I strafe corrected.

(Clears throat)

Nothin’ beats the hobo life, stabbin’ folks with my hobo knife!

Oh, yes.

Actually, I invested in one of those a while back, and that is exactly what convinced me to start cooking rice again.

Dump all the ingredients together and throw it in the microwave, and you’re free to do whatever you want while it cooks.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=buckfast

WORK HARDER.

That is not an insult, it is an encouragement, the kind that keeps our country great. If you do not think we have the greatest country in the world, I encourage you to either shut up or swim to Cuba.

Yes, the Greenwood is still there. Carl’s is going strong in Sherman Hill – and SH would wow you too, it’s beautiful – I drove by Carl’s earlier tonight and they had a hell of a crowd at 6 o’clock, all loud, rowdy Democrats I’m sure. The Alpine is going strong. Sometimes on a hot summer night I’ll walk down there for a beer or three. Staggering up the 31st street hill can be challenging.

Yeah, a lot has changed in the 20 or so years I’ve been gone. And, I suspect some thing are just as I left them. The cool storms, the Relays and the Greenwood Tap to name a few.

I know there are a good many folks who have moved back and are completely happy and content.

Well, except for the State Fair line-up.

It’s either Newton or Marshalltown that has some sort of race track, but I think it’s Newton.

I don’t know how often you get back to Des Moines, if at all, but the place is changing dramatically, mostly for the better. I’m not feeling nearly the pull to head back out to Seattle that I used to feel. Exciting politics in the Des Moines area. Fantastic bike trails all over the place, downtown living, the riverfront is finally being put to good use, and right now with the forsythia and daffodills in bloom, the Drake relays livening up the neighborhood, and the crab apples and plum just around the corner, I’m pretty pleased with life in Des Moines.

It is hella storming right now though.

NASCAR isn’t nearly as cool or exciting as the dirt short track races.

Poor people and gambling seldom works out well.

My home town of Ottumwa is trying like hell to get a casino. I doubt casinos are the answer at this point though. People soon won’t have money for teh gambling.

Only users lose drugs…

I read that small stakes gambling is the cure for what ailes Newton…

In the early 80s I spent a summer working for the Iowa Toxics Action Project, an offshoot of Iowa Citizen Action Network. We did door to door canvassing, promoting progressive candidates and fund-raising to put a citizen lobbyist at the capitol. We were working to force clean-up of Superfund sites and to pass Superfund legislation. (Remember Superfund?) Anyway, we would go to communities and knock doors and tell the people about the hazards to their community from industrial wastes, this being back when we still had manufacturing in the US of A. Most of the time it impressed people when they heard about the toxins that were in the water, and we raised good money. But for several days, we had to go to Newton and tell the good folks there in that almost 100% company town that the Maytag plant was poisoning the shit out of the water supply. I had doors slammed in my face. They didn’t want to hear it. They were making great money and were loyal. Now, 35 or so years later, Maytag sold out to Whirlpool and left Newton high ‘n dry. (The union killed ‘em, was their excuse.) I’m sure all the toxins are still there though, and will be for quite some time to come.

Oh, babe, I am the WORST possible combination. The perfect storm of cache and stash. I’m mentally disordered, paranoid and suffer from substance and addiction problems. I hide shit that nobody even wants to find. I get up in the morning and my first fifteen minutes is spent going over all my caches, stashes and hides to make sure I still know where they all are.

The flaw, of course, is I don’t know about the ones I’ve forgotten about.

I know where the weapons are, the C4, the Gold, the other IDs and some other high value and desirable items. But to someone like me, this is a combination of an Olympic Sport and Professional Chess. Hiding shit, stashing things, considering access, the exposure potential, the quickest access for the most immediate needs, and the fact that I’m simply fascinated by the game of it, I’ve left stuff in hides and stashes all over seven states.

And this weekend? I’ll probably put something else somewhere and not write it down.

But I AM excited about my new discovery. TrueCrypt. Righteous encryption software for removeable devices that meets the most rigorous specs. So I’m thinking I’ll list all the LatLons for my stashes and put them on a USB drive then I’ll encrypt the USB drive and hide it somewhere.

What could go wrong?

mikey

Yah, well, Mikey: One of the survivalist tips I remember from my post-MAD-obsessed childhood is that you should stockpile stuff you’ll eat but aren’t very fond of — like mac’n'cheese, or canned meat, or generic booze. Remember the urban legend that you *could* live on dog kibble and vitamin C, but you sure the fvck wouldn’t raid your emergency supplies of that stuff except in the most dire circumstances?

The alternative would be to hide your stockpile where it would be accessible after the Big One, but not when you got a late-night craving. Which is easier to arrange if you’re living out in the woods, but given your talents and enough gunpowder, one could probably set up one heck of a discouraging tripwire perimeter…

When I lived in Morgan Hill they used to send you a report twice a year to prove that the levels of Benzene in the tap water were very high but somewhat less than toxic. Er, most of the time…

One of the advantages of living in New England is that our tapwater here comes from reservoirs, not groundwater. There’s still a certain amount of toxic contamination, even after the treatment plants do their best, but the supplies renew hella faster and the virtuous evaporation cycle does reduce the chemical levels. And while nurturing vegetables between November and May can be… frustrating… at least the cold & snow kills off a broad swath of insect pests. Or used to. One of the many small global-warming aggravations already impinging upon our privileged lives here is that we have to keep our dogs on heartworm & tick preventatives year-round, which wasn’t true even 20 years ago when I got my first dog.