American right-tards know there are two Conservative parties in England. One closes down pools and had Neville Chamberlain for a leader, and the other Conservative party is all high-diving Winston Churchills. YOU clearly didn’t know that.

place power in the hands of Obottish lawyers who seek to automize and regulate us to every inch of our being

That is some first class faux Concern Trolling right there.

I often reflect thankfully on the fact that I’m not a kid these days. Then I reflect even more thankfully on the fact that I’m not a parent.

The media, as ever, deserves some part of the blame. I think it was Harry Shearer who said that the real business of local network newscasts is to scare parents (even more) senseless, and the newspapers have done their best to follow the anchorpods’ lead. This leads to heavily hyped teasers!!!! with BOLD BLOCK LEDES and *ominous background music* selling stories like “WATER PARK DANGER — IS YOUR CHILD AT RISK?” Which, stripped of the multimedia scariness, turned out to be one toddler came home from a long day at the local expensive indoor water playground with a mild rash, “probably” a reaction to chlorine, so the health department quite sensibly closed the site down until it could be verified that they’d completely flushed all the pools and channels and also proven their chlorine-monitoring gauges had been checked. (Just imagine what the networks might have done if too little chlorine had led to, say, an actual e. coli scare.) But the three local channels managed to spread this terrifying “outbreak” over three days, finding another couple of parents who were fairly sure that their kids had succumbed to autism unsightly rashes after spending time at the water park, and surely SOMETHING MUST BE DONE!!! to ensure that the “perpetrators” (no lie, this word was actually pronounced, not correctly, by one of the parents) were “caught” and “punished” for this outrage…

Of course, all the other parents watching stories like this are encouraged to believe that any form of parenting less aggressive than following their kids around 24/7 monitoring their every step for fear of rashes, falls, fecal contamination, dog bites, pedophile predation, or a sense of proportion will get them busted for Bad Parenting. Every incident ratchets up the what-while-the-other-parents-think paranoia level. Meanwhile, these same parents know — at least subconsciously — that every day their kids are being exposed to physical & mental toxins at a rate unimaginable to earlier generations, so the genuine fears about high-fructose corn syrup and lead-contaminated toys and peak oil and anti-science/anti-religious (choose one or both!) activists turning the local schools into indoctrination centers, things parents believe they have no control over, get confused with stuff like whether there is/should be A LAW mandating that no public pool should be more than 18 inches deep or that the public library should should block all internet sites not safe for prepubescents. And of course it is all to the good of the fReichtards like Gingrich Cushman Gingrich if *every* parent can be induced to believe that all the other (decent) parents are in favor of raising their sprogs in bubbles, sigh.

Charles Krauthammer is a quadriplegic because he dove into an empty pool.

Arrgh there, Supreme Being! Ya wouldn’t be a-joshin’ the ol’ Cap’n, now, wouldja? Say it ain’t so! No, wait — say it IS so!

The stupid bitch doesn’t realize that It is the fucking Conservatives who are trying to close the pools!!!!!!!!!!!.

That’s exactly what I was thinking…

Nope, it’s now closed. The only real pools left are Ashworth and, um, can’t think of the name of the other one. It’s out by Merle Hay mall.

Almost makes one believe in Me.

I witnessed an 8-year old boy fall from a high dive onto the concrete and lose his life. I say high dives should be banned from public pools unless they have protection to keep people falling off where they can hit the concrete

To which the response is:

An 8 year old hits the concrete from a high dive?!?! That’s just natural culling.

Stay classy NRO.

(I’ll burn in hell for that. I did go, the show sucked, but Sandy’s still adorable and funny and dances like a woman half her age.)

Let me guess. It was the first day with the hook?