14
Shorter Glenn Reynolds
RANK ANTISEMITISM in the Democratic congressional primary in Memphis
- If Barack Obama wants to prove he’s not just another crazy Negro, he’d better condemn some guy whom no one has ever heard of.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard.
As an added note, we can all see where this game is headed, no? Every week, the Ole Perfesser will find some black guy somewhere who said something crazy and remark darkly about how “disturbing” he finds it that Obama hasn’t come out and denounced him yet. As in, “If Obama really wanted to be a racial healer, he’d let people know that he doesn’t support sexually harassing female employees like Isiah Thomas does. Heh!”
It’s going to be a long, long campaign season, friends. Get ready for lots more shit like this.
UPDATE: And keeping in the spirit of things, I’d like to apologize on behalf of ignorant crackers everywhere for Glenn Reynolds. We honkies aren’t all this insane. I mean it.
UPDATE II: Has Obama apologized for That’s So Raven yet?
Because if he doesn’t, somebody probably should.
Invigilator said,
February 14, 2008 at 2:06
Has Obama condemned Ward Churchill? Because, you know, every liberal must!
tbogg said,
February 14, 2008 at 2:06
I’m still waiting for Reynolds to apologize for the Scopes trial and Johnny Knoxville.
t4toby said,
February 14, 2008 at 2:08
It isn’t racist to assume that one black man is responsible for every other black man’s issues. Aren’t they all in the same fraternity or something? I saw Revenge of the Nerds!
Heh, indeed.
a different brad said,
February 14, 2008 at 2:19
Well, tbogg, there is Bonnaroo. Anywhere in the US that marijuana is effectively decriminalized in public is a boon to society.
And, to get the apology ball rolling, as a rich white man I’d like to apologize for our role in world history.
Colleen said,
February 14, 2008 at 2:27
As an Irish American I’d like to apologize for all drunken shenanigans committed by fellow IA’s. Now can someone please explain what this guy was doing at a Fogerty concert? Fortunate son? Huh?
christian h. said,
February 14, 2008 at 2:29
It is an outrage that Barack HUSSEIN O
sbama has not condemned the armed robbery that I’m certain occurred today somewhere right here in Chicago. And what does he mean by “change” anyway?Ex-Fed said,
February 14, 2008 at 2:32
Other things Glenn Reynolds thinks Obama must apologize for:
1. Clubber Lang shoving Mick aside, causing his heart attack and death, in Rocky III.
2. “Shaft” backup singers rude, dismissive.
3. Does Samuel L. Jackson REALLY need to use all that rough language in Pulp Fiction?
4. Rawandan genocide.
Typical Republican said,
February 14, 2008 at 2:34
I support whatever Glenn Reynolds says because it sounds an awful lot like the stuff Rush Limbaugh tells me I should support.
That’s why I hate all those phony soldiers who come back from Iraq and disagree with me.
El Cid said,
February 14, 2008 at 2:34
What about the Kingpin in Daredevil? Hussein bin Obama has failed to denounce this badly written comic book movie character, which is pretty much the same as telling all black youth to become super-strong hired killers who lead multi-million dollar crime organizations.
Invigilator said,
February 14, 2008 at 2:36
– “All the talk about change, but without defining what that change should be is an opening for all kind of mischief,” Hoenlein said at a press conference in Jerusalem. –
I have some sympathy with this view. Until the second Bush administration I used to think that “reform” meant “improve.” Now I realize it just means “change for the worse and skim off some bucks for your cronies in the process if possible.”
a different brad said,
February 14, 2008 at 2:46
But… the Kingpin is a big, huge white guy.
MJN said,
February 14, 2008 at 2:46
Let’s try this one:
“If Obama really wanted to be a racial healer, he’d let people know that he doesn’t support sexually harassing female employees like Clarence Thomas does. Heh!”
a different brad said,
February 14, 2008 at 2:46
Yeah, I said big and huge.
Got a problem with it?
Dagoril said,
February 14, 2008 at 2:50
Well I certainly hope that McCain and Huckabee will both be apologizing for whatever wingnut bullshit Pam Oshry said today. And yesterday. And the day before. And the day before that. u.s.w.
Really Pukes, you don’t want to go down this road. There’s a lot more objectionable stuff on your side than on our side.
Steve M. said,
February 14, 2008 at 2:50
I like Steve Cohen a lot, and not just because he once gave me some absolutely amazing John Fogerty tickets (to the Mud Island show that was his first appearance after a decade of not touring).
I’m the Cracker’s age, but goddammit, Cracker, go back and listen to a record made when the guy actually could rock. Middle-aged farts who brag about going to oldies shows make me long for Wild in the Streets, even if I’d be in the camps, too.
fascistphil said,
February 14, 2008 at 2:51
Big, Huge. Cuckold.
Heh. Indeed.
Gary Ruppert said,
February 14, 2008 at 2:53
The fact is, I has a dustbin.
Principal Blackman said,
February 14, 2008 at 2:55
Obama has not denounced black guys committing flagrant fouls against white guys in the NBA. This is evidence of how unserious he is about both racial harmony and crime.
ignobility said,
February 14, 2008 at 3:01
A black woman cut me off in traffic yesterday and I still haven’t heard from Obama!!
christian h. said,
February 14, 2008 at 3:03
But… the Kingpin is a big, huge white guy.
This was, of course, central to El Cid’s point.
El Cid said,
February 14, 2008 at 3:04
Not in the movie version.
a different brad said,
February 14, 2008 at 3:08
Ahh. Well, that’s what you get for watching a Ben Affleck movie.
atheist said,
February 14, 2008 at 3:12
As a mongrel Sicilian- Irish- Polish- German- Ukrainian- American, I’d like to apologize for the Mafia, the Nazis, the Fenian Brotherhood, Victor Yankovych, and whatever the Poles did that was bad.
I’m really sorry.
Ted said,
February 14, 2008 at 3:12
I know a black lady who makes a modest living selling weed. That’s not very presidential and Obama needs to address it.
christian h. said,
February 14, 2008 at 3:14
I know a black lady who makes a modest living selling weed. That’s not very presidential and Obama needs to address it.
Actually, my understanding is that Michelle Obama needs to address this one.
J. A. Baker said,
February 14, 2008 at 3:15
Forget Churchill! Obama needs to condemn that crazy lady who “threatened” Cockslappio’s infant kid in order to convince Reynolds that he’s not some weird *insert racial slur here*!
mikey said,
February 14, 2008 at 3:20
Well, as long as you’re on the subject, a black dood once sold me an empty bindle in a bar for $40.00 and Obama hasn’t sent me a refund.
It’s ok, cause I ran the fucker down just outside the parking lot.
Sucks to not have a getaway car.
But still, the Obama campaign’s raising millions, they could make it right…
mikey
Clint said,
February 14, 2008 at 3:21
I will withhold my vote for Obama until he properly apologizes for “The Adventures of Pluto Nash”.
And “Norbit”.
jas said,
February 14, 2008 at 3:30
Oh, Clint, you’d best spend some time at IMDB. You’re going to need a much broader apology for much of Eddie Murphy’s oeuvre.
Jay B. said,
February 14, 2008 at 3:31
I call on Reynolds to preemptively denounce Cyborg-Americans’ future attempt to kill Fleshies in the terrible Binary Wars of 2094.
Rightwingsnarkle said,
February 14, 2008 at 3:35
Ah, yes, bringing back those ol’ perfessor robots. I had almost forgotten.
Good times, man. Good times.
Krassen said,
February 14, 2008 at 3:37
OT: read Joe Wilson’s article at HuffPost. Good, sincere, and strong.
We’ll see how it plays out. You can see how damaged and traumatized the guy is, he wants blood.
I am all for B.O. and a more optimistic/inclusive/constructive approach.
However, when everything is said and done, the whole ‘Niger yellowcake” saga up to the pardon of Scooter Libby pardon will come down as one of the darkest moments in U.S. history.
An administration misleads a country to go to war by fabricating evidence and intimidating/retaliating a legitimate sceptic, and then blatantly perverts the judicial process to get away with it. You just can’t top that.
Obama needs to call Ambasador Wilson and assure him that there will be some form of retribution/demand for responsibility.
christian h. said,
February 14, 2008 at 3:50
Also OT: does anyone else think that S. Colbert and Eleanor Holmes-Norton have the best chemistry on TV?
mextremist said,
February 14, 2008 at 3:57
Perhaps Barack Obama should make a point of condemning Alan Keyes. Wait…
Smiling Mortician said,
February 14, 2008 at 3:57
Well, as long as we’re all OT anyway (and my apologies if anyone addressed this in any of the other six — count ‘em, six — threads y’all had the nerve to develop while I was working today) — anyone hear the NPR interview with Mark MacKiinnon (sp?) today? He’s one of the architects of the Bush sliming of McCain in the 2000 primaries — and he’s now McCain’s senior campaign advisor. He actually said that he won’t work on McCain’s campaign if both McCain and Obama get the nominations because he doesn’t want to slime Obama.
Interesting. I got the impression he might work for McCain but vote for Obama, or something . . . and of course, he’d be perfectly happy to slime Clinton . . .
Ted said,
February 14, 2008 at 3:59
Ah, yes, bringing back those ol’ perfessor robots. I had almost forgotten.
The best, of course, is the wingnut Transformer. But the one above is damn funny.
Also OT: does anyone else think that S. Colbert and Eleanor Holmes-Norton have the best chemistry on TV?
His interviews are usually the best parts of his show, but the interviews with her are unusually hilarious.
stryx said,
February 14, 2008 at 4:16
Big, huge, rock-solid Spike Lee is a big, huge, rock-solid Obama fan. When will the Senator distance himself from what they did to Danny Aiello’s pizza shop?
Jennifer said,
February 14, 2008 at 4:21
Mark MacKiinnon (sp?) today? He’s one of the architects of the Bush sliming of McCain in the 2000 primaries — and he’s now McCain’s senior campaign advisor. He actually said that he won’t work on McCain’s campaign if both McCain and Obama get the nominations because he doesn’t want to slime Obama.
McKinnon just figured out that voters aren’t going to be all that shocked to find out Obama has a black child…two, even.
Johnny Coelacanth said,
February 14, 2008 at 4:28
OT, but Radiohead fans may be interested in free, downloadable, authorized remixes to be found here.
atheist said,
February 14, 2008 at 4:29
This dude has a point- if Obama wins the nomination, he will be hit by the Conservative Attack Machine just as hard as Clinton would be, if not harder. He’s a black guy from Chicago with Hussein as a middle name. He won’t escape the racist bullshit.
stryx said,
February 14, 2008 at 4:30
When will Obama distance himself from Philippe Sudre Dartiguenave? Heh, indeedilydoo.
Buggin' Out said,
February 14, 2008 at 4:34
Big, huge, rock-solid Spike Lee is a big, huge, rock-solid Obama fan. When will the Senator distance himself from what they did to Danny Aiello’s pizza shop?
Not ’til we get some brothers on that wall.
stryx said,
February 14, 2008 at 4:45
I demand to know at what point precisely B.H. Obama will denounce Karellen:
Um, wait. Glenn actually wants that.
Invigilator said,
February 14, 2008 at 4:50
As a Scandinavian-American, I would like to apologize for the Viking attacks on the monastery of Lindisfarne, England, beginning on June 8, 793, as well as our lack of respect for the relics of Saint Cuthbert.
Invigilator said,
February 14, 2008 at 4:53
I would also like to know when Rudy Giuliani plans to apologize for the rape of the Sabines.
D.N. Nation said,
February 14, 2008 at 4:54
Sigh.
What the fuck is this sack of shit talking about?
Johnny Coelacanth said,
February 14, 2008 at 4:55
When will Obama finally get around to denouncing Barrack Hussein Obama? His long association with this madrassa-trained person of color; who refused to take his pledge of office on a bible and instead took it on a stack of aborted, Caucasian fetuses (sorry, make that Womb Babies), raises many questions. Questions that can no longer be ignored. Questions like, if Obama becomes president, will our women be wearing burquas in six months or three? Will NASCAR be interrupted by mandatory calls to prayer? Must we tear down every church to build a mosque, or will Obama spare the Unitarian Universalists? Given these choices, you can see why we must vote Republican in the fall.
Caitlyn Sith said,
February 14, 2008 at 4:59
As a North Carolinian I would like to apologize for Jesse Helms, Mayberry R.F.D., Coach K, Clay Aiken, Thomas Wolfe’s unedited manuscripts, the Archers of Loaf breaking up, the Coca Cola 600, the aiding and abetting of Eric Robinson, the first female chapter of the Ku Klux Klan, and the “rawrrr” sound effect played every goddam minute of every Carolina Panthers home game.
Johnny Coelacanth said,
February 14, 2008 at 5:01
Oh, and while we’re at it: As a native Texan, I offer my most sincere and abject apologies for Texans in general, and George W. Bush in particular. Dear God, please forgive me, it wasn’t my fault.
stryx said,
February 14, 2008 at 5:02
Husseinalicious Obamatron must denounce that wife-murdering mercenary.
Rude am I in my speech, and little blessed with the soft phrase of peace, indeedy.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
February 14, 2008 at 5:03
Michael Gerson, WWJD with you?
“Yet every element of our response seems hobbled.”
You helped to lie the country into a needless war with Iraq. A name conspicuous by its absence from this column, which is nothing more than a screed whining for more warring on the scary brown people by those lefty leftist Europeans.
They were smart not to fall for the neocon siren song. We’ll be paying for your duplicity for years to come.
W@nker Of The Day you are, Michael.
~
mikey said,
February 14, 2008 at 5:05
Ahh, FUCK!
Archers of Loaf broke up?
Web in Front is one of my FAVES!!
mikey
Clint said,
February 14, 2008 at 5:05
Must we tear down every church to build a mosque, or will Obama spare the Unitarian Universalists?
God/Goddess/whoever, if anyone, I hope so.
Me said,
February 14, 2008 at 5:09
Has Obama condemned Ward Churchill?
Fuck. I was gonna make some clever reference to Ward Churchill, but it just doesn’t pay to be late around here.
stryx said,
February 14, 2008 at 5:09
When will B. INSANE Obama categorically state that he will have no dealings with peanut butter?
It would be irresponsible not to speculate.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
February 14, 2008 at 5:10
Hmm. My Gerson rant seems a non-sequitor, without the link.
But there was one important moment. Defense Secretary Robert Gates delivered the latest in a series of rebukes to European nations for not sharing enough of the burden in Afghanistan. “We must not — we cannot — become a two-tiered alliance of those who are willing to fight and those who are not,” he argued. This would “effectively destroy the alliance.”
Laura Bush apologizes for the error.
J— said,
February 14, 2008 at 5:11
Steve Cohen represents Tennessee’s 9th Congressional District, which is majority black. In 2006 Cohen won his seat with 60% of the vote. He beat independent Jake Ford and Republican Mark White. Cohen has endorsed Obama. Some kook from outside the district has distributed anti-Semitic flyers six months before the Democratic primary. Nikki Tinker, who’s most likely to be Cohen’s main opponent for the Democratic nomination, has condemned the kook’s bigotry. Leave it to Ye Ole Perfesser to cast logic and local context aside and turn this into a test for the junior senator from Illinois.
Dee Loralei said,
February 14, 2008 at 5:13
D.N. Nation, Steve Cohen a very progressive freshman congressman from Memphis is being primary challenged by a DLC/ Harold Ford Jr wannabe . Several local AA church pastors have dumped on Cohen for voting to add gays, trandgenders etc to hate crimes protections. They say it will keep them from preaching that homosexuality is a sin. Anyway, this minister in Muphreesboro, some 60 miles away sent out a horrible flyer to the district about how Cohen is a Jew and Jews killed Jesus. It was atrocious. I have no idea who this pastor is, if he’s black, white, Rep or Dem. I do know he has no effing dog in this hunt. Cohen is no where near his district. I guess Reynolds wants this to be Obama’s Sistah Soljyah.
Speaking of Memphis, has anyone heard anything from or about HTML Mencken since the Super Tuesday tornados? I got the impression sometime ago that he lives near Memphis. And I’ve been looking for news on here about him.
Dee Loralei said,
February 14, 2008 at 5:15
sorry, meant to include the real newspaper link. I try not ever to click on a right-wing web site.
http://commercialappeal.com/news/2008/feb/12/pastors-flier-used-to-incite-tensions/
stryx said,
February 14, 2008 at 5:20
Yeah!! Bring us the Rice Tender!!
Indeedy.
Me said,
February 14, 2008 at 5:21
As a German-American, I’d like to apologize for…
Fuck it, I’m not apologizing for shit. Deutschland Über Alles, motherfuckers.
atheist said,
February 14, 2008 at 5:21
Actually, yeah were has HTML Mencken been?
robert green said,
February 14, 2008 at 5:22
as a jew, i want to apologize for all the innocent egyptian kids our genocidal lunatic of a made-up-sky-fairy allegedly slaughtered in retribution for something that neither they nor their parents had in fact done.
also, sorry to lot’s wife, who was foolish enough not.to.fucking.listen.to.sky.fairy, and after helping out by taking care of the genocidal angels in her house deigned to not look over her shoulder.
Dagoril said,
February 14, 2008 at 5:28
and whatever the Poles did that was bad
I for one still haven’t forgiven them for their part in the Time of Troubles
Why has Obama not apologized for this too?!
Kathleen said,
February 14, 2008 at 5:29
thank god there are centrists like Glenn Reynolds around to keep the partisanship down.
atheist said,
February 14, 2008 at 5:32
I’d like to apologize for Cesar Borgia… what a dick
Johnny Coelacanth said,
February 14, 2008 at 5:33
I think now is an appropriate time for Obama to either distance himself from Sistah Souljah or apologize for her inappropriate remarks.
atheist said,
February 14, 2008 at 5:36
Cesare Borgia, I mean.
atheist said,
February 14, 2008 at 5:40
I for one still haven’t forgiven them for their part in the Time of Troubles
Why has Obama not apologized for this too?!
The Time of Troubles- how could I have forgotten?
peter ramus said,
February 14, 2008 at 5:44
That image of Glennbot . . . nice!
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
February 14, 2008 at 5:55
And the WOTD goes to…Instatputz!!!
False Dmitri said,
February 14, 2008 at 6:15
Fracking poles.
ron said,
February 14, 2008 at 6:16
man i hate raven. no apology will suffice.
The Poles said,
February 14, 2008 at 6:18
It wasn’t us, it was those sneaky Swedes.
EdsAppliance said,
February 14, 2008 at 6:27
I apologize for American Idol, not on behalf of anyone or any group, I am simply so, so sorry. I suppose I speak for my species.
MrSparkle said,
February 14, 2008 at 6:28
As a native Marylander, I guess I should apologize for Spiro Agnew.
The Raven said,
February 14, 2008 at 6:44
I’m sure I need not explain the degree to which this kind of crap pisses me off. Reynolds is a lint ball on the sweater of jejune puerility.
pedestrian said,
February 14, 2008 at 6:45
“Memphis Congressman Steve Cohen and the JEWS HATE Jesus,” blares the flier, which Cohen himself received in the mail — inducing gasps — last week.
That sentence is atrocious. Glenn Reynolds should make a point of apologizing for it.
Doctor Biobrain said,
February 14, 2008 at 6:47
I once got mugged after a Public Enemy concert and had one of the two t-shirts I had just bought stolen right out of my hands by a group of black hooligans before being punched in the face; and Obama hasn’t said WORD ONE about this!! I’m outraged!!!
For the record, I was wearing the other shirt I bought and my mother actually got a letter published in the local newspaper in which she called the attackers “hooligans.” Totally awesome. But all the same, Barack’s silence on this is quite deafening. Makes one wonder how many of our Public Enemy shirts HE’S planning to steal. I’m not saying he’s gonna do it. Just saying that if you ever get a chance to meet Obama, you might want to put all your rap shirts on first. You’ve been warned.
Smut Clyde said,
February 14, 2008 at 6:48
I would like to distance myself from anyone who uses ‘distance’ as a verb. Horrible, horrible. I mean, would you talk about ‘closenessing’?
I need to closeness myself to a stiff drink now.
sherifffruitfly said,
February 14, 2008 at 6:48
(shrug) Wow – white folks making up reasons to be “troubled” by black folks. Never heard of THAT happening before.
pedestrian said,
February 14, 2008 at 6:50
I mean, really, that sentence reminded me of this sentence.
moe99 said,
February 14, 2008 at 6:55
This reminds me of a story from law school. I’d just graduated and my fiancee who was a year behind, and I had broken up (musta been the stress). He wrote for the University paper–a weekly column. One column came out the fall of ‘76 where his premise was that Indira Gandhi was a blot on feminism because she had imposed martial law in India. I wrote a letter to the editor, where I asked rhetorically if this meant that Idi Amin was a blot on all blacks too?* Maybe the ol’ perfesser read that and took it in for later use, since it was only one state over from him.
* I did end with a bit of snark when I asked the ex fiancee if he hated women all the time or just once a month.
pedestrian said,
February 14, 2008 at 6:55
Here’s the deal: a black man can be president as soon as all racial problems everywhere have been completely resolved to the satisfaction of all parties. We don’t want any reverse racism. That would be racist.
Candy said,
February 14, 2008 at 7:02
As an Iowan, I’d like to tender my most sincere apology for Steve King.
He’s not from my district, and I had no part in his election. That, indeed, (heh!) is central to my point.
Kevin Rudd said,
February 14, 2008 at 7:15
Beat You to The Punch, Suckers!
Typical Republican said,
February 14, 2008 at 7:31
Well, clearly, Obama has the advantage because he’s black, and clearly the minorities are in control of everything at this point.
And I say clearly a lot because it’s clear to me and anybody who doesn’t see it is clearly brainwashed by those Islamocommunists at CNN and the New York Times.
(Did I forget anything, Rush?)
France said,
February 14, 2008 at 7:31
I would like to take this moment to apologize for surrendering so much.
SamFromUtah said,
February 14, 2008 at 7:39
I apologize for Orrin Hatch, Mitt Romney, Karl Rove, and a bunch of other things that aren’t my fault.
lobbey said,
February 14, 2008 at 7:43
As a Scotsman, I would like to apologize for Rod Stewart, The Crankies, Taggart and the Old Firm. Otherwise, I think, as a nation, were kind of in the clear.
g said,
February 14, 2008 at 7:58
Oh yeah? How about Donovan?
Lesley said,
February 14, 2008 at 7:59
As a Canadian I apologize for Mark Steyn, David Frum, Brian Adams, Celine Dion, and that cheesy country and western singer with the great body whose name escapes me at the moment.
Ron Paul said,
February 14, 2008 at 8:02
I apologize for mental hospitals.
Bride of Frankenstein said,
February 14, 2008 at 8:03
Sorry about that scream. Pretty unkind.
ortho_bob said,
February 14, 2008 at 8:07
I would like to apologize for using the same joke as everyone else many hours after it ceased to be amusing. I would also like to distance myself from that weird guy on the bus this morning who probably had the same number of legs as Reynolds, indeedio.
Fozzetti said,
February 14, 2008 at 8:19
Should Obama apologize for General Powell? Someone should!
jaysus aytch croyst said,
February 14, 2008 at 8:21
As an Irishman I’d like to apologize for the IRA the UDA and Riverdance.
Fozzetti said,
February 14, 2008 at 8:24
As a former Californian I apologize for Regan. As a current Nevadan I apologize for Reid. I hate them both, but at least Regan was senile.
Badger3k said,
February 14, 2008 at 8:26
I skimmed, but has Obama apologized for Urkel? I think most people should.
Shinola said,
February 14, 2008 at 8:27
I’d like to apologize for shit.
Batocchio said,
February 14, 2008 at 8:31
I think we have a new slogan:
Obama, making the world safe for douchebags like Glenn Reynolds, one denunciation at a time.
jasperjava said,
February 14, 2008 at 8:43
As a Canadian I apologize for Mark Steyn, David Frum, Brian Adams, Celine Dion, and that cheesy country and western singer with the great body whose name escapes me at the moment.
You don’t have to apologize for Shania Twain. All I do is just turn down the volume.
jasperjava said,
February 14, 2008 at 8:46
stryx said,
February 14, 2008 at 5:02
And we have a winner. That shit TICKLED me.
Hoosier X said,
February 14, 2008 at 9:00
You don’t have to apologize for Bryan Adams. He rocks!
As a Hoosier, I come from a state that much to apologize for, but I think we more than make up for it with Kurt Vonnegut.
Thank you, Mr. Vonnegut, for making it not quite so difficult to be a Hoosier.
And Carole Lombard. She was born in Fort Wayne.
And Irene Dunne. She lived in Madison for a long time.
Old farts everywhere said,
February 14, 2008 at 9:05
We apologize for the Ole Perfessor. You think you have it bad, we have to put up with these assholes in the home every day.
Lesley said,
February 14, 2008 at 9:07
Sure you don’t mean Ryan Adams, Hoosier? Brian Adams really does suck as a musician.
Wet Suit said,
February 14, 2008 at 9:11
I’d like an apology from Gary Aldridge for abusing me and my twin and our friends, Rubber Gloves and Face Mask. Hmmph!
Clogs said,
February 14, 2008 at 9:13
I’d like to apologize for Morris Dancers.
ahem said,
February 14, 2008 at 9:31
Dear Instafuckwit:
Steve Cohen endorsed Obama. You voted for Bob Corker, who race-baited Harold Ford, whose buddy is challenging Cohen. Thus, you are a fucking tool.
kthxbai.
Percyprune said,
February 14, 2008 at 9:41
Would you also kindly apologize for all those Irish terrorists your fellow Irish Americans financed? If you are prepared to do that, I shall apologize for Cromwell.
You will NEVER be forgiven for the Krankies. In particular their cover of Bowie’s Starman.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kB_vcSBKo0Y
Major Woody said,
February 14, 2008 at 10:32
As an Italian-American, I’d like to apologize for Alito and Scalia, but I know there are some things that simple apologies just don’t make up for. Oh, and for that dangling participle.
Ali said,
February 14, 2008 at 10:41
As a Scotsman, I would like to apologize for Rod Stewart, The Crankies, Taggart and the Old Firm.
to that I would add the Bay City Rollers and haggis.
Matt said,
February 14, 2008 at 11:11
Ur doin it rong.
Hold him to his own standards. Try this:
I think “Perhaps Glenn Reynolds should make a point of condemning this” could be the next “I have neither the time nor the legal background to figure out who’s right.”
Or, at least, it should be.
Glenn Reynolds said,
February 14, 2008 at 12:25
Since this blog is about me when it’s not about Ann Althouse, I INSIST ON HAVING THE LAST APOLOGY.
er…ah…I’d apologize if I knew how to.
Avedon said,
February 14, 2008 at 12:43
I heard there’s some Armenian woman on television who says really stupid, offensive stuff. I can’t remember her name but I guess I’ll apologize for her anyway.
Glenn can apologize for Fred Phelps.
Qetesh the Qaveat Qat said,
February 14, 2008 at 13:06
Kevin Rudd said,
Beat You to The Punch, Suckers!
Yee-haw! For those who don’t know it (which is almost everyone in the world), on Wodin’s Day past, our glorious Prime Minister, Kevin Rudd, apologised fully, wholesomely, and with great charm and verve, for the atrocities our whitey nation committed upon the original black nation (I is Oztrayyan), including, but not limited to, tearing half-blood kiddies from their homes and families to be raised by whiteys, mostly in ‘missions’ (ie religious prison camps), and mostly to become servants (aka slaves).
It was a great day to be an Aussie, I must say. We’ve been waiting for that for over ten years, since the commission investigating it recommended an apology and acknowledgement would be nice. Bloody John Bloody Howard refused, the pig-scented son of a goat-fondler, and caused much unhappiness.
So now we’ve had an official (and very moving) apology, and we’re moving towards reconciliation. He also promised to do something about the shameful facts of Aboriginal health, imprisonment rates, and education, and while I don’t believe everything a politician says, it will be worth seeing what happens next.
Damn, it was a good day. There was actual dancing in the streets. I cried. I expect Sodding John Ex-Prime-Minister-And-Now-Nobody Howard cried, too, although probably not for the same reason. He was probably snuffling because Kevin was sitting in his chair in Parliament House (we chuck ‘em out fast: the election was in November, and I suspect that seat still had some of Howard’s tears on it when Rudd smoothed his convincingly-won-election backside over the leather.
James Robertson said,
February 14, 2008 at 13:43
I expect the left will stop tossing around charges of racism based on statements by lone wackos then?
No?
Ok, then what is the Democratic party’s position on the issue in question in Memphis? Never mind Obama – what about the party, and the Tennessee party in particular?
El Cid said,
February 14, 2008 at 13:48
You know, maybe if we’d elected Strom Thurmond back when he was running, maybe we wouldn’t a had all these problems we had all these years.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
February 14, 2008 at 14:17
We’ll have to check with Norbiz.
But it’s odd how those lone, racist GOP whackos manage to find such large groups of fellow whackos to hang with.
Choad Bangmaster said,
February 14, 2008 at 14:28
As an Australian and a Scot, I’d like to apologise for Braveheart (the movie that gets ten times worse every time you see it) and Mel Gibson in general.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
February 14, 2008 at 14:29
I apologize for naming Michael Gerson Wanker of the Day earlier.
I should have know that Dave Broder, Bob Novak, and George Will would all hit the op-ed section later and blow poor Gerson away.
Shorter Bob Novak: New Orleans is much nicer now that there aren’t so many poor coloreds living there. All my rich republican friends agree.
Shorter Dave Broder: Bipartisanship is when Republicans and Democrats come together to give Bush whatever he wants, and Donald Graham pays me to wank to it. Wank Wank Wank!
Shorter George Will: mumble mumble I HATE HILLARY mumble Why doesn’t everybody just vote for McCain? mumble zzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Patkin said,
February 14, 2008 at 14:31
Boy, that plank in your eye doesn’t seem to make it difficult to see the mote in my eye, huh James?
El Cid said,
February 14, 2008 at 14:56
By the way, that super-awesome chief of that amazingly successful, super-profitable General Motors that just keeps hiring so many people declared that global warming is a “total crock of sh*t”, but at least is interested in making more electric etc. vehicles to wean us from “foreign” oil, you know, because GM is totally committed to being all-American and making everything here in Uh-merika.
Douglas Watts said,
February 14, 2008 at 15:05
As a Swedish -American I would like to apologize for lutefisk and sill.
Drunk, powermad anti-semites said,
February 14, 2008 at 15:06
We apologize for Mel Gibson too …
James Robertson said,
February 14, 2008 at 15:11
Sigh. I stopped donating money to the Republican party after the Strom Thurmond thing, and told the RNC I wouldn’t be donating again until Trent Lott was not only out of the leadership, but gone from the Senate. I doubt any of you have done anything remotely similar, but then again, casual racism and blatant anti-semitism seem to be fully acceptable to Democrats.
Just so long as we’re all clear on that.
anangryoldbroad said,
February 14, 2008 at 15:24
Yes James,Republicans always have the higher moral ground,even as they steal,lie,cheat and proposition the guy in the next men’s room stall.
Clean up your own backyard,then come back and give us crap about ours.
Patkin said,
February 14, 2008 at 15:27
If it makes you feel less superior, James, I never donated money to the Democratic Party, and never intend to donate to the Democratic Party. Not because of any fantasy about them being casual racists or anti-Semites like your party actually contains, but rather, because I’m remarkably lazy. Like your arguing.
Just as long as we’re clear on that.
Patkin said,
February 14, 2008 at 15:28
And as a Jew, I would like to apologize for Ariel Sharon. Our bad.
Susan of Texas said,
February 14, 2008 at 15:45
Tell you what James, after you get down on your knees and apologize for ever supporting the party of racist, government-destroying, war-mongering mass killers known as Republicans, then we’ll listen to you.
For myself, I apologize for buying a Madonna album in the ’80s, thereby encouraging her to continue to perform.
leftard du jour said,
February 14, 2008 at 15:50
As a person of French descent, I would like to apologize for the reign of terror and fried potatoes wedges.
Condemn-a-thon II at politburo diktat 2.0 said,
February 14, 2008 at 16:05
[...] h/t: Sadly No! [...]
ajay said,
February 14, 2008 at 16:10
Will NASCAR be interrupted by mandatory calls to prayer?
Southern Baptist Muslims attract criticism by persistently referring to “Y’Allah”.
El Cid said,
February 14, 2008 at 16:10
I think the Democratic Party openly surrendering the South (by saying good-bye to its white Supremist wing, which then split straight for the Republican Party, over a few years’ time) for two generations in order to pass Civil Rights and Voting Rights legislation under LBJ is all the apology the Democratic Party ought ever have to do.
On the other hand, Bush Jr. and the redneck Southern / Western Republican ascendancy to absolute power over all branches of government appears to have both undermined the entire 30 year Reagan counter-revolution and has begun to finally kill the Republican Party’s domination by its worst right wing Southern-led freaks, so I guess we owe the Bush Jr. Republicans a certain debt for doing what the Democrats could not do over the last 30 years of decay.
sxwarren said,
February 14, 2008 at 16:15
As a Mainer, I feel compelled to apologize most sincerely for our entire state always lurking behind the head of the Weather Channel forecaster doing the Northeast report. It’s sort of a THAT GUY thing, I suppose.
Oh, and for Snoozin’ Collins.
D.N. Nation said,
February 14, 2008 at 16:17
Dee Loralei-
I was referring to Reynolds. Heh.
Legalize said,
February 14, 2008 at 16:22
“As a Scandinavian-American, I would like to apologize for the Viking attacks on the monastery of Lindisfarne, England, beginning on June 8, 793, as well as our lack of respect for the relics of Saint Cuthbert.”
I finally feel like I can pick up the pieces and get on with my life now. Thank you. *sniff*
atheist said,
February 14, 2008 at 16:23
I doubt any of you have done anything remotely similar,
You’re right, we haven’t. Why? Because the Democratic party doesn’t have such huge racists as the Republican party, moron!
Tom - Daai Tou Laam said,
February 14, 2008 at 16:28
I’m surprised no one has mentioned that Obama needs to apologize for O.J. and Johnny Cochran.
dBa said,
February 14, 2008 at 16:41
Does Reynolds even know he’s a racist? I’d apologize for him, but I’m a different kind of white.
pedestrian said,
February 14, 2008 at 16:42
Sigh. I stopped donating money to the Republican party after the Strom Thurmond thing, and told the RNC I wouldn’t be donating again until Trent Lott was not only out of the leadership, but gone from the Senate.
Well that’s big of you. No more money until Trent Lott leaves the Senate. Boy, howdie, that puts us in our place. Did you happen to notice that Strom Thurmond was still a Republican Senator?
Patkin said,
February 14, 2008 at 16:43
I would ask Obama to apologize for all the Movie films after Scary Movie 2, but I’m pretty sure that was all done by white guys.
Drunken Coke Fiends said,
February 14, 2008 at 16:46
You totally can’t expect us to apologize for George Bush. That bastard still owes us money.
El Cid said,
February 14, 2008 at 16:47
Does Strom Thurmond still get to count as a Republican Senator even now? Isn’t there, like, some mortality limit? I mean, not including Zombie Reagan, whom we all worship profoundly.
God said,
February 14, 2008 at 16:47
I apologize for Hell. I was having a really bad day, and Adam kept bugging me while I was watching my soaps.
God said,
February 14, 2008 at 16:57
Really, I’m a horrible mother. I shouldn’t have even had the little bastard, but I was off the pill and – you know, for a one-eyed snake, Lucifer can be charming.
Patkin said,
February 14, 2008 at 17:07
El Cid: The impression I get from South Carolina Republicans is that they would continue voting for him until the heat-death of the universe.
El Cid said,
February 14, 2008 at 17:09
As far as I can recall, only Republicans get defeated by dead candidates — pace Mel Carnahan.
Patkin said,
February 14, 2008 at 17:10
Well, Thurmond was already blurring the line between live or dead for a few decades before he actually was declared dead.
tb said,
February 14, 2008 at 17:14
I mean the concert sucked but the tickets were amazing. Really incredible tickets.
alli said,
February 14, 2008 at 17:17
As a Louisianan, I’d like to apologize for… well, shit, that would take a long time, so let’s say we give you shrimp and cheap oil and jazz, and you forgive us for Vitty-cent et al.
As a Dutch girl, I’ll apologize to Indonesia and Suriname, but I want an apology from Spain and those f*cking Germans.
Flying Fox said,
February 14, 2008 at 17:23
As a fox, I’d like to apologize for Daji, who destroyed the Shang Dynasty, Tamamo-no-Mae, who caused considerable mischief in the Heian Court, and scores of dead chickens.
I absolutely refuse to apologize for the first vignette of Kurosawa’s Dreams. That movie is the shit!
Eve said,
February 14, 2008 at 17:29
I’m not apologizing for anything. Nobody said he had to eat the damned fruit.
J— said,
February 14, 2008 at 17:31
George Brooks is an evangelical preacher. Mike Huckabee is an evangelical preacher. Where is the insta-outrage over Huckabee’s failure so far to condemn Brooks?
By the way, Ye Ole Perfesser now has an update that insists if Obama doesn’t come out on this, he’s a fraud.
Glenn Reynolds said,
February 14, 2008 at 17:34
Heh. Indoozle!
kc said,
February 14, 2008 at 17:35
As an Irishman I’d like to apologize for the IRA the UDA and Riverdance.
Not necessarily in that order.
kc said,
February 14, 2008 at 17:40
Obama needs to condemn that crazy lady who “threatened” Cockslappio’s infant kid
I think that was a white woman, which means it’s Hillary’s job to denounce her.
D.N. Nation said,
February 14, 2008 at 17:40
Oh brother. Instadummy’s update is just absurd:
Here it is, folks! Here’s your litmus test. Obama has to apologize, or speak out against, or whatever to some guy he doesn’t know and has never heard of, or he’ll be just like Al Sharpton, and thus his message concerning everything from the war in Iraq, to energy independence, to human rights, to health care, to torture, to the economy…will be a FRAUD! Because Glenn Reynolds sayeth so!
There was a time, back in the salad days of 2004, when the Web Wingnuts could get away with this, when they were somehow deemed to be THE objective arbiters of political thought, when partisan hacks like Reynolds could prance around annointing or condemning, with the underlying thought that the Word was So. It’s only been four years since then, but my how things have changed…Reynolds and Chuckles the Clown Johnson and Special Ed and the Surbhuman are all flailing about, and no one’s buying. Remember when Chuckles demanded that Democrats apologize for that FOX X-TREME NEWZ clip of random Palestinian kids cheering for the Election ‘06 results? Remember when everyone pointed and laughed?
So go ahead, Glenn, spout and spew and cry and hack. It won’t bother Obama one bit.
Mary Ruppert said,
February 14, 2008 at 17:44
Glenn Reynolds is more non-partisan than Ann Althouse.
D.N. Nation said,
February 14, 2008 at 17:45
More from Reynolds:
Wow! Stunning! One moronic titan of Wingnut Welfare praises another! Stop the presses!
Sowell’s column is, natch, the usual slate of cranky, sub-English ramblings we’ve come to expect from Tom.
r4d20 said,
February 14, 2008 at 17:46
The other day a black man stepped on my toe. Obama has YET to condemn him.
Captain Annoying said,
February 14, 2008 at 17:49
As a privileged white guy, I apologize for James Robertson.
Olexicon said,
February 14, 2008 at 17:56
Shouldn”t Obama denouce ” Corey in the House?”
SamFromUtah said,
February 14, 2008 at 18:00
Does Reynolds even know he’s a racist?
No. Neither do all the other glibertarian crackers who are about to spend a lot of time making fools of themselves. I hope this exposes them to the public as the pack of throwback morons they are.
El Cid said,
February 14, 2008 at 18:03
Gosh, I hope the Democratic candidate takes it has his or her highest priority to do whatever is necessary to convince crazy right wing Republican ideologues that he or she is a legitimate candidate meeting their approval!
‘Cause then we’ll have us just where they want us!!! What?
El Cid said,
February 14, 2008 at 18:03
S/B “as” not “has” his or her highest priority.
MileHi Hawkeye said,
February 14, 2008 at 18:04
As a Coloradite, I would like to sincerely apologize for James Dobson (even though he is a Californian), Douglas Bruce (ditto) and Karl Rove.
As a native Iowan, I apologize for Herbert Hoover. Who knew he would start the Great Depression!?! Not us, that’s for sure.
Everyone knows that there are no black people residing in either Iowa or Colorado, so I have yet to be offended by them. But, I think a pre-emptive apology from BO is in order–just to be on the safe side.
pedestrian said,
February 14, 2008 at 18:06
Obama’s big appeal — I’m a black candidate who’s not like Al Sharpton! — will be a fraud.
Yeah, I have that poster. I don’t know why “I’m a black candidate who’s not like Al Sharpton” never really took off. I guess “Yes, we can!” is just catchier. Glenn needs to make a point of denouncing himself or his big a-ah-agh-wuaaghh-a-appeal – I’m a honky pundit who hasn’t said anything racist today- will be a fraud.
jenniebee said,
February 14, 2008 at 18:23
And when will Obama apologize for Alan Keyes, huh? When? WHENNNNNNNNN?
Long Islander said,
February 14, 2008 at 18:28
I would like to apologize for Alphonse D’Amato. He should never have been permitted to cross the Nassau County line.
James Robertson said,
February 14, 2008 at 18:35
Apparently, expecting the Tennessee Democratic party to do something about such blatant anti-semitism is just expecting too much. Republicans did punish Trent Lott, and they forced David Duke out of the party. Expecting something similar from Democrats is a bridge too far, it looks like.
BHO said,
February 14, 2008 at 18:37
Vote for me ‘cuz I’m not Al Sharpton!
Eve said,
February 14, 2008 at 18:41
Apologize, James. You know you want to.
You know that some day in the future your grandchildren will look up to you with big, pleading anime eyes and say, “Why, Grampy? Why did you vote Republican? Johnny’s mother won’t let me play with him. The shame, Grampy. The shame.” But it’ll be too late to apologize.
Susan of Texas said,
February 14, 2008 at 18:44
Sorry, that was me. (Itchy comments trigger finger.)
gbear said,
February 14, 2008 at 18:48
As a gay man, I’d like to say I’m sorry about Larry Craig and Mark Foley. Not that I’m going to apologize for them…
I will apologize for Andrew Sullivan though.
craig said,
February 14, 2008 at 18:48
Well, as a caucasian I guess I am forced for condemn Glenn Reynolds for his idiocy.
Johnny Coelacanth said,
February 14, 2008 at 18:50
“Apparently, expecting the Tennessee Democratic party to do something about such blatant anti-semitism is just expecting too much.”
I know you’re too busy jacking off all over the comments section to really pay attention, but actually we’re not talking about expectations for the Tennessee Democratic party. We’re talking about whether or not Obama needs to apologize for some nameless democratic party functionary in Tennessee. Does he or doesn’t he?
Rightwing Sockpuppet said,
February 14, 2008 at 19:00
I wish to apologize for Gary Ruppert, who wishes to apologize for Saul, who wishes to apologize for Christian St. James, who wishes to apologize for me.
Patkin said,
February 14, 2008 at 19:01
As a native-born son of Long Beach, Long Island, I too would like to apologize for Alphonse D’Amato. I know I wasn’t born yet at the time, but we were still really embarrassed.
D.N. Nation said,
February 14, 2008 at 19:02
Trent Lott and David Duke were elected Republican officials.
Random Preacher McNobody is, decidedly, not.
But nice try.
sagra said,
February 14, 2008 at 19:02
Once in school assembly they said if we smoked pot, one day our grandkids would dig up our dead bodies and beat us with a shovel. Not that I’m suggesting we do that to people who vote Republican… but the thought has crossed my mind.
Hoosier X said,
February 14, 2008 at 19:03
You know, I’d realy like to see JUST ONE EXAMPLE of the liberals condemning the entire Republican Party because of one racist statement by a lone whacko.
The only way this works is if James considers, say, Trent Lott to be a lone whacko.
And, considering the ease with which conservatives transform the meaning of words when it suits them (see Goldberg, Jonah), I would guess this is probably the case.
Susan of Texas said,
February 14, 2008 at 19:07
A fiery e-mail with the speed of light, a cloud of pixie dust, and a hearty ‘Hi-yo Sailor!’ The Lone Wacko! With his sidekick Wack-off, the Republican travels around the internet, ruining the reputation of the sainted GOP!
MileHi Hawkeye said,
February 14, 2008 at 19:08
“Once in school assembly they said if we smoked pot, one day our grandkids would dig up our dead bodies and beat us with a shovel.”
Any particular reason for that–or just kids beings kids? Are they going to be trying to get our stash? ‘Cause I plan on smoking all of mine before they put me in the ground…
Righteous Bubba said,
February 14, 2008 at 19:08
Republicans did punish Trent Lott, and they forced David Duke out of the party.
The first was hardly their idea, and the latter, as far as I know, never happened, although the Louisiana GOP didn’t like him much. I’m happy to be corrected, but as far as I know David Duke remains a Republican and he ran six contests as one..
Harold Ford said,
February 14, 2008 at 19:14
What am I? Chopped chicken liver?
gbear said,
February 14, 2008 at 19:14
Patkin, can you slip Billy Joel in there too? Someone needs to apologize for him. Isn’t he a Long Island guy?
tigrismus said,
February 14, 2008 at 19:19
We’re talking about whether or not Obama needs to apologize for some nameless democratic party functionary in Tennessee
He’s neither nameless nor a Democratic party functionary, he’s George Brooks, a black “Christian” minister, who specifically cited Cohen’s and the Jews’ conjectural hatred for Jesus as reason to oppose Cohen. Sounds more like religion was the inspiration than race, so Obama should apologize just because the preacher also happens to be black? Let’s not forget Reynolds is actually FROM Tennessee, and if he’s also a Christian…
Grand Moff Texan said,
February 14, 2008 at 19:23
Well, people are always expecting me to apologize for Texas, which is why you’ll always see me trailing a wake of people who are fucking themselves.
.
White Person said,
February 14, 2008 at 19:26
I apologize for reading “Black Like Me.”
J— said,
February 14, 2008 at 19:27
Colbert did a Better Know a District installment with Cohen. “Congressman, are you a black woman?”
Louis F. said,
February 14, 2008 at 19:27
What’s all the fuss about?
The Schuesselizer said,
February 14, 2008 at 19:32
I’d like to apologize for my utter lack of ability to make Teh Funny.
And for my sneery-ass lip.
Mary Ruppert said,
February 14, 2008 at 19:40
Classic Reynolds.
Has Glenn endorsed McCain yet?
sagra said,
February 14, 2008 at 19:45
“Any particular reason for that–or just kids beings kids? Are they going to be trying to get our stash? ‘Cause I plan on smoking all of mine before they put me in the ground…”
Because of the horrible birth defects, if I remember correctly.
gbear said,
February 14, 2008 at 19:45
As a gay man, I wouldn’t mind if Obama might still consider apologizing for this:
http://www.crooksandliars.com/2007/10/29/obama-and-the-gay-bashing-former-gay-donnie-mcclurkin/
g said,
February 14, 2008 at 19:46
I’m sorry, I can’t think of who I should apologize for.
A bass guitar said,
February 14, 2008 at 19:49
I apologize for bass solos.
Douglas Watts said,
February 14, 2008 at 19:53
Republicans did punish Trent Lott.
Bullshit. They always knew he was a racist and thought that was just fine. They only jettisoned him when he got caught so red handed that they needed to save themselves.
J— said,
February 14, 2008 at 19:54
Sorry, Dr. Mr. Ole Professor, but the junior senator from Illinois already handled this preemptively. Catch up.
That’s Barack Obama, speaking at Ebenezer Baptist Church, Atlanta, GA, on January 20, 2008.
D.N. Nation said,
February 14, 2008 at 19:56
Look, Instadoofus, it’s not that you are incorrect with this point. The problems with your position are as follows:
1) You’re just using this as a lame, flailing “why isn’t he outraged? why isn’t he outraged?” bit *primarily* as an attack on Obama, who
2) Is running for President of the United States of America, while this is some local nonsense. Which is to say that it isn’t very very bad, but that Obama’s time has been spent elsewhere recently.
gbear said,
February 14, 2008 at 19:57
Thanks J-
Looks like he covered the gay thing there too.
Percyprune said,
February 14, 2008 at 19:57
So when are the Christians going to apologize for this? I demand Pat Robertson get on his knees and give us an apology.
D.N. Nation said,
February 14, 2008 at 19:57
Oh, of course, and
3) Obama’s already spoken out against anti-Seminitism before.
pedestrian said,
February 14, 2008 at 20:08
This is all just identity politics. For all of their fluttering about how Obama’s campaign amounts to “vote for me because I’m a black man”, their campaign from now until November will be:
Obama is black!!! Is he an anti-semite?
Obama is black!!! Will Latinos vote for him?
Obama is black!!! Is he soft on crime?
Obama is black!!! Is he a drug addict?
Of course nobody will say he can’t be president because he is black. But it is his responsibility to prove that our prejudices are unfounded. Voters don’t have to believe all the crap that is slung at him, they just have to see him as the “risky” candidate.
Fozzetti said,
February 14, 2008 at 20:09
I hope Obama *does* apologize to the Iraqi’s when he is elected, on behalf of the country. Not that it would undo the evil, but it would be a start. And, think of Doughboy’’s and other wingnut’s heads!
handy said,
February 14, 2008 at 20:11
Yep.
WoodyD said,
February 14, 2008 at 20:13
As a Norwegian-American I was going to apologize for lutefisk, but the Swedish-American beat me to it. And I think the lovely fjords make up for it anyway.
So if this is the standard, I guess Ann Coulter, Laura Ingraham and Michelle Malkin better form a circle for some marathon apology-wanking for each other. Cheerleader uniforms optional.
Susan of Texas said,
February 14, 2008 at 20:14
This is all just identity politics.
Yes, exactly. And they should be told this every time they mention Obama. Republicans keep bragging they are color-blind, let’s see them prove it.
Hoosier X said,
February 14, 2008 at 20:20
Isn’t it amazing how “politically correct” conservatives can be when it suits them?
WoodyD said,
February 14, 2008 at 20:31
[quote]Republicans keep bragging they are color-blind, let’s see them prove it.[/quote]
Noted Republican standard-bearer Stephen Colbert is color-blind. “They tell me I’m white, and I believe them because policemen call me ’sir’.”
professor fate said,
February 14, 2008 at 20:35
Being from Long Island I’d like to aplogize for the big duck on the highway, The Miracle Mile, East Egg, and The Blue Oyster Cult’s Laser show in the 70’s.
SwiftsGhost said,
February 14, 2008 at 20:35
Percyprune said,
February 14, 2008 at 9:41
“As an Irish American I’d like to apologize for all drunken shenanigans committed by fellow IA’s.
Would you also kindly apologize for all those Irish terrorists your fellow Irish Americans financed? If you are prepared to do that, I shall apologize for Cromwell.”
Which “terrorists” are requesting the apology for? Those who booted you out of the South (Republic) or the ones who tried, more recently, to boot you out of the North?
The 10th Doctor said,
February 14, 2008 at 20:43
I’m sorry.
I’m so sorry.
I’m so, so sorry.
Long Islander said,
February 14, 2008 at 20:46
I’d like everyone to know that Eddie Murphy is really from Merrick even though he wants us to think he is from Roosevelt.
Lawnguylander said,
February 14, 2008 at 20:50
I apologize for being done with apologizing for Billy Joel but I do condemnify him. I also don’t apologize for The Shrieking Harpy anymore who less than two weeks ago was saying she would never vote for McCain but that was before she found out Obama is not just a Muslim but the Anti-Christ as well.
celticgirl said,
February 14, 2008 at 20:51
Well, as an ItalianWelshGermanAustrianCherokee-American living in Scotland…I hardly know where to begin.
MzNicky said,
February 14, 2008 at 20:53
As a Tennessean, I apologize for not only the Ole Perfesser, but also for Bill Frist, Lamar Alexander, Harold Ford, and Bob Corker. And let’s don’t even think about the state legislature.
On the other hand: Al Gore.
Robert M. said,
February 14, 2008 at 21:01
I’d like to correct the misconception that the Republican party did anything at all to disavow Trent Lott. He lost his position as majority leader, but the bastard was still a sitting senator until he quit in order to get under the wire for the new lobbying legislation.
Also, to the person upthread who said that many South Carolina Republicans would happily continue to vote for Strom Thurmond, I believe that’s an unfair characterization. A number of SC Democrats, alone in a voting booth, would also happily pull the lever for him.
Long Islander said,
February 14, 2008 at 21:03
As a constituent, I apologize on behalf of Senator Clinton (D-NY). She should never have attended the dedication of the Alphonse D’Amato Federal Courthouse (which cost a gazillion dollars) and said all of the nice things she said about Senator Al.
Percyprune said,
February 14, 2008 at 21:10
I don’t know who this ‘you’ is you are referring to, since the majority of Irish in the six counties prefer union (a demographic reality that many self-identified “Irish-Americans” find hard to swallow). But as for the terrorists, is there a difference? Seems to me the Provisionals were pretty much cut from the same cloth as Michael Collins’s “Twelve Apostles”. Though of course it was not the British but the Irish that did for the murderer Collins. It was the Free Irish that by 1923 managed to boot the terrorists out of the Republic.
Grand Moff Texan said,
February 14, 2008 at 21:11
Right, because instaputz can see through time and space, and he’s visited at least two alternate dimensions where all Jews are black and/or Republicans were waving Che Guevara flags.
He’s very tired, now.
.
pedestrian said,
February 14, 2008 at 21:13
I’d like to apologize for my utter lack of ability to make Teh Funny.
Damn, she’s dumb. Was that an attempt to be funny? I didn’t even detect any botched jokes. Oh wait. Black hearts that call Barack a Muslim. Cuz
he’sit’s goth. Har har.Shorter Debbie: This movie is blatant librulfascist propoganda for – or against – Hillary Clinton. I won’t know which until I check my email.
Brenda Lee said,
February 14, 2008 at 21:13
I’m Sorry. So Sorry.
El Cid said,
February 14, 2008 at 21:15
Hey, without British rulers practicing total war against Irish civilians, they may not have had the practice to carry out full scale imperialism in the New World, Africa, and Asia.
Lawnguylander said,
February 14, 2008 at 21:15
Professor fate, why are you apologizing for the big duck? The duck is cool. As for East Egg, I’m waiting for an apology from the last ice age for depositing Manhasset, that wingnut haven, on the same peninsula with all us DFHs in Po
rt W. Not cool.pedestrian said,
February 14, 2008 at 21:17
Irish: the old Black.
Husker Du said,
February 14, 2008 at 21:17
EEEEYYYYY AAAAAAAAA PPPAAAAAA LLLLOOOOOO JJYYYYYYZZ.
HemlockEcho said,
February 14, 2008 at 21:22
I’d like the record to show that the comments on this entry are freakin hilarious. Good stuff.
Smut Clyde said,
February 14, 2008 at 21:25
if we smoked pot, one day our grandkids would dig up our dead bodies and beat us with a shovel
Snorting the crushed-up bones of your dope-impregnated grandparents? All the cool kids are doing it. It’s called “cuthberting”, apparently.
without British rulers practicing total war against Irish civilians, they may not have had the practice to carry out full scale imperialism
Irish peasants are a kind of starter drug. You tell yourself that it’s a recreational thing, and you’re only going to persecute them on weekends, and you can stop any time, and the next thing you know you have garrisons in India.
Grand Moff Texan said,
February 14, 2008 at 21:26
Is it time for me to use that word again?
.
pedestrian said,
February 14, 2008 at 21:27
Completely off topic, but has anyone ever seen Debbie Schlussel and Varla Jean Merman (scroll down to first pic) in the same room? I wonder which role brings in more money from Republicans.
Long Islander said,
February 14, 2008 at 21:36
I would also like to apologize to everyone in Huntington on behalf of Town Supervisor Frank P. Petrone. He should never have permitted the right wing Jews and Christians to ruin the holiday display in the village square with their ugly clutter.
gbear said,
February 14, 2008 at 21:37
All the cool kids are doing it. It’s called “cuthberting”, apparently.
But given that you are limited to four grandparents. It can never be anything more than a passing fad. And if your family is anything like mine, you’ve already got 347 cousins who’d already done it before you’d even heard of it.
random idiot said,
February 14, 2008 at 21:39
The garrisons in India wernt about the colonisation addiction, no that was worse. The TEA addiction.
The irish? They were just convenient. A nice break from fighting the damned french yet again. If they grew tea in Ireland, we wouldn’t have done such a half arsed job, believe you me.
Jay B. said,
February 14, 2008 at 21:41
I don’t know who this ‘you’ is you are referring to, since the majority of Irish in the six counties prefer union (a demographic reality that many self-identified “Irish-Americans” find hard to swallow).
That’s one way of looking at it. Another is that’s precisely the problem. Having sucked Tory tit for hundreds of years, the “majority” in Ulster have taken every opportunity to disenfranchise, steal from and kill the ‘minority’ in a wholly artificial country that’s the final relic of a bitter, hateful legacy much of the majority of the island’s population believes to be a historic injustice. You can pretend otherwise, of course, but the six counties owe their existence as a country to British colonialism, when as you say yourself, they are Irish.
Jay B. said,
February 14, 2008 at 21:42
Patkin said,
February 14, 2008 at 21:51
I could apologize for Billy Joel, but honestly I’m not all that familiar with his work for some reason. I will apologize for Eddie Murphy though, since my dad’s also from Merrick.
I would apologize for Pam Oshry, but man, where could I begin to make up for her? That’s just asking too much.
random idiot said,
February 14, 2008 at 21:52
God, not “irish-americans” going on about northern ireland again. Every other yank thinks that because his grandpappy had ginger hair he is a real Irishman.
Hardly any of them have been there, or have any cultural affiliation with the place.. They just like the idea of having some heritage. And so they act like a cock on st. paddys day, and maybe give some money to a set of lunatics that like blowing people up with car bombs.
All I can tell those little tits is: go to ireland. Talk to some real irish people, north and south. They DONT CARE. All they want is for the violent idiots to fuck off and stop stirring shit up.
Northern ireland has a population about the same size as Eire. “Giving it back” hasn’t been an option for hundreds of years. Regardless of the involvement of religion, they are two separate cultures.
Besides. Most of Irelands current population are genetically scots anyway! The genetic irish are mostly in Wales. That means I have more of a claim to being Irish than the vast majority of “Irish-Americans”
Lawnguylander said,
February 14, 2008 at 22:02
random idiot said,
February 14, 2008 at 21:39 (kill)
You’re pseudonym is as ironic as rain on your wedding day or a free ride when you’ve already paid. Innit? Are you and Percyprune the same person?
Interrobang said,
February 14, 2008 at 22:06
As a person of Scottish descent, I must apologise for golf, including to people who are so mentally ill as to think golf is anything other than a massive practical joke perpetrated on the entire world by the Scottish.
As a good liberal who is therefore more tormented by guilt than a neurotic half-Jewish, half-Catholic Long Islander, I also apologise for all the environmental destruction created by the existence and maintenance of golf courses everywhere.
As a Canadian, I’d like to apologise for residential schools, John Diefenbaker, William Lyon McKenzie King’s awful antisemitism, all the nasty fallout from Canadian Cold War hysteria (for which I’d like an apology from Americans, please), Barrick Gold, Celine Dion, Brian Mulroney, all the carpetbagging Canadian Republicans (Dianne Haskett, I’m lookin’ at you!), and that smirking corpse Stephen Harper. Thomas D’Arcy McGee can apologise for his own damn self, though.
Lawnguylander said,
February 14, 2008 at 22:11
Besides. Most of Irelands current population are genetically scots anyway! The genetic irish are mostly in Wales. That means I have more of a claim to being Irish than the vast majority of “Irish-Americans”
What in the buggery fuck does this mean? What makes one person more genetically Irish than another?
El Cid said,
February 14, 2008 at 22:13
The guanine is replaced by Gaeline.
pedestrian said,
February 14, 2008 at 22:18
The guanine is replaced by Gaeline.
Yes, but what about thesbians?
random idiot said,
February 14, 2008 at 22:18
“direct genetic link to the earliest known inhabitants of Ireland”? perhaps? Come on, you can’t be this dumb.
My point is. Genetics don’t come into this. Just national identity. It doesn’t matter a damn if the population of northern Ireland are “Irish” or not, they identify themselves as British.
Would you yanks like it if it was decided it was only fair to give california and texas back to the Mexicans?
Flying Fox said,
February 14, 2008 at 22:19
Aren’t most Scots descended from settlers who originated in Ireland?
Mary Ruppert said,
February 14, 2008 at 22:21
What if Pammy is the J.T. Leroy of the shriekosphere?
El Cid said,
February 14, 2008 at 22:21
Fine, but they have to take Mississippi and Alabama too, and Georgia up to the Atlanta metro area.
Smut Clyde said,
February 14, 2008 at 22:22
The guanine is replaced by Guanness
random idiot said,
February 14, 2008 at 22:24
.. And once you have given the mexicans their land back, you can give the native american tribes THEIR land back.
You know, if we follow this line of reasoning, Africa is going to get awfully crowded.
Susan of Texas said,
February 14, 2008 at 22:26
Would you yanks like it if it was decided it was only fair to give california and texas back to the Mexicans?
Some may not like it but I think it’d be funnier than hell, especially if it made all us Anglos illegal aliens.
Smut Clyde said,
February 14, 2008 at 22:36
I demand an apology from Me for the Prussian annexation of Schleswig and Holsten in 1864.
Crooked Timber » » Will-You-Condemn-athon said,
February 14, 2008 at 22:41
[...] Sadly No! links to this Glenn Reynolds post arguing that Barack Obama should condemn some anti-Semitic black pastor in Murfreesboro, Tennessee who claims to support Obama, because otherwise [...]
pedestrian said,
February 14, 2008 at 22:44
Some may not like it but I think it’d be funnier than hell, especially if it made all us Anglos illegal aliens.
Really the only redeeming part of that movie, The Day After Tommorrow was the bit where US citizens started fleeing south and the Mexicans wouldn’t let them in. I already know a lot of people in San Diego who go to Mexico for medical care.
RobW said,
February 14, 2008 at 22:46
On behalf of my German ancestors, I’d like to apologize for the bombing of London.
On behalf of my British ancestors, I’d like to apologize for the bombing of Dresden.
On behalf of my Irish ancestors, I’d like to get drunk and tell everyone else to go fuck themselves.
Lawnguylander said,
February 14, 2008 at 22:51
“direct genetic link to the earliest known inhabitants of Ireland”? perhaps? Come on, you can’t be this dumb.
Well I’m not dumb enough to go around saying that there’s any such thing as a genetic marker for being Irish. And guess what? The earliest known inhabitants of Ireland and Britain were the same people so that won’t work.
My point is. Genetics don’t come into this. Just national identity.
Indeed it is central to your point.
As for the future of Northern Ireland, I don’t really care one way or the other as long as people aren’t killing each other but you might want to check the demographic trends. Troubles ahead of the kind that convinced Sharon to change his tune on the occupied territories. And to build that wall.
SamFromUtah said,
February 14, 2008 at 23:01
So did Miz Malkin and that other gal apologize for Chad Castagana yet?
random idiot said,
February 14, 2008 at 23:05
Any community which has been sufficiently isolated for long enough develops distinct genetic quirks. The Irish are no exception. Gene pools were pretty damned shallow 1000 or so years ago.
Northern Ireland is considered a closed issue by most in the British Isles. The tiny tiny minority that still consider it a fight, are frankly, looked upon as nutters. People are tired of the fighting, and have been for ages.
Now here is the trouble: The situation would have been settled down decades earlier if it wasn’t for the IRA being financed by loads of idiot Americans, who had no understanding of the issues involved, no real connection to the cultures involved, but thought that being ginger made them Irish.
That’s how it always goes. A majority want peace, a small minority want never ending war, and some fuckwits halfway round the world go unconditionally supporting a set of shitheads that don’t even speak for the population they claim to represent.
actor212 said,
February 14, 2008 at 23:07
Has Obama apologized for That’s So Raven yet?
I’m still waiting for Jesse’s apology for “Good Times”…
Righteous Bubba said,
February 14, 2008 at 23:24
I’m still waiting for Jesse’s apology for “Good Times”…
Get real. I’m still in love with Thelma.
MzNicky said,
February 14, 2008 at 23:27
Damn. I completely forgot to apologize for Fred Thompson. Sorry. So, so, sorry.
On the other hand: Elvis, Dolly Parton, Stax Records, James Agee, and the elephant sanctuary.
Rank Anti-Semitism? said,
February 14, 2008 at 23:31
Is there any other kind?
MzNicky said,
February 14, 2008 at 23:38
random idiot: You’re seriously starting to get on my peasant-Irish-American nerves. Yeah, that’s right. Potato famine, Atlantic crossing, the whole bit. Got a second cousin near Belfast who lives in a 600-year castle and everything. Now cork up yer pie-hole and can it with all the Murkin-bashing. By the way, I’ve yet to hear you apologize for Christopher Hitchens, for starters. I mean, jeezus.
Lawnguylander said,
February 14, 2008 at 23:46
Any community which has been sufficiently isolated for long enough develops distinct genetic quirks. The Irish are no exception. Gene pools were pretty damned shallow 1000 or so years ago.
That’s shallow enough to be meaningless. Especially when you started out with:
Besides. Most of Irelands current population are genetically scots anyway! The genetic irish are mostly in Wales.
You haven’t come close to explaining what that means.
As for Irish-Americans who have supported the IRA over the years, take it up with them.
random idiot said,
February 15, 2008 at 0:05
How simply do I have to spell it out? Today’s welsh are Irish immigrants. Today’s Irish are mostly immigrants from Scotland. Yes, it is more complicated than that. Yes, it does make claims of specific ancestry largely pointless.
The thing that got me pissed off was Jay B mouthing off, calling Northern Ireland an “artificial country”. Newsflash idiot. All nations are artificial. They are social constructs. Nothing more.
Berating the northern Irish for not wanting to join their southern relatives is fucking stupid. This is however, typical of “Irish-Americans”. Even the Irish people I know don’t like them butting their nose into issues everyone is doing their best to forget about.
Yes, I do get angry about it. People encouraging war make me angry. I think this is a reasonable reaction.
Hysterical Woman said,
February 15, 2008 at 0:09
But if your grandchildren have too many birth defects, they won’t be able to dig up your body and you win, so smoke up!
Lawnguylander said,
February 15, 2008 at 0:15
How simply do I have to spell it out? Today’s welsh are Irish immigrants. Today’s Irish are mostly immigrants from Scotland.
When I want simplicity I speak to a wingnut. I was asking for something more convincing than unsupported assertions.
random idiot said,
February 15, 2008 at 0:29
Why would I bother convincing you? You seem already very convinced.. Of whatever it is you are arguing about.
If you want to look up some stuff on early british immigration, feel free. You will find enough clear evidence of large and small scale immigration between ireland, scotland, and wales to support my assertion that in this case, national identity is purely a social construct. Even without any evidence, this assertion holds up well, since many people argue that ANY national identity is just an extension of personal identity, having little to do with place of birth, or ancestry, and more to do with where a person lives, and where they identify with.
If national identity is a social construct, then all that matters is the national identity of the people currently living in Northern Ireland. The people in Eire don’t get a say in the matter. The people living outside the Island who claim Irish ancestry of some kind, have even less of a say in the matter.
But hey, feel free to miss the point.
Qetesh the Qaveat Qat said,
February 15, 2008 at 1:25
Somebody already made my joke about the birth defects getting in the way of some righteous digging up of the oldster’s bones, so for now I’ll just apologise as follows:
1) For my whitey ancestors’ part in the Stolen Generations;
2) For Mel Gibson;
3) For Vegemite, a trick played on all visitors to our fair shores;
4) For the vicious and/or toxic wildlife that consume said visitors, or cause their limbs to turn blue and puff up to the size and shape of a Volkswagen;
5) For Ann Coulter and all her frenzied female ilk;
6) I don’t need to apologise for Michelle Malkin, because the fine Filipino film-makers who created the screamingly funny Gagamboy have amply compensated for any past or future sins committed by denizens of those islands;
7) For Alexander Downer, our ex-Foreign Monster, who was born in my state, and is a tosspot of heroic proportions;
8) To anyone else, for anything else, relevant or otherwise.
Ahhh, I feel so cleansed. But I’m still wildly envious of Smut, who so consummately extracts gurgles of laughter from me with his every post.
Okay, I apologise for that as well. But now I’m definitely done.
Percyprune said,
February 15, 2008 at 1:30
Correct, Julius Caesar identified the Scots as an Irish tribe. Which creates a problem for anyone trying to claim Irishness as a unique identity. The modern country is one great melting pot of celts, Anglo-Irish, Old English and Scots resettlers. You would have enormous difficulty trying to filter pure Irishness out of that.
Actually, we mostly left the total war stuff to the Irish. Whether it is the Ulster Rebellion, the siege of Derry or the Irish Civil War, no one is more brutal on the Irish than the Irish themselves. It’s the great tragedy of Ireland.
That said, Cromwell certainly blotted his copybook at Drogheda. He was a Godly man, capable of great savagery against papists. In the context of Irish atrocities in the Irish Wars, the depredations of Owen Roe O’Niell, and Montrose’s Scottish campaign, many contemporaries regarded it as just payback.
When it comes to total war, the stain on Britain’s conscience is South Africa. What was done there was a great sin.
You remind me of those London Irish who used to yammer on at me in smoky pubs about Drogheda and their great-granddad in the Easter uprising. (The number of times I’ve heard that claim. I swear, that Post Office must have been 400 acres square!) Anyway, when they’ve calmed down you suddenly discover that they come from, er, Shepherd’s Bush.
Lord spare me from their mitherings! Give me an honest Irishman rather than some plastic one, any day!
It’s difficult to know where to begin to pick this hysterical mess of half truths, propaganda and hatred apart. I think you need to read up on some Irish history, old son. There are two sides to the story, and the sins of the loyal Irish, of which we unflinchingly admit there are many, are matched by those of their enemies. Neither side is lillywhite. Both have villains and heroes.
The facts on the ground are this: the unionist tendency currently represents the majority in the six counties. That may change in the future, but in the meantime it is a solid reality you chaps in the diaspora must deal with. The tide of the battle for civil rights has turned and the nationalist community enjoys an increasing measure of power. This is right and just and should be applauded. However, it means that modern Ireland is in danger of leaving the diaspora behind. My worry is that there are fools who have never set foot in the country and yet want to refight old wars. This is a very unhealthy obsession.
Jay B. said,
February 15, 2008 at 1:41
The thing that got me pissed off was Jay B mouthing off, calling Northern Ireland an “artificial country”. Newsflash idiot. All nations are artificial. They are social constructs. Nothing more.
OK, so this one was an artificial construct wherein the British, after raping the entire nation for hundreds of years and treating its citizens as utterly disposable, managed to strike a deal where they could hold on to a section of it for a few more decades while continuing to treat a sizable minority of the people there like serfs, second-class citizens and what have you. No? They couldn’t be cops. They couldn’t serve in government. They had next to no rights.
But whatever right? Just another Yank spouting off. And what about the Native Americans, right? What’s the difference between the 1800’s and 1968 anyway?
Not an IRA guy by any stretch, but to blithely dismiss what actually happened in Ireland and Ulster from 1919 to just a few years ago because a lot of Americans followed it is a study in obtuse douchebaggery.
Ian Paisley? That’s your man.
Jay B. said,
February 15, 2008 at 1:52
The tide of the battle for civil rights has turned and the nationalist community enjoys an increasing measure of power. This is right and just and should be applauded.
Oh thanks sahib. Very, very happy you approve of their rights of full participatory citizenship. How that warms me.
My worry is that there are fools who have never set foot in the country and yet want to refight old wars. This is a very unhealthy obsession..
And my worry is that apologists want to forget what happened in recent memory while maintaining the old “well there were bad things on both sides.”
It’s a bullshit dodge when Americans say it about the Civil Rights Movement, it’s bullshit when you do. The healthy thing — the thing that even Bush has done in regards to the Civil Rights Movement — is to speak honestly and with candor about what happened.
And my immediate family lives in Ireland douchebag.
Percyprune said,
February 15, 2008 at 1:52
What I always find interesting about this rhetoric is the way that the unionist Irish are written out of history, as if they didn’t exist or didn’t have a say in their destiny. It’s almost as if they were English rather than an Irish people in their own right, with their own aspirations and fears. These tirades are always couched as Irish vs. British things, rather than the more complex web of history, loyalty, obligation and religion that it is.
Actually, yes. When history is reduced to this sort of sketch cartoon, it is easy to dismiss.
A man voted for by many Irish. And therefore a man who has to be dealt with, for good or ill.
random idiot said,
February 15, 2008 at 1:52
Excuse me for treating the early history of Northern Ireland in the same way that people living there do. As a piece of history not worth dragging up, because ending a modern conflict is more important than blathering on about past injustices, which are so old they are increasingly hard to identify with in any case.
As a current social construct, Northern Ireland is as legitimate as any political boundary. History does not give anyone the right to kick anyone else out.
MzNicky said,
February 15, 2008 at 2:08
Actually, Percy, I was addressing random idiot, not you. Nevertheless: I can’t speak for your pub pals and their “yammerings,” nor would I offer a guess as to their origins. I’m speaking as one of many North Americans who has Irish roots less than two generations old. It seems way more important to you than to anyone else anyway. And I’d suggest British imperialism has a lot more to answer for than just South Africa, bub.
Your comments here make me think that you’re something like a 20th-century colonialist in India who’s got himself all puffed up over fancying himself being a big fucking deal in the third world instead of a second- or third-tier wanker in Britain.
In addition to Christopher Hitchens, you can apologize for Tina Brown. By the way, thanks for taking Madonna.
Mitigating factor: The Beatles.
El Cid said,
February 15, 2008 at 2:09
I need the Aztecs to apologize to the Tlaxcalans for continually attacking them, if the Tlaxcalans will apologize for helping Spain to conquer the Aztecs too.
Jay B. said,
February 15, 2008 at 2:10
These tirades are always couched as Irish vs. British things, rather than the more complex web of history, loyalty, obligation and religion that it is.
History? Religion? No shit? Here I was thinking it was a matter of nose lengths.
Unionist Irish are written out of history, as if they didn’t exist or didn’t have a say in their destiny. It’s almost as if they were English rather than an Irish people in their own right, with their own aspirations and fears.
The English gave the unionists the army and the constabulary. The unionists cast their lot with the crown and were loyal subjects. They’re Irish, sure. And they identify with the Union Jack. Pretty basic. Please tell me how they are not British (I know they are not English).
Ultimately, they’re moving on. And I agree its a good thing. But as we’ve seen since our own Civil War in the US, getting rights and keeping them are two separate things. Keeping them requires vigilance.
Lancelot Link said,
February 15, 2008 at 2:13
Comedy and Irishness aside, if Obama condemned the minister in question, the story would be all about his hostility towards Christianity.
Percyprune said,
February 15, 2008 at 2:14
Who said anything about forgetting? This is all about facing facts and avoiding another bloody conflict.
Hardly bullshit, it’s history. Are you going to pretend that terrorist bombings of civilians were noble acts? That sectarian killings were just? I think it is better if we acknowledge that, say, Michael Collins was such a vicious shit that the Free Irish themselves conspired to have him slain.
And that’s what I am doing. What you are doing seems to lack candour and elides those bits of history you find inconvenient. No one is denying what the unionists have done. It’s in the record. As are the acts of the Fenians.
The first step in any reconciliation is to recognize the faults of both sides. Not pander to unionist or republican myths.
Then what a shame they haven’t given you any special insight.
random idiot said,
February 15, 2008 at 2:16
So, the Unionists are Irish, and thus the north part of Ireland they live in belongs to the Irish..
But they are also British, and thus oppressing those poor Irish.
Come on, make your mind up!
Percyprune said,
February 15, 2008 at 2:24
Only insofar as I’ve had my fill of n’th-generation Irish wannabes rewriting history in a very selective fashion.
I wouldn’t disagree. However, South Africa was a particularly nasty moment, a confluence of colonialism and industrial-era warfare that begat the concentration camp. It was, to use a loose analogy, our Vietnam.
If I could parse that sentence I’d reply to it. But I confess you lost me there…
random idiot said,
February 15, 2008 at 2:26
The problem here, Jay B, is that you seem to be BLAMING the population of Northern Ireland for choosing to identify as British.
You cannot cast them as traitors to their irish heritage, nor can you label them as English, and thus invaders.
I know a few young Irish people, north and south, and they are pissed off with identity politics. They resent people from off the island butting into their social problems, and have local identities with nothing to do with religion, history, or even their genetics, or even family history.
SwiftsGhost said,
February 15, 2008 at 2:27
Percyprune,
Sorry I asked.
Did’nt mean to start a ‘whataboutery’ session. As far as I am concerned there is plenty of blame to go around.
Hopefully, matters will continue to move in the right direction.It’s good to see Martin McGuinness and Ian Paisely ‘co-operating’ whatever we may think of them as individuals.
As to Irish American funding of the in the early 1900’s through the 1922, say, as a person born in the Republic, am grateful to the Irish -Americans because their money made the Free State possible. Mind you, having left in the ’80s (being surplus to requirement) and settled in NYC I’m not in any hurry to go back.
Smiling Mortician said,
February 15, 2008 at 2:29
In fairness, Percyprune, that sentence is perfectly clear. Admittedly it’s objectionable if you happen to be the alleged wanker in question, but it’s eminently parse-able.
And now I’m turning tail and dashing off to another thread, secure in the knowledge that I know precisely what topic to introduce if I wish to see the commentariat here devour each other . . .
Jay B. said,
February 15, 2008 at 2:38
Are you going to pretend that terrorist bombings of civilians were noble acts? That sectarian killings were just? No. You going to pretend that Catholics in Ireland for hundreds of years, then Northern Ireland well into the 20th Century were given equal rights as the Protestants? Are you going to say these crimes are equivalent in scope?
I think it is better if we acknowledge that, say, Michael Collins was such a vicious shit that the Free Irish themselves conspired to have him slain. One might argue it wasn’t because he was too vicious, but gave up too much in the Anglo-Irish (hey, their words, not mine) Treaty. But whatever, I was told that everyone’s moved on. I guess not.
But they are also British, and thus oppressing those poor Irish.
Yes, that’s pretty much it exactly. Great Britain certainly considered them British.
Jay B. said,
February 15, 2008 at 2:45
The problem here, Jay B, is that you seem to be BLAMING the population of Northern Ireland for choosing to identify as British.
No you asshole. I’m BLAMING them for putting the boot on the necks of the Catholic minority for decades while flying the Union Jack in a manner worthy of a Southern racist flying the ’stars n’ bars’ in Mississippi circa 1964. It’s no accidental similarity, either.
The Catholics first tried to emulate MLK and non-violent resistance to obtain their rights and were brutally crushed by the state. Ian Paisley was a strong supporter of the Jim Crow South and Bob Jones U.
Was the IRA justified killing innocent people? No. Were the Catholics in Northern Ireland treated like equal citizens under the crown? No.
random idiot said,
February 15, 2008 at 2:55
Here is some news for you. Of the People who are alive in northern ireland today who identify as British.. Only a tiny fraction are responsible for any kind of oppression of catholics, or republicans.
Those people are NOT responsible for the actions of people who lived hundreds of years before, who had the same national identity as them. The actions of those long dead people do NOT invalidate their right to live in the place they were born in, and are living in, nor does it invalidate their national identity.
I smell a bit of bias. Come on. Full disclosure. I am a British citizen, and an agnostic with equal scorn for all sects of christianity. You?
Lawnguylander said,
February 15, 2008 at 3:16
Only insofar as I’ve had my fill of n’th-generation Irish wannabes rewriting history in a very selective fashion.
This from a guy who makes the claim that Michael Collins was killed by Free Staters? Heh. But I understand your frustration with what he did, wresting away part of the Empire and all. And right next door! As far as acknowledging what a vicious shit the Big Fellow was, I know. And he was dealing with such fine nonviolent gentlemen in Henry Wilson, Winston Churchill and those lovely Black and Tan fellows. What was that all about? I guess he blotted his copybook here and there but many contemporaries regarded his actions as just payback.
Jay B. said,
February 15, 2008 at 3:23
Of the People who are alive in northern ireland today who identify as British.. Only a tiny fraction are responsible for any kind of oppression of catholics, or republicans.
The Good Friday agreement was signed in 1998, you tool. Police reform, which had been spotty up until then, only started in earnest after that. Orangemen still march. The government split as recently as 2004.
The actions of those long dead people do NOT invalidate their right to live in the place they were born in, and are living in, nor does it invalidate their national identity
YOU’RE the one who denied they consider themselves British. And who exactly has claimed they should be removed from Ulster?
I smell a bit of bias.
Wow. You’re like a fucking bloodhound. You piece that together all by yourself?
Come on. Full disclosure. I am a British citizen, and an agnostic with equal scorn for all sects of christianity. You?
I am an American whose immediate family lives in Ireland (the Republic) as well as the US. I am an ex-Catholic atheist who hates discrimination and injustice in all its forms and would hate it equally if Catholics were on the giving end of it in Ireland. And I offer as proof, my contempt for my ancient Catholic aunt’s grotesquely ignorant Old World anti-semitism.
The Poles said,
February 15, 2008 at 3:24
I thought we were the new Irish?
Lesley said,
February 15, 2008 at 3:27
On the other hand: Elvis, Dolly Parton, Stax Records, James Agee, and the elephant sanctuary.
My eyes pop whenever I see mention of the elephant sanctuary (in Tennessee). I’m a huge fan of that place and PAWS. http://www.pawsweb.org/
random idiot said,
February 15, 2008 at 3:47
So. We have a Catholic background which causes you to excuse or play down republican atrocities, whilst being as vocal as possible about anything done by Unionists, who get slated twice for being traitors to the republic, and for being British too. Oh, those oppressive bastards, marching through the streets carrying big banners. What the fuck do they think this is, a democracy that is supposed to have a right to peaceful assembly?
So the IRA never practised discrimination and injustice.. Okay, thats defensible in a twisted way… They blew up or shot a surprising number of catholics too. That doesn’t mean they wern’t a set of hateful little bastards with little interest in contributing to the peace process, despite the vast majority of catholics and republicans wanting them to fucking knock it off.
According to you, the right thing to do is start assigning blame left right and centre.. Well, mostly in the unionist direction.. Or possibly in the british governments direction, because every colonial loves to hate them.
Because of course, you are determined to turn “historic injustice” into “present day hatred and resentment”.
Keep that hate alive! Those people living in NI that want to forgive and forget are just pussies! Its time to start pointing blood stained fingers at one another!
Marshall Crenshaw said,
February 15, 2008 at 3:53
I’m sorry, but so is Brenda Lee.
Jay B. said,
February 15, 2008 at 4:22
We have a Catholic background which causes you to excuse or play down republican atrocities, whilst being as vocal as possible about anything done by Unionists, who get slated twice for being traitors to the republic, and for being British too. Oh, those oppressive bastards, marching through the streets carrying big banners. What the fuck do they think this is, a democracy that is supposed to have a right to peaceful assembly?
Wow. It’s hard to be that dense. But the truly dense make it look effortless.
I don’t excuse or play down republican atrocities. I’m saying that just because there were republican atrocities, it doesn’t excuse the widespread, decades-long systemic and state-driven disenfranchisement of the Catholic population in Northern Ireland. Your need to draw an equivalence between the IRA and those who had the police and wielded political power in Northern Ireland is like listening to a Southern racist complaining that because the Black Panthers shot a cop, they should continue to be able and deny blacks the right to vote.
The unionists had almost all the power in Northern Ireland and used it to squash civil rights for Catholics. I’m not lying here. And they were British by definition. They now can claim either — or both — Irishness and/or Britishness.
And seriously, the fact that you think the Orangemen marches are simply peaceful assemblies makes you wholly unable to comprehend what actually happened — until VERY recent times — in Northern Ireland. That’s why some of us prefer to remember (while hoping progress continues), because of the stone ignorance and smug stupidity of folks like you.
Because of course, you are determined to turn “historic injustice” into “present day hatred and resentment”.
Right. I admire the hell out of the process that got these people to the table and resulted in a semi-working representative government, but I think it’s safe to say “present day hatred and resentment” isn’t exactly miles from the surface. And it’s something I didn’t have a thing to do with.
I hope that things continue to progress and I expect they will. But your blithe dismissal of the very real suffering that the Catholics endured until, officially, last decade speaks volumes. You think it’s me who’s calling for a continuation of the fighting, which I am not. But I think by not addressing what actually happened makes it more likely that full trust will never be established and that the specter of a backlash remains higher.
I look to the Truth and Reconcilation Commission in South Africa as a good model.
MzNicky said,
February 15, 2008 at 4:34
Lesley: Thanks for the PAWs link. Awesome.
The glorious border state of Tennessee is a truly marvelous mindfuck of a place in which to live. We can spawn wonders like the elephant sanctuary, Al Gore, and Graceland, yet we must unendingly suffer such fools as this jackass, who happens to be my state rep. Life in all its splendor.
random idiot said,
February 15, 2008 at 4:58
I am not refusing to address what has happened. That is a matter of historical record. What I refuse to do, is assign blame.
You are pushing blame onto entire groups of people. That causes further, unnecessary conflict. Individuals who commit crimes get arrested for it. People who practice legal discrimination now face some form of social disapproval. Saying “group X is to blame for Y” only causes trouble, when none of the groups involved have political aims which are necessarily violent, or illegal.
Advocating any form of political system in NI is not illegal. Having a catholic or protestant faith, is not illegal. Nor are any of these things wrong. By blaming groups for past actions, you make it so much harder for non-violent advocates to condemn people who used violence to similar aims as their own. The current non-violent advocates of any of these ideologies, are not to blame for actions of others who tried to further the same ideology by violent means.
It is not in the least bit like the racist southern US. There, the trouble was caused by a group with illegal and unethical aims. Segregation and racial discrimination is inherently illegal and unethical. You can separate “white” from “racist”, but you cannot separate “racist” from “illegitimate political aims”
However, you can easily separate “republican” and “unionist” from any illegitimate or inherently violent agenda. Whilst these advocates of particular forms of government/political boundaries have had an agenda tied into all sorts of nasty shit, it doesn’t have to involve violent means or human rights violations, and it doesn’t have to be tied into religious hatred.. Although that is the hardest thing to filter out, because of the long historical connection between the opposing political ideologies, and the opposing religions.
That is why the actual residents of NI really fucking hate blanket condemnations of either ideology, religion, or national identity. The violence is just about over, the hatred is on the wane, but assigning blame for history always reflects blame on some present day group, creating a present day point of conflict. People are sick of that. These things get dredged up, over and over. The old people and the ex-pats are the worst for it though.
My friends in NI are more concerned with drinking bucky and hooning round the country lanes in clapped out esscys than politics. But they are aware they are very lucky to be ABLE to treat it all as over. It is a slightly delicate social balancing act. People are effectively saying “ill pretend it never happened if you pretend it never happened”. Anyone who starts playing the blame game is very unpopular.
Johnny Coelacanth said,
February 15, 2008 at 6:28
I’d like to apologize for this thread being derailed into a long discussion of the Irish. WTF? Those guys got their own holiday. You never see “Kiss me I’m French” buttons on Bastille Day, or “Snog me I’m a twat” on Guy Fawkes day. Quit complaining already and get drunk and dance a fucking jig ya annoying micks.
Too harsh?
Patkin said,
February 15, 2008 at 9:33
As an Irish-American, I would like to apologize to everyone for these short-dicked fight-at-drop-of-a-miter green-blooded motherfuckers. It’s like family reunions, you get enough of them in one place and they’ll start punching the psis out of one another.
The NonSequitur » Blog Archive » Argumentum ad angelum said,
February 15, 2008 at 14:30
[...] as large as Reynolds makes it, this becomes a rather difficult task.via Crooked Timber and Sadly, No. This entry was posted on Friday, February 15th, 2008 at 8:07 am by jcasey and is filed [...]
Brad said,
February 15, 2008 at 20:30
300!
Rock.
Lawnguylander said,
February 15, 2008 at 20:33
300 hunnert n’ frist.
atheist said,
February 15, 2008 at 20:48
My Italian ancestors would like to apologize for conquering Britain, half-civilizing the savages of that island, building lots of aqueducts, and then getting the hell out when their empire fell apart. They believe that they gave the British ideas.
Steven Pagones said,
February 15, 2008 at 23:38
Obama damned well better apologize to me. Nobody else ever did.
Tawana's Mom said,
February 15, 2008 at 23:45
You can kiss my big black ass, Pagones. Obama’s gonna do right by my baby when he is president.
Roger Stone said,
February 16, 2008 at 0:09
It was a pleasure working with Reverend Al. I almost busted a gut when I heard “phony liberal paternalism.”
Ralph Nader said,
February 16, 2008 at 0:16
I will always have a place in my heart for Reverend Sharpton. His support in 2000 was invaluable and I had a blast at the Harlem rally. That photo of us arm-in-arm in a victory salute is one of my favorites.
Bobby S. said,
February 16, 2008 at 0:27
Black Panthers For Obama!
Maya Angelou said,
February 16, 2008 at 0:45
Jeez, I’m between a rock and a hard place. Calling Clinton the first black president sounds pretty fucking stupid at the moment.
Angela Davis said,
February 16, 2008 at 0:46
Angela Davis For Minister of Education!
Paco said,
February 16, 2008 at 0:46
As a Mexican-American I’d like to apologize for the 12-20 million illegal aliens who shouldn’t even be in this country and I’d also like to apologize for the Mexican government for refusing to stop them from coming here.
Angela Davis said,
February 16, 2008 at 0:47
Oops! I obviously meant Secretary of Education
stringonastick said,
February 16, 2008 at 1:14
As someone who is quite unsure about my polyglot ancestry, I’m going to apologize for everything in the damned universe. Except for Jonah Goldload; one has to have standards to uphold or the whole place goes to hell.
Bob McNamara said,
February 16, 2008 at 1:31
Nope, not gonna do it. No apologies, no regrets.
Jamil Abdullah Al-Amin said,
February 16, 2008 at 1:46
Angie,
Greetings from Colorado! How big is this Obama thing? Any chance he’ll give the nod to a brother?
WayneBarrettFan said,
February 16, 2008 at 3:09
I hope Obama gets the nomination and then tells Sharpton to go fuck himself. BTW, did anyone else notice that Sharpton and Jesse Jackson were seated in the boondocks at Coretta King’s funeral?
Sinfonian said,
February 16, 2008 at 4:26
Has Obama apologized for That’s So Raven yet?
Because if he doesn’t, somebody probably should.
Oh, I don’t know. I’ve got kids, so I’ve managed to inadvertently catch moments of the show.
This is not altogether bad. Anneliese van der Pol, for example, plays Raven’s best friend. She’s 24, I believe. And, oh yes, I’d hit it™.
Soullite said,
February 16, 2008 at 17:31
What’s wrong with That’s so Raven? I’ve always had a thing for Raven Symone, even during her heavier periods, and her side kick is really something when she’s all dressed up.
Astute Observer said,
February 16, 2008 at 17:46
Y’all at SN didn’t like the comments here yesterday about Obama and the Black Panthers, didja? Guess who he is really going to have to apologize for now?
THE FREAKIN’ WEATHER UNDERGROUND!!!
Larry Johnson is all over the story at No Quarter.
In case anyone hasn’t noticed, Obama was a STUDENT and he is a member of the DEMOCRATIC party and he is a member of SOCIETY? You know that means, don’t you? Yup, the demand for another apology is coming down the pipeline.
Plus Obama is from Chicago and who among us has forgotten the Chicago Seven? Is Obama going to apologize to Hubert Humphrey’s family on behalf of Bobby Seale or not? And now we’re back to the Black Panthers just like I predicted.
Ever hear of Minister Quannell X and new Black Panther Party in Texas?
soullite said,
February 16, 2008 at 19:15
Nobody gives a fuck about the Weather Underground. There were a lot of excesses in those days, and not all of them were on the left. You may recall that Republicans killed how many of our people? How many freedom riders did they butcher? How many of our politicians did the republicans gun down? What those on our side did, they did to strike a blow against a corrupt and oppressive system. What their side did, they did to keep hundreds of thousands in second class citizenship. We did a lot of things that were wrong, but we will never tough the depths of their evil.
Astute Observer said,
February 16, 2008 at 20:53
Nobody gives a fuck about the Weather Underground.
Sez you. Bloomberg New sure does.
Wait until the media finds out that Mark Rudd and the new SDS endorse Obama and that the SDS has been demonstrating against Bill Clinton’s record of of imperialist crimes and atrocities.
atheist said,
February 17, 2008 at 0:35
Plus Obama is from Chicago and who among us has forgotten the Chicago Seven? Is Obama going to apologize to Hubert Humphrey’s family on behalf of Bobby Seale or not? And now we’re back to the Black Panthers just like I predicted. Ever hear of Minister Quannell X and new Black Panther Party in Texas?
I hope Obama grows a big ‘ol afro and starts waving an AK-47 around on national television, then says, “Kill Whitey”.
It would make a lot of stupid people scared and angry, and bring a smile to my face.
Sam Thornton said,
February 17, 2008 at 4:03
I would like to sincerely apologize in advance for suggesting the only reason John McCain has an ass is so he has a place to put his head.
Disgusted in NY said,
February 17, 2008 at 18:12
Someone should apologize for today’s NY Times op-ed page. Kristof is almost incoherent.
Victor said,
February 19, 2008 at 7:28
Old news. There have been variations on a theme of “Did you know Steve Cohen is JEWISH? and WHITE? That makes him a BAD PERSON!” since the last time Cohen got elected. (One of his opponents said that Cohen shouldn’t be elected because the district was black and Cohen was Jewish and the Jews could never really represent non-Jews.) If Obama doesn’t have to apologize for Julian Bolton, he doesn’t have to apologize for this guy either.
Roger Stone said,
March 19, 2008 at 1:17
Hey Eliot
Who’s a fucking Steamroller now?
Roger Stone
Andyboy said,
March 19, 2008 at 1:20
Roger Stone set the dumb fucker up! Wait and see if the whore doesnt end up being connected to Stone and his depraved lifestyle.
Bush’s DOJ was only too happy to help Stone out and bust Spitzer to detract from their own war crimes.
The Colonel said,
March 19, 2008 at 1:25
You liberals hate Roger Stone because he stole the election from Gore in 2000,innoculated G W Bush on the Texas Air Guard/Rathergate matter,kicked the shit out of Dukakis and you know he’s gonna take Obama or Hillary down.
The repubs have Stone…and u dems have jerk-offs like James Carville.