Mar
14
14
Shorter Warner Todd Huston
Shocking Story of Gay Porn as Required Reading in High School
Anagram: Shorter Wanton Dudd
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard.
Righteous Bubba said,
March 14, 2008 at 21:44
The rerenewal of America is going as planned.
Saul said,
March 14, 2008 at 21:46
The bottom line is, the homosexual agenda is seeking to indoctinate our Nation’s children in their immorality and contempt for American values. The should be shunned by the rest of American society and if they are ignored long enough eventually they just might SHUT UP! And keep their immorality to themselves.
Crissa said,
March 14, 2008 at 21:47
Man, if he thinks that’s porn, what does he do when he watches TV?
Sagra said,
March 14, 2008 at 21:50
Oh noes! Some kids were forced to hear some gay students talk about bullying! No doubt that experience robbed them of their most important hetero birthright: that warm sense of comradarie and righteous glee that one gets from helping the jocks give a gay kid a beatdown.
This is an outrage!
D.N. Nation said,
March 14, 2008 at 21:51
What’s with extreme wingnuts and a complete lack of web design ability?
(And yes, I know the design over at my place is, uh, utilitarian at best. I’m also not featuring a bunch of columnists/discussion forums/etc.)
Ted said,
March 14, 2008 at 21:53
Saul said,
March 14, 2008 at 21:46
I like pie!
Saul likes typing to nobody. Isn’t time-wasting a sin, Saul? Sloth, or something?
Some Guy said,
March 14, 2008 at 21:53
Saul is right, though: gays are well known for their overriding fear of caps lock.
So what was the pr0n in question, anyways? And Todd Huston have minded if it was lesbian porn about two young, Asian professional dancers finding love in the big city? Cause I gotta tell ya, that’s going to hold a high schooler’s attention way better then Rudyard Kipling tripe.
t4toby said,
March 14, 2008 at 21:53
The Homosexual Agenda = Gee, it’d be nice if we weren’t harassed and beaten to death for who we are. Oh, and fashion.
Nefarious, I know.
Susan of Texas said,
March 14, 2008 at 21:54
Frankly, I’m worried about the Jock agenda. They want us all to shower together while people with tape recorders and video cameras are running in and out. They are always touching each other, especially in the buttocks area. They take drugs and by their example try to seduce our male youth into a life of drug, violence, and naughty touching.
Ted said,
March 14, 2008 at 21:54
What’s with extreme wingnuts and a complete lack of web design ability?
Remember, the guys at RedState already complained about this. Apparently none of the ‘good’ web designers will work for them because they’re all liberals. That was their explanation for why their site sucks platypus balls.
t4toby said,
March 14, 2008 at 21:56
It looks like the bargain aisle at Wal*Mart.
D.N. Nation said,
March 14, 2008 at 21:58
Oh man, my cheeks hurt from smirking at the Huston column sig:
Warner Todd Huston’s thoughtful commentary, sometimes irreverent often historically based, is featured on many websites such as renewamerica.us, townhall.com, opinioneditorials.com, and americandaily.com, among many, many others.
So who wrote this? Judging by the Babel-tastic structure, I’m guessing Kaye Grogan.
Some Guy said,
March 14, 2008 at 22:00
Dammit, t4toby, how dare you embolden and support their dangerous, far-left extremist, insidious, anti-American agenda here!
Dorothy said,
March 14, 2008 at 22:02
So to wingnuts, “you ought not hit people–it ain’t nice” = “porn”?
Oh, wait…
“bullying” = “porn”
God, they make so much more sense, now! It all coalesces into a blinding, “bwahaha” epiphany.
Shut up, that’s why.
gbear said,
March 14, 2008 at 22:05
Saul, if I promise to let you shun me will you do it somewhere else?
Ted said,
March 14, 2008 at 22:08
Shut up, that’s why.
I really am delighted that Ace added that to the phrasebook. I’m sure it will provide many laughs for the future.
gbear said,
March 14, 2008 at 22:09
Oh, and fashion.
Oh shit. I missed that one. Crap. I like my Sears’ bluejeans.
Doodle Bean said,
March 14, 2008 at 22:10
Dorothy,
According to the last link, Confidentiality Agreement = ‘inappropriate curricula’ = teh gay pr0n oh my god how ever can I go on?!?!?!?
Or maybe because it was a “Confidentiality Agreement” it was extra nasty.
Yeah, that must be it.
D. Sidhe said,
March 14, 2008 at 22:11
And what, no greeting this time? I’d come to think of it as foreplay, of a sort.
Duros Hussein 62 said,
March 14, 2008 at 22:14
I’m not gay, and I haven’t seen Angels in America in about 3 years, but I think someone may not be doing it right.
Or perhaps just not reading it right.
gbear said,
March 14, 2008 at 22:15
Anything that reads High School Confidential is going to raise some flags. If you’re an old prude.
http://www.imdb.com/media/rm2980224256/tt0051724
mikey said,
March 14, 2008 at 22:16
Oh shit.
For work I have to sign NDAs all the time.
Will I go blind?
mikey
SamFromUtah said,
March 14, 2008 at 22:17
I think the biggest advances in mainstream homoeroticism have been made in fast-food ads. How many of them are there along the lines of: Macho Guy X ignores a hot chick to ogle some man carrying a bag of food?
There’s an Arby’s commercial like that playing around here now, featuring three construction workers whose arousal is denoted by the conpicuously phallic Arby’s hat logo floating above their heads. I know I’ve seen others in that mold.
Softcore, yes, but we must make baby steps.
Doodle Bean said,
March 14, 2008 at 22:21
mikey,
let’s just hope they are “NDA’s”. If so, you might just be o.k.
J-Bob said,
March 14, 2008 at 22:22
Is “Angels in America” the first piece of “gay porn” to win the Pulitzer Prize? Do you think Chi Chi LaRue is terribly disappointed?
Ted said,
March 14, 2008 at 22:23
Ace O. Spades is fugly. Just thought I’d put that out there.
gbear said,
March 14, 2008 at 22:25
I think the biggest advances in mainstream homoeroticism have been made in fast-food….
My only experience with that was when the night manager at the White Castle at Central and Hennepin dropped his phone number into my food bag one evening. I did talk with him later and he was the most depressed living person I’d ever encountered. Story concludes without losing it’s PG rating.
SamFromUtah said,
March 14, 2008 at 22:28
Story concludes without losing it’s PG rating.
So once again, real life doesn’t live up to the promises in the commercials. Sorry to hear it.
gbear said,
March 14, 2008 at 22:29
It never does…
t4toby said,
March 14, 2008 at 22:32
I had to add that, gbear. The comment needed Teh Snark.
I have met fashionable straight people, and unfashionable unstraight people.
I have, I swear.
actor212 said,
March 14, 2008 at 22:35
I don’t think “bukkit” is the right trope here. He has a full beard.
Hm, maybe hem a beerded clam?
Rugged in Montana said,
March 14, 2008 at 22:37
The bottom line is, the homosexual agenda is seeking to indoctinate our Nation’s children in their immorality and contempt for American values. The should be shunned by the rest of American society and if they are ignored long enough eventually they just might SHUT UP! And keep their immorality to themselves.
The wave of smut pushed by Hollywood and atheists is rejected by all USA Americans who are American Patriots. If homeschooling became mandatory, we’d soon see a moral heartland, rather than a Barney Frank land!! No homosexulites are allowed in my basement- EVER, and I mean never. The Montana Militia legalized sodomy in 1952, but it’s members never practice this as it causes a loss of male essence! Hollywood WISHES we would lose our essences, but as USA Americans, we hold sacred our American values.
Ted said,
March 14, 2008 at 22:39
I have met fashionable straight people, and unfashionable unstraight people.
I’m gay, and even straight people make fun of my bad fashion sense.
pedestrian said,
March 14, 2008 at 22:39
I once hooked up with a hottie in the bathroom of the Starbucks that I worked at. We must not have been having too much fun though, because the motion-activated lights kept going out. Also, the floor was pretty cold and damp. All in all, it was more like a visit to the doctor than anything else.
Sometimes life is less depressing when you don’t even try.
gbear said,
March 14, 2008 at 22:42
So once again, real life doesn’t live up to the promises in the commercials.
Does anyone think that via*ra actually brings joy to Ms. Dole’s life?
t4toby said,
March 14, 2008 at 22:43
actor212-
This is why.
Righteous Bubba said,
March 14, 2008 at 22:44
Does anyone think that via*ra actually brings joy to Ms. Dole’s life?
Sure. Bob runs off and plays emperor.
OB-GYN Kenobi said,
March 14, 2008 at 22:48
He just *thinks* that’s what t3h pr0n is, never having met a lady walrus before. He’s just uninformed.
Shall we take up a collection and send him to the zoo?
t4toby said,
March 14, 2008 at 22:50
Obi-gyne-
He’s been to the zoo. He’s been to the zoo…
Rugged in Montana said,
March 14, 2008 at 22:53
The LIE-brul media is trying to stimulate free sex…I can not be opposed!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-QuDK5mmOvA
tontocal said,
March 14, 2008 at 22:56
Ummm, I don’t know if you remember but, ummm, teh ‘ignoring’ and teh ‘shunning’? Already tried. Didn’t work out so well. And the only thing I have on my agenda is getting some grocery shopping done.
bklyn said,
March 14, 2008 at 23:00
So if I read that Angels in America book I’m gonna be teh gey?
pedestrian said,
March 14, 2008 at 23:01
If porn can change your sexuality, wouldn’t it be more effective to distribute straight porn, thereby converting the gay students?
SamFromUtah said,
March 14, 2008 at 23:02
So if I read that Angels in America book I’m gonna be teh gey?
Read, hell! If you avoid burning it you’re gonna be teh ghey.
I think that’s the wingnut argument, anyway.
t4toby said,
March 14, 2008 at 23:02
Just thinking about that book makes you Teh Ghey!
Galactic Dustbin said,
March 14, 2008 at 23:04
What’s with extreme wingnuts and a complete lack of web design ability?
Remember, the guys at RedState already complained about this. Apparently none of the ‘good’ web designers will work for them because they’re all liberals. That was their explanation for why their site sucks platypus balls.
that and they are cheap bastards- you get what you pay for.
GumbyAnne said,
March 14, 2008 at 23:07
It is like some sort of echo chamber with these people. I doubt that Huston or any of the other wingnuts commenting on this have even read the damn thing.
I have read it and it does include some sex-related content (since it is about AIDS, this is not exactly over the top as something to legitimately be included), but it is not at all pornographic. How could a play (when just reading the script) be pornographic anyway?
Would there be some sort of narrator off to the side describing everything or what?
Sheesh.
pedestrian said,
March 14, 2008 at 23:07
Didn’t Redstate estimate that it’s new design would cost $75,000? I wonder if they every plan on unveiling it…
SomeNYGuy said,
March 14, 2008 at 23:10
Whenever I’m looking for some hot gay porn, I always check the list of winners of the Pulitzer Prize for Drama first. I find SOUTH PACIFIC, THE DIARY OF ANNE FRANK, FIORELLO! and THE EFFECT OF GAMMA RAYS ON MAN-IN-THE-MOON MARIGOLDS particularly arousing. Fap-fap-fap-fap-fap….
Huston’s writing is especially powerful when he follows a killer second paragraph like this:
with an illuminating enlargement of his theme in the third paragraph:
I’m blown away. If only there were a Pulitzer Prize for careless typing, I’d nominate him myself.
Raznor said,
March 14, 2008 at 23:17
And in the Conservatives don’t even bother proofreading their articles, this paragraph appears:
And the next paragraph in the article is:
Seriously, this is like a college freshman, pulling an all nighter to write his paper to get it in right at 8am. (Yes, that’s me I’m talking about, but I wasn’t paid for it)
Nim, ham hock of liberty said,
March 14, 2008 at 23:31
“The book, “Angels in America: A Gay Fantasia on National Themes,” has numerous passages that describes gay sexual encounters in exacting, sometimes violent, detail.”
Another wingnut that has trouble with the difference between singular and plural.
Dan Someone said,
March 14, 2008 at 23:32
I’m gay, and even straight people make fun of my bad fashion sense.
Well, I’m straight, and my fashion sense has made gay people’s heads explode.
Smut Clyde said,
March 14, 2008 at 23:32
I am not so aroused by exacting detail, which is probably a good thing when I’m at the library reading the specifications of someone’s experiment.
But what about excruciating detail? — that is hot.
mikey said,
March 14, 2008 at 23:37
Odd. I’m a TERRIBLE dresser, and the only people who EVER compliment me on my clothes are gay guys.
I am partial to soft old denim and leather, which may be part of the explanation…
mikey
Matt T. said,
March 14, 2008 at 23:42
So if I read that Angels in America book I’m gonna be teh gey?
Just to be safe, better assume that reading any book not published by Regency will turn you gay. And since you really don’t have to read the latest lump of wingnut toejam by Limbaugh/Coulter/Hannity/Savage/does it really matter anymore?/D’Souza, just buy ‘em, it’s all gravy. Women would read books, but they’re all too stupid in science and math, so therefore, only da queers read and write. And don’t worry about reading the Bible, either. Matter of fact, the very worst thing you can do is read the Bible. It just tells you to hate fags and black people and most everybody else anyway. Trust us, it’s always been this way, so you think you know better than Jesus and Abraham Washington?
*Snap*
Ow! I think I broke something in my brain.
PeeJ said,
March 14, 2008 at 23:43
mikey, I think you just made gbear take a second look….
Jay B. said,
March 14, 2008 at 23:43
Did he read the part about when the dingy goes in the oh-oh?
Southern Beale said,
March 14, 2008 at 23:44
Wow. This must be different from the Pullitzer-Tony-London Drama Critics-New York Drama Critics’ Circle-Kennedy Centre-Drama Desk award winner that I’m familiar with.
He must have been confused by the words “gay fantasia.” That’s easily understandable.
Rugged in Montana said,
March 14, 2008 at 23:45
As a patriotic U.S. American, I wear buckskin underdrawers.
FuriousGeorge said,
March 14, 2008 at 23:47
This song promotes homosexuality.
PeeJ said,
March 14, 2008 at 23:48
The dingy in the oh-oh?
You mean the peepee? Is the oh-oh the male woowoo?
Sagra said,
March 14, 2008 at 23:55
I didn’t realize KBR had gone into the web design biz.
Rugged in Montana said,
March 15, 2008 at 0:02
This song promotes homosexuality.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=InZNBcJTmWs
SomeNYGuy said,
March 15, 2008 at 0:02
Isn’t “gay fantasia” that movie where Mickey fucks Uncle Walt?
SomeNYGuy said,
March 15, 2008 at 0:06
Personally, I’m more interested in a raise than a promotion.
g said,
March 15, 2008 at 0:43
Isn’t “gay fantasia” that movie……
Does he mean the American Idol singer? I didn’t know she was gay.
billy pilgrim said,
March 15, 2008 at 0:45
Rugged! A mekons Reference! I’ll come over there and kiss you!
btw, all of the mekons are Socialists.
FuriousGeorge said,
March 15, 2008 at 0:46
This song promotes homosexuality.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=InZNBcJTmWs
Rock and roll!
No Mekons fans here?
FuriousGeorge said,
March 15, 2008 at 0:47
Never mind, there’s one.
FuriousGeorge said,
March 15, 2008 at 0:53
Wow, you even named your blog after that song. Complete coincidence – it’s probably my favorite Mekons song, that’s my favorite line in the song, and this post reminded me of it.
gbear said,
March 15, 2008 at 1:02
Mekons fans: The Mekons are going to be appearing on March 28 in St. Paul at an event for MN Public Radio. MPR will probably post the songs on their website a day or two later.
http://www.publicbroadcasting.net/mpr/events.eventsmain?action=showEvent&eventID=684170
Brandi said,
March 15, 2008 at 1:31
I think the biggest advances in mainstream homoeroticism have been made in fast-food ads. How many of them are there along the lines of: Macho Guy X ignores a hot chick to ogle some man carrying a bag of food?
Taken to its logical extreme in this parody.
tontocal said,
March 15, 2008 at 2:25
Very funny Brandi….very funny!
Vin Scully said,
March 15, 2008 at 3:05
MAN! First we talk Mamet, then we talk Kushner, then t4toby busts out an Albee reference and SomeNYGuy mentions Fiorello!, of all things – I gotta say, Sadly, No! is quickly becoming the theater-iest site I go to …
Woodrowfan said,
March 15, 2008 at 3:08
For work I have to sign NDAs all the time.
Will I go blind?
mikey
no, just do it in private and wash your hands afterwards…
Hysterical Woman said,
March 15, 2008 at 3:44
I’m just wondering about the “racists” part. Did he just mean to say racy instead?
Also, it should be noted that some of those sexual encounters involve Roy Cohn.
Henry Holland said,
March 15, 2008 at 3:50
I’ve had to almost give back the toaster I got when I joined Teh Ghey Agender a couple of times, but I *loathe* Angels in America with all the fire of all the suns in this and the 10 or 11 other universes that might exist. The homophobes are, as always, dumb as as a box of hair but if they think that some precious little teenager is going to catch teh ghey by watching that ghastly blog rant masquerading as a two-part play, they should force the little dears to watch the Last Living Bolshevik scene or any scene Louis is in and that kid will never touch a cock other than his own, ever.
mikey said,
March 15, 2008 at 3:54
Henry, I dunno where y’been.
But dammit. Welcome back…
mikey
Red said,
March 15, 2008 at 4:41
#
Not as much as this one:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=ZOU8GIRUd_g
Anne Laurie said,
March 15, 2008 at 4:52
Oh, wait… “bullying” = “porn”
God, they make so much more sense, now! It all coalesces into a blinding, “bwahaha” epiphany. Shut up, that’s why.
Dorothy, I’m afraid you are correct. I guess if the only skin-to-skin contact you allow yourself to “enjoy” with the people that turn you on is when you beat them up, watching other people beat up the objects of your desire would be erotic.
Anyone ever wonder if the whole Talibangelical intertoobz empire is a secret plot to get us not-insane people to kill ourselves in despair for the human race?
I’ve only seen the HBO version of Angels in America (sorry, Mr. Holland, but, y’know, Emma Thompson). What Huston may be shouting about is that part where the Mormon guy talks about reading the Bible where Jacob wrestles with the angel, which gives Mormon guy a peak sexual experience. Huston always thought the erotic subtext to Jacob-and-the-Angel was his very own special secret, and now the lousy Gay Agendists have had to go and spoil it by splashing it all over the high school locker rooms.
mikey said,
March 15, 2008 at 5:32
Um, ok.
Sure.
Is that like when I touched myself inappropriately to “A Lacy Affair”?
Gawd, I hope it is…
mikey
Gay Guy said,
March 15, 2008 at 5:40
Soft old denim and leather are always good fashion choices, as long as you’re wearing the right shoes.
Smut Clyde said,
March 15, 2008 at 6:28
First we talk Mamet, then we talk Kushner,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8wZWf9mdd0Q
RobW said,
March 15, 2008 at 8:48
Isn’t “gay fantasia” that movie where Mickey fucks Uncle Walt?
No, I think it’s the version where the dancing alligator lifts the hippo’s ballerina skirt and SHE’S GOT A DICK!!!
goat or panic said,
March 15, 2008 at 12:27
The Gay Agenda
1. Have anonymous sex in a Starbucks bathroom.
2. Indoctrinate our Nation’s children in my immorality and contempt for American values.
3. Buy cat food.
My work here is done.
goat or panic said,
March 15, 2008 at 12:45
“Isn’t “gay fantasia” that movie where Mickey fucks Uncle Walt?”
Perhaps.
Disney has had quite a few gay friendly titles.
“Felchy Friday”
“Schlong of the South”
“Chi Chi LaRue’s: 101 Dominicans”
“Herbie the Butt Plug”
Butt Pirates of the Carbibean”
goat or panic said,
March 15, 2008 at 12:48
Mamet, Kushner, Albee, Fiorello and Chi Chi LaRue.
The circle is now complete.
Bill S said,
March 15, 2008 at 17:57
The Circle of Life?
gbear said,
March 15, 2008 at 17:58
goat/panic, you missed the classic that kicked the whole Uncle Walt thing off:
“Steamroom Willie”
gbear said,
March 15, 2008 at 18:42
Oops, that might have been ‘Steambath…
tontocal said,
March 15, 2008 at 19:46
I just wanted to say……I ‘gaylove’ all of you!!…..(sniff)
Duros Hussein 62 said,
March 15, 2008 at 19:57
Isn’t “gay fantasia” that movie where Mickey fucks Uncle Walt?
I always thought the marching brooms were overtly phallic.
Duros Hussein 62 said,
March 15, 2008 at 19:58
Steambath Willie for the win.
Arky "I just get these headaches" The Blasphemer said,
March 16, 2008 at 5:00
Warner Todd Huston = Hard Rod On Wet Nuts.
And that is central to my point.
gbear said,
March 16, 2008 at 6:24
Wow. Arky wins too. That’s awesome.
Bitter Scribe said,
March 16, 2008 at 20:02
Did you check out the bio at the end of this guy’s column?
Warner Todd Huston’s thoughtful commentary, sometimes irreverent often historically based…
OFTEN HISTORICALLY BASED?
Oh, lizard shit! You can’t make this stuff up.
Bitter Scribe said,
March 16, 2008 at 20:07
My only experience with that was when the night manager at the White Castle at Central and Hennepin dropped his phone number into my food bag one evening.
gbear, that’s absolutely shocking! You mean you actually ate at White Castle?