24
The Wingnuts Need Our Help
Gavin’s discovery that there is a person who calls himself the ‘Purple Avenger’ has left me wistful for those heady days of the first Bush term, when every other day a new warblogger with an appallingly stupid nom de blog would appear on the scene.
Back then, we had the good fortune to be regularly introduced to a brand new Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiller or Lt. Smash, to marvel at the misfiring synapses of anyone who would voluntarily refer to themselves as Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant, Sgt. Stryker or Steven den Beste. We scarcely knew how good we had it back then. These days, the fresh crop of wingnuts is far more likely to just use their real name to blog, and while ‘Don Surber’ may be sort of silly-sounding, it just can’t hold a candle to the various ‘Morgoth the Moonbat-Slayers’ of our not-so-distant past.
So when a Purple Avenger comes along, it’s worth a few chuckles but at a considerable price. You see, when the laughter subsides, we’re left with the depressing realization that it could be months before someone as ridiculous brightens our day again, and that the comedic oil boom of 2001-2004 may never come again.
I miss those days, I really do, and all this got me to thinking that it may just be that wingnut bloggers, never terribly imaginative to begin with, have simply run out of ideas for silly, cartoonishly violent pen names. Which is sad, but which also presents us with an opportunity. Maybe all that’s needed is for us to give the current batch of rightwing bloggers a wee nudge in the proper direction, to re-attach the training wheels on their propensity for the broadest possible self-aggrandizement.
I hereby propose we offer the wingnutosphere, free of charge, the finest, silliest, violentist and most egregiously phallic-sounding noms de blog the nimble readers of this blog can dream up. A few to get us started:
- Crimson Vindicator
- Rear Admiral
- Archduke Von Armchair, Battle Orderist
- Viscount Longrod McFuckrapekill
- Plumpcheeks Bill, Libtard’s Bane
- Flextor Warpling’s Liege
- Murdertron IV: The Reckoning
- Cap’n Nanopundit
- Corporal TacNukeSysConDef (r’tired)
- Dick ‘Cock’ Dickcockdickfuck
Have at it!
Smut Clyde said,
May 24, 2008 at 2:09
Nothing involving ‘Herr’ or ‘Doktor’, please.
Ken said,
May 24, 2008 at 2:10
Manny McDickslap
Purple Nurple Avengerer
Overcompensatus Maximus
Nimrod Gently said,
May 24, 2008 at 2:11
Heterosexual McButtsecks
Ken said,
May 24, 2008 at 2:12
Captain SEE DAD YOU WERE WRONG
Nimrod Gently said,
May 24, 2008 at 2:13
Superman Q. Batman
Gundamhead said,
May 24, 2008 at 2:16
Dark Paladin Leonidas Rambo The Murdermaster, Worlds Deadliest Man (with a +20 soul devouring enchanted Claymore)
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
May 24, 2008 at 2:20
CRAFR EAHOU of the planet xanax!
(OK, back to the drawing board. Can I use Bimler, SC?)
Nerf said,
May 24, 2008 at 2:21
Assman Smothers
Tudball Von Hugenstein
Jack Assblaster
SamFromUtah said,
May 24, 2008 at 2:21
Libertarius ShadowLord von BloodNGuts™
tigrismus said,
May 24, 2008 at 2:22
Studs McManly. No, wait, Herr Doktor Studs McManly…
EnfantTerrible said,
May 24, 2008 at 2:22
It all kinda went downhill after “Hindrocket”, didn’t it?
mikey said,
May 24, 2008 at 2:24
Sgt. Poopindirt.
“There I was. KNEE deep in grenade pins. Had fifty caliber brass piled up around my thighs. And still the kept coming. At one point we had sappers in the wire. I picked up three claymores in each hand and triggered ‘em with my feet like shotguns.
I couldn’t get good comms with TacAir, so when the F16s made their low nape run I jumped up on the wing and hollered into the cockpit. I guided the pilot on a half dozen bombing and strafing runs against the troops massed on the southwest wall.
Then I led a night sapper team of our own out to take out Col. Asahi and his Silver Soldiers, an al-Quaeda special ops unit. I’ll tell ya, it was a near run thing. But in the end, we killed eleven hundred of their best fighters and got two pretty bad owies ourselves…”
mikey
Ken said,
May 24, 2008 at 2:25
Ace of Sporks
Majestic Mr. Moneyshot
Blogger Gerald, Whose Girlfriend Is Totally Hot But is in Canada Right Now
Jacoby Ellsbury said,
May 24, 2008 at 2:25
The Wankeress
SamFromUtah said,
May 24, 2008 at 2:26
It all kinda went downhill after “Hindrocket”, didn’t it?
Yes, and I was really surprised there was any downhill to go to from there.
fardels bear said,
May 24, 2008 at 2:27
The Eradicator!
http://youtube.com/watch?v=g8f23IRy554
Clutch414 said,
May 24, 2008 at 2:28
Col. Wetsuit Von Dildoinrectum, Defender of Family Values and Slayer of Libtards
Nimrod Gently said,
May 24, 2008 at 2:28
It’s like City of Heroes.
Sgt. Mac Fists (and his Shrieking Guerrillas)
The Mighty Dan
Punchford McJesus
Captain America Times A Million
Rock Hardbuttock
Slab Bulkhead
Fridge Largemeat
Dick Hardpec
Buff Drinklots
Big McLargeHuge
Bob Johnson
or, Sir Nigel Fuck.
Legalize said,
May 24, 2008 at 2:29
Baron von Cock n Balls
Staff Seargent Hemroid
Ricky Muscles
Homo Eroticus
and of course
Bigus Dickus and his wife Incontenentia Buttocks
SamFromUtah said,
May 24, 2008 at 2:32
Freedom Freedom Freedom Victoriator SupportTheTroops Traitorhater
Clutch414 said,
May 24, 2008 at 2:33
The Public Bathroom Cassanova
Nimrod Gently said,
May 24, 2008 at 2:33
ROLL FIZZLEBEEF
povertyrich said,
May 24, 2008 at 2:35
Buttocks Unremarkable
Michelle Malkin
Clutch414 said,
May 24, 2008 at 2:36
Pasty White Defender
Jennifer said,
May 24, 2008 at 2:39
Juan Hugh Jorgan
Mr. Wonderful said,
May 24, 2008 at 2:39
Pessimus Prime, Realitor
Liege Lord Lief N. Lawnbags
The Triumphette
Lord Excellento, He of the Magnus Terribilis
His Supremacy Hi N. Mightee Nee El Fancee-Pantz
Teh Devastatrix
Milton Friedman’s Sister
Angus McLibslayer, Dread Scot
Blue Buddha said,
May 24, 2008 at 2:39
Lord Spatula! I remember listening to his music when I was younger.
“Play dat ting mon!”
Snorghagen said,
May 24, 2008 at 2:39
Lance Porkmaster
The Wrath of Lubbock
Captain Tightsphincter
Waldo Conelrad
Flint Redblood
Timmy Godzilla
The Gnarled Fist of Doom
Alfred Krupp
Cal Egula
Lord Manwad
Fuckyou F. Fuckyou
Eater of Poodles
Percy ‘Mad Dog’ Plumflute
Clutch414 said,
May 24, 2008 at 2:39
Stabby McSlash?
That was my Paladin’s name from Daiblo II. I’m almost emabrassed at how much it sounds like a wingnut’s screen name.
Nimrod Gently said,
May 24, 2008 at 2:40
Christian Fuckmuslims
Johnny Michelle’sDestiny
Smut Clyde said,
May 24, 2008 at 2:41
Can I use Bimler, SC?
Only if you want to create the impression of pedantic, pretentious wankery.
The Eradicator!
If that’s a doppelbock, I so want a bottle.
Righteous Bubba said,
May 24, 2008 at 2:47
Skullfuck O’Property
Principal Blackman said,
May 24, 2008 at 2:50
Little Lord Fondleroy
Manifest Nexttome
Screaming Lord Putz
John O said,
May 24, 2008 at 2:55
For the female wingnuts: Skanenstein.
Freudian Buttsexisbad?
John O said,
May 24, 2008 at 2:57
Shit. SkanKenstein.
Dan Someone said,
May 24, 2008 at 2:58
Gen. Buck Turgidson (with apologies to Kubrick, but it’s the perfect wingnut name)
Mort Darthur
The Executionizer
Professore Enormo Genitalia
The Tangerine Wet Dream
Snorghagen said,
May 24, 2008 at 2:59
Vinnie Testosteroni
The Righteous Flaming Turgid Penis of God Almighty
Projectile Vomit
Liberty’s Bulging Codpiece
Tank McBlast
Santanica Pandemonium
Rory Wusspeen
Leopold the Magnificent
Sven Nukeson
The Paisley Sword of Vengeance
El Supremo Grande
Stubby Cheesewang, Lord of the Steppes
Legalize said,
May 24, 2008 at 3:01
God damn, this is funny shit.
Twisted_Colour said,
May 24, 2008 at 3:03
Tinky Winky
John O said,
May 24, 2008 at 3:04
Needapenisextender.
Twisted_Colour said,
May 24, 2008 at 3:06
Johnny Codpiece, Patriot.
kentm said,
May 24, 2008 at 3:08
“foehammers anvil”
oh wait, that’s TOO silly, it would never go.
Righteous Bubba said,
May 24, 2008 at 3:10
Ludwig von Missiles
John O said,
May 24, 2008 at 3:12
Smallrichardsmeannothing.
Lubeismeaningless.
K Y Patriot.
Blood The Hardon.
Drolfe said,
May 24, 2008 at 3:14
Large Hardon Collider.
(Maybe not anti-intellectual enough?)
Smut Clyde said,
May 24, 2008 at 3:15
Dolorous Weedeater.
Righteous Bubba said,
May 24, 2008 at 3:18
ULuvMyHummer
John O said,
May 24, 2008 at 3:21
Loved that one, RB.
In honor of Ann Coulter: Reluctant McCainacunt.
Legalize said,
May 24, 2008 at 3:22
Charles Krathammer
Matt T. said,
May 24, 2008 at 3:30
Lord Belchenbarf
John O said,
May 24, 2008 at 3:31
Money is God.
John O said,
May 24, 2008 at 3:33
Apocalypse Now.
John O said,
May 24, 2008 at 3:36
Maybe better: Apocalypse(k)now(s).
Snorghagen said,
May 24, 2008 at 3:38
Fleck Spittle
Hank Husselhoff, Satan’s CPA
Shriek Psychowhack
Eric Bloodaxe, Foe of Poopheads
Ivan the Unmedicated
The Raging Hurricane of Enraged Rage
The Flying Loogie
Thunderloon
Freedom’s Orgasm
Chomp Turdbiter
Eagle Fury
Rip Velcro, Nemesis of Evil
The Mighty DryHeave
Gary Ruppert said,
May 24, 2008 at 3:41
The fact is, Lord Knobrammer.
Righteous Bubba said,
May 24, 2008 at 3:48
http://www.arsydd.btinternet.co.uk/pics/creampuff.jpg
Jennifer said,
May 24, 2008 at 3:49
Admiral Foreskin
John O said,
May 24, 2008 at 3:50
Big Brown.
borehole said,
May 24, 2008 at 3:51
fistifist*
thesaurius
m0y3rzh@+er
*it’s a play on “pacifist,” STUPID LIBWADS
John O said,
May 24, 2008 at 3:52
Dr. Richard Stiff.
Andy said,
May 24, 2008 at 3:53
Miles Long.
Hetero Erectus.
John O said,
May 24, 2008 at 3:53
Libwadian Nation.
John O said,
May 24, 2008 at 3:56
Peace hates Jesus.
Gundamhead said,
May 24, 2008 at 3:57
Captain Jack Splatterfist, American Ninja.
Colonel Colt Browning, Homeland Protector.
Major Damage, Counter Jihadist.
Sgt. Johnny Youngblood, Patriot.
John O said,
May 24, 2008 at 3:57
ChristianDeathLove
Michael said,
May 24, 2008 at 3:58
Suggestion for an intern at Powerline:
Meatpacker
ImJohnGalt said,
May 24, 2008 at 3:58
Why is it that we never read about “peak wingnut”?
How did we miss it?
tigrismus said,
May 24, 2008 at 3:58
Ooh, Jennifer, how about Admiral Foeskin?
John O said,
May 24, 2008 at 3:59
JesusisDeath.
Gundamhead said,
May 24, 2008 at 4:02
IZLAM Faggrt WIF NIFE i CUT U HEAD!!1!!1
John O said,
May 24, 2008 at 4:03
FistingforSatan.
Righteous Bubba said,
May 24, 2008 at 4:06
FuckThoseFags
El Cid said,
May 24, 2008 at 4:08
Ragevein Throbshaft.
John O said,
May 24, 2008 at 4:10
Heywood Janotblowme, Esq.
Thesetehgaykeepblowingme.
SJohn said,
May 24, 2008 at 4:11
Baron McCock
(get it? get it?)
John O said,
May 24, 2008 at 4:11
Throbbing Member of the GOP.
Michael said,
May 24, 2008 at 4:13
Hughes Manhands
Jack Chick Hawke
Richard Perle Necklace
John O said,
May 24, 2008 at 4:13
Yes, I did, SJohn, and I’m still laughing about it.
El Cid said,
May 24, 2008 at 4:16
Ferdinand of Fucking Aragon Taking Back Granada You Filthy God-Damned Muslim Cocksuckers.
SJohn said,
May 24, 2008 at 4:17
Thanks John. BTW, I’d say “K Y Patriot” is definitely a keeper, although I’m also disturbingly fond of “FistingForSatan”.
Mmm, fisting for Satan!
SamFromUtah said,
May 24, 2008 at 4:19
Ludwig von Missiles
Waaaaaahahahahaa! I was trying to think of some way of capturing the glibertarian laissez-faire and war fetish and you nailed it, nailed it, nailed it. Bravo!
John O said,
May 24, 2008 at 4:23
It’s a goddamn funny thread. I’m overly multitasking, trying to stop laughing, keep reading, and watch “There Will Be Blood” on the Great Tube of Learning.
I think I’m going to have to watch it again.
This is frankly more fun.
Snorghagen said,
May 24, 2008 at 4:23
Jesus Kalashnikov
Oleg the Fierce, Protector of Woodlawn Heights
Harry Chestmuscle
Pious Jackboot
Wank Anger
Genghis Blutarsky
Phallus Impudicas
Servile Henchman
Slash Smashknuckle
Little Bennie Mussolini
Der Uber-Pube
Rigidly Upstanding Citizen
Empowered Dumbfuck
smut clyde said,
May 24, 2008 at 4:23
Stag Held’s Truncheon
[Thread needs more Iron Dream references]
Michael said,
May 24, 2008 at 4:24
Guy Karate
John O said,
May 24, 2008 at 4:24
Just for the record, SJohn, IMO PhistingforSatan woulda been funnier.
Michael said,
May 24, 2008 at 4:25
Or Ty Karate…
El Cid said,
May 24, 2008 at 4:30
Wigginz the Ender Packer.
John O said,
May 24, 2008 at 4:31
BushsucksbutnotthePresident.
Gary Ruppert said,
May 24, 2008 at 4:31
The fact is, Miss Maglawang.
protected static said,
May 24, 2008 at 4:32
Captain Klinefelter
protected static said,
May 24, 2008 at 4:34
It’s no Ludwig von Missles, but how about…
Murder Rothbard
John O said,
May 24, 2008 at 4:39
Republicans for Malkin Hate.
John O said,
May 24, 2008 at 4:42
An obvious one: Rich Whitey Is Better.
Michael said,
May 24, 2008 at 4:45
Glenn Reynolds Beckrocket
Michael said,
May 24, 2008 at 4:47
and, one more:
Werner von weiß
John O said,
May 24, 2008 at 4:47
Rich Whitey is my name, bitches?
Righteous Bubba said,
May 24, 2008 at 4:50
Attackitus
Snorghagen said,
May 24, 2008 at 5:06
The Rabid Pug of Retribution
Global Thermonuclear Toughguy
Unhinged and Proud of It
Patriotic Zombie
Freedom’s Shit-Flinger
Groveling Loser for Bush
Crush the Weak
Mark Noonan Is My Lord
The Apostle of Fear
The Barking Earthworm
Manly Sniveler
Fats Durston said,
May 24, 2008 at 5:32
Pol Pot-Head.
No, wait, that would be a murderous hippy.
Doctorb said,
May 24, 2008 at 5:34
I just thought I’d take this moment to fess up to having used the names:
Flint Ironstag
Slate Slabrock
Dirk Hardpecs
Big McLargehuge
Stud Beefpile
and
Doctorb Science
on this blog.
plutocrat said,
May 24, 2008 at 5:35
Ragevein Throbshaft
FTW
Doctorb said,
May 24, 2008 at 5:36
Oh hey, Nimrod. I should also fess up that those are all from MST3K, for those who don’t know. Which I guess means that some of them were probably personally thought up by an actual right-winger.
Except “Doctorb Science”, which is just the guy from “Ask Dr. Science” combined with Dr Nick Riviera’s phone number (the “b” stands for “bargain”).
I need a new name.
Twisted_Colour said,
May 24, 2008 at 5:38
Bear Hunter
jim said,
May 24, 2008 at 5:38
Conservatron
monkey knife fight said,
May 24, 2008 at 5:44
Here are many great names to choose from:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RFHlJ2voJHY
SomeNYGuy said,
May 24, 2008 at 5:48
Something really phallic and violent like “Dick Armey” or even “Dick Lugar” might be hilarious.
Huh? They’re what?!?!?
Thursday said,
May 24, 2008 at 5:54
Bush4Evers
Libsmack
FagsAreGay
BlueEyedJesus
SmrterThanStupid
Candy said,
May 24, 2008 at 5:57
The Odour of the Garter
Lord Poodle of Pudly
Gattling Gunns & Roses
Poop by Proxy
Torturous Logic
The War Monger
One Hand Clapping
Oath to Jonah
God’s Mighty Wanker
I’m way too tired to be attempting creativity, even of this limited sort.
Clutch414 said,
May 24, 2008 at 6:02
Rear Admiral Cock Punch
Doctorb said,
May 24, 2008 at 6:04
Destroyer of Dhummicraps
Reagan R. McReagan
Obligate Carnivore
CuRbStoMpEr
Darth Steyn
Achilles’ BFF Patroclus, Who Is Totally Hetero and Has, Like, Ten Girlfriends
(no wait, twenty)
Rod of Lordly Might
Charlemagne Krauthammer
Zorgonoxx the Night-Reaver (of Doom)
Lee Greenwood’s Boot
+5 Holy Avenger (Double Damage vs Liberals)
Strikebreaker Pinkerton Jr
Superbus Q. Classicus
I Didn’t Fight The Japs In Dubya-Dubya-Eye-Eye So a Bunch of Pansies Could Parade Around In Cutoffs And Aviator Sunglasses And Get the Hell Off My Lawn
Manley M. Mantooth
Rabbi Saul Reaganovitch
Sausage Lover’s Buffet
Real War Vet Who Was a Sniper in the Navy S.E.A.L.S And Shot, Like, A Hundred Dudes in the Face, Honest
Armchair Meatrammer
Foe-Crusher, Scourge of the Saracens
Blackwater Crusader
Michelle Malkin’s Army
Firm Truncheon of Justice
and my fave:
William B. Fuckley
Righteous Bubba said,
May 24, 2008 at 6:06
William F. Buckskin
Righteous Bubba said,
May 24, 2008 at 6:07
I swear I didn’t see yours Doctorb!
Righteous Bubba said,
May 24, 2008 at 6:08
Operation Hindcrime
Righteous Bubba said,
May 24, 2008 at 6:26
Penetrationist 1st Class
smut clyde said,
May 24, 2008 at 6:35
Thermonuclear Buttplug
Smegmatic Sock-Puppet
If it’s true-confessions time, I’ve been Abdul al-Hazmat once or twice.
Righteous Bubba said,
May 24, 2008 at 6:43
Phrases of Death
Righteous Bubba said,
May 24, 2008 at 6:45
I may use The Raging Hurricane of Enraged Rage.
Roger Miller said,
May 24, 2008 at 6:46
Maple Surple Avenger
Righteous Bubba said,
May 24, 2008 at 7:03
Killing Is My Business Interest
The Dark Avenger said,
May 24, 2008 at 7:46
Prick O’Banion, which I stole from a Ron Goulart novel.
Also, you should know that Purple is from the side of the Avenger family where the children ride the short yellow bus……………..
Crispy Ambulance song titles said,
May 24, 2008 at 7:59
Death from Above
Bardo Plane
Plateau Phase
RobW said,
May 24, 2008 at 8:00
Ivan the Unmedicated
I am SO stealing this one…
Joe Bourgeois said,
May 24, 2008 at 8:39
The Velociraptor Fucker
ice weasel said,
May 24, 2008 at 10:19
Best fucking thread ever.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
"Oh Stewardess, I Speak 'Nut" said,
May 24, 2008 at 10:36
“Powerline”
What? Damn! OK, then, how about “DEFCON Cheeto”
Drolfe said,
May 24, 2008 at 11:30
I thought mine was pretty witty, but I agree with Plutocrat:
Ragevein Throbshaft
has already won the internets.
Johnny Pez said,
May 24, 2008 at 13:00
H. R. Hacknslash
And I’m still convinced that Ross Douthat is a shout-out to Dudley Dooright.
mat said,
May 24, 2008 at 13:58
And I’m still convinced that Ross Douthat is a shout-out to Dudley Dooright.
No, no, no, no, not Dudley Do-Right.
Dudley Laywicker
Dudley Laywicker: Tubby, doughy, wimpy, four-eyed, nerdy, asthmatic, virginal Momma’s boy in a high school band uniform.
mat said,
May 24, 2008 at 14:04
Wait! STOP THE GODDAMN PRESSES!
The above description is perfect for Jonah Goldberg too. Or Steven den Beste. Or Ace of Spades. Or…can you see a pattern developing here?
El Cid said,
May 24, 2008 at 14:14
I appreciate the appreciation. Unless it’s from liberal fascists. In which case I vow to defy you until the last cheese-enhanced corn-based snack.
Buddy Moleman said,
May 24, 2008 at 14:46
Post-partum Abortifacient
Property Rights Trump Brown People’s Lives
Democrat Contingrat Slaughtercrat
Azzkicke Musclethorpe said,
May 24, 2008 at 14:46
Stabmaster arson
You killed more but mine are the deadest
Ass of Spades
J— said,
May 24, 2008 at 15:11
Smith & Malthus, Fully Loaded
El Cid said,
May 24, 2008 at 15:15
J– : Well played.
J— said,
May 24, 2008 at 15:23
Thanks, El Cid. Malthus has been on my mind of late because I just finished reading his Essay. I was familiar with gist of his argument about demographics, but what I didn’t know, and learned from the essay, was what a jerk he was about poor relief policy.
El Cid said,
May 24, 2008 at 15:27
J— : I think one important thing to take away from “Malthus”, once you depersonalize it from the man & his arguments to the use of “Malthus” today, is that we largely have learned the opposite. In fact, the better off you make the poor, and particularly the more you ‘empower’ (educate, give job access & small business support, provide health care & birth control) poor people and especially women, the more birth rate declines.
You’d think we’d learn something from this demographic transition, but we don’t.
a concerned citizen said,
May 24, 2008 at 16:14
Ludwig von Misery
Bloodfist Hellsbane
Taupe Brawnson
Grimhelion’s Rapier
Fisticuffs McDougal
SanFranCide
WangSlapper1972
Hubert Stabbington, DDS
LafferKurve69
Torpedo Rider
Cl@us3witz
Professor Pain
PwnageOfUnreason
Rev. Jack Cox
SurberFan4Life
Lord Thundercock
DeathFromAsheville1979
Dr. Killgood
Shiv Mohammed
Hemlocke
Jesus’ Knuckleduster
Commodore Cockpunch
Hairy Reed
not even an mba said,
May 24, 2008 at 16:24
Well, I’m giving away the original of my handle but how about:
Jane Galt
not even an mba said,
May 24, 2008 at 16:26
The Blogger Formerly Known as Machiavelli’s Prince
not even an mba said,
May 24, 2008 at 16:26
myiq2xu
yank in london said,
May 24, 2008 at 16:33
I promise not sue over “Wank in London”!
mat said,
May 24, 2008 at 16:36
The prototypical Warblogger…I especially dig how his band uniform would have been a nice Generalissimo of Teh Grand Warblogger Army Steven den Beste outfit.
“My puffer! My puffer!” Classic!
We surmise that was a typical Jonah Pantload asthmatic reaction to queries about why he wouldn’t enlist.
henry lewis said,
May 24, 2008 at 17:50
Retribution’s Registrar
The Scimitar of Truth
The Snowshovel of Bullshit
Lace Doilies
Wait…scratch that last one.
Snorghagen said,
May 24, 2008 at 18:21
Generalissimo Spongebob
Fuck-em-all
Second Horseman of the Apoopalypse
WarBoner
Lord HissyFit
The Cringing Paranoid
Flaming Marshmallow
Macho Flab
Power Groupie
Hyperventilate for Jesus
Napoleon Invertebrate
Buster Bloodvessel (with thanks to Ragevein Throbshaft)
Third-string Fascist
American Babbler
Proud to be Loud
Aaron M said,
May 24, 2008 at 18:29
Killfuck Soulshitter.
Robert Green said,
May 24, 2008 at 18:46
Ayn Rand’s poop shooter
Robert Green said,
May 24, 2008 at 18:48
also,
i’m -a-libertarian-except-on-issues-of-personal-liberty and-i’ll-always-vote-for-a-republican-even-though-i-allege that i’m-not-a-doctrinaire-right-wing-tool-heh-indeedy.
kc said,
May 24, 2008 at 19:18
Blood Equity.
Righteous Bubba said,
May 24, 2008 at 20:30
Aint Not No Queer
henry lewis said,
May 24, 2008 at 22:53
The Iron Diaper
Be Still, Liberals
The Manufactured Outrage Clearinghouse
litbrit said,
May 24, 2008 at 22:58
Little Green Snotballs
Spars and Swipes Forever
Tree Shrugger
Peed Republic
and finally, my favorite:
Bloody Bleeding Brainless Filthy Foul-smelling Rightwing Bastards
litbrit said,
May 24, 2008 at 23:03
Oh, and I agree with plutocrat: Ragevein Throbshaft is brill.
Bas-O-Matic said,
May 24, 2008 at 23:05
Aw, maaaaaaan. I missed this? This game was such a blast when we did it in the Poorman’s comments.
I’ll leave you with aNaL qUaKe, Stryker Mancrush, and Lord Teabag Ballsonface.
litbrit said,
May 24, 2008 at 23:15
And how about:
Intertumescence
The Caped AWOLer
Flaccid Not Placid
I Support Our Droops
Shriveled Drivel
Peers For Fears
Bill of Reichs
This Glans is Our Glans
gjdodger said,
May 24, 2008 at 23:42
Miss Shinna Komplished
Brandi said,
May 24, 2008 at 23:50
TruckNutz911
"Oh Stewardess, I Speak 'Nut" said,
May 25, 2008 at 0:30
Major Kong’s Wild Ride
Calming Influence said,
May 25, 2008 at 1:54
Major Scrotum
Carbide-tipped Nutgrinder
Hugh Joel Testes
OTB said,
May 25, 2008 at 2:39
ARRRRGH! I’m so damn pissed you went and did this post on my ONE day away from the computer, so I missed all this and now have to scroll down pages of this while trying not to piss my pants and all the good names are taken…oh, just Damn You All To HELL!!1!
…so, is Kernal Heartland taken?
Righteous Bubba said,
May 25, 2008 at 3:00
Nuke U Later
ghost poet said,
May 25, 2008 at 3:07
islamic stalin
not even an mba said,
May 25, 2008 at 3:10
The Two Wang Clan
Righteous Bubba said,
May 25, 2008 at 3:14
The Road to Smurfdom
not even an mba said,
May 25, 2008 at 3:14
One-eyed Willie
henry lewis said,
May 25, 2008 at 4:15
The Sycophant’s Tusk
bc said,
May 25, 2008 at 5:20
I’m with OTB…this is great stuff.
How about:
McDonna Douglass
Lieutenant JG America (demoted from Captain after that unfortunate “tailhook” incident)
Bourboun Thrustmaster
Manful F. Whiskey
Nope, just can’t come up with anything even approaching the bulging awsomeosity that is Ragevein Throbshaft. That’s priceless.
…bc…
Smut Clyde said,
May 25, 2008 at 5:46
Buster Bloodvessel (with thanks to Ragevein Throbshaft)
That calls for some linky goodness.
Apparently
I didnot know that. Did you know that?
henry lewis said,
May 25, 2008 at 6:04
Girth Lengthy
john_manyjars said,
May 25, 2008 at 8:37
Those were an absolute riot- sadly I think many would be chosen by rightards, irony notwithstanding…thanks people!
Johnny Pez said,
May 25, 2008 at 9:27
Hans von Spakovsky.
(Aww, damn, it’s taken.)
not even an mba said,
May 25, 2008 at 11:49
Charles Johnson and his Little Green Balls
Power-tools
Insta-Pound-It
and Pantload himself, Boner Goldjerk
not even an mba said,
May 25, 2008 at 13:32
Wordpress
(it’s a dick)
not even an mba said,
May 25, 2008 at 13:34
Charles Johnson and his Little Green Balls
Insta-Pound-It
The Cornhole
And Pantload himself, Boner Goldjerk
not even an mba said,
May 25, 2008 at 16:16
PENIS
Mj. Paynin Diaz said,
May 25, 2008 at 22:35
What about Capt. Trollypants?
mdhatter said,
May 25, 2008 at 22:37
Saddam bin Hitler Stephanopoulus
Snorghagen said,
May 25, 2008 at 23:14
Yes, I did know that. I remembered the name from the Magical Mystery Tour movie, and flagrantly stole it. I have no shame.
Actually, that’s almost the only thing I do remember from that film.
Heywood J. said,
May 25, 2008 at 23:59
The Fartin’ Spartan
Death By CtrlAltFuckYou
Hoagie van der Chexmix
Basement Crusader
Buttless Chaps of Death
Vein-laden Meatpipe of Democracy
Primatene the Eternally Winded
Heavin’ den Basted
Gonad Boldglurg, Lord of Snackbane
Melons of Doom (can’t overlook Boobarella bloggers like Atlas Juggs; they’d have to jerk off to Frank Frazetta illustrations without them)
Attila the Disgruntled Insurance Claims Adjuster
Douche Bigalow, Wizard of SOCOM
Cerberus von Cockslap
The Ambiguously Gay Islamohomofighter (+2½ codpiece)
Dafydd ap Mmm Floor-pie
Max Powder, General of the Gold Bond Brigade (The Swivel Chair of Doom causes much chafing in the heat of battle.)
Smut Clyde said,
May 26, 2008 at 0:53
Attila the Disgruntled Insurance Claims Adjuster
Attila the Stockbroker already exists (but you probably knew that).
He also does a great cover version of Ace of Spades, sung in an outrageous French accent, on the argument that the lyrics are quintessentially Existential.
not even an mba said,
May 26, 2008 at 2:01
Wowbagger the Infinitely Prolonged
Nux EIedka said,
May 26, 2008 at 4:09
Is The Blue Rajah taken?
Barney said,
May 26, 2008 at 12:32
Torquemada Was Right
Fuckwitius Superbus
The Non-Appeasing Anti-Appeasinator
Valor Minus Discretion
Chief of Defence Staff Sir Jock Stirrup
Neoconan The BombIranian
Apocalypse Faster, Please
The Fountainhead of Righteous Asskicking
Midshipman Hard
Cheeto Delenda Est
not even an mba said,
May 26, 2008 at 23:08
Awesome.
Major Woody said,
May 27, 2008 at 5:24
I can’t think of any stupid phallic-related names.
Sadly, No! » Vermin On The Mount said,
May 28, 2008 at 9:23
[...] ‘hawkeye54′ (whose moniker, incidentally, gives us hope) in comments on the See-Dubya thread informs us: And as ['sideline Protestant'] congregations seem [...]