Jun
4

Fun with special effects




Posted at 16:19 by Brad

A friend of mine just sent me the following e-mail:

if mccain keeps on giving speeches in front of green backgrounds, I’ve going to have to keep chroma-keying his pasty white ass into pornos…

Technology is awesome.

101 Comments »

  1. El Cid said,

    June 4, 2008 at 16:20

    Bless you. That is all.

  2. OTB said,

    June 4, 2008 at 16:21

    I think a backdrop featuring Leatherface or Jason is more apt. But well done!

  3. F'in Librul said,

    June 4, 2008 at 16:29

    Oh, crap. Way to start the day. I almost broke my uvula!

    Did he look like a scoop of potato salad on a ned of lettuce, or what?

  4. tigrismus said,

    June 4, 2008 at 16:40

    Happiest I’ve ever seen him.

  5. Righteous Bubba said,

    June 4, 2008 at 16:40

    Good god he looks like some hideous skeletal thingie.

  6. Robert M. said,

    June 4, 2008 at 16:43

    Get Gavin to do one with the old folks’ home from the Simpsons.

    American Gothic would be good, too, with McCain’s head superimposed over the man.

  7. OTB said,

    June 4, 2008 at 16:47

    Contest! Contest!!

  8. kid bitzer said,

    June 4, 2008 at 16:48

    that is so wrong, it’s just…
    beautiful.

  9. OTB said,

    June 4, 2008 at 16:49

    This guy?

  10. fillerbunny said,

    June 4, 2008 at 16:56

    uhhh… is that his real smile, or was he digitally altered, ’cause the smile is freaking me out….

  11. Porn guy in background said,

    June 4, 2008 at 16:57

    Chortling at my boner are you! Well I’m voting Barr in November!

  12. Kyle Menig said,

    June 4, 2008 at 17:06

    Damn it, Grandpa! You’re blocking the goods….

  13. Woodrowfan said,

    June 4, 2008 at 17:07

    Given his age, shouldn’t that be a vintage Betty Page bondage clip behind him???

  14. caliph garrett said,

    June 4, 2008 at 17:07

    Damn, that’s a really ugly chancre on that dude’s…

    Oh.

  15. Righteous Bubba said,

    June 4, 2008 at 17:11

    In keeping with recent dirigible themes the appropriate background is obviously Hindenburg footage.

  16. fardels bear said,

    June 4, 2008 at 17:14

    I’m pretty sure I sat next to her in Algebra II in high school.

  17. not even an mba said,

    June 4, 2008 at 17:18

    The CNN Graphic needs fixing too. You can keep the word “clinched”.

  18. tigrismus said,

    June 4, 2008 at 17:18

    Given his age, shouldn’t that be a vintage Betty Page bondage clip behind him???

    Uh, hello?

  19. r€nato said,

    June 4, 2008 at 17:20

    Say hello to John “Cock Block” McCain.

  20. MileHi Hawkeye said,

    June 4, 2008 at 17:22

    I iz in ur pron, blockin ur cockz.

  21. pedestrian said,

    June 4, 2008 at 17:25

    I’m beginning to worry that this will affect my ability to enjoy porn.

  22. aimai said,

    June 4, 2008 at 17:26

    Jeez, don’t let his campaign know you can do that. They’ll steal the idea.

    aimai

  23. AJB said,

    June 4, 2008 at 17:29

    Dennis Prager approves of snapping teen girls’ bras.

    Spread the word.

  24. slag said,

    June 4, 2008 at 17:31

    Nope. Needs more leather. And more men. I’m thinking gay porn is where McCain needs to be.

  25. pedestrian said,

    June 4, 2008 at 17:43

    I’m thinking gay porn is where McCain needs to be.

    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
    OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
    OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
    OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
    OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
    OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
    OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
    OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
    OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
    OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
    OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  26. Trinity said,

    June 4, 2008 at 17:48

    I just choked on my lunch. Nice.

  27. J— said,

    June 4, 2008 at 17:48

    That picture is funny, but I think a war porn image might suit McCain well.

  28. not even an mba said,

    June 4, 2008 at 17:51

    AJB,
    Man, that’s some classy writing there. No link to the Ms. Magazine article he’s using as the source for his incoherent ramblings. But that’s okay, because he quotes the entirety of it.

  29. PeeJ said,

    June 4, 2008 at 17:53

    Did he look like a scoop of potato salad on a ned of lettuce, or what?

    What: cottage cheese curds in lime jello.

  30. not even an mba said,

    June 4, 2008 at 17:53

    Also note Prager’s point:
    The fact that 90% of teenaged girls report being sexually harassed is more evidence that the white male is the jew of liberal fascism.

  31. Ripley said,

    June 4, 2008 at 17:56

    That’s not your finger? Then what is….. whoooaaaa!!

  32. Ripley said,

    June 4, 2008 at 17:56

    Also, where can I find these “pornos” you speak of?

  33. henry lewis said,

    June 4, 2008 at 17:59

    Contest! Contest!!

    McCain in 2012!

  34. LowerManhattanite said,

    June 4, 2008 at 18:03

    “Given his age, shouldn’t that be a vintage Betty Page bondage clip behind him???”

    I was thinking more like dirty French postcards.

    and it’s stuff like this:

    MileHi Hawkeye said,

    “I iz in ur pron, blockin ur cockz.”

    that keeps me coming back to SadlyNo! every damned day. :)

  35. Legalize said,

    June 4, 2008 at 18:10

    “My friends” takes on a new meaning.

  36. borehole said,

    June 4, 2008 at 18:12

    I was going to take a swipe at McCain, but since I can recognize the girl behind him even at that angle and resolution, perhaps I shan’t be poking fun at others today.

  37. AkaDad said,

    June 4, 2008 at 18:14

    I’m thinking a backdrop of a Wal-Mart entrance.

    “Welcome to Wal-Mart, my friends.”

  38. Rightwingsnarkle said,

    June 4, 2008 at 18:15

    Yes, indeed. I love PhotoShop (scroll)

  39. SpotWeld said,

    June 4, 2008 at 18:24

    Anyone got some good frame grabs from The Rocky Horror Picture Show?

  40. javafascist said,

    June 4, 2008 at 18:38

    I was going to take a swipe at McCain, but since I can recognize the girl behind him even at that angle and resolution, perhaps I shan’t be poking fun at others today.

    I wouldn’t worry about it. All of us regulars know Marie Jon’ and her “O” face.

  41. Lesley said,

    June 4, 2008 at 18:38

    I object to the porn and recommend a backdrop of flying monkeys.

  42. billy pilgrim said,

    June 4, 2008 at 18:42

    did you just make me laugh at a war veteran?

    Yes you did.

  43. DustPuppyOI said,

    June 4, 2008 at 18:43

    No one’s mentioned Jeff Gannon possibilities yet? Ummm… spew.

  44. Arky H8r of VurdPress said,

    June 4, 2008 at 18:43

    1. Here come the heLOLcopters
    2. His TEETH are darker than his skin. That is not a good thing.
    3. What pedestrian said. Use Two Codgers, One Colostomy Bag.
    4. Seriously, dude is fugly. The ReThugs will be forced to go on about the Democratic Pretty Boy which will just call attention to the fact that yes, he is and McCain makes small children cry and wet their pants.

  45. Grand Moff Texan said,

    June 4, 2008 at 18:50

    Good god he looks like some hideous skeletal thingie.

    You mean like this one?
    .

  46. Snorghagen said,

    June 4, 2008 at 18:56

    I object to the porn and recommend a backdrop of flying monkeys.

    Why not both? McCain would look very presidential juxtaposed with some sizzlin’ hot flying monkey porn.

  47. ahem said,

    June 4, 2008 at 19:01

    The Daily Show’s producers thank you, I’d imagine.

    He looks even worse on HD, according to those who endured that speech in 1050i. And it appears that the ‘Saudi national colourscheme’ backdrop is travelling with him.

  48. not even an mba said,

    June 4, 2008 at 19:01

    Oooh, maybe too subtle, but if you’ve still got PS open, here’s a great photo of Andy Rooney you could use.
    Note to RB, I’ve Rooney-ed this thread.

  49. Caitlin Sith said,

    June 4, 2008 at 19:02

    “Putting a porn background on my picture…THAT’S not change we can believe in [sudden rictus, 143 echoing claps]“

  50. Iris said,

    June 4, 2008 at 19:06

    I thought McCain gave an excellent speech last night, highlighting just how wrong it is that the Democrat Party has become invested with misogynistic Obots who have sought to squash the democratic process at every turn. He showed that he is a man of great character, and one who will come to rely on our votes- those who have been disenfranchised during the primary process by Obama and his Beltway cartel. Clearly McCain understands and honors the beating hart of the Democrat soul, that historic and vibrant combination of Reagan Democrats and the hard-working Americans of Appalachia. Only by respecting these voting groups can one win the election. McCain understands this. Sadly, Obama does not, and it’s at his peril.

  51. not even an mba said,

    June 4, 2008 at 19:09

    Wait, Iris is Harold Ford?

  52. Jody C said,

    June 4, 2008 at 19:09

    The green is just a rebranding attempt they’ve used before – straight from Schwarzenegger’s re-election. http://www.joinarnold.com
    http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2006/06/09/BAGU3JBH541.DTL

    CAMPAIGN 2006: Gubernatorial Race
    Schwarzenegger adjusts image, message to voters
    Governor offers praise for Democrats, repaints patriotic-colored bus green

    Carla Marinucci, Chronicle Political Writer

    Friday, June 9, 2006
    Printable Version
    Email This Article
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    Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger speaks to a crowd at a town ha…
    Primary Election 2006

    Dellums still holds slim lead (6/9)

    Schwarzenegger adjusts image (6/9)

    Challenge for Angelides is to sell tax boost to a reluctant electorate (6/8)

    Angelides opens campaign after joining Westly in a unity pledge (6/8)

    How the campaign will shape up (6/8)

    Dellums leads, but counting not over (6/8)

    GOP barely retains key San Diego House seat (6/8)

    Saunders: Primary or purgatory? (6/8)

    Pombo basks in his decisive victory (6/8)

    Preschool supporters aren’t giving up on their quest (6/8)

    Library bond failure forces cities to drop plans or seek other funds (6/8)

    Alameda County has plan to speed paper balloting (6/8)

    Chavez, Reed vie for SJ mayor (6/8)

    Big regional projects hit by the defeat of transit tax measures (6/8)

    Oakland, Tamalpais districts win big with bond measures (6/8)

    Albany mall opponents qualify initiative for fall ballot (6/8)

    Politics Blog
    Chronicle political writers offer news and analysis on California’s upcoming election.

    SFGate Politics page

    In the world of advertising, which is as cutthroat as politics, the effort under way for Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger is called “rebranding” — the sometimes-elusive effort to revive and reposition a familiar product so it will sell, sell, sell to new consumers.

    In California’s political world, no single brand name comes as close to being recognized as “Schwarzenegger.” This week, from the bingo-parlor/VFW Post 435 in Antioch to the Little League field in Auburn to the famous Samoa Cookhouse near Eureka, Californians are seeing the new, improved and thoroughly rebranded Schwarzenegger on display.

    The desperate and negative feel of last year’s disastrous special election campaign has been jettisoned — along with the distance from people, protesters and journalists.

    Also retooled is the California governor’s right-tilted partisan GOP identity: In the course of an hour’s stopover, Schwarzenegger not only lavishly praised Democrats for working with him in Sacramento, but also said when it comes to campaign help from the White House, it’s practically thanks, but no thanks, President Bush.

    “I don’t need anyone to campaign with me,” Schwarzenegger said. “This is all between me and the people of California.”

    Republicans seem to like what they see, especially when they think of their man coming up against Democratic nominee Phil Angelides, the state treasurer.

    “It’s low tax, high charisma against high tax, low charisma,” crowed Tom Del Beccaro, head of the state GOP chairmen’s association of the coming campaign between Schwarzenegger and Angelides.

    They also liked the new themes, the new colors, the new upbeat language — including the new, streamlined campaign logo: simply “Schwarzenegger,” in 3-foot letters on his green campaign bus, adorned with panoramic scenes of the state.

    “They’re letting Arnold be Arnold — and that is something,” said Duf Sundheim, the California Republican Party chairman who traveled this week with the governor on his campaign bus. “He’s loving it, and the people are loving it.”

    Schwarzenegger’s poll numbers dived throughout last year’s unpopular special election campaign but have rebounded in the first six months of this year as the governor focused on bipartisan issues such as improving transportation and strengthening levees against earthquakes and other potential disasters.

    Sundheim credits the new campaign team — headed by former White House insiders Steve Schmidt and Matthew Dowd — for “doing an amazing job enabling the people of California to see who this guy really is.”

    Bob Mullholland, the chief strategist for Democratic candidate Angelides, said voters will see through the “Hollywood smoke and mirrors. They can repackage him all they want. You know, if a fish smells, you can’t repackage it.”

    He argues that voters are seeing another political reincarnation, “the fourth or fifth attempt — and it hasn’t worked so far. I mean, how many makeup artists will Schwarzenegger have before he realizes — most Californians don’t like him as governor?”

    But Dowd, the governor’s strategist, said the effort is not about reinventing — but about being true to the candidate.

    “It’s not a rebranding. It’s just we’re in an election year; we’re past what happened last year,” he said. “When you do campaigns, you want to make campaigns authentic to the person … and I think there was probably a time that seemed not natural last year.”

    Among the imagery and details of the California governor’s pitch to voters:

    – The theme: “Protecting the California Dream,” chosen because it communicates “who he is: It’s the dream of an immigrant … the dream of anybody in California to have a job, to be educated,” Dowd said. “And … protecting the good life here. We have it, we can’t assume it will always be there. It goes to his strength.”

    – The colors: Gone are the patriotic red, white and blue of the last campaign, “Join Arnold!” An early decision for hard-core red as the dominant tone was nixed in favor of a color that’s striking and standout: green, a color associated with the outdoors, the environment, something fresh and friendly. Comfort and coincidence? It’s also the same color scheme as the flag of his home state of Styria, Austria.

    – The venues: Meticulously created photo opportunities, each telling a story. Take the VFW hall in Antioch on Thursday — where a huge lighted bingo board was positioned on the wall as a backdrop for the candidate and the 11 TV cameras and dozen still photographers shooting away. The location said, “This is a place you all know, a place where people really live, work and play.”

    – The candidate’s message: “Promises made, promises kept” and “moving the state forward” were phrases repeated religiously. Schwarzenegger also dismissed Angelides’ policies as passe: “I don’t believe in (a) recipe and prescription that have failed. Those are some recipes from 2 1/2 years ago that did this state in.”

    – The crowds: The Arnold people are still calling them “town hall meetings,” suggesting they are open to the world. Maybe — but locations and invitations are still closely guarded. Devi Lanphere, president of the Antioch Chamber of Commerce, said the guest list for Thursday’s event was the responsibility of a local GOP Assembly candidate, Arnie Simonsen, with help from the chamber.

    “We kept it kind of quiet. … It was very difficult to keep the secret,” she said.

  53. noen said,

    June 4, 2008 at 19:10

    You know, the problem is that an image like that could actually work in favor of McCain in a viral way. It lends him a kind of virility. Ya gotta watch that subtext. Maybe propping him up next to some pics from Gitmo would be better.

  54. Snort said,

    June 4, 2008 at 19:10

    …shan’t be poking fun at others today.

    Um, isn’t that already happening in the shot?

  55. liveinvt said,

    June 4, 2008 at 19:11

    I foresaw this post.

  56. not even an mba said,

    June 4, 2008 at 19:13

    Hey, if you guys are still looking for more p-shop ideas, I’ve got two words for you: Lynndie England.

  57. Snort said,

    June 4, 2008 at 19:13

    At his age, I doubt that scene is central to his point.

  58. stryx said,

    June 4, 2008 at 19:26

    “Lemon party” enters the mainstream.

  59. justme said,

    June 4, 2008 at 19:39

    well, somebody had to do it.

  60. justme said,

    June 4, 2008 at 19:42

    Also, did nobody bother to tell him he was going to be using a green backdrop? That tie would be hideous enough in the “normal” red, white and blue disaster that is political America. But with green?

  61. jim said,

    June 4, 2008 at 19:43

    Watch it – those 2 nice folks in the background might sue you for defamation of character.

    Wow … it really DOES look like the GOP dragged their hooks along the bottom of a lake to get this guy.
    My preference would be “Night Of The Living Dead” as a backdrop.
    Vote Zombie in 2008: BRAAAAIIIINNNSSSSS!

  62. Dean Booth said,

    June 4, 2008 at 20:15

    Tales from McCain

  63. Sasha said,

    June 4, 2008 at 20:30

    FARK???

  64. Lesley said,

    June 4, 2008 at 20:48

    Iris is filling Saul’s douchetroll spot.

  65. pedestrian said,

    June 4, 2008 at 20:50

    Yeah, that was real smooth, the way McCain gushed about what a nice lady Hillary is and how attractive her supporters are.

    Obama should counter by complimenting the business acumen of Romney voters and the home cooking of Mrs Huckabee.

  66. tb said,

    June 4, 2008 at 21:06

    Whoa-ho yeahh. I think I’ve found my new hobby.

  67. Itchy Brother said,

    June 4, 2008 at 21:32

    Is it just me or does McCain’s face look like something out of a Tim Burton horror animation? That smile creeps me out.

  68. fauxmaxbaer said,

    June 4, 2008 at 21:56

    Iris is filling Saul’s douchetroll spot.

    Did that drivel (complete with the adjective Democrat) come from McCain’s website?

  69. Dobby said,

    June 4, 2008 at 22:15

    but since I can recognize the girl behind him even at that angle and resolution

    I though the same thing when I saw PamAtlas behind McCain.

  70. Smut Clyde said,

    June 4, 2008 at 22:27

    Given his age, shouldn’t that be a vintage Betty Page bondage clip behind him???
    I suspect that this is what you have in mind.

  71. Rightwingsnarkle said,

    June 4, 2008 at 22:51

    Wow, thanks for teh traffic.

    FWIW, I revised the Photoshopped image of McCain squeezing a turd from his mouth by adding the tongue and teeth, as well as showing a break in the turd (due to its large size). I suppose I could also add a brown smudge, caused by the falling half of the turd as it hits his necktie, but then again, I could spend all day doing this and still leave plenty of needed tweaks.

    It’s time to go out and save some lives!!!11!

  72. website design said,

    June 4, 2008 at 23:01

    Really good work. I found a lot of profound information which can help me to go on.

  73. justme said,

    June 4, 2008 at 23:17

    Clyde, do-able, but this seems somehow even more appropriate.

    RWS, if you’re feeling industrious, you could re-purpose this one for the good guys, using the correct personage.

  74. MadRaven said,

    June 4, 2008 at 23:27

    holy crap, i just realized what he reminded me of…the creepy preacher character in those crappy sequels to Poltergeist

  75. Smut Clyde said,

    June 4, 2008 at 23:46

    That smile creeps me out.
    I can see McCain’s campaign leading to a revival of interest in old Conrad Veidt movies.

    holy crap, i just realized what he reminded me of
    I get more of a Chatterer Cenobite vibe. That’s possibly due to justme’s Bosch photoshop.

  76. MadRaven said,

    June 5, 2008 at 0:51

    true that… Preacher-creature or Chatterer that man has one horrific rictus of a smile

  77. Balloon Juice said,

    June 5, 2008 at 0:56

    [...] to ABC News:Sen. Hillary Clinton will hold an event with supporters by Friday, likely ending her historic bid [...]

  78. justme said,

    June 5, 2008 at 1:18

    Bacon, anyone?

    A shame it only works in context, though.

    There’s a Belsinski in here somewhere, too.

  79. Jo Fish said,

    June 5, 2008 at 1:44

    Wanna bet that there’s a staffer somewhere looking for a new job after coming up with the Liesure Suit Larry background o’porn? LOL.

  80. Smut Clyde said,

    June 5, 2008 at 2:15

    If people were to attend the next McCain public meeting, wearing Chatterer Cenobite masks en masse, I for one would feel obliged to deplore their incivility.

  81. Doctorb said,

    June 5, 2008 at 2:32

    WTF happened to his jowls? I thought they looked terrible, but now I wish he had them again.

    http://www.dymaxionweb.com/kulturedrome/Crypt%20Keeper.jpg

  82. not even an mba said,

    June 5, 2008 at 2:34

    justme,
    I’m still waiting for the Edvard Munch.

  83. not even an mba said,

    June 5, 2008 at 2:38

    I finally managed to block McCain out enough to get a better look at that background and, unless that woman has a spine designed by Chris Muir, that guy’s poking her in the belly button. No wonder she looks so uncomfortable.

  84. Doctorb said,

    June 5, 2008 at 2:38

    Whoops, Dean’s way ahead of me on that.

    Anyway, Crypt-Keeper, who do you like for President?

    AHAHAHAHAHA! I LIKE GORE!!!!

  85. Funkula said,

    June 5, 2008 at 4:13

    Is that…Kevin Nealon?

  86. justme said,

    June 5, 2008 at 4:50

    Ze Munch, it is easy.

    And I threatened a Beksinski, didn’t I? Sort of a composite, the first one didn’t have enough background, but I think it works rather nicely.

  87. justme said,

    June 5, 2008 at 5:44

    MUCH better with the earlier banner. This might make the Bacon work, too.

  88. ahem said,

    June 5, 2008 at 5:47

    And the Colbert Report provides: it’s putting up the footage for a green-screen challenge.

  89. lobbey said,

    June 5, 2008 at 5:51

    Old Dennis drifts into the old, all white men are harrassed, thats why they are marrying Thais/Filipinnos/etc/etc. Thats the problem with feminism, Dennis is pissed at his wife asking him to pick up his dirty socks once in a while, unlike some Thai babe, who’ll pick up his socks and spunky underware every da, for the rest of his life…

    And third, “Latina and Asian American girls reported less sexual harassment than the other girls who participated in the study.” One wonders whether this is one reason increasing numbers of American men seek Latina and Asian American women for marriage. Women who have been less influenced by feminism probably appreciate men more.

  90. FMguru said,

    June 5, 2008 at 7:12

    Put some zig-zaggy neon lines behind him, and you’ve just recreated Max Headroom.

  91. Zarquon said,

    June 5, 2008 at 9:00

    Speaking of special effects: Chris Muir model found

  92. Lance Jones said,

    June 5, 2008 at 10:45

    Baby Jesus just smiled. God bless you, sir / mam.

  93. Lance Jones said,

    June 5, 2008 at 10:45

    Obama ’08!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  94. John thomas said,

    June 5, 2008 at 13:42

    LOL, what a great place for him to be. Gosh I love Photoshop!

    JT
    http://www.FireMe.To/udi

  95. PA said,

    June 5, 2008 at 14:15

    Maybe it’s my porn addiction talking but find myself suddenly wanting to endorsing him.

  96. not even an mba said,

    June 5, 2008 at 16:23

    Zarquon,
    I’ve heard of putting staples into your stomach to make you thinner, but who knew you could get such an extreme effect by taking them out! (and yes I appreciate that Maxim Mexico is probably bound with some sort of illegal immigrant agave glue and not staples)
    The caption is hilarious. Seriously, is anything more beautiful than “semiotic blancmange of post-structural teakettle barbecue hatstand fishmonger”?

  97. justme said,

    June 5, 2008 at 17:05

    The fact is, “semiotic blancmange of post-structural teakettle barbecue hatstand fishmonger” is central to my point.

  98. Michael said,

    June 5, 2008 at 17:36

    Colbert did that last night, except not with porn. Wish I could find a clip.

  99. ahem said,

    June 5, 2008 at 19:58

    Wish I could find a clip.

    Here?

  100. "Oh Stewardess, I Speak 'Nut" said,

    June 6, 2008 at 15:31

    Hundredth!

    Jeez, McCain looks really old.

  101. bughunter said,

    June 6, 2008 at 19:12

    bravo!! @ justme

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