7
The Pursuit of Dappiness
As I’m sure you all know, very little in life gives me more pleasure than stupid people getting incredibly irate over totally meaningless things. It’s the reason I post on this site. So when Michelle Obama threw the dap at her husband a few days ago, I prayed a tiny little pray to my good friend Jesus: “Dear Lord in Heaven above,” I said, “If you love me the way I love you, you will let crazy right-wingers totally flip their shit over this utterly noncontroversial event.”
Well, folks, I don’t know about you, but I have proof that Jesus loves me, because not only did every square-butted news magazine in America stand agog and write a hilariously embarrassing “What is this crazy Negro fist-bump, anyway?” article, but enough Fightin’ Keyboarders percieved in the dap elements of gang affiliation, foreign nationialism or terrorist sympathy to keep me in tears all weekend.
To be fair to the wingnuts, most of them focused on the fact that a big deal is being made over nothing, and that the excessive coverage of Barry Obama and his wife throwing dap is sort of embarrassing. This is true, but it’s not funny. So, to be unfair to the wingnuts, many of them reacted exactly the way I hoped they would. Let’s watch!
Above: what really happened, and how the wingnuts saw it
Now, you know and I know that the dap, which even white people have been using since Tupac had a split-level fade, is about as harmless a gesture as the pound (for which it has often been confused during discussions of this non-event by white people). You may even recall seeing living proof of this on The Office, where Oscar and Kevin, not exactly the two most street-savvy characters on the show, exchange it from time to time after getting one over on Angela. But to some people — and by “people”, here, I mean “Freepers” — it’s still a symbol that as soon as Obama takes office, he’s going to go all Robert Mugabe on us:
The “fist bump” is just short of gang signing. Nice going Barry. (“carter”)
***
Fist bump? How charming. And what a marvelous example for all the black kids in projects all over the country…especially Chicago. It legitimizes being a thug and a punk. Nice. (“RexBeach”)
***
A kiss and a hug with your wife is appropriate. A fist pump??….spells Wright’s followers. (“Sacajaweau”)
***
It is more evidence of the penetration and corruption of our dominant culture by the minority. There will be a lot more of this if Obama gets into the White House. (“Ffranco”)
Meanwhile, over at Stop the ACLU, truck-window pinup queen Cassy Fiano is inspired to ‘80s-isms of her own, saying “gag me” at the Obama’s dap display; her commenters are even more blunt, calling the couple “getto [sic]” and expressing fears that next up are “a pimped-out Escalade”, “Spinners on the Presidential Limo”, “grafitti [sic] on Air Force One”, and “pants down around their butts”. Jenn at the Political Jungle finds it necessary to call one of the Obamas, though it’s not clear whether she means Barack or Michelle, a “Long Legged Pimp”, and a delightful “What Black People Are Up To Today” feature on Good Morning Yahoo! also lets the worms crawl out of the woodwork with comments like these:
THE NEXT THING WILL BE A BACKWARD BASEBALL HAT WITH USA FACING TO THE REAR. WILL THE STAR SPANGLED BANNER SOON BE A RAP SONG. (“CDM”)
***
I love the idea of a racist mullato being president. History has shown repeatedly, when Whites set up new countries and then give the control to the blacks, or any non-White race, it will soon collapse into another third world catastrophe. This is exactly what this ‘politically correct’ country needs so people will wake up. I hope OBAMA throws hip hop concerts on the White house lawn! (“heathengrafix”)
***
Obama’s wife is so ghetto!!! Our country will be in big trouble if he is elected!!! A video will be coming out of her telling “whitey to die”. Meaning white people! Higher taxes!!! Barack Hussein Obama??? A Muslim president??? We are fighting Muslim’s in Iraq for goodness sake!!! Come on people! (“Mark”)
***
At least Gore acted like a human. I can’t be denied that just about all their dance moves , walks and crazy handshakes mimik some kind of animal motion. What’s next? the knee in the crotch-hands above the head greeting? or maybe the Elbow thing. Putin will love that. If Prsident Obama disapproves of something will he be grabbing his balls with both hands and telling people where to go? (“cl652000”)
***
Another dispaly how Black “keep it real”-real dumb. Picture Obama and wife having to meet world dignitaries. 1st of all this Punk of a wanna-be presient doesn’t even salute his OWN flag. that will look retarted when the national anthem is played as he stands in front of other world officals. He never mentions race yet he acts more Black everyday. Russia China & Korea come! makes us all slaves now. (“Donnie O.”)
***
You got to be kidding, The fist “bump”, .America “WAKE UP”, You are getting your first taste of what it is going to be like electing Barack HUSSEIN Obama for president. Next you are going to see southern fried chicken, black-eyed peas, corn bread, and watermelon as your daily meal. Let’s not forget what Obama’s middle name is, funny thing, he never wants to use his middle name on his campaign. (“hoooch71”)
***
I find it to be tacky furthermore, it lessens the formal class of the White House. This is exactly what we are possibly letting into our nations leadership. I expect next we may see white house orchestra begin playing “hip hop”. If Obama is elected, I am retiring to the Bahama’s. (“jrw315”)
Amazing! All very informative stuff, but look – we all know that Barack and Michelle Obama are low-class ignorant ghetto gangstas. All you have to do is look at them to know that. The real question is, how does this alien fist-bumping gesture tie into their support of America-hating terrorists? At first, it seemed like granite-headed ex-dignitary Cal Thomas would clear it up for us; his column in Human Events was the first reference we could find to the dap as “’Hezbollah-style’ fist-jabbing”. But apparently, the comment became such an instant laughing-stock that it was removed from the HE website; it’s not even clear whether Thomas himself said it, or if it was a commenter. Less ambiguous, however, were our truth-seeking friends at FOX News; their E.D. Hill teased a typically Melvinish “what does this hep gesture mean to America, Chet?” segment by asking if what the Obamas force on our virgin eyes was “a fist bump? A pound? A terrorist fist jab?”
Strangely enough, Hill didn’t mention terrorist fist jabs in the actual piece, leaving millions of Americans uncertain as to whether major league baseball players are sending secret signals to their al-Q’aeda masters following every home run. Come on, FOX! You’re supposed to be on our side!
Hoosier X said,
June 7, 2008 at 21:13
Give them some credit. They know tacky.
terrorist fist hijabs™²³®© said,
June 7, 2008 at 21:15
Heh heh heh.
Von Pseud said,
June 7, 2008 at 21:15
’Hezbollah-style’ fist-jabbing”
A complicated dance move, and part of a sequence which includes ‘the Nasrallah nudge’ and ‘the Katyusha splits kick’.
Johnny Coelacanth said,
June 7, 2008 at 21:16
Obama’s first State of The Union address: “Yo, mad props to my peeps from the White Hizzouse. Smooth word to your mother; let’s implement a policy that exploits the color.”
Gundamhead said,
June 7, 2008 at 21:18
“History has shown repeatedly, when Whites set up new countries and then give the control to the blacks, or any non-White race, it will soon collapse into another third world catastrophe.”
History has shown that there has never been a mud troglodyte country that’s ever accomplished anything or ever been anything more than a third world catastrophe.
Also, those lazy, greedy, criminally inclined mulattoes are the real racists!
I’m still shocked that people like this actually exist. Why hasn’t John McCain and NRO denounced and rejected them yet? Never mind, I think I know the answer.
Leonard Pierce said,
June 7, 2008 at 21:19
Obama issues tax rebates to all Americans; claims they “earned that bump like a motherfucker”
Von Pseud said,
June 7, 2008 at 21:20
…and speaking of the Middle East, has Obama’s latest AIPAC speech tripped into the memory hole already. Admitedly he didn’t get quite the fawning reception afforded Johnny McCain but what sort of people hears that and thinks ‘aha, this man is planning abandon Israel and cede Uncle Sam’s territory to the Caliphate! Flee!’
Von Pseud said,
June 7, 2008 at 21:21
That last one was full of typos. Apologies.
Blue Buddha said,
June 7, 2008 at 21:24
Fixed.
Legalize said,
June 7, 2008 at 21:25
After Jason Giambi hit a homerun this afternoon, I think I saw him touch knuckles with Hideki Matsui. Now, Matsui, I can understand. He’s not even white, which by definition means that he is not American. On the other hand, Giambi is white, and therefor a proper American. I will be watchful of this dizzying trend. As should we all be. I will catalog every fist-touching among baseball players from now on.
J— said,
June 7, 2008 at 21:27
If Obama is elected, I am retiring to the Bahama’s.
You might want to check the islands’ demography first, jrw315.
roy edroso said,
June 7, 2008 at 21:27
Your post proves you are racist against white people, as I’m sure someone will soon point out.
Johnny Coelacanth said,
June 7, 2008 at 21:27
I heard that Obama was pushing for a “freestyle battle” rule in any upcoming debates with John McCain. All comments and replies must last no more than two minutes, be in rhyming meter and accompanied by a beat to be chosen by both parties beforehand. If no beat can be agreed to, snippets of James Brown’s “Funky Drummer” will be employed. Debate winners will be based on audience acclamation for the “illest” rhymes and most concise policy summarizations.
Blue Buddha said,
June 7, 2008 at 21:27
You forget that Giambi is one of them greasy wops. You can’t trust them.
J— said,
June 7, 2008 at 21:28
So how to interpret the forearm bash? And what about José Reyes’ little dance?
Gundamhead said,
June 7, 2008 at 21:30
I dunno Legalize, “Giambi” sounds like one of those slovenly Mediterraneans. If they are white it’s only just barely. Well as long he’s not some fucking mick or pollack or something.
witty1 said,
June 7, 2008 at 21:31
Wow, can you be more humorless than the wingnuts? Oh, that’s right, “Half-Hour News Hour”.
poopy Mcpants said,
June 7, 2008 at 21:33
Baseball has always been sympathetic to terrorists: they don’t call it the suicide squeeze for nothing.
Jim said,
June 7, 2008 at 21:35
Man, me too, heathengrafix!
Seeing as how he’s from Chicago and all, do you think it will be sort of Kanye/Common/Lupe Fiasco blowout?
Or will it be a celebration of artists from states he’s won?
Also, I’m deeply saddened to see that none of them haplessly referred to it as “fisting.”
Johnny Coelacanth said,
June 7, 2008 at 21:38
I’m deeply saddened to see that none of them haplessly referred to it as “fisting.”
Nah, you would only have seen references to “fisting” if Hillary were the nominee.
cbear said,
June 7, 2008 at 21:39
I don’t understand all the confusion. Everybody (at NoQuarter) knows that the dap means:
‘You betta git me mah money, ho.”
Doctorb said,
June 7, 2008 at 21:42
To be fair (well, not really), a lot of that is pretty much how I’ve felt about the rise to political prominence of people who think a tie is made out of a string and a rock.
Of course I really doubt the people worrying about the dap or uh “gang signs” were worried that Bush would put steer horns on Limo One.
tigrismus said,
June 7, 2008 at 21:42
If Obama is elected, I am retiring to the Bahama’s.
OMG, I can’t stand the suspense, retiring to the Bahama’s WHAT?!!
Typical Republican said,
June 7, 2008 at 21:44
If Barack HUSSEIN Obama is elected, the Statue of Libery will be replaced by a giant replica of Aunt Jemima.
Do you liberals want that?
Liberals. Hmf.
Summer said,
June 7, 2008 at 21:45
Anyway, I think I’d be a great class president. So, who wants to eat chiminichangas next year? Not me. See, with me it will be summer all year long. Vote for Summer.
tigrismus said,
June 7, 2008 at 21:49
I heard that Obama was pushing for a “freestyle battle” rule in any upcoming debates with John McCain.
The Dozens Debates will be must-see TV.
Soj said,
June 7, 2008 at 21:50
I’m with J– and tigrismus, that guy is gonna get a BIG surprise once he lands in Nassau ;;)
Hoosier X said,
June 7, 2008 at 21:52
My favorite:
You see, ‘whitey’ is such an awful terrible slur, so offensive, so over-the-line, and so hurtful to white people, that the poster has to explain what it means!
If Michelle Obama has never said ‘whitey’ in her life, these people have now given her every right to say it whenever she wants.
Jim said,
June 7, 2008 at 21:52
Would it talk, like the one on the teevee?
If so, yes. I’ve always wanted a talking statute in the New York Harbor.
tb said,
June 7, 2008 at 21:57
Really! Granite-headed? I always thought he looked more like a giant slab of loosely-draped jowel with a hamburger patty shaped toupee, sphincter-like eyes and a bitchy little mustache.
jcricket said,
June 7, 2008 at 21:59
it lessens the formal class of the White House
Yeah. The current occupant who talks with his mouth full of dinner roll has done such a bang-up job of preserving that.
Jrod said,
June 7, 2008 at 21:59
Sounds good to me. No collard greens or chitlins for me, though.
I’ll try the ham hocks, but no promises.
I can’t be the only pasty white motherfucker who loves fried chicken and watermelon.
Hoosier X said,
June 7, 2008 at 22:02
I assume it will say, “Die, Whitey, Die!!”
Wouldn’t you?
jcricket said,
June 7, 2008 at 22:03
Count me as another pasty white American for fried chicken and watermelon.
There are many PWA’s for fried chicken and watermelon. We are legion.
Davis said,
June 7, 2008 at 22:04
Well, which is it? They’re ghetto gangstas who will trash the White House, all the while eating watermelon, or latte sipping elitists from the Ivy League? It’s so hard to follow.
Blue Buddha said,
June 7, 2008 at 22:06
“Give me yo’ tie-ed, yo’ po’, yo’ huddled masses yurnin’ to breeve free, so I can lif’ mah lamp of syrupy goodness to th’ golden waffle. Mmmm-hm!”
tigrismus said,
June 7, 2008 at 22:06
To add to what jcricket said, may I present this. NSFW, wait 3 hours before eating, etc.
c said,
June 7, 2008 at 22:10
“Next you are going to see southern fried chicken, black-eyed peas, corn bread, and watermelon as your daily meal.”
Maybe some nice greens? Sweet potato pie? This is sounding better all the time.
not even an mba said,
June 7, 2008 at 22:10
M-Fer, big girl like me, ‘gwine need lossa iced tea
Prospero said,
June 7, 2008 at 22:12
Uhh, they don’t like it when black people hug, either.
not even an mba said,
June 7, 2008 at 22:16
or collard greens or whatever the hell they serve.
tigrismus said,
June 7, 2008 at 22:23
On Monday Zoeller, the 1979 Masters champion, apologized. “My comments were not intended to be racially derogatory, and I apologize for the fact that they were misconstrued in that fashion,” the 45-year-old golfer said.
Then he gave Woods a jockey costume as a gesture of goodwill.
not even an mba said,
June 7, 2008 at 22:23
WTF?! Okay, know that MJ Stephey actually got paid to write
Wonder Twins.
not even an mba said,
June 7, 2008 at 22:28
Geez, tigrismus I think I actually pulled something there laughing.
Perhaps we can hope that unleashing racism against extremely popular men of mixed heritage does the same for a person’s career as it did for Zoeller’s.
not even an mba said,
June 7, 2008 at 22:43
I don’t get what the fuss is all about. It’s not like he’s trying to appear hip since fist bump is out man.
Sarcastro said,
June 7, 2008 at 22:44
Shorter everybody on the right:
“Are you berserk? Can’t you see that man is a ni?”
terrorist fist hijabs™²³®© said,
June 7, 2008 at 22:47
Pump the Music
not even an mba said,
June 7, 2008 at 22:55
Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Nappiness
Jennifer said,
June 7, 2008 at 22:59
Gee, my idea for Obama to deliver the SOTU address each year in a different racist stereotype get-up is beginning to seem more and more prescient.
Prospero said,
June 7, 2008 at 22:59
We want… a shrubbery!
not even an mba said,
June 7, 2008 at 23:05
Another wonder opportunity to remind folks that his opponent is that ordinary folks-paragon of the people, John Sidney McCain the Third, or JiSM3 as I’m now calling him.
Tom said,
June 7, 2008 at 23:07
I just have to say the comments on this site are the funniest on any blog I have ever read. I love reading here. Compare and contrast - comments on this blog to comments on any right-wing blog.
christian h. said,
June 7, 2008 at 23:15
Graffiti on Airforce One? Now that would be great. I nice, big, anarchist “A” would go a long way towards making me happy.
Conservative White Guy said,
June 7, 2008 at 23:20
Yep… next thing you know the young kids will be dancing to that rock and roll that all the darkies like.
Snorghagen said,
June 7, 2008 at 23:23
They’re atheist Muslim communist elitist watermelon-eating gangstas who are gutlessly ruthless.
Tom said,
June 7, 2008 at 23:31
Are you sure? I thought they were ruthlessly gutless?!
Just checked… damn… my wife ate the last of the watermelon.
terrorist fist hijabs™²³®© said,
June 7, 2008 at 23:35
Next thing you know, the obamasexuals will by rutting gothically in the streets.
not even an mba said,
June 7, 2008 at 23:37
Ruthlessly gutless or gutlessly ruthless, they are still the worst kind of cowards. The ones with no fear.
stryx said,
June 7, 2008 at 23:39
John Sidney McCain the Third,
aka Jizzle Sizzle MC Trey
or, as noted, just Jizz for short
not even an mba said,
June 7, 2008 at 23:42
JiSM 3: Back in Training
Satan's Dirty Underwear said,
June 7, 2008 at 23:43
They do have a point. Consider how badly it will reflect on America when, at a state dinner, Robert Mugabe yells out “Get me some fucking iced tea motherfucker.”
PeeJ said,
June 7, 2008 at 23:46
Oh the ignominy! There will be WHITES waiting table for niggers! Our culture is doooooooomed.
cocktailhag said,
June 7, 2008 at 23:54
JISM3? Only in McCain’s (not so wet) dreams. That old coot’s gun’s been out of pellets since at least Bush I.
Comrade Rutherford said,
June 7, 2008 at 23:58
“I’m still shocked that people like this actually exist (racist bogits). Why hasn’t John McCain and NRO denounced and rejected them yet? ”
Because they are the GOP base- racist, classist, religious bigots that hate everything all day long every day. This 20% has America hostage, their viewpoint is the only view allowed on TV, where Bush as never done wrong, and all Dems are traitors that deserve gruesome death (get ready, rednecks, President-For-Life Cheney will be issuing his ‘Kristalnacht’ orders between November and January, shortly after he orders Acting-President Bush to unilaterally invade Iran.
fishbane said,
June 7, 2008 at 23:59
I’m waiting with bated breath (baited breadth?) for K-Lo to come out against all that butt patting in football. Wait, that’s cultural, sort of like how open container laws don’t apply to Bloomberg, but do at corner bars? My bad.
If Barack HUSSEIN Obama is elected, the Statue of Libery will be replaced by a giant replica of Aunt Jemima.
Actually, that would be the best piece of guerrilla art, evar. Where’s Banksy?
mikey said,
June 8, 2008 at 0:01
Oh my. It only took one day after Obama became the nominee for the real straight up racial hatred to begin to reveal itself. No more code words and dogwhistles, no sir, those are for those weasily namby-pambies on the TV news. We’re breaking out all the names, all the stereotypes, all the shit we perfected under Jim Crow. Oh goody.
Y’know, I’m pretty sure McCain’s campaign believes wholeheartedly that it is precisely this kind of virulent ignorance that will get him elected. He’ll have to walk a fine line, but we’ll see him finding myriad ways to support and encourage these knuckle-dragging redneck motherfuckers.
At the first debate, Obama goes first, using his two minutes to answer the first question. When it comes to McCain, he merely takes a bucket and sponge out from behind his podium, walks over to Obama, sets it down and says disdainfully “wash my car, boy” and strides off the stage.
You watch…
mikey
PeeJ said,
June 8, 2008 at 0:01
Hag: He may have shot his final wad long ago but he’s been collecting Rove’s and Bush’s for years now. I’m sure he’s got a large reservoir.
left-wing hyper-liberals™²³®© said,
June 8, 2008 at 0:06
PeeJ said,
June 8, 2008 at 0:01
Hag: He may have shot his final wad long ago but he’s been collecting Rove’s and Bush’s for years now. I’m sure he’s got a large reservoir.
Icky! So who’s got the bigger collection, McSame of Holy Joe Liarman?
left-wing hyper-liberals™²³®© said,
June 8, 2008 at 0:06
Um, or. or Oar.
P.S. (a)bated breath.
stryx said,
June 8, 2008 at 0:07
Barry X, January, 2009:
So the concept is this, basically: The whole black nation has to be put together as a black army and we’re going to walk on this nation. We’re going to walk on this racist power structure. And we’re going to say to the whole damn government, ´´Stick ‘em up, motherfucker. This is a hold-up! We come for what’s ours!”
fishbane said,
June 8, 2008 at 0:08
He may have shot his final wad long ago but he’s been collecting Rove’s and Bush’s for years now. I’m sure he’s got a large reservoir.
This is probably obscure, but there’s a scene in _Complicity_ by Ian Banks that came to mind here… shudder.
Raznor said,
June 8, 2008 at 0:12
That sounds AWESOME!
Also:
Ooh, me too. That would rock so hard! It would be the greatest use of the White House front lawn since Teddy Roosevelt challenged all comers to bare knuckle boxing!
stryx said,
June 8, 2008 at 0:13
Barry X, First address to the Nation:
Explaining 10 things he’s like to accomplish.
cocktailhag said,
June 8, 2008 at 0:16
PeeJ, LWHL, and fishbane… There’s an award we have over at UT; we call it the HurlCheck. Y’all get to split the prize three ways, while I try not to contemplate Holy Joe and the Cancerous Coot wiping their chins.
J Edgar said,
June 8, 2008 at 0:19
From the Time magazine link:
The origins of the bump are murky, though most communication experts agree on …
If I was a communications expert I think the origins of the bump would be really, really low on my … Wait a minute, I read the rest of that article. They interviewed communications majors, not experts. Wonder Twins, my ass.
Comrade Rutherford said,
June 8, 2008 at 0:23
“Your post proves you are racist against white people, as I’m sure someone will soon point out.”
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhahahahahahahahahahaha!
(breath)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHahahahahahahahahahahah!
Roy Edroso, dumbest person in the world?
***********************
c said-
“Sweet potato pie?”
No, bean pie, apparently. McCain supporter Larry Johnson has photos of Michele Obama in the same room as Mrs. Farrakhan, proving for all time that Senator Obama is controlled by the Nation of Islam.
And for those that don’t know, the Nation of Islam, in suits with bow ties, hawk their wares at the traffic light at the foot of the Brooklyn Bridge, The Final Call and bean pies…
******
JiSM 3
Phew!
Mauro said,
June 8, 2008 at 0:25
Hi, I’m a right-winger. I’m smart! I make mountains out of holes when there aren’t any molehills. I think Obama’s an Arab, and we’re fighting Arabs out in Iran, so we shouldn’t elect him as president; also, he’s a member of a black gang, since he’s black. What? You say the dominant ethnicity of Iran isn’t Arab? That is a Hezbollah-style comment, a Hamas-appeasing comment. I’m a right-winger; facts are of no consequence to me. Also, completely irrelevant and inconsequential things are of great consequence to me. And black people should never have power over white people, because that always leads to major disaster — you saw what happened with Kofi Annan. If Obama wins, I’m moving to the Bahamas, where there aren’t any black people.
Heil Bush!
Arakasi said,
June 8, 2008 at 0:25
Gee, my idea for Obama to deliver the SOTU address each year in a different racist stereotype get-up is beginning to seem more and more prescient.
Naw… What Obama needs to do is stand up before the nation and give the STFU address.
If he does that, I’ll be the first in line to call for the repeal of the 22nd Ammendment so we can elect him “President for Life”
Nylund said,
June 8, 2008 at 0:27
It was already confusing with the whole “Obama is a muslim vs. Obama is a scary black Christian!” and now we gotta deal with , “Obama the jambon-buying elitist vs. Obama the black guy who fist pumps his ghetto queen”.
And I thought the dems were torn! The GOP really needs to get on the same page when it comes to their crazy wingnut internet memes.
And poor Pammy Atlas, always the bridesmaid, never the bride, totally out of the loop trying to prove that Obama actually isn’t even black at all (still on the muslim/arab thing) and has nothing in common with real African Americans.
tigrismus said,
June 8, 2008 at 0:29
It is more evidence of the penetration and corruption of our dominant culture by the minority.
That is so HOT.
Joe Max said,
June 8, 2008 at 0:31
Of course. Our presidents should use proper and dignified hand gestures at all times in public, like George Bush:
http://www.thebirdman.org/Index/Others/Others-Doc-ConspiracyTheory&NWO/+Doc-ConspiracyTheory-NWOSymbols&Signatures/DoesBushMakeSatanicSigns.htm
And always refrain from vulgar expressions of greeting:
http://meaningfuldistractions.files.wordpress.com/2008/05/bushchest1.jpg?w=450&h=311
pokeybob said,
June 8, 2008 at 0:31
I want to thank all of you for the laughs. I read the right wings blogs and just get depressed. But here I get to spew my chocolate milk all over the keyboard and screen. Again…thanks a heap.
tigrismus said,
June 8, 2008 at 0:32
Comrade Rutherford, sarcasm is always what’s for dinner at Roy’s place.
Bobby said,
June 8, 2008 at 0:33
How does someone write angrily about a “racist mullato[sic]” and not die laughing at themselves?
Joe Max said,
June 8, 2008 at 0:41
“Naw, man that was about Whitey DeLuca, our ex-manager. He burned us for fifty g’s! And he weren’t even really white, he was like Italian or some shit… I mean, do I look like the kinda mo’fo that would kill a whole lotta white people?!?”
El Cid said,
June 8, 2008 at 0:42
I think we should encourage right wing “citizen journalists” to expose the massive anti-white racism of the Obama campaign by going undercover and following them in blackface.
ortho-bob said,
June 8, 2008 at 0:47
I dunno about you guys, but I think we’re in for a fun few months if this is the kind of tepid poop the wingnut monkeys are flinging.
And I like both collard greens and arugula.
fishbane said,
June 8, 2008 at 0:48
PeeJ, LWHL, and fishbane… There’s an award we have over at UT; we call it the HurlCheck. Y’all get to split the prize three ways, while I try not to contemplate Holy Joe and the Cancerous Coot wiping their chins.
Thank you for the honor (and is that U Texas, or one of the U. TNs? I’ve got a pall in the latter, humping for tenure), but I think your contemplation is off. See, they use those yoga tongue scraper things, repurposed, and a special little jar. Because every drop is special. Like a snowflake. Surely you wouldn’t just shovel snowflakes, given how special they are, would you?
cocktailhag said,
June 8, 2008 at 0:57
fishbane…
UT is Glenn Greenwald’s blog at Salon, the only place where I’m much more than a lurker.
I just started showing up here after my great and infamous evening with Gavin, Marita, et al here in Portland.
Yoga scraper? That’s even gnarlier than your last prize winner, and equally vivid. Once the jar gets full, do they get out a turkey baster? Mary Cheney and the Park Ranger may be ready for another bundle of joy.
Dough Hammer's Anvil said,
June 8, 2008 at 0:57
“And I like both collard greens and arugula.”
Racist!1!! Also Cleopatra was white, South Africa would have turned out just fine without sanctions and MLK would have voted for Ronald Reagan. Why? Shut up that’s why! Yet more proof that Hippies, in voting for a Black candidate, are the true racists.
Lesley said,
June 8, 2008 at 1:07
Meanwhile, Ann Althouse ,not so subtly, defends Mark’s Steyn’s right to be an asshole.
PeeJ said,
June 8, 2008 at 1:10
MLK would have voted for Ronald Reagan.
Heh. SubHuman Events is pushing the Black Republican Ass’n. (aka Uncle Tom Society) campaign to remind people that ZOMG! MLK was a Republican!
It’s too whacky for words really and the level of desperation is awesomely amusing. …. Apparently it was purely an email thing so no linky, sorry.
PeeJ said,
June 8, 2008 at 1:14
First time I ever read comments over there at Anne’s AltRealityHaus.
Love this one from AllenS:
Isn’t that precious? How often do people call you racist, AllenS? Ever wonder why? Nah, of course you don’t.
Doctorb said,
June 8, 2008 at 1:15
Cleopatra was a Ptolemy, which is to say a highly-inbred Macedonian.
Ann Althouse said,
June 8, 2008 at 1:17
I’m a popular topic here, PeeJ.
It’s all about meeeee…..
fishbane said,
June 8, 2008 at 1:21
Oh, that UT. Sorry. I’ve been poisoned by academics, clearly.
Don’t get me started on the… interesting… things new agers do. Working at a magazine devoted to their enlightened lifestyle left me privy to enough details to send me to NYC and smoke more.
When the jar gets full, I suspect they breed off another round of talking heads, but I can’t prove that. I would encourage anyone with knowledge of Ben Stein’s parent’s proclivities to please step up. Or his parents, or zombie parents, as the case may be. I can’t imagine they’re all that proud at the moment.
tigrismus said,
June 8, 2008 at 1:23
campaign to remind people that ZOMG! MLK was a Republican!
I know a guy who even at this late date refuses to celebrate MLK day because Dr King was a communist, and I know he’s not the only right wing nutter to believe that.
fishbane said,
June 8, 2008 at 1:27
It’s all about meeeee…..
Ann, we know that. The fact that you think you’re being funny just reaffirms it. I’ll invite you to an intellectually interesting debate when you promise not to run away crying again.
site slicing said,
June 8, 2008 at 1:27
Thanks for the information.
Smut Clyde said,
June 8, 2008 at 1:32
If Barack HUSSEIN Obama is elected, the Statue of Libery will be replaced by a giant replica of Aunt Jemima.
If Zombie Chaes Oldenburg is elected, the Statue of Liberty will be replaced by a giant electric fan, while a giant gear-stick lever will take the place of Nelson’s Column in London
Woodrowfan said,
June 8, 2008 at 1:33
Oh my. It only took one day after Obama became the nominee for the real straight up racial hatred to begin to reveal itself.
hell, I’m surprised it took THAT long. I took 30 minutes in the pool.
Smiling Mortician said,
June 8, 2008 at 1:34
The origins of the bump are murky
Nah. I remember it clearly. It was 1977, right before the Hustle.
Doc Washboard said,
June 8, 2008 at 1:34
fist pumps his ghetto queen
It is more evidence of the penetration and corruption of our dominant culture
This thread gets better and better.
Future Madam First Lady Obama, by the way, is kind of hot.
Smut Clyde said,
June 8, 2008 at 1:34
In that photograph at the left, Michelle Obama seems to have a ninja knife strapped to her right arm.
Some people will say that it is merely a microphone in the foreground, but we know better.
Woodrowfan said,
June 8, 2008 at 1:36
But here I get to spew my chocolate milk all over the keyboard and screen.
Not WHITE milk? Damn, it’s started already and he’s not even elected yet!
cocktailhag said,
June 8, 2008 at 1:36
Don’t worry… Being poisoned by academics couldn’t possibly be worse than being turkey-bastered out of that jar. Or worse yet, being the Hell-spawn of such genetic malpractice. Whose fetid squirt do you think brought forth Tom Friedman? Joe Klein? And what about poor Maureen Dowd? The mind boggles, and the HurlCheck arrow swings to “Tilt.”
Smut Clyde said,
June 8, 2008 at 1:40
It is more evidence of the penetration and corruption of our dominant culture by the minority.
When the police entered the room, our dominant culture was wearing a leather corset and fishnet stockings, and was tied face-down to a table. Later inquiries revealed that the scene was entirely consensual, and no charges were laid.
Hoosier X said,
June 8, 2008 at 1:41
Dude.
Sasha Baron Cohen should create a conservative Boratish character and do this.
I don’t see how it could be half as funny as what’s going through my head right now.
Samwise said,
June 8, 2008 at 1:42
“And I like both collard greens and arugula”
Here in the heartland we prefer freedom and iceberg.
Smiling Mortician said,
June 8, 2008 at 1:42
When the police entered the room, our dominant culture was wearing a leather corset and fishnet stockings, and was tied face-down to a table.
The minority was in the corner, pointing and laughing.
Monkay said,
June 8, 2008 at 1:43
Something I saw, which I haven’t heard anything about: Barack went for the mouth kiss, Michelle gave him the dodge-and-cheek-kiss, he looked hurt and pouty (in a totally adorable way!)
Our dominant culture said,
June 8, 2008 at 1:46
What can I say? Sometimes you just need to switch roles, unbend a bit, take a walk on the wild side.
I sincerely apologise for any embarrassment I have caused to my family and my supporters.
mikey said,
June 8, 2008 at 1:46
There are many ways to shake a hand
Across this wide and varied land
Traditional grip can seem so staid
But a variation? I’m afraid
When under pressure for many long days
People bond in various ways
Barack and Michelle are charming indeed
Their love and comitment is easy to read
Call it a fist bump or call it a dap
I call it honest, simple as that
They aren’t bush and cheney, that’s for sure
And they won’t fall apart under the attack du jour
The right wing monsters can continue to try
To recast the Obamas as some kind of lie
But if you’d like to know what I think
I’m voting Obama. Now get me a drink.
mikey
SamFromUtah said,
June 8, 2008 at 1:52
If Barack HUSSEIN Obama is elected, the Statue of Libery will be replaced by a giant replica of Aunt Jemima. Do you liberals want that?
You mean that French statue? I’d have thought a Typical Republican would be all over that.
But seriously, I’m so out of touch with these Islamofascist-gangsta hand signs that before this incident the only place I’d ever seen the word “Dap” was on a can of spackle.
Smut Clyde said,
June 8, 2008 at 1:52
In my imaginary hardback copy of Mikey’s poem, the illustrations are by Dr Suess.
g said,
June 8, 2008 at 1:58
It is more evidence of the penetration and corruption of our dominant culture by the minority. There will be a lot more of this if Obama gets into the White House.
Why next thing you know our impressionable young teenagers will be dancing the twist and that wild jitterbug dance!
goat or panic said,
June 8, 2008 at 2:03
Just for grins, here’s a picture of Bush doing the “Dap” with the pope.
http://absurddebate.blogspot.com/2007/06/fromer-nazi-youth-questions-validity-of.html
Oh, and FYI, if you do a Google image search for “Bush-fist-pound” be prepared for some very unpleasant pix.
Trabb's Boy said,
June 8, 2008 at 2:04
Mister Leonard, please tell us you’ll go to the Republican National Convention. Please?
g said,
June 8, 2008 at 2:11
Next you are going to see southern fried chicken, black-eyed peas, corn bread, and watermelon as your daily meal.
Horrors!
Such strange and peculiar food those black people eat! No white person would ever introduce such bizzare customs to our great American culture!
Righteous Bubba said,
June 8, 2008 at 2:12
The “fist bump” is just short of gang signing.
Excellent! It’s not a gang sign!
Me said,
June 8, 2008 at 2:14
If President Obama disapproves of something will he be grabbing his balls with both hands and telling people where to go?
Somebody already tried that for the past eight years.
g said,
June 8, 2008 at 2:16
It’s beyond depressing to think that there is actually a person in America who thinks fried chicken is emblematically black.
And that the “culture” of people who’ve been in this nation over 200 years, and who cooked, cleaned, cared for the babies of affluent people throughout much of that time is an “alien” culture.
It’s beyond funny, though, to think that there is actually a person in America who thinks typical white American culture HASN’T been shaped by black folks.
Smiling Mortician said,
June 8, 2008 at 2:23
Now, g. You know in your heart of hearts that Elvis came up with that sound all by his lonesome.
Me said,
June 8, 2008 at 2:27
JISM3? Only in McCain’s (not so wet) dreams. That old coot’s gun’s been out of pellets since at least Bush I.
Ahem. I’d prefer you call her Carol.
Lesley said,
June 8, 2008 at 2:28
I was hoping the end of Bush & Co would mean an end to the asinininny wingnut hysteria but it just seems to be getting weirder and worse all the time.
Will the madness never end?
mikey said,
June 8, 2008 at 2:28
…will he be grabbing his balls with both hands and telling people where to go?
Ok. I just tried this. I’m gonna take the position that if you can actually grab your balls with both hands, you need to see a doctor right away.
I mean, sure, you can use your fingertips and thumbs, but this doesn’t seem to represent the true spirit of “with both hand” and besides, you need to do it with your pants off, which I don’t think is what they had in mind here.
Hang on, I’m gonna try it a few other ways and I’ll get back to you.
Stand by…
mikey
Smiling Mortician said,
June 8, 2008 at 2:36
God help me, mikey, I’m waiting.
Smut Clyde said,
June 8, 2008 at 2:36
and who cooked, cleaned, cared for the babies of affluent people
I cn hz cookbook?
cocktailhag said,
June 8, 2008 at 2:43
I join Smiling Mortician in the Peanut Gallery to await the results of your scientific experiment, mikey.
Will you be posting the results of this undeniably worthy scientific endeavor online?
Maybe the Discovery Institute would be interested in this important Balls/Paws inquiry.
not even an mba said,
June 8, 2008 at 2:44
Actually mikey, I think I’ll stand way over here- if you don’t mind.
Smut Clyde said,
June 8, 2008 at 2:53
Do not google “elephantiasis + scrotum”. Do not go there. This is a public health advisory message.
mikey said,
June 8, 2008 at 2:58
In fact, if you google “anything” + “scrotum” you are looking for trouble.
The scrotum, while functional, much like the sherman tank and the Microsoft Access interface, is not something that should be examined in great detail.
Yeah.
Just sayin…
mikey
alec said,
June 8, 2008 at 3:02
a) You know, for the record, I honestly think crotch-grabbing is an invaluable diplomatic tool. Why haven’t we come to terms with this?
b) I’ve loved the fuck out of Obama and Clinton inadvertently exhibiting the racist/misogynist totem behaviors that these people live to catalogue among the filthy darkies/bitches. We’ve all done the damn dab, and even if we don’t make a habit of it it’s not particularly unusual; calling it a ‘gang sign’ is particularly ridiculous - and that’s not taking into account that, you know, kids these days throw around gang signs in a way that makes people of Obama’s generation uncomfortable! My little brothers do. The idea of specific ’signs’ corresponding to gangs is kind of ridiculous; it’s just another way to pretend that blacks are secretly hiding how horrible they all are, and the idea doesn’t make sense if you’re not hoping they are.
Seriously: nobody but these fucking loons cares about this kind of thing. When they start openly freaking out about it, the other 90% of the country has to come fully to terms with the fact that all of the FUD about Obama being a secret Iran-backing Muslim radical negro is, in fact, coming from lunatics who probably resent Lincoln emancipating the slaves.
If I were Obama, a major part of my campaign would be creating little tableaux like this, so the worst racists would be in continuous ablackalypse meltdown mode. And nobody would be able to even pretend in good faith that these people are anything but fucking lunatics.
A VOTE FOR OBAMA IS A VOTE FOR “RAP”!!!!!!!!!
Balloon Juice said,
June 8, 2008 at 3:09
[...] Egads. I said a long time ago, and I’ll say it again, maybe the best thing that Obama could do for the race issue is expose the festering ids that would normally stay buried if a black guy wasn’t about to become President of the freaking United States. It’s like lancing a deep festering wound to let the pus out. Eventually the haters will have had their say, and Obama will still be President, and they won’t have anything more to add to the conversation. Then the best possible resolution will come to the American race discussion as far as I’m concerned: we’ll get tired of it and talk about something else. [...]
Proteus454 said,
June 8, 2008 at 3:12
Easy, mikey. Squat. Or bend over.
not even an mba said,
June 8, 2008 at 3:13
Perhaps the two-handed crotch grab isn’t actually a grab, but instead refers to this.
And even though Trips and HBK suck for never putting anyone over, DX in the White House would be awesome.
JET said,
June 8, 2008 at 3:23
Obama’s wife is so ghetto!!! Our country will be in big trouble if he is elected!!! A video will be coming out of her telling “whitey to die”. Meaning white people! Higher taxes!!! Barack Hussein Obama??? A Muslim president??? We are fighting Muslim’s in Iraq for goodness sake!!! Come on people!
Why does this screed end in an exhortation to ejaculate on others?
D.N. Nation said,
June 8, 2008 at 3:24
This just in! http://noquarterusa.net/blog/2008/06/07/an-update-on-the-michelle-obama-rant/
Larry Johnson is now actually bathing himself in his own shit. He’s getting it in every pore, even taking a swig or seven of it.
edub said,
June 8, 2008 at 3:24
Ignorant whitey reporting in here. . .
Had no idea what dap was until I saw the entry on Urban Dictionary. I’ve been looking at Urban Dictionary a lot lately, because I’m reading Richard Price’s Lush Life. It has a lot of street cred, it’s full of cheddar and eyewits and other stuff whiteys like me gotta look up.
Anyway, main gangsta character is named. . . .Little Dap.
In other words, it’s a full circle moment.
gary rudepart said,
June 8, 2008 at 3:24
The fact is, Terrorist Fist Jab’s first album will be available shortly on the Kill Whitey label.
Larry Johnson said,
June 8, 2008 at 3:38
The fact is, I have a small penis and I poop my pants and I like to hump stumps and I’m actually a fucking idiot and they should commit me to an asylum because I eat my own feces and then fling the rest at the walls to make up for me being an incompetent, incontinent asshole freak piece of fucking shit.
tigrismus said,
June 8, 2008 at 3:40
Oh, edub, “plaguerized” is my new favorite word.
ifthethunderdontgetya™²³®© said,
June 8, 2008 at 3:40
Dr. S.C., your baby cooking secrets are here.
/Batwinged Tannenbaum Rex
mikey said,
June 8, 2008 at 3:41
Ok. Here’s a confession for y’all.
They dropped me into SVN in the spring of 1970. A lot of the really bad race horrors were behind us. We really were winding down. Fighting the NVA? Sure. Fragging each other? Less any kind of a deal. But there was still a lot of racial identity, and a lot of white guys bonding with the brothers. The “dap” was a very complex series of tightly choreographed handshaking maneuvers.
So there was I. My brain doesn’t do large scale pattern matching. I’d get it wrong every time. I could never keep the sequence straight. The cool thing was that the brothers quickly realized that I wasn’t a cracker motherfucker, I was just helpless with the whole dapping shit. So they would actually make up an abreviated version for me so I wouldn’t feel like such an ass.
And when the B40s and the mortars started falling, we were all better than friends, I can tell you that.
So dap this, mothers…
mikey
g said,
June 8, 2008 at 3:41
So using slang you hear other people using is now “palguerizm?” who knew?
Let me apologize to the original author of “the bee’s knees.”
edub said,
June 8, 2008 at 3:42
Oh, edub, “plaguerized” is my new favorite word.
Is that what unethical microbiology students do? At least until they’re caught by librainians?
nuxge said,
June 8, 2008 at 3:46
whites who support Obama are self-hating whites
ya heard, snowflake
Sir William said,
June 8, 2008 at 3:46
It was already confusing with the whole “Obama is a muslim vs. Obama is a scary black Christian!” and now we gotta deal with , “Obama the jambon-buying elitist vs. Obama the black guy who fist pumps his ghetto queen”.
Obama is a the Heisenberg Uncertainty Politician: you can either measure his faith in Allah, or you can measure his slavish devotion to the Black Christ, but not both at the same time.
Ripley said,
June 8, 2008 at 3:50
Don’t mess with the motherfuckin’ Apple Dumpling Gang. They’ll fuck you up.
Word to your Hezbollah mother, yo!
Djur said,
June 8, 2008 at 3:52
I want Senator Hussein X to throw the P-Funk sign. I’d be interested to see what percentage of the lunatics say it’s devil horns versus a gang sign versus a black power fist.
J— said,
June 8, 2008 at 3:55
From D.N. Nation’s link:
What a surprise.
The 527s are going to come down like rain this fall.
Rightwingsnarkle said,
June 8, 2008 at 3:55
On these matters, I depend entirely upon the astute stylin’s of teh BagNewsNotes.
Damn straight, motherfuckers. I am definitely voting for the black dude.
Oprah said,
June 8, 2008 at 3:55
I iz in ur toob-a-visio
Plaguerizing ur new car for everyone
not even an mba said,
June 8, 2008 at 3:58
I don’t know why these people can’t relate to their wives in a more respectful way.
Some Guy said,
June 8, 2008 at 4:06
“A video will be coming out of her telling “whitey to die”. Meaning white people!”
So.
Many many years ago.
There was a Doonesbury story arc. About a young, sheltered white kid attending a mostly-black school. A local black school ass-hat gives him a hard time, and, in a fit of flustered frustration, the white kids lashes out, “Why you… you… HONKY!” Then proceeds to double check his notes his mother gave him to see if he had done the insult right.
Wingnuts: you are that white kid.
How is Bush meeting with world leaders by slumping and splaying out on his chair, legs spread wide like he’s vegging at home watching the Big Game in nothing but sweat pants and a stained wife beater, somehow not embarrassing to these people?
“Let’s not forget what Obama’s middle name is, funny thing, he never wants to use his middle name on his campaign. (“hoooch71”)”
Like every president before him has, nigh but hinging their entire campaign and platform on their middle names.
This would be funny if it wasn’t so sad.
stryx said,
June 8, 2008 at 4:07
I can’t wait until Obama’s speech on the last night of the Democratic Convention, when he finishes his acceptance speech with the phrase, ‘America, what set you claimin’?’ at which point the crowd goes wild and begins chanting What set you claimin’? What set you claimin? for the rest of the night.
Good times…
MrSparkle said,
June 8, 2008 at 4:08
Wow, these wingnuts have really sunk to the point where they are growing an entire field of straw for the sole purpose of grasping at it to spout non-troversies on Obama.
Why are we afraid of these clowns again?
tigrismus said,
June 8, 2008 at 4:12
Is that what unethical microbiology students do? At least until they’re caught by librainians?
That reminds me, I’ve always wanted an old timey nephrology head.
not even an mba said,
June 8, 2008 at 4:13
My lesson for the day, from Donnie O. Old Europe and the Islamo-leftists are no longer a threat.
I mean seriously, Korea? Well, I guess Donnie was trying to put together the conclusive list, but he forgot Poland.
Snorghagen said,
June 8, 2008 at 4:18
No, it is a gang sign. It’s just a gang sign for short gangs. Midget bikers, dwarf thugs, that sort of thing.
Smut Clyde said,
June 8, 2008 at 4:18
they are growing an entire field of straw for the sole purpose of grasping at it
That’s dual-use straw, I’ll have you know. Yes, in its civilian role it can be grasped at, or used to conceal needles, but in unscrupulous hands it can easily be weaponised and used for breaking the backs of camels.
Hoosier X said,
June 8, 2008 at 4:19
‘Cause they “win”?
tigrismus said,
June 8, 2008 at 4:19
“A video will be coming out of her telling “whitey to die”. Meaning white people!”
Oh Lord, Obama’s sunk! You remember what happened when it became known that Bush’s wife had actually killed a white guy? GAME OVER
Smut Clyde said,
June 8, 2008 at 4:22
It’s just a gang sign for short gangs. Midget bikers, dwarf thugs, that sort of thing.
Documentary proof.
not even an mba said,
June 8, 2008 at 4:23
Smut Clyde,
I also hear tell that some of that there straw is destined to be fashioned into the shape of men. Perhaps we should gather round the villagers, for that sounds like messing in the realm of unnatural syllogism.
jeff said,
June 8, 2008 at 4:25
It is more evidence of the penetration and corruption of our dominant culture by the minority. There will be a lot more of this if Obama gets into the White House. (“Ffranco”)
Is this poster naming himself after Fransico Franco???????
Anne Laurie said,
June 8, 2008 at 4:30
Of course I really doubt the people worrying about the dap or uh “gang signs” were worried that Bush would put steer horns on Limo One.
Oh, those people will be all over Bush’s post-Presidential ride — the “ranch” pickup with the giant vinyl trailer-hitch ‘nads (still legal in Florida!)…
Emblazened with the Presidential seal, of course!
Hey, the half-billion-dollar “Bush Lie-berry” is hardly going to pay its maintenance fees of the sales of written materials in the souvenir shop, right?
Alkali Bill said,
June 8, 2008 at 4:45
Mulatto? Are you sure? Perhaps they are octaroons.
Brandi said,
June 8, 2008 at 4:45
Such strange and peculiar food those black people eat! No white person would ever introduce such bizzare customs to our great American culture!
“[Watermelon] is the chief of this world’s luxuries, king by the grace of God over all the fruits of the earth. When one has tasted it, he knows what the angels eat. It was not a Southern watermelon that Eve took; we know it because she repented.”
– Mark Twain, stealth Negro.
Meanwhile, Out West™²³®© said,
June 8, 2008 at 4:46
Hey, the half-billion-dollar “Bush Lie-berry” is hardly going to pay its maintenance fees of the sales of written materials in the souvenir shop, right?
Don’t worry, Anne.
There’ll be hot pepper sauces, chili recipes, weed clearing tools for one’s “ranch”, and of course, wingnut welfare.
stryx said,
June 8, 2008 at 4:53
We’re afraid of some little hand gesture, when just this week we had documentary evidence of Bush and his obscure gang signs?
The J Train said,
June 8, 2008 at 4:56
It’s a little known fact that Obama has been both a Crip and a Blood, as well as a Warrior, a Latin King, and a Newsie.
Rightwingsnarkle said,
June 8, 2008 at 4:57
I mean seriously, Korea?
Hey, man, never underestimate kimchee.
stryx said,
June 8, 2008 at 5:02
a Southern watermelon
The other day I think it was Righteous Bubba who brought up Cormac McCarthy’s Sutree. The glorious sun-ripened watermelon plays a pivotal role in the love life of one of the central (white) characters.
John O said,
June 8, 2008 at 5:06
Busted by the “spam checking system” at S,N?!!!!!
Damn. It was good post about how I think M. Obama may, indeed, have said something that could be construed as anti-white, even if doctored or irrelevant. Just a personal guess.
And how I think assuming the best is naive. And about how I would be just like her if I was a private black person my entire life.
Damn. C’mon, Master L.P., I sure would like it if you could dig it out. I spent a fair amount of time on it, and the rejection was a first.
John O said,
June 8, 2008 at 5:10
It was ’bout how having a spouse strong enough not to go all Stepford on me is a plus.
It was about the folly of minimizing the racist vote the GOP will depend on this fall.
It was about the modern age, where every damn thing was taped someplace.
It was, to the best of my very limited ability, prescient and brilliant, and it ended with, “I hope I’m wrong.”
Fox News Correspondent E.D. Hill Refers to Barack and Michelle Obama's Terrorist Fist Jab | Popehat said,
June 8, 2008 at 5:11
[...] to add: Sadly, No has a good roundup of the batshit insane reactions to the fist-bump. It’s like the hysteria [...]
Meanwhile, Out West™²³®© said,
June 8, 2008 at 5:12
ctrl c before submitting, John O.
Wordpress is in league with the Sith Lord Cheney.
John O said,
June 8, 2008 at 5:17
Well, thanks M,OW.
There wasn’t anything obscene in it, I swear. Unless you consider the words, “Larry Johnson” obscene.
I gotta say I was shocked, and as everyone knows who has ever had anything lost on a computer, pissed off and disappointed.
Ctrl c? What’s that all about?
Meanwhile, Out West™²³®© said,
June 8, 2008 at 5:18
ctrl-a selects all your text.
ctrl-c pastes it all into memory
ctrl-v pastes whats in memory back
——————–
ctrl-a selects all your text.
ctrl-c pastes it all into memory
ctrl-v pastes whats in memory back
——————–
John O said,
June 8, 2008 at 5:20
Thanks, M,OW. I knew all that.
I had just never had it happen to me here, or anywhere else, for that matter.
Lazy, I guess.
g said,
June 8, 2008 at 5:23
Wordpress bites
John O said,
June 8, 2008 at 5:26
Well, based on what I’ve seen so far, Barack will be ready for it if it exists, and will do a good job diffusing it.
As best he can given the 5 month news cycle the alleged quote will get. Media Man is whitey, too.
John O said,
June 8, 2008 at 5:29
Heck, why wouldn’t you sit on it if you had it?
I would save it like a trump card in a poker game. If I was an atheist political hack-whore for The Man.
Hoosier X said,
June 8, 2008 at 5:32
We could call this the campaign season when conservatives discovered political correctness … IF they hadn’t gotten their panties in a twist .. when it suited them … over so much trivial nonsense since … 1992? 1980? 1964?
Rightwingsnarkle said,
June 8, 2008 at 5:57
John McCain is so seriously fucked.
It’s not profound, but it’s true.
centaur said,
June 8, 2008 at 6:35
Sir William: Obama is a the Heisenberg Uncertainty Politician
pure genius.
Michael said,
June 8, 2008 at 6:37
“we all know that Barack and Michelle Obama are low-class ignorant ghetto gangstas”… if you’re kidding about this, you really need to work on the delivery. This is my first time reading here so I have no idea what you’re all about.
Righteous Bubba said,
June 8, 2008 at 6:46
if you’re kidding about this, you really need to work on the delivery. This is my first time reading here so I have no idea what you’re all about.
I visit the “about” pages of places to find out what they’re about.
g said,
June 8, 2008 at 6:49
“we all know that Barack and Michelle Obama are low-class ignorant ghetto gangstas”…
who like arugula.
Libertarius ShadowLord said,
June 8, 2008 at 6:53
perhaps the wingtards will be happier, if when Obama and McCain do a town hall tour, they symbolically clink neck-chains.
Righteous Bubba said,
June 8, 2008 at 6:55
I pity the fool that don’t pity the fool.
Righteous Bubba said,
June 8, 2008 at 7:01
Isn’t anybody here outraged? The man PUNCHED HIS WIFE RIGHT IN THE FIST!
Rightwingsnarkle said,
June 8, 2008 at 7:09
kid oakland, my favorite big orange satanist, shows us why John McCain is so seriously fucked.
henry lewis said,
June 8, 2008 at 7:16
John and Cindy should counter with a dosey-doh.
Jim said,
June 8, 2008 at 7:21
Did I read right?
Did someone propose that a putative President Obama hold a Fishbone concert on the White House lawn?
That would be swell. With a giant inflatable Aunt Jemima.
skylights said,
June 8, 2008 at 7:33
Wow. This can’t even be satirized. The right wing has already told all the funny, ironic jokes, except they’re serious, and they’re not being ironic.
Candy said,
June 8, 2008 at 7:37
Next you are going to see southern fried chicken, black-eyed peas, corn bread, and watermelon as your daily meal.”
Maybe some nice greens? Sweet potato pie? This is sounding better all the time.
And homemade biscuits? Please? And potato salad. And ribs! Don’t forget ribs!
You know, except for the collard greens, black eyed peas and sweet potato pie (we do punkin’ pie in Teh Upper Midwest) this is exactly the kind of food I grew up eating. My mom made the best fried chicken, biscuits, and mashed potatoes and gravy, with strong, sweet ice tea to wash it all down. Our family is just about the white white whitey white whitest bunch of Irish-Americans you ever saw. These wingnuts are eejits. Scary racist eejits, but eejits nonetheless, and they deserve our mockery.
Damn, I’m hungry. Soooooo hungry.
Hey! When the Obamas join up with the Reconquista movement and the Islamofascists, we can haz lots of good Mexican food and Middle Eastern fare in Teh Black House. I for one welcome our Islamomexiafrican overlords.
Smut Clyde said,
June 8, 2008 at 7:45
I’ve always wanted a talking statute in the New York Harbor.
It would complain endlessly about its limitations.
g said,
June 8, 2008 at 8:08
Hey! When the Obamas join up with the Reconquista movement and the Islamofascists, we can haz lots of good Mexican food and Middle Eastern fare in Teh Black House. I for one welcome our Islamomexiafrican overlords.
Mmmmm! Hummus tacos with chitlins!
Snorghagen said,