The Democratic nomination process has become surreal. To the point where I really can’t tell if this post from Lambert of Corrente is a joke:
As alert reader gqmartinez points out, $30 is a month’s worth of food, if you need to live on ramen noodles. And as alert reader BDBlue points out, it’s 15 weeks worth of school lunches for one of your kids.
Has it really come to this? Is the desperation of Lambert to defend Hillary’s Roman gas tax holiday as part of her increasingly scattershot campaign strategy really so acute? This let-them-eat-Ramen stuff is normally Chicagoboyz territory. If the great distinction between Clinton and Obama is the latter’s unwillingness to let us all have a few extra syrup sandwiches this summer … well, really. I’m at a loss for words. But then I am a bit parched, no thanks to Barack Obama and his elitist no-free-sip-of-Mountain-Dew-every-other-month policy. Fucking robber baron.
Look, forget about the usefulness or uselessness of the gas tax holiday for a moment. Put aside the fact that Obama, unlike Clinton and McCain, is clearly in cahoots with Chevron executives to hoard all the extra ketchup packets that could be feeding working families throughout the Rust Belt for decades to come. Is it not abundantly clear that both Democrats’ plans for phased troop withdrawals from Iraq will save taxpayers orders-of-magnitude more Ramen packets than thirty bucks’ worth? Important as it is to keep the noodle-wolf at bay, is this not the issue upon which we should be judging these candidates?
I’ve done that math, because after the dot com bubble burst, that was the situation I was faced with, and I was lucky, because my situation only lasted for months. Except I can top gqmartinez: My survival formula was dollar store spaghetti sauce. You can get two days out of a jar, and even with spaghetti, I could still get change back from my thirty! That was before things got really bad, and I went to the cans of generic pork and beans, 4 for a dollar. Plus, since by that time the gas and the electricity were off, I could heat the beans with the hotplate after stringing an extension cord out into the hall and plugging it into a socket I’d screwed into the light for the purpose. Too risky to boil water that way, I felt. What if I heard someone on the stairs and had to cut the power when the spaghetti was only half boiled?
You were lucky to have stairs! I had to get up at 10′clock at night half an hour before I went to bed, regurgitate six fluid ounces of generic pork and beans for resale to the dollar store, strangle myself with the extension cord and salvage loose parts from the broken hot plate to boil in subsidized ethanol to prepare a weak cup of tea that Barack Obama would throw in my face each evening before ritually mutilating my genitals with a razor-sharp Kusha knife while ululating wildly to savage songs celebrating the enslavement of American heartlanders!
Now, to Stoller, $30 is what? Seven vente lattes and a croissant? I’d say. Though maybe he goes for the pumps of vanilla syrup instead of the croissant. I really wouldn’t know.
Good point, friend Ludd, but when is the next peasant revolt against our faggot coffee overlords taking place? I have my own pitchfork and I hate mechanical looms and espresso contraptions with unnatural gears and steam vents and such.
Brad adds: Incidentally, I love how Lambert and Armando have taken to referring to all Obama supporters as “the creative class,” as if millions of voters around the country are all a bunch of fruity Yanni-loving wimps. Meanwhile, the pro-Hillary bloggers are apparently a bunch of rough blue-collar lawyers or something. Who knows! I’m getting bloody sick of people being idiots over this primary, though.
Gavin adds: Say, while the gas tax holiday is subsidizing Mr. Moneyclip and his V-12 Jaguar, can people who don’t own cars — e.g. poor families, specifically in urban locales — have a tax holiday on something too? I’m thinking perhaps income. Let’s get together on this, kthx?
Gavin also adds: I can’t help mentioning: On the topic of dollar-store spaghetti sauce and domestic economy, I’m simply dazzled by the extravagance. Sauce from a store! From a store!
What the practical man or woman does in a low-money situation is to snap into what they now call the Mediterranean Diet, by getting acquainted with the wild, edible plants in the area. The cost is zero cents per pound — or less than that, even, if you charge a few bucks for weeding people’s yards or gardens. Many are unaware, for instance, that the common dandelion, Taraxacum officinale, was brought to North America on purpose, as a food plant. At the local Whole Foods, they sell dandelion greens for $3.50 a pound. And yet, look outside and what do you see but dandelions every ding-dang place you look? Furthermore, if it’s packaged spaghetti that’s for dinner, Alliaria petiolata, or garlic mustard, makes a darn good pesto and is also available literally by the freaking hundred-pound sack — i.e., people will pay you to get rid of it. There are many dozens of other plants like this. And, you know, I’ve never claimed not to be a strange person.
Honestly and in real life, I admit to a stash of foraged sumac (Rhus typhina) in the kitchen, which I sometimes use for drinks and as a spice. The stuff costs $6.50 a pound at the local Middle Eastern market, but cost me about 650 cents less than that at a roadside near Concord. Let the diamond-studded plutocrats sip their boughten Kool-Aid.