Mar
21
21
Shorter Dennis Campbell
- Dear Black America: Why can’t you be more like the nice folks who launder my seriously-outdated suits?
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard.
roy edroso said,
March 21, 2008 at 1:54
If you’d told me ten years ago that we’d still be getting “The Trouble With Black People” posts in 2008…
Well, actually I would have believed that.
Thank God it’s Friday. What? It’s Thursday? Goddamnit.
Bitter Scribe said,
March 21, 2008 at 2:01
For me, the topper was this guy’s curriculum vitae:
Dennis Campbell is a freelance writer who has been widely published on the Internet.
If he emulates his Asian heroes and really applies himself, some day he might get paid.
Devil-Panda said,
March 21, 2008 at 2:01
I demand a clever photoshop.
Melvin van Peebles said,
March 21, 2008 at 2:02
It’s Friday where I am. Also fuck this bearded dickwipe.
nightjar said,
March 21, 2008 at 2:04
“What’s the point? That perhaps it’s time African Americans quit obsessing over past injustices and pay attention to what Asians have done with their opportunities in America.”
Even Shorter Dennis Campbell
Them Asians surely overcame their 400 years of forced servitude and equal rights with common farm animals, followed by 100 years of Jim Crow and lynching for sport by gracious white folk. Now they bow and smile and shuffle about like good grateful minorities. Black people should be ashamed of their obvious lack of appreciation for how good they’ve had it.
Crissa said,
March 21, 2008 at 2:07
Gee, it’s 2008. And Asians are the villians in Speed Racer.
Please explain how this is better?
Krassen said,
March 21, 2008 at 2:11
The main point of this essay is seriously flawed. Judge by yourself:
http://www.usatoday.com/sports/basketball/2006-08-07-china-focus_x.htm
Arky "I just get these headaches" The Blasphemer said,
March 21, 2008 at 2:11
How to spot a shameless goat fucker: Look for a pale-faced twat who sings the virtues of the black community 40 years ago (ie ten years before the last time this asshole bought glasses, a suit or changed his hair style). This lets you know the festering pimple on a dead dog’s dick is pining for the days when there really was a black community because if the Sambos didn’t stay in their place fucks like Campbell would lynch them.
Boo hoo says Dennis. I remember the days when I could have my way with an unwilling dusky maid and walk away whistling a merry tune. But the DFHs spoiled all my fun and now I must pleasure myself on any small animal I can catch and more frequently, my trusty right hand.
J— said,
March 21, 2008 at 2:19
His bio blurb used to list him as a “reformed liberal ex-journalist.” See, for example, this oldie but goodie by s.z.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
March 21, 2008 at 2:20
roy edroso said,
March 21, 2008 at 1:54
If you’d told me ten years ago that we’d still be getting “The Trouble With Black People” posts in 2008…
Well, actually I would have believed that.
Thank God it’s Friday. What? It’s Thursday? Goddamnit.
Stock exchange is closed tomorrow, for Good Friday. (But teh banks are open.)
Racer, Speed said,
March 21, 2008 at 2:24
I have always been at war with Asia.
Henry Holland said,
March 21, 2008 at 2:27
Stock exchange is closed tomorrow, for Good Friday. (But teh banks are open.)
Dammit! That means tomorrow is the last day of McDonald’s Dollar Filet of Fish special that they have during Lent.
Oh well, Good Friday is a good excuse to give Wagner’s Parsifal a spin.
Ted said,
March 21, 2008 at 2:37
Poke, poke, poke de wingnut, poke ‘im in de eye;
Mock, mock, mock de wingnut, mock ‘im all de time.
Jacob Singer said,
March 21, 2008 at 2:38
I’m guessing Campbell won’t be watching tonight’s Michael-centric episode of LOST.
Jerry, race car driver said,
March 21, 2008 at 2:46
“there are more important things than basketball”
On first day of March Madness the time is to make this argument not.
ps – is that a combover or some sort of weird helmet to repel our Islamofascist mind control signals?
Candy said,
March 21, 2008 at 3:10
O/T by miles but any fans of Pharyngula who want to see something spray -your-monitor-with-beverage funny should check it out.
Blue Buddha said,
March 21, 2008 at 3:11
Mach-Go! Go! Go!
Blue Buddha said,
March 21, 2008 at 3:17
ROFLcopter!
J— said,
March 21, 2008 at 3:17
Also off topic:
Something to keep an eye on.
Christopher said,
March 21, 2008 at 3:26
I’m not too familiar with Renew America, but this strikes me as a really overtly racist article title even for them.
Someone needs to read this and tell me what other racist tropes he brings out in his quest to get black people to stop acting like the KKK thinks they act; I’m really curious how vile he’s comfortable getting.
Incidentally, you don’t actually need a “shorter” for this one; just the title summarizes all we need to know about this idiot.
Rugged in Montana said,
March 21, 2008 at 3:38
Is it possible that you LIE-bruls don’t know that one of your candidates is a woman and that the other is a NEGRO????
You must love having Republican presidents cause George W. Bush is gonna win this election by a landslide (even if he hadn’t been a jet pilot hero of the War of Iraq, in which he flew the most decisive battles and killed millions of El Kaydah by himself, which he did) and you put up a lady and a colored fellow as the competition to an American heartland hero? In case you’ve forgotten, this is the USA of America, and we want AMERICANS to be President, something that seems to be completely lost on you.
Ignorant LIE-brul fashists!!!
mikey said,
March 21, 2008 at 3:38
Ok, I think this is bad news.
I was just upstairs, tying my hair back before cooking dinner.
I discovered that I could make my face look a lot like the little ratfuck girl from “Prickly City”. With a mustache.
Totally creeped me out.
Yikes…
mikey
Jennifer said,
March 21, 2008 at 3:43
You want a lesson from an Asian-American, motherfucker?
Meet Mr. Wu.
More specifically, meet his pigs.
Arky "I just get these headaches" The Blasphemer said,
March 21, 2008 at 3:45
No. You’re not. Trust me on this.
The “best” part is these guys are rocketing towards the unhinged horizon because a black guy who isn’t batshit crazy has shot at the nomination. If Obama actually gets the nom. expect columns that consist of the word N1GGER!! five or six thousand times.
And if he actually wins, expect head asplosions that take out a city block.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
March 21, 2008 at 3:48
And if he actually wins, expect head asplosions that take out a city block.
I can haz hope?
tontocal said,
March 21, 2008 at 3:55
You beat me to it Bitter but:
(Aaahheemm) I believe that I too am widely published on the internets.
tontocal said,
March 21, 2008 at 3:58
And that face!!
I remember, years ago reading a bit of a bio of an author that I was then enamored with (don’t remember her name just now) where she said:
“I write because finally, I feel that I am understood”
It immediately made me think that he writes because no one will fuck him.
Arky "I just get these headaches" The Blasphemer said,
March 21, 2008 at 4:01
Also: Dennis Campbell? = C? Blame D. Penis.
And that is central to my point.
tontocal said,
March 21, 2008 at 4:04
Shorter Dennis Campell:
tontocal said,
March 21, 2008 at 4:08
Oh Rugged….go back to skulking around your compound….will ya?
Lesley said,
March 21, 2008 at 4:36
The long suffering white man. Live and Learn!
Tehanu said,
March 21, 2008 at 5:04
this strikes me as a really overtly racist article title even for them. — Christopher
I thought Gavin made up that title. When I read Christopher’s comment, I did something I almost never do and clicked on the link. Oh. My. God. Dennis the Bearded Menace really did title it that.
WTF is wrong with these people?
Susan of Texas said,
March 21, 2008 at 5:11
Again with the denouncing.
Obama can’t spend every moment of his life denouncing people; he’ll be too busy setting up the madrassas and Allah!World in Florida.
Susan of Texas said,
March 21, 2008 at 5:12
And Dennis, the 70s called. They want their foxy fashions back.
nightjar said,
March 21, 2008 at 5:18
I denounce denounce by denouncing denounced denouncers .
SamFromUtah said,
March 21, 2008 at 5:18
…the 70s called. They want their foxy fashions back.
Odd, I was just thinking he looked like a guy in an early 70s IBM equipment brochure.
mikey said,
March 21, 2008 at 5:20
I feel so…
Oh, I dunno, what…
Denounced, or something….
mikey
Malignant Bouffant said,
March 21, 2008 at 5:25
I believe bearded dickwipe is redundant. Whatta ya think he rocks the beard for?
mikey, how can you tell? That little Nazi girl in Pricky City is nothing but squiggly lines.
mikey said,
March 21, 2008 at 5:46
Yeah, I s’pose.
But it seemed so real.
I gotta get some better drugs….
mikey
Me said,
March 21, 2008 at 5:51
Oh Rugged….go back to skulking around your compound….will ya?
I’m not sure how much more obvious a parody has to be. Seriously, are people still falling for this crap?
ben said,
March 21, 2008 at 5:52
Is the little Nazi girl from Prickly City supposed to have an anus for lips? Jesus, I can’t even look at that thing in the morning.
mikey said,
March 21, 2008 at 5:56
I KNOW.
I need some LSD. What other solution is there?
mikey
mikeinportc said,
March 21, 2008 at 9:50
Dennis Campbell is a freelance writer who has been widely published on the Internet.
If he emulates his Asian heroes and really applies himself, some day he might get paid.
So….I’m Dennis Campbell? ( When in Wingnuttia……use their “logic” :)
Otto Man said,
March 21, 2008 at 13:06
41 comments so far, and no one’s made the obvious Dr. Zaius joke about that photo?
Really?
OTB said,
March 21, 2008 at 14:09
See, I didn’t even click on Campbells’ link, because I thought, “How strange of Gavin to use the “Shorter” concept to make up an obviously false headline for Campbell’s article…sort of a meta-shorter or something. Didn’t know if I liked the concept, thought maybe it sold the guy a little short. Then…then I…like…clicked on the link, and…and…and…
“The lesson of Asian Americans for blacks: there are more important things than basketball and victimhood”
Gruh huh wadda wadda huh? I’m absolutely floored. Next Dennis Campbell article: “As long as those slitty-eyed yellow devils wear their little kimonos and give fat ugly NGO sex tourists like myself happy finishes, while giggling and saying ‘solly cholly’ and bowing obsequiously, America will remain a great country.”
What. the FUCK.
Also, I wish to protest the poor quality of the fake Ruggeds these days. We need a new fake Rugged and better fake Garys, stat.
Lisa said,
March 21, 2008 at 14:59
This is why I love this blog. If I had stumbled across that shit myself. I would have curled into a ball and sucked my thumb for the rest of the morning.
But you always get me to see how pathetically funny such nonsense is.
pedestrian said,
March 21, 2008 at 15:05
OTB, I will admit that I am tempted to look, but I won’t. Not this time. Last time I finally broke down and looked was for that damn “two girls one cup” video that everyone said was so horrible and was, in fact, really horrible. Nope, not doing it, not again.
Sagra said,
March 21, 2008 at 16:53
I’m guessing ED has spoiled his fun more than the DFH’s.
Woodrowfan said,
March 21, 2008 at 17:07
And if he actually wins, expect head asplosions that take out a city block.
I already have extra memory cards for my video camera and a youtube account ready to go! Would setting the videos of rw head explosions to the “1812 Overture” be too much of a cliche’???
Madraven72 said,
March 21, 2008 at 19:12
based on the picture, shouldn’t this douche be wearing an eyepatch and talking about how to prevent the dead from reanimating?
Burley said,
March 21, 2008 at 22:55
What a butt. Everyone knows that blacks aren’t smart enough to compete with the slanty-eyed people. Hell, most of them can barely speak understandable English. Whitey kept the darkies down for hundreds of years, and gotta prop ‘em up now. Hey, cruise down to da hood and buy some crack, dudes, so a bro can keep his bitches happy! And don’t be hatin’ on bros by axin’ them to get a job or nothin’. And school be a waste of time, dude. Why we needin’ school when we got you? Hey, it’s all good. Pass the doobie, man.