolate-covered PayDay candy bar, and the end of Laura Ingraham’s radio program.
mikey said,
June 13, 2008 at 16:47
Muslims put bacteria in my tomatoes!!
Muslims said my sister is FAT!
Muslims gave me high blood pressure!!
Muslims killed my Ficus tree!!
Muslims broke my dining room table!!
Muslims ate my Ermintaller cheese!!
Muslims used my credit card to buy Pool Toys!!
And here I’ve been all spun up about Bill Ayers….
mikey
D.N. Nation said,
June 13, 2008 at 16:51
Debbie-
First, what’s up, girl? Whatcha thinkin’ about? Want a drink?
Okay, anyway. How stone-cold stoopid do you have to be to mistake friggin NIMBYism for Teh Islam? What’s next? Homeowners Associations = The Caliphate? Volvos = Weapons of Jihad? Is this the new Liberal Fascism?
But I digress. Call me, Debbie.
Gray Lensman said,
June 13, 2008 at 16:54
We have an ice cream truck in our neighborhood. The only danger I see besides the sugar content is trying to get “Red Wing” out of my mind for the rest of the day. La, la, la, la,…make it stop!
dbati said,
June 13, 2008 at 16:54
Ice cream trucks = teh suxx0r.
These fuckers wait outside the school and start their shitty music as soon as the kids emerge, causing all the parents to roll their eyes. When we first moved in to our neighborhood (8 years ago) we didn’t know that there was an ice cream truck. As soon as it got warm, though, this fucker would drive by our house just as the 2 year old was starting his afternoon nap. Always woke him up, always.
Now, if the guy were to sell cold beers as well, that may be a different story.
Oh, yeah, Debbie is a crazy bitch that should be run over by an ice cream truck and taste her own blood.
gbear said,
June 13, 2008 at 16:56
Interesting. Seems like around my neighborhood all the ice cream trucks are being operated by the types of folks of which Lil’ Debbie would not approve. The Jihad pops are great.
OTB said,
June 13, 2008 at 16:57
The guy in the back row right has facial hair, which is a sure sign of encroaching musliminismhoodishnessity. The only people who wear “face burkas” like that are:
-muslim terrorists;
-neocon pundits;
-police officers;
-gays;
-the Village People
Ipso facto ergo sum. Terrorism = Dearborn. (Victory dance….)
Cangrejero said,
June 13, 2008 at 16:58
At this point, I will seriously not be surprised in the least when Debbie and Michelle Malkin start a joint investigation into how Mr. Softee’s bowtie is a symbol of solidarity with the Nation of Islam. Seriously, I can completely see this happening.
Monty said,
June 13, 2008 at 16:59
Does this mean President B. Hussein Obama is going to shut down “all American-style fun?”
We have the best, most important fun on the planet! Our fun is second to none!
I will kill for fun!!
Rosali said,
June 13, 2008 at 16:59
Uh oh. It looks like New York’s Mayor Bloomberg is unpatriotic too.
Doofus said,
June 13, 2008 at 17:01
I’m surprised they’re allowed to call them “Bomb Pops” anymore.
Sounds like an order given to a sibling by a disgruntled son. I’m betting, if they’re selling these in Baghdad, a “Bomb Pop” isn’t frozen on a stick and costing only $0.99….
henry lewis said,
June 13, 2008 at 17:02
I drove an ice cream truck one summer, last millenium. The music was a tinkly, digitalized version of Joplin’s ‘The Entertainer’ on an endless loop distorted by a cheap horn speaker. So, yeah, I’m guilty.
I got egged once and screamed at occasionally, but the dude (think numchucks guy from ‘Ghost World’) who stood in front of my truck Tiananmen Square-style blocking my progress until a cop warned him away wasn’t Muslim.
What say you, Debbie?
SpotWeld said,
June 13, 2008 at 17:05
I realize that I may be spouting some “conventional wisdom” here. But isn’t this “ice cream trucks vs. noise ordinaces” a topic that comes up every summer? It’s one of those human interest reports that floats around the newsrooms along with the “kids playing in the open firehydrants”, “10 tips on how to beat the heat” and “Why you shouldn’t leave your pets in the car on a hot day.”
J— said,
June 13, 2008 at 17:06
Yippee, it’s Mr. Whippy!
Or not.
Gundamhead said,
June 13, 2008 at 17:06
“Tomorrow Debbie will explain how teh Mooslims are responsible for the glut of reality programming on the TeeVee this summer”
I can see that. OBL is just evil enough.
Buskertype said,
June 13, 2008 at 17:08
Dude some muslim just sneaked into the kitchen and turned up the burner so my pot of beans boiled over. Stop burying your head in the sand!!!!!
handy said,
June 13, 2008 at 17:11
Are there any reasonably intelligent wingers not already sucking the government teat?
Evan said,
June 13, 2008 at 17:12
Well, I read the article, and it turns out the city council is doing this because of… anonymous complaints. Anonymous! That sounds pretty shifty to me. The people complaining must have something to hide. And shifty people who have something to hide are probably muslim terrorists. It only stands to reason.
pedestrian said,
June 13, 2008 at 17:12
Yeah, but take a look at the demographics:
Omigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomi… wait, what’s this?
AAGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Buskertype said,
June 13, 2008 at 17:15
some dirty muslim expedited my parts order so now I have to get off the internets and go work on my girlfriend’s car. I knew to expect this after the supreme court’s decision, but my god they work fast.
tigrismus said,
June 13, 2008 at 17:17
Sadly, there were no survivors of the war between Mr McCool and Mr Bunny.
henry lewis said,
June 13, 2008 at 17:18
And if I scarred anyone’s brain with an earworm of The Entertainer, then my work here is done.
bago said,
June 13, 2008 at 17:19
Obviously, Sweet Tooth is a menace to society.
OneMan said,
June 13, 2008 at 17:20
First off, the picture? That’s beautiful, man.
Second, Debbie-does-Dearborn(-Heights) is an incredible concentration of stupid in a 165-pound bleached-blonde sack of flesh.
OIC…It isn’t said, Teh Debster just knows it, probably thanks to the super-secret radio transmissions she receives through her tinfoil hat.
Uh-oh, I see her face working and turning red…must be getting ready to pull another blanket statement out of her ass:
Hm, care to cite some sort of reference to this going on? Or has the LIE-beral press conspired to keep the Muslim boot on the neck of the Dearborn Heightsians?
Oh never mind. That smacks of effort and she’s too busy (wink wink) with her “Bomb Pop” to bother.
g said,
June 13, 2008 at 17:22
Clearly, the Mooslims object to constant repetition of “Here We Go Round the Mulberry Bush”.
That’s a caliphiite I can get behind.
another jim said,
June 13, 2008 at 17:23
My God. I went to that linked article – my eyes!!
It is hard to overstate the level of that crazy.
The PC press-coverage doesn’t note that Muslims are behind it. But they are. Until they took over this city, which neighbors Dearbornistan, ice cream trucks never had a problem.
Muslims are also responsible for that ten pounds Debbie put on, because she never gained weight like that before from *just one* ice cream. Okay, maybe two. But it was hot! And anyway, it’s summer! I shouldn’t be gaining weight. Damn you jihadists!
Jacob Singer said,
June 13, 2008 at 17:23
I wonder if Debbie’s constant, euphoric sucking on all all of those “patriotic bomb pops” with her Dad had any effect on her develpoment…
Jacob Singer said,
June 13, 2008 at 17:24
I mean development. Arg. Need caffeine.
Clint said,
June 13, 2008 at 17:25
I’m sure Debs works the Bomb Pop just fine with or without annoying ice cream truck bells to accompany her.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go buy some brain bleach to get that image outta my mind.
another jim said,
June 13, 2008 at 17:25
Sadly, there were no survivors of the war between Mr McCool and Mr Bunny.
This was due to the Cold (Treat) War doctrine of “Mutual Assured Deliciousness”.
Cyrus said,
June 13, 2008 at 17:27
Wow, even for stupidity, that Schlussel post is stupid. The article doesn’t mention Muslims at all. If it mentioned that judge David Turfe was involved in this decision at all, I missed it. And these people wouldn’t even know there was anything wrong with Turfe unless they were told — forgive the profiling, but he doesn’t even look Arab! I guess the reasoning here is that anything colored red, white and blue is an essential part of American life and identity, and there is no reason to oppose any part of American life and identity except for hating America, and… I’ve lost me.
I liked the first comment.
alli said,
June 13, 2008 at 17:28
That part of Detroit Metro has the highest concentration of Arabs outside the Middle East, I believe – but there’s no connection between that fact and this ice cream truck fiasco. So it’s just a stupid ad hominem argument. What a surprise.
ice weasel said,
June 13, 2008 at 17:28
First off, bomb pops suck. It’s a big fucking popsicle. That’s all. Who cares? And red, white and blue bomb pops? Give me a fucking break has this bitch always been so affected? What kid, what real kid must have a “patriotic” bomb pop? Sweet jumpin jeezus this skank is full of shit, the red, yellow and green ones were the only good flavor again, assuming you got stuck with getting nothing better than a shitty, frozen ice, bomb pop anyway.
g said,
June 13, 2008 at 17:29
The commenters on her site deplore this mooslim assault on our American rights to hear ice cream truck jingles, and follow that thought immediately with the comment that if the playing of hip-hop tunes were banned that would be just fine with them.
Malfunctioning Glenn Reynolds-Debbie Schlussel HybridBot said,
June 13, 2008 at 17:31
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Dan Someone said,
June 13, 2008 at 17:31
Big ups to tigrismus for the Comfort and Joy reference. All glory to Bill Forsyth.
portly neighbor said,
June 13, 2008 at 17:33
tigrismus- Hello, folks! (btw, best cinematic breakup, imo)
Brandon said,
June 13, 2008 at 17:34
I think part of the reason behind Debbie’s paranoia is that Dearborn has a fairly large Arab population. The truly hilarious part is that it’s largely CHRISTIAN Arab. But all those towel-heads are the same, right?
teegee said,
June 13, 2008 at 17:35
Sounds like an order given to a sibling by a disgruntled son.
Well played, doofus.
gbear said,
June 13, 2008 at 17:37
And if I scarred anyone’s brain with an earworm of The Entertainer, then my work here is done.
Your work is not done. I’ve got a best of Sandy Denny CD on at work today. Nothing can penetrate the spell cast by her voice and music.
Dan Someone said,
June 13, 2008 at 17:37
Not to be pedantic, portly neighbor, but I believe the line you’re looking for is:”Cheerio, folks!”
pedestrian said,
June 13, 2008 at 17:38
Those nefarious Ayrabs must have secretly infiltrated central Michigan years ago, clawed their way into power, and banned patriotic ice cream music, just so they could do the same thing today in the neighborhoods that they actually live in without anyone suspecting. But Debbie is onto their tricks. She knows that THEY WILL STOP AT NOTHING!
Gundamhead said,
June 13, 2008 at 17:41
“The commenters on her site deplore this mooslim assault on our American rights to hear ice cream truck jingles, and follow that thought immediately with the comment that if the playing of hip-hop tunes were banned that would be just fine with them.”
But that hippity-hopping jungle music makes the darkies commit crimes and want to rape white women. It’s almost as bad as that rock and/or roll! Ice cream truck jingles on the other hand are Patriotic celebrations of capitalism and American can-do spirit. If only they would ban every type of music other than Pat Boone, John Phillip Sousa and Toby Keith…ah, what a Godly, Reaganly and Patriotic nation we would be! Hateful Liberal Dhimmis and there Un-Patriotic first amendment!
Bigby said,
June 13, 2008 at 17:41
O’Boyle’s “screwballs” were the bomb. Sherbert in a plastic cup with a chalky gumball on the bottom. Covered at first with a paper lid, one was ‘cool’ in 1974 if you got it to stick to the back of the truck as it drove away. Came with a wooden spoon.
O’Boyle’s trucks just had a loud bell the driver hit with a hammer as he drove back then.
Today, now in Baltimore, Miss Twist comes by about 11pm every night, nearly year round. Plays Raindrops Keep Fallin’ On My Head. Wait, could it be? Miss Twist is a Musselman, on Al Qaeda Time (11pm for ice cream?!? That’s CRAZY!)? Playing “United Flight 93 Keeps Falling On My Head”, merely 170 miles from Shanksville, PA?!?! I knew it!!111one!. I’m kicking Miss Twist’s islamofascist ass tonight (after a vanilla chocolate softserve twist cone with jimmies…).
noen said,
June 13, 2008 at 17:43
I never care for the Bomb Pops. I like the orange push-ups, couldn’t get enough of them. It was a pure sugar high. hmmmm… Orange push-ups ==== Great Orange Satan? Wow, I never knew.
pedestrian said,
June 13, 2008 at 17:47
I love the commenter who replies to, “We drove them out of Spain, we can drive them out of here” with, “The Jews? You antisemitic bastard, I hope Debbie bans your ass!”
It is too funny forever.
Bobby Abreu said,
June 13, 2008 at 17:49
It was hot the other day, so I went to my neighborhood ice cream shop. The place has been in business for like 100 years. I asked the grandmotherly-type woman behind the counter for a scoop of banana and a scoop of strawberry in a cup. She handed me my order and I looked at it with amazement. Can you believe that my ice cream wasn’t red white and blue? How did she expect me to eat this ice cream that so clearly wasn’t Patriotically Correct? How had the internationaly caliphate get to this woman?
So, I shoved the Islamonazi ice cream in her dhimmi face and started a blog.
dbati said,
June 13, 2008 at 17:55
I’ma gonna cast my vote FOR bomb pops. On a hot summer night (we don’t have the luxury of A/C) a nice bomb pop is just the thing to cool you down.
Sure, it’s just ice and flavor, but for the love of sweet infant Jesusphone, it is patriotic and delish.
Therefore, let it be known, that I give bomb pops a “what-what” (to use the vernacular of the day).
Oh, yeah, and Lil Debbie can still eat a back of bomb-cocks.
dbati said,
June 13, 2008 at 17:55
bag of bob-cocks
tigrismus said,
June 13, 2008 at 17:55
Not to be pedantic, portly neighbor, but I believe the line you’re looking for is:”Cheerio, folks!”
Is it? I thought it was “hello folks” too. At least that’s what it sounds like to me in this scene…
Others don’t click if you haven’t seen the film, the revelation’s got to come upon you.
dbati said,
June 13, 2008 at 17:55
bomb-cocks
fuck me, I’ll never get it right.
commie atheist said,
June 13, 2008 at 17:58
Apparently this is all because the people of Dearborn elected an openly Muslim judge. ELECTED!!!! As in, THEY VOTED FOR HIM!!!!!! What were they thinking?
And they let a mosque open within the city limits. A MOSQUE!!!!! OMFG!!!!! The caliphate is nigh.
And I love how Debbie’s commenters notice that there is no mention of Muslims compalining about the ice cream trucks in the linked articles, but just take it as evidence of the supression of truth by the Islamocommiefascist MSM. More Kool Aid, please!
El Cid said,
June 13, 2008 at 18:02
You laugh, but what none of you recall is that in the 1948 war over the establishment of Israel, the Israeli Irgun irregular terrorist forces primarily operated out of ice cream trucks.
Books could be filled with the anguished cries of Palestinian Arabs who rushed outside hoping to purchase a nice ice cream only to be gunned down in the streets.
For this reason, all Arab wars for the last decades have been ceremonially launched by the dropping of a popsicle stick by the senior commander.
None of this is well known outside certain knowledgeable circles.
debbie schlussel said,
June 13, 2008 at 18:02
Oh, yeah, Debbie is a crazy bitch that should be run over by an ice cream truck and taste her own blood.
Well, I have tasted my own menstrual flow.
pedestrian said,
June 13, 2008 at 18:06
I prefer the Fudgsicles myself.
I call the milk chocolate one the Obamapop.
SamFromUtah said,
June 13, 2008 at 18:07
Homeowners Associations = The Caliphate?
Actually, she’d be on firmer ground there.
Clang said,
June 13, 2008 at 18:10
Go to the window. Go to the window.
tigrismus said,
June 13, 2008 at 18:11
debbie schlussel18:02
No. Just no.
OneMan said,
June 13, 2008 at 18:12
On second thought, I take it back. You should have used “fat Debbie” on the side of the ice cream truck, as in here.
D.N. Nation said,
June 13, 2008 at 18:14
Anyone else get this stuck in your head whenever you visit places like Schlussel’s?
christian h. said,
June 13, 2008 at 18:14
Personally, Ice Cream trucks always remind me of various horror movies – but I don’t remember which ones. Weird. Probably repressed that memory when I was in Jihad camp one summer.
Legalize said,
June 13, 2008 at 18:16
First they came for the Klondike Bars. But I did not eat Klondike Bars.
Gus said,
June 13, 2008 at 18:24
God, she’s a batshit loon. Bomb pops are patriotic treats? If we can figure out how to make a red, white and blue candy bar, we could make a mint selling to deranged freaks like her.
not even an mba said,
June 13, 2008 at 18:24
It is too funny forever.
That comment over there is brilliant. Approving of driving jews out of Spain – bannable offense. Oh they were mooslim? Well that’s all right then. Followed by the Animal Farm quote “All animals are equal, but some are more equal then others”
mikey said,
June 13, 2008 at 18:25
It’s already pretty hot this morning. Now I have to go get one of those Orange and White Fifty Fifties on a stick.
What the hell, it’s close enough to orange juice to qualify.
Am I right?
mikey
Cargo said,
June 13, 2008 at 18:26
I took a bite out of a Dilly Bar the other day and it resembled an Islamic crescent! I screamed, immediately vomited and had to throw the rest away. And that Dairy Queen won’t let me in anymore. To avoid this horror in future I cram the entire thing into my mouth at once but that gives me a wicked ice cream headache. Dang muslims!
not even an mba said,
June 13, 2008 at 18:31
WTF! This isn’t even about ice cream. She’s upset that the police are enforcing an existing by-law preventing loud noise.
The next time she makes a peep about the lack of enforcement over illegal immigration, I’m hunting her down and throwing poopsicles at her.
dbati said,
June 13, 2008 at 18:32
Cargo,
I stay away from the dilly bar for that reason (and it also looks like a boobie–how gross is that?)
Stick to the Buster Bar. If the DQ could only make it Red,White und Blue, we’d have a winner.
not even an mba said,
June 13, 2008 at 18:33
Wait, why didn’t I see it before. It is all about banning ice cream. Islamo-hindus don’t eat ice cream because they worship cows. That’s right isn’t it?
g said,
June 13, 2008 at 18:33
Somebody mentioned it in the previous thread, but it bears repeating – one of her commentors chides the others for their ignorance about the history of Spain, and suggests they read about “El Sid.”
Dan said,
June 13, 2008 at 18:39
“It’s interesting that the Muslim call to prayer, which blares from five in the morning to ten or eleven at night and preaches the supremacy of Mohammed, does not constitute noise pollution to these people. But ice cream trucks, that’s the problem.” -Debbie
“The law, which doesn’t address ice cream trucks, said vendors cannot draw attention “by use of horn, bell, whistle or other apparatus.” -The article she cites
Debbie, law school graduate, is apparently unable to read the law well enough to realize that it applies to vendors, not religious institutions.
.
g said,
June 13, 2008 at 18:39
Actually, as far as ice cream goes, my Dhimmi self has already been brainwashed by the Caliphate to prefer the evil Islamofascist ice cream of the Iranian regime:
Mashti Malone’s
The store belongs to two brothers, Mashti,and Mehdi Shirvani,who grew up Mashhad, a small town in northern Iran.
If their rosewater saffron icecream with pistachios weren’t so absolutely delicious, I’d turn them in for their suspicious co-opting of an honorable Amurkan name like Malone.
“We are not Malones,” says Mehdi, the lively younger brother, and salesman of the joint. “Do I look like a Malone?”
J Neo Marvin said,
June 13, 2008 at 18:40
I didn’t read El Sid, but I saw the movie. Gary Oldman did a good job playing him.
J Neo Marvin said,
June 13, 2008 at 18:41
I’m in favor of passing a law to make all ice cream trucks play Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan when they drive by.
pedestrian said,
June 13, 2008 at 18:43
“El Sid.”
Oh yeah. La Nancy really did a Yoko on him.
g said,
June 13, 2008 at 18:44
Islamo-hindus don’t eat ice cream because they worship cows. That’s right isn’t it?
Sadly, no.
The icy tentacles of the Caliphate has corrupted the delicious dessert treats of South Asia.
g said,
June 13, 2008 at 18:45
I’m in favor of passing a law to make all ice cream trucks play Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan when they drive by.
I’ll co-sponsor that one!
King Crimson said,
June 13, 2008 at 18:46
Health-food faggot with a bartered bride
Likes to comb his hair with a dipper ride
Once had a friend with a cloven foot
Once he called the tune in a chequered quit
Great Deceiver
In the door on the floor in a paper bag
There’s a shoe-shine boy with a gin-shop slag
She raised him up and she called him son
And she canonised the ground that he walked upon
Great Deceiver
Cigarettes, ice cream, figurines of the Virgin Mary
Cigarettes, ice cream, figurines of the Virgin Mary
Cigarettes, ice cream, cadillacs blue jeans
In the night he’s a star in the Milky Way
He’s a man of the world by the light of day
A golden smile and a proposition
And the breath of God smells of sweet sedition
Great Deceiver
Sing hymns make love get high fall dead
He’ll bring his perfume to your bed
He’ll charm your life ’til the cold winds blow
Then he’ll sell your dreams to a picture show
Cigarettes, ice cream, figurines of the Virgin Mary
Cigarettes, ice cream, figurines of the Virgin Mary
Cadillacs, blue jeans, dixieland playing on the ferry
Cadillacs, blues jeans, drop a glass full of antique sherry
Dan Someone said,
June 13, 2008 at 18:49
tigrismus, you are correct. “Hello folks” it is. All these years, I had misremembered that line. ::bows head in shame::
Red said,
June 13, 2008 at 18:58
Miss Scheissel:
I dare you to make less sense.
FGFM said,
June 13, 2008 at 18:58
The price of freedom is eternal vigilance.
Los Angeles Times
In 1994, acting on tips from Israeli intelligence, U.N. inspectors even stopped red-and-white trucks in Baghdad marked: “Tip Top Ice Cream.” Inside they found ice cream.
Doofus said,
June 13, 2008 at 18:59
Second, Debbie-does-Dearborn(-Heights) is an incredible concentration of stupid in a 165-pound bleached-blonde sack of flesh
Maybe on a scale pre-set to -100.
SamFromUtah said,
June 13, 2008 at 18:59
When I was in college there was an ice cream truck that zoomed around blaring a warbly music-box version of “You Light Up My Life”. There should definitely be a fatwa against that.
tigrismus said,
June 13, 2008 at 19:03
Heck, there’s no shame… you probably couldn’t hear it clearly over the chortling.
And Nusrat ice cream trucks, somebody say Allah Hoo!
g said,
June 13, 2008 at 19:04
I suspect that Debbie might not be so quick to defend the rights of ice cream trucks to travel freely in our Heartland and play their insidious music among us if she were to remember the heroic foiling of the attempted Ice Cream jihad in California in 2005.
Blue Buddha said,
June 13, 2008 at 19:06
Give me
libertyice cream, or give me death!Djur said,
June 13, 2008 at 19:08
So when my music player played a really quietly recorded Big Black song, causing me to increase the volume, and then shuffled to an extremely loudly recorded Parliament tune, causing my ears to ring…
… that was the Muslims, in [my] computer, fiddlin with [my] normalization settings?
The fiends!
not even an mba said,
June 13, 2008 at 19:10
The icy tentacles of the Caliphate has corrupted the delicious dessert treats of South Asia
Nooooo!!! Well at least those dirty Moose-lems can’t dirty the good old American tradition of barbecue.
Scott said,
June 13, 2008 at 19:10
Man, that’s a buttload of paranoia.
I used to be a big fan of Diana Kossy’s “Kooks” book and website, and reading some of Debbie’s stuff is a lot like reading some of the mimeographed pamphlets from schizophrenics that Kossy would reprint.
So yeah, Debbie’s crazy. But I also get the feeling that she’s craaaaaazy.
protected static said,
June 13, 2008 at 19:12
Our neighborhood ice cream truck plays “Daisy,” sounding not unlike H.A.L. as he’s shutting down…
I’d ban his ass from our neighborhood if I could, but that’s mostly because he hauls ass down the residential streets (where the, um, kids are) and spends a lot of time trolling Gas Works Park (not entirely a kid-friendly place, esp. at dusk) and the local junior high school.
While we’ve successfully purchased ice cream from him, we suspect that isn’t his primary product line…
javafascist said,
June 13, 2008 at 19:14
Back to back Lil’ Debbie posts on the same day that Pam and Tommy Lee are said to be getting back together…coincidence? I think not! That Motley Crue reunion will have to wait just a bit longer.
cleek said,
June 13, 2008 at 19:25
the Radical IslamoNIMBYFascists are thatmuch closer to implementing full-blown Sharia!
Snorghagen said,
June 13, 2008 at 19:29
Does it really need to be explained? The Muslim maniacs want to force our American vendors out of business so they can send their own armored ice cream vehicles into our unprotected neighborhoods.
El Cid said,
June 13, 2008 at 19:30
That would be my less famous Yiddish comedian cousin, and the famed poem El Cantar De Wacka Wacka Wacka.
Smiling Mortician said,
June 13, 2008 at 19:30
I think it’s high time for Sharona Law.
Terrorist Fist Jab said,
June 13, 2008 at 19:32
I already took down one screeching blonde rightard harpy…
Hoosier X said,
June 13, 2008 at 19:35
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
That’s funny.
Terry C, Obama/Clinton 08 said,
June 13, 2008 at 19:35
Are these right wing racist jackasses ALL retarded???????
Some of the stuff they come up with is unbelievably stupid.
Terry C, Obama/Clinton 08 said,
June 13, 2008 at 19:36
“these Muslims–who don’t like American culture and want to shut it”
Mindboggling stupidity.
Jeopardude said,
June 13, 2008 at 19:38
Laura Ingraham’s radio show’s dead? Really? That’s awesome!
John Brim said,
June 13, 2008 at 19:49
Well, I’m usually passing by just about 11 o’clock
I never stop, I’m usually passing by, just around 11 o’clock
And if you let me cool you one time, you’ll be my regular stop
not even an mba said,
June 13, 2008 at 19:57
I think it’s high time for Sharona Law.
O NOES, It’s the Knack-atollah!
Such an Islamic band!
jnfr said,
June 13, 2008 at 19:59
I love our local ice cream truck. It roams around all summer playing the chorus to “There Once Was a Union Maid”.
Pirelli's Purse said,
June 13, 2008 at 20:02
Where I live it’s either “Do you ears hang low” or “Turkey in the Straw”. And I’m not sure that they aren’t the same. Just once I’d like to hear “Die Walküre” when I’m queuin’ up for some quiescently frozen muhfugin treats, dig.
El Cid said,
June 13, 2008 at 20:03
When Barack Hussein Obama X and his Soul Sistah Security Squad take power, these selected ice creams will be the only ones available, as only they meet Islamic dietary guidelines.
They will not be delivered by ice cream trucks, but will instead be sold on street corners and in selected mosques.
Get used to it.
Pirelli's Purse said,
June 13, 2008 at 20:06
I can has bean pie?
g said,
June 13, 2008 at 20:06
Peggy Noonan has been hitting the gin again.
Mr. McCain is the Old America, of course; Mr. Obama the New
for the life of me, I can’t figure out what she’s trying to say. Does this make any sense?
Old America: candidates for office wear ties. New America: Not if they’re women. Old America: There’s a place for formality, even the Beatles wore jackets!
I think she’s saying that Hillary would have been as popular as the Beatles if she’d worn a tie. Is she saying Obama doesn’t wear a tie, even though he pretty much always does?
Or is this just Pegster’s charming was of saying “don’t vote for the n******.”
Pirelli's Purse said,
June 13, 2008 at 20:08
Shorter Peggy:
“Remember when coloreds couldn’t walk on the sidewalks?”
SamFromUtah said,
June 13, 2008 at 20:11
I think she’s saying that Hillary would have been as popular as the Beatles if she’d worn a tie.
I think she’s saying that McCain is better than the Beatles. None if it matters, though, because the punks made sure there have been no good candidates since 1975.
Nim, ham hock of liberty said,
June 13, 2008 at 20:14
First off, bomb pops suck. It’s a big fucking popsicle.
a) GO TO HELL.
b) The second sentence contradicts the first.
t4toby said,
June 13, 2008 at 20:14
In the South Seattle/Burien area there is a Rasta Ice Cream Guy with a red, green, yellow and black ice cream jeep which is lowered on gold rims and all sorts of Jamaica-centric doo-dads hanging from the rearview.
The music? A hip-hop version of ‘Do Your Chains Hang Low’.
He is my ice cream truck hero. I bet if Little Debbie Snackcakes saw him she would fall straight over.
g said,
June 13, 2008 at 20:17
In the South Seattle/Burien area there is a Rasta Ice Cream Guy with a red, green, yellow and black ice cream jeep which is lowered on gold rims and all sorts of Jamaica-centric doo-dads hanging from the rearview.
Awesome! I’d pay you for a picture of that!
t4toby said,
June 13, 2008 at 20:17
That statement is a slap in the face to mentally impaired people.
And yes. Yes they are. It is a feature, not a flaw.
Green Eagle said,
June 13, 2008 at 20:18
People from Islamic countries drive around in ice cream trucks with angry bears in the back.
I know this because I saw it in a movie.
b.h. obama-x said,
June 13, 2008 at 20:18
sweet melted popsicle sticks –
LITTLE ROCK, Ark. – Mike Huckabee, a former Republican presidential hopeful, has been hired by Fox News Channel as a political commentator.
Jacob Singer said,
June 13, 2008 at 20:21
People who eat popsicles have daddy issues. Centered people like me eat Nutty Buddys.
cleek said,
June 13, 2008 at 20:21
I love our local ice cream truck. It roams around all summer playing the chorus to “There Once Was a Union Maid”.
our local truck plays La Cucaracha.
PeeJ said,
June 13, 2008 at 20:21
Peggy Noonan has teh hotz for the O-man. Dass whut I think.
Didja see he’s on the “best dressed” list? He does wear nice suits and wears them well.
bc said,
June 13, 2008 at 20:22
mikey, this is the third time i’ve checked this thread and i’m still cracking up over “Muslims used my credit card to buy Pool Toys!!”
EJ said,
June 13, 2008 at 20:22
One of the local ice cream trucks where I live plays the theme from The Godfather, for some bizarre reason.
I buy ice cream from him purely to support his hilarious choice of music. Oh, and Watermelon Jolly Rancher Sno-Cones blow Bomb Pops away.
John T said,
June 13, 2008 at 20:23
I think my neighborhood would be cooler if they legalized the sale of drugs — but with a catch: drug dealers, instead of lurking on corners wearing hooded jackets and acting all sketchy, would instead be obligated to drive around in ice cream trucks. The trucks’ sound systems would play Led Zeppelin or Snoop Dogg (or, I suppose, Velvet Underground, Rick James, or DJ Tiesto, depending on what they were selling).
not even an mba said,
June 13, 2008 at 20:23
That’s some Nyah-nyah-nyah-nyah-Nooners piece.
Ramble, ramble, ramble. Obama “chose for a key position a D.C. insider who got fat working the system”. Maybe I can run with…oh…um…I guess we should just stop there before I have to look at JiSM3’s staff.
Umm, let’s see. The press was really hard on JiSM3 for that absolutely lousy speech he delivered…oh…um…I guess I probably shouldn’t dwell too long on how the candidate of experience doesn’t know how to use a telepormpter.
Umm, hey let’s do an Old vs New comparison thingy! Everybody loves totally unrelated comparisons, and this way I can pick all sorts of stuff that’ll make the Old seem better than the New…oh…um…I guess that’s not exactly the message JiSM3 wants to get out. At 4 in 5 thinking we’re heading in the wrong direction, New’s gonna seem pretty attractive.
Uh, yeah, so everything I just said, please just ignore. Should be easy since I didn’t actually say anything at all. Not bad for a piece called Declarations.
pedestrian said,
June 13, 2008 at 20:24
Old America: candidates for office wear ties. New America: Not if they’re women.
So basically … New America: Women can run for office. That’s what happens when you give them the vote.
You know that if Hillary had worn a tie, Pegs would have just called her a big dyke.
SpotWeld said,
June 13, 2008 at 20:24
And the power of the stoopid is defeated with a single Google Search
Carnacki said,
June 13, 2008 at 20:24
That pisses me off that the mooslims took away the chocolate covered paydays. Those were awesome. I was opposed to the war, but now I know they did that, I’m all for it.
Brandi said,
June 13, 2008 at 20:27
I suspect ice cream trucks violate the local noise ordinances (which are pretty stiff– there’s a story about how a person with severe *snoring* broke it once), but we have our share of nice frozen treat carts.
The best one is run by a nice young Asian girl who should make wingers’ knees knock with fear as the popsicles are made of all-organic ingredients and include such unAmerican flavors as apricot lavender (obviously stating a pro-gay agenda!) and kaffir limeade (the very NAME is redolent with doom!).
pedestrian said,
June 13, 2008 at 20:32
our local truck plays La Cucaracha.
RECONQUISTA!!!
not even an mba said,
June 13, 2008 at 20:36
I suspect ice cream trucks violate the local noise ordinances
If y’all are interested in the Dearborn Heights Municipal Code of Ordinances, there’s and ordinances online option at the dhol.org link in the main post. It takes you here, where you can search for
Schlussel’s paranoid delusions“huckster noise”. The relevant section is 22-32t4toby said,
June 13, 2008 at 20:36
I, for one, would like to welcome our cockroach overlords.
sagra said,
June 13, 2008 at 20:41
chocolate covered Payday = Baby Ruth?
MzNicky said,
June 13, 2008 at 20:42
I think she’s saying that Hillary would have been as popular as the Beatles if she’d worn a tie
Yeah, but would she have been more popular than Jesus?
Righteous Bubba said,
June 13, 2008 at 20:44
Yeah, but would she have been more popular than Jesus?
It’s unlikely people would nail her to boards, so yes.
Teh F001 said,
June 13, 2008 at 20:45
Fuck all of you Bomb Pop haters. You fundamentally don’t get it.
A Bomb Pop is a great and beautiful dessert. But it requires an innocence of spirit to appreciate that all too many arty eaters either never had or lost a long time ago. It introduced flavors and colors into mainstream American culture that rarely get any attention at all and certainly not in the numbers that this icy treat got. Growing up in a strict vegetarian household it meant a helluva lot to me as a teenager to hear that repetetive verse from the theme from The Sting coming down the street on a hot afternoon.
FYI: its not a high-class, fancy-pants elitist dessert, you stupid fucks.
Carnacki said,
June 13, 2008 at 20:48
sagra, not enough peanuts in a Baby Ruth.
MzNicky said,
June 13, 2008 at 20:48
It’s unlikely people would nail her to boards, so yes.
All right sir, fair enough. Then would it have made her more famous than God?
MzNicky said,
June 13, 2008 at 20:49
Besides I’m not too sure about the non-crucifixion thing. Burning at the stake? More like it.
not even an mba said,
June 13, 2008 at 20:50
Little Miss Peggy:
Aside from the fact that the higher principles of McCain’s “personal honor” are to rat out your friends, note how the New is defined relative to the Old. Most of her Old/New comparisons are thus. That is to say, Pegsters understanding of the New is only in it’s not-Oldness. So based on that long and convoluted ramble, here’s my
Shorter Peggy Noonan: It’s all about me!!!!!
Righteous Bubba said,
June 13, 2008 at 20:51
Fuck all of you Bomb Pop haters.
Feel free to explain why your heroes sold out with the Bloo Bar. I say to you now: BLOO IS NOT MY FAVOURITE IMAGINARY FRIEND.
Fool4U said,
June 13, 2008 at 20:58
God there are a lot of insufferable people on this thread. Yeah, yeah, you’re all just so smugly better than it all. This is the Dippin’ Dots influence that destroyed the frozen dessert culture and the far out fucking magic that was ice cream from 1955-1987. Dippin’ Dotters are blind future-crazy spaceheads who — once the bomb poppers established some kind of vanilla/chocolate/strawberry alternative option in ice cream — overgeneralized and misapplied the whole progress concept and stupidly, moronically, decided that “fresh and innovative” meant kill ice cream altogether.
Well guess what? You pinheads succeeded! Congratulations, you pathetic losers! You think you’re so hip and so discriminating in your taste, but you know what? You got nothing. Your crappy Dippin Dots culture can’t hold a candle to what happened between 1955-1987. Your crappy ice cream preferences will soon be forgotten while people continue to wolf down frozen phallic treats for centuries. In fact, most of you dips have already given up on dots.
Am I angry? Yeah I’m angry. When someone attacks something you love it makes normal people angry. Do I have anger “issues”? No. What a lame accusation. You sound EXACTLY like the wingnuts attacking the netroots when you say that.
not even an mba said,
June 13, 2008 at 20:58
OT, but I found a comic strip that describes this place exactly.
PeeJ said,
June 13, 2008 at 20:59
No. There is NO blue food. No such thing, nope. Blueberries? They’re purple. Name ONE food that’s blue – go on, give it a try.
Bomb Pops suck gigantic putty balls.
QED
Milo Johnson said,
June 13, 2008 at 20:59
Wait a minute – there used to be CHOCOLATE COVERED PAYDAYS? Fuck it, nuke Mecca now!
Malaclypse said,
June 13, 2008 at 21:00
“Are these right wing racist jackasses ALL retarded?”
You were expecting intelligent right-wing racist jackasses?
not even an mba said,
June 13, 2008 at 21:02
Fool @ 20:58
Bravo. Magnifique. Excellenté.
atheist said,
June 13, 2008 at 21:05
Fool4U said,
June 13, 2008 at 20:58
Polite, sustained golf clap
Brandi said,
June 13, 2008 at 21:05
not even an mba: I should’ve said MY local noise ordinances, which, upon checking, show a limit as low as 50dB in residential areas 9am-7pm. (There are exceptions for power equipment, and apparently you have to obtain permission for loudspeakers on non-government/-law enforcement vehicles.)
El Cid said,
June 13, 2008 at 21:06
When finally the Reconquista is complete and Aztlan is established, your lackluster, lazy Great American Patriot Conservative bourgeois ice creams will be replaced by such authentic flavors as roast corn on the cob flavored ice cream.
Teh F001 said,
June 13, 2008 at 21:07
Feel free to explain why your heroes sold out with the Bloo Bar.
Yeah, sadly I lost it a long time ago after 2 or 3 decades worth of shitty Drumsticks, crappy Haagen Dazs bars and fancy Dove ice cream bars touted by confectionary morons like yourself as being better than the classic Bomb Pop.
God there are a lot of insufferable people on this thread. Yeah, yeah, you’re all just so smugly better than it all. This is the Klondike Bar influence that destroyed my childhood and the far out fucking magic that was the ice cream truck from 1965-1975.
People believe different things. They agree about some things and disagree about others. Please get over yourself and stop telling people that they aren’t allowed to disagree with your oh-so-enlightened position.
And don’t worry, brother, I enjoy the hell out of frozen desserts — probably much more than you.
J— said,
June 13, 2008 at 21:07
And all ice cream trucks will be required to have hydraulics.
PeeJ said,
June 13, 2008 at 21:08
Heh. I’ve made corn ice cream myself. It was very interesting.
t4toby said,
June 13, 2008 at 21:08
I’m in for the Choco Taco.
a concerned citizen said,
June 13, 2008 at 21:08
The “oh noes brown people” angle of this story is just ludicrous. Because the government allows the call to prayer and not the ice cream truck, somehow that is the Muslims’ fault. In other words, I got lucky last night so it’s my fault Debbie Schlussel isn’t getting any. Brilliant.
pedestrian, I can’t help but wish those mosques were called “Islamic House of Prayer” instead of “Islamic House of Wisdom”.
Brandi, I’m sure wingers would be fine with a kaffir lime popsicle, as they recall a more innocent time when limes knew their place.
In Taiwan, they don’t have ice cream trucks; garbage trucks play ice cream truck music. When you hear the garbage truck, you have to run down and throw your trash in the truck yourself, or it doesn’t get picked up.
t4toby said,
June 13, 2008 at 21:09
In Russia, trash empties you.
Teh F001 said,
June 13, 2008 at 21:10
Somebody stole my schtick right out from under me!
tigrismus said,
June 13, 2008 at 21:11
Though the fiendish Muslims have taken all the real chocolate coated Paydays, I think you can still find “chocolatey”-covered ones.
Also, I can make popsicles at home. If I’m shelling out cash money I want a frozen treat that would require 3 weeks and at least 80 ingredients to make from scratch. And 50 of them being artificial colors doesn’t count. Plus I don’t even think red lakes exist, much less that there are enough of them to be a #40.
t4toby said,
June 13, 2008 at 21:13
F001-
That’s how we roll.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
June 13, 2008 at 21:14
’sup.
What type of effete coastal Islamo-elitists are you? Ice Cream, Pay Days, Bomb Pops, what type of proletarian nonsense are you stuffing in your mouths. Real leftists eat gelato.
J— said,
June 13, 2008 at 21:16
Heladería Coromoto in Mérida, Venezuela. Over 800 different flavors as of this 2006 report. Surely they have something for everyone, including our pal Schlussel.
tigrismus said,
June 13, 2008 at 21:16
I lost it a long time ago after 2 or 3 decades worth of shitty Drumsticks
They’ve changed Drumsticks so that the cone is crunchy now. I miss those stale cardboardy cones more than you can imagine. MUUUUUUSLIMS!
Caveat said,
June 13, 2008 at 21:17
Hate to get serious but it’s strange that all the wingbags believe the bullshit about Muslims hating our western lifestyle.
In a recent international poll involving thousands and thousands of muslims in many countries, two startling points emerged:
1. They like our way of life in terms of our democracy and freedom – especially freedom of speech and equality among all citizens (ha ha, sure, well that’s the plan anyway).
2. The next thing they like best about us is our technology.
The people who conducted the survey were surprised by these two strong findings along with others.
I saw the discussion around this on our public affairs show, The Agenda, which runs weeknights at 8 ET on our public network in Ontario, TVO.org. I think you can catch the shows online as well after they’ve run. Worth checking out, they talk about lots of interesting stuff, one issue per show.
Now get me a moth*****kin ice cream, bitzez!!!!
t4toby said,
June 13, 2008 at 21:18
Oh, the stale cardboardy cone is still there.
They moved it to the Choco Taco.
Righteous Bubba said,
June 13, 2008 at 21:21
2. The next thing they like best about us is our technology.
Our ICE CREAM TECHNOLOGY. Think about THAT.
El Cid said,
June 13, 2008 at 21:21
The only form of “ice cream” which some of you might be allowed once the Hussein X administration begins implementing moral reclamation will be vegan fair trade organic. If you don’t like it, you are free to eat pure rock salt. But preferably you will learn to avoid any temptations whatsoever, since flavors such as sweetness or fruit contribute to lazy bourgeois values.
SamFromUtah said,
June 13, 2008 at 21:23
Real leftists eat gelato.
Mussolini ate gelato, which is central to my point.
sagra said,
June 13, 2008 at 21:25
acc, An Islamic House of Pancakes would be even better.
Arky H8r of VurdPress said,
June 13, 2008 at 21:25
Debbie’s stoopid burns so hot it melted my bomb pop AND the God damned ice cream truck.
MzNicky said,
June 13, 2008 at 21:28
I like Dreamsicles.
Blue Raven said,
June 13, 2008 at 21:28
Good Humour chocolate eclair bars. Carnation malted ice milk cups. Neapolitan ice cream sandwiches. Geez, nobody thinks of the fun forms of the chocolate around here.
Righteous Bubba said,
June 13, 2008 at 21:29
Geez, nobody thinks of the fun forms of the chocolate around here.
Muslims took my thoughts.
MzNicky said,
June 13, 2008 at 21:29
And Brown Cows. Do they still make Brown Cows?
g said,
June 13, 2008 at 21:30
Some of the all-time favorites here are tuna with real chunks of the fish, chili pepper, asparagus, and rose petal. Corn is big this season. Beet root and cream is selling well. But ham and cheese, for some reason, has been a bit of a failure.
TOONA IZE CREEM – DO NOT WANT!
tigrismus said,
June 13, 2008 at 21:30
acc, An Islamic House of Pancakes would be even better.
No, sir, that one doesn’t come with sausage, either…
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
June 13, 2008 at 21:30
Mussolini ate gelato, which is central to my point.
Be that as it may, I bet Stalin ate Drumsticks or Nutty Buddys or whatever. But gelato is so 1337, there’s a fricking chamber music group named after it. No offense meant to pedestrian, but your pedestrian tastes are dragging down the latté factor of the entire left. At least step up to organic sherbets.
g said,
June 13, 2008 at 21:31
I like Dreamsicles
My favorite ice cream truck treat.
Woodrowfan said,
June 13, 2008 at 21:32
One of the local trucks here in Northern VA plays “Dixie.” (GAG). I don’t recognize what the 2d truck plays…
sagra said,
June 13, 2008 at 21:32
It all comes with goat sausage.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
June 13, 2008 at 21:32
Not to mean that pedestrian’s tastes are pedestrian. The previous your is meant to encompass all you base populist eaters of common frozen desserts and not any individual specifically.
tigrismus said,
June 13, 2008 at 21:33
“How about the Rimmy Timmy Fruity Dhimmie?”
NO.
MLK Jr. said,
June 13, 2008 at 21:33
Mmmmmm.
MzNicky said,
June 13, 2008 at 21:33
Our ice-cream truck used to play “Beautiful Dreamer.”
The theme from the Godfather is still cracking me up.
Oregon Guy said,
June 13, 2008 at 21:34
I just want to know why we’re 150+ comments in and not a single person has referenced:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nice_Dreams
or
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Justified_and_Ancient
Righteous Bubba said,
June 13, 2008 at 21:34
Far be it from pedestrian to develop pogostickian tastes.
g said,
June 13, 2008 at 21:35
At least step up to organic sherbets
“Sorbet,” please. Geez. Get with the program.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
June 13, 2008 at 21:35
Holy crap! via Atrios.
dbati said,
June 13, 2008 at 21:36
I’ll take Strawberry Shortcake for the win, Bob.
From the Website:
Pure refreshment! An artificially flavored strawberry center surrounded by artificially flavored vanilla ice cream and a crunchy cake coating.
Nothing says refreshment like artificial flavors!
Bomb Pops rulez!!!!!!1!1!!!!12
Oregon Guy said,
June 13, 2008 at 21:37
Or for that matter:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glasgow_Ice_Cream_Wars
MzNicky said,
June 13, 2008 at 21:38
Oregon Guy: We were waiting for you.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
June 13, 2008 at 21:40
Man, I was just ragging on the guy yesterday. Feels kinda weird, a real WTF moment. Condolences to his family, he obviously was very dedicated to family.
Oregon Guy said,
June 13, 2008 at 21:40
See, the problem is, I’m just not that good at bringing teh funneh.
I’ve tried… and not succeeded.
So I just point out teh *potential funneh* and hope for the best.
tesh said,
June 13, 2008 at 21:42
My fondest memories are of purchasing White ice cream from the White ice cream man.
For the last twenty some years, the ice cream man has been the ice cream HOMBRE.
With their la raza reconquista crap theme spewing from cheap speakers. As if to ANNOUNCE the take-over of MY COUNTRY.
No shame at all.
Now, what is all this shit about Muslims? They don’t even HAVE ice cream. Too hot over there. And it’s against the Koran.
Stay Focussed.
protected static said,
June 13, 2008 at 21:43
Bzzt. Wrong answer, IslamoHomoCommie Chavez lover. /wingnut
les said,
June 13, 2008 at 21:43
PeeJ, finally someone who gets it. Blue food is Just Wrong.
Fool4U said,
June 13, 2008 at 21:44
No offense meant to pedestrian, but your pedestrian tastes are dragging down the latté factor of the entire left. At least step up to organic sherbets.
Yeah, you all call yourself liberals, but nothing scares you more than the thought of your daughter (or son!) sucking on a big chocolate popsicle. Fuck all y’all bitchez, you can suck on my lilly white jawbreakers.
MzNicky said,
June 13, 2008 at 21:45
Oregon Guy: We all have our role to play in this great big crazy holiday we call life.
MzNicky said,
June 13, 2008 at 21:46
I like blue-corn tortilla chips. Is that so wrong?
Brandi said,
June 13, 2008 at 21:46
Anybody remember White Lemon Bomb Pops, or is it just me?
No funny stripes, just sweet lemonade flavor.
g said,
June 13, 2008 at 21:47
Now, what is all this shit about Muslims? They don’t even HAVE ice cream. Too hot over there. And it’s against the Koran.
Sadly, No, as I posted above, the Iranian ice cream cartel is powerful.
And, whoa! about Russert. NYTimes has the breaking news, but no story yet. WTF?
pedestrial said,
June 13, 2008 at 21:48
ermm… shut up, Fool, I can speak for myself!
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
June 13, 2008 at 21:48
Okay, enough with being maudlin.
PeeJ, finally someone who gets it. Blue food is Just Wrong
Are you telling me that this doesn’t count as food? Because I might have to change my diet.
pedestrian said,
June 13, 2008 at 21:48
GAHH!!!
Mr T said,
June 13, 2008 at 21:51
Pity da Fool…
Hoosier X said,
June 13, 2008 at 21:53
Blue Moon ice cream is blue.
So there.
You got PWNED, H8ers!
Fozzetti said,
June 13, 2008 at 21:57
My !*&^%$#! Home Owners Assn. sent me TWO letters about mowing my lawn and yanking weeds (they were dead wild-flowers). Grrrr! Was I angry!( But I do recall signing a contract agreeing).
They must be Muslems!
Some Guy said,
June 13, 2008 at 21:57
I was going to write a long, well-thought out rebuttal to the stupid.
But then my browser crashed halfway through.
So I’ll just stick with, “Fuck you, you stupid whore.”
t4toby said,
June 13, 2008 at 21:57
Also purple.
Simba B said,
June 13, 2008 at 21:58
PeeJ, finally someone who gets it. Blue food is Just Wrong
My grandmother has been saying this for years. My grandmother is in her mid-seventies.
That’s got to be the first time I’ve seen something on this site that my grandma would agree with. :P
t4toby said,
June 13, 2008 at 21:58
Tim russert mysteriously collapses and dies? How much do you want to bet that he was about to break some huge story? </tinfoil>
a different brad said,
June 13, 2008 at 21:59
I guess Debbie doesn’t live where there are ice cream trucks anymore. NYC started the noise pollution ban, or at least was an early adopter, and it’s a beautiful, wonderful thing.
Around here, at least, ice cream trucks would park and sit on a corner in front of a project for half an hour plus, and leave that 15 second loop playing the whole time.
Holy fuck was that annoying.
As was mentioned, Mayor Mike did something right with that ban.
Fozzetti said,
June 13, 2008 at 22:01
The people driving the trucks tend to be minoriy –dark skinned!– people. Immagrants who can’t cook (thereby starting a restaurant). Sounds more like discrimination against the drivers, rather than the bell.
Arky H8r of VurdPress said,
June 13, 2008 at 22:02
My mom drove for Good Humor one summer and was either given or [ahem] “acquired” a few boxes every week. Every kid on the block hated my guts.
But my guts were always filled with ice cream so I didn’t care.
Jacob Singer said,
June 13, 2008 at 22:02
“Around here, at least, ice cream trucks would park and sit on a corner in front of a project for half an hour plus, and leave that 15 second loop playing the whole time.”
I’ve never understood how the drivers themselves could handle those malignant melodies all day long.
Oh, and it’s a shame about Russert.
Righteous Bubba said,
June 13, 2008 at 22:03
NYC started the noise pollution ban
Yeah, well, that’s why Jesse called NYC Hamidtown.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
June 13, 2008 at 22:03
Nope. Booze and Ice Cream isn’t making it feel less weird. I’ve already used up the nice thing I had to say about him. Well, at least it was quick and presumably not painful. And he died doing what he loved, his show.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
June 13, 2008 at 22:04
Russert link.
Lawnguylander said,
June 13, 2008 at 22:04
The disappearance of Necco Wafers from our nation’s candy stores and newsstands is a giant step towards complete dhimmification. Allow me to explain. Such powerful tasty symbols of the Holy Eucharist in the hands of our youth and other sugar addicts is sheer effrontery to your islamosecularhomocommiefascist cadre. While America slept, they quietly had them banned.
Of course, when they were on the market they were a disgraceful mockery of the sacrament so they had to go. Goddamn sacrilegious multicolored hippie ass communion wafers is what they were. The angriest I ever made a nun in Catholic school was in 2nd grade by ritualistically distributing communion with Neccos to my classmates at recess. She was all like, what you think you’re the Messiah? We already got one but the concept of eternal damnation, you can haz detailed explanation now.
Gary Ruppert said,
June 13, 2008 at 22:06
The fact is, RUssert probably had some dirt on Obama.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
June 13, 2008 at 22:07
The disappearance of Necco Wafers
Another Westlake fan?
TheFoole said,
June 13, 2008 at 22:08
Well, les and PeeJay, I’d like to make you think that maybe there is a position — or more likely a range of positions — on whether there are foods that are “blue”. Certainly there are many that are purple. Foods, that is, not positions. Although that may be so as well. I’m a pedantic freak.
BTW: the relativist response concerning tortilla chips I fully expect from you self-destructs in the face of extra-hot salsa or guacamole. That’s a rather painful image to create but that’s what I do, having a graduate degree and all. You can’t have it both ways and say that you are right about there being no true blue food, and that there is no such thing as being right about being right about blue food. I mean, what about red tortilla chips? Those strange orangey ones? Are those not also food colors not found in nature, and yet are they not also relativistically speaking meta-foods? I have no idea what I’m talking about.
Get over myself? I’m not touting myself as one of the great gourmands I defend so I don’t really see what you’re getting at other than a lame ad hominem. I heard that somewhere on the internet, that adhominem thing.
People believe different things. They agree about some things and disagree about others. This is a self-evident tautology, not to be reundant, that I am using to sound even more like a pompous ass than I already do. Please get over yourself, or selves, as the case may be, and stop telling people that they aren’t allowed to disagree with your oh-so-enlightened position.
And don’t worry, brother, or brothers, if that be your true gender orientation or persuasion, for I enjoy the hell out of chips — probably much more than you. Not that I enjoy you at all. I could beat you up 95 percent of the time. How much do you press, anyway?
NotTheFoole said,
June 13, 2008 at 22:09
By the way, SomeGuy, I’ve been meaning to ask you: Hate women much?
pedestrian said,
June 13, 2008 at 22:10
Did they check for polonium 210?
Travis Disaster said,
June 13, 2008 at 22:11
class never takes a holiday
Travis Disaster said,
June 13, 2008 at 22:12
oh sorry I forgot LGF did that
http://littlegreenfootballs.com/showc/71/5437168
Some Guy said,
June 13, 2008 at 22:24
Ehhhh. Like I said, initial post was thoughtful and full of reality-based facts. But then browser crash, so I thought I’d shorten it rather then retype the whole thing.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
June 13, 2008 at 22:25
O NOES!
Muslims made Some Guy’s browser crash!
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
June 13, 2008 at 22:27
Muslims made the Fool make me get over myself!
And since we’ve got fake Fool all over the thread, there’s only one correct response which is, of course,
Cockburn! Cockburn! Cockburn! Cockburn! Cockburn! PENIS Cockburn! Cockburn! Cockburn! Cockburn! Cockburn!
protected static said,
June 13, 2008 at 22:27
You could have dropped ‘pedantic’ and stopped with that sentence. No, really. We wouldn’t have minded; it would have given your comment a level of honesty and depth it currently lacks.
g said,
June 13, 2008 at 22:31
We need to be vigilant lest the jihadis use their confectionary wiles to disguise themselves and blend in with regular Americans.
NobodySpecial said,
June 13, 2008 at 22:36
Um, yeah.
Paydays are still around, so are Necco wafers. But then again, the store I see them at is owned by a guy from Ramallah, so you be the judge.
Dan Someone said,
June 13, 2008 at 22:37
OT, but this made me laugh. And think of how far back the roots of the wingnutosphere really go….
Argostarch said,
June 13, 2008 at 22:38
PeeJ – the food of the new world: the potato (blue).
http://blogs.menupages.com/chicago/blue%20potato.jpg
PeeJ said,
June 13, 2008 at 22:38
The facts are what they are as is selfly evidential. Semantically speaking, so to speak, the referential transparency of the term “food” could only be disused by a semidiotic such as your own self.
pfpfptpttfpfptt
fadgeophile said,
June 13, 2008 at 22:40
Also purple.
zeppo said,
June 13, 2008 at 22:42
I’m sorry I missed this thread as it was developing. This is one of the funniest things I have read. I obviously wouldn’t have gotten a lot of work done today if I had checked in on this.
Hey, Da Fool parodies are well done, no matter the source.
Gotta go look at the Russert links.
PeeJ said,
June 13, 2008 at 22:42
Nope. It’s
clearlytransparentlyobviously purple. And not in a nice lavendersih way either; it’s an angry purple. I’m afraid of that thing – it’s scary!Terrorist Fist Jab said,
June 13, 2008 at 22:42
Debbie Schlussel definitely did not grow up in Northeast Philly, where the goddamn things went by 24-7 in the summer.
Doo-dee-doo-dee-loo-doo-dee-doo…AAGH!
I am supposing that there were other items for sale when they came by at 2 am.
Netherlands 4-1 France. Yikes. The Dutch look unstoppable.
W. Kiernan said,
June 13, 2008 at 22:42
Man, I love Bomb Pops. So icy and yummy! Best of all, they’re in the colors of the French flag, too.
fadgeophile said,
June 13, 2008 at 22:43
Something that is actually blue, natural, and edible.
tigrismus said,
June 13, 2008 at 22:44
I know a guy who woke up with a blue potato raping him, and a blue corn chip was just standing in the corner and laughing.
fadgeophile said,
June 13, 2008 at 22:45
Dammit again!
Those aren’t nastutiums, those are tobacco flowers.
Still cannot find something that is actually blue, natural and edible
MzNicky said,
June 13, 2008 at 22:45
Yeah, I think we’re reaching meta proportions now.
fadgeophile said,
June 13, 2008 at 22:47
fadgeophile said,
June 13, 2008 at 22:49
Nope. Blue is an appetite suppressant. No actually blue food in nature, as far as the t00bz are concerned.
Teh F001 said,
June 13, 2008 at 22:49
Hey, fuck you blue food haters! You and your smug, superior green, red, orange and white tastes can…
aw, the hell with it.
pedestrian said,
June 13, 2008 at 22:49
Borage is edible.
HAH!
fadgeophile said,
June 13, 2008 at 22:50
Nice, peddy. I was looking for edible flowers, but couldn’t find any.
g said,
June 13, 2008 at 22:51
Those aren’t nastutiums, those are tobacco flowers.
Actually, the little yellow flowers in your photo are nasturtiums. They are edible. The blue ones are larkspur, annual delphiniums. Not so sure about them being edible.[going off to google].
g said,
June 13, 2008 at 22:53
Larkspur are toxic. Source
g said,
June 13, 2008 at 22:54
Borage, on the other hand, are quite edible and lovely in a salad.
fadgeophile said,
June 13, 2008 at 22:54
I disagree, g.
The flower is not in a cluster like delphinium.
Wrong foliage as well.
MzNicky said,
June 13, 2008 at 22:54
Hey! Anyone ever heard of blueberries?
MzNicky said,
June 13, 2008 at 22:56
And how about blue grapes? I mean, duh already.
g said,
June 13, 2008 at 22:58
The delphiniums you see in big clusters are perennials. The Larkspur is an annual from the same genus. I’ve grown them both.
Okay, don’t take my word for it. But just don’t eat ‘em.
zeppo said,
June 13, 2008 at 22:59
Borage is edible, huh? Looks pretty scary, like a Martian starfish or something.
I remembering seeing or hearing a Bill Cosby routine from many years ago, asking that same question, “Why isn’t there any blue food?” I don’t remember any funny lines. I think “Why is there air?” was undoubtable the funnier of Cosby’s rhetorical question routines. “To fill up volleyballs with!” Well, it was funny to a 9 year old back in the 60’s.
Trilateral Chairman said,
June 13, 2008 at 22:59
* Blueberries are purplish on the inside, but unmistakably blue on the outside, especially if you pick them wild and fresh.
* Blue corn exists too.
Some variants of broccoli are blue when picked, but I don’t have time to find a photo right now.
Dan Someone said,
June 13, 2008 at 23:00
What about blue pork? And blue chicken? huh? What about them???
ortho_bob said,
June 13, 2008 at 23:01
When will she take on the border-busting terror of the pickle-flavored paleta?
g said,
June 13, 2008 at 23:03
Larkspur
Aw, crap. The Islamofascist botanists changed the damn genus name.
They’re still larkspurs, though, and don’t eat ‘em.
Trilateral Chairman said,
June 13, 2008 at 23:03
I lied about the broccoli photo.
pedestrian said,
June 13, 2008 at 23:03
Borage is edible, huh? Looks pretty scary, like a Martian starfish or something.
Which, I believe, is central to toby’s point.
fadgeophile said,
June 13, 2008 at 23:04
Mostly variations on purple.
fadgeophile said,
June 13, 2008 at 23:06
I believe you, g. I have never grown larkspur or blue nicotiana, so my knowledge is quite limited.
g said,
June 13, 2008 at 23:09
Better not let the swarthy ones know about the toxic larkspurs. Next thing you know they’ll be seeding the vacant lots of Dearborn Heights.
a different brad said,
June 13, 2008 at 23:09
zeppo, it was George Carlin, not Cosby.
GoatBoy said,
June 13, 2008 at 23:14
For the record, Pay Day was never chocolate covered. It was enrobed in a luscious coating of choclaty. I don’t what choclaty is but I know what it’s not. And that’s fucking chocolate!
zeppo said,
June 13, 2008 at 23:15
ADBrad, yep, you are right. Carlin it was.
Dammit. I can’t even post a simple stupid little post on a stupid little blog about stupid people WITHOUT BEING TOLD I AM WRONG!! EVERYONE IS ALWAYS ON MY CASE, TELLING ME I AM WRONG ABOUT THIS OR WRONG ABOUT THAT!! IT’S NOT MY FAULT I CAN’T REMEMBER ANYTHING! THE WORLD SUCKS!! I HATE MYSELF!! AAAAGGGGGHHHHH!!!!
mikey said,
June 13, 2008 at 23:16
The difference between blue and purple is entirely subjective.
Aren’t you glad there aren’t any blue Brussels Sprouts?
mikey
Caveat said,
June 13, 2008 at 23:17
Edible Blue: Blueberries (wild ones are blue on the outside, green on the inside and turn purple when cooked because red = hot), potatoes, pansies, violets, corn, concord grapes.
I’m sure there are more things.
g said,
June 13, 2008 at 23:17
zeppo, it was George Carlin, not Cosby.
quite a difference
g said,
June 13, 2008 at 23:19
Aren’t you glad there aren’t any blue Brussels Sprouts?
Sadly….
Purple Brussel sprouts
Caveat said,
June 13, 2008 at 23:19
“…EVERYONE IS ALWAYS ON MY CASE…”
Desirez-vous du fromage bleu avec votre vin?
Righteous Bubba said,
June 13, 2008 at 23:21
I can’t even post a simple stupid little post on a stupid little blog about stupid people WITHOUT BEING TOLD I AM WRONG!!
Debbie?
Dan Someone said,
June 13, 2008 at 23:22
Also OT, but of interest: Tim Russert dies of a heart attack at age 58
SamFromUtah said,
June 13, 2008 at 23:22
it was George Carlin, not Cosby.
It was, and IIRC he said the only blue food that might exist would be some kind of badass Jell-O.
PeeJ said,
June 13, 2008 at 23:23
And that’s fucking chocolate!
Fucking chocolate sounds great! How do you, y’know, use it?
MajorKong said,
June 13, 2008 at 23:23
Debbie is attractive – in an insane wingnut sort of way.
zeppo said,
June 13, 2008 at 23:23
Ah, no. No wine. Thanks. A couple of Percodan might be in order, though.
Incontinentia Buttocks said,
June 13, 2008 at 23:27
you see we see
you must have the key so
eat your… Popsickle
Righteous Bubba said,
June 13, 2008 at 23:30
Debbie is attractive to flies.
Christopher said,
June 13, 2008 at 23:33
I… just… Are we sure Debbie isn’t a Jesus’ General style parody?
stringonastick said,
June 13, 2008 at 23:34
I have this mental tic where I can identify any instrumental song (usually jazz) as long as it had lyrics at one time; sometimes this is an obnoxious skill, like when the ice cream truck comes by playing “playmate, come out and play with me”. The goddamn words just keep running, running, running through my head until he finally drives away, and then he shows up again the next street over and it all starts again. ARGH.
Lawnguylander said,
June 13, 2008 at 23:38
Fucking chocolate sounds great! How do you, y’know, use it?
The people who make Super Dickmanns seem to recommend taking them orally. I bet they’d go great with Fuckbums.
Jacob Singer said,
June 13, 2008 at 23:39
Flowers may be “edible”, but they ain’t food in my book, ya damn pansy-munchin’ elitists.
PeeJ said,
June 13, 2008 at 23:45
Suck on these popsicles.
PeeJ said,
June 13, 2008 at 23:47
Let me correct your punctuation. We’re pansy, munchin elitists.
Candy said,
June 13, 2008 at 23:52
I wonder what the Debster would think about Des Moines, IA. Ice cream trucks have been against the law here since the late 60s/early 70s because some excited kid ran out into the street and got killed by a car when he heard the ice cream truck.
They tried to get the ordinance overturned but the kid’s dad fought it tooth and nail and as far as I know we still can’t haz ice cream trucks in Des Moines.
When I lived in Kent WA we had an ice cream truck driven by a Sikh that went through our apartment complex what seemed like 20 times a day, playing music that sounded like the scary calliope music from the movie “It”. Gad I hated that sound.
All this would be central to Debbie’s point.
Oregon Guy said,
June 13, 2008 at 23:53
Poi, anyone?
http://www.poico.com/artman/publish/article_16.php
ITS PURPLE!
Oregon Guy said,
June 13, 2008 at 23:53
Candy-
Aren’t you supposed to be underwater?
Righteous Bubba said,
June 13, 2008 at 23:56
We’re pansy, munchin elitists.
WTF? Do you not see my woman licking my puma-leather boots clean as I stab the bartender with a meteor-steel scimitar for cleaning my shot-glass with too much water?
Candy said,
June 13, 2008 at 23:57
Not in my neighborhood, Oregon Guy, but I’ve been stuck in traffic twice today thanks to the downtown evacuation and a lake that had formed over a route home I tried to take earlier.
I’ve got beer and I ain’t goin’ noplace tonight.
Oregon Guy said,
June 13, 2008 at 23:58
Well – I’m glad you’re got the essentials.
Candy said,
June 13, 2008 at 23:59
Yep. We Heartlanders like to plan ahead.
I don’t have bomb pops, though. An oversight.
tigrismus said,
June 14, 2008 at 0:01
If violets were blue they’d be called bluets. If bluets weren’t already called that.
fadgeophile said,
June 14, 2008 at 0:03
You can just much on some blue flowers to get you through…
Oregon Guy said,
June 14, 2008 at 0:03
Want some poi to go with your beer(s)?
a different brad said,
June 14, 2008 at 0:05
It’s physically impossible to be drunk enough to find Debbie Schussel attractive. You’d pass out at least 2 full kegs beforehand.
fadgeophile said,
June 14, 2008 at 0:06
I disagree. But then I’m a cad when I’m loaded. Ask the Portlanders.
PeeJ said,
June 14, 2008 at 0:06
Do you not see my woman licking my puma-leather boots clean as I stab the bartender with a meteor-steel scimitar for cleaning my shot-glass with too much water?
Puma leather boots? That’s teh ghey!
fadgeophile said,
June 14, 2008 at 0:08
I’ve always had a weakness (after a several beers) for kinda slutty looking ladies with bad makeup. Part of my self-loathing nature, I suppose.
And little debbie fits the description to a T.
Righteous Bubba said,
June 14, 2008 at 0:08
Puma leather boots? That’s teh ghey!
Curse you muslims! Putting teh ghey in my boots!
Djur said,
June 14, 2008 at 0:15
Wait, t4, all I remember you doing whilst loaded is going and conspiring with Gavin to purchase an entire serving platter of beers and shots.
Doctor Missus Marita said,
June 14, 2008 at 0:17
Oh, I remember some other things t4 did…
fadgeophile said,
June 14, 2008 at 0:18
I’m glad you guys remember something. All I remember was some great people and an $80 charge.
Actually, I do remember thinking the hangars were secret Klingon messages, and I’m not even into Star Trek.
Djur said,
June 14, 2008 at 0:21
Hey, drug and alcohol-induced delerium isn’t exactly caddishness.
I remember being absolutely incapable of sinking a single ball in pool because we were playing on a snooker table or something, and some sinister-looking young men chortling at us.
PeeJ said,
June 14, 2008 at 0:22
I’m with the missus. My memory is clear even though I had my full share of the booze.
t4, do you really want to know what you did? heh heh heh
Doctor Missus Marita said,
June 14, 2008 at 0:22
Toby, sometimes a coat rack is just a coat rack.
Gary Ruppert said,
June 14, 2008 at 0:50
The fact is, I’m completely behschmunkenfongled.
Sammy said,
June 14, 2008 at 0:53
bag of bomb-cocks
BAND NAME.
bago said,
June 14, 2008 at 0:58
ANGRY PURPLE POTATOES are playing at the next angry party.
Smut Clyde said,
June 14, 2008 at 1:00
a Mooslim wielding a scimitar lurks behind every potted plant.
Poisoning it, in the case of Mikey’s ficus.
MzNicky said,
June 14, 2008 at 1:00
zeppo: I really appreciated Cosby’s parenthood stuff. Especially the routines he did about his kids — so funny.
MzNicky said,
June 14, 2008 at 1:01
And besides, what about bleu cheese? It’s kind of blue.
g said,
June 14, 2008 at 1:05
Yes, but its french
Smut Clyde said,
June 14, 2008 at 1:08
You can just much on some blue flowers to get you through…
I saw Substance D growing. I saw death rising from the earth, from the ground itself, in one blue field, in stubbled color.
MzNicky said,
June 14, 2008 at 1:09
Aren’t you glad there aren’t any blue Brussels Sprouts?
Totally.
MzNicky said,
June 14, 2008 at 1:10
g: My understanding is that purple does not equal blue.
By the way, that photo looks like a bag of purple dicks.
MzNicky said,
June 14, 2008 at 1:12
Are we sure Debbie isn’t a Jesus’ General style parody?
Maybe, back in the day.
MzNicky said,
June 14, 2008 at 1:14
Fucking chocolate sounds great! How do you, y’know, use it?
PeeJ: I could tell you, but it would be wrong.
What?
MzNicky said,
June 14, 2008 at 1:20
I’m glad you guys remember something. All I remember was some great people and an $80 charge.
Quit making those of us in the Heartland* jealous we weren’t there.
_________________
*Okay, so what I really mean is the Bible Belt.
ifthethunderdontgetya™²³®© said,
June 14, 2008 at 1:21
g said,
June 13, 2008 at 23:19
Aren’t you glad there aren’t any blue Brussels Sprouts?
Sadly….
Purple Brussel sprouts
Yay! I’m home from teh Borg just in time.
P.S. Purple broccoli.
MzNicky said,
June 14, 2008 at 1:23
Playing catch-up.
These last few threads have been ridiculously funny. Maybe it’s cuz I have to be at a real job during the day most of the time now and haven’t really had much to do lately and wow have I missed this place.
MileHi Hawkeye said,
June 14, 2008 at 1:27
“t4, do you really want to know what you did? heh heh heh”
Screw t4, out with it PeeJ! And are toothbrushes involved in any way?
MileHi Hawkeye said,
June 14, 2008 at 1:33
Candy–
I can’t tell you the number of idiots that have come up to me today to tell me that all of Iowa is underwater. Oh noes, it’s one big lake!!111!
Cedar Rapids is fucked though. Of course, it kind of already was.
MzNicky said,
June 14, 2008 at 1:37
Candy: Glad you’re ok girl.
OneMan said,
June 14, 2008 at 1:38
…are toothbrushes involved in any way?
Excuse me while I go gouge out my mind’s eye.
Lesley said,
June 14, 2008 at 1:41
M00slims have also infiltrated Colin Powell’s head because he’s in Canada telling Canadians he’s going to vote for Obama and that George Bush is a criminal.
Bwahaha. I guess the Schlusselweiner never saw Gary Larson’s ice cream truck cartoons, wherein ice cream trucks are made to look as evil as John Wayne Gacy’s clowns.
MileHi Hawkeye said,
June 14, 2008 at 1:45
Sorry about your mind’s eye, OneMan. I just think it is kind of funny that PeeJ’s joke about toothbrush related photos apparently scared LostCameraGuy so bad that he hasn’t been heard from since.
I can’t help that I’m odd. Really.
Lesley said,
June 14, 2008 at 1:45
Personally, as a child o’ the 60s I prefered the diabolical french fry truck to the ice cream truck. It didn’t have the circus music, which I hated and you got crisp home made fries wrapped in newspaper. Gravy and vinegar extra. Delish!
g said,
June 14, 2008 at 1:46
By the way, that photo looks like a bag of purple dicks.
Well, they get really ugly blue if you cook them without using any acid. Acid makes them turn that kind of lovely red-violet, but if you don’t do that, they get sort of navy blue. Very unappetising. That is, for brussels sprouts. Unless that’s redundant.
g said,
June 14, 2008 at 1:47
Cedar Rapids is fucked though. Of course, it kind of already was.
I did see a photo of Des Moines and what looked like the Hotel Savery with water up to its doorsill. (Or am I remembering another hotel in another city?)
Lesley said,
June 14, 2008 at 1:50
behschmunkenfongled
this word has me in stitches.
Rufus said,
June 14, 2008 at 1:52
I was surprised to see zero mentions of Big Sticks in this thread, so I will mention them. Ahem:
Big Stick!
Big Stick!
Big Stick!
Way better than bomb pops, if you ask me.
And … you don’t.
Simba B said,
June 14, 2008 at 1:55
Debs is a big prick….
PocketWatch Romances » I Never Liked Bomb-Pops. said,
June 14, 2008 at 1:56
[...] is any of this important? Well, because crazy Debbie Schlussel thinks that enforcing noise ordinances is yet another sign of the encroaching Dhimmi-Sharia something something Muslims Are BAAAAAAD! AND [...]
OneMan said,
June 14, 2008 at 1:57
I just think it is kind of funny that PeeJ’s joke about toothbrush related photos….
Oh me too. I just don’t want to think too much about it.
Djur said,
June 14, 2008 at 2:00
You know, every time you call this lunatic “Debs”, old Eugene Victor’s bones tremble a little.
Candy said,
June 14, 2008 at 2:01
Thanks MzNicky, MileHi. It looks like downtown Des Moines is gonna dodge the bullet. The Des Moines River seems to be going down by tiny degrees. It looks like all the people who opted to stay in their riverside condos are going to luck out.
Yeah, Cedar Rapids . . . I was just watching the aerial photos and jeebus, what a mess! So sorry for those poor people.
Candy said,
June 14, 2008 at 2:03
g, I think the Savery is fine. Looks like the river’s gonna crest a mite lower than they thought. The Civic Center which I recall you remembered has cancelled shows tonight, erring on the side of caution.
Lesley said,
June 14, 2008 at 2:07
Debbie Schlussel dancing with shorter hair
MileHi Hawkeye said,
June 14, 2008 at 2:13
And no baseball tonight at Principal Park. The levees still are pretty stressed, so hope those hold for you guys.
Yep, sounds like their going to be underwater for 10 more days and no electricity or wells in the City of Five Smells. They’ve called off school in Iowa City until at least the 22nd.
Can’t wait for those skyrocking food prices.
Candy said,
June 14, 2008 at 2:14
OT, but I haven’t noticed anyone commenting on it, although I’m sure most of you have heard: Tim Russert Dead at 58.
MzNicky said,
June 14, 2008 at 2:14
new thread please! I’m too worn out to do another Fool parody.
Oh.
MzNicky said,
June 14, 2008 at 2:15
Candy: Yeah. Bummer. He was the same age as my spousal unit. On the other hand, he was the PumpkinBobbleHead.
Candy said,
June 14, 2008 at 2:16
Yep, that big corn crop that looked like a bin buster is now mostly underwater. This will not be good. It’s an excellent time to become a vegetarian and drive an electric car.
10,000 homeless in Cedar Rapids. Where the hell will they all go? FEMA will probably bring in the Toxic Trailers soon.
Candy said,
June 14, 2008 at 2:18
MzNicky, I’m getting old enough now that when someone that young dies it kinda freaks me out. My mom died at 57. I now really realize how young that is.
MileHi Hawkeye said,
June 14, 2008 at 2:19
“OT” We have a T? Man, I’ve got to pay attention.
I blame the drugs–or perhaps they thought of purple brussel sprouts.
Candy said,
June 14, 2008 at 2:23
I blame the Hamm’s I’m drinking.
MileHi Hawkeye said,
June 14, 2008 at 2:29
Hamm’s, eh? Now that’s living!
I heard Skelator was inspecting the Boy Scout Camp (very sad, btw), so I’m sure they’re up to some kind of evil. Probably involving private, heavily armed, security forces.
But, who will win the great political pander race? Obama or McBBQ? I sure hope the D’s can use this to their advantage (something good might as well come of it). Obama filling sand bags would be a good photo op. Somehow, I can’t imagine JISM3 being able to.
Smut Clyde said,
June 14, 2008 at 2:30
Was anyone else disappointed and disillusioned when they discovered that Mr Whippy vans only sold ice-cream?
Candy said,
June 14, 2008 at 2:34
I haven’t seen either one of them pandering so far. CBS played a clip of each of them
fellatinghonoring the memory of Tim, though.WereBear said,
June 14, 2008 at 2:35
I would expect someone named Mr Whippy to sell something else entirely.
» Comment on Popsicle Woes by Terry C, Obama/Clinton 08 said,
June 14, 2008 at 2:36
[...] can read the rest of this blog post by going to the original source, here [...]
Candy said,
June 14, 2008 at 2:38
Mr. Whippy would be a fine name for a sex toy shop – or a band.
Live Saturday at Rckcndy: Mr. Whippy with opening acts Popsicle Woes, Bomb Pops.
commie atheist said,
June 14, 2008 at 2:38
OK. It’s Friday night, I’m home form work, I’ve started drinking and I’m ready to go. Who wants a piece of me?
commie atheist said,
June 14, 2008 at 2:41
I can beat up at least 95% of you. Easy.
commie atheist said,
June 14, 2008 at 2:42
And, WordPress, I’ve been rejected by far worse than you. OR do I mean better? I forget.
J— said,
June 14, 2008 at 2:42
Until today, when I put myself to googling for images, I had always assumed Mr. Whippy was something the Beatles had made up for the movie.
As my sister’s high-school math geometry teacher used to say, when you assume, you make an ass out of u and me.
commie atheist said,
June 14, 2008 at 2:43
By the way, is it mean of me to say that I won’t miss Tim Russert?
Righteous Bubba said,
June 14, 2008 at 2:45
I can beat up at least 95% of you.
It’s that 5% of me that gives me the edge.
MileHi Hawkeye said,
June 14, 2008 at 2:45
“Who wants a piece of me?”
Uhm, Debbie, the islamofacsists, Timmy, and oddly enough, Bomb Pops.
Oh, and blue food.
ifthethunderdontgetya™²³®© said,
June 14, 2008 at 2:50
Smut Clyde said,
June 14, 2008 at 2:30
Was anyone else disappointed and disillusioned when they discovered that Mr Whippy vans only sold ice-cream?
Ehh?
I can’t hear you. There’s some loud buzzing noise going on.
commie atheist said,
June 14, 2008 at 2:50
It’s that 5% of me that gives me the edge.
Only if your 5% is bigger than my 5%.
Wait, what?
commie atheist said,
June 14, 2008 at 2:52
Thank dog that Olney’s lesion is only theoretical.
Oh, and WordPress sucks.
commie atheist said,
June 14, 2008 at 2:55
OK, now on drink No. 2. And WordPress, you’re looking beautiful tonight, I must say.
commie atheist said,
June 14, 2008 at 2:56
WordPress, I think I love you.
Candy said,
June 14, 2008 at 2:58
Only two drinks, and WordPress looks hot to you?
What ya drinking, rubbing alcohol?
Candy said,
June 14, 2008 at 3:09
I shouldn’t be talking though. On the previous thread, I just allowed that Dennis Miller and Tucker Carlson were sorta hot.
I should just go to bed.
Ben said,
June 14, 2008 at 3:12
Whenever I hear the words “enter the strange world of Debbie Schlussel” my first response is “don’t wanna.”
Righteous Bubba said,
June 14, 2008 at 3:20
Drink and drink and things look hot
Wingnuts, websites, vending slots
ifthethunderdontgetya™²³®© said,
June 14, 2008 at 3:32
Righteous Bubba said,
June 14, 2008 at 3:20
Drink and drink and things look hot
Wingnuts, websites, vending slots
————————————————————-
Smoke and smoke and smoke some more
World gets so crooked I can’t see anymore
commie atheist said,
June 14, 2008 at 3:33
Only two drinks, and WordPress looks hot to you?
What ya drinking, rubbing alcohol?
No, it’s just that she’s no longer rejecting me. I’ve always been a sucker for women who said yes.
commie atheist said,
June 14, 2008 at 3:34
Drink and drink and things look hot
Wingnuts, websites, vending slots
I know a good penis removal service.
commie atheist said,
June 14, 2008 at 3:41
DeDurkheim at Rising Hegemon sums up my views on Timmy Russert:
I have to ask… When did Tim Russert become a saint? The guy was a softball questioner to the Bush administration and spent as much time hawking his book as doing serious interviews.
http://rising-hegemon.blogspot.com/2008/06/maybe-uncool-but.html
ifthethunderdontgetya™²³®© said,
June 14, 2008 at 3:57
commie atheist said,
June 14, 2008 at 3:41
DeDurkheim at Rising Hegemon sums up my views on Timmy Russert:
I was close to posting my same response at d r i f t g l a s s there, but didn’t.
At 6:57 PM , ifthethunderdontgetya™²³®© said…
He’ll be missed.
But he’s done bad things.
Poor old fat white multi-millionaire dies of heart attack.
Who cares how many iraqis die tonight, last night, or soon due to the evil this man supported?
The answer, my friends, is blowing Karl Rove. (along with The Truth, and the rest of our trolls.)
PeeJ said,
June 14, 2008 at 4:19
I step out for one or two martinis and there’s SO much to catch up on!
What makes you think I was joking?
Next, hanx Lesley(?) for that video – fan fucking tastic.
Also, will Tim Russert’s epitaph read: ” We used him to get our message out” or whatever it was.
PeeJ said,
June 14, 2008 at 4:21
I know a good penis removal service.
Please stop with the Hillary bashing. It’s over now, c’mon.
Ixion said,
June 14, 2008 at 4:31
I pity you for joking about the Islamist epidemic engulfing our nation. Muslims want to ban everything, including kite flying, nail polish, and phone sex. Why must you mock valiant efforts to oppose the Islamists?
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
June 14, 2008 at 4:51
Well, I guess I’m way too late for this, but Black Chicken is blue. Damn you muslims for naming the only blue skinned meat black.
Libertarius ShadowLord said,
June 14, 2008 at 4:57
The Ghost of Tim Russert can walk easily tonight.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
June 14, 2008 at 5:05
Also, some blue potatoes aren’t purple, but are actually blue.
See here and here.
Anne Laurie said,
June 14, 2008 at 5:06
One of my favorite things about being a grown-up is that I can buy, and eat, as many popsicles as I darn well please! Right before dinner, instead of dinner, in the living room, while wearing my NICE clothes!… Okay, I’m easy to please. I lift a Kids Karnival Stix (flavors: cotton candy (blue), bubble gum, fruit punch, watermelon, sour grape & lemonade; nothing found in nature but they *do* add Vitamin C) in tribute to the death of Tim Russert. Sad news for his wife & family (I actually like Maureen Orth’s stuff) but hopefully an omen for a brighter future with fewer Media Village Idiots so busy turning politics into another “sport” that they find it career-enhancing to tonguebath Darth Cheney on camera. Not to mention, Russert was the man who insisted women would vote for Dubya based on his flightsuit-enhanced “package”. Sorry, Timmeh, I’m not the one staring at the groin of our C-Plus Augustus…
Also, 300-odd comments and nobody has referenced the Japanese penchant for “novelty” ice-cream flavors like horsemeat, taro, and sea-urchin?
The worst ice-cream flavor I’ve ever tasted personally was tomato — my late father was a Euell Gibbons fan. The tomato may be a fruit, but it does *not* make a good ice-cream flavor.
MzNicky said,
June 14, 2008 at 5:09
I heard Skelator was inspecting the Boy Scout Camp (very sad, btw)
Yes, it’s sad. But the “Boy Scout” meme is grating. As if anyone else who may have also died was somehow less worthy of grief. Fucking media wanking whores.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
June 14, 2008 at 5:10
Also, some plums are blue, and there’s a blue skinned squash although you don’t eat the skin on a squash. Damn you Muslims for making squash skin inedible!
MzNicky said,
June 14, 2008 at 5:11
Candy: I hear ya. I’m getting up there myself. Funny how young 58 seems now.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
June 14, 2008 at 5:12
The worst ice-cream flavor I’ve ever tasted personally was tomato
Unless your adenoids have been seared off by snorting too much whatever, there is no ice cream more foul than durian fruit, which while not itself blue, will make your language blue if you smell it.
MzNicky said,
June 14, 2008 at 5:17
I haven’t seen either one of them pandering so far.
Part of my job is to monitor media. I had to turn CNN off this afternoon after they had devoted an entire hour to Russert’s demise. Let the self-referential 24/7 mourning begin.
MzNicky said,
June 14, 2008 at 5:23
Candy: I also allowed as how Tucker was hot. But the S,N boyz totally deserved it what with their drooling over that skank Schussler or whatever her name is.
MzNicky said,
June 14, 2008 at 5:25
When did Tim Russert become a saint?
The minute he kicked the bucket. Sometimes that’s all it takes.
Libertarius ShadowLord said,
June 14, 2008 at 5:25
muslims and popsicle truck bells.
that’s all?
in michigan?
are invading hordes tinkling their way thru the st lawrence seaway???
MzNicky said,
June 14, 2008 at 5:27
The guy was a softball questioner to the Bush administration and spent as much time hawking his book as doing serious interviews.
Not to mention a misogynist shithead. (Remember his “moderating” the Dem debate and douchebagging Hillary?) Then there was that whole Valerie Plame thing.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
June 14, 2008 at 5:29
On your marks, Get set, GO!!
Popsicles trucks are coming this way
So look out for those dhimmis oh yeah,
Fat Wingnut freaks will be paranoid today
Like they are the rest of the time.
I want to lick my popsicle
My popsicle, I like.
[ring-ring]
White Male, Jew of Liberal Fascism said,
June 14, 2008 at 5:38
Moslems hate America so much they have already taken away our nation’s beloved ice cream trucks.
Next they’ll be scheming to take away our bacon, sausage and other pork products.
What the hell, let’s all get our guns and kill ‘em all, right now.
That’ll piss off the liberals big time!
g said,
June 14, 2008 at 5:43
One thing I have to put on the record. Tucker Carlson is NOT hot.
Russert – meh. The hagiography of Tim Russert proceeds apace on TV tonight. I just heard David Gergen talk about how tough Russert was, how he wouldn’t let politicians get away with things. Bullshit.
It’s a shame he died. He was probably a nice guy, and I’m sure his family is devastated.
But he wasn’t Edward Fucking Murrow, OK?
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
June 14, 2008 at 5:49
Tucker Carlson’s secret: dancing. Not joking.
Does the buffoon take himself way too seriously? Yes he does. But not so much that he isn’t willing to dance. That’s the key – slightly dorky guys who are willing to bust a move get all teh ladies hot and bothered. If, however, you are a ridiculously fine piece of man-meat like myself, then you’d do better to move like Gene Kelly or Fred Astaire. So remember that the next time you get a chance to get out on the dance floor. If you don’t go, then you’re more stuck-up and stuffy than Bow-Tie McGee.
MzNicky said,
June 14, 2008 at 5:50
g: No shit. He was a media whore, and a rather tiresome, obnoxious one at that.
And Tucker Carlson IS hot, god help me.
SamFromUtah said,
June 14, 2008 at 5:52
WordPress, I think I love you.
But I wanna knoooow for sure. (Ba-wah-wa-waaaah!)
MzNicky said,
June 14, 2008 at 5:53
Dragon-King Wangchuck: Please keep in mind we’re responding to the S,N XY’s who opined as how they’d “hit” the Malkin thing and the Schulessel thing despite those XX’s respective and obvious wingnuttery.
commie atheist said,
June 14, 2008 at 5:56
I lift a Kids Karnival Stix (flavors: cotton candy (blue), bubble gum, fruit punch, watermelon, sour grape & lemonade; nothing found in nature but they *do* add Vitamin C) in tribute to the death of Tim Russert. Sad news for his wife & family (I actually like Maureen Orth’s stuff) but hopefully an omen for a brighter future with fewer Media Village Idiots so busy turning politics into another “sport” that they find it career-enhancing to tonguebath Darth Cheney on camera. Not to mention, Russert was the man who insisted women would vote for Dubya based on his flightsuit-enhanced “package”. Sorry, Timmeh, I’m not the one staring at the groin of our C-Plus Augustus…
Yes, but wasn’t it Chris Matthews who actually creamed his pants over the sight of Chimpy McFlightsuit?
commie atheist said,
June 14, 2008 at 5:58
And Tucker Carlson IS hot, god help me.
MzNicky, say it ain’t so. I’m going to have to assume you’ve been drinking and aren’t in control of your mental faculties.
commie atheist said,
June 14, 2008 at 6:00
I’m drinkin’ wine now, they ran out of gin.
(Name that obscure music reference!)
MzNicky said,
June 14, 2008 at 6:08
commie atheist:
Well yes, I have been indulging in a very nice riesling rather more than I should tonight. But if the Malkin thing, in all her putritude and odiousness, can (to my great consternation) arouse some of the S,N menfolk nonetheless, then I feel I have nothing to apologize for in thinking Tucker Carlson is, in an equally disqualifying way, a cutie-pie.
Righteous Bubba said,
June 14, 2008 at 6:09
Dragon-King Wangchuck: Please keep in mind we’re responding to the S,N XY’s
Suuuuuuuurrrre.
Simba B said,
June 14, 2008 at 6:12
I just have to say, that wingnuttery, extreme religiosity, or whatever, just ruins a person’s attractiveness for me.
Mind you, I can acquiesce to a certain aesthetic quality to some wingnuts, but as for raw physical attraction nothing quite puts the kibosh on that like teh crazy.
Maybe it’s just because right-wing gay men tend to be pretty fucked up as a rule, just because of the cognitive dissonance required, but wingnuttery is an instant cold shower for me.
MzNicky said,
June 14, 2008 at 6:14
RB: I didn’t say ALL the S,N XY’s.
Mr. Bath Bear said,
June 14, 2008 at 6:16
Just because I always like to make an appearance in the superlong threads, I’ll point out that El Sid pitched some shit-hot relief in the seventh game of the ’86 Series.
henry lewis said,
June 14, 2008 at 6:17
You’d pass out at least 2 full kegs beforehand.
This is DN’s conundrum.
DP said,
June 14, 2008 at 6:20
Damn… that Debbie, she looks half hot but she’s a loon for sure…strange world indeed…
first donuts, now ice cream. What’s next? Pez? Zagnut? Sunny D?
And Tucker Carlson is definately NOT hot…
Lesley said,
June 14, 2008 at 6:29
No amount of alcohol could persuade me that Taylor Carlson is anything more than a sublime punching bag for my kickboxing feet.
Especially his princely hairdoos…KICK THAT GROOMED SHIT!
Lesley said,
June 14, 2008 at 6:31
strike Taylor, insert Tucker. They’re interchangeable, really.
Righteous Bubba said,
June 14, 2008 at 6:31
Gather ye wingnuts while ye may,
The campaign drums are drumming:
And this same wingnut that comes to-day
To-morrow won’t be coming.
The glorious rise of Obama, the man,
The higher he’s a-getting,
The wingnuts will feel their race is run,
And no more heavy petting.
That time is best which seems success,
When wingnuts think they’re hot;
But once they wake and see the mess
They won’t be hot to trot.
So be not coy, wingnut seducer,
Pluck blooms while they are pluckable:
For November’s on it’s way,
And sad sacks are less fuckable.
Lesley said,
June 14, 2008 at 6:32
Debbie Schlossel reminds me of that beefy figure skater from the trailer park who assaulted that other figure skater…names escape me.
Righteous Bubba said,
June 14, 2008 at 6:33
I got so excited about pluckable and fuckable that I ruined the rhyme scheme in the last verse. Strike me down Erato!
commie atheist said,
June 14, 2008 at 6:36
MzNicky, Tucker Carlson is a humunculous.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homunculus
commie atheist said,
June 14, 2008 at 6:39
Debbie Schlossel reminds me of that beefy figure skater from the trailer park who assaulted that other figure skater…names escape me.
That would be Tonya Harding.
MzNicky said,
June 14, 2008 at 6:40
That time is best which seems success,
When wingnuts think they’re hot;
Nuts, hot nuts! Get ‘em from yer p-nut man!
Sorry. I’m so sorry I wrote that.
patrick said,
June 14, 2008 at 6:40
It looks like I’m late to the game, but I wanted to note that overlooked in Debbie’s deluge of paranoid stupid was this secondary idiocy:
Don’t you know those laid-off auto workers depend on the Ding-Ding Man for a job, and here these anti-capitalist camel-humpers are stifling free commerce because they want to kill “American-style fun.” Outrageous! Why, mobile ice cream confection vendors account for 38% of Michigan’s economy these days and 62% of its jobs. Depriving the pleasant peninsula of its foremost industry on account of these commie-muzzies is unconscionable.
commie atheist said,
June 14, 2008 at 6:40
Yes, I see the resemblance.
http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://img228.imageshack.us/img228/3122/tonyaharding031507mvh4.jpg&imgrefurl=http://themenacingidiot.blogspot.com/2007/03/tonya-hardings-hard-times-full-tilt.html&h=320&w=256&sz=15&tbnid=0WTQqKMl1UEJ::&tbnh=118&tbnw=94&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dtonya%2Bharding&hl=en&sa=X&oi=image_result&resnum=3&ct=image&cd=1
Lesley said,
June 14, 2008 at 6:42
Big Head Todd and the Monsters is offering a free download of its latest album.
http://bigheadtodd.com/music/
MzNicky said,
June 14, 2008 at 6:42
Dudes/dudettes! Hotness is subjective!
Exhibits 1 and 2: Malkin and Schlussel.
Lesley said,
June 14, 2008 at 6:43
Yes, I see the resemblance.
thank you Commie Athiest. Yes, Tonya Harding and DS were separated at birth.
Righteous Bubba said,
June 14, 2008 at 6:44
I think what’s pissing me off the most these days is how fucking high the cost of gasoline flavoured ice-cream has gotten.
Lesley said,
June 14, 2008 at 6:48
MzNicky, I would have to be a very lonely and blind drunk individual to find Malkin and the Schlusswiener attractive. We must not forget the sexual significance of voices. I very much doubt anyone could sustain interest past hearing the shrill of the Malkin and the dull crazytown roar of the Schluss.
commie atheist said,
June 14, 2008 at 6:49
Dudes/dudettes! Hotness is subjective!
Exhibits 1 and 2: Malkin and Schlussel.
The ugliness within overwhelms any possibility of outer hotness.
commie atheist said,
June 14, 2008 at 6:49
And, what Lesley said.
commie atheist said,
June 14, 2008 at 7:03
And thanks, Lesley, for the Big Head Todd download. Listening to “it’s Allright” and it’s bringing back memories of the early nineties. when the world still seemed like it might not be such a crazy fucked up place after all. Little did I know…
Lesley said,
June 14, 2008 at 7:15
Happy to oblige. I’m partial to Silvery Moon and Cruel Fate on that album. They have a great version of Boom Boom but I don’t know what album it’s on.
A local chap, Jim Bryson has some high quality freebies.
http://www.jimbryson.org/mp3s.shtml
I recommend Sleeping in Toronto and The Lost Occasional.
Just discovered Meshell Ndegeocello
http://youtube.com/watch?v=0ZcpUyI9jhU
Her album Bitter is sublime (this song is on it).
g said,
June 14, 2008 at 7:19
I can’t condemn MzNicky for having the hots for a conservative, despite her principles. But even if he were a liberal, Tucker Carlson is too much of a dweeb for me.
If the attraction isn’t a shared philosophy and principles, then if I’m going to go for the Other Side, I like the bad boys. Tucker ain’t a bad boy.
And – speaking of drinking – who will join me in my third Sauvignon blanc of the night?
We made hamburgers stuffed with Pt. Reyes blue cheese tonight, served on a bed of arugula. I know we’re a bunch of fucking elitists, but it was Damned Good.
Lesley said,
June 14, 2008 at 7:26
song for our times
Echo and the Bunnymen – My Kingdom
http://youtube.com/watch?v=Yk2UTyuj9p8
Lesley said,
June 14, 2008 at 7:27
quality is shit though…
commie atheist said,
June 14, 2008 at 7:28
We made hamburgers stuffed with Pt. Reyes blue cheese tonight, served on a bed of arugula. I know we’re a bunch of fucking elitists, but it was Damned Good.
Didn’t know they made cheese in Pt. Reyes.
Going whale watching off Monterey tomorrow (my Father’s Day present from the wife and kid). Sunday it’s off to AT&T with the heir to see the Giants/A’s game. Shaping up as the best weekend in some time. God, I love the Bay Area.
Lesley said,
June 14, 2008 at 7:35
personality matters, g. tucker is ick city in that dept. there are so many worthy men and women to fantasize about …but tucker? hee!
Lesley said,
June 14, 2008 at 7:54
Eva Cassidy is an antidote to everything Schlussel.
Red said,
June 14, 2008 at 8:24
If you cook red cabbage, it turns blue. Not purple, blue. The water looks like the stuff they use in feminine hygiene/diaper commercials.
Johnny Coelacanth said,
June 14, 2008 at 8:31
Ergo, Cabbage is blue.
protected static said,
June 14, 2008 at 8:47
@MzNicky
Liar! (Though I mean that in the nicest possible way…)
@commie atheist
Point Reyes Blue. Yum.
protected static said,
June 14, 2008 at 8:49
These comment sploggers need to be nuked from orbit.
It’s the only way to be sure.
Smut Clyde said,
June 14, 2008 at 10:29
when you assume, you make an ass out of u and me.
What’s more, when you postulate, you make a post out of u and late.
Sorry, I’ve been out drinking.
snoozer said,
June 14, 2008 at 11:35
During Ireland’s “troubles” of the 70s, Muslim drivers (brown Irish people anyway becuase most were Indian Hindu) drove the Ice cream trucks, and most other trucks to – white drivers tended to get stoned by white pedestrians along with their trucks, despite the lovely elevator music.
I’m not sure of the dates (or facts) but the Vanellia was great and the Choc bars were yummy – not sure if Debbie would have liked the Green ones, they had mint in them ;)
Bill said,
June 14, 2008 at 11:43
http://www.mistersoftee.com/music.html
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
June 14, 2008 at 12:19
Hahaha! Posting in the early hours of Saturday morning, the urban avian chorus a tweet-ing and a coo-ing outside, while the rest of yous are nursing Sauvignon hangovers!!!!
PENIS
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
June 14, 2008 at 12:27
The Mister Softee music reminds us all of an very important fact. Popsicles and pre-fab goo coated bars/cones etc. All of that shit you can get at the grocery store. This here parnoid fantasy is about ice cream trucks. So it’s the soft serve that we should be waxing nostalgic about. Old school, ice cream, before the days of twist with butterscotch dip.
When I was a kid, we only had vanilla, I think there might have been chocolate, but they kept that in a whole other truck, one that didn’t come round to where I lived. And this nonsense about chocolate/vanilla swirl? Shocking, absolutely shocking. Next thing you know, we’ll be putting cones into cones or serving ice cream without a cone at all. I mean, everyone knows that a frozen dessert should be one cone with one pile of soft-serve ice cream. Seriously folks, think of the childrens.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
June 14, 2008 at 12:31
And despite the fact that all of the crazy Islamofascists that make me want to hide under the bed are like myself, homphobic chauvinists scumbags, I blame the Moos-liams for the prevalence of same snacks frozen desserts, and the wide variety of things we’re now considering ice cold treats.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
June 14, 2008 at 12:36
Slippery slope I tells ya! Slippery slope. You start stacking cones together, and then you’ll get someone that wants one cone and like half a dozen ice creams, or more. Or they’ll want to feed their ice cream to a dog, or put their ice cream cone on a box turtle. That way lies the end of civilization. Our great society was founded on the idea of simple desserts that are the same for everyone. You want something different? Why don’t you go back to the freaky-mixed-dessert-istan that you came from.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
June 14, 2008 at 12:37
PENIS
White Male, Jew of Liberal Fascism said,
June 14, 2008 at 13:43
You want something different? Why don’t you go back to the freaky-mixed-dessert-istan that you came from.
Yes! How dare these people come here and criticize our high-calorie low-nutritive value desserts!
Our free-market fast food industry: making the American body the envy of the world!
White Male, Jew of Liberal Fascism said,
June 14, 2008 at 13:44
Oh yes, I did close that tag, Wordpress.
Rightwingsnarkle said,
June 14, 2008 at 15:18
Blog-whoring: My tribute to Tim Russert is up.
It’s funny (I think). It’s true. It’s funny and true.
Which is what he would have wanted.
Jacob Singer said,
June 14, 2008 at 15:43
“Posting in the early hours of Saturday morning, the urban avian chorus a tweet-ing and a coo-ing outside, while the rest of yous are nursing Sauvignon hangovers!!!!”
I’ll have you know that not only am I up at this ungodly hour on a Saturday morning, I’m still drunk from Ketel One vodka shots with cranberry juice chasers, and the birds are singing meerily in Flowery Branch, GA, so FIE on ye and yon avian chorus.
Jacob Singer said,
June 14, 2008 at 15:45
Yeah, I said “meerily”. Wannafightaboudit?
g said,
June 14, 2008 at 16:13
If you cook red cabbage, it turns blue. Not purple, blue. The water looks like the stuff they use in feminine hygiene/diaper commercials.
that’s why you gotta put something acid in the cooking liquid. Lemon juice, or cider vinegar, or white wine. Acid makes it turn that lovely red-violet. Without acid it looks like a bruise.
And I am NOT hungover, I tellya. Not.
MileHi Hawkeye said,
June 14, 2008 at 16:34
Good morning liebrals!
*bangs pots loudly, slams door*
How’s everyone feeling this am?
Oh, you haven’t enjoyed Big Head Todd and the Monsters until you seen them at Red Rocks on a clear, sparkly Colorado summer’s eve.
Today is the Westword Music Fest and MileHi get to see the Drive-By Truckers and a ton of local bands without staying up past his bedtime. Yeah!
Smiling Mortician said,
June 14, 2008 at 16:36
*bangs pots loudly, slams door*
Dad?
Wannafightaboudit?
Great day in the morning to you, Jacob.
MzNicky said,
June 14, 2008 at 16:49
May I just say in my own defense that last night’s Tucker Carlson lust was brought on solely by horror and outrage at some here saying they found Schlussel and Malkin hot. He was the only male wingnut I could think of who isn’t physically repulsive as well as mentally defective. Plus he reminds me of an English professor I once had. Whose class I once took I mean.
g said,
June 14, 2008 at 17:14
Tucker would be a plaything to amuse oneself with while waiting for someone of more substance.
And – one interesting note – I used to be quite disasterously attracted to Bad Boys, so you’d think there would be at least ONE conservative asshole I’d find attractive. But no, I actually can’t think of a one.
The non-Bad-Boy types, like Limbaugh, Doughy and Don Surber are simply too flaccid and entitled to be attractive; the really psychopathic ones, like Glen Beck G. Gordon Liddy,etc., make me never want to be within 100 yards of them. Even the little lord types, like Virgin Ben, make me want to pat them on the head and send them on their way.
So, OK, MzNicky, I suppose that as a Conservative, Tucker is unique in that a gal could actually imagine doing him, rather than being repelled.
mikey said,
June 14, 2008 at 18:00
Y’know,, I’ve often reflected that if a large fraction of women weren’t attracted to assholes and thugs, I’d very likely have spent my life celibate.
So Thanks!
Oh. And sorry…
mikey
MzNicky said,
June 14, 2008 at 18:10
Yeah g., that’s all I was sayin’. Trying to anyway.
MzNicky said,
June 14, 2008 at 18:15
And a final note: While a shithead conservative dude would have to be smokin’ hot to even consider doing, the reverse is also true — that is, a brainy, witty, nonsexist liberal dude could look like Quasimodo and still be considered do-able.
Righteous Bubba said,
June 14, 2008 at 18:43
look like Quasimodo and still be considered do-able.
How about Quasimodo without a penis? Asking for a friend.
kenga said,
June 14, 2008 at 18:53
I smell fundraiser! Sorry Lesley, you’re going to have to stay more-or-less sober.
For the kids, I mean.
t4toby said,
June 14, 2008 at 19:36
As one of the males accused of thinking Little Debbie Snackcakes is hot, I’d like to remind you that I was saying it related to drinking and her general skankiness, a backhanded compliment if you will.
Oh, and good morning.
Candy said,
June 14, 2008 at 20:12
Debbie Schlossel reminds me of that beefy figure skater from the trailer park who assaulted that other figure skater…names escape me.
That would be Tonya Harding.
Except that Tonya was actually once really great at something.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
June 14, 2008 at 20:48
Earlier I said
The only response was MzNicky asking for us not to take her thing for Tucker out of context. So here we are, almost 100 posts on and my claims remain unchallenged – because they are true. Dorky guys who are willing to dance are hot. All you dorks that can’t get laid – take some dance classes. Geez, take a latin dance class, and the chiquitas there’ll treat you like Richard Gere (minus the gerbil). You don’t even have to get good at dancing, in fact being kinda off, actually helps.
And more importantly, the whole intortubules can not deny that I am a ridiculously fine piece of man-meat.
MzNicky said,
June 14, 2008 at 22:28
RB – Tell your “friend” that (speaking only for myself, of course) the one requirement for a doable cool liberal Quasimodo dude would be that he must indeed possess a penis. Hands come in handy as well. (Ha! I make with teh funny.)
D-KW: I meant to say last night that you are indeed spot-on about dorky dancing dudes. Meanwhile, I’m afraid you must submit a photo in order for your intriguing claim to be verified by the proper authorities.
Magda Carter said,
June 15, 2008 at 3:19
http://www.smh.com.au/news/arts/cream-of-the-crop-133-seaing-is-believing/2006/11/01/1162339919055.html
globally warmed ice cream van
Kip W said,
June 16, 2008 at 2:47
Somebody set up us the bomb pop!
SqueakyRat said,
June 16, 2008 at 5:54
That City Council is obvioulsy patriotic 100% Americans. Together they must weigh about a metric ton.
Balloon Juice » Blog Archive » A Bailout Plan the GOP Can Support said,
December 12, 2008 at 18:35
[...] I am aware that Michigan has a ginormous Muslim population and has almost instituted Sharia Law. I think you can understand what needs to be [...]
Francesca said,
December 25, 2008 at 10:02
I’m not a muslim and I’m not a parent. (Note, in Schlussel’s Knee jerk world, anythiing muslim is bad.) But if I were a parent, I would have no tolerance for anything that would lure my children into running out into moving traffic. I call it the well duh factor. Moreover haven’t there been a whole slew of pedophiles using these seedy old vans to lure in children?
As it is, in my neighborhood, they’re just annoying. The nostalgia factor is gone. And Debbie, you unbalanced Zionist, have you ever heard of grocery stores? Believe it or not you can buy ice cream there. Who’d a thunk it? And as a parent you can give it to your kids at your own discretion. I know Schlussel, despite her supposed conservatism, must like the nanny state, since she hates fat women. Well come to think of it, she hates just about everything-unless muslims decide they don’t like it.