Ugh. I didn’t, but I will now.

I don’t think you noticed Mayor McCheese’s eyebrows when he started talking about the Hambuggerer.

I wonder if there’s a community for people who dress up like giant sammitches for, you know, sexual gratification.

Now all we need is someone to mention furries and say that giant sammiches are attractive and we’ll have reached thread perfection.

Okay, I’m going to go clean the bathroom now. It’s less disgusting than thinking about Scott Stapp in those terms. I apoligize for any resulting mental images the Sadly,No! community may suffer.

The Nooge was one of the most polite famous people I met, though. Always made me wonder just how much of his shit is an act. Not that I care or that it matters, existentially speaking.

I was under the impression that much of the appeal of right-wing dudes was the fact that they are not vectors of STDs.

That would be central to my point, Smut Clyde.

Her latest column starts with a tease

America is entering a brand new era. For the very first time we might elect a black president. God bless America. We have awaited this occasion since the struggling days of the Civil Rights Movement led by Dr. Martin Luther King.

Oh! Say it’s true MJ’. Tell me that you’ve renounced your batshit crazy ways, that the mighty power of Dragon-King Wangchuck has made you become liberal in ways other than hoarding delusions.

It is most unfortunate that Senator Barack Obama was the one chosen for the honor, however.

Oh well. At least we might get a kick out of seeing where this goes….

The Democrat National Party picked a man who was not sufficiently scrutinized and vetted. The truth is that Obama is not the suitable uniter for our country. In fact, it is quite likely that he will turn America upside down, bringing about divisive racial retrogression.

I see, although you’ve been digging up dirt, innuendo and rumors on Obama, and some people had to watch through countless hours culled from years of Wright sermons to put together a short hate clip, who knows what skeletons are in his closet. Maybe he likes doing stuff with wetsuits, maybe he has a whole second family. Maybe he’s muslim! Gee, I’m glad that the Clintonites didn’t start any crazy memes that the wingnuts are going to pick up and drive into the well vetted ground. Oh and nice shoutout to Ruppert.

Do not question why you may be feeling uncomfortable with Obama. He is the epitome of what we’ve seen through the prism of those with whom he has chosen to associate for over twenty years.

Hey, not only is Barry black, but a lot of his friends are too. So it’s a-ok to be racist, he’s not just a guy who happens to be black, but he’s a black guy with black associates, and a black family and blackity-black-black!

If you are a person of faith, God has given you the gift of spiritual intuition. Use it wisely. Everyone has common sense. Obama said he resigned his membership from Trinity United Church in Chicago “with some sadness.” He also said he was not going to denounce the church that has caused so much pain and ambivalence for so many, including Democrats.

In other words, all you true believers don’t need proof to dislike Obama, unlike those unbelieving, faithless negroes at Trinity United, who are hurtful and black.

Phew. Too much Marie Jon’ at one time. Gotta take a break, if I smoked, now would be a good time to light one up. Maybe a shower and a nap.

Damn you, non-shallow estrogen-driven sensibilities!

yark

It’s the beer talking.

Jonah might not be bad if he worked out (a lot) and lost sammich excess (a lot).

But I’d do Jonah before Debbie. She’s just the type to give you a disease.