Anyway, he’s a dipstick. I love that his opening paragraphs can be summarised thusly:

Obama is a fool; Memorial Day isn’t about veterans; it’s about war dead. It only serves to honor those who have lost everything to war.

And how dare Obama act like Memorial Day is about victims?

And, incidentally, George W. has NO FUCKING PLACE memorializing dead soldiers. If I had my way, no President who sent us to war would ever again stand in front of us and tell us how sad it is that people die in war. Bush’s speech was a bunch of Imperialist crap about how heroic and necessary war is. Fuck him, and fuck Assrocket for praising him.

What’s the difference between Rush Limbaugh and the Hindenburg?

One’s a flaming Nazi gasbag and the other’s a dirigible.

I also find it both insanely humerous and plain insane that these folks who, after campaigning for George Bush for 8 years, election or no, are finally sick and tired of gaffes, misspoken words, Orwellian doublespeak, personality cults and the dangers of a presidential candidate who softsells a radical agenda. Thus, they could never vote for a Democrat.

Maybe it is just a side effect of that time I was abducted by aliens. Or something.

He continued with a town hall-style question and answer period that cast veterans in the only role with which the Democrats are comfortable–victims–and sought to politicize the holiday.

Bah, you’re all just too dumb to understand the brilliance of the Derriere Dvina, the Fundament Fireflash, the Arse ASRAAM. Through his deep understanding of quantum mechanics he has come to the conclusion that things aren’t actually problems until someone talks about them. Walter Reed? Until some idiot opened that black box it existed both as fucked up and not fucked up, but some moonbat had to go and collapse the wavefunction, and we all know how that worked out. See, if observation affects the observed, then it follows that observing something makes it your fault. If you were really the patriots you claimed to be, you’d spend all day with your head up your buttocks, just like the heroic Rectum Rapier.

I probably would. I watch Mythbusters!

I love it!

Weapon of ass destruction?

On the contrary, the family farm will be funnier. Laconic yokels used to “yep” will soon be provided with the extra syllables required for “yepperino” and “I reckon” might become “Plain as the ass on your face.”

Another possibility: Rectocet (a.k.a. Rectal Exocet).

But seriously. That shit only works when there’s some small kernel of plausibility — Kerry didn’t knee Rove in the balls because it was beneath him, Gore talked to people like they were reasonably intelligent, Dean was loathed by the media — combined with the idea that the other guy offers something different (like common guy cowardice and intellectual atrophy).

The “Obama is Gaffe Prone” gambit is just FUCKING STUPID. I know this is free advice to my mortal enemies, but thankfully, they’ll ignore it. McCain’s an old man prone to “episodes” that make Donald Rumsfeld sound like Nietzche, while the current occupant of the oval office has five volumes of work dedicated to the fact that he couldn’t say “The cat is in the tree” even if you spotted him the pictures.

When your party polls around 25% I understand that things are limited — but when even the diehard 25 percenters have internalized the fact that Obama is an elitist Ivy League smart guy and slick talker (if terribly, terribly black), no one is buying the slander.

Comedy Socialism!

Comedy Communism!

Erm…Commudeyism!