5
We’re Here To Halp
With the news that Barack Obama’s the certain nominee, Doughy Pantload remembers he has a score to settle:
Question For Derb [Jonah Goldberg]
So…when exactly is Al Gore parachuting in to seize the nomination?
Above: Fucking gloats. Also fucks goats.
Zing! You can practically see the semi-masticated Cheetos spittle landing in Derbyshire’s face with that one. Derb rather sourly replies:
Re: Question for Derb [John Derbyshire]
[Sigh] Around about the time Ron Paul sweeps the GOP convention.
Hey, the Dems had a plain choice. They could nominate a guy who’d sweep 48 states in November, or they could nominate a loser. They nominated a loser. Is that my fault? I just underestimated the stupidity of Democrats.
Now I’m off to the archives to see how some of your prognostications turned out, Mister Infallible.
Not the most graceful or intelligent riposte there, Derb. But that’s ok. Try this next time:
Anyway, I do think my judgment is superior to [Professor Juan Cole's] when it comes to the big picture. So, I have an idea: Since he doesn’t want to debate anything except his own brilliance, let’s make a bet. I predict that Iraq won’t have a civil war, that it will have a viable constitution, and that a majority of Iraqis and Americans will, in two years time, agree that the war was worth it. I’ll bet $1,000 (which I can hardly spare right now). This way neither of us can hide behind clever word play or CV reading. If there’s another reasonable wager Cole wants to offer which would measure our judgment, I’m all ears. Money where your mouth is, doc.
henry lewis said,
June 5, 2008 at 17:22
So what did Professor Cole do with his thousand bucks?
DragonScholar said,
June 5, 2008 at 17:23
Again, you think these people would remember that this stuff is on the internet and easily locatable . . .
mat said,
June 5, 2008 at 17:24
Did Fatso ever fork over the dime to Prof. Cole?
F. Jardim said,
June 5, 2008 at 17:28
It’s amazing how terrified conservatives are of facing Obama. They even momentarily forgot their loathing of Hillary Clinto to try and be spared from his Muslim Christian Black Panther Commie mojo.
Al Gore is not and never was an electoral juggernault, for all of his virtues. Derb’s briar patch strategy was so transparent that it’s a wonder he holds an academic title. It borders on “Gee, I sure hope my rival doesn1t use a VW Beetle for our next dragster race! That’d be so unexpected, it’d really give me pause, you know?”
Monty said,
June 5, 2008 at 17:31
Jonah’s judgement is superior when it comes to selecting dip. Credit where credit is due.
D.N. Nation said,
June 5, 2008 at 17:45
Derb also said Obama was “toast, toast, toast” after the race speech.
How the fuck is Obama a “loser”?
Susan of Texas said,
June 5, 2008 at 17:46
Of course Jonah never paid off. That would be admitting that Lucianne was wrong and he wasn’t the most wonderfully special little boy in the world, by virture of his superior genes..
not even an mba said,
June 5, 2008 at 17:53
Amazingly, that second Jonah quote is cut-off in such a way to make him look less like a dick. Let’s go to the tape:
Nice to see that Goldberg touch of class.
Tom65 said,
June 5, 2008 at 17:54
You have to love it when two idiots who have never gotten a damn thing right in their lives start needling the other about their lack of foresight. These two are not exactly burdened with self-awareness.
OneMadClown said,
June 5, 2008 at 17:56
That would be admitting that Lucianne was wrong and he wasn’t the most wonderfully special little boy in the world, by virture of his superior genes..
Close, Susan – Lucianne told him that it was by virtue of his superior jeans. Huskies are nigh indestructable.
rickm said,
June 5, 2008 at 17:57
In Derb’s defense, his books on Mathematics are awesome. Goldberg’s HIStories, not so much.
OneMadClown said,
June 5, 2008 at 17:58
Nice to see that Goldberg touch ton of class ass.
Fixeded.
OneMadClown said,
June 5, 2008 at 18:00
dammit, strikethrough works in preview…wordpress ate my fat joke.
Je support les troops said,
June 5, 2008 at 18:01
Christ – has it been 3+ years already since the Juan Cole/Jonah G. dust up?
OTB said,
June 5, 2008 at 18:05
Ha ha ha! Thanks for the reminder. Jonah, you’re a fat, lying, emasculated, mommy-molested, emotionally stunted, craven, depraved, tit-sucking, pussy-whipped, stupid, incurious, intellectually barren, ugly sack of neocon shit. Suck. On. This.
jim said,
June 5, 2008 at 18:08
Cole had too much decency to make wagers on others’ lives.
Goldberg has too little humanity not to.
So, when are the GOP going to announce that they’re parachuting in Bob Dole to seize the nomination?
Can’t let some brash youngster like Johnny Maverick run with it, after all.
Susan of Texas said,
June 5, 2008 at 18:08
Three years that Jonah spent writing his intellectual masterpiece. Why should he let being wrong interfere with his brilliant career?
HTML Mencken said,
June 5, 2008 at 18:10
wordpress ate my fat joke
You say wordpress, I say Ampersand; perhaps we’re both right.
tigrismus said,
June 5, 2008 at 18:13
You have to love it when two idiots who have never gotten a damn thing right in their lives start needling the other about their lack of foresight.
They both had circumvisions.
SamFromUtah said,
June 5, 2008 at 18:20
You have to love it when two idiots who have never gotten a damn thing right in their lives start needling the other about their lack of foresight.
I wonder if this kind of thing is going to happen more often as the older, smarter generation of righties like Bill Buckley dies off. The youngsters aren’t smart enough not to point at the elephants in the room e.g. “we’re all a bunch of hypocritical liars” sort of thing, without the firm controlling spanks of the elders.
I know Derb isn’t exactly a youngster, central to my point, etc.
PS said,
June 5, 2008 at 18:24
tigrismus (18:13) rules
Crissa said,
June 5, 2008 at 18:25
Is this where we get jokes about Ron Paul supporters sitting around the table wondering what they did wrong. Then someone walks in and asks, “Did you remember to vote?” So one replies, “Vote? One vote wouldn’t matter.”
D.N. Nation said,
June 5, 2008 at 18:46
It’s amusing when noted racists like Derb and Glenn Reynolds pretend their opinion on Obama matters to people. Racists…not supporting a black candidate! Wow, I’m shocked.
The STRIKE tag said,
June 5, 2008 at 18:49
Use me!TKK said,
June 5, 2008 at 18:54
Thank you, Strike Tag. I am sexually aroused by you grateful for the information.
TKK said,
June 5, 2008 at 18:54
Okay, so why didn’t it work? Is it not ?
Gilmore said,
June 5, 2008 at 18:55
It’s spelled ‘hjalp’. As in ‘HJALP JA JA IN DER TOILET!’ Please respect this in the future.
Righteous Bubba said,
June 5, 2008 at 18:55
You’re a doofus HAHA!Good try there, TKK.TKK said,
June 5, 2008 at 19:01
“Thanks” for the “compliment,” Righteous Bubba.
(the sarcasm quotes still work)
pedestrian said,
June 5, 2008 at 19:02
Racists…not supporting a black candidate! Wow, I’m shocked
My mother-in–law is an openly racist member of the wealthy white upper crust of Colombian society. I mean, I’ve heard her say horrible things. She is also an active member of the Conservative Party, which puts her to the right of the much-maligned Uribe. I honestly expected her to support McCain, especially because the Republicans have been so much more enthusiastic about taking on Chavez. I could have also seen her backing Hillary because of the Clinton name. To my shock she is an enthusiastic Obamabot. She thinks that electing a black man would help America to “get over it’s racism”. Wonders never cease.
Righteous Bubba said,
June 5, 2008 at 19:05
Use “strike” for strikethough. It’ll work.
aimai said,
June 5, 2008 at 19:06
Pedestrian,
after picking myself up off the floor from gilmore’s “hjapl ja ja in der toilet” post I fell back down after reading yours. What a fantastic piece of news.
aimai
TKK said,
June 5, 2008 at 19:08
The
tag.Yes?
TKK said,
June 5, 2008 at 19:09
Oh God it worked. I feel
totally fulfilledslightly less embarrassed now!FOADThank you, Righteous Bubba!J— said,
June 5, 2008 at 19:10
You think strike is fickle, try underline.
Righteous Bubba said,
June 5, 2008 at 19:11
To my shock she is an enthusiastic Obamabot.
I beep with joy.
Righteous Bubba said,
June 5, 2008 at 19:14
Always there to
kick you when you’re downhelp.I need therapy.Have a good one.Principal Blackman said,
June 5, 2008 at 19:16
Wait, who did Derb think was going to “sweep 48 states?” Hillary or Gore?
Principal Blackman said,
June 5, 2008 at 19:20
Wait, who did Derb think was going to “sweep 48 states?” Hillary or Gore?
Har! I just re-read the quote and saw that he was talking about “a guy” who would sweep 48 states. That answers my question.
Albatross said,
June 5, 2008 at 19:45
>hey could nominate a guy who’d sweep 48 states in November
So nobody has told John Derbyshire that Clinton is female?
not even an mba said,
June 5, 2008 at 19:46
Frailty, thy name is Wordpress!!!pi!
not even an mba said,
June 5, 2008 at 19:47
Damn.
ForgotI meant to leavestrikeout.P.S.
strikeis ridiculously fun to type!not even an mba said,
June 5, 2008 at 19:51
Whoah. I wonder what else works>
PENIS
P.S. typing PENIS is ridculously fun.
not even an mba said,
June 5, 2008 at 19:52
ARRRGGHHH.
So button and big both show in the preview but Wordpress eats them.
tigrismus said,
June 5, 2008 at 19:56
MBA, were you trying to use technology to embiggen your penis, in public even? FOR SHAME.
PeeJ said,
June 5, 2008 at 20:01
Yeah. And forget [u] and [blink] too.
Wordpress is an elidist bastard.
tx bubba said,
June 5, 2008 at 20:02
I hope everyone here is doing what they can to support Bob Barr’s candidacy. Because he’s the conservative who could sweep 48 states. It seems he’s already gotten Ron Paul’s endorsement.
J— said,
June 5, 2008 at 20:07
If the proprietors of this blog loved freedom, they would allow its commenters to use the blink tag.
Righteous Bubba said,
June 5, 2008 at 20:07
Wordpress is an elidist bastard.
It’s cleverness like this that needs to go if we’re going to keep the poop-joke ratio up to standard.
not even an mba said,
June 5, 2008 at 20:16
tigrismus,
I couldn’t help myself. I just fell in love with [big]PENIS.
Righteous Bubba said,
June 5, 2008 at 20:17
I just fell in love with [big]PENIS.
Aha! It’s a CHOICE!
not even an mba said,
June 5, 2008 at 20:17
Imagine, an [u] [blink]PENIS on a [button]. I drool at the thought.
sagra said,
June 5, 2008 at 20:20
I wonder if we could get Obamabots to say “biddi-biddi-biddi” like Twiki from Buck Rogers. That’d be cool.
MileHi Hawkeye said,
June 5, 2008 at 20:22
“Huskies are nigh indestructable.”
Only if they are Sears Toughskins! “Rough and tough, just like your little indestructable guy, this Toughskins jean has sturdy cotton fabric that will get him through the scrapes of childhood. He may be outnumbered on the playground, but at least his jeans will stay intact with their thick weave, sturdily-stitched hems and reinforced knees. Zip-fly with snap closure. 100% Cotton. Machine washable. Imported.”
sagra said,
June 5, 2008 at 20:22
Every blink is a wink to a penis
because it has only one eye
That’d make a good song, I think.
not even an mba said,
June 5, 2008 at 20:24
biddi-biddi-biddi
not even an mba said,
June 5, 2008 at 20:25
Back on topic, is this for reals?
tigrismus said,
June 5, 2008 at 20:27
Imagine, an [u] [blink]PENIS on a [button].
I hope it’s an “off” button because the thought of blinky penis terrifies.
Candy said,
June 5, 2008 at 20:34
Blinky penis can be dealt with by a hasty trip to your local Dept. of Public Health.
/public service announcement
not even an mba said,
June 5, 2008 at 20:40
Okay smartypantses, tell me what the difference is between [blink] and [throb].
Gary Ruppert said,
June 5, 2008 at 20:41
The fact is, Obama is a nigra. This means he is unelectable by the Heartland and the Southrons. This is good news for me. Too bad you chumps chose a loser, a racist, a criminal and a nigra.
Snort said,
June 5, 2008 at 20:44
Because he’s the conservative who could sweep 48 states.
Man that’s a lot of cleanig. Does he change the cat box too?
PeeJ said,
June 5, 2008 at 20:46
No no no Gary. Repeat after me: ‘neegra’ That’s it ‘neegra’
PeeJ said,
June 5, 2008 at 20:47
[blink] and [wink] are XTML and [throb] is HTML
Gary Ruppert said,
June 5, 2008 at 20:47
He is a black man, and with the anti-USA forces of Marxism and Islamists. He will surrender to Terror and we will be dhimmis if elected. Good thing a patriotic mob will prevent such a person from ever taking office.
Snort said,
June 5, 2008 at 20:48
No,no,no, it’s knee grow.
not even an mba said,
June 5, 2008 at 20:50
OMG! Derb’s gets to deliver a double axe-handle before getting kicked in the face three times by Bruce Lee!!!
not even an mba said,
June 5, 2008 at 20:51
Granted, it’s his stunt double eating the kicks, but still – Bruce Lee!
FuriousGeorge said,
June 5, 2008 at 20:52
Because he’s the conservative who could sweep 48 states.
Man that’s a lot of cleanig. Does he change the cat box too?
Who can take your trash out
Stuff it down for you
Shake the plastic bag
And do the twisty thingy too
The Garbage Man!
Yes the Garbage Man can
The Garbage Man can
And he does it with a smile and never judges you.
Snort said,
June 5, 2008 at 20:56
Good thing a pathetic mob will not prevent such a person from ever taking office.
Olexicon said,
June 5, 2008 at 20:59
Gary Ruppert said,
June 5, 2008 at 20:47
He is a black man, and with the anti-USA forces of Marxism and Islamists. He will surrender to Terror and we will be dhimmis if elected. Good thing a patriotic mob will prevent such a person from ever taking office.
“patriotic mob” like the ones used by Pinochet
tigrismus said,
June 5, 2008 at 21:01
tell me what the difference is between [blink] and [throb].
About 15 Schnitzengruben.
Trilateral Chairman said,
June 5, 2008 at 21:01
I wonder if this kind of thing is going to happen more often as the older, smarter generation of righties like Bill Buckley dies off.
I think so. The older and more eloquent generation knew how to camoflauge their more poisonous ideas in disingenuous yet appealing rhetoric. Take the civil rights movement: If you claim to oppose it on constitutional grounds, you and your followers can work to oppress black people without ever openly acknowledging that you’re doing so. Moreover, you can make your opponents look irrational by tricking them into attacking statements that (on the surface, at least) appear perfectly innocuous.
The new generation doesn’t have the rhetorical or intellectual ability to pull this off. On the one hand, you have people like Goldberg, who (as far as I can tell) essentially believe their own bullshit and adopt the camoflauge as though it were the real argument. On the other, there are people like Derbyshire who cast aside the camo and give it to you straight.
Both of these approaches involve a certain degree of innocent honesty, but neither one is a good way to build a movement. To mangle a metaphor, the useful idiots are running the asylum now. It’s going to be interesting to see what happens.
billy pilgrim said,
June 5, 2008 at 21:01
well, Gary certainly is already a dimmy.
PeeJ said,
June 5, 2008 at 21:05
Gary we’ve warned you before. You’re spraying all over the place again. Sitzpinkle or else.
Righteous Bubba said,
June 5, 2008 at 21:07
This Garbageman still rocks.
Ripley said,
June 5, 2008 at 21:20
Jonah Goldberg wets his pants.
That is all.
OneMadClown said,
June 5, 2008 at 21:21
Only if they are Sears Toughskins!
Damn skippy. As a fattie, I can attest to the seemingly impossible durability and heaping ridicule that only Toughskins Husky Boy pants could provide.
He may be outnumbered on the playground, but at least his jeans will stay intact with their thick weave, sturdily-stitched hems and reinforced knees.
Translation: Yeah, they’re gonna stomp Jonah’s chunky ass under the monkeybars at recess, but these miraculous jeans can stand up to the heat and friction generated by those thick thighs rubbing together as he runs screaming for the ice cream truck. Toughskins – they hold a Pantload!
D.N. Nation said,
June 5, 2008 at 21:29
Just a warning: Some (well, one really) in Melissa McEwan’s crew object to us objectifying Jonah Goldberg. So let’s tone down all mentions of D****y P******d, lest we deal progressive politics a brutal blow.
HTML Mencken said,
June 5, 2008 at 21:39
Link, plz.
Rightwingsnarkle said,
June 5, 2008 at 21:42
I hear ‘pasty’ is teh new ‘cute.’
SamFromUtah said,
June 5, 2008 at 21:53
Trilateral Chairman: To mangle a metaphor, the useful idiots are running the asylum now. It’s going to be interesting to see what happens.
Well said. That’s what I was trying to get at, and I’m curious to see what happens with it all. Long may Sadly, No! read their crap and present it to us with the proper garnish of ridicule.
stringonastick said,
June 5, 2008 at 22:06
P**tL**D’s thrashing on TDS was most interesting; at one point both he and Jon Stewart looked at the camera in a combined “WTF?” moment, where both realized that the person sitting opposite them was speaking in a entirely foreign language.
Stewart speaks english, Loady speaks neocondribble-ese.
PhysioProf said,
June 5, 2008 at 22:09
Battle of the demented fucking right-wing shitbag wackaloons! Priceless!
Righteous Bubba said,
June 5, 2008 at 22:14
Get grampa some McCain gear for his birthday!
Smut Clyde said,
June 5, 2008 at 22:14
Now that you’ve sorted out the strike tags, can anyone tell me how to do scare quotes? These “ordinary quotes” don’t look scary enough.
Smut Clyde said,
June 5, 2008 at 22:15
the useful idiots are running the asylum now
And the wolves have been thrown under the bus.
HTML Mencken said,
June 5, 2008 at 22:16
C’mon, c’mon, show me! I collect such things, D.N.
Then I objectify MOAR!! They complain about Sammiches, I reply with MOAR Sammiches! They complain about mean characterizations, I reply with MOAR mean… etc.
sagra said,
June 5, 2008 at 22:22
Shorter Trilateral Commission:
At some point Rev. Moon dies and then there’s just Moonies.
Smut Clyde said,
June 5, 2008 at 22:40
central to my point, etc.
And this is pointing to my centre.
jim said,
June 5, 2008 at 22:40
Such infighting among the 101st Keyboardists is a beautiful thing, & it should be encouraged to blossom wherever it sprouts. When neither side is right, everyone in the audience wins, & more so the longer the combat continues – as long as they’re not dumb enough to bet on one or the other jackass.
At some point Rev. Moon dies and then there’s just Moonies
Or : at some point Attila dies, leaving only Huns.
Not to mention a lot of scorched earth.
I hear scorched earth is very low in trans-fats though. Yum yum yum.
Hairy Pubert said,
June 5, 2008 at 22:44
I can’t seem to get my penis enlarger to work. Maybe a Dirt Devil would work better than a Hoover.
#23 Bus said,
June 5, 2008 at 23:04
We’re so happy to be useful again.
D.N. Nation said,
June 5, 2008 at 23:09
It’s on Shakesville under the Hillary’s Conceding thread.
I admit I stirred the pot a little, but these people leave me bonkers. They break bread with the likes of Larry Johnson for months, but then freak the hell out at the very mention that I would even think about making fun of the D****y P******d. You’d think the disparity here would be fairly evident, but Sadly…
D.N. Nation said,
June 5, 2008 at 23:10
Then you and I are fauxgressives, and are not to be respected or ANYTHING.
Meanwhile, we must work to win these people’s votes.
Again: Disparity, fairly evident, Sadly…
Susan of Texas said,
June 5, 2008 at 23:17
Some (well, one really) in Melissa McEwan’s crew object to us objectifying Jonah Goldberg.
I”m sorry, that’s too delicate for me. I already had my crises of conscience for this year.
He will always be Doughty Pantload.
J— said,
June 5, 2008 at 23:21
Link. Ctrl-F “Sniper.”
billy pilgrim said,
June 5, 2008 at 23:23
defending Jonah?
That’s too PC and touchy feely, even for me.
And I say that as someone who ALSO was beaten up by the monkey bars….
A Monkey Bar said,
June 5, 2008 at 23:26
Billy pilgrim is lying. We never touched him.
WereBear said,
June 5, 2008 at 23:29
Now come on!
If we can’t call a pantload a pantload, there is no honesty left in the public discourse.
PeeJ said,
June 5, 2008 at 23:33
For scare quotes I should think anything citing Dick Cheney would suffice.
Duros Hussein 62 said,
June 5, 2008 at 23:37
Stupidity?
Or GENIUS!!Interrabang!!!!
Imagine, an [u] [blink]PENIS on a [button]. I drool at the thought.
Ya, no. That’s why those tags won’t work. Everybody’ll want one and then the site will be unreadable.
tigrismus said,
June 5, 2008 at 23:38
Wait, explain to me please the source of their distress, does “doughy pantload” refer to weight at all? Or just to the undeniable fact that he’s so full of shit he needs a butt cork so as not to crash through town on a poo-nami of his own making?
sagra said,
June 5, 2008 at 23:39
Jonah is just asking for it, I tell ya. That seductive pantload waddle, and the way he slooowly licks the paste off the paste applicator? You know he wants it, and bad.
J— said,
June 5, 2008 at 23:40
Norbizness, we need you for a minute. What was your authorial intent when you authored “doughy pantload”?
Duros Hussein 62 said,
June 5, 2008 at 23:40
Okay smartypantses, tell me what the difference is between [blink] and [throb].
Erythromiacin.
D.N. Nation said,
June 5, 2008 at 23:42
They’re all piling on me now. Anything in service of the greater good! Except when it’s blatant misogyny and racism right under our noses.
Smut Clyde said,
June 5, 2008 at 23:45
Scenes at a Monkey Bar…
Hi, Bill. What are you having?
Hi, Nick. Make it a whisky, straight up. It’s been a long hard day with all the bark still on.
Still working on Jonah’s next book?
Fuck yeah. What a nightmare. He’s always going round the desks, looking over our shoulders, ripping sheets of paper out of the typewriter and crumpling them up if we write anything too cogent or expressive. Talk about micro-management.
Sounds like a bugger of a job. Say, I know what will make you feel better.
What’s that, Nick?
Some of the boys were talking about going around to Mikey’s place later and swinging from the light-fittings.
Fuck yeah, that’s always good for a laugh.
Enjoy the whisky, Bill, I gotta mix another round of banana dacquaries for the bonobos at Table 8.
PeeJ said,
June 5, 2008 at 23:46
Okay smartypantses, tell me what the difference is between [blink] and [throb].>/em>
Viagra?
HTML Mencken said,
June 5, 2008 at 23:49
Silly fellow Sadlynauts, don’t you know that “looksism” and “fatphobia” are bigotries “cut from the same cloth” as racism?
Bigotry is bigotry is bigotry!
You’re [we're] all a bunch of Nazis, worse than Hitler, Pol Pot, Gilles de Rais, Lex Luthor and the Chicago Cubs, combined.
(PS — thanks for the link, D.N. Ever since the Sammich episode, I’ve been a collector of these things. Hilarious stuff. )
PeeJ said,
June 5, 2008 at 23:52
this is a test ➔
PeeJ said,
June 5, 2008 at 23:56
oops. Imeant this ➔۩ is a test
J— said,
June 5, 2008 at 23:57
Now that you’ve sorted out the strike tags, can anyone tell me how to do scare quotes? These “ordinary quotes” don’t look scary enough.
A few options here at my old standby (look just after the Star of David and just before the Greek alphabet).
Smut Clyde said,
June 6, 2008 at 0:01
Now that’s what I call ❝scare quotes❞.
tigrismus said,
June 6, 2008 at 0:07
I got your ☠ Scare quotes ☠ right here in ♅
PeeJ said,
June 6, 2008 at 0:09
PENIS on a [button]. I drool at the thought.
Eeeaiiiiee! Sounds too much like “penis on a stick.” As much as I like the flavor, it’s a bit too ghastly to contemplate.
PeeJ said,
June 6, 2008 at 0:12
At the risk of starting a unicoding frenzy, this place is my favorite.
Bitter Scribe said,
June 6, 2008 at 0:14
I dearly hope that if Derbyshire gets confronted by a deranged gunman, he follows the advice he gave to the Virginia Tech victims.
GSD said,
June 6, 2008 at 0:20
Poor Gary Ruppert and his racist, sexist bretheren, their world is soon to be run by a black man, a woman and a Mormon.
Funny shit.
-GSD
Gary Ruppert said,
June 6, 2008 at 0:34
Pure class from DailyKos
Kossacks speak in defense of making fun of McCain’s war wounds
“this is why we lose. We’re so damned dainty, and so damned high and mighty, we can’t make jokes or goof around or point out simple things that actually are relevant to campaigns (Nixon likely lost because he looked weaty and artificial in heavy makeup during the first televised debates). Get off your high horse.” – anastasia p
“I don’t see the point of cutting any republican any slack on any issue. They would never return the favor.” – phatcat cane
“i see nothing wrong with pointing out that mccain looks downright hideous.” – roonster
“It is a disgrace for a man who is running for President to have such awful looking teeth.” – ajleiker
“You can make a legitimate case that his selection of a dentist reflects upon his judgement. I say its fair game.” – raycharles
Obama should denounce the site. But he won’t.
He needs the leftist fever swamp. It’s his base.
Righteous Bubba said,
June 6, 2008 at 0:36
What war wounds were made fun of?
Mrs. O'Leary's Cow said,
June 6, 2008 at 0:45
He didn’t have any war wounds back when I knew him.
Candy said,
June 6, 2008 at 0:52
π
Candy said,
June 6, 2008 at 0:53
I like pi!
Thanks for that link, PeeJ. I’ll try not to abuse it.
tigrismus said,
June 6, 2008 at 0:53
Poor ickle Gary, did they hurt your feewings? Here, have a bandaid
D.N. Nation said,
June 6, 2008 at 0:56
We’ve of course had this debate before. What’s really setting me over the edge is that they’re slamming me with it all while ignoring the fucking bigots they hang out with. It’s absurd.
All those “Melissa McEwan Is Making Sense” moments? Fuck ‘em. She’s a hypocrite, completely unaware of her own privilege all while beating us over the head with ours. Beam, mote, nutter.
OriGuy said,
June 6, 2008 at 0:56
«At some point Rev. Moon dies and then there’s just Moonies.»
Will it be like when Genghis Khan died? They’ll all go back to Korea and elect a new Father?
trizzlor said,
June 6, 2008 at 0:58
It’s been a long fantasy of mine to make a web-site where all of these pundit “predictions” are tracked and verified: one can hop in, search for Goldberg, Friedman, Kristol, etc. and see exactly what they’ve prognosticated and what has come up (cited, of course); with the option to see the best and worst. Being heavily in grad school now, I don’t have the time – but I’m throwing the idea out there.
OriGuy said,
June 6, 2008 at 0:58
Curses! Foiled again by WordPress! That was supposed to be left and right angle quotes.
Smut Clyde said,
June 6, 2008 at 1:04
What’s that? Someone’s injuries from the Vietnam War are not being taken sufficiently seriously? For shame.
Blue Oyster Cult said,
June 6, 2008 at 1:05
Oh, no
They say he’s made of dough
Loadzilla,,,,
Smut Clyde said,
June 6, 2008 at 1:07
That was supposed to be left and right angle quotes
Needs the semicolon to close the symbol ID.
Speaking of which, how come Unicode won’t provide me with a hemisemicolon or a demihemisemicolon? So much for your much-vaunted “interweb”.
Olexicon said,
June 6, 2008 at 1:10
remember the Purple heart bandaids at the RNC Convention in 2004, good times
GSD said,
June 6, 2008 at 1:10
McCain’s teeth were wounded in Vietnam?
Damn those VC.
-GSD
Olexicon said,
June 6, 2008 at 1:11
“Obama should denounce the site. But he won’t.
He needs the leftist fever swamp. It’s his base”
Also McCain sxhould denocunce LGF, Redsate, the wallstreet jounral, the corner, and anywhere else xenophobic idiots spout hateful nonsense, in that case he should also denounce the RNC website
The Intertoobz said,
June 6, 2008 at 1:25
We can, starting with a colon, give you a demihemisemicolon or a hemisemicolon. Just as soon as we perfect e-surgery.
We’re working on it…..
Candy ♥ π said,
June 6, 2008 at 1:29
In Glenn Greenwald’s Great American Hypocrites he eloquently makes the point that everything the Republicans claim to believe, everything they claim to support, and everything they literally are is a complete fake and just the opposite of what they really are. They get away with this with the support of the media, which is largely made up of folks who are just like them. Thus, John Kerry is a frenchified pussy and the shrub is a jet pilot fightin’ man. Obama should denounce Wright but it’s cool that McCain hangs out with Hagee. Edwards’ expensive haircut proves he’s an effete elitist but Romney’s $150 powder downs in his mobile beauty wagon go utterly unremarked. This is all “fair and balanced.”
Need beer.
Smut Clyde said,
June 6, 2008 at 1:35
He needs the leftist fever swamp.
Fever swamps are nothing. New Zealand politicians have mosh pits at their
concertsrallies. Our Prime Ministerial candidates think nothing of throwing themselves off the stage and crowd-surfing, microphone still in hand. Advantage NZ.Doctorb said,
June 6, 2008 at 1:39
He’s referring to McCain’s gum damage, which was actually a war wound — he developed scurvy during the First Barbary War.
Simba B said,
June 6, 2008 at 1:40
If that is true, I am packing my bags tonight and will be moving to New Zealand tomorrow.
Simba B said,
June 6, 2008 at 1:44
If Wikipedia said it, it must be true.
Simba B said,
June 6, 2008 at 1:44
Wait—better link.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
June 6, 2008 at 1:44
Damn. I miss a lot when I’m a teh Borg all day.
So Doughy Pantload is non PC?
Fuck ‘em if they can’ t get a joke.
Proteus454 said,
June 6, 2008 at 1:48
Smut Clyde: You are making that up.
…are you?
Smut Clyde said,
June 6, 2008 at 1:53
I have a tape, which I will release on Monday. In the meantime it should be enough that I have talked to people who have seen the tape.
SamFromUtah said,
June 6, 2008 at 2:06
Trizzlor: It’s been a long fantasy of mine to make a web-site where all of these pundit “predictions” are tracked and verified…
I’d thought about a similar thing, with a feature to try to characterize the rate of self-contradiction. Like, for instance, they reverse themselves on economic policy every 31 days, foreign policy every 47 days, etc. – assuming it’s a regular cycle (probably not, since it’d be influenced by effectively random events from the outside world, like by liberals saying something they’re honor-bound to object to).
Chart it, and you’d have some sort of weird wingnut biorhythm you could use to predict when they were going to flip-flop again, which would make the search for their previous damning columns a lot quicker.
gbear said,
June 6, 2008 at 2:10
Just. Gotta. Post. This. Link.
Fun.
http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2008/06/if-barack-obama%e2%80%99s-gonna-win-this-election-he%e2%80%99s-gonna-have-to-do-a-better-job-winning-over-racist-voters.html
I swiped it from a comment at Balloon Juice.
tigrismus said,
June 6, 2008 at 2:22
Fever swamps are nothing. New Zealand politicians have mosh pits at their
concertsrallies. Our Prime Ministerial candidates think nothing of throwing themselves off the stage and crowd-surfing, microphone still in hand. Advantage NZ.Hey, we had a presidential candidate do that, it just happened to be a crazy man.
mikey said,
June 6, 2008 at 2:33
The train back down from Teh Portlanding contained no less than 52 (Noo, I didn’t count them) Kiwis. I watched a 92 year old woman drink the entire parlor car under the table.
Then she went looking for more action in the sightseeing car.
Phew….
mikey
web design said,
June 6, 2008 at 3:05
That’s it. Really nice!
Gary Ruppert said,
June 6, 2008 at 3:09
The fact is, HTML Jenkem should not be mocking Jonah Goldberg, whose intellectualism is renowned thoughout the conservative movement, and the Heartland.
Simba B said,
June 6, 2008 at 3:14
Fixed for ya, Gary.
dim-witted badger said,
June 6, 2008 at 3:17
fucking pelicans
dim-witted ruppert said,
June 6, 2008 at 3:23
fucking jenkem
cocktailhag said,
June 6, 2008 at 3:32
I actually think the the Pantious Loadious is a fine addition to the wingnut firmament; his adolescent piffle being added to the LATimes coincided with that rag’s circulation circling the bowl like a corn-dotted turd on the way down pretty precisely. Can Billy (sign up, because I never bothered) Kristol do the same for the NYT? One can only hope.
When it comes to Wingnuts, I like ‘em big and stupid.
Smut Clyde said,
June 6, 2008 at 3:33
Hey, we had a presidential candidate do that, it just happened to be a crazy man.
Hmmff. So we have to do better than Alan Keyes?
OK, the next NZ prime ministerial debate will be held inside an echo chamber. With snakes, so PM Clark can spend her 5 minutes of rebuttal time calling for the removal of these motherfuckin’ snakes from this motherfuckin’ fever swamp.
not even an mba said,
June 6, 2008 at 3:37
D.N., I didn’t see any more posts from you after Melissa threatened to ban you. Any comment?
g said,
June 6, 2008 at 3:38
Well, my experience with the Borg today was disheartening, and I am SADLY in need of drink.
I’ve been assigned to re-design an exisiting webpage by Monday – by someone who doesn’t understand webpages, computers, data bases, or etc. And she refused to sit down together and LOOK at it to discuss it – she wanted to discuss by phone.
Well, the choices we have to make in this case are all visual. And no, she cannot access the page on her low-rent dial-up. How can you solve a visual problem with someone who 1) hasn’t SEEN what you’re working with (hasn’t seen it. Not once. Not at all. Not even the original) and who 2) isn’t a good visualizer anyway.
So at one point I said something like, “I really can’t explain it to you in words, I have to show you.”
And I was told “Well, you have to adapt.”
Oh, yeah? I have to fucking adapt? Ms. Doesn’t-understand-what-a-hyperlink-is thinks I’M the one who has to adapt?
Who’s got the beer?
dim-witted ruppert said,
June 6, 2008 at 3:45
g. Only one choice. Pull all the graphics down.
Use greeked or existing text.
Set up three comps, using NOTHING but existing assets and existing page templates.
PDF ‘em.
Tell ‘er she either has to approve one of them or she has to extend the deadline by 21-30 days for graphic design/layout.
Whatever she does, at that point, you’re ok…
M
web design said,
June 6, 2008 at 3:45
I am a freaking spamming troll. I will make your web site suck shit.
not even an mba said,
June 6, 2008 at 3:47
So, look-ism is enough of a sin that Jonah liberal fascism Goldberg deserves to be spared it’s violent sting. Because I’m terribly unoriginal, here’s my quote again from the beginning of this thread
At the same fucking time that the fucking right wing nutjobs were trying their best to get him blacklisted. Sure Jonah Goldberg may once have been a human being, but that the Jonah Goldberg alive today – proud of the shit he’s spewed – is somehow deserving of civility? Fuck that shit. Fuck it with a big fat sammich, you know the wafflekreig of liberal fascism.
dim-witted badger said,
June 6, 2008 at 3:51
The semiotic blancmange of post-structural teakettle barbecue hatstand fishmonger is upsetting the pelicans.
Brigham Young™³²®© said,
June 6, 2008 at 3:56
Jonah Goldberg has but one wif to give for his country?
Fuckin traitor.
g said,
June 6, 2008 at 3:57
Is that semiotic blancmange with raspberry sauce?
justme said,
June 6, 2008 at 3:57
Teh Doughload needs to go fuck himself with a Garden Weasel®. Furiously.
picklefactory said,
June 6, 2008 at 4:01
HJALP IN DER TOILETS!
http://www.jerkcity.com/jerkcity512.html
g said,
June 6, 2008 at 4:04
Tell ‘er she either has to approve one of them or she has to extend the deadline by 21-30 days for graphic design/layout.
OK — here’s an example of the kind of thinking this person does.
You show her a mock-up with placeholder images. And you explain that the images she sees in the mock-up are just place-holders, that we can put any image her little heart desires in that place.
She spends the entire session talking about what image will ultimately end up in the place-holder. She even asks you to show her some of them.
Can I have that beer?
PeeJ said,
June 6, 2008 at 4:08
I need a recipe for pelican stew. I kan haz ur hjalp?
PeeJ said,
June 6, 2008 at 4:09
g, you’re going to need something stronger than beer.
justme said,
June 6, 2008 at 4:13
I recommend tequila. El Tesoro is particularly satisfying.
Brigham Young™³²®© said,
June 6, 2008 at 4:15
g, seems to me you have blanc mange, or carte blanche (I always mix those two up), to do whatever you want.
P.S. Fuk ‘em if they can’t take a joke!
P.P.S. I know, it’s always easier to give people advice about what to do at their Borg then survive even another day at your own.
not even an mba said,
June 6, 2008 at 4:16
More FAT FAT FAT FATTY FAT HEAD:
In other words, I was a fucking asshole, swaggering around, claiming I was so fucking smart. Well I was full of shit be he was a scaredy-cat so I’m better. Now I can claim moral high ground, but I will refrain from calling him a terrorist fund raiser again.
Seriously, fuck that fat fucking sanctimonious fatty fat fat.
PeeJ said,
June 6, 2008 at 4:27
And not only that, he’s fat.
g said,
June 6, 2008 at 4:34
I did have fun sending that video of the Russian guy flipping out in the cubicles to my co-workers, though.
I think I adequately conveyed my mood by sending that.
mikey said,
June 6, 2008 at 4:37
Pelican Stew.
Hmm. I suspect pelican is a strong, tangy, oily motherfucker. So stew is a crappy idea. So let’s see what we can do.
Hot wok. Tablespoon of wok oil, tablespoon of hot oil. Screamin hot. Debone the pelican and just cube up the breasts, thighs and back. Gentle with the skin. Toss it in the hot wok with bell peppers, celery, onions, garlic and, after a little while, mushrooms. Stir it around til everything’s seared and the pelican has given up a lot of the fish oil. Pull it before it’s done, and set it aside.
Get a pot or dutch oven, stir in another onion, a couple carots, a turnip and some fresh herbs. Stir ‘em for a little while, hit it with four cups of water and two cups of red wine. Drop in maybe three yukon golds, in one inch cubes, four oz. tomato paste, lid it up and simmer it for 45 minutes. Drop in the seared meat n crap, hit it hard with coriander, salt, black pepper and cayenne pepper. Simmer for another thirty or so, but the fact is, with the heat down low, and a lid on? Shit’s good for days.
Serve it over short grain rice or egg noodles.
The badgers will thank you..
mikey
justme said,
June 6, 2008 at 4:38
Did I mention that he’s fat? Like, Michael-Moore-I-think-a-medium-sized-okapi-would-make-a-rather-nice-appetizer fat?
And ’cause I said “Michael Moore”, now I can just keep saying Fatty McFat Fat, Fat Fatty, Fat.
dim-witted badger said,
June 6, 2008 at 4:41
may you all get happily fat eating pelican, stew? blancmange? whatever.
Smut Clyde said,
June 6, 2008 at 4:45
When the only tool you have is a Garden Weasel®, everything looks like
Jonah’s butta vegetable garden.Righteous Bubba said,
June 6, 2008 at 4:46
Shredded Marmoset with Clustered Prunes
Ingredients:
1 balsamic marmoset
4 gallons prune, clustered
6 teaspoons nondairy topping, unhelpfully braised
6 cups crazy zebra thorax
1 bunch maple syrup
1 tablespoon paprika
Pick over the ingredients magniloquently and discard excess ceramic. Place the marmoset into a large saucepan. Mix the prune with the nondairy topping over high heat in a bag. Stuff the resulting potion into the marmoset. Pepper the zebra thorax, maple syrup, and the paprika exhalingly. Dab the latter combination on to the former.
Righteous Bubba said,
June 6, 2008 at 4:46
That pelican option just won’t come up.
PeeJ said,
June 6, 2008 at 4:48
Jonah is to fascism as these guys are to heterosexuality. [Prolly NSFW]
Smut Clyde said,
June 6, 2008 at 4:48
When the only tool you have is JanusNode, you’re probably RB.
Righteous Bubba said,
June 6, 2008 at 4:49
I will not have my tool besmirched by Smut.
g said,
June 6, 2008 at 4:54
Pelican stew sounds good, mikey. But all I’m good for is Stouffer’s macaroni and cheese straight from the plastic, glass of wine (Oregon Pinot Gris, King Estate), suggested attire: pajamas.
Did I mention my SO is out of town?
mikey said,
June 6, 2008 at 4:56
I will not have my tool besmirched by Smut.
Um, b’lieve you prob’ly will, mi amigo.
But in response you should ask him about the art that hangs over the downstairs toilet….
mikey
????? ????? said,
June 6, 2008 at 5:06
Thanks, PeeJ. My handle needed a makeover.
justme said,
June 6, 2008 at 5:06
Bubba,
Here I was, expecting blancmange.
henry lewis said,
June 6, 2008 at 5:07
Well, it was a nice idea.
handy said,
June 6, 2008 at 5:19
Don’t tell me, I’ve been living on the ceiling.
J— said,
June 6, 2008 at 5:22
On the subject of quotes that might scare, have you all seen The “Blog” of “Unnecessary” Quotation Marks?
PeeJ said,
June 6, 2008 at 5:26
Sheesh. Looks like I need to “scare up” some quotes.
PeeJ said,
June 6, 2008 at 5:27
ob. poop joke: Don’t have one. Just noting that I should.
Righteous Bubba said,
June 6, 2008 at 5:29
Don’t have a poop but you should? This pooping stuff’s complicated.
Smut Clyde said,
June 6, 2008 at 5:33
I have to assume that since the French have taken the easy way out, their cuisine also includes such delicacies as rougemange, vertmange, bleumange, jaunemange and noirmange. This must simplify French menus immensely (assuming that they even have a word for ‘menu’).
PeeJ said,
June 6, 2008 at 5:44
Ya know, thats the problem – the frenchies don’t have a word for entrepreneur.
[debunked but, as the eye-ties say, 'ben trovato']
Righteous Bubba said,
June 6, 2008 at 5:52
Thomas Jefferson’s Mole Kugel
Ingredients:
1 mole, charred
7 sticks long cream cheese, stirred
7 bags admirable Oaxaca cheese
2 pounds Oaxaca cheese
5 jars tri-colour mountain goat thorax, braggingly iced
7 jars sage
1 ounce salt
Auspiciously grease a cookie sheet. Separate mole colon from hoof. Consume hoof. Stir the cream cheese with the Oaxaca cheese over medium heat in a jar. Stuff the resulting goo into the mole. Toast – very languishingly – the mountain goat thorax, sage, and the salt. Encrust the latter combination on to the former. Do not bake for 74 hours. Instead, braise as if your lunch depended on it. Serves 2 perverse individuals with important stomachs.
PeeJ said,
June 6, 2008 at 5:53
Speaking of complicated, it seems the recovery process for our Seattle brethren is…complicated. Hope his complications didn’t have complications.
mikey said,
June 6, 2008 at 5:55
Stuff the resulting goo into the mole.
Pretty sure I don’t have to do shit like this anymore.
Gonna stick to that story…
mikey
Mrs. Conclusion said,
June 6, 2008 at 5:56
Moles don’t have hooves! There! I’ve run rings round you logically!
Righteous Bubba said,
June 6, 2008 at 6:02
It is true that moles Clinton supporters put in their stewpots do not have hooves. We elitist Obama supporters consume a superior mole.
Brigham Young™³²®© said,
June 6, 2008 at 6:07
Mole
Moles
Molest
Molesumus
Molestis
Molesunt
Avogadro said,
June 6, 2008 at 6:18
Superior schmerior. Moles is moles.
g said,
June 6, 2008 at 6:18
Oh, <mole!!
I thought you meant mole.
Avogadro said,
June 6, 2008 at 6:19
Ha! Got you going to the wiki for that one doan I!
6.022*10²³®© said,
June 6, 2008 at 6:24
Dood, i totally gotcher number.
Butt Pirate said,
June 6, 2008 at 6:24
Molestation is the time honored process of blending chocolate [read: big cock] and chilis [read: mamacita!] with 11 herbs and spices to produce a sauce [blanc? non!] generaly applied to
Aw who am I kidding? We love boy rump!
Would you decline a tequila? said,
June 6, 2008 at 6:40
Atequila
atequilae
atequili
atequilam
atequilo
Arp said,
June 6, 2008 at 6:41
It’s gotten quite DADAesque, non?
Incontinentia Buttocks said,
June 6, 2008 at 6:57
Again, you think these people would remember that this stuff is on the internet and easily locatable . . .
Some of them do. Have you tried locating Andrew Sullivan’s “coastal enclaves” post recently? The few wingnuts who give a crap what the rest of the world thinks are often willing, like copraphagic dogs, to eat their crap to cover their tracks.
dim-witted badger said,
June 6, 2008 at 7:15
Pelicans don’t molt…
Lions do.
justme said,
June 6, 2008 at 7:18
Blancmange, feh.
For my Doughy, Pantloaded compatriot, blancmucilage.
Doctorb said,
June 6, 2008 at 7:45
The blancmanges mean to win Wimbledon.
A Coprophagic Dog said,
June 6, 2008 at 8:17
are often willing, like copraphagic dogs, to eat their crap to cover their tracks.
Truth to tell, covering up our tracks is the least of our motivations. This is where the analogy breaks down, and has to be dumped on the side of the road to be towed away later.
Some Guy said,
June 6, 2008 at 8:36
So can we round up all the neocon wingnuts who were bitching and moaning last year about how Clinton was “annointed” to be the Democratic nominee for 2008?
Some Guy said,
June 6, 2008 at 10:12
OT, but:
http://www.exiern.com/index.php?strip_id=109
Heh, indeed.
a different brad said,
June 6, 2008 at 10:19
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Wait.
Wait.
Calling him Doughy Pantload is a fat joke?
The guy isn’t fat so much as a lazy out of shape piece of shit, just to begin.
not even an mba said,
June 6, 2008 at 12:15
Fido @ 8:17,
If it was dumped at the side of the road, wouldn’t you eat it?
Also as a different brad pointed out, Panty McPoopsHisself is a lazy out of shape piece of shit. I’d certainly appreciate it if you or some of your buddies could find your way to the NRO offices for a feast. I understand that it would be a large meal.
Gary Ruppert said,
June 6, 2008 at 13:34
The fact is, God does not like liberals. They will be smited, and that will be the case in November, as it was 4 years ago. God had a plan for Bush. God may still have one, but if not, for mcCain, not for a Marxist Black Power Muslim whos wife is a racist and said whiety and hates America.
OneMadClown said,
June 6, 2008 at 13:57
OK, I am fat. I can’t say no to nachos, I wore Toughskins as a kid, blah blah blah. So I will make as many fucking fat jokes as I fucking well like.
Perhaps if we stopped desperately looking for things to offend our delicate sensibilities, we might actually get around to developing a sense of humor, or the ability to laugh at ourselves. Or, we can follow the lead of the terminally humorless and make sure that we never crack a joke any more risque than a Ziggy cartoon.
Oh wait, that’s probably sexist, he’s not wearing any pants.
Gary Ruppert said,
June 6, 2008 at 14:09
The fact is, Obama can’t wait to surrender in Iraq.
He’s more willing to sit down with the Iranian head of state than he is to sit down with General Petraeus.
He’s friendly with that scumbag oxygen thief unrepentant terrorist, Bill Ayers, and is not above going to his lair to beg for an endorsement, but he won’t deign to get an onsite briefing from the military he wishes to command.
“I won’t wear that [flag] pin on my chest.” I had friends who bled and died with that flag on their shoulder, Senator. Who do you think you are?
He advocated striking Pakistan, an ally. A nuclear-equipped ally.
He’s so ill-informed, he thinks they speak Arabic in Afghanistan. I guess all those towel-heads look alike to him?
Why all the socialist realism in the artwork? Who the hell is he surrounding himself with?
He sat through his preacher’s sermons for 20 years. If he’s saying his preacher’s anti-americanism is news now, he’s a lying dirtbag.
As mentioned above, he’s using Zbigniew Brzinski as a foreign policy advisor. I’d be hard-pressed to imagine anyone more disastrous.
He’s willing to squander the prestige of the American presidency and allowing our enemies to hold the Presidential schedule hostage by expressing willingness to meet in person with any of our enemies. Sorry – a decent executive does not waste time meeting where it will do no good.
Speaking of executive, the man has zero executive experience. Indeed, he has never had any real responsibility whatsoever outside of his own family and managing his staff.
Hamas loves him. ‘Nuff said.
This is the worst candidate for the Presidency in my memory. At least Dukakis was specific about policy and had some experience as a chief executive. Take Obama off his hope and change game, and he’s hopeless.
Susan of Texas said,
June 6, 2008 at 14:52
And yet, he’ll be president and you’ll be tied down and forced to watch “Sweet Sweetback’s Baadasssss Song” in your Honkey Re-Education Camp.
not even an mba said,
June 6, 2008 at 14:55
Hamas loves him. ‘Nuff said.
Why Gary – are you’re letting Hamas’ opinion influence who to support?
Take Obama off his hope and change game, and he’s hopeless
and changeless too, how’s he going to use the Great Vending Machine of Freedom?
Susan of Texas said,
June 6, 2008 at 15:04
And by the way, what kind of dope uses the Ruppert nom de stupid?
Vin Scully said,
June 6, 2008 at 15:07
Man, Gary, what better way to show the depth of your political insight and free-thinking ability than to cut-and-paste somebody else’s opinion from the comments of Megan McArdle’s blog! (http://meganmcardle.theatlantic.com/archives/2008/06/technicolor.php, if anybody with a strong stomach wants it)
I know, I know – pie. But I’m a teacher, and plagiarism hacks me off. Fail.
D.N. Nation said,
June 6, 2008 at 15:39
Eh, I left. Someone threatening to ban me for something I thought (you’ll note that I didn’t even say anything offensive) is beyond help.
It may take a few weeks, but they’ll soon join us getting our jollies dissing McCain. They’ll never admit to the racism and bigotry coming from their side of the fence, but alas, it is what it is.
not even an mba said,
June 6, 2008 at 15:51
At least he didn’t sign it
Splash, out.
Speaking of Megan, here she is presenting an uncontroversial opinion, and yet
WTF?! (I apologize for my recent overuse of the interrobang.)
First, asymptotically? If you want to fadge it up, you have to increase the density of the fadge-ing or crap like this stands out like Doughy Pantload does at the gym. The only people who argue about petticoats are fehtishists (link while technically worksafe, not sanity safe), and while I have no idea what floats Megan’s boat (other than thought of the old and poor all being shipped off to work camps), this type of discussion is not charmingly quaint but rather disturbingly creepy. And in that sense, the asymptote metaphor breaks down, because race is already fehtishized. It is already equally improper to ponder about mid 19th century women’s underwear as it is to talk about jungle fever.
Lakeesha Shaidle said,
June 6, 2008 at 16:04
“I won’t wear that [flag] pin on my chest.” I had friends who bled and died with that flag on their shoulder, Senator. Who do you think you are?
Gary, tell your Cheetoist buddies that the pin goes through their shirt, not their heart. You clowns could fuck up a baked potato.
not even an mba said,
June 6, 2008 at 16:29
D.N., I was just perusing the links at Shakes explaining what the banning policy is:
Sing it Sister! Oh, wait no fat jokes or we get banned? What if we use humor as a defense mechanism, what if it’s a mental disability that causes us call fatties fat?
Fucking “Christian Supremacists” are Fair Game, so if you’ve been brought up as a devoutly evangelical tool of the Lord, Shakes don’t give two shits about you, but if you’re overweight…
But denigrating vegetarianism is Off Limits (wev – totally non-arbitrary). Maybe I should post this over at Shakesville, after all the Fair Game list includes people who are hypocrites.
Hey fatties, if you’ve got a physical condition like hereditary diabetes or something that means you can’t keep your weight in the optimum range, well then I honestly apologize to you. If you’ve chosen to be overweight for some other reason, then I don’t apologize since you probably consider “fatty” to be a compliment – although I do hope you live in a country without socialized health care. If you’re one of the millions who just don’t have enough discipline to get to a realistic weight, then I still don’t apologize. Think of it as my helping hand of motivation, you fat fattie. If, however, you’re Jonah fucking DoughBob LoadPants, then fuck you with a fucking buttered cinnamon roll stuffed with deep fried bacon, but only after it’s been digested by some fattie.
sagra said,
June 6, 2008 at 16:46
*cries*
Djur said,
June 6, 2008 at 17:14
Oh great. Are we going to have another sammich/Lesley/”the existence of corpulent swine fatty fatfaces tears at the root of my soul” episode here?
Jesus, it’s not like anyone’s threatening to tie you down and stuff Taco Bell ® Cheesy Beefy Melts © down your throat. Just get over it.
D.N. Nation said,
June 6, 2008 at 17:51
Jonah Goldberg deserves to be poked for his appearance more than Michael Moore because Michael Moore isn’t going around flaunting himself as some macho warrior/scholar at the front lines of the battle against good and evil. He flaunts himself as an everyman. His physique isn’t against this paradigm. (His lifestyle may be, so that’s open game.) If schlumps like Goldberg, Don Surber, and Glenn Reynolds want to pretend that they’re these gun-wielding studs kicking sand on teh libs at the beach, then they earn the mockery they receive.
How is this hard to understand? Sheesh.
slippy hussein toad said,
June 6, 2008 at 17:57
I’ve had that same thought. The drastic decline in intelligence between the Jurassic-era Conservatives and the ones we have today points to some kind of de-evolutionary process. It may be literally that being force-fed stupid ideas as a child stunts your intellectual growth for life.
Or it could be that they were this fucking stupid all along and just weren’t allowed to run free with all of their catastrophically stupid ideas until Bush 43.
Righteous Bubba said,
June 6, 2008 at 18:03
There’s a relevant post at Crooked Timber.
http://crookedtimber.org/2008/06/06/the-great-library-of-tlon/
SamFromUtah said,
June 6, 2008 at 18:25
Or it could be that they were this fucking stupid all along and just weren’t allowed to run free with all of their catastrophically stupid ideas until Bush 43.
Hard to tell, isn’t it? I think of it as a parallel to the “from shirtsleeves to shirtsleeves in three generations” principle. The first generation had to work – i.e., interact with the real world – for their position, the second had at least known the people who had to work, and the third is a bunch of decadent dumbshits who’ve had everything handed to them so they have no idea how to maintain what they’ve got.
But the idea of not running free until Dumbya took over is a good point. Conservatives tend to assume that there is some point where “We win forever!” and after that point they can act like dicks with impunity. In this case, 9/11 changed everything.
SamFromUtah said,
June 6, 2008 at 18:28
…forgot to add, Dumbya third-generation decadent dumbshit rich kid is the perfect figurehead for that kind of crowd.
not even an mba said,
June 6, 2008 at 19:26
Hey, if a fat guy slaps a woman around and calls her a trollop and a cunt, is it reasonable to make fun of him because he’s fat?
What if a vegetarian accuses a racial minority of destroying the country? Can we say that all that tofu must be shrinking her brain?
It’s a sign of progress that black guys can be publicly called misogynists and women can be publicly called racists because racist women and black misogynists exist.
Remember who it is that we’re poking fun at. Jonah Goldberg. We’re calling him fat, he’s calling us Nazis.
Lawnguylander said,
June 6, 2008 at 20:11
If you’re one of the millions who just don’t have enough discipline to get to a realistic weight, then I still don’t apologize. Think of it as my helping hand of motivation, you fat fattie. If, however, you’re Jonah fucking DoughBob LoadPants, then fuck you with a fucking buttered cinnamon roll stuffed with deep fried bacon, but only after it’s been digested by some fattie.
I call sloppy seconds for you with that cinnamon roll once he’s done with it. You’re welcome. After all it’s the least I can do what with you bravely standing up for the rights of thin people everywhere to make fun of fat people. But my admiration for your principled stand is lessened by the fact that commenters I’ve enjoyed reading here have said they’re done with the place because of all the fat jokes. I’ve made fat jokes too but hearing that made me feel guilty and if they really aren’t coming back I’ll miss them a lot more than I would fat jokes.
not even an mba said,
June 6, 2008 at 21:47
OK. Message received, the horse is dead, I’ll beat something else. Now if only there were something else around that I could beat…
Smut Clyde said,
June 6, 2008 at 22:24
There’s a relevant post at Crooked Timber.
http://crookedtimber.org/2008/06/06/the-great-library-of-tlon/
I would read it, but at the moment I’m busy supervising the unemployed PhD.s who are landscaping my back yard (on minimum wages). They seem determined to turn it into a Garden of Forking Paths.
Righteous Bubba said,
June 6, 2008 at 22:28
I hoist a frosty mug of aleph in your direction.
Lakeesha Shaidle said,
June 7, 2008 at 14:23
My head says no, but in my heart he’ll always be the Doughy Pantload.
David Neiwert said,
June 9, 2008 at 22:41
Jonah just wishes he were Bruce Lee.
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June 25, 2008 at 18:55
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