14
Oy
So Arlen Specter apparently wants an independent investigation to explain why his team’s quarterback was too lazy and out of shape to run a hurry-up offense in the most important game of his life.
Patriots haters are now officially in the same league as the Moon Landing Hoax conspiracy theorists. It’s going to be awfully funny next year when every team will completely change their signals around and the Patriots will still contend for yet another Super Bowl.
…and yes, incidentally, I know: 18-1. The Patriots did in fact lose the Super Bowl this year. Do you know how that happened, by the way? The answer is simple: they got their ass kicked at the line of scrimmage. The G-Men didn’t throw any super-secret exotic blitz packages at them that they could have picked up from stolen defensive signals. It was mostly Osi, Strahan, Alford and Tuck kicking ass all game long, with an assist from the New England secondary’s inability to make big plays on the final drive. And that’s it, folks. Stolen signals do not have the power to make Matt Light magically become better at blocking speed-rushers.
UPDATE: Heh-indeedy:
In any case, I eagerly await the existance of game film to be held up as evidence that the Patriots are stealing their opponents’ uniform designs, or their secret “snap-the-ball-to-start-the-play” signal, or perhaps their super-top-secret plan to put 11 players on the field. Isn’t it time for Pacman Jones to beat up somebody in a strip club already? The vultures are getting stupid.
UPDATE II: Don Banks is making sense:
I decided after a short period of contemplation that an outside investigation of the Patriots’ illegal taping practices would, in terms of urgency, fall somewhere below those still ongoing inquiries into the 2006 firings of U.S. attorneys by attorney general Alberto Gonzalez and the Justice Department, the meltdown of the nation’s mortgage industry due to sub-prime loans, the current administration’s definition of torture, and the NSA’s standards for domestic warrantless wire-tapping. And let’s not even count that lingering, messy debate over the validity of our pre-war intelligence. That’s such old news.
r€nato said,
May 14, 2008 at 19:06
*yawn* OK can we put this faux controversy to bed now and return to real faux controversies like lapel pins and Rev. Wright?
Thers said,
May 14, 2008 at 19:06
Someone should tell Specter that Bill Belichick gets opposing team’s play signals fed to him by NSA agents using illegal wiretaps.
Then we’d get some real action.
Patkin said,
May 14, 2008 at 19:14
Pfft.
There’s still old Dodger fans from Brooklyn bitching about the Giants stealing signs during the World Series they lost. Both teams have migrated across most of the country, and there’s still haters.
Talk to me when you match that one.
Dr. Squid said,
May 14, 2008 at 19:16
That Super Bowl should really tell us what a big pile of suck last season was. The same Giants couldn’t even get 200 yards of offense against a mediocre Eagles defense, and the only time the Eagles running game got stopped that Monday night was when Andy Reid wanted to pass so damn much.
That game, even with a Giants win, I thought they were a huge pile of suck. And for the Patsies to be undefeated except for the same Giant Sucking Sound? Everyone should be ashamed for having watched that dreck that was the 2007 season.
Righteous Bubba said,
May 14, 2008 at 19:17
Patriots haters are now officially in the same league as the Moon Landing Hoax conspiracy theorists.
Oh now, don’t tell me you believe someone landed on the MOON. Someone’s got foreskin issues.
Dungheap said,
May 14, 2008 at 19:25
Sure, the Patriots taped defensive signals in violation of league rules leading to Bellichick being slapped with a $500,000 fine – the largest fine ever levied against a coach – and the Pats being stripped of their first round pick just for giggles, not to gain a competitive advantage.
Please.
MileHi Hawkeye said,
May 14, 2008 at 19:29
Why doesn’t Hillary wear a flag lapel pin? Can we trust this country to someone who doesn’t have lapels?
Jake H. said,
May 14, 2008 at 19:31
You know, funny thing, teams that DON’T CHEAT generally don’t have to put up with years of bullshit for cheating! Seriously, it works, you should look into it sometime!
I think the Patriots are a great team and I doubt their success had too much to do with signal-stealing, which is pretty low on the list of sports sins in my book (though hey, let’s not forget Steroid Cheater Rodney Harrison!). I also sincerly hope we’re spared the farcical national embarrassment of a Congressional inquiry into any of this. But reacting with bitchy, imperious disdain when people give you shit over cheating (ZOMG TINFOIL HATZ) seems like a bit much. This is the bed the Pats made, after all. If the competitive advantage gained for doing so was minimal, then it was pretty fucking stupid to do it in the first place, don’t you think?
christian h. said,
May 14, 2008 at 19:34
Patriots fans are the Republicans of sports. WATB’s, the whole lot of them. But the Congressional morons are even worse. First baseball, now this…
Mike T said,
May 14, 2008 at 19:35
Don’t you go bringing any of that ‘common sense’ in here Jake H. This is about the Patriots being the biggest cheaters ever. Unless you’re a Pats fan, in which case it’s about how all the Pats haters are crazy.
tontocal said,
May 14, 2008 at 19:37
Good Lord In Heaven! Can’t they just set up another round of hearings to investigate ‘Bill’s and Hill’s’ christimas card list again?
http://www.boston.com/news/nation/washington/articles/2005/11/20/congress_reduces_its_oversight_role/
MileHi Hawkeye said,
May 14, 2008 at 19:40
“Everybody pooh-poohs it,” Specter said. “It’s ridiculous to make that kind of contention.”
Oh no–Arlen’s got his mind on his Depends again…
Righteous Bubba said,
May 14, 2008 at 19:41
This is about the Patriots being the biggest cheaters ever.
They could perhaps be the largest cheaters ever except for that elephant polo team and the tusk-sharpening incident.
steve evfuture said,
May 14, 2008 at 19:45
I used to care about this subject – then the Patriots got their sorry asses kicked and I stopped caring. Ha Ha – F the Patriots.
Lawnguylander said,
May 14, 2008 at 19:46
Patriots fans are the Republicans of sports.
How can you make this statement while Yankee fans walk free? Not that Patriot fans don’t suck ass but Yankee fans long ago claimed that title. Why don’t we say Pats fans are the libertarians of sports?
Legalize said,
May 14, 2008 at 19:47
Sorry. If the Pats weren’t CAUGHT CHEATING, and if Belicheat hadn’t been caught lying about it, maybe no one would be speculating about the extent of the duplicity.
On the other hand, I’d like to thank Pats fans for taking the heat off of us Yankees fans for a while, by acting like the Scooter Libby crowd. :)
Brad said,
May 14, 2008 at 19:48
I used to care about this subject – then the Patriots got their sorry asses kicked and I stopped caring.
Which is a perfectly reasonable position. Calling for a congressional investigation into the Pats’ cheating is not.
Thorlac said,
May 14, 2008 at 19:48
There’s still old Dodger fans from Brooklyn bitching about the Giants stealing signs during the World Series they lost. Both teams have migrated across most of the country, and there’s still haters.
Patkin, seriously? I guess I can understand generations-old sectarian violence after all.
tontocal said,
May 14, 2008 at 19:50
Oh…just in case y’all haven’t ‘intertubed’ C&L yet this morning. (I always try to rigorously maintain a ‘butch’ exterior but this illicited a ‘gay gasp’ from me):
http://www.crooksandliars.com/2008/05/14/racist-obama-t-shirts-for-sale-curious-george/
Legalize said,
May 14, 2008 at 19:52
Edit: by the way, I only care about this to the extent that I get to make fun of the Pats for being cheating cheaters. Every Congressional minute wasted on this topic should result in equal minutes of Congress Critters having to spend social time with Roger Clemens and Jose Canseco.
Patkin said,
May 14, 2008 at 19:54
Thorlac:
Oh my, yes. My father’s one of them. He’s instructed me to hate just as much, and I’m only in my 20s.
Of course, the true hatred is reserved for those fucking Yankees, but you know how that is.
Snowwy said,
May 14, 2008 at 19:56
Ugh. Can’t everybody just let. it. go?!
The Pats were punished. Whether appropriately so or not is a matter of opinion, so I’m not going there. But they were punished.
It’s over. Fraking move ON, already.
Lawnguylander said,
May 14, 2008 at 20:01
Sorry if this is a duplicate comment but apparently Wordpress is a Patriots and Yankees fan and keeps eating my posts.
Patriots fans are the Republicans of sports.
How can you make this statement while Yankee fans walk free? Not that Patriot fans don’t suck ass but Yankee fans long ago claimed that title. Why don’t we say Pats fans are the libertarians of sports?
P.S. Leave Bill Belichick alone!
billy pilgrim said,
May 14, 2008 at 20:13
c’mon, Arlen is just acknowledging the fact that campaigning on Patriot Hate is a more winning strategy than using the Republican platform….
Ripley said,
May 14, 2008 at 20:18
If cheating is outlawed, only outlaws will ch…. wait…
MrWonderful said,
May 14, 2008 at 20:26
Has anyone ever referred to the Pats as The Brady Bunch?
Shouldn’t they?
Dr. Squid said,
May 14, 2008 at 20:32
What the Giants win in the Super Bowl should tell everyone is that the entire 2007 stunk. The Giants were a mediocrity all season, as evidenced by a mid-season Monday night game against the Eagles. Couldn’t even cobble together 200 yards of offense against a meh defense, and the only time the Eagles run game got stopped was when the Eagles called a pass play so they could get sacked yet again.
And the undefeated Patsies lost to that.
themann1086 said,
May 14, 2008 at 20:34
Don’t blame me, I voted for Hoffel!
Mike T said,
May 14, 2008 at 20:40
Sorry if this is a duplicate comment but apparently Wordpress is a Patriots and Yankees fan and keeps eating my posts.
Hey, that happened to me earlier when I said something snarky about the Pats. Hmmmm, maybe there’s something to this moon hoax after all.
PeeJ said,
May 14, 2008 at 20:43
It has to be investigated or the troofs will never be known. Arlen “One Bullet” Specter probably has evidence proving that the Pats caused Roethlisberger to crash his ‘Busa.
On another note, I made a huge mistake last night. ‘Ho and I were watching the election coverage and I stoopidly called for a drinking game – drink every time somebody says “white working class” or a variant of same. Barely had time to breathe. On the plus side, I got thoroughly spifflicated.
Also, bite me Wordpress.
Chris said,
May 14, 2008 at 20:44
What a dumb post this is! And hypocritical at that. So cheating, gaining a competative advantage, and then lying about it is something we should just “move on” from? Obviously, you have never played football or a competative sport if you do not think knowing what the other team is doing is not an advantage. Worse of all, the league sent out a memo which CLEARLY said this practice was illegal and punishable, yet Bellicheat said he just misread the rule! Pacman Jones lied also that he was not going to strip clubs anymore, and he get a year suspension!?! If anything deserves further investigation, this does. I love my fellow liberals, but sometimes when it comes to sports, you are plain out of your league.
Sanderson Hawkins said,
May 14, 2008 at 20:46
I have no idea what any of this means but I know it’s kind of like rugby.
Brad said,
May 14, 2008 at 20:52
If anything deserves further investigation, this does.
If you personally pay millions of dollars to fund it in lieu of taxpayers footing the bill, then be my guest.
You’re likely to find that there’s nothing else there, and then catch Belichick lying about getting a hummer from an intern, at which point he’ll be impeached from his job as a professional football coach.
Because clearly, this is a national priority that requires the government’s urgent attention.
Righteous Bubba said,
May 14, 2008 at 20:52
So cheating, gaining a competative advantage, and then lying about it is something we should just “move on” from?
Apart from that other stuff, IT’S THE INTERNET. We must never move on from any argument.
Snowwy said,
May 14, 2008 at 20:59
Chris,
And how many times would *you* like to be penalized for a misdeed? Let us know, please, so that I can make sure to arrange the appropriate variety of tortures for you when next you screw up.
tontocal said,
May 14, 2008 at 21:18
what Chris said,
May 14, 2008 at 20:44
Yeah….the thing is Chris (not being a sports fan miself) I’m sure there is a regulatory/oversight thingy that could investigate this and mete out the appropriate punishments (if not already having done so?) Now, this all might be of dire importance to the ‘SuperBowl!’ demographic but I personally couldn’t give a shit and it’s not like there aren’t far more important things to hold Congressional Fracking Hearings on!
John said,
May 14, 2008 at 21:23
Go back and read about how Bill Belichick left the Jets, and then understand why we Jets fans don’t care for the man.
Brad said,
May 14, 2008 at 21:25
No, look: I understand why everybody hates Belichick. If I weren’t a Patriots fan, I’d hate him too. My objection is solely in using taxpayer money to investigate a cheating scandal that has completely run its course.
Shorter entire nation outside of annoying Pats fans and their equally-annoying haters said,
May 14, 2008 at 21:26
John Cole said,
May 14, 2008 at 21:28
Only the One counts when you are Eighteen and One.
Suck it, cheaters.
Righteous Bubba said,
May 14, 2008 at 21:29
If I was an honest-to-god conservative this kind of congressional hearing is one I might support just to keep the clods busy instead of you know, helping people and stuff.
Shorter entire nation outside of annoying Pats fans and their equally-annoying haters said,
May 14, 2008 at 21:29
Additionally, there’s one brand of football that’s next on the calendar, and it’s at the collegiate level…where everyone in the NE is a friggin joke.
Hoosier X said,
May 14, 2008 at 21:36
Funny someone would mention rugby in a threa about football an cheating.
I’m not an expert on the early days of any American sports, but I did read a very interesting book about the development of football. If I make any mistakes in the following, please correct me:
Football grew out of the American propensity to find every loophole in simple rules. Rugby was played in America from about the mid-19th century, but when Americans played it, some teams were very “innovative” with their interpretations of the rules, and it pissed some of the teams off. The rules were constantly re-worked, with every team (and I think this was mostly at the college level) clamoring for changes that would benefit their particular strengths. Rugby soon disappeared, replaced by American football.
My understanding is that the sport got a huge boost as a popular pasttime in the 1880s when college teams would play a few exhibition games in New York City and the New York press (of the Pulitzer-Hearst era) covered the games extensively with special sections and lavish illustrations.
Which is really neither here nor there.
I am so happy that the Pats lost to the Giants that I don’t hate the Pats anymore. I’ve been saving my hate for the Pistons.
Seitz said,
May 14, 2008 at 21:36
You know, funny thing, teams that DON’T CHEAT generally don’t have to put up with years of bullshit for cheating! Seriously, it works, you should look into it sometime!
Here, Jake, let me fix that for you:
You know, funny thing, teams that DON’T
CHEATGET CAUGHT CHEATING generally don’t have to put up with years of bullshit for cheating!Newsflash, buddy: EVERYBODY CHEATS! Some just get lucky in that their opponents get caught first.
Singularity said,
May 14, 2008 at 21:45
Yeah, okay, all probably true. But fuck Tom Brady with a rake anyway.
Steve Balboni said,
May 14, 2008 at 21:47
I was starting to forget why I hated Boston sports “fans” so much, thanks for reminding me that you’re all a bunch of insufferable band-wagoners. If there is a set of fans who are worse winners I’ve yet to encounter them. That you make most of us long for the days of Yankee dominance is telling.
christian h. said,
May 14, 2008 at 21:48
Lawnguylander, Yankees fans simply are Republicans. Not just the Republicans of sports fandom.
Hoosier X said,
May 14, 2008 at 21:50
That is just mean.
Save it for the fucking Pistons fans.
Hoosier X said,
May 14, 2008 at 21:50
(Did I mention that I love Sadly, No sports threads?)
SomeNYGuy said,
May 14, 2008 at 21:55
Yes, let’s talk about professional football and celebrate the all the violence, fakery, macho posturing, pathological consumerism and jingoism we love about the United States of America.
Fuck this shit. Hey, progressives, let’s talk about “American Idol” and get-rich-through-faith-in-Jesus. What fun. And harmless, too.
zhak said,
May 14, 2008 at 21:56
Specter will investigate this non-issue and will block anything to do with Republican malfeasance.
I used to think he was actually a decent person but the last few years have changed my mind.
Legalize said,
May 14, 2008 at 21:57
“If there is a set of fans who are worse winners, [than Boston fans] I’ve yet to encounter them.”
The best comment I’ve heard with respect to the Boston fans is that they should try being a Bengals fan for an hour and see what that’s like.
Simba B said,
May 14, 2008 at 22:00
SomeNYGuy wins the thread.
If I ruled the world, at least.
Hoosier X said,
May 14, 2008 at 22:01
I find that my efforts to understand sports help me in my efforts to understand politics.
Think of conservatives as people who don’t know the difference between A) a basically meaningless squabble over a game; and B) a life-and-death decision over policy that will affect the nation and the world for generations.
Cheap Cynicism said,
May 14, 2008 at 22:01
Pats suck!
Also, why are you guys not helping Pammy with her banner issues like you did for Ace? Seems unfair.
Gradishar said,
May 14, 2008 at 22:02
$50 for the first Pats fan who can actually name for me the five starters on your team’s offensive line. The left side of that line played as well as any linemen I’ve ever seen for 18 games. It sucked for one, and in that game, your Jesus of a quarterback looked like Rick Mirer (played in the league before most Pats fans knew football existed — you can look it up, along with John Hannah and Andre Tippett). But what do we hear from Pats fans? It’s only ever Brady Brady Brady. And complaints that the rest of the country somehow roots for other teams.
Stick to baseball and racism — things Massholes know a lot about!
Lawnguylander said,
May 14, 2008 at 22:04
Additionally, there’s
onean inferior brand of football that’s next on the calendar, and it’s at the collegiate level…whereeveryonethinginoutside the NE is a friggin joke.Sorry but we coastal elites have to stick together so I had to fix that for ya, hater. Now if you want to talk about another brand of football that actually matters, well, the fact is St. Barnabas sucks and should be the subject of a congressional investigation with no expense spared.
Brad said,
May 14, 2008 at 22:05
Matt Light at left tackle, Logan Mankins at left guard, Dan Koppen at center, Stephen Neal at right guard, Nick Kazcur at right tackle. Backups are Russ Hochstein, who is primarily a guard but can fill in at center as well, and tackle Ryan O’Callaghan. Lonnie Paxton is the long snapper.
PeeJ said,
May 14, 2008 at 22:05
Can Bellichek explain how a steel building can collapse into its own footprint? Something that has NEVER been observed before?
Brad said,
May 14, 2008 at 22:06
And dude, don’t challenge my damn football knowledge. I’m a fan of the game as much as I’m a fan of the Pats.
Shorter SomeNYGuy said,
May 14, 2008 at 22:06
Brad said,
May 14, 2008 at 22:07
Sorry but we coastal elites have to stick together so I had to fix that for ya, hater
Agreed. I actually love everything about New York except the Yankees, believe it or not.
PeeJ said,
May 14, 2008 at 22:10
Can’t we all just get along?
PS – ‘Pistons’ spelled backwards is ‘Snot Sip’
Balloon Juice said,
May 14, 2008 at 22:10
[...] Must be a slow day at the Sadly, No! empire, as they, too, attempt to justify [...]
NobodySpecial said,
May 14, 2008 at 22:10
I used to like the Pats when Old Man Grogan was quarterbacking….
Belicheck, now, the only thing I remember was him helping to destroy the Cleveland Browns.
FuriousGeorge said,
May 14, 2008 at 22:11
Alright, I’m threadjacking this nonsense for some shit that actually matters.
Brad said,
May 14, 2008 at 22:12
Belicheck, now, the only thing I remember was him helping to destroy the Cleveland Browns.
Ah yes, that’s another reason I love the guy.
PeeJ said,
May 14, 2008 at 22:13
John, you’re a shameless blog-whore. Jus sayin.
DocAmazing said,
May 14, 2008 at 22:16
Okay, football aside:
The guy that was legal counsel to the Warren Comission–that cover-up crew to beat ‘em all–has the balls to accuse someone else of conspiracy and to call for an investigation?
Unbelievable…
Hoosier X said,
May 14, 2008 at 22:17
Hillary Clinton says something obvious and we should just stop talking about sports?
Okay. Now that I’ve thought about it a minute, I see your point. Hillary went to the clue store and got a clue.
Stop the presses!
Let’s all talk about how perceptive Hillary Clinton is!
FuriousGeorge said,
May 14, 2008 at 22:23
That’s a bizarre response. No, you’re right, it’s much more important for insufferable Patriots fans and equally insufferable Patriots haters go at it over something that happened last year.
Patkin said,
May 14, 2008 at 22:28
Personally, I’m waiting for Talk Left to denounce Hillary Clinton for saying they should vote for Barack Obama, rather than her clear progressive partner, John McCain.
He was considered as a VP in ‘04, y’know.
Brad said,
May 14, 2008 at 22:29
it’s much more important for insufferable Patriots fans and equally insufferable Patriots haters go at it over something that happened last year.
I’m glad I could make you insuffer so well ;-)
Hoosier X said,
May 14, 2008 at 22:31
I think there’s a little bit more going on in this thread that that.
For one thing, many people are commenting on how stupid the dispute is.
Sorry. I like the sports threads. Please indulge us fans of both sports and politics. Especially considering we haven’t had one for ages.
Pistons suck!
Jamey said,
May 14, 2008 at 22:31
And that inability to control the line of scrimmage is why the Pats will again be the best team NOT to win the Super Bowl.
There are rules. The Pats’ “brain trust” broke them. Jeez, you win three Supes and go 16-0 in the 2007 regular season, and New England fans are STILL a big, fucking bunch of crybabies! That said, Brad is 100% right about Sen. Arlen Specter (R-Comcast).
(ps: I rooted for the Pats against the Eagles. I also paid money to see U-2 on it’s ZOOROPA tour. Gawd am I a schmuck!)
Shygetz said,
May 14, 2008 at 22:32
If cheating had an insignificant upside, then Belicheck was an idiot to do it. If cheating had a significant upside, then the Patriots’ wins are suspect. So is your coach an idiot, or your team a fraud?
Brad said,
May 14, 2008 at 22:33
Being a fraudulent idiot myself, I see no need for such distinctions.
Also: the Pats are still one of the best teams in the NFL. Eat it h8rs, el oh el.
o'scrod said,
May 14, 2008 at 22:34
All this apparently earnest jock talk about the worst sport ever – never mind the team, Amer. football is worse than European handball, worse than dopey DH baseball, worse than cricket – on Sadlyno, instigated by Brad of all people, rattled my youthful enthusiasm for this blog. Then I clicked on the video … omg!! I know what you guys are feeling!!! Go Pats!!!
FuriousGeorge said,
May 14, 2008 at 22:35
I don’t mind sports threads, I just wish they didn’t have to be about the motherhumping Patriots. And yeah, I’m also an insufferable Patriots hater but Christ, the effort to continue to be one is just so exhausting. You know how easy, how right it is to hate the right-wing blogosphere? But then here comes the Patriots, and we all have to pick sides, and that makes me hurt deep inside my mind grapes.
PeeJ said,
May 14, 2008 at 22:35
Stop already. Yer all wrong. Donchoo effing dingbats know that football is played on Saturday?
Brad said,
May 14, 2008 at 22:35
Then I clicked on the video … omg!! I know what you guys are feeling!!! Go Pats!!!
Welcome to the club. Do I dare post that pic of me in the pink Brady shirt???
Hoosier X said,
May 14, 2008 at 22:37
Then let’s stop talking about the Pats.
Let’s talk about how much the Pistons suck!
Brando said,
May 14, 2008 at 22:38
What a dumb post this is! And hypocritical at that. So cheating, gaining a competative advantage, and then lying about it is something we should just “move on” from? Obviously, you have never played football or a competative sport if you do not think knowing what the other team is doing is not an advantage.
This is what the hysterics don’t get. Half a million dollar fine and, more importantly, loss of a first-round draft pick have already been levied. Losing a first-rounder, even a late first-round pick, is a big deal for any NFL team. It’s all the asterisk and investigation bullshit that has pushed this idiocy over the top.
your Jesus of a quarterback looked like Rick Mirer
I am a Bear fan who watched every snap he took for Chicago, and Tom Brady’s nastiest, stinkiest bowel movements still have a higher QB rating than Rick Mirer.
What really happened is that Eli Manning and Brady had a Freaky Friday moment on Super Bowl Sunday.
kenga said,
May 14, 2008 at 22:38
And if he was splitting hairs in interpreting a rule about taping, the smart thing to do would have been to ask before doing.
Hoosier X said,
May 14, 2008 at 22:39
Even if they beat Orlando 4-1 in the current series.
They suck!
FuriousGeorge said,
May 14, 2008 at 22:40
What really happened is that Eli Manning and Brady had a Freaky Friday moment on Super Bowl Sunday.
Motherfucking insufferable.
Brad said,
May 14, 2008 at 22:44
Tom Brady’s nastiest, stinkiest bowel movements still have a higher QB rating than Rick Mirer.
See also: Grossman, Rex.
PS- Hoosier X, I’m sorry but basketball doesn’t angry up the blood like Spygate talk ;-)
That said, I think the Pistons will very likely make it to the finals since my Celtics can’t seem to win on the road all of a sudden.
o'scrod said,
May 14, 2008 at 22:47
I’m a Bears fan too if they got a QB like Brady.
Righteous Bubba said,
May 14, 2008 at 22:48
Let’s talk about how much the Pistons suck!
How many other NBA teams have made it to six straight conference finals?
FuriousGeorge said,
May 14, 2008 at 22:51
Alright meatheads, it’s time for this to make an appearance.
Brando said,
May 14, 2008 at 23:00
See also: Grossman, Rex.
Yet still better than every QB who has played for the Bears since The Punky QB Known as McMahon.
I should just hang myself with one of Kyle Orton’s neck whiskers.
Lawnguylander said,
May 14, 2008 at 23:07
Why are you so mean, FuriousGeorge? Sports threads are where we don’t have to worry whether we’re being logically consistent or whether our assertions are supported by any objective evidence. In short, where we can let our inner wingnuts run free without fear of falling prey to some pedantic bastard’s contradictory comment. That’s not what I’m up to mind you, I always make sense. But look at what some of these (otherwise sane) fucking people are saying.
o'scrod said,
May 14, 2008 at 23:19
Furious George, your mind grapes are humiliating.
FuriousGeorge said,
May 14, 2008 at 23:19
I would not be a bit surprised if the individuals on the team from your area were sexually attracted to members of their own gender. That is how ineffective they are on the field of battle.
o'scrod said,
May 14, 2008 at 23:24
That is a threadjack if ever there was one.
FuriousGeorge said,
May 14, 2008 at 23:28
Go Hokies.
o'scrod said,
May 14, 2008 at 23:33
Does hokey have something to do with nasty stinky bowel movements or are you refering to my father’s alma mater?
J— said,
May 14, 2008 at 23:35
some pedantic bastard
Yes, you called?
t4toby said,
May 14, 2008 at 23:39
O/T:
Edwards to endorse Obama.
FuriousGeorge said,
May 14, 2008 at 23:40
Does hokey have something to do with nasty stinky bowel movements or are you refering to my father’s alma mater?
I was merely being as clever as my fairly small brain allows me. I think “my team is better than your team” sports discussions are one step above comparing liberals to Hitler (hi, Jonah!) but, being as it may, it is my duty to inform you that the Hokies rule and the rest of the teams in the world drool.
Righteous Bubba said,
May 14, 2008 at 23:44
O/T
Jesus Christ get back on topic and tell someone their team blows goats.
o'scrod said,
May 14, 2008 at 23:50
Thanks all for the great thread. Sadlyno rules!!!! It’s getting late over here in Europe. Don’t miss Christiano Renaldo next week in the Champions League final.
t4toby said,
May 14, 2008 at 23:52
Sorry, RB.
Baw-stun’s sport teams are the Yankees of Hockey.
Better?
t4toby said,
May 14, 2008 at 23:54
ROCK
CHALK
JAYHAWKS!
BEAK ‘EM, HAWKS!!!1!
KU Rulez and everyone else Droolz!
PeeJ said,
May 14, 2008 at 23:55
Is it true that FuriousGeorge circumcises goats?
FuriousGeorge said,
May 14, 2008 at 23:56
It’s like I always say, not only are the supporters of the team from my region more spirited, but they are also more intelligent and of finer breeding than you and the rest of your ilk.
t4toby said,
May 14, 2008 at 23:58
We can dream, can’t we?
Righteous Bubba said,
May 15, 2008 at 0:01
The menfolk of your town look like womenfolk. The womenfolk of your town look like menfolk. Your team will lose because they spend long nights failing to identify potential sex partners. Also they are not good at their sport.
PeeJ said,
May 15, 2008 at 0:02
So’s yer mudder!
PeeJ said,
May 15, 2008 at 0:02
What are you waiting for Brad?
J— said,
May 15, 2008 at 0:03
It’s getting late over here in Europe. Don’t miss
Christiano RenaldoDidier Drogba next week in the Champions League final.Fixed.
t4toby said,
May 15, 2008 at 0:11
I love the Intert00bz.
FuriousGeorge said,
May 15, 2008 at 0:11
It’s getting late over here in Europe. Don’t miss
Christiano RenaldoDidier DrogbaAriaga II next week in the Champions League final.Fixed even better.
Hoosier X said,
May 15, 2008 at 0:21
See, this is central to my point. They may have made it to six straight conference finals, but nonetheless, the Pistons still suck. That PROVES the intensity of their suckitude.
(It just hit me that Doughy Pantload would make a great sportswriter.)
Thlayli said,
May 15, 2008 at 0:21
I’m not sure what game you’re referring to — both Giants-Eagles games in 2007 were on Sundays. One was on a Sunday night, maybe that’s it.
Oh by the way, the Giants won that game. Actually the Giants won both games. So who are you calling a “mediocrity”…?
PeeJ said,
May 15, 2008 at 0:23
I feel for Hoosier X – getting hit with a Doughy Pantload must be awful.
r4d20 said,
May 15, 2008 at 0:24
The Patriots lied and people died.
Legalize said,
May 15, 2008 at 0:25
Sorry to spam, but since teh economy has hit a bit of a rough patch lately, I’d like to offer my services, at a very reasonable rate, to agree with anyone who’d like to declare the suckitude or magnitude of a sports team. For instance:
The Pittsburgh Pirates are totally talented at baseball!! Go Bucks!!
Righteous Bubba said,
May 15, 2008 at 0:27
They may have made it to six straight conference finals
This was supposed to be an opportunity for someone to crow about the Celtics but sports fans in Boston are just fucking dumb.
(It just hit me that Doughy Pantload would make a great sportswriter.)
True. Easterbrook vs. Goldberg smackdown!
t4toby said,
May 15, 2008 at 0:27
The Flyers are the worst soccer team in the history of the Triple Crown!
Hoosier X said,
May 15, 2008 at 0:33
Word that.
LanceThruster said,
May 15, 2008 at 0:34
Maybe Hillary can vow to obliterate New England if they’re ever caught cheating again. I’d pay a buck to see that!
The Pittsburgh Pirates said,
May 15, 2008 at 0:35
ARRRRRRRRRR
Hoosier X said,
May 15, 2008 at 0:37
I hear there is an alternate universe where Jonh Goldberg’s latest book is “Sports Fascism: The History of the Totalitarian Style from Abner Doubleday to the Detroit Pistons.”
tontocal said,
May 15, 2008 at 0:41
What FuriousGeorge said,
May 14, 2008 at 22:51
Thanks for the hilarious Onion thread George. It almost makes up for the case of encephalitis I’ve contracted from reading most of this interminable thread. Now, excuse me while I kneel and say my (thrice daily) prayers to our Great and Beneficent OverLords™ to beg and besiege them for healing of this now grave affliction.
t4toby said,
May 15, 2008 at 0:44
What is a pirate’s favorite letter?
RRRRRRRRRR!
mikey said,
May 15, 2008 at 0:46
Two freakin words, sports fans:
Tim. Lincecum.
[Glows with adulation]
[Or is that adoration?]
mikey
t4toby said,
May 15, 2008 at 0:52
Tim Linecum?
Yay, Greater Seattle Metro Area!!!1!
PeeJ said,
May 15, 2008 at 0:53
The pirate encyclopedia
Less than 140 days until International Talk Like a Pirate Day!!!!
D. Aristophanes said,
May 15, 2008 at 1:13
On the other hand, if all this somehow goes towards ending the NFL’s anti-trust exemption (with MLB to follow, one hopes), it could be worth it.
Specter: “Depending on the public reaction, I may ask the Senate Judiciary Committee to hold hearings on the NFL’s antitrust exemption.”
Gary Ruppashitter said,
May 15, 2008 at 1:14
LanceThruster said,
The fact is, what a homoerotic name.
tontocal said,
May 15, 2008 at 1:16
I resemble that comment Gary.
Righteous Bubba said,
May 15, 2008 at 1:17
Tight end! Ha!
Ish said,
May 15, 2008 at 1:19
Lincecum, Cain and pray for rain Barry Zito to stop sucking
Iris said,
May 15, 2008 at 1:22
Go ahead and stick your head in the sand if you want. All I can say is we’d all be a lot more likely to support the Patriots if we at least thought they represented our basic message, but for the life of me I can’t figure out what they stand for other than stealing signals and ‘changing the play.’ Remember, I was leaning towards the Pats early on. Not a good sign, folks. The most I’d do is sit the post-season out, but not everyone detests cheaters like I do or knows the shift (or was it really a shift?) the Giants have undertaken from their former status as ‘sucky.’ And if you’re willing to hold your nose when you root for the lesser of two evils, why not go ahead and root for the Giants since they have the best players?
Hoosier X said,
May 15, 2008 at 1:32
Fake Iris wins the thread!
Rod Majors said,
May 15, 2008 at 1:32
What’s homoerotic about it?
General Cox said,
May 15, 2008 at 1:49
It puts my little soldier at attention.
Dick Powers said,
May 15, 2008 at 1:50
I can ‘top’ that.
Oral Arschlicher said,
May 15, 2008 at 1:51
We need to get to the bottom of this.
Dick Fitzwell said,
May 15, 2008 at 1:59
I don’t think that’s funny.
Ben Dover said,
May 15, 2008 at 2:01
What the fuck is wrong with you people?
Willy Hung said,
May 15, 2008 at 2:03
I don’t get it.
Sir Richard Pumpaloaf said,
May 15, 2008 at 2:05
Won’t someone play with me?
Jin Wang said,
May 15, 2008 at 2:09
Want to have a drink?
tontocal said,
May 15, 2008 at 2:09
Hoosier X said,
May 15, 2008 at 1:32
Fake Iris wins the thread!
And a hearty second!….AYRRRR
tontocal said,
May 15, 2008 at 2:11
and peddle your ’smut’ somewhere else General Cox!
Poor Richard's Almanack™³²®© said,
May 15, 2008 at 2:19
There’s always teh history thread, people.
Phucking Filistines.
PeeJ said,
May 15, 2008 at 2:19
tonto, Herr Clyde will be offended!
PeeJ said,
May 15, 2008 at 2:20
Yeah, fucking fistings!
tontocal said,
May 15, 2008 at 2:38
(gay gasps!!!)
tontocal said,
May 15, 2008 at 2:40
on a related note:
Teh Sodomies is comin’ for teh childruns!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lrOfVd-50kw
PeeJ said,
May 15, 2008 at 2:47
Enough with the histrionics already. We’re only interested in the cute, male childruns. So that’s what, less than half of “teh childruns.”
Really, people do get so upset over the littlest thing nowadays.
tontocal said,
May 15, 2008 at 2:49
and like you know….all those priests?…most of ‘em hardly even touched those kids!
Clement XII™³²®© said,
May 15, 2008 at 2:51
Boston sports fans.
Almost as bad as freemasons.
Hmpf!
tontocal said,
May 15, 2008 at 2:53
As a Bilderberger, I resent that remark.
mikey said,
May 15, 2008 at 3:01
For (Sadly) the lack of a better thread to put this under.
I LOVE Keith Olbermann.
If you didn’t see tonight’s “Special Comment”.
I think you better find it online…
mikey
BoiseNick said,
May 15, 2008 at 3:15
whothefuckcares ?
Righteous Bubba said,
May 15, 2008 at 3:22
Me. I will troll any thread.
Clement XII™³²®© said,
May 15, 2008 at 3:23
Righteous Bubba said,
May 15, 2008 at 3:22
Me. I will troll any thread.
See! That’s just waht I’m preachin’ aboot.
Smiling Mortician said,
May 15, 2008 at 3:33
If you didn’t see tonight’s “Special Comment”.
I think you better find it online…
Ahem. Link? Hello? Like I’m not too lazy to find it myself? Jeebus. I’ve got drinking to do, man.
mikey said,
May 15, 2008 at 3:39
I know. I just saw it. I assumed it would not be up yet. But then again, I’m west coast, so, oh, fuckit, I can never figure out how that works.
But I admire Keith for being able to shout, holler, speak with passionate conviction and still keep the vast majority of his saliva INSIDE his mouth.
Is that something they teach you in journalism school?
mikey
tontocal said,
May 15, 2008 at 3:44
that’s what I like him about him the most, about the saliva….I wish Chris Matthews would pay closer attention. (praise jeebus for Olberman!)
tontocal said,
May 15, 2008 at 3:44
gotta go….have to go make din-dins for Blanche.
mikey said,
May 15, 2008 at 3:46
gotta go….have to go make din-dins for Blanche.
Whoa. Not so fast, tonto. What’s on the menu?
mikey
Gary Ruppert said,
May 15, 2008 at 3:56
The fact is, football is for pussies. The only real American sport is pro wrestling. The fact is, they have better costumes, and the use of folding chairs is as American as blowing people away in the name of the Lord.
Clement XII™³²®© said,
May 15, 2008 at 4:00
Whatever, HAAM.
I sentence you to twelve Hail Marys.
tontocal said,
May 15, 2008 at 4:00
gay pigeons mikey….gay pigeons
tontocal said,
May 15, 2008 at 4:01
in a light ‘proto-fascist’ sauce
Snowwy said,
May 15, 2008 at 4:06
Here’s da link to Olbermann tonight:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=qr8nrRZOpXw
tontocal said,
May 15, 2008 at 4:09
I also held a seance and did some chanelling….Julia Childs is doing the cooking as we speak…..christ!!……she just put the skewer clear through my frigging wrist!! I hate cooking…..no wonder so many housewives became alcoholics in the 50’s and 60’s…….whooooaa!…..easy on the beaujolais there sister!!
mikey said,
May 15, 2008 at 4:15
Proto-Fascist Sauce:
½ cup cream
¼ cup butter
1 cup red wine
Bring together in a pot over medium heat
Add ¼ cup flour
Stir to cook
Add 1 cup diced dried salami, thick cut
1 cup Asiago cheese
½ cup sour cream
½ cup Worcestershire sauce
½ cup habanero hot sauce
1 cup mixed fresh wild mushrooms
½ cup grated onion
1 cup grated potato, squeezed dry
Cook just shy of a boil until completely tender (about fifteen minutes)
Puree until smooth.
Serve over just about anything short of dogshit…
Oh, but I’d recommend steamed shrimp and sauteed lamb chunks…
mikey
tontocal@Chris Matthews said,
May 15, 2008 at 4:21
muito obrigada mikey, muito obrigada……(damn!….now that the birds are already on the Joe McCarthy® grill!!!)
Tom said,
May 15, 2008 at 4:23
Shorter Brad: We lost. Stop making us suffer.
Anne Laurie said,
May 15, 2008 at 4:46
Someone should tell Specter that Bill Belichick gets opposing team’s play signals fed to him by NSA agents using illegal wiretaps.
Then we’d get some real action.
Thers wins the thread!
Also: A Media Village where Olberman is a sportswriter and Jonah Goldberg is a political columnist is a MV with *seriously* fvcked priorities. Upon that, I believe we can all agree.
socraticsilence said,
May 15, 2008 at 5:56
“$50 for the first Pats fan who can actually name for me the five starters on your team’s offensive line. The left side of that line played as well as any linemen I’ve ever seen for 18 games. It sucked for one, and in that game, your Jesus of a quarterback looked like Rick Mirer (played in the league before most Pats fans knew football existed — you can look it up, along with John Hannah and Andre Tippett). But what do we hear from Pats fans? It’s only ever Brady Brady Brady. And complaints that the rest of the country somehow roots for other teams.”
That’s a b it harsh, besides Mass-holes were far more likely to single out a black guy and blame him than blame the O-line (see Simmons’s blaming Randy Moss)
I can’t be the only one on here who thought of Tawmmy from Qwinzee when reading Brad’s post (Brad’s not a racist but otherwise the tone is right on– sorry Brad): http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2008/05/you-fackin%e2%80%99-people-owe-celtics-nation-an-apawlogy-and-3000-trillion-in-punitive-damages.html#comment-54046
FuriousGeorge said,
May 15, 2008 at 7:27
You’re not.
Masson’s Blog - A Citizen’s Guide to Indiana » Colts Rule; Patriots Drool said,
May 15, 2008 at 13:40
[...] We in the blogosphere are perfectly capable of hashing this out. I can confidently state that Sadly, No is wrong and Oliver Willis is right. The Patriots are, in fact, cheating cheaters. Sadly for the [...]
Sjofn said,
May 16, 2008 at 3:06
Giants won the Superbowl wooooooo!
I love Patriots threads now, because I get to glow.